Are Other People’s Emotions Crowding Out Your Own Feelings?

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For personality types like mine, ENFJ, it’s not even a question of “separating the feelings of others from my own feelings”.

It’s not because I can’t tell them apart – it’s because mine are so “quiet” (until they’re not) when they feel overpowered by a collective emotional atmosphere, or the specific emotional state of my own husband, daughter, grandson…

I find it amazing that I could even BE an “Extrovert” with this kind of emotional “structure”.

If you’ve taken a full personality typing test, and discover you’re like me, an ENFJ – perhaps this question from Brandy is your most pressing question, too:

The Question:

“Rori, I guess I’m “empathetic”! I pick up on other’s emotions so quickly, and sometimes I can’t tell what I’m feeling, or if it’s what they’re feeling!

How can I not distinguish between my own emotion and the emotion that I’ve picked up from someone else? It’s as though I believe this other person’s emotion is my very own!

My Answer:

Based on my research into my own “type”:

When we “believe this other person’s emotion is our very own, it’s because other people’s emotions, in that moment, are our emotions“.

The problems, worries, anxieties, fears, or happiness of our spouse, siblings, people we know at work, close friends…somehow BECOME our OWN.

This shows up for us as a deep thing – not some surface-level feeling.

We actually, genuinely take on the feelings and problems of the people we care about.

How WE feel about something is actually shoved down, literally covered over, suppressed, quieted –  because it often is the opposite of what we want in a subconscious way.

We do not prioritize our personal wants, desires, goals…

The way we actually, internally individually feel and believe then shows up as a kind of mean-voiced, sometimes totally aggressive – but mostly passively-aggressive in an underground kind of way – inner judge and critic.

If this sounds like you, I know how it feels.

When someone walks in the room, I feel a complete change in my own mood and mental and feeling state.

It’s like I adapt, or morph, or mirror what’s inside that person.

Until my daughter introduced me to personality typing, I simply thought of it as my “empath” gift.

I know and am friends with many psychics, mediums, and empathic healers, and have been characterized by all as having some clairaudience and clairsentience gifts – and I believe we all carry these gifts, though, for some of us, they take up more space in our awareness and “functioning” than for others.

Thus, different functioning = diffferent personality types.

Once you get more fluent with listening to yourself, to your wants and desires, and paying attention to them in a loving way – you’ll start to be able to tell where the thoughts, ideas, feelings, suggestions are actually coming from.

It’s pretty amazing when you start to tune into what “feels like you”.

Love, Rori

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