Are You Feisty?

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The thing about being a doormat is – it’s not very attractive to men.

The thing we’re afraid of is the thing they most want – a sense that we know who we are, love who we are, and will retain ourselves even as we become deeply involved and invested in a relationship.

So – what are we missing in getting this message out?

We’re either giving instructions about what we want, disapproving of what a man is doing, or just throwing ourselves at his feet.

This just plain gets you nowhere.

Strong on the inside, soft on the outside is something completely different.

It’s sort of – “I’m Okay – You’re Okay. Now, I’m open to seeing what happens when we’re together.

It’s not letting chemistry turn your awareness of yourself to mush.

It’s not letting your mind run your heart.

It’s knowing the difference between your heart and chemistry.

It’s holding onto what you want in a relationship, even though you’re crying over a particular man who isn’t filling the bill.

It’s doing the Tools without hovering over the results.

It’s using what you learn from your results to motivate you to practice the Tools even more – and to practice the SPECIFIC Tools that get you the best feeling feelings – regardless of what your mind thinks of the “results” with any particular man.

It’s so loving exactly what’s happening and what’s already happening – regardless of what your mind thinks about it –ย  that regret, “what if,” “if only,” and wishing just disappear from your life.

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 6:52 am

    Top of the world!

  2.  #2Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 6:55 am

    Wonder if feisty is considered the same as biatchy

  3.  #3Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 6:58 am

    I feel really moved by this post.

    “The thing weโ€™re afraid of is the thing they most want โ€“ a sense that we know who we are, love who we are, and will RETAIN OURSELVES even as we become deeply involved and invested in a relationship.”

    How do you retain yourself as you become deeply involved and invested in a relationship?

  4.  #4Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 7:03 am

    I used to be THE QUEEN of doormats. No more!!!
    I’m trying so hard to say what I need to say when it needs to be said….. But, it’s difficult. I hate confrontation, arguing, etc.
    So I just go into myself and stuff it all down. Now, I’m feeling it and finding the words, whether I actually say them out loud is another step. Baby steps, right?
    Feisty? Yeah I wanna be that.

  5.  #5Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 7:07 am

    No FW, to me, feisty is knowing and saying what you want in a playful, but meaningful spirit.
    Words, feelings, even the not so good ones, can be expressed without the bitchiness attached.

  6.  #6Starla on October 15, 2012 at 7:16 am

    stick to your guns, it always works out

    if you try to stick to your guns but don’t feel enough worth in yourself to feel deserving of said guns, he will get confused and frustrated and drained by you.

    but if you stick to your guns, and do it in the Rori Raye way that doesn’t make either of you wrong, it will always work out.

  7.  #7Starla on October 15, 2012 at 7:20 am

    my life is so busy and crazy right now and i just keep telling myself it’s all going to work out, and visualizing how good it feels that it all worked out:)

  8.  #8Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 7:22 am

    I’m in moderation….

  9.  #9Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 7:23 am

    I wrote “the whole story” on the previous thread, but what does it mean when a guy buries his head into your shoulder when you’re hugging?


  10.  #10Tam on October 15, 2012 at 7:31 am

    Hey Starla…sometimes I wonder whether this is me though:

    ‘if you try to stick to your guns but donโ€™t feel enough worth in yourself to feel deserving of said guns, he will get confused and frustrated and drained by you.’

    What about faking it till your making it.
    Maybe I will never get to that super high self esteem place and always feel nervous by stating my boundaries. Does that mean I will never find love?

    I really hope not :/

  11.  #11Tam on October 15, 2012 at 7:34 am

    is *everything* always ‘our fault’, like
    – we didn’t make him feel safe (I have heard that many times, it triggers me now)
    – our feeling messaged were not authentic enough
    – we stuffed our feelings
    – we analysed too much
    ..I mean, sometimes it sounds as if we did everything right and loved ourselves enough, things would just happen by magic and any good man would want us immediately.
    I feel like a failure when I read some of that stuff.
    I hate feeling like that!!
    I want to feel incompletely complete, I am human and men make lots of mistakes also. Or behave in a way that does not make me feel safe either.
    Slathering on love for me today.
    I am allowed to be imperfect.

  12.  #12Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 7:38 am

    Older men have a huge blind spot when it comes to age. They refuse to even consider women their own age, even if she’s fit and attractive. Worse, they’re hypocritical about it, because they don’t understand why the vast majority of younger women won’t go for them.

    And yet, the fastest growing segment for online dating is the 50+ market. More unhappy couples are getting divorced when the kids leave the house. More people work from home. More people spend 10 hours a day at the office. More people have computers and are aware of someone who found love online

  13.  #13Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 7:39 am

    @10 Tam – I don’t think it’s *always* our fault at all. We can do our best to be authentic, speak our feelings, and to stay in our bodies rather than spinning around in our masculine head energy, and still not get the reaction from him that we wanted or were expecting.

    the idea is to NOT have expectations…

    you kinda sound like you’re beating yourself up! ( I do it too.)

    Try to just feel and forgive yourself and to let go of expectations, worries, and doubts.


  14.  #14Starla on October 15, 2012 at 7:42 am

    tam i think faking it is juuust fine:)

    but you gotta fake it WELL.

    i used to assert boundaries and needs, and then feel so terrified they’d walk away, that i ended up pressuring them/doubting them/carrying a lot of negative energy. they experienced it as pressure and manipulation (it was).

    you have to be prepared to walk if you don’t get what you need.

    and you have to be clear with yourself that you do, in fact, need it enough to walk if you don’t get it.

    hope this makes sense.

  15.  #15Starla on October 15, 2012 at 7:45 am

    f*ck no, everything is not our fault.

    and they will try to blame us. but that is just human nature, to try to blame outside forces…

    like warrior tried to suggest that because i didn’t sleep with him, he couldn’t open up to me.

    i immediately said i would feel awful gambling sex in hopes that a man will be sweeter to me afterwards.

    silly warrior <3.

    I feel a lot of love for him.

  16.  #16Tam on October 15, 2012 at 7:46 am

    lama, thank you. Well not so much beating myself up as just wondering when it became necessary to strive for perfection.
    aren’t we all unique?
    ‘can do our best’ – that is what I mean. Not everybody is ‘good’ at speaking one’s feelings and so on. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve love?
    I had two beautiful 5 year long relationships before I even heard of all that stuff.
    Those guys are now married, and perhaps all those men that are able to do relationship and marriage STAY in their relationships and marriages, it sure does seem that way when I look around.
    I know there will be tons of you all now saying ‘but that is a limiting belief, there are lots of single good men any age’. Maybe I just don’t meet them.
    Fact is: it was A LOT easier in my 20’s, when most people were still looking for relationships, had not been married yet, no kids.
    I can speak my feelings all I want when there are so many men interested in me that I find freaky or appalling, and the men I like have some kind of issues or are still in love with their ex wives, or are still married..or whatever. Or they tell me they see a red flag with me because I don’t answer every single one of their 10 texts in 60 minutes.

    I feel supremely frustrated at dating these people.

  17.  #17Tam on October 15, 2012 at 7:48 am

    Starla, lol at faking it well..haha.
    Perhaps I just can’t be arsed at faking it.
    What happened to ‘take me as I am?’. Hrmpf.

  18.  #18Tam on October 15, 2012 at 7:49 am

    oh yes, walking is not the problem. My problem is more ‘not hanging in there’ as I don’t normally do that.

  19.  #19Heart on October 15, 2012 at 7:50 am

    wow…Got the fiesty market covered ๐Ÿ˜›

  20.  #20Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 7:52 am

    can someone PLEASE give me some insight as to why my guy friend buried his head into my shoulder when we were hugging goodbye, last time I was going to see him before he gets married?

    it’s KILLING me. not knowing what it meant…

  21.  #21Tam on October 15, 2012 at 7:52 am

    Actually, I am feeling quite at peace today. I don’t think love is that hard. At least from what I remember it.
    So that’s fine. And anyway, I have a life to be getting on with.

  22.  #22Tam on October 15, 2012 at 7:53 am

    lama, I feel afraid to tell you that it may have meant nothing much except just how he felt in the moment – safe with you and close to you.
    What do you think?
    Is this the engaged one?

  23.  #23Calypso on October 15, 2012 at 7:53 am


    I spent all day Saturday cleaning my house, decorating it for Fall and slow cooking a pot of chili. I did this for me, but also because JC was coming over for the first time in weeks to MY house and i wanted to please him – I liked the way it felt to cook for him, to think about him as i cleaned and decorated my home.

    He worked that day, so I knew he would be tired. I gave him a warm welcome, a cold beer and fixed his plate – including piping hot fresh cornbread. My house smelled lovely and i felt soft and feminine.

    For the first time, I felt really open and ready to give myself to him completely without any resistance. I had been building toward it all day . . . so of course, he was the opposite! I’m so glad i have been reading about this so i did not over react or over think it – I leaned forward, he leaned back. He was distant and I did not feel the deep connection I was craving. It is usually the other way around, with him wanting more and me leaning back.

    Funny how the dance works. My turn to lean back again, which I am so good at anyway . . .

  24.  #24Heart on October 15, 2012 at 7:54 am

    Iama – it’s because you’re a beautiful siren and any man would love to do that…
    Is this JackCd you’re writing about?

  25.  #25Starla on October 15, 2012 at 7:54 am

    because YOU have to take YOU as you are.

    that means if you have a boundary, you need to own it. if you have a boundary, but worry too much about losing his interest, it’s a cop out to say HE should take you as you are… because you’re asking him to do for you what you refuse to do for yourself.

  26.  #26Tam on October 15, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Starla, I believe there is a bit of a confusion here. I totally agree with the boundaries.
    But as in ‘take me as I am’, I meant a whole host of other stuff, for example:
    I am not going to walk around all day telling someone I feel pink and squishy and melty – that is just not me and not my style, it would be inauthentic. That was where I was coming from.
    I feel weird at turning myself into someone else just in order to ‘make a man feel safe’.
    Smells of manipulation.
    Speaking authentically, yes, but I still want to be me.

  27.  #27Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 8:00 am

    @21 Tam – I think you’re right. It just felt really intimate and more-than-friends, and so I feel confused, I guess. Yes, this is the engaged one.

    @23 Heart – No, it’s not Jack CD. I feel sooooo disconnected from Jack CD it’s not even funny.

  28.  #28Starla on October 15, 2012 at 8:06 am

    tam, i must have missed something

    i’m not sure where the discussion of saying you feel pink and squishy and whatnot is coming from

    i say things like that, but i didn’t used to. i used to say ‘masculine’ things to hide my vulnerable femininity.

    i would say, though, that you don’t HAVE to talk any way. but it would be a good start to talk in feelings when you’re in conflict with a man.

  29.  #29Tam on October 15, 2012 at 8:10 am

    27. Sigh, no it was just an example Starla, nevermind.
    No worries, yes I agree about the feeling messages.

  30.  #30Tam on October 15, 2012 at 8:13 am

    Saying ‘masculine’ things, do we mean by that just normal conversation without using feeling messages? because if we do, then I am totally lost. I feel frightened having to spend the rest of my life thinking about what I am going to say. Sometimes I just like to make conversation and not think/believe it is masculine or feminine…with anyone, men, women, children etc.

  31.  #31Starla on October 15, 2012 at 8:16 am

    tam, honestly, plenty of women don’t use feeling messages 100% of the time, and they have guys.

  32.  #32Heart on October 15, 2012 at 8:17 am

    Na na na na na na na โ™ฌ

  33.  #33Tam on October 15, 2012 at 8:17 am

    30…I know…ha!

  34.  #34Annie on October 15, 2012 at 8:18 am

    I don’t feel triggered by Siren Angel talking about marriage.

    For me I do want marriage but only with a man I want.
    I want to be sure I am not a for now girlfriend.
    I don’t want to invest my time love and get hormonally attached and bonded to someone who sees me as a for now girlfriend.
    I don’t want to put myself and my children at risk of committing my heart to man who does not want to commit to me and my children.
    And if it did go wrong and I had invested if I am married at least I know that financially I will entitled to half.
    If I just live with a man and he or I want out I am not protected like this.
    I want to protect myself and my children like this.
    Also if I am not married and he dies I then will not be legally protected like this and his family may contest anything he has left to me and my children.
    I really don’t want to leave myself open to all that stress and insecurity.

    I want to feel happy and secure and looked after.

  35.  #35sunshine on October 15, 2012 at 8:23 am

    I feel confused. I have been practicing “melting” and being with a particular guy. Hes sweet and affectionate, we work together for a band on sundays. He and I go together to the gig and eventually have started to cuddle, make out on the trip there. we also met up for lunch this past week. I feel really attracted to him but I also feel weary. He said he has a special need son in his home country. he smokes, drinks, no goals, etc. Hes not someone I would feel comfortable with in the long term. However, cant withold kissing the guy lol. i like being around him, but I feel suspicious. hes very affectionate all the time, even on this first date. he acts like hes “in love” with me. He has a dreamy look when he looks at me and hes constantly wanting to be affectionate. I like it to a certain point as well but have to stop. I dont feel like we have anything else in common besides the attraction. I dont know I feel suspicious Im sure sex crosses his mind like all men, but I question if hes interested in me or just feeling lonely. i question if Im just lonely too. blah I feel weird, confused, and a little dizzy.

  36.  #36Tam on October 15, 2012 at 8:24 am

    33, Annie I get that.
    What I like most about the idea of marriage would be a man who would be ‘prepared’ to marry me, go all the way basically and ‘forfeit’ other women.
    And the sense of belonging he would want to create with me, i e ‘claim me’.
    It’s not the paper, the ceremony or the ring or the formalities…even just a man saying (and meaning): ‘I want to marry you’ – that would actually make me feel very loved and secure.
    I like the ‘idea’, basically… ๐Ÿ™‚

  37.  #37sunshine on October 15, 2012 at 8:28 am

    i feel guilty for only wanting his attention however not really seeing him for more. I feel bad if hes feeling the same way. I wonder if we are “pg” using each other. I wonder if theres still something with the baby momma but he says there isnt. I feel convinced that there isnt but I still feel bad. he plans to have a life here in the us but has a special needs son back in his home country. I feel bad he doesnt want to be with his son:( i feel bad that hes not there for him. I dont like that hes not there for him. thats whats bothering me.

  38.  #38Annie on October 15, 2012 at 8:30 am

    11: “FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    Older men have a huge blind spot when it comes to age. They refuse to even consider women their own age, even if sheโ€™s fit and attractive. Worse, theyโ€™re hypocritical about it, because they donโ€™t understand why the vast majority of younger women wonโ€™t go for them.

    And yet, the fastest growing segment for online dating is the 50+ market. More unhappy couples are getting divorced when the kids leave the house. More people work from home. More people spend 10 hours a day at the office. More people have computers and are aware of someone who found love online”

    YUCK! I have met some of these men and I feel repulsed by them. Not one has been attractive to me in any way. One in particular is my Fathers age 65 and says he will not date a woman over 40 that they are too old. What that says to me is he is not interested in the woman and who she is so YUCK why on earth any woman would want that is beyond me. Yes they may be attracted to his money. Will his money by him real love though? ponders mmmmm?

  39.  #39Annie on October 15, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Me too Tam. ๐Ÿ™‚

  40.  #40Heart on October 15, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Sunshine – is that what’s really bothering you? Find the emotion underneath the bad feeling.

  41.  #41Heart on October 15, 2012 at 8:42 am

    i feel
    so hungry …

  42.  #42Dominique on October 15, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Tam – 10 – You are perfect in your imperfection. Try to let go of the notion around fault. It does not serve you. You do your best, feel your feelings, continue to blossom and grow. And things will unfold as they do. Try remaining open a curious to all possibility. No agenda.


  43.  #43Annie on October 15, 2012 at 8:47 am

    I need to process.
    I have obviously missed the message from someone who has turned up in my life.

    He is sweet to me.
    And has asked me out to dinner.
    I would not usually go out to dinner on a first date though as to me this is too long.
    I prefer short day time coffee date.

    I don’t find this man physically attractive to me and do not want to lead him on.
    I do not want to give him the wrong message or hurt his feelings.
    I feel myself wanting to avoid him now he has asked me out on a date but not confirmed it.
    I no longer want to give him eye contact and invite him in.

    I don’t want to be horrible.
    He is too sweet.
    What is the message why has he turned up.

    Why am I attracting this.


    Some other great connections this weekend, but nobody asking me out on a date, just this man, who I don’t want to date. ๐Ÿ™


    It is not to do with looks or age as I am attracted to some older men and even fat men.
    It’s his vibe.
    So why on earth am I attracting men who’s vibe I am not into.
    I find him easy to talk to, but would so not go there. He is not what I want.

  44.  #44Tam on October 15, 2012 at 8:49 am

    41..that feels ‘perfect’, Dominique!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  45.  #45Annie on October 15, 2012 at 8:52 am

    No I feel worried that I by being relaxed and leaned back and talking and responding to men that they believe I am giving them come on signs.


  46.  #46Anais on October 15, 2012 at 8:55 am

    I appreciate this post, am prone to being too nice and conflict avoidant more often than I’d like yet find it easy to be feisty with some people. I want to be that way with all men when need be. It’s a matter of getting it out of our heads of being afraid to offend someone with “bad” feelings. Baby steps, like Sassy said but sometimes it’s also timing. Not everything needs to be expressed all at once.

  47.  #47Heart on October 15, 2012 at 8:56 am

    #42 Annie – sometimes it’s good to date someone and explore the turned off ness…

    Remember the byron katie video – just make it about free coffee…I know that feels wrong but it’s funny and makes me view dating not so seriously.

  48.  #48Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:09 am

    I know what you mean Heart.

    I feel a bit sacred though as the last man who took me out on a date who I felt like this about after one date started acting like we were together.
    And other people though we were ‘going out, seeing each other’.

    I just don’t want to send him or anyone else that message.

    And I know he will be thinking that by what he said about the last woman he took out a few times on dates. And how his story went.

    I just don’t haven’t worked out what the message and the lesson is here.

    I really do not want to go, but do not know how to let him down gently without lying.

    I would rather have no dates with men , than go on a date with someone I have no physical or romantic interests towards.
    I felt happy to chat in a public social situation, but really have no interest seeing this man one to one.

  49.  #49Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:10 am

    It feels icky to me.

  50.  #50Radlove on October 15, 2012 at 9:10 am

    I’ve got the inner bi/tch mastered, lol.

  51.  #51Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:10 am

    And I want to feel good not icky.

  52.  #52Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Are you not willing to drop out of your rotation a man that feels icky to you?

  53.  #53Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 9:14 am

    My gut feeling is that this is not a match

  54.  #54Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 9:16 am

    I really like you but only enough to be friends.

  55.  #55Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Actually I now believe that he has turned up for me to practice saying no in a nice way.

    As I did not do that last time.

    I do not want a rinse and repeat with this man.
    I did that last time. I really did not want to go and went anyway, instead of trusting my gut.
    My gut and instinct are not ever wrong and are telling me no, not to go.

    I just do not know how to say thanks but no thanks eeek!

    I have no trouble speaking my mind usually.
    It feels difficult in a situation like this though.

    I feel anxious and shaky thinking about how to get out of it.

  56.  #56Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:17 am

    51: FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    “Are you not willing to drop out of your rotation a man that feels icky to you?”

    I haven’t dated him yet.

    Only chatted at public events.

  57.  #57sunshine on October 15, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Heart thanks for helping me…
    .I feel sad and uncomfortable when I think about an abandoned child. I dont like that! I feel sad to think of someone who abandons someone. I feel uncomfortable wondering if he is hiding information. i feel obligated to be kind to him because hes lonely like me. I dont like that hes an emotionally unstable person he said so himself that he has emotional ups and downs. I noticed hes very hyper and then hes really low in energy. He says he doesnt like to go to the gym because he doesnt like to be alone! I feel bad for him and thats where my affection is coming from. Atleast even though I have emotional ups and downs Im working on them i am going to a therapist, writing on the blog, and tapping into feelings more than ever before. I feel like he isnt someone who would bring me up I want someone whose positive, confident, and has something going for them. I feel bad for wanting this, like Im being “mean” for wanting what I want. I feel guilty for kissing him on the train because I dont want to lead him on. However Im still kissing him so I also feel selfish. I also feel hesitant because i dont want him to lead me on, but the guilt is even more powerful. I feel sad.

  58.  #58Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:23 am

    I do not want to date this man.
    And would not even have ever considered it before reading Rori’s stuff.

    I don’t want him as a friend either.
    Acquaintance is enough for me with this one.

    I feel sad that this is what I am attracting and inviting in ๐Ÿ™

    I don’t want to invite this is. And now I feel mean, as I believe he in lonely. And I feel sad for him. I don’t want to go deeper with this man.

  59.  #59Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 9:25 am

    About the certain age group men only wanting to date much younger women… I have not found this true at all. I have only had one CD that I met online as I usually don’t do online dating, but each of the men I’ve CD’d have been upper 40’s to mid 50’s and have all said they had NO problem with my age. (57). Even my 38 (woohoo was he fine) yr old CD told me age didn’t matter to him.

  60.  #60Heart on October 15, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Annie – hmm I feel curious about this…Seems like your attracting men who Can Do relationships.
    That’s great! But you’re not attracted to this guy and feel icky…and I get you…it’s torture to date a man you feel Icky about… I have Yet to date someone I feel repulsed by.

    Still – I believe it would help you to Explore the ickiness…I know I’m making the same point here and you’ve already said you want to feel good….
    But I sense that something mental & emotional is going on hre and it might be a good lesson to learn.

    They say we attract what we reflect….
    Maybe this man is reflecting something about yourself that you are repressing…
    Who knows…..He showed up.
    Just my 2 cents on the matter.

  61.  #61Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 9:29 am

    Here is my comment that went into moderation. Written in response to FW asking about feisty being considered the same as “biatchy”.

    No FW, to me, feisty is knowing and saying what you want in a playful, but meaningful spirit.
    Words, feelings, even the not so good ones, can be expressed without the bizitchiness attached.

  62.  #62Heart on October 15, 2012 at 9:29 am

    Sunshine – awesome! So you feel sad and guilty…
    Can you try to go deeper?
    I suggest you visualize one of the situation – the child or the train and keep sinking.

  63.  #63Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Just say thanks, but no thanks. No explaining. Maybe you are feeling lonely on some level and that is why he showed up on your radar?

  64.  #64sunshine on October 15, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I feel worried for myself. I feel worried because I dont want to miss out on love if its there, but I also feel worried that I will be lead on and hurt. I feel worried about being lead on and hurt because of his integrity issues. If he can reject his son and the mother of, then he can reject me too. I feel sad thinking he will reject me:( I feel guilty for thinking if it went somewhere that I would be contributing to his rejection of his son from his home country especially that his son has special needs. i dont like he is someone who doesnt have a commiting heart, I feel scared.

  65.  #65Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Not sure how asking me out means he is able to do a relationship heart.
    As he clearly stated that the last women he took out only a few times dumped him so he thought she was odd.

    Is 48 never been married, no previous long term girlfriends and has no job.

    So here we have a man I am not physically or romantically attracted to, with a history of no long term relationships and no job. Asking me out.
    I really do not want to go out on a date, lead him on when my gut is telling me no, just because I feel sorry that is lonely and wanting a girlfriend.

    He is not my man.
    It feels wrong and icky to me.

    I believe he has shown up for me to practice saying thanks but no thanks.

  66.  #66Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:43 am

    I do feel lonely at times Sassy. But more lonely in the wrong company for me than when I am alone.

  67.  #67Daria on October 15, 2012 at 9:43 am

    hehe i checked my online profile after not having checked it for like 10 days cuz i wanted to focus on being “here” and not waiting to go back to cali

    theres HElla messages from men yay

  68.  #68Daria on October 15, 2012 at 9:44 am

    im going back to cali in 2 days

  69.  #69sunshine on October 15, 2012 at 9:44 am

    He said he doesnt plan on moving back to that country and he says he is starting to feel bored in the United States and wants to travel to Canada. He said that on our first date. He said that he gets bored easily in his jobs and likes changes. I cant help but wonder if he feels that way about women. I wonder if hell be bored with me eventually I dont want to be hurt and I will feel angry if I am. My ears are tingling right now and my eyes are a little watery. i feel so uncomfortable thinking about this guy and angry that he seems selfish atleast with his past. I told him I barely know him yet and he said thats good because his past is now the past. Whats that supposed to mean? I didnt even mean that I just said I wanted to get to know him. Ugh what the f*** is he refering to? wtf is he hiding?!!

  70.  #70Heart on October 15, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Manboy has made a minor appearance on my FB. I had forgotten all about him.

    My inner Drill Instructor is bullying Lovesick Me. Awwr…She is going Full Metal Jacket on her! She’s wants to make her promise to never do that again!
    Lovesick Me wants to look out the window and dream. She feels pulled by the comfort zone of an imaginary relationship.

    I feel sorry for both of my girls. They both seem so afraid of getting hurt. I want to hug them.

  71.  #71Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:45 am

    I am now feeling anxious about when I next see him and saying no.

    I am now partly wanting to avoid going somewhere I enjoy so I don’t have to face him and say no.

  72.  #72Daria on October 15, 2012 at 9:46 am

    I would also do some babysteps to shift my belief about “leading men on” that is a big fun stopper for me

    or used to be… is it still?

    nope lol yay!

    i’m not leading men on, im sharing my Gift of time and learning to tell the truth weeeeeeee

    high 5 D

  73.  #73Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 9:46 am

    I also feel worried that I will be lead on and hurt – how about turning this around to trusting and believing in yourself? You won’t willingly throw yourself under a bus, now would you?

  74.  #74Daria on October 15, 2012 at 9:48 am

    i am a Gift

    men are strong

    thres no ‘obligation’ for me



    i get triggered when dates get more special

    it works when i have lots of special fancy dates so then i dont feel unworthy or obligated when the guy has done the most fancy romantic expensive thing for me, well i do but i mean… i Wouldn’t if this happened to me all the time


    haha and about fake it till u make it lol i kinda am aware that when i practice a new boundary it might come out with anxiety and the ‘results’ might not be optimum

    but with more practice that drops away

  75.  #75Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 9:48 am

    It’s best to leave the past behind and live in the moment.

  76.  #76Daria on October 15, 2012 at 9:49 am

    i am a fern!

  77.  #77Daria on October 15, 2012 at 9:52 am

    I feel icky in my tummy posting and annoyed reading. even my eye twitched

    ๐Ÿ™‚ yayyy i can feell


    i love my voice and my words

    i feel annoyed how i keep noticing stuff in the world that i feel ‘defeated’ and ‘hopeless’ with


  78.  #78Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 9:53 am

    I really expect that the man I date be honest with me about where he’s at otherwise I am not interested. I don’t take men seriously who are not honest.

  79.  #79Heart on October 15, 2012 at 9:55 am

    Annie – I interpreted you being afraid of hurting his feelings and of him being toooo into you as a sign that he was Very Interested in You …also you mentioned the last guy you dated acting like you were already a couple…
    So they both came across as Commitment-friendly kind of men.
    You know whats best.
    But…I sense that you already Know How to Say No Very Well…so I doubt that it’s a lesson you need to learn…Maybe he showed up to help you practice saying Yes…
    Maybe not…

    Good luck.

  80.  #80Starla on October 15, 2012 at 9:55 am

    i feel all scared and weird

    i’m not going to buy a fancy car

    i’m going to buy an economy car

  81.  #81Starbright on October 15, 2012 at 9:56 am


    It sounds like you have found the piece to work on and I so identify with what you are saying.

    I found myself having trouble a couple of months ago having very unwanted men hanging onto me when I was out dancing. They were monopolizing me so that other men were not able to dance with me.

    What I decided was it was a place for me to practice staying open and yet having my boundaries. I don’t have to be monopolized by men that make me feel icky when I’m out. I can take care of myself while still staying open to others.

    And, it is not being mean to them it’s all how I speak my truth and my feelings with kindness. What person would truly want to be with someone who finds them icky?

  82.  #82Starla on October 15, 2012 at 9:57 am

    i’m going to buy an old economy car and in a few years i will be getting myself a BRAND NEW car

  83.  #83Annie on October 15, 2012 at 9:57 am

    FW73: “FemininewomanNo Gravatar says:

    I also feel worried that I will be lead on and hurt โ€“ how about turning this around to trusting and believing in yourself? You wonโ€™t willingly throw yourself under a bus, now would you?”

    Was that for me?

    This resonates TY.
    Yes you are correct I feel terrified that Once I give myself to someone and fall for them that they will have the power to break my heart.

    And the irony and parody hear. It feels difficult to say no to men who I don’t want to date and easier to refuse men who I am attracted to do and do want to date.
    Why because the men I don’t want to date will not be able to break my heart.

    I want to heal from this.

    I want a man who I am attracted to physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually but who will care for my heart and not want to ever break it.
    Surely I deserve that.
    I want it all.
    I do not want to settle for anything less.
    And just say oh well this will have to do as it all I am being offered.

  84.  #84Starla on October 15, 2012 at 9:59 am

    actually, in a year i will have 7500 cash saved up in my banK:)

  85.  #85Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:00 am

    “brought down”


    “frustrated again”

    “never gonna get ”


    i love my feelings


  86.  #86Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:03 am

    ‘i feel uncomfortable when a man’s long term goals don’t align to mine

    but i also don’t think i could ever find a man whose do

    i don’t ‘get it’

    also i don’t think men around me, here or in cali, will be financially … umm life wise … able to pursue me

    they won’t be able to leave where they’re at and just follow me around the world

    i jsut don’t see that

  87.  #87Tam on October 15, 2012 at 10:04 am

    58’s not you attracting it, it’s what’s out there. Believe me. If I was to tell you the kind of stuff (good and bad) I attracted in the last couple of weeks. Don’ let that get you down.
    I had a guy in tears and a gibbering wreck over our first dinner out, recounting his first ever relationship 20 years ago.
    I had two guys standing me up.
    I had Mr you know who (who lives 35 Miles away) right down the street being to obstinate to pick me up.
    But I also had a couple of really nice dates with a nice man, who unfortunately, is not my type in many ways.
    Just keep calm and carry on.
    I get frustrated, and stop…and pick myself up, dust myself off and ‘start all over again’..

  88.  #88Starla on October 15, 2012 at 10:04 am

    and on top of that i will be buying myself a brand new, beautiful car in a few years.

    and i will be working for myself

    and it’s going to be amazing.

    my life is full of promise

  89.  #89Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:04 am


    i don’t know how to approach this

    i want some rori assistance

  90.  #90Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:05 am

    well something good is i was taking baby steps to getting my sexual needs met while i was in cali

  91.  #91Tam on October 15, 2012 at 10:07 am

    I don’t want to settle for less either…I thought about it…there are nice men that I do not feel physically attracted to. But I can’t do that. I want it all. All or nothing. My standards are not impossibly high, they are ‘me’. I can’t be with a man and still check out other guys because I don’t ‘feel it’ for him.
    I want to be loyal and not hankering after something else….that would be another short term relationship. I am so done with ‘settling’.

  92.  #92Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:08 am

    i feel down sayding that thinking i feel guilty that i seem to have not satisfied them as much lately

    i could have done the chi gung movmeent but i didn’t

    i was feeling concerned it would delay my blood time more

    now i feel sad

    its ok D


    i feel all sad and hmmmmh

    i feel good too and welll loved and taken care of in some ways

  93.  #93Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 10:08 am

    All or nothing – A mentality that CCarter suggests that get women into trouble.

  94.  #94Starla on October 15, 2012 at 10:11 am

    i miss warrior

    i do appreciate him for who he is

    just as the object of his desire, i don’t feel so good.

  95.  #95ruth on October 15, 2012 at 10:11 am

    4 Sassy

    thank you
    This is what I am going to have to do
    My feeling mesages at the moment come out all wrong
    they cause anger and friction
    So I think I will feel the feelings, say them to myself or write them down
    Not able to share them-yet

  96.  #96Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Feeling “pouty” and a bit off today & have been taking it out on my poor online CDs.. That has scared most of them off today, it seems.

    Thay ask (quite nicely) “How are you today?” and Iยดm just irritated, thinking :” Where were you & why were you not calling me this weekend to ask me out?!”…and saying ” I feel all bored with this kind of conversations.”

  97.  #97Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:11 am

    ‘im feelng a lil ‘depressed’ cuz i didn’t take a walk today ๐Ÿ™ ”

    i don’t want to take a walk right now in the dark tho

  98.  #98Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:12 am

    well i do but i dont want to change my clothes….hmmm

  99.  #99Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 10:12 am

    The act of comparing the ideal and reality and subsequently seeing how far ahead the ideal is to where they are is ultimately what drains and frustrates women. What’s created is an emotional gap between the woman’s ideals and the man’s ideals.


  100.  #100Starla on October 15, 2012 at 10:15 am

    and he said he would be willing to ‘change’ but that it wouldn’t be ‘easy’ for us

    and i dunno, i wish this man would just make changes on his own, and approach me and romance me and show up with flowers and say ‘this is a start’ and then show up the next weekend with some other sweet start, and so on and so forth..

    i wish he would WIN ME OVER

    not ask me to ‘agree’ to see if things change.

    does that make sense, ladies?

  101.  #101Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:15 am

    oh wow i feel a bit better

    i jsut did this ‘running in place thing” and i already feel better

    im gonna do more of it in a bit and see how good i feel

  102.  #102ruth on October 15, 2012 at 10:15 am

    26 Tam

    I hear you!!!!!!!


  103.  #103Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 10:16 am

    I can’t stop thinking about that stupid hug! It was a great hug. The kind where you disappear into him and are fully enclosed. and then he has to go and bury his head into my shoulder.

    it felt like he was trying to tell me something. like he didn’t want to leave me.

    why is this bothering me so much?

    he is perfectly capable of making his own decisions.

  104.  #104Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:17 am

    i want to know that if im ever locked up i will live and be healthy and not get sick from not getting a walk and movement

    so i feel glda to hav this

    this is my process of thinking
    i dont want to get imprisoned in a small place


    D i love you

    we are healing

  105.  #105Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:18 am

    on one hand i want to do some practices to protect myself if im ever phsyically attacked, on the other hand i feel concerned that doing that will attract attacks, or rather maybe even worse attacks that i didn’t pre-empt/ can;t control

    i feel confuse

    somehow i don’t think so and then again… smh i ffeel confused

  106.  #106Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 10:18 am

    what is “running in place thing” Daria? Just literally…running in place? I should do some of it. Actually…feeling quite the same about needing to take a walk, but donยดt want to go out with how it is today…cold & windy, and having my period pains too..

  107.  #107Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Creating an ideal situation with a man in your mind is a common and relatively natural thing for a woman to do. In fact, it can be healthy; it can motivate you, inspire you, and even inspire your future goals. These are great uses of ideals.

    But when you compare your ideals to your relationship, and your life, it’s often impossible to be happy about what you see. It’s like trying to live a fantasy.

    It’s worth pointing out that men do the same thing. Like those pathetic guys who seem to always be in search of the bigger, better deal, even if they have a great woman.


  108.  #108Tam on October 15, 2012 at 10:19 am

    93…FW, trust me, I have got myself into more trouble putting up with things that seemed less than ideal from the outset.
    I now trust my feelings enough to know when something is off rather than plough through it hoping for it to change.
    Men still in love with ex wives etc.
    I unashamedly want it all. What is the point of having a relationship and being unhappy?
    Just to give some man a chance?
    The men I met so far are no challenge intellectually for me, not even close and I am also not attracted to them. So yes, I can use them for practice and be bored witless, or I can go to the gym and hone my body, go for nice walks and chat to lots of people…that’s the way I look at it.
    Maybe CC was thinking about people who want to be ina relationship for any price? I want to be in the right one though.
    I don’t demand perfectness from a man at all – but he has to be for me, that’s all. If I cringe when I have to kiss him, or I feel totally bored at attempts to make conversation – he is not for me.

  109.  #109Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Starla – yes

  110.  #110Olympia on October 15, 2012 at 10:19 am

    I need to be able to practice expressing negative emotions better.

    Things with LLcd have been so good that almost all of my FMs have been positive, I’ve been so full of happiness over the past couple months I can’t stop smiling.

    He does like to make plans at the last minute though, and it would feel better to know in advance what I’ll be doing during the week/on the weekends.

    I feel determined to lean back this week, even if it means we won’t see each other. That makes me feel anxious though because I do want to be around him. He has a big project due on Wednesday and I would love to celebrate it being over with drinks with him that night, but I don’t want to ask him out, it makes me feel like I am chasing him.

    I really like the idea of “be surprised” because when he does finally ask me out, I get the good feelings from being surprised after giving up control of seeing each other or not.

    I am thinking about this feeling message the next time he asks me out with little notice:
    “It feels so great to be asked out by you because it feels wonderful spending time together. I don’t want to make plans with someone at the last minute though because it can be stressful balancing my time right now with work and class. It would feel so delicious to plan things 4 or 5 days in advance to let the anticipation build up. What do you think?”

    Thanks for the input, sirens!

  111.  #111Starla on October 15, 2012 at 10:19 am

    i’ve also been here before with MyGuy, and i knew i handled it all wrong by giving into the ‘give me another chance’ thing. these guys who are on the immature side want you to give them guarantees up front before they attempt to win you over.

    i am going to stick to my guns and say no to Warrior. and ohhh that would be so nice if he did end up ‘winning me over’

    but for the last 3 months he’s unfortunately ‘lost me’

    it’s not something that changes over night

  112.  #112Tam on October 15, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Thanks Ruth!! And no, I am not feeling pink and squishy still..haha..more like sandy and salty ๐Ÿ˜‰

  113.  #113Starla on October 15, 2012 at 10:24 am

    i’m a big fan of Tam ๐Ÿ™‚ she is hilarious

  114.  #114Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:24 am

    Ulii – hmm not exactly

    well the first part is a jog in place where you land on each ball of foot then heel. 16 times

    the thing is the spine is stretched and the arms are out stretched all the way in an inverted V. the fingers are widespread too so the arms are tensed out

    then the second part is get legs wider apart (arms the same) and then theres a side to side hop from one leg to the other (still landing ball heel) 16 times

    then repeat. ๐Ÿ™‚ and do it all like 8 times.

    and at the end keep upper body straight and hop with kness together turning knees side to side like skiing. but the upper body stays straight. arms bend in and out like skiing.

  115.  #115Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:25 am

    i feel sandy and salty!

    wow cool!

    i feel hot air balloon heady

  116.  #116Tam on October 15, 2012 at 10:25 am

    113 Thank you kindly Miss Starla! ๐Ÿ™‚

  117.  #117Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:26 am

    oh yeah theres only 16 ski movements after the 8 repetition of 16 jogs, 16 side to side hops

  118.  #118Starla on October 15, 2012 at 10:27 am

    I feel otherworldly and like I am connected energetically to my spaceship/time machine, just observing the humans

    i’m so weird

    i love me

  119.  #119Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Love love love love love love

    I feel determined to be a force for light and love and positivity.

    I feel determined to uplift myself and have a great day today.

    I feel motivated and excited to choose the thoughts that feels good.

    I feel love for myself enough to not listen to my nasty voices.

    I feel free to choose what I dwell on.

    I feel uplifted and free.

    I am turning my attention to things that bring me joy and passion!!!

    I am following my bliss.

    Today is a gift and I will not spend it dwelling in the muck.

    I am lifting myself up!!!!!!

    And it feels amazing.

  120.  #120Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:28 am

    “โ€œIt feels so great to be asked out by you because it feels wonderful spending time together. I donโ€™t want to make plans with someone at the last minute though because it can be stressful balancing my time right now with work and class. It would feel so delicious to plan things 4 or 5 days in advance to let the anticipation build up. What do you think?โ€

    yay! tweaking this for myself

    “oh babe it feels so good to be asked out… it feels really great spending time togheter… and now im realizing actually i dont want to make plans at the last minute cuz it feels a lil stresfful scheduling for me… it would feel yummy to plan 2 or 3 days in advance and let the anticipation build up.. .what do you think?”

  121.  #121Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 10:29 am

    I choosing me!!!

    Not my fears, negative thoughts, bad habits and patterns of thinking.

    I am choosing me, life, love!

  122.  #122Heart on October 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Olympia – Hi…Being vulnerable is really scary. If you practice alot here and in real life it will Feel So Good like omg…like your insides are made of the cosmos
    or sumting

    But…first you need to really start knowing yourself so that You can know what your really feeling. It’s ok if you can’t express it to a man yet…once you can express it to yourself …your halfway there.

    I sense that you want him to make plans in advance because you want to feel special, adored and cared for?
    Is it really because it’s stressful?

  123.  #123Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 10:32 am


  124.  #124Heart on October 15, 2012 at 10:33 am

    ps i know the difference between your and you’re…its just easier to write your somtimes…LOL.

  125.  #125Heart on October 15, 2012 at 10:34 am

    somtimes…im writing from my phone…

  126.  #126Heart on October 15, 2012 at 10:35 am

    oh god i did it Again….

    there ๐Ÿ™‚

  127.  #127Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 10:36 am

    โ€œIt feels so great to be asked out because it feels wonderful spending time together. I am happy to see you and you know what would make me even more happy? If we could plan things 4 or 5 days in advance to let the anticipation build up. I feel crummy and anxious when I am waiting for someone to confirm at the last minue. I don’t like waiting. What do you think would be the best way to handle this?”

  128.  #128Starla on October 15, 2012 at 10:37 am

    i always feel weird when i see sirens correcting their typos even though we can understand what theyre saying. if it still makes sense, then why correct it?

    oyyyyyyy i feel so triggered

    and i used to be like ‘them’ but then i got a degree in linguistics and decided that as long as you are understood, that’s what matters!

  129.  #129Heart on October 15, 2012 at 10:40 am

    feels uncomfortable
    feels chastised

  130.  #130Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 10:41 am

    @ 114 Daria

    Thanks!! Iยดll try that :).. letยดs see if it gets me to a better mood today.

  131.  #131Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 10:41 am

    My little girl wants to have fun today. I want to feel grateful for all of the blessings in my life.

    I want to play and laugh and appreciate every moment.

    I want to dance and radiate beauty.

  132.  #132Heart on October 15, 2012 at 10:44 am

    my little girl is glaring and saying: It’s my party and I can correct my typos if I want to!
    Leave me alone!

  133.  #133Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 10:44 am

    “It’s your choice to give emotional meaning and significance to another person’s actions and it’s your choice to feel how you want to respond”.


  134.  #134ruth on October 15, 2012 at 10:45 am

    103 Llama

    Maybe he had a big rush of emotion thinking about his marraige and the fact that he is no longer single and you felt that

  135.  #135Daria on October 15, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Ulii – yah i remember it really raised my heart rate and felt great… in order for it to not be boring, i do two repetitions (jog, side hop, jog, sidehop) facing one way, then turn 90 degrees do 2 reps there, turn another 90 2 reps there all the way around. ๐Ÿ™‚

    i got it from T-tapp one of the movements on the DVD i bought they call it “jog rocks”

  136.  #136Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Martial arts technique – take the energy that’s coming at you and use it to your advantage.

  137.  #137ruth on October 15, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Starla, gosh I agree!

    it all about being understood

  138.  #138ruth on October 15, 2012 at 10:49 am

    I *do* feel pink and squishy but right now this is NOT a good thing

    I *hate* post marathon low

  139.  #139Olympia on October 15, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Thanks for the good suggestions.

    Heart, you are very insightful….it is less about the stress of scheduling and more about wanting to feel special.

    Over the past 2 months of seeing each other, he tells me how special I am, and how much he likes making me happy, and things like that. But to me, the action of wanting to go out with me so much that he can’t wait to plan the next time we see each other would make me feel so much more special than the words of saying it!

    @119 Laughing Goddess, your affirmations make me feel good! I love posts like that!

  140.  #140Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 10:50 am

    PhotoCD is asking me out bowling & then after to dinner & is saying I can stay with him to not have to hurry back by the last train (he lives in another town 50 min away by train/bus).. The dynamic has been me going to that town as I also have other (female) friends there Iยดm visiting & staying with sometimes.

    I feel a bit bored & not like making an effort to go to see him. Although I donยดt mind seeing him if itยดs in connection to go to see other friends there and then also him. At the end…what we have with PhotoCD is only friends relationship, although he wants more. I was trying to be open to it & also considering letting him be my lover, but..Iยดm not that attracted to him at the end. And feeling being unfair to him if I demand proper “dating behaviour” as I already know I am not that interested.

  141.  #141Smile on October 15, 2012 at 10:51 am

    @76- I wonder if Daria knows the difference between a fern and a bracken?

    I love my dad teaching me to love the outdoors and the English countryside. He also taught me to love the ridiculous! My dads such fun!
    ((my dad)) ((nature)) ((fun and silliness))

  142.  #142Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Olympia does that mean you want to make him responsible for you feeling special?

  143.  #143Smile on October 15, 2012 at 10:52 am

    Hi Ruth, have you finished your glass of wine yet! Lol

    Missed you, hope you had fun running ๎—

  144.  #144Annie on October 15, 2012 at 10:52 am

    Heart. “So they both came across as Commitment-friendly kind of men.”

    The last didn’t offer me any kind of committing was just acting like I exclusively belonged to him after one date without the commitment. He banged into another man deliberately whilst looking daggers at me who all I was doing was talking too.
    Acted like he owned me after one date.
    Not really I would call commitment friendly. I would hardly want to commit to someone after one date, or want them to commit to me. We didn’t even know each other.
    Was joke as he actually said he wanted to get to know me better but behaved like that.

  145.  #145Smile on October 15, 2012 at 10:54 am

    I love my brain. It’s working for me at last!

    Whose that good looking guy you drove past?? Oo another man! Hm maybe strummingman isn’t my one??? I’m feeling more open to other men. Babysteps.

    I am the yummy pie!!

  146.  #146Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Things I feel grateful for…

    I love that I am sitting on my deck in my hammock chair with the sun shining brightly on me.

    I love that the loyalty that my little boy dog has for me. He is seriously my best friend and companion.

    I love that my handsome sweetie will be home soon. I love that he is so loyal and always comes home to me.

    I love that we are starting a family!!!

    I love that we both have healthy families and strong genes.

    I love that my little girl dog just ran up and she is so freaking cute.

    I love my past and the strong little girl that I was. Even in the darkest moments I believed in myself.

    I love this thick piece of zucchini bread I am nourishing myself with.

    I love my beautiful smile.

  147.  #147Smile on October 15, 2012 at 10:57 am

    I want to go skiing! I want to feel the peacefulness as I sit on the chairlifts and take in the surrounding beauty. Calm and peace.Yes please.

  148.  #148Tam on October 15, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Smile, I am intrigued to learn about ‘fern’ and ‘bracken’ because although I am super tuned into nature, I do NOT know the difference.. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  149.  #149ruth on October 15, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Hi smile

    well now, *fun* was not the right word about the run, I suffered all the way round(why do i do it LOL)

    I got some awesome pics in the tunnel though

    Right , well, I feel *so* much better now I have decided to keep the FM to myself for a while.Speak them to myself.Maybe let the odd one out to a stanger(work colleagues would think I had lost the plot if i started talking like that)

    then, when more comfy, re-introduce them to man
    I have been too impatient

  150.  #150Starla on October 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

    heart, ohhh i don’t blame you for feeling that way, i’m sorry!

  151.  #151ruth on October 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

    I LOVE bracken and its crunchiness

  152.  #152Smile on October 15, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Laughing goddess!! I want a hammock! That would feel fun!

    I’m gonna get me a hammock. Where would you put it? I don’t care, I’d replace my bed to have a hammock!!

  153.  #153ruth on October 15, 2012 at 10:59 am


    That feel yummy to read

    Esp the zucchini bread(but I feel hungry)

  154.  #154Starla on October 15, 2012 at 11:00 am

    heart, i really kind of mean it like ‘you are wonderful even with typos, so don’t bother correcting them’

    hmmm don’t want to keep triggering anyone!

    so i send mucho love and i won’t worry about this anymore:)

  155.  #155Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Smile: it’s pretty awesome! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Olympia: Yay! I like them too. I love that I get to choose my focus. ๐Ÿ™‚

  156.  #156Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:02 am

    Ruth: ๐Ÿ™‚

    Hope you can get yourself some yummies soon.

  157.  #157ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:05 am

    On mondays , after a marathon I also have to get up at 4.30 to drive to the place of work so I often dont eat or just have a bit of bread in the evening

    yes, maybe tonight I will cook some nice food and try not to feel guilty about eating it

    thank you

  158.  #158April Rose on October 15, 2012 at 11:07 am



  159.  #159April Rose on October 15, 2012 at 11:09 am

    I love this post.

    That bit about retaining yourself in a relationship felt like being shook by the shoulders!

  160.  #160Heart on October 15, 2012 at 11:09 am

    #154 Starla – Aawwwwwwwwr :)…I feel good now.

  161.  #161ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:09 am

    April Rose!

  162.  #162Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Okay, in it’s simplest explaination bracken is more like a single stem and a fern is a bit bushier. I’m such an amazing teacher! Actually I’m ‘outstanding’ nice to meet you ๎‘‡

    I love walks in the countryside!

  163.  #163ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Smile, I guess you have been Ofsteded

  164.  #164Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:14 am

    hmm my guess is bracken is like a prickly type bush that bush fences are made from

  165.  #165Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:15 am

    nope… ๐Ÿ™‚ not according to wikipedia… theyre plants tthat look like fern

  166.  #166Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:17 am

    according to what im reading bracken are a type of large fern

  167.  #167Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 11:18 am

    And what I really have been feeling all this weekend is a overwhelming big sadness & jealousy over my ex M. Like all this time that has passed & all this cd-ing I have been doing many months now, has not got me to much better place emotionally that just after our breakup.

    We broke our 6 years realtionship off already last summer, although it was not yet fully defined until May of this year. And now he told me he has been seeing somebody else already since spring.

    I feel really bad about it. Although I could guess this had happened, but wasnยดt sure without hearing it from him.

    The crazy thing is…I am staying with his parents right now. And he is totally fine with it, even said he doesnยดt want me to leave…as he couldnยดt stand losing me from his life completely. And seems the other woman is really jealous about me (I would be too, in her situation). I canยดt really afford to leave before finding any job & my exยดs mother is a really good friend to me above everything, so she also insist Iยดd stay here.

    I feel so confused.

  168.  #168Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:18 am

    Ruth: oh sweetie, I would think that you would have to eat a ton after running like that. If I was there, I would share my zucchini bread with you.

  169.  #169Tam on October 15, 2012 at 11:18 am

    Thank you, ‘outstanding’ Smile ๐Ÿ™‚

  170.  #170Tam on October 15, 2012 at 11:19 am

    You are the yummy fern…or bracken…ermm

  171.  #171Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:19 am

    166 Daria, this is true!! That’s why it’s so hard to tell lol.

    I feel giggly ๎—

  172.  #172Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Another thing I feel grateful for is this lotus flower drawing on my socks. I feel inspired by its beauty!

  173.  #173Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Is it bad I just went to the bathroom at work to catch up on the blog? Lol

  174.  #174Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Goddess Lily where else do you judge yourself as bad?

  175.  #175Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Thanks smile. I love learning new things. You are an excellent teacher!

    Bracken bracken bracken…commiting it to my memory

  176.  #176Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Ruth, this is true!
    I feel like I can ‘boast’ on here. It’s never talked about with my friends. I’m raising my self esteem telling you all! Yey!

  177.  #177ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:22 am


    I can run 50 plus miles per week and i dont lose weight

    I do love my food though and i love to cook

    not been doing so much of that lately

    I thinkk of ferns as green and brackens as brown crunchy things

  178.  #178Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:22 am

    i have been considering aikido and do what feminine woman says to use the energy coming toward me without harming my oponent

    this is cuz i saw aikido as more ‘sissy’ and thought its a good idea for me to branch out in a diff way than im usually drawn to, cuz i was thinking more of the violent beat the guy down type of fighting

    and i don’t want to do that anymore, at least choice wise, even though sometimes i do


    im listening to this audio book The Origins of War in Child Abuse and seeing connections with how a lot of my behavior and others’ too en masse has roots in childhood stuff

  179.  #179Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 11:23 am

    FW that would be a long answer but this time I was joking. I’ve actually been busy all day. I deserved a break. ๐Ÿ™‚

  180.  #180MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Yay a song from my wedding is on the radio and I am happy and singing along!

    Bye bye trigger ๐Ÿ™‚

    mmmmmmore than a feeling!

  181.  #181Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Tam, too funny 170!!

    I am the yummy bracken!!! I love The twirly bits! Reminds me of how fun I feel when I curl my hair!!

  182.  #182ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Well now Smile

    An Ofsted Outstanding is something to be trumpeted for the very rooftops!

  183.  #183Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:24 am

    I think we had bracken in Hawaii. I used to make beautiful flower arrangements with them and other things, of course. I used to walk around and pick all sorts of flowers and goodies and then get paid to make flower arrangements. What a treat!

    Awww, I love Hawaii, flowers, and all my exciting past life experiences. I also love all of the exciting ones to come.

    I am a blossoming flower.

  184.  #184ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Goddess Lily-tee hee
    Thats bad

    You may have to develop a weak bladder LOL

  185.  #185Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:25 am

    He he thanks laughing goddess! I’m sure you feel ‘complete’ knowing this information lol ๎—

  186.  #186MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 11:25 am

    This is the song we chose to enter our reception. Used to be a big trigger song for me and I felt sad because I love this song! Now I feel happy amd light and ๐Ÿ™‚ ey!

  187.  #187MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 11:25 am

    And wow! The lyrics are taking on a whole mew meaning lol

  188.  #188Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:27 am

    My dad would feel so proud of me spreading his teachings! He he ๎—

  189.  #189Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:27 am

    Ruth: you are amazing!

  190.  #190Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Thanks ruth! And thankyou for the word ‘trumpeted’ he he love that one. Too giggly tonight.

    Oo just saw your comment on tunnels! Reminds me of the time I got lost on the way to the Wirral lol. Did you run through them, was that the route?

  191.  #191ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Smile we ran through the birkenhead tunnel for two miles
    was awesome

  192.  #192ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:33 am


    thank you
    I feel a little tearful though

    My NV tell me I am anything but amazing

    But thank you

  193.  #193ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:34 am

    ooooh, tears

    Lots of them
    Bit good ones

    thank you ladies

  194.  #194Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Starla: I agree with your mechanic friend. Can’t go wrong with a manual civic. I LOVE sticks. I actually went out of my way to find a stick when I got my last car. They only made a very small proportion of the model I wanted in manual trans so I really had to look but it was worth it to me. The control and get up and go is so worth it and it’s really easy to learn.

  195.  #195Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Ruth: Your nv’s are cray. I don’t even know you that well and I can tell you are amazing. I’m pretty sure everyone else here would agree. Big hugs (((Ruth)))

  196.  #196Heart on October 15, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Annie – Oh. I see. I now know more of the story.

    but Annie – hmmm your vibe seems a bit hostile and angry when describing the men/ in general. Is there something more to this? Are you angry with men?
    (This is the internet and I could be wrong…I don’t feel anger towards men but maybe I do subconsciously and I’m projecting my issues unto you….or maybe I’m just reading the situation correctly or both. So please don’t be offended)

  197.  #197ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:39 am

    I started driving 5 years ago at the tender age of 42
    I had passed a tedt a good 15 years before

    Id nver do an automatic,want to feel in control, so sticks all the way

  198.  #198Tam on October 15, 2012 at 11:40 am

    ((((Ruth))) Absolutely amazing, running a marathon every weekend is very amazing…and a little crazy (in a good way).
    And you do look so cute in *that* wine glass pic. Like a pixie ๐Ÿ™‚

  199.  #199Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Amazing ruth,

    Thank you for sharing your pics!
    You are an inspiration! If it wasn’t dark I’d feel like going for a run now. And to get up at 4.30 the next day… Well that says it all! THEN you go saving all those livers and caring for people!!! I just trumpeted that from the roof tops!!!

  200.  #200Tam on October 15, 2012 at 11:42 am

    199 – I’ll be trumping off the rooftops in Florida now…for Ruth – and Smile ๐Ÿ˜‰

  201.  #201Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:43 am

    im in the habit of searching for someone or a group to ‘dedicate my life to’

    i want to dedicate my life to myself but that feels so BORING!!!

    the things i want from me are things i don’t want to do ugh

    like lots of specific movement and…

    i dono i just feel drained thinking about living with me forever

    i coudl find some friends for me

    i don’t know how to do that! booring

    i coudl make sure me is always dressed in a way that feels sacred and sexy and

    I feel eye rolling or looking away

    that feels so draining!

    i don’t want to do that for me!


    soo ooooo annoyinggggg!!!!!

  202.  #202Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Ruth: oh ya, I agree. Love them!

    I feel so admiring of people who can run. I always get a stitch in my side. Do you think it’s possible that some people’s bodies just aren’t built to run? I’m in shape and athletic in other ways. I have a fantasy of being a runner. Do you think it’s possible to start at the age of 40?

  203.  #203ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:44 am

    I am being a silly cow, I know

    But those NV sing in evil choirs in my head, the sods

    Now, it *is* dark but i havent run today so I still have to

    thank you ladies, lovely people

  204.  #204Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:46 am

    what do i want to do for those other people?

    well right now i dont want to do anything for them as i dont trust that anymore

    but i waould want to encourage them that they can have what they want and also to create happy lives doing what they love and being with and connecting with their children and having great relationships

    and i would want them to have nice clothes yes

    i feel all this anger again i want to not pay attention to this anymore

  205.  #205Tam on October 15, 2012 at 11:48 am

    ..trumpeting even…

  206.  #206ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:48 am

    LG,I started at age 38(im 47 now)
    I am not fast at all
    This is why I am known as the plodding hippo
    Maybe you are running too fast to start
    run one min, walk one min
    me at my first marathon
    Not slim

    ANYONE can run if they want to.It is what we were born to does not have to be fast

  207.  #207ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:49 am

    oops I am in moderation for using the e word

  208.  #208Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Tam, I’m crying so hard with laughter!!

  209.  #209Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:52 am

    i just got triggered again! ohhh judgeemtn tand lost of whats probably rage boxed up clean sided

  210.  #210Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:54 am

    and again

    dear life. i keep getting triggered and triggered. i know you are on my side an dlove me. and this feels frazzling and frustrating and overhwhelming. what do you think?

  211.  #211Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:54 am


    Were you effin’ Ruth?

  212.  #212Daria on October 15, 2012 at 11:56 am

    so sad!

    and actually i feel flat in front of my face

  213.  #213Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:57 am

    I love laughing
    It makes me feel light
    It makes me feel elated
    I feel sad for people who don’t have laughter in their lives
    Laughter is free medicine as the saying goes

  214.  #214Tam on October 15, 2012 at 11:58 am

    the e-word?
    now I am laughing too….eeeek?

  215.  #215ruth on October 15, 2012 at 11:59 am


    I said e–v–i–l

  216.  #216Daria on October 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    the thought is, im not getting touched enough

    not enough ‘physical manipulation’ of me

    in the future, i can remedy that by really committing to finding a masseuse and getting weekly massages in times when men are less frequently getting close to me (so i can co-opt massages from them lol)

  217.  #217Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    What is the e-word? I can’t even imagine. Haha!

  218.  #218ruth on October 15, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    I bet you laffed at *trump*

    tee heee

  219.  #219Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Ooooh, I see. ๐Ÿ™‚

  220.  #220Smile on October 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Ruth, gosh!

  221.  #221ruth on October 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Know what yo mean Daria

    touch is so important

    not been doing enough of it at work, but I feel so disconnected

  222.  #222Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    That’s a moderation word?

  223.  #223Smile on October 15, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Ruth, yeh thinking of tam trumping on rooftops in Florida for us has literally creased me over double.laughter tears!

  224.  #224Heart on October 15, 2012 at 12:03 pm


  225.  #225Daria on October 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    i asked my mom and she said her hands are feeling weak and i notice i instantly felt a bit resentful as in “well i did all this stuff for her earlier like get her tea and ish even though i was feeling ill as well”


    i feel a bit numb

    this is ok im healing

    i love my noticing

    i love ME!

  226.  #226Heart on October 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    omg ….it really is a moderated word…lol!

  227.  #227Starla on October 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    i want to text warrior and tell him good luck at his first day at his new job

    also i am getting him a bday present that he is gonna love (a bath robe in the theme of his favorite super hero)

    i really do want to be friends.

  228.  #228Smile on October 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm


    I dint even like having my head massaged when they wash my hair at the hair dressers. I only like people to touch me who I know or in a romantic sense. I love cuddles.

  229.  #229Heart on October 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm


  230.  #230Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    Testing…testing…1, 2, evil

  231.  #231Smile on October 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    Not quite a massage but here’s a virtual hug Daria


  232.  #232Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    I just tested it. That’s the first I’ve ever seen of moderation. Interesting.

  233.  #233Smile on October 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    I’m going to give blood!

    It would feel great to ‘give’ in this way.

  234.  #234Tam on October 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Oi girls, stop it….my keyboard is temperamental, ok?! Some keys are kind of stuck, sometimes the ‘e’ and sometimes the ‘g’…. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  235.  #235Smile on October 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    I’m now giggling that Rori is going to have an inbox full of the e word!

  236.  #236Heart on October 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Miss Stix – oooh I love when a song no longer triggers me!

  237.  #237Smile on October 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    An unfortunate typo tam. Xxxxx

  238.  #238Tam on October 15, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    hehe. I feel amused.

  239.  #239Smile on October 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    Ah, that feels good. I didn’t ‘think’ about ‘him’ for a few hours.

    Loving roris Post directory. Is this new or has it always been there?

  240.  #240Daria on October 15, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    ahhh im making myself laugh with damnyouautocorrect

    feels good ๐Ÿ™‚

  241.  #241Heart on October 15, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    Olympia – Thank you. I feel flattered. We all want to feel romanced and special…Thats why most us are here.
    I believe just feeling that desire and sinking into your core emotions are big steps. Keep doing that -yay! You’ll feel good.

    Olympia – I am learning and growing and I don’t have the answers to many things…
    However right now…I want to ask you to take a week break from trying to change or get him to do anything…In fact let him trigger you and feel the feelings that come up. Practicing being and finding your feelings, journaling for one to two weeks?

    It’s ok if he doesn’t ask you to go celebrating. Sink and find out why you are worrying about that so much etc etc…

  242.  #242Heart on October 15, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Olympia – practice it with everybody.

  243.  #243Smile on October 15, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Brilliant Rori let the e word through!!!
    Feel giggly again reading back and seeing your ‘testing’ heart and goddess lily.
    Ruth the context now makes sense!

  244.  #244Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    a lot of fun going on the blog today…it feels good. ๐Ÿ™‚

  245.  #245Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    I feel shy writing about SeenmecryCD, but I want to write about him, because I want to see what he is teaching me.

    so, if anyone will remember, last week i talked to him, and it was super hard because all my feel good feelings came back with him.

    This past weekend, I’m pulling into the parking lot, and he’s there with his girlfriend, and I KNOW he saw me pulling in when they were walking up to the door.

    He literally turned his head to avoid looking at me and walked straight ahead.

    It was like a deliberate ignore.

    I read somewhere that when a man ignores you, it means that he feels like he is losing his power.

    I’ve sort of been ignoring Jack CD, I mean, not really, but like, I feel like I’m losing my power with him definitely, and I just feel stuck. but he doesn’t have a girlfriend, just this long distance girl that he doesn’t know that I know about.

    I feel embarassed…

  246.  #246Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    I feel really frustrated and triggered reading about men who don’t want to commit.

    that has never seemed to be the problem with men.

    MY PROBLEM is that I’m the one who doesn’t want to commit. I just…I just want to go really slow and I want them to lead. Is that so much to ask?

    and I don’t feel ready for marriage quite yet.

    Is that okay with you?

  247.  #247Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    been reading about my zodiac. I didn’t use to believe in that kind of stuff, but it’s so accurate it’s creeping me out.

    “…have a gift for living the high life, and that means plenty of friends at their side. People born on this date fall in love easily but may have trouble committing to a relationship.”

    “As soon as they fall in love, the typical Sagittarian BEGINS TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT HE OR SHE WILL HAVE TO GIVE UP. (that is soooooo true about me!)

    So they may put off making a commitment as long as possible. When they do settle down, they adjust well. They refuse to let the relationship get stale and always look for ways to bring excitement to the union.”

  248.  #248Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    I just realized something. I haven’t really had to try very hard at leaning back because I had no one to lean back with. I’m not missing my ex so leaning back with him is a piece of cake. I don’t feel sad or longing or anything. I’ve been reading everyone else’s successes and not so successes and learning or so I thought. After my date to the wedding, I find myself wanting to lean forward almost immediately. (well craptastic) I had so much fun and he said such wonderful things….like they do….but now I want him to act on what he said.

    So this is my first real test. I feel mischievous like a little kid. I want to go against what I KNOW is good advice. Been there, done that….that would be silly now. Lean back I say!!! If he doesn’t act, then it’s his loss and that’s ok.

  249.  #249Heart on October 15, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    #245 Iama – He must be young…like early 20s?
    Young player-ish men do that when their girlfriends are not around.
    Just ignore women that they flirt with when there main girl is there. Then they are flirting when their gf is gone…
    Is that the case with this guy?

  250.  #250turquoise on October 15, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Tam and FW, thanks for the reply’s. And you are right, I offered my support and listened….. he doesn’t need me to fix anything for him, and i don’t think he reached out to tell me how he felt because he wanted or expected me to do anything for him, besides to know he could talk to me. His emotions have been pretty stable lately, but with his brother here for a night it triggered a lot of old feelings and stress. It’s great though, he’s so expressive about how he feels, he’ll come right out and say, I’m going to be in a bad mood today. He doesn’t sulk or pick a fight or blame anyone, just says how he feels.

    He’s so awesome though. My brakes were really squeaking and he took my tires off, showed me my pads and rotors, watched videos online because he wanted to change them for me… and then told me he didn’t feel comfortable, was beyond his skill and knowledge, felt really bad that he couldn’t do it for me, but was worried he wouldn’t do it right and it wouldn’t be safe. He said he felt so bad, really wanted to take care of that for me. I told him how much I apprecaited that he even tried, and when I do get it fixed, I know it’s just the pads, they can’t rip me off for rotors too. So, even when he was having a bad day and feeling blah, he tried to make me happy.

    When I read Luzydel’s story about locking her keys in her car and no one would step in to help her, she had to call an ex, it reminded me how wonderful it is to have someone that you can count on, or at least you can call to help you. My ex would do it for me too, if he were close…. but not my brother who lives close, my dad is 80 and lives an hour away, maybe one of my nephews, but they can be hard to get in touch with…. it’s important to have people in our lives. I’d have to call my sister and she has triple A, or if her boyfriend wasn’t working, he’d come. I have this huge family, lots of friends and aquaintences, but I’m so used to doing everything for myself, I rarely ask anyone. I’m glad to have someone who wants to be there for me. It feels good to know that. Maybe he’s going to be a temporary part of my life, or a lifelong part… but I’m really happy he’s here now. It’s not so much about the actual thing he does, like checking my brakes or cutting the grass…. it’s not the act, it’s the wanting to help me, with no expectation in return, that feels so special.

  251.  #251Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    @249 Heart – yes, you nailed it. Early 20’s. but I wouldn’t call him a flirt by any means. He’s extremely friendly, but not a flirt. and I wouldn’t say that he was even flirting with me necessarily. I approached him to ask him about his family who had just experienced a loss. (leaning forward? sure, whatever, I would have done it with any person I cared about.)

    I had zero expectations and we just ended up talking for a really long time, he kept mirroring my body language, kept trying to make me laugh (it worked), kept asking me questions to get me to stay when I was about to get up and leave.)

    I didn’t mention this but after he ignored me in the parking lot yesterday, he would not stop staring at me once we were in the building.

    At one point, I just looked right back at him.

    She was sitting right next to him. She had to have noticed.

    I don’t know why he does that!

    I feel frustrated!

    and immature and embarassed!

    What do you think, Heart?

  252.  #252Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    And now my ex is trying to out girl me! His ego won’t let him continue to come after me now that my vibe has shifted. He wants me to contact him and say I miss him and what not, but I feel turned off by that.

  253.  #253ruth on October 15, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    I said it before and I will say it again

    Mr C sounds awesome

  254.  #254ruth on October 15, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    some of you are *naughty* Sirens and need a litle spank

    Can I say that?

  255.  #255turquoise on October 15, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Thanks Ruth. He is. He has a feisty side too… but a lot of what I see is him trying to keep people away because he doesn’t really trust anyone or feel that anyone “gets him.” I don’t think he’s so complicated. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think he’s awesome and I hope that comes across when we are together. We all deserve to be loved and appreciated.

    About being feisty…. I definitely felt that I was, used my half latin side and fire sign as an excuse to be that way. What it mostly showed up as was me saying things without thinking them through and having a bit of a temper. Which, when justified…. it feels empowering to stand up for yourself or someone else, but words can also we harmful, so I’ve been working with my triggered defense feelings, and sitting with them, feeling them out, and then responding. has made a huge difference for me!

    I usually say I’m spicy, not feisty. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Another word that will get you in moderation is sticking a D in front of the e word. I was talking about eggs I made one time, and got moderated. lol.

  256.  #256turquoise on October 15, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    LG, Did I miss the announcement…. starting a family, are you expecting?????? I thought that was what you were eluding to awhile back, but wasn’t sure. If so, congratulations! If not, and I misread and you are just planning, then that is great too! Very happy for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  257.  #257Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Mr. Stares me down seems to have disappeared. I haven’t seen him in almost 3 weeks?

    So, I’ve got engaged guy, saying goodbye to me, holding me, tenderly burying his head into my shoulder.

    “Leaning forward” with SeenmecryCD, with his gf.

    Jack CD…outgirling him to the max and feeling confused as H-E-double hockey sticks, because of this random long distance girl of his.

    and no one else really interesting me right now, or even showing interest in me, for that matter.

    and I feel…I don’t know. I just feel like moving forward. I want someone to move forward with me, and if they don’t, they get left in the dust!

    what are these guys teaching me?

    that I feel fear of commitment. that the less available a guy is, the more I want him.

    that I need to work on my communication skills?

    I don’t know.

    but I feel okay…

  258.  #258ruth on October 15, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    I like spicy!

    Not that I am, but it sounds fun

  259.  #259turquoise on October 15, 2012 at 2:06 pm


    Make some spicy food, put on some music, some dark lipstick and sexy shoes… spicy is easy ๐Ÿ™‚ Surprise your man some night with Spicy Ruth! Might get some new feeling messages out between you both. ๐Ÿ™‚

  260.  #260Daria on October 15, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    im feeling so annoyed and judgemental!

    i don’t feel safe

    i don’t feel close

    i don’t feel loved

    i feel like shaking and yelling at people and ‘telling them the truth about themselves’ ie judging them

    i feel dragged down!

    i don’t want to feel that way

    i feel triggered

    when someone drags me down my pattern is to yell at them


    im sorrry Daria

    i rememeber that


  261.  #261Daria on October 15, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    i feel compelled to mock

    i feel uncomforrable

    i feel eye rolling

    i feel annoyed


    i feel eye look down

    i feel so hopeless feeling this way

  262.  #262Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Hi Turquoise, you didn’t miss an official announcement but yes, I am expecting ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’m at the tail end of my first trimester.

    I feel very excited and a little bit nervous…mostly because I want for the baby to be healthy and feeling confident that I am doing the right things to provide for it.

    My guy has been super sweet and supportive, making me lots of great food, and cleaning the house, making midwife appts, etc.

    Yes, yes, very exciting and also nervous, shaking in my boots, can I do this?, type of feeling?

  263.  #263ruth on October 15, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    ooooh LG, how lovely

  264.  #264ruth on October 15, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    um, lipstick, sexy shoes and sex do not feature in my life

    sounds good though

  265.  #265Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Congratulations LG!

  266.  #266Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    So sweet!! Congratulations LG from me too!

  267.  #267LiliBee on October 15, 2012 at 2:22 pm



    It’s reassuring to know that you have been able to stop and get a handle on your emotions before you speak.

    I have issues with that.
    I have alot of deeprooted resistence with it.
    I find it’s taking me a long time.
    I feel really impatient when my emotions are triggered.
    Often I’ll walk away coz I don’t know how to manage my emotions and speak in FMs without blaming.
    The walk away is always interpreted as walking out period.

    I want to at least start by saying “I’m feeling really angry right now, and I don’t want to say anything hurtful.”

    I am feeling a turmoil of anger around a trigger right now.
    I was reading a book on relationships last night, and what stuck was “responsibility” with our emotions, feelings and working on self.

    In my mind, I was telling myself that I do that but he doesn’t.
    He blamed me, and I blamed him and the wheel keeps on turning.
    I keep the wheel turning in my mind coz I still got angry that he doesn’t do any introspection and only looks at what I do.

    I get to accepting my own responsibility and get to feeling love for myself.
    Then I read that book, and I still get triggered.

  268.  #268LiliBee on October 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm


    Awww LG!

    I feel so happy for you! ๐Ÿ™‚
    What a great mom this baby is going to have!

  269.  #269MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Yay!!! Siren baby!

    Happiness and well wishes to mommy baby and daddy! ๐Ÿ™‚

  270.  #270April Rose on October 15, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    Laughing Goddess,

    How very delicious and exciting. Feeling all coochy and happy at your news…

  271.  #271Starla on October 15, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    i did order the present for warrior.

    i am just following my heart and showing love to other humans.

    and showing love to myself by not being romantically involved unless it feels good.

  272.  #272Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    @260 Daria – who are you feeling that way towards? is it me? Just feel curious…

  273.  #273MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    I feel like the whacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube (wo)man!!!

    5 million points to any siren who gets the referrence!

  274.  #274Heart on October 15, 2012 at 2:43 pm


    I feel compassion for u.

    Please don’t take my assumptions as fact but it sounds like her likes your attention & affection. Maybe it makes him feel-like a boss. Also maybe he likes thinking he might maybe somehow has the option of sleeping with you…and doesn’t want to lose that …so he stares at you to maintain “th connection” …but he doesn’t lean forward and do anything because he already has a girlfriend and therefore mybe his heart is already taken?

    I believe that yes…on a subconscious level your afraid of commitment and fear intimacy so you gravitate towards hopeless situations because they are safe. You cant get your heart broken in a real sense.

  275.  #275Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    Awwww Ruth, Goddess Lily, Ulii, and Lilibee, I feel so moved by your support.

    I feel a little overwhelmed and am just taking it day by day.

    I always knew that I wanted to wait until about this age before I had kids. My mom got pregnant with me at 16 and I saw what that was like for her. She worked it, but I really wanted to give myself time to experience life and gain maturity and have lots of independence before doing so.

    And now that its happening…Wow! I am still feeling a bit of shock.

    And I guess a part of me has felt hestitant to get too invested because I know there is a big possibility of losing a pregnancy early on. And because I haven’t experienced this before, I don’t quite know how my body will handle it.

    But everything seems to be going well and I actually feel really strong. I have had quite a bit of morning sickness but I hear that is actually a good sign, means that the pregnancy hormones are strong.

    This is really testing my tendency to feel anxious about things. I think that is where my work lies, is relaxing and trusting that everything is going to be okay.

    I tend to worry a lot about things that I love, my family, pets, and I don’t want to be an anxious, over-protective mothers.

    So yes, yes, I think that’s where the growth is for me right now.

    Trust, surrender, taking inspired action.

  276.  #276CurvySiren10 on October 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    LG, that is so awesome! I picked up on the “starting a family” line too, but didn’t want to assume anything.

    You can do this! It’s the most natural thing in the world…and you are taking SUCH great care of both of you. Beautiful news… congrats!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  277.  #277Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Miss Stix: Haha! I totally get it!

  278.  #278Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Thanks, Heart. The thing is, they never start out being “taken.” they always become “taken” right when i’m trying to figure out stuff. or when i’m feeling scared. or when I’m closing off my heart. or when they are not even interested and I’m just pretending that they are to make myself feel better?

    I don’t know anything. I feel sad and stuck…

  279.  #279Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    “Also maybe he likes thinking he might maybe somehow has the option of sleeping with youโ€ฆ”

    As far as I know that doesn’t mesh with his values…

    so I’m not worried about that.

    I’m worried about…being alone, i guess.

  280.  #280Laughing Goddess on October 15, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Miss Stix, April Rose, Curvy Siren,

    Thank you!!!

  281.  #281Starla on October 15, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    wow, the ‘dream’ car i keep having a hard time finding a good one of just popped up again for sale in my city. this one is the exact one i want

    and yet, i feel moved to get this economy car. and it’s for sale for 1800 less than what it’s worth and i think i need a good deal so i can re-sell it when i’m ready for my BRAND NEW CAR

    ohhh ladies i feel so afraid. such a big purchase

  282.  #282MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 2:53 pm



  283.  #283Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm


    Say it five times fast, lol. I get the reference but why do you feel like that?

  284.  #284MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    I haven’t literally done it yet cause I have not had the required amount of privacy to just up and start flailing my arms around, but now that i’m inside the house this will be done.

  285.  #285Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    I feel really sad.

    Whenever a single guy that I’m actually attracted to shows interest in me, I just feel really, really, angry. I assume that he must be a jerk. That he is going to hurt and abandon me.

    and then he does…

  286.  #286MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    I’ve had a really great day and LGs announcement was kicker…I just had this incredible urge to flail my arms around in the air and that popped into my head.

  287.  #287Daria on October 15, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    im feeling all panicked time wise a bit

    and a lil sad


    i want to get the copies of the pics of my grandma and greaat grandma


  288.  #288MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    And yeah…Flailing feels kick-a$$! ๐Ÿ™‚

  289.  #289Dominique on October 15, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    Laughing Goddess – YAY!!!

    Much love to you.


  290.  #290Daria on October 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Lama butterfly – thanks for asking me… and actually i feel a bit uncomfortable and also excited to practice my new boundary which is that im just feeling triggered… i noticed i don’t feel good selecting a specific person to feel something “to” … i feel better just observing my feelings as they’re triggered by triggers rather than people

    it’s been helping me blame less with my mom

  291.  #291Daria on October 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    i feel all left out and also happy with myself for being sharp and knwoing and resentful and unsafe and closed off

    i love my feelings!

    wow i feel all tapestriysh with my feelings!

  292.  #292Daria on October 15, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Congratulations Laughing Goddess!

  293.  #293Turquoise on October 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    MissStix, I don’t get it ๐Ÿ™‚

    LG, I was really sick with my first, she ended up being a month early with a ton of hair, and has always been pretty healthy. My second one wasn’t as sick, she was two days late, not much hair… But also very healthy. So in my experience, bad morning sickness may have equated with a head full of hair. ๐Ÿ™‚

    It will be wonderful, no matter what!

  294.  #294Daria on October 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    i feel surprised happy curious smily


    i feel delighted

    i feel yawny

    i feel surprised i dont feel hard

  295.  #295Daria on October 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    i feel excited im getting it!

  296.  #296Heart on October 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Congrats Laughing Goddess …Take good care of yourself.

  297.  #297MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    The amount of happiness my little body temple can hold is staggering. ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel heaped upon. Just drowning in warm thick sparkling amazingness. Gasping for breath. Like I am just so elated I can barely breathe when I think about it. I have been busting out random giggles all day and I sqealed my delight out loud when I was “flailing”. This must be how it feels when you find happiness within, and then it starts pouring down upon you at the same time. I may crash…And oh that will be delicious too because it will be a sweet surrender to relief! This is too much ๐Ÿ˜€ too much too much too much! If I didn’t know better i’d say someone slipped me some e…

  298.  #298Heart on October 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Iama – I feel so confused by this:

    lso maybe he likes thinking he might maybe somehow has the option of sleeping with youโ€ฆโ€ As far as I know that doesnโ€™t mesh with his valuesโ€ฆ so Iโ€™m not worried about that Iโ€™m worried aboutโ€ฆbeing alone, i guess.

    I didn’t mean it in a “he’s preying on you” kind of way..I meant it in an innately male kind of way.

    Whats wrong with him wanting to have sex with you?
    I would be worried if he didn’t …

  299.  #299Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I must write here as otherwise it’s going to be impossible to avoid leaning forward in a crazy way.

    Sorry in advance if itยดs going to be a lot negative.

    I want to cry & scream at my ex boyfriend:
    You never loved me enough to fight for me! You never loved me enough to want to make me happy! You say you love me & miss me, but the same time you are already with somebody new… how come?! why!? If you say you failed in our realtionship, why you just didn’t step up & claimed me the way I needed. Why aren’t you brave enought.

    I know itยดs not fair say that to him… I have done really bad things to him. I let him down, I made him suffer a lot. I can still see it, he is still affected by everything that happened. So… from the other side I also want

    … to be with him again and be held by him. I feel now I miss him so much. Is this only the intensity that was brought back by the fact that now I know he is seeing someone else?

    And I want to hug him too and try to make him happy again… I know that’s somehting crazy I should not be wanting after becoming familiar with Roriยดs work, but I have a strange feeling I could actually do it…and that maybe I am that masculine-energy type of woman after all and being the stronger one & the protecter in a relationship is the only way to go.. And maybe I can even be happy like that? Maybe I have to give up my attraction to more masculine type men and stick with what I’m good at (hanging out with feminine artistic & sensitive guys like my ex…with whom I tend to lose the attraction at some point) ?

    Or maybe I need to do it to finally get rid of the guilt because I had half provoked our breakup by cheating back then. And he is so clearly not over it still…he has bad feelings still & can not sleep & was crying just the other night as he feels he has failed in the relationship with me..and he still has feelings for me..a lot… as he says.

    It is quite hard to define my feelings exactly. There are so many of them: jealousy, loss, sadness, feeling abandoned, “all alone in the world”, afraid of “nobody will ever love me again”, worthless – “he never loved me enough to fight for me” etc…

    I just feel so sick in my stomach right now and it’s hurting physically like big stones going round and round inside me and crushing everything on their way…

  300.  #300Heart on October 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    Miss stix – Woohoo …sounds like fun.

  301.  #301MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    Omg I am overflowing from the inside out and under a waterfall. Holy wow. Can my life contain it all?

  302.  #302Sirenity on October 15, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    16 Tam
    All you say is true..relationship minded men tend to be IN relationships and there are many “negative ” thoughts which are actually reality based around dating, getting older and being alone, eg singles die younger.

    Its also true that no amount of parroting of tools and systems , not Roris or anyone else’s will bring you a good man for life.

    I see the value of these ideas is in healing ME of relationship wounds and making me a better more open person in the world at large.

    Whilst the goal we all share may be getting a relationship that we want , i have come to think of it differently.

  303.  #303Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Laughing Goddess

    Feeling super excited for you. I kinda wondered about that awhile back. You have soooo much support and experienced women here.
    Awesome!!! I feel like I’m having another grand baby, lololol

  304.  #304Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 3:39 pm


    I feel as if you and I may be very much alike. Some of your posts and things you allude to sound very much like my life issues.
    I understand your reluctance to “tell your story” as it were, but I hope at some point you will feel a little more comfortable to spew or spam or whatever you need to do.
    It took me a long time to feel safe enough to post some of my stuff, I am still going through a huge process.
    I just wanted you to know there’s a connection here.

  305.  #305Sirenity on October 15, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    I now ask myself what is the FEELING i am seeking, and over and over again its the same thing . Its also validation that i am “good enough” .

    I have come to see that the lack of security began when my aging father was discovered having several affairs behind my mothers back in a marriage of 40 years duration. This shook my “secure base”.

    Soon after my own marriage dissolved from under me as i found my husband desperately hated being married me..and wanted his “freedom”. I lost certainty as well as security.

    I also lost the personal validation that I was an attractive, lovable wanted kind of person fact i was so UNattractive, so UNlovable that my husband couldnt wait to get away!

    Add to that a cocktail of serious illnesses and I had lost also my confidence in myself and my life force and my body.

    What came next was a dreadful place of trying to get back these feelings of security, safety, validation, being ALIVE..all of that..and looking for it in the wrong place with a couple of very bad choices of whom to love . Because when I gave out that huge love i was expecting to get back all these FEELINGS I had lost. Instead i just lost more of myself and there was nothing left to lose.

    Doing Roris tools and hanging around the blog has been hugely healing these couple of years. I also enjoy EMKs take care of yourself style and several others online.

    I am no longer seeking a relationship to give me back what i lost . I realise i get love daily from my sons and extended family, i get security from a good job and my ability to do it well (though i still feel very anxious when i am ill and alone) I have work to do on that aspect.

    Validation of me as a woman I do get from time to time when a man is complimentary or i look good in a certain outfit but that also needs work.

    Because in the end I have to give myself these feelings of safety, security, love, acceptance, approval and validation on a moment by moment basis . It sure isnt coming from any man any time soon !!! And I look forward to healing myself in security even more .

    Thus endeth the rant,

  306.  #306Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    Ok…but writing it out is already making me feel a bit better.

    My stomach is not hurting anymore…

    And I’m not going to contact M to tell him anything.

    Trying to remember the good things about him.
    And the ways he is taking care of me in a masculine way…even now in this situation.

    He brought me my favourite (and only) gossip magazine I read sometimes and what he used to enjoy reading with me.

    He took me to his town by car and let me stay at his house (even he himself left for that I could stay there alone)…So I could spend few days there and go to see my many friends I have there.

    He had left me little flowers beside my bed even if he himselft left for the house of that other woman.

    The last day he came home before he had said and was cooking lunch for me. And he wanted to talk with me about how I am feeling etc. I myself could not really express authentically all of the turmoil of feelings I was going through. But I still felt connected to him, although so sad.. and it was hard seeing him so sad too.

    Later he drove me to the bus station and also insisted to pay for my bus ride back.

    I do feel he is taking care of me… and thanked him many times.

  307.  #307Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm


    You are awesome! I love your process.

  308.  #308Goddess Lily on October 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    I will study for about two hours or until I reach the end of the topic and then I will indulge in the blog. This sounds like a plan. I feel focused!

  309.  #309Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    @ Sirenity

    I feel amazed & inspired with your brave process. I also feel I have a long way to go.


  310.  #310Ulii on October 15, 2012 at 3:56 pm


  311.  #311Jeannette on October 15, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    Aloha, anyone remember me?

  312.  #312Daria on October 15, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    oh yum thank you Daria for doing that for me wow i feel so impressed

  313.  #313Daria on October 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    Hi Jeannette ๐Ÿ™‚

  314.  #314Jeannette on October 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Hi Daria, yes I am still around believe it or not..Haven’t been interested in dating though…

  315.  #315ruth on October 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    yes, yes YES!

    A man is not esential to being whole
    Sassy, thank you
    I will continue to practice feeling messages here, when I am able
    I think right now they are not working in real life for me-quite the opposite
    But seeing other Sirens use them, I can see what poweful tools they are when expressed appropriately(I dont think I am doing that)
    As for my story-hm.Id be judged here, and i dont want that

  316.  #316Daria on October 15, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    wow D i just got my blood time… thank you girl, i wasn’t expecting that!

    feeling sacred

  317.  #317Daria on October 15, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    yay new moon blood

  318.  #318Daria on October 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    i feel annoyed and i love my annoyed look up to the right and blow air up at my eyebrow

    how cute!


    i love me

    i love my desire to be like the ‘cool girls’

    i love my shame and sadness


  319.  #319Daria on October 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    i love my anger!

    i love my desire to yell !

    i love my desire to not feel shut out!

    i dont want to feel lonely

    i don’t want to feel disconnected


    i feel frenzied

    i love my frenzy


    i love my mhhhm

  320.  #320Daria on October 15, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    im still feeling so in awe and with a smile that i really received my blood

    aww yay wow so sweet of me to do that

    i feel melted i feel looked after i feel gentled

    i feel like someone was looking out to give me a gift even when im not feeling all ‘out there’ and loud to radiate outward

    my mother is looking and caring for me and gives me gentle gifts

  321.  #321Sassy on October 15, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    Ahhhh, Ruth, I feel you on that. (Judgement). If ever you need to vent privately…
    (Yes, 3 lowercase l’s)

  322.  #322Daria on October 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    mmm thank u for takikng care of my hair

    you’re so powerful and harnica

  323.  #323MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    My entire life shifted about 40 degrees to the left today.

    I no longer need anything that feels good.

    And that is all. Amazing.

  324.  #324MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    This is incredible.

    When I let go of needing good things it allows me the space to deeply and truly appreciate them, lacking suspicion entirely. So trusting. Gorgeous!

  325.  #325T-Girl on October 15, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Laughing Goddess! So excited for you!

  326.  #326MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    This road is paved in gold. It’s the lack of fearing negative or dark feelings that allowed me to release my need for the good.

  327.  #327MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    Loving my sad, angry, lost, rage, rawr, big scary feelings shrunk them down to human size. And now I can hug them or coddle them or cradle them or feed them or sit quietly with them.

  328.  #328Daria on October 15, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    ๐Ÿ™ i love my sadness. i love my surprise. i love my curiosity. i love my admiration. i love my queasiness.

    i love my meltyness. i love my sadness and my ill never have what i wantness. sigh…

    i love my defensiveness. i love my smileyness.

    i love my rawness. i love my spasm. i love my rest disires.

    i love my ouchies.

    i love my anger.

    i love my powerlessness.

    i love my pleadingness.

    i love my loneliness. i love my heartpain.

    i love my anger

    i love my ouchie.

    i love my anger.

  329.  #329Daria on October 15, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    i feel left out and that feels ‘crummy’ as rori says

    i feel all rebellious/anger noticing myself feeling this way

    i feel defensive protective

    i feel like i want to make wrong, argue. shame

    tell people its wrong to treat lil daria this way


    i feel so unloved


  330.  #330Daria on October 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    ouch i feel chest tightening, i feel sadness and disappointment and powerlessness and hopelessness

    i feel anger

  331.  #331MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    This is the way I am now. This is the way in which I feel. This is my relationship with my own mind, body, and soul. Ahhhhhh mmmm this is who I am. This is just who I am now.

  332.  #332MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 5:27 pm


  333.  #333MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    I love how safe this feels. Feels calm. I feel zen but not ommmmm more like just mmmmmmmmaaaaaahhhhhh woosh wave of…I have no word for this feeling. Second time today. ((((new wordless feelings)))) It’s warm and like a gentle wave rushing over me but only flowing never ebbing.

  334.  #334MissStix on October 15, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    <3 <3 <3 <3 Daria <3 <3 <3 <3

  335.  #335Heart on October 15, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    I choose Me.

  336.  #336Annie on October 15, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    196: HeartNo Gravatar says:
    Heart says
    “Annie โ€“ “Oh. I see. I now know more of the story.

    but Annie โ€“ hmmm your vibe seems a bit hostile and angry when describing the men/ in general. Is there something more to this? Are you angry with men?
    (This is the internet and I could be wrongโ€ฆI donโ€™t feel anger towards men but maybe I do subconsciously and Iโ€™m projecting my issues unto youโ€ฆ.or maybe Iโ€™m just reading the situation correctly or both. So please donโ€™t be offended)”

    I don’t feel offended.
    I feel no anger towards either man.
    I felt scared of the first man when he did this.
    I believe I would have felt flattered in different circumstances and good, for instance if I were in a committed relationship and a man did this if another man was chatting me up. This was different and felt scary though. Like he was claiming me warning others off and warning me and I didn’t even know him and wasn’t even his.

    The second man in question again I feel no anger towards. I felt comfortable around them and more relaxed because I didn’t fancy them. So I found them easier to talk too.
    I feel shy and go to jelly around men I feel sexually attracted too. Or get on my high horse and act bratty.

  337.  #337Annie on October 15, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    I do feel anger towards some men and society in general. or is it sadness. I suppose the anger is covering up the sadness. Yes the anger feels easier to accept and cope with. As anger has drive me and has a force behind it to compel me into action.
    Sadness makes me want to give up and makes me feel despair and have no hope.

    So I feel anger and then underneath that feel sadness at
    how we have all played a part in making men more important.
    women putting their own needs and feelings last.
    It makes me feel sad. And then I feel no hope in being able to challenge and change this for the better. And once we have no hope and believe this is it, everything feels pointless. tears.

  338.  #338Annie on October 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    I do like or want to feel sad. I want to feel joy,happiness and bliss.

  339.  #339Femininewoman on October 15, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Hi Jeanette

  340.  #340Heart on October 15, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Annie – what do you feel under the sadness?

  341.  #341Annie on October 15, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    I feel heartbreak under the sadness.

  342.  #342Iamabutterfly on October 15, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    @298 Heart – sorry for the confusion. I feel so honored that you want to understand, though! I feel seen and that feels really great right now.

    I think I may have misunderstood you, and then didn’t communicate exactly what I was trying to say.

    he could very well want to have sex with me, I guess. or maybe a better way to say it would be he could very well feel sexual attraction towards me.

    I come from the school of “wait until marriage.”

    of course that doesn’t mean that I’m not or he’s not going to feel sexual attraction, it just means that we won’t be going there unless we’re married to each other, if that makes sense.

    in other words, he would know that he wouldn’t have the option of sleeping with me unless we were married…

    I suddenly feel not attractive enough for him…

    like how could he feel sexual attraction towards me?

    Why is this coming up?

    i feel self-conscious about my appearance right now. I’ve put on a little weight and my clothes are getting tight and it makes me feel exposed and frumpy…:(

  343.  #343Annie on October 15, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Ty Heart I feel better now I have accepted the heartbreak and cried and let go a little. I feel lighter. Ty for helping me process.

  344.  #344Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    Yeah, I’m feisty. In wicked feisty ๐Ÿ˜‰

    That is, when I am at my best, I feel feisty and invincible and amazing. When I am feeling low, down and depressed, I act like a doormat, and I feel like one, too…

    But I believe my essential nature is truly on the ‘feisty’ side. That’s when I feel like my true self steps out and shines! : )

  345.  #345Heart on October 15, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    Annie – what’s under the heartbreak?

    Iama – OH. I get what your trying to say. Yes lets say it that way: he feels sexual attraction..
    Trust me …he thought about um like phuckingyou (moderate that lol). Iama – lots of men you know think about sleeping with you – frumpy or not.
    Own that…
    I suggest you spend a little time learning about men.

  346.  #346Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    I haven’t been feeling like I’ve been “getting the love” today. No notes or texts from CDs. But then again, it’s Monday. I’ve been in “masculine,” working mode all day. A large switch from my awesome, receiving, feminine weekend – yeah! I pretty much rocked it.

    And this morning, I had this lovely tingly feeling all over that seemed to be leftover from SYG’s touch. Ooh, it was so lovely and pleasant. I’ve felt so relaxed and at ease all day ๐Ÿ™‚

    So I guess I don’t need to worry about “getting the love.” just because I’m not “getting” it right now, doesn’t mean I don’t have it all around me.

    I blessed to be loved and appreciated by so many people ๐Ÿ™‚

  347.  #347Heart on October 15, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Iama – ps him thinking about sleeping with you is healthy and normal btw.

  348.  #348Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 7:21 pm

    And grateful. I feel grateful for my awesome, rockstar weekend, grateful for the guys who love me, and grateful that there was a mix-up with my last client and I get to go home early. I’m so tired!!! Yay, I can’t wait for bed time : ) lol

  349.  #349Heart on October 15, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    #243 Annie – I feel good to read that…

  350.  #350Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    @tam – pink and squishy sounds nice, but sandy and salty sounds interesting! ๐Ÿ™‚

  351.  #351Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    You know, I can’t know this for sure, but it sounds a lot like Rori has been reading Sherry Argov. I always knew they’re philosophies had a lot in common! : )

  352.  #352gazelle on October 15, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    Dear Rori and all you wonderful women here,

    I just wanted to thank you for your support, guidance, and encouragement all these years and share some wonderful news with you all: my guy and I got married about a month ago and we’re extremely happy and in love! Married life has been bliss so far. We went through some very tough times when my self esteem had really hit rock bottom but with your tools, working on my self, and growing comfortable in my skin, I have my sunset and happy ending. My husband is so wonderful with me–our love and respect for each other has really been renewed. We continue to argue about small things but it is never ever earth shattering to me.

    I pray the same for each and every one of you. Stay you, work on you, and enjoy life! XOXO

  353.  #353Radlove on October 15, 2012 at 10:26 pm



  354.  #354Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    I caught a glimpse of a stranger driving by me today….and I thought “that’s what my husband will look like” it was so weird! But exciting !

  355.  #355Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    I barely saw he guy and I wasnt even thinking about husbands lol… It was just a random thought. But I feel intrigued. He had dark hair masculine features and a kind face.

  356.  #356Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    Hi sirens!

  357.  #357Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    I feel blah about my job. The women are catty and I find myself feeling totally exhausted by it. I try to ignore it. I need a more stable place to live and I’ll feel better. I’ve been staying with friends in spare bedroom for this job location and it’s taking a toll.

  358.  #358Janie Baby on October 15, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    I feel confused. I feel like I’m thinking too much. He told me to call him after I finished having dinner with my dad, but I don’t feel like leaning forward and doing it, so I’m not gonna. Is that rude? Then, I think too much if I’m putting too much effort by making a conscious effort NOT to call. donno!! it would be kind of nice to just clean my room and lay in bed alone tonight with some nice music to not worry about this. ๐Ÿ™‚ What do you sirens think about calling him ?

  359.  #359Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    I read baggage reclaim today and it really hit home for me today as well as this article from Rori

  360.  #360Janie Baby on October 15, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    Also Sirens, if you’re in LA, SF, Chicago, New York, Houston or Orange County, I’d recommend taking S Factor. It’s pole dance but with an emphasis on female movement and emotions. THey are all about female power and embracing your emotions! I love it.

  361.  #361Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    Hi Janie baby your plan sounds relaxing… Maybe do your plan and he will call if he wants to talk to u! It’s not rude

  362.  #362Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    Oh I’m getting so caught in the web of negative energy at work. How do I handle this better!?

  363.  #363Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 10:59 pm

    360 sounds intriguing !!!

  364.  #364Radlove on October 15, 2012 at 11:00 pm


    Welcome back! How are you doing? What’s going on in your life?


  365.  #365Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    I don’t want to be sad and stressed. Why can’t I get my act together

  366.  #366Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    I need to redefine my vision…without compromise

  367.  #367Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    Laughing goddess, congratulations !! Xxx

  368.  #368Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    Gazelle! Congratulations! Xx

  369.  #369Smile on October 15, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Aw happy sirens ๎—

  370.  #370Janie Baby on October 15, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    Emerson, you should definitely try S factor. I started it when I was going through a breakup, and it got me through. We bring in sexy lingerie and feel sexy in front of each other or just go and and cry or throw tantrums in our dance. It’s very freeing and a safe place for expression.

  371.  #371Janie Baby on October 15, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    Sometimes I feel jealous of girls who’s boyfriends want to hang out with them 24-7. My boyfriend only wants to have sex with me a couple times a week and doesn’t want to sleep over every night. If our relationship started like this, I wouldn’t think much of it…but we use dto every day…I feel a little anxious and unloved, but I also feel a little ungrateful and I don’t want to put pressure on him. How do I inspire him tow ant to spend more time with me without demanding or controlling?

  372.  #372Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    370 wow sounds really interesting!

  373.  #373Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    371 Janie baby maybe try out some feeling messages here on the blog…?

  374.  #374Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    I want a fun happy job

  375.  #375Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 11:28 pm

    These are comments from the last thread (my responses):

    Belle – 768: Cool! That sounded like a really positive and awesome text. And even better if you felt great after sending it! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sirenity – Sure, “No” can be part of the negotiation. But it doesn’t have to be permanent – it can be “Not right now.” It doesn’t have to be NO FOREVER AND EVER. lol NO can be: this is where you are at right now. It MIGHT be forever. But you may change your mind later on. So you don’t want to box yourself into feeling guilty if you do… : )

  376.  #376Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 11:29 pm

    In fact – Sirenity, No should definitely be part of the negotiation! Someone has to be saying no in order for there to *be* a negotiation – otherwise there’s no conversation! lol

  377.  #377Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    @Emerson 374 – you shall have it! ๐Ÿ™‚

  378.  #378Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    Whoo!! I feel a bit freer right now….I’ve just spent an hour cleaning out my “drafts” folder in my email box. Wow! I deleted so many charged-up emails, that I am soooo super glad that I never sent. lol

    And I’m even MORE glad that they are no longer in existence. Okay, I am sure there is a digital record of them somewhere. But as far as I am concerned, they are released to the Universe!

    There were an especially large number of emails to a friend of mine, who used to be a friend, but now is not. And it’s been years since we’ve spoken.

    I actually got brave, and I sent him a message that included a Thank You for something he did for me that I never really acknowledged. I have no hope or expectation of hearing back from him. I just feel like we had so much unnecessary drama, and for years I’ve just wanted to cut through all that bullshit and get to something meaningful. I could tell that he cared about me – a lot. As a friend, for sure. Maybe nothing more than that. But we also had chemistry and attraction. He’s a good-looking guy, what can I say? Only, it felt more like him being attracted to me, and doing nice things for me, and whatnot. He was maybe my first, unofficial “CD” after my fiance. But we never really “dated” (although that’s not necessary for CD-ing, right?) He’s taught be a lot about what guys are like. And even though I don’t really miss him on a daily basis anymore, and I feel fine with him going on with his life and doing whatever he wants; I feel less angry with him; I do still have a sense of unfinished business. Not that I need to wrap it all up. But at least for now, it felt good to just express gratitude, and not to make an issue out of anything…

    Oh yeah. And all those other emails – GONE!! lol

    (Plus to a few other guys, too ; )

  379.  #379Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    377 thanks tereana

    378 nice!

  380.  #380Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    What am I afraid of? Why am I getting in my own way?

  381.  #381Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:51 pm

    I want and need harmony and happiness at work. Is it so impossible?

  382.  #382Tereana on October 15, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    Janie Baby – I don’t know if I’m a great person to counsel in this area, since I’d be scared as heck to have this conversation, but have you talked to him about it? It sounds like you’re not getting what you need, or maybe things have just shifted, and you’re noticing a change. My guess is that he doesn’t love you any less. And there is probably nothing you can “do” to get him to “want” you more.

    In fact, I bet he feels really comfortable so that he doesn’t feel like he “has” to sleep with you every night in order to please you. I feel like I’m remembering something from Evan Mark Katz or Christian Carter about this…like sometimes when the intimacy declines, it’s not that they love you Less, it’s that they’ve gotten into a groove where loving you is second nature. So they are not trying to “prove” themselves to you. It’s probably a good sign!!

    So you have a couple of options.

    1.) You could do nothing, and just see if you can shift your focus from what you’re “not getting” (i.e. sex every night), and instead think about what you have – is it a great relationship with a great guy? Heck, if you get sex with the same guy three times a week, I’m jealous of YOU! Lol. *I want that.* In fact, I think that would be GREAT!! How about – Heck Yeah! You get sex three times a week! Isn’t that awesome and amazing!?! And then when you DO have sex, really, really enjoy it. Feel it. Get into it. I bet if he sees that he’s pleasing you, he may just want to do it more often. No promises. Don’t go for result. Just see what happens if you get excited about the sex that you DO have.

    Okay, maybe that’s the best option for you. That’s the easiest, and totally avoids “drama.”

    But if you have to talk to him. Then:

    2.) Use feeling messages. You could say something like: “Hey, sweetie, can we talk for a second?” and then when he says yes, just tell him what a great boyfriend he is and how much you like him. And then share feeling messages. Share how much you love different things that he does, and that it would feel so great to be intimate more often. The trick here is not to put any “pressure” on him. You don’t want to sound like you are “demanding” sex every day of the week. Just maybe more like, “Hey, Honey, I love our relationship, but I’m not sure that I’m getting all the intimacy that I really need. It would feel great to be close to you more often. What do you think?” Then see how he responds…

    Helpful? Other siren input?

  383.  #383Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    Hmm.. Sending prayers for a message to help me resolve this feeling of helplessness

  384.  #384Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Dang Janie baby your man is lucky lucky to have you in his bed.!!!

  385.  #385Emerson on October 15, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    382 tereana I like what you said!

  386.  #386Tereana on October 16, 2012 at 12:00 am

    I think I’ve figured out a key to being with a guy – FUN! Like, if I can have FUN with a guy, and if he can have fun with me, and I have fun with my life, then there will be less to worry about!

    I can grasp this emotionally, even though at the moment, it is probably a little harder for me to put into practice. But I can practice. I can practice having fun little bits at a time….

    Fun makes everything feel like less pressure. Fun makes things feel good. If a guy feels like he’s having fun when he’s around you, then he’ll want more…and more and more. Not fun at the expense of your boundaries. But fun because you HAVE boundaries. Fun because you are confident and feisty and a perfect expression of yourself.

    THAT is what fun means. And I intend to be that woman as much as possible – fun, AND with good boundaries. I will be the best partner ever!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  387.  #387Janie Baby on October 16, 2012 at 12:03 am

    Tereana, thanks for the advice! I really enjoy it. Yes, maybe I need to start practicing gratitude. Instead of getting upset when I see other girls with their boyfriends all the time, realize my boyfriend is busier right now and appreciate what I get but also dont rely too much on him.

    Also , sounds good about the email to the male friend. sometimes its very freeing to be honest and get out your feelings to the universe.

    thanks so much Emerson, that’s sweet!!

  388.  #388Sirenity on October 16, 2012 at 12:10 am

    Sassy , Ulli and Ruth, Thanks for the hugs!

    I feel better for having written “out loud’ my update ..its like one of those traffic reports with chopper noise in the background..

    “Todays progress along Highway One is slow at times with stretches of clear road ahead visible through the smog… ๐Ÿ™‚ ”

    Jeanette , I am delighted to read your greeting . i was thinking of you the other day and wondering how everything is going.

  389.  #389Annie on October 16, 2012 at 12:26 am

    Heart says ” what is under the heartbreak”

    Nothing I feel nothing under the heartbreak.
    That’s the core.

  390.  #390ruth on October 16, 2012 at 12:40 am

    Sassy, thank you so much, I feel heard

    Annie 389-feeling nothing is for me a form of self protection

    I am feeling decidely unfeisty today
    My vibe is RIGHT off
    Hm, I shall withdraw into my woman cave for a bit and he can stay in his cave
    I feel too tired to try right now

  391.  #391Heart on October 16, 2012 at 1:48 am

    Well, it’s been 3 weeks since I’ve heard from CudG.
    I’ve seen him active on FB twice since then.
    I’m trying to talking myself out of feeling this way but
    gosh…I feel a little bit rejected. I know there was some pushing away on my part but it was still his decision to Go.
    He is the masculine energy.

    I feel kind of silly but
    I guess a little part of me was hopeful that he would show up and like Want me really bad or sumting.
    I feel a little sad.
    I going to take a hot bath and ease some tension

  392.  #392Butterfly Wings on October 16, 2012 at 2:56 am

    Oh wow! Congrats LG! xxx

  393.  #393Tam on October 16, 2012 at 2:57 am

    (((Heart))) – feeling rejected is the pants.

    LG, what lovely news!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  394.  #394Butterfly Wings on October 16, 2012 at 3:03 am

    Still catching up but wanted to post about my “date” tonight. We met at a bar and he bought me a couple of drinks and we just talked and talked and talked.

    He is a lovely guy, but I have no romantic interest in him at all, although I LURVE his Canadian accent! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    After I left, I was standing by the road at a set of traffic lights, and a car went past slowly and a guy yelled out, “Oooohhh! You are STUNNING!”.

    Wow. Now if THAT won’t boost my vibe, nothing will! lol I have had a spring in my step ever since! Haha!

    I am now looking forward to a girl’s night out on Saturday night!

    TH who??? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  395.  #395Heart on October 16, 2012 at 3:15 am



    thanks for the hug…(-_-;)

  396.  #396Tam on October 16, 2012 at 3:23 am

    Heart ๐Ÿ™‚

    I also wanted to say ‘feeling rejected’ is not always the same as ‘being rejected’….
    but it’s a horrible feeling alright.

    Onwards and upwards!!

    On another note, I met a true born Floridian outdoor Surfer-man the other day on the beach….very rare to find down here. He is unable to make any plans though, so he’s been calling/texting…I guess he is a bit shy. Or it’s just a Floridian thing. Mr You know who was the same. Boys, it’s not hard to say ‘dinner on Wed, is that ok?’ Whatever.
    I guess they too suffer from being and feeling rejected, at least that’s what I hear a lot.

    Got to be careful with the blonde surfer Floridian type..they do get me all hot and bothered, see Mr You know who (I don’t want to talk about him anymore, so..) and a couple of years ago I met another Blondie Yacht Broker sexy Florida man who told me he was separated….WELL, Ladies, I know a friend of his and just heard him and his wife had a second baby. Strange separation…I kinda knew he was feedin’ me lines though.

    Oh well.

  397.  #397Heart on October 16, 2012 at 3:33 am

    Tam – Yay for Blonde Surfer dude. I hope he mans-up and asks you out.
    Oh god – that “separated” line…or about to be divorced line….Classic shady married guy move.

  398.  #398Heart on October 16, 2012 at 3:36 am

    BW – awesome…

  399.  #399Tam on October 16, 2012 at 3:36 am

    Heart, yep. It got better. Once he realised I wasn’t interested anymore (he was also a bit dense, soooo not attractive no matter how handsome a guy is), he opened up and told me he goes with ‘female’ friends to swingers clubs.
    Poor wifey, at home holding the baby having no idea. I’d rather stay alone then end up with a guy like that….

  400.  #400Silver Moonbeam on October 16, 2012 at 3:50 am

    #12 FW

    “Older men have a huge blind spot when it comes to age. They refuse to even consider women their own age, even if sheโ€™s fit and attractive. Worse, theyโ€™re hypocritical about it, because they donโ€™t understand why the vast majority of younger women wonโ€™t go for them.”

    Ain’t this the truth! They also have very warped man mirrors!!

    I know personally one guy who is 55 who has made a fake profile putting himself as 35 (!!!) convinced all the hot young women are going to be falling over themselves to get to him!!! :-O

  401.  #401Heart on October 16, 2012 at 3:51 am

    Tam – yuck…me too…

  402.  #402Tam on October 16, 2012 at 3:55 am

    SMB, I know more than one who have made themselves younger by between 2-10 years on dating websites.
    ‘I just don’t have anything in common with women my age’. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  403.  #403Butterfly Wings on October 16, 2012 at 3:55 am

    I’ve been worried I was pregnant over the last few days. Severe bloating, period didn’t start properly, plus a few other “symptoms”. But tonight things started flowing as they should be. I feel soooooooooooooo grateful!

    And I have a feeling that TH might be history… I am really letting go of him emotionally. It feels painful but good at the same time….

  404.  #404Goddess Lily on October 16, 2012 at 4:44 am

    Janie baby,

    I completely agree. I didn’t go to s factor since I’m not in those cities. I went to a local studio. But now I have two poles in my house!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  405.  #405Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 4:51 am

    BW I believe if I were wearing your shoes I would want to be very clear with myself about that. You seem to constantly go back and forth about TH being history since I have started to read your story. Or at least it is the impression I have.

  406.  #406Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 4:52 am

    RE 400 Poor chap.

  407.  #407Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 4:57 am

    Gazelle your story feels real good to read.

  408.  #408Tam on October 16, 2012 at 5:25 am

    Baggage reclaim, wow that strikes home:

    The person calls and asks for something โ€”โ€” > They spring into action even though they have reservations โ€”> They think that maybe โ€˜this timeโ€™ itโ€™s for real โ€”โ€“> They feel validated by receiving the call and doing whatever it was that was asked (they feel needed, valued, more important than someone else theyโ€™re involved with etc) โ€”> The relationship doesnโ€™t materialise โ€”> They feel despondent โ€”> They wonder why what they did wasnโ€™t enough โ€”> They think about how they need to move on and forget this person โ€”-> Some time passes (possibly the same amount of time as usual) โ€”->The person calls but doesnโ€™t ask for something โ€”โ€” > They are curious and take the call โ€”โ€“> They feel validated and hopeful along with other short-term feel good emotions although they no doubt feel cautious โ€”> Theyโ€™re afraid to tell them to jog on because what if this time is different? What if this time itโ€™s for real? โ€”> They sleep together / hang out โ€”->The relationship doesnโ€™t materialise โ€”> They feel despondent โ€”> They wonder why what they did wasnโ€™t enough โ€”> They think about how they need to move on and forget this person โ€”-> Some time passes (possibly the same amount of time as usual) โ€”-> Andโ€ฆ. lather, rinse, repeat.

  409.  #409Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 5:51 am


    Love Note of the Week:
    Taking responsibility is the first step in Creating Love On Purpose.

    “By taking responsibility for our feelings, our actions, and our outcomes we put ourselves in the driver’s seat to create the change that we desire. This process is not something that can be done for us, each individual who desires to take control of their life must first take their power back. The point of power is always in the present moment, not in the story of past events, or in dreaming of the future. Remember, YOU are the common denominator in all of your relationships.”

    We are here to support you on your path to love.

    Love and Abundance,

    Orna and Matthew

  410.  #410Calypso on October 16, 2012 at 5:53 am

    I leaned back after JC was so distant on Saturday at my house and now he is calling me every evening to chat, telling me how much he misses me, inviting me to lunch tomorrow and to spend the weekend with him . . . the dance is so funny once you understand how it works.

    I can feel us getting closer – it feels like a nice slow dance, no drama, no tears – could be the start of a loving relationship. This Thursday makes our 2 month anniversary of our first date. It feels like we are doing this right. Might have to use the “L” word here pretty soon – lol. That would feel very good.

  411.  #411Mochaberri on October 16, 2012 at 6:18 am

    @ FW #408 – I love this post!!!!!

  412.  #412Tam on October 16, 2012 at 6:22 am

    I used to find baggage reclaim a bit harsh…now I realise the reason for this might have been that I had few boundaries and was too soft (on the inside).
    As I revisit the site, it totally rings true right now.

  413.  #413Sassy on October 16, 2012 at 6:57 am

    I, too, have gotten a lot of eye-opening wake-up calls from the baggage reclaim site. It’s almost like she has been behind me the past few years witnessing everything that’s been happening in my life, aghhhh scary stuff!

  414.  #414Tam on October 16, 2012 at 7:06 am know, I didn’t like her labelling people as ‘assclowns’ and judging them – because each and every person, man and woman has their own story and some of them very sad.
    However, I recognise myself as one of those fallback girls, believing the best, giving people a chance – and not hinged on any reality of what is in front of me.
    I needed a reality check.

  415.  #415Emerson on October 16, 2012 at 7:26 am

    409 this has been my pattern with RecycledCD.
    We haven’t talked since June (at my prompting to stop contact) and I’ve been feeling the urge time to time to call and reach out etc…

    After reading this baggage reclaim I see the pattern really clear and it needs to stop. It’s so crazy!

    I have a lot of business to catch up on today but I am going to do some networking as well and try to improve my situation. I need to get some things rolling in a better direction with my job!

  416.  #416Dominique on October 16, 2012 at 7:27 am

    I feel curious Ruth and Sassy why you fear being judged and here of all places. Yes it can become a bit feisty at times, but judgement?

    What is it within you? Do you fear your own tendency to judge? We all do this by the way which I recently wrote about, and this is not necessarily a negative. It’s what you do with the judgmental thoughts after which is important.

    Do you fear appearing stupid, silly, or something else which you deem a “bad” thing? We all have our stories like these. And so what? What does it matter what others think? You know who you are, and this is what matters.

    I’m not saying you need to share your stories. I do encourage you to explore why this is a fear you have.


  417.  #417Emerson on October 16, 2012 at 7:28 am

    Hi tam! I think she’s funny when she says “assclowns” and her lingo about “jog on” makes me laugh! I think it’s good to laugh but I don’t take it as a bad insult to anyone. Sometimes these guys are assclowns!!!

  418.  #418Emerson on October 16, 2012 at 7:31 am

    I need a new car and I need to move. I feel overwhelmed because I’m working so hard but I’m not getting what I need financially to get ahead. What’s the problem with me? Why am I creating this?

  419.  #419Tam on October 16, 2012 at 7:32 am

    418..yes Emerson..I am coming ’round to that also.
    Assclowns be gone ๐Ÿ™‚

  420.  #420MissStix on October 16, 2012 at 7:34 am

    Janie baby 371

    It’s all about you girl! A shift in yourself and your vibe and energy will have you worrying less about how much time he wants to spend with you. These shifts in vibe are what are truly inspirational for a man. Composing feeling messages around this is seriously tricksy….Because no, you don’t want to pressure and you don’t want to cling and feel bad because “he wants…” or “he doesn’t want…” Can’t lie…It’s not a good place to come from. Releasing him as the cause of your feelings is a great start! Releasing any need for him to do anything at all is another great start. Counterintuitive, yes. But the best way to inspire a man is to not try to inspire him at all! Go ahead and inspire yourself instead.

    In order to do this we must dig far far deeper to find the true root of our feelings. Under the jealousy of other girls there may be desire, unfulfillment, frustration, anxiety.

    Jealousy is the end zone. It is not the playing field. It looks a little like this…

    I feel desire to be wanted by a man and to have his full and undivided attention. I feel unfulfilled because I am not receiving the attention I desire. I feel anxious because I don’t feel confident or capable of receiving this without pushing or pressuring for it.

    Now I feel jealous of other girls who do receive this effortlessly. Now I feel urgent to get there myself. Now I feel irritated and angry and down and hopeless and lost.

    And now you can feel stoked and excited because you CAN get there! It just takes practice and dedication. Dive in deep and you will find success. I have found my success is coming in stages and I feel like I keep shedding skins and the more I shed the more truly amazing I feel. I feel amazing even when I feel totally angry or sad. And anyone can do this!

  421.  #421new siren on October 16, 2012 at 7:42 am

    Wow Miss Stix, I know that message was for Janie but it spoke to me…thank you:)

  422.  #422MissStix on October 16, 2012 at 7:51 am

    Yay! Unintentional inspiration ๐Ÿ˜€

  423.  #423new siren on October 16, 2012 at 8:02 am


  424.  #424Ulii on October 16, 2012 at 8:05 am

    @ 421 MissStix

    Thanks! I feel inspired too!

  425.  #425ruth on October 16, 2012 at 8:07 am

    My situation is rather complicated and—–hm, feels hard to know what to say here
    Right now I am choosing to stay in this sitaution whilst recognising it is far from ideal, or healthy for me
    Sorry to be cryptic

    I am judging myself harshly enough because of it

  426.  #426ruth on October 16, 2012 at 8:10 am

    421 Miss stix
    I feel envious of you but inspired at the same time
    I have such a long way to go myself and am feeling a little hopeless about everything today

  427.  #427Tam on October 16, 2012 at 8:14 am

    (((Ruth))) well you don’t have to share, but we won’t judge you…we want to make you feel good…and maybe you could get some relief…
    I believe you know best ๐Ÿ™‚

  428.  #428ruth on October 16, 2012 at 8:17 am

    If I knew best I wouldnt be in tnis mess

    ha ha

  429.  #429MissStix on October 16, 2012 at 8:18 am

    I think I re-wired my brain…I feel cleansed in my soul.

    I feel different. I feel like I was never truly me. All those layers and layers of thick skins and fears and shields and misinformation. Misguided girl. Not truly me. I imagine all the time what it would feel like to bump into people I have not seen in a long time…It would feel twinkly and smiley and happy and also a little mysterious. I imagine they would look at me like they couldn’t put their finger on something and I giggle inside because I am 100% fully aware of every finite detail of myself at all times. Like I have a fancy little secret with myself. Oh I would love to bump into someone!

    I have observed my meeting new people is effortless. Mmmm so aware! Met a new man person yesterday. Eye contact. A full, genuine smile spread on my face. I felt some bubbliness and intrigued feelings. My eyes felt clear and open. Firm handshake. Tall posture. I leaned slightly forward to bridge the space. I felt some electricity crackle on my skin. I felt confident. I am also becoming aware of others’ feelings through body language. I watched his eyes go from blank to curious to intrigued to thoughtful to nervous all in the span of a handshake. 5 seconds. And he broke the eye contact by a glance sideways and then quickly back and then I looked at G. I also observed that my boss looked like she felt nervous and jittery during an interaction with me. Side to side stepping and a little hand wringing. Her eyes were hard to catch. She mostly was looking at places on my body (my hands, shoulders, nose). She was only asking me to sighn my employee review (which was glowing ๐Ÿ™‚ ).

    Mmm I feel very observant and intrigued.

  430.  #430Tam on October 16, 2012 at 8:21 am

    429…ah yes, Ruth, well….aren’t we all there, or in and out of the mess…isn’t that what being human is all about? Would be easier if we were machines, eh? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  431.  #431ruth on October 16, 2012 at 8:31 am

    I am a sentient mess, I suppose

  432.  #432MissStix on October 16, 2012 at 8:34 am

    Wow…Thank you ladies.

    You are all glorious!

    Ruth…I don’t know how to say what I feel reading that. Pheeewwwee I puffed a little breath out up into my hair. I don’t think I want to be envied. I do love to feel like I am an inspiration rather than a disappointment lol I felt like a disappointment (to myself, to men) most of my life. I dunno…It just feels really strange to see and think I am enviable. :p My strongest desire in this moment is for every woman to envy only herself.

  433.  #433ruth on October 16, 2012 at 8:37 am


    Miss stix

    You already seemed to bevery tuned in to your feminine energy and be conversant with feeling messages when I first came to the Blog but now, well, I can feel this HUGE energy coming from you
    On the flipping internet!

    I can vaguely recall once or twice having a similar vibe, but sadly it has always been in relation to my work

    Rambling and talking tripe now!

  434.  #434Dancing Siren on October 16, 2012 at 8:41 am


    I haven’t been on the blog for a while (just reading a bit), because there is so much going on at the moment, all good stuff ๐Ÿ™‚

    Anyway I have been posting on my blog quite a bit recently, and the most recent post is entitled ’15 Fun Dates for Cheap or Free’.

    Thought y’all might be interested so here is a link:

  435.  #435Ulii on October 16, 2012 at 8:41 am

    @ 430 Miss Stix

    I agree with Ruth on this…”I can feel this HUGE energy coming from you”.. this vibe is something I would like to get to some day. ๐Ÿ™‚

  436.  #436Ulii on October 16, 2012 at 8:42 am


  437.  #437Dominique on October 16, 2012 at 8:45 am

    Ruth – 426 – Why are you judging yourself? Can you not be loving and kind to yourself? Whatever your experience have been or still are in your life, they are YOURS, and you can learn and grow from them, change your patterns, or you can keep the status quo.

    You are here, so you’ve already chosen the former.

    So YAY you. <3


  438.  #438ruth on October 16, 2012 at 8:46 am

    thank you Ulii
    I feel mixed up today
    Not sure if I want to laugh or cry
    Not that my situation is in any way *actually* funny

    Ach, still, I got a fair bit done at work today and spread some kindness at the same time

    It is not all bad

  439.  #439MissStix on October 16, 2012 at 8:50 am

    I chose to stop denying my beautiful humanity. And I feel sad and hot tears behind my eyes because I do see it in everyone. I do feel frustrated and urgent and desperate when I see others deny that in themselves. Like I want to slap my hand down on the table and shout STOP. Grrrr You are glorious! Stop denying it.

  440.  #440ruth on October 16, 2012 at 8:52 am

    Thank you Dominique
    If I am being honest, I got into Roris stuff with a view to getting a certain result in my situation
    I still think like that sometimes

    But, yes, I suppose I am still here and exploring, so one bit of me must actually want to change even if i am resisting that strenuously

  441.  #441Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 9:11 am

    Ruth a friend from my past, over 20 years ago, contacted me today. She said the last time we spoke you were talking marriage, hope you are enjoying your golden years. I felt tearyeyed, nauseous and like a stab in my stomach all at once. Why? I ask myself. I have made so many mistakes in my life. Seen myself as that girl chasing after men and never getting it. Then when I do get it, there is a lot of regrets and trembling. I believe some sort of shift has taken place in my life, around relationships and life in general. But rest assured that I am not all there yet. I respect those that pat themselves on the back and are happy about how great their life is going but I can’t necessarily say that about myself. I have come a long way but still have a long way to go. I can’t speak for anyone else but I know I am in position to judge you. I keep encouraging you to stick your head of out the shell because I get a sense that you want to but get scared too easily. I again want to encourage you to just pour it all out. If nothing else you will be further down your evolution road and be happier for it. Believe me.

  442.  #442Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 9:14 am

    RE 438 I am not always loving and kind to myself but I have committed to repeating certain words to myself as my self talk. Even when I don’t believe it. The tears may well up in my eyes as I say them but I am committed enough to myself to believe that I can be fully happy one day.

  443.  #443ruth on October 16, 2012 at 9:14 am

    thank you FW

  444.  #444ruth on October 16, 2012 at 9:21 am

    I am sure I have mentioned this before but a few years ago, my then therapist asked me why I would choose to listen to a record I didnt like
    Surely, I would just change it

    She said it could be the same with negative self talk
    Cant seem to do it
    I feel frustrated

  445.  #445Heart on October 16, 2012 at 9:21 am

    So I feel asleep…and woke up to realize that my friend has tagged me in some pitctures with that guy I met at the party last weekend…ArtistCd.
    Then I see I have a message from him-inviting me again to a party he is having.
    I feel happy to see this…He is so Interesting…

    My inner witch is hoping CudG sees the pics and gets jealous…She feels vindicated.
    I am looking forward to seeing ArtistCd.

  446.  #446Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 9:22 am

    Hi Mochaberri

  447.  #447Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Hi ,

    Oftentimes, weโ€™re more critical of ourselves than of other people.

    Do you ever say things to yourself like…

    โ€œIโ€™m not good enough…

    Iโ€™m stupid…

    Iโ€™m unlovable…

    I donโ€™t work hard enough…โ€

    I know, harsh, but for many of us, this critical voice dominates much of our thinking.

    (tapping link removed by request)

  448.  #448ruth on October 16, 2012 at 9:35 am

    ooh, that looks intriguing FW

  449.  #449Heart on October 16, 2012 at 9:40 am

    #442 – (((FW)))

  450.  #450Ulii on October 16, 2012 at 9:40 am


    Iยดm always telling I want a more masculine cd. And when I am about to have one.. I feel so afraid. Like totally out of my comfort zone.
    But I feel excited too.

  451.  #451Dominique on October 16, 2012 at 10:00 am

    This healing business is a journey, not a destination. There is no there to to. There will always be something to let go of, to heal, to expand on. There will always be a bigger blossom to grow into.

    And this is a wonderful thing.

    It can and does feel easier, as you rewire old habits and patterns, open yourself to any and all possibility.

    Please love on your own path, for it is uniquely yours, and it IS BEAUTIFUL.


  452.  #452Tam on October 16, 2012 at 10:09 am

    ((FW)) ((Ruth)) ((me))
    all in the same boat ladies, all in the same boat.

  453.  #453Laughing Goddess on October 16, 2012 at 10:15 am

    Thanks for the love, ladies!!!

    I’m feeling soooo satisfied because I put a bunch of ingredients in the crockpot last night and woke up to a delicious stew!!!

    I’ve never done that before. I had the temperature too low so the sweet potatoes and celery were still a bit too crunchy but the overall flavor was so tasty. I kept going back for more and now I am a little uncomfortably full.

    I am in love with food at the moment and have been pouring over recipes and coming up with all sorts of ideas. I feel so passionate about it. I feel kinda embarassed and worried that people might think I have an eating obsession but its actually quite the opposite.

    I’m normally one of those people that doesn’t care about food and can go forever without eating and it’s really not good for me at all. I feel weak and emotional and drained and well, malnourished. So me caring about nourishing myself is quite a good thing…especially because I have and will have extra nutritional requirements for a while. ๐Ÿ™‚

    So yes, I feel satisfied and happy with myself for making such a delicious concoction and soon I will be off to an appt to interview a possible midwife with my sweets. It’s really about time that we decide on someone and commit. I already have my favorite but there is one woman we haven’t seen yet and I would feel better getting to know her before making a decision.

    I also feel inspired to organize my clothes today. I’ve been feeling a but frumpy. I’m still pretty small but am putting on some weight and really want to prioritize looking nice.

    I’ve been feeling tuned in to the subtle dynamics between my guy and I am while he says he is totally committed and I feel it and see it in his actions, I do want to take care of myself and remain attractive. I can sometime get in a frump slump and that doesn’t feel good at all.

    So I feel inspired to spend some time in the goddess temple (my little room where I keep my clothes and special things) and get it organized so that its easy for me to get ready and feel beautiful and radiant.

  454.  #454Femininewoman on October 16, 2012 at 10:19 am

    But during the transition, you may very well have difficulty feeling connected to him and even to yourself. Your relationship may feel on hold, for in this interim time while you are seeking to find each other again in a better and healthier way. Things may feel weird, bland, vanilla, or they may feel disorienting, upside down and inside out. You may feel undesired and thus undesirable if heโ€™s withdrawn, as he processes which he likely will. You may fear ever feeling good with him again. And your gremlins may be running wild within you.

  455.  #455Laughing Goddess on October 16, 2012 at 10:21 am

    In fact, I would like to set the goal of getting up every morning and getting ready and dressed (like flylady says). Because I work from home, it’s so easy for me to not do that.

    I can think of so many ways that I would feel better if I made a habit of getting beautified first thing in the morning.

    I would feel more inspired to get out and do fun things like shop for clothes, visit with friends, take dance lessons.

    I would feel more comfortable being flirtatious and sireny.

    So yes, this is my promise to myself. I don’t know why but it feels really hard. It’s like I need some sort of motivation to beautify myself. Could I really make this a habit where I just do it every day no matter what?

    This feels like a big thing for me.

  456.  #456Iamabutterfly on October 16, 2012 at 10:25 am

    I feel so embarassed about my ups and downs!

    but there really is no reason to feel embarassed. it’s normal and I’m healing and it’s okay!

    I feel great today.

    Today feels fresh, new, and exciting.

    I love my best friend. I love when she is angry, sad, lonely, and even a little clingy sometimes, because it is what makes her human.

    Because she accepts me when I am those ways…

    If I can love my best friend like that, I can love a man like that…

    If I can love a man like that, I can love myself like that…

    LongDistanceDate talked to me on fb last night. He was in a baaad, feel-sorry-for-me mood.

    It felt irritating at first, but I was in a really good mood, so I felt playful, and just kind of typed out my playfulness, and he said it was making him feel better.

    and it felt so good to make him feel better!

    Given that I had just been feeling low, it felt great that I had gotten out of it, and could help someone else get out of it.

  457.  #457Laughing Goddess on October 16, 2012 at 10:26 am

    I think it feels hard because I find it to be boring. I wonder if I could find some way to make it feel fun???

    Maybe set up some speakers back there so I could listen to inspirational music and talks? That could make it feel more interesting.

    I have actually been wanting to make a habit of listening to something inspiring first thing in the morning. Maybe I could kill two birds with one stone.

    Yes! This could work!

  458.  #458Laughing Goddess on October 16, 2012 at 10:28 am

    I love it that it’s mid-October and I am sitting outside and the sun feels so bright and warm!!!

    Thank you Universe!

    The sun on my face feels incredible and so healing!

  459.  #459Tam on October 16, 2012 at 10:41 am

    455, thanks FW for posting.
    Very inspiring and uplifting article, Dominique. I believe it speaks to a lot of us on here, including me.

  460.  #460ruth on October 16, 2012 at 10:51 am


    I love autumn and slow cooking

    thank you LG

    I feel warmer now

  461.  #461Sassy on October 16, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Dominique – 417

    I cant speak for Ruth or anyone else for that matter. But as I stated in #4, I don’t like confrontation. I don’t believe anyone likes to be judged, and yes, we do all do it. I’m trying very hard not to judge people so harshly as I have in the past.
    Of course, we all want to be liked, even those of us who arrogantly state they don’t care what people think of them.
    Anyway, my feelings around not being comfortable about writing certain information here stem from witnessing sirens get attacked for telling their stories and asking for help, expressing their feelings and yes, being judged. They then refuse to continue to post. I certainly have fears, and am doing my best to learn what my path is. I’m trying to be loving and provide positive encouragement here, because at the end of the day, life, love, and relationships are tough enough.

  462.  #462ruth on October 16, 2012 at 11:14 am

    I have to force myself to do the beauty thang, but thats more related to low self esteem about how I look.its not worth the bother etc

    Once a week,I make a point of wearing nice lingerie
    It feels a bit fake, but eventually it might work

  463.  #463Dominique on October 16, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Yes thank you FW for posting this bit which has a typo.

    I do appreciate that you post excerpts whenever a new piece of mine goes up. <3


  464.  #464ruth on October 16, 2012 at 11:20 am

    My situation would horribly trigger many Sirens on here, so, I wont be specific, if thats okay
    But I learn so much about personal growth and feeling mesages on here

    Mind you, you would have laughed yesterday

    I am nornaly very articulate
    I had thiught for ages abiut a script
    I didnt actually write it down but it was in my head and all in feeling messages with pauses for replies

    Could i get it out of my mouth?


    I ended up umming and ahhing and apologsisng and porbably not getting anything acrosss
    I felt totally paralysed

  465.  #465Dominique on October 16, 2012 at 11:22 am

    Sassy – Hugs, and I do understand. I just wanted to have you be clear on it all.

    A suggestion? It may or may not be true that life and love is tough, yet you can change how you feel about it. If you can tell yourself it’s all easy and effortless, at the very least, it will take the edge off.

    Love to you.


  466.  #466Tam on October 16, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Triggers are good but I do understand the not wanting to share…
    and I also understand the ‘not getting it out of the mouth’…I can’t usually. My feeling messages seem pretty fake to me, even if they try to convey what I am actually really feeling…and I am also very articulate.
    I just don’t get it.

  467.  #467Sassy on October 16, 2012 at 11:40 am

    New thread up! Hate when we’re all in the middle of good posting and have to move over…
    Anyway, thank you Dominique. Yes, I will try to change my thinking and feeling and try to see it as easy and effortless.
    As you say, it’s a journey and mine is just beginning.
    Oh Ruth and Tam- I too have such a hard time expressing my feelings out loud. I think it’s because for a very long time, I didn’t feel anything!

  468.  #468MissStix on October 16, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Sassy, I am goung to use some of your words for my own processing. I am definitely going to disagree with you so I just want to first say I am not attempting to spark an argument or even a discussion…I just felt and thought some things reading you and want to type it out for my own benefit! Of course, anyone is free to respond. Just don’t want to be misunderstood ๐Ÿ™‚

    I see “arrogantly state they don’t care what people think…” and I feel slightly irritated by this. I ask myself why? Do I think I don’t care what people think of me…Hmmm no. Not necessarily. I feel a lil confused. Do I even think this is an arrogant way of thinking? No. Not really…I would feel more arrogant assuming I must always act or speak in a way that I believe would be “likable” to everyone. I would feel more arrogant to assume no one likes me. Or everyone likes me. Or everyone should like me. hmmmm so what is it for me? How do I remove myself from the restraints of being bound by what people think…I guess I can just kind of respect that everyone has an opinion. I can feel cool with thinking the opinion of “me” will differ vastly depending on who is forming the opinion. I can conjure an image of a person in my mind saying to me “I just simply don’t like you. I think you’re weird.” and I can say “ok…cool. I respect that!” i’m not for everyone. Ahhh yeah. That feels calm and good. Thank you for this trigger.

  469.  #469Janie Baby on October 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    THanks Miss Stix, great advice!!! <3

  470.  #470Tereana on October 17, 2012 at 12:18 am

    Janie Baby – I’m happy you liked it! ๐Ÿ™‚

  471.  #471James on October 17, 2012 at 12:40 am

    There are many shades between feisty and a doormat. All men are going to be somewhere on that spectrum. They will more often than not like a certain kind of girl and be more inclined to form relationships with them. The same for women obviously.

    You are who you are at the end of the day. You have to ask yourself how much you want the relationship and how much you are willing to change. That is if you don’t feel you fit the profile of the partner you want.

    We all need to adjust to bring harmony to a relationship. We just need to figure out how big an adjustment we are comfortable with.

  472.  #472Jeannette on October 17, 2012 at 6:06 am

    Radlove, I haven’t dated since my fiance passed 16 months ago. I seem to be in a stall mode..Maybe afraid of more hurt. Don’t know. Other then that not much to report. Would love to have something wonderful to tell you of course! Thanks for asking. How have you been Radlove?

  473.  #473Femininewoman on October 17, 2012 at 6:29 am

    Jeannette how is your healing from the loss going?

  474.  #474Rori Raye on October 17, 2012 at 10:17 am

    James, I’m letting this thru for now, if is you. I don’t allow men on the site anymore, it compromises the “girlness” of the blog – but professionally, I’m happy to let everyone see who you are and what you’re doing out there. I can’t get you into moderation once I’ve approved this, so if you’re really a professional coach, and want to post here, please use your full professional name so I can see each post before I let it through – just being careful! Sincerely, Rori

  475.  #475Jeannette on October 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Femininewoman, It has been most difficult..but it has been 16 months now and starting to feel somewhat on more level ground again..I realized just how much I loved Steve when he died..I knew I did…but you really find out how much after they are gone. Thanks for have you been? Anything new?

  476.  #476BAB on October 19, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Ok I have a question that has been weighing on my mind for a while now.
    Is it counter productive to let go of what’s going on in my relationship at the moment and do the steps to making my self happier and my relationship happier. But at the same time having a back up plan as far as where to live if at the end of my, as I call it thinking period, nothing has changed? Any thoughts would be helpful! Thanks

  477.  #477Radlove on October 23, 2012 at 9:32 am


    472 – I pray for you when you come to mind. I know it is a long, dark struggle to come up out of something so tragic.

  478.  #478Asia on December 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    I cant live like this anymore. Is not him, its me. I am trying to always keep positive, not listening to the nasty voice, but she always wins. I hate the nasty voice. She has made my life so difficult. I dont even know how I got here. I used to be so strong, now I’m so weak. I do not trust myself. I do not trust if I found out he is hurting me behind my back that I will be able to defend myself by leaving. I am weak. I have been trying to heal myself by doing all that you’ve written, reading positive affirmations, books, cutting out the negatives, I even started seeing a therapist but I feel hopeless. I have gone against my beliefs of things I thought I’d never do (go through his things). Am I looking for things, (and then ignoring them)? Or am I trying to stay ahead of the hurt? How do I decipher whats the nasty voice, or whats intuition or my gut feeling that is truly trying to protect me? The thing is, it happens to me in every relationship. I am the strongest when I’m single. But I cant be single for my entire life.

    I try to do things I like, but finances have me strapped.

    Help me. More so for myself, than for my relationship.

  479.  #479Rori Raye on December 21, 2012 at 8:38 am

    Asia – You’re going about this wrong – and it’s easy to do with all the “affirmation” and “manifesting” advice out there. I know if you’re only reading newsletters that you can get different ideas, even from my work – but try this: LOVE YOUR NASTY VOICE. The problem here is that you’re struggling with her, hating her – when really, your Nasty Voice is just your Inner Child, your inside little girl. Love her, embrace her. She’s just scared and screaming. Hear her out, and start to learn to trust yourself by OWNING that YOU are in charge. Love her, hear her – but don’t DO WHAT SHE SAYS. In other words – just because you love her doesn’t mean you have to follow her instructions, and believe what she says. She’s just a 2-year old crying and screaming and tantrumming. Love her and be in charge of ALL of you. We’ll help you stop putting so much energy into men. Love, Rori