Are You Getting Through?

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030-220Please let me know directly if you’re having trouble accessing the blog, or commenting on it…write Melanie@CoachRori.com.

There’s just so much spam coming in constantly from automated sources all over the world, sometimes the spam blockers on the site get overactive…and I want to make sure you all get through.

Now – are you getting through, or getting blocked in other areas of your life?

Sometimes it feels like you’re banging your head against a brick wall, and sometimes it feels like you’re gliding through sunlight down a clear path leading all the way to forever…

For me, the difference is in my perception.

For me, it’s how I react to what I “perceive” of as “reality.”

A lot of “big” concepts there…and I know when I just let my body go, and stop trying to DO anything….everything shifts instantly…

Let me know where you’re feeling “blocked” – and I’ll answer your questions!

Love, Rori

 

 

 

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165 Comments

  1.  #1April Rose on November 7, 2013 at 9:11 am

    Hi Rori,

    We’re in an astrologically challenging time at the moment. Mercury is retrograde and we are in the aftermath of a total solar eclipse.
    Things should unblock generally within a week or so from now.



  2.  #2Iris on November 7, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Recently, I’ve been feeling insecure with a group of friends , and it makes me feel insecure in other aspects in my life. As I start to feel needy, I am attempting to lean back, and enjoy that lost feeling.



  3.  #3Femininewoman on November 7, 2013 at 10:06 am

    I have started to get through again but had challenges in the past.



  4.  #4LoveAlways on November 7, 2013 at 11:02 am

    I used to feel blocked romantically, and professionally, and like Rori noted, I realized it was a matter of perception. In both realms, the lesson to learn (and keep) is to put myself first, do what makes me feel good, and never ever let that go or change!! And now I don’t feel blocked anymore. There are hurdles indeed, but I’m not blocked. The hard part is always keeping the focus on me and losing me or letting myself go. It is a constant thing. Thanks for making feel this out Rori! 😀



  5.  #5LoveAlways on November 7, 2013 at 11:03 am

    *not losing me …



  6.  #6Zara on November 7, 2013 at 11:08 am

    In this present moment, I am gliding on the road between Paris and the tunnel under the Channel, towards London. I am riding a huge coach and there are only 7 passengers. We are having fun. This is much more comfortable than Eurostar and I am using the bus wifi to write from my Ipad. My fiancé will be expecting me at Victoria coach station in London, and we will drive another 40 minutes home. He took an appointment with the shop where my weddding dress have arrived and they are expecting me tomorrow night for the first fitting.
    This is getting real. And it all started by me promising Sirenity before she took her plane back to Australia that I was going to apply to myself the advice I give to others lol.
    I then created a profile made of feeling messages and I uploaded the pics Sirenity took on the lovers’ bridge in Paris with the key locks.
    Within the first month, men were glidîng towards me, wanting to take me to the same bridge to lock a lock with me and throw the key in the river Seine. My first reaction would have beeen to laugh it off. But I had promised myself to apply letting things unfold, letting men be happy to be themselves and letting them feel proud of´their ideas and dreams. I stopped myself from judging the idea stupid coming from´totaĺ strangers and I let the men guide me. I learned to glide.

    My fiance was one of the men from the first month.
    21 months later he is the same romantic , crazy in love. He was not stupid nor in a delirium when he took me to Paris for a first date and to the lovers’ bridge and took a lock out of his pocket, out of´the blue. He locked it to the lovers’ bridge, gave me one of the two keys and threw his key into the river Seine.
    I did not laugh. I respected where he was at, and who he showed he was and I let him do what he wanted to do. I told him my truth. “I felt good that he was honouring me with this symbolic gesture. I felt special and this felt extraordinary good and that’s what I wanted to feel for me to get to a point where I would accept to marry a man. I was enjoying the moment and felt moved that he would do that for me, yet on my side I was not feeling in alignment with throwing the key. I was going to keep´it in my pocket until it talked to me.” He agreed to that.

    3 months later, in may, I was accepting his engagement ring.
    The following automn, after a 3 months stay at his home in England, I went back in my home in France. There, as I was putting my winter coat on for the first time after the spring and the summer, I felt the key in my pocket. That’s when I knew.
    I put the key in a hand made écrin which I placed under the christmas tree with a card.
    When time came to open his presents, and he realized what he was looking at, a tear shined in the corner of his eye. He said “I have been dreaming of this moment since the day I met you.”

    Tonight, I am gliding towards freedom. I feel free and happy and excited.
    Ups!… We just reached the border, so I got to stop writing, coz of passport control and no wifi under the sea…. Au revoir, bisous.

    xxx



  7.  #7Sophie on November 7, 2013 at 11:47 am

    wow Zara i never knew your story x that feels so beautiful and romantic to read x and flowy! it feels unblocked! xxx



  8.  #8Femininewoman on November 7, 2013 at 11:54 am

    Zara I feel so happy that you are finally sharing your romance story here.



  9.  #9Sophie on November 7, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    April Rose and Veronica

    Thank you so much for your posts to me on the last blog 🙂 I felt very touched that my thoughts and experiences may have been helpful 🙂 –

    Veronica – I have Dominique to thank for always gently guiding me back to my body it feels so counter-intuitive! your excitement for me felt great though! Lets hope there is some un-blocking!

    April Rose (from last blog) – yes absolutely I understand that connection especially as it is so closely related to your family (and your place in the world) I feel like that sometimes if I see my brothers or cousins or the rare people that shared my earlier years with me – yes it is like an affirmation of existence! and also of love



  10.  #10Liquid Light on November 7, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    I am trying to stay on my horse and find a high quality man. When I come across men who aren’t (vast majority of them), I don’t waste my time on them and focus on my vision. I know a lot of you will think I’m a snob or judgmental but to me its just staying on my horse and focusing on what I want. And I want the best. Also, to be honest, I feel I have a lot to offer. I keep myself fit and attractive, I’m fun, I’ve got a great job, and I am learning more and more each day to express my vulnerability. So I believe I’m not asking for anything I am not.

    Zara, beautiful and romantic, OMG!



  11.  #11Magic Seahorse on November 7, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    WOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! ZARA!!!!!!! That was absolutely gloriously stupendously beautiful!! Thank you sweet lady siren for sharing. I feel so full and so full of glee!!!!



  12.  #12Femininewoman on November 7, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    Just heard “flirting makes you feel alive”.



  13.  #13Sophie on November 7, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    12 🙂 I find flirting playful x its doesn’t have to be sexual or loaded x for me it can just be playful and fun and it comes very naturally to me but I am flirtaeous like that with everyone, with life in general x If someone flirts with me and it feels too loaded I just say it feels uncomfortable or I don’t like it and then if I need to I walk away x



  14.  #14Femininewoman on November 7, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Yayy Sophie



  15.  #15Femininewoman on November 7, 2013 at 12:58 pm


  16.  #16Liquid Light on November 7, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    It was interesting on my date the other night. We were having dinner in a nice restaurant, and I was kinda a wreck. But the more I expressed my anger and sadness and upset, the more he tried to impress me. I remember getting back from the bathroom after I left the table because I was upset (and I had to use the bathroom too ;), expecting him to be really uncomfortable, instead, he launches into all these work stories where he accomplished this or that etc. It was really wild and it really surprised me. Has anyone experienced this? Anyone have any insights?



  17.  #17redbutterfly on November 7, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    Congratulations, Zara! What a romantic story!!



  18.  #18April Rose on November 7, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    LL,
    Did you respond letting him know you were impressed with his masculine prowess?



  19.  #19BeLoved on November 7, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    ” still live with WM. I date other men, because I didn’t feel I had the fulfilling relationship I wanted.

    He gets angry and cold at times because I am dating others. He said he is not going to ‘up his game’.”

    Friday, 28 September 2012 @ 2:57pm



  20.  #20Liquid Light on November 7, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    wow, I think I’m getting it…I was expressing my femininity via my vulnerability and that made me more high value so then he wanted to prove his worth to me by bragging/trying to impress me. Wow! It’s amazing how quickly this stuff works, the results were immediate!



  21.  #21Liquid Light on November 7, 2013 at 1:30 pm

    AR, our job is not to praise or compliment men (that’s their job). Our job is to be grateful when they give to us.



  22.  #22April Rose on November 7, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    Well,
    Since last September a lot has happened.
    The less importance I give him, the more the tools work.
    Yesterday he told me with tears in his eyes, how lucky he felt to have found me…???
    Today he shouted. And then apologised ten minutes later. After I told him it was a dealbreaker.



  23.  #23April Rose on November 7, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    LL re 21

    Sounds pretty rigid what you’re saying there.
    I find that appreciating a man and his talents really ramps up the attraction.



  24.  #24April Rose on November 7, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    In my own way, in babysteps, I feel confident that I am moving myself towards high self-esteem and towards the relationship I want.

    Feels good and secure inside my heart.



  25.  #25brenda on November 7, 2013 at 3:20 pm

    I feel blocked in everything I do. The guy I’ve been dealing with rejects me in every way possible and I no contact him for mths and he hates it he barges back in my life somehow.I pull back he comes foward then he pulls away again.This is consuming and smothering my thoughts and my life I need help.



  26.  #26blue rose on November 7, 2013 at 5:22 pm

    Zara, that is absolutely beautiful.

    I am feeling blocked. And I alternate. The guy I’m dating was pursuing me steadily.

    then he went to a wedding out of town. And all my old experiences and insecurities came up. I was dumped right after a wedding – my ex freaked out right there during the rehearsal. a week later he ended it. it took me a long time to get over that.

    I put all of that on my new guy. He didn’t deserve it. None of it. He’s a good guy.

    It didn’t stop. he cancelled on me when he was exhausted, and I told him I was mad.

    He got ill. We have not had a proper date in almost a month now.

    He wanted to come over during the weekend. I was so looking forward to it. And when he cancelled again, I was so angry I told him I didn’t want to see him the next day (he asked if he could come over on Sunday instead) and got off the phone.

    my vibe changed. I was now trying to control him and the relationship. I fear it is damaged.

    I am trying to not think about him, and to stop looking at his facebook, and to just give him space. And it is so hard. I try to remind myself that my goal is marriage, not him. But it’s still so hard. I also try to remind myself that we don’t owe each other anything. Very hard.

    He has not called or texted me in days. It feels like an eternity but in reality it is a few days. But this is someone who was moving towards me. Talking about marriage and kids.

    I feel like a failure, and it is so hard to remind myself that this is all part of the learning process.

    So I’m blocked. I’m not able to stop thinking about him for long. I’m not able to stop expecting from him. And I’m angry. And when i was rereading the ebook, I found myself thinking – why the hell isn’t he reading a book trying to get closer to me?

    I’m blocked. I’m stuck. I’ve slipped backwards. And the road back to where I was when we met looks so long and impossible to travel.



  27.  #27Zia on November 7, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    The only area I am feeling blocked with right now is with regards to my ex, why he is still in my mind, why I keep clinging to him, why I am unable to completely let go of him. But then again, the why I guess doesn’t really matter. As long as I keep moving forward, things will fall into place…..



  28.  #28Zia on November 7, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    I want like to experience how it feels to have a man I love propose to me. I want to experience how it feels to walk down the aisle and have that man waiting for me. Some days I feel it is possible, and others it feels like a fuzzy dream.



  29.  #29Liquid Light on November 7, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    Me too, Zia! It’s powerful and scary to speak it out loud like that, I admire your courage! It WILL happen for both of us! 🙂



  30.  #30Femininewoman on November 7, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    Hi BeLoved



  31.  #31Lisa on November 7, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    @Zara WOOHOOOO so wonderful enjoy and be blissfully happy! <3 all the happiness 2 people can have…

    @Sophie <3 🙂 I do too and I even flirt with babies.. I love that most of all… they love it..

    @LiquidLight me too focus on what you want… don't spend time on what I don't want… <3

    @April Rose I know I'll be glad when mercury is out of retrograde I'm having all kinds of issues show up… <3

    OXOX



  32.  #32BeLoved on November 7, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    Hi FW! You seem a little sassy lately, liking it 😉



  33.  #33Daria on November 7, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    blocked with feeling huge boredom unless i contact men or drive to them.. bec feeling like not many other people (women) that i can interact with and share fun times with live



  34.  #34Daria on November 7, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    Yay Zara 🙂



  35.  #35Daria on November 7, 2013 at 11:37 pm

    i am going to apply what Zara did and take some of my own advice

    i dont want to not drive to some men, that i want to consider friends… i will take it gradually

    i’m already at a new normal of being more aware where my urges are coming from (mood swings etc)

    and am doing good with taking walks/ going to a dance class rather than use a man to give me lifeforce energy feel good feelings



  36.  #36Cris on November 8, 2013 at 5:33 am

    I have no problems posting in the blog.

    and not blocked in my life, continue my (long) journey to shifting and swapping energies with my husband

    🙂



  37.  #37Dominique on November 8, 2013 at 5:53 am

    April Rose – 24 – And I think your way is beautiful. It may not always feel good, yet I have yet to hear of a path which does not have things to trip over or holes to fall into. It’s part of our journey. And if you think you are on the right road for you, then you are.

    The more you shift and change, the more you grow and blossom, the more will he. And you get to choose every step of the way.

    xxoo



  38.  #38Dominique on November 8, 2013 at 5:55 am

    Zia – 27 – You ARE able to let go. You may not want to right now, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. This is apparently what YOU need to heal, and you ARE healing.

    xxoo



  39.  #39Sirana on November 8, 2013 at 7:12 am

    I feel blocked with anger. I really want to get past it but I am still so angry. We have always been on equal ground but now I think he believes I am to blame for the demise of your relationship. As if somehow I have more of the burden. I can accept my half but it is really hard to feel feminine and warm when I want to scream ”how do you think I got this way!” I use to be so stable and unshakable and now I am filled with anxiety and worry all the time. He says he is the calmest he has ever been. Just doesn’t care like he use to.



  40.  #40Femininewoman on November 8, 2013 at 7:33 am

    Sirana I saw one siren encourage another to get the anger out of her by smashing eggs in the bathroom and screaming while she does it. Remember everything is energy so maybe the energy of your anger just wants an outlet. Is there any gym you could use for a day to kinda abuse a punching bag. Or maybe a pillow that you could destroy by punching and screaming as if it were him to see how you would feel after?



  41.  #41Femininewoman on November 8, 2013 at 7:34 am

    Sirana I am also curious about something. Hope you don’t mind my asking. Do you work outside the home? Do you have a job?



  42.  #42Sirana on November 8, 2013 at 7:55 am

    FW – I like your idea of the punching bag. I actually thought about that the other day. I run 4-5 days a week, 2 miles a day, but maybe I need more.

    As for the job, I have to say that makes me laugh a little. I can see why you might ask that as I am so obsessed and in my head so much about this. However, I actually am the owner of a very successful business. I have revenues of a million plus. My husband actually has told me many times that if I treated my personal life like my business life I would be happier. I am very confident in business and in what I do. In my personal relationships, I worry too much and I am insecure. I wasn’t always this way but I think years of being threatned with divorce have changed me.



  43.  #43Femininewoman on November 8, 2013 at 8:33 am

    Well Sirana I believe he has given you your ticket to a great relationship. He is missing the confident you and wants you to get that girl back. I asked about the job because it seems you are so hyperfocussed on everything he does. My thinking is that choosing to drop that would help. Find something that uses your creative energies, something that fills you up and makes you happy. Something that you can do so you feel busting out at the seams pleased with yourself. I at one time chose to join a rollerblading class even though I was scared shit!less of falling.

    Is there something new you could try? Belllydancing or pole dancing class? Something you have wanted to do for years but never did? Just to get your attention focussed in another direction?



  44.  #44Indigo on November 8, 2013 at 8:34 am

    This is my experience, and I’m really hoping someone here won’t tell me it’s wrong in some way:

    Ever since I started dating D, I have not felt any significant emotional or physical attraction for any other man whatsoever. I mean, there’s been a flicker here and there, but not really. I have not even been able to comprehend the concept of being invested in or desiring another man. And it continues.

    This has never happened to me before. I have always felt attraction to other men before when I have been in relationships, even when I loved the person I was with. Even when I was married – and I deeply loved my ex-husband – I still sometimes felt pulls towards other men. I never cheated, and I never would, but I felt that occasional sense of interest or attraction to another man, just a very normal feeling. And when relationships ended, I never really had trouble moving on, or feeling something for someone else.

    But with D it has been totally different. It is almost as if my heart decided that it was “sold” somehow 3 years ago. I have felt, as I have said, not even what I would describe as a significant flicker of desire for another man. Sure, I have dated. And with a couple of guys, it lasted a few weeks and I kissed them, but in my heart, I felt nothing whatsoever. It was as if D occupied a space that was completely taken. I don’t even really get the sense that I have much choice in this.

    Wow, I have never admitted this in totality to anyone before.



  45.  #45Indigo on November 8, 2013 at 8:36 am

    Sorry, just to clarify, D and I are not together, and I have peace with that. Certainly for the moment. Yet this is the way my heart feels.



  46.  #46Femininewoman on November 8, 2013 at 8:37 am

    You have changed you. Think about it. If he has spent YEARS threatening a divorce and never did it do you really believe he wants to??!! Read your own words.

    Girl I would find words to tantalize the heck out of him. You are the best thing that ever happened to him if you would only believe it. You’ve got to get that hot sexual sensual vibe swirling around you back.



  47.  #47Sirana on November 8, 2013 at 8:40 am

    I know you are right. I feel paralyzed.



  48.  #48Cris on November 8, 2013 at 8:42 am

    @Sirana, I hear you and support you. I work in a big company but understand business environment gives you the impression that you control everything and usually our behaviours there are very masculine. It is a big effort indeed to change our “chip” in the mind to become femenine, loving and not DOING. I am in the same boat as you, I think. It will be hard to change but I am confident and hopeful. All my best wishes



  49.  #49Femininewoman on November 8, 2013 at 8:45 am

    It is not hard to change. One of the experts on a love summit I listened to suggested including a ritual in your day to switch you back to the feminine after a day of business. Take a walk in nature, hug a tree, do some gardening or dig into dirt. Anything that puts you in the feminine. Even window shopping for rings or something. Also wear a ring or pendant that reminds you to be in the feminine when you touch or look at it.

    Nothing is hard. It is just about building our awareness, committing to the life we want and then taking steps to do just that.



  50.  #50Femininewoman on November 8, 2013 at 8:47 am

    You can also use Rori’s visualization tools. Such as turning your palms upward and visualize yourself letting go of control, of the man of anything. It is all about building consciousness and choosing. All about conscious living and conscious loving.



  51.  #51Sirana on November 8, 2013 at 9:04 am

    Cris- Thank you for that. What have you done to help switch back and forth?



  52.  #52Sirana on November 8, 2013 at 9:05 am

    FW – I need to find something for me. Thank you. Anything you do that you like that helps keep you soft and inspired? Just curious.



  53.  #53Veronica on November 8, 2013 at 9:18 am

    Indigo – 44 – I have been feeling the same, I believe. I can’t quite bring myself to touching or kissing another man. I thought that maybe I was feeling depressed. I just don’t feel that ‘oh this man is getting so close to me I could carry something of him in me even after he’s not in my physical presence’. BM and I were last in physical contact almost 9 months ago. I would really like to hear the sirens’ thoughts on what you brought up.



  54.  #54Veronica on November 8, 2013 at 9:20 am

    Sophie – 9 – : )



  55.  #55April Rose on November 8, 2013 at 10:10 am

    Oh Indigo,

    Feeling compassion for you around your situation. ((((((Indigo))))))
    I haven’t experienced this myself, yet.
    Does it feel frustrating? Numb? Strange? How do you feel about it? I feel relieved if you don’t feel unduly worried.

    I’m wondering if some part of you has invested in him in a particular way. And I guess it will take time to gently open that part of you to other men.

    I would lavish lots of love on faithful Indigo for her devotion and loyalty, and love these traits.

    There seems to be a treasure chest of feeling waiting to be dived into, around this.



  56.  #56Indigo on November 8, 2013 at 10:13 am

    Veronica,

    I actually thought of you while I was writing.

    I would also like to hear the sirens’ thoughts. I feel nervous bringing it up and talking about it, because there seem to be a lot of “shoulds” surrounding this. I don’t fully understand why my heart feels this way so I can’t explain it to others, I just know that it does.

    Wow, 9 months without physical contact and still it feels this way for you… On the other hand, I feel that in my new-found perspective, 9 months is not very long at all. I sometimes think the time of “reality” and the time of the heart are two very different things.

    xxx



  57.  #57Cris on November 8, 2013 at 10:18 am

    @Sirana, baby steps in my case. Smile more often, show appreciation and started in a meditation group for trying to quiet my mind. I have to be very patient to wait doing nothing and not suggesting anything to him .
    . but its working!! I am willing to share how this jpurney is going of course if you wish crist.mar.cma@gmail.com

    FW thanks for your indications. Of course there are hard things to accomplish. But I am not saying I am not going to succeed cause it is my biggest desire. I will try some of your suggestions.



  58.  #58Indigo on November 8, 2013 at 10:20 am

    Ah thanks April Rose, for your response full of gentleness and compassion.

    There was a time when this felt very worrying to me – and it doesn’t really any more. Mostly because I think worrying doesn’t really change anything, and also because I feel I’ve accepted and integrated my somewhat strong-willed heart. I would like to feel that it will budge when it feels ready.

    It feels good to know that those closest to me have remarked that they’ve seen a change in me, a healing, and that it’s wonderful to see. That feels good, as does the so much stronger, so much calmer, so much better way that I feel these days. It’s just my heart that feels committed. I don’t fully understand this – I’m a very loyal person. I just continue on this healing journey and trust.

    *hugs* x



  59.  #59Indigo on November 8, 2013 at 10:25 am

    Brenda 25,

    I strongly recommend you get coaching. Coaches can give you tons of tips to strengthen yourself and your self-esteem from the inside so that you can break free of this dynamic.



  60.  #60Femininewoman on November 8, 2013 at 10:43 am

    Sirana I do meditation, talk to myself and lot of visualization. I think of myself as ice cream melting under the sun many times.



  61.  #61Veronica on November 8, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Indigo – 56 – Oh, that’s so interesting that you thought of me.

    (((Indigo))) for the crowding of the ‘shoulds’ while tentatively feeling along the edges of this persistent hold that doesn’t say anything or offer up thoughts.

    I don’t understand it myself. There was the comparing of guys to him – I noticed it and assumed that I was just healing, and that passed. But then I noticed that whenever I would imagine kissing or being intimate with another man it would always happen in BM’s apartment – and I don’t choose it – always the same apartment. I tried to imagine a different place but it reverts quickly back. The other day one of the dating site men was saying how he felt chemistry with a person he met recently and I remember thinking ‘wait, you feel that? on a dating site?’ – I think that’s when I became really aware of not feeling attraction or desire for a man. The whole time I thought it was because I hadn’t been chatting to anyone from more creative fields. I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t think I’m in imaginary land because I know we’re over. I try to provoke whatever this is out into the open by going to his fb page, looking at pictures I have of him. For a while I thought it was my way of holding onto the love I felt, not necessarily from him, just that love that came alive; but I don’t know now.



  62.  #62Dominique on November 8, 2013 at 11:10 am

    Indigo – I went years feeling as you do right now. I don’t feel concerned about this at all. It’s something to notice, embrace, love even.

    This may not be about healing though it could be. Sometimes the heart just wants a rest.

    Maybe it’s an invitation to keep doing what you’re doing right now, taking such great care of you.

    The body has its own wisdom. Listen to yours. She will awaken in this way when she’s ready.

    xxoo



  63.  #63Dominique on November 8, 2013 at 11:21 am

    Sirana – Femininewoman gave you some wonderful ideas.

    I think there are two really important elements here for you to explore – Immersing yourself in activities which fill you up, with passion preferable. Something in the arts maybe, dance of any kind (ballet, jazz, hip hop, belly dancing, Indian Dancing, pole dancing, and others) painting, crafts of any kind, music, singing or playing an instrument.

    Also filling taking some time each day to take care of you in a loving, careful way – self care rituals, eg. long hot baths or showers paying exquisite attention to ALL sensations, especially as you are touching your own skin/body, meditation, especially mindful meditation, yoga.

    I would also encourage you to get more deeply in touch with your sensual side. I don’t necessarily mean sexual though this could be included. What I mean more is noticing your world – images such as the leaves falling from the trees, the birds flying overhead; take a few moments and take what you see. – aromas – what can you smell and where? – touch – what does anything feel like under your fingertips? – taste – savoring all which you put in your bound.

    I want you to luxuriate in ALL senses. Sink into the sensations; integrate what you feel within you.

    And engage with the rest of your world, people you know and don’t know. SMILE at passerby. Strike up random conversations. Look at everyone in the eye. Smile some more.

    All of this will hugely shift your energy, awaken your sensual aspect as well as lift your spirits and your confidence. AND this will help take your focus off of your man which is where it needs to be.

    xxoo



  64.  #64Lisa on November 8, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    WOW big healing after gratitude comes clarity and a place of just what is….

    and now my list of red flags I saw and chose to ride out with my eyes open… and I notice I didn’t leave…

    Huge huge list…way longer than I thought… just noticing I didn’t act… didn’t step back and move away from and sit with them… didn’t take care of me….

    The control issues were right there from the start…he was leaving bread crumbs all along.. giving me clues, I even had my dings in my gut ( the ones I need to act on)… and then me saying to myself… oh give it time to see if it works out… circle dating would have really really helped during those times… I can see how I cut my own foot off … by being committed too soon…getting too emotionally involved….allowing myself to get wooed by the dinning and shows etc. At times when I spoke up… nicely but didn’t get up and walk away….

    Taking responsibility for my part in how I set it up… really helps me feel done…

    OXOX



  65.  #65April Rose on November 8, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    I started my relationship with WM when I was in masculine energy a lot of the time.
    Now that I wish to emphasise my feminine side, I’m wondering if this relationship is holding that back.
    It’s almost as if I have to ‘fight’ to be feminine! And that makes no sense.



  66.  #66April Rose on November 8, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Just watching Targeting Mr Right and feeling surprised to see Rori celebrating men’s anger!

    “What about his anger? What if you should make him angry? This is good! Yesss! A man will not get angry with you unless he cares about you….
    Anger is fuel for love. It’s energy! And it’s way better than getting discouraged or depressed.”

    Wow.



  67.  #67Linda G on November 8, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    Zara, your story is pure romance, poetry. Thanks for allowing me to read it



  68.  #68Linda G on November 8, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    Now getting back to the question of the day:
    Getting blocked

    Sometimes, rather with some people in my life, I don’t feel they understand a word I say. I can see it in their faces as I speak, looking for subtitles



  69.  #69Indigo on November 8, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    Dominique,

    Thank you so much. I have this sense that it will be years for me too.

    And I also have this very strong sense that I need to allow it to be what it is. So thank you

    Lots of love,
    xx



  70.  #70Femininewoman on November 9, 2013 at 6:20 am

    RE 66 Yep. Exactly what I was trying to say on the previous thread.



  71.  #71Linda G on November 9, 2013 at 6:48 am

    Lisa 64
    I am teetering on the brink of a similar situation. It’s confusing and unsettling, makes me question myself



  72.  #72Eve1 on November 9, 2013 at 7:30 am

    Rori,

    2 days ago I purchased your book and I feel such a shift within me since reading it. Only in 2 days! WOW!

    Yesterday my man of now long-distance relationship broke up with me over a text. It was a very long text with his reasons and how we should be logical instead of emotional. This is not the first time it’s happening. Last time I felt like a smashed glass. I leaned forward almost pleading, explaining how much I loved him, how things can be different, that even though it’s a tough situation we’re in if we try we can make it work and you can pretty much imagine what happened and how far I pushed him and after a while he withdrew at all and I decided to cut any contact. Then after few weeks we started talking again and eventually he told that he can’t imagine being with anyone else and that he loves me and have never loved anyone like that before and doesn’t think he ever will. So that was 2 months ago. And without me noticing I began to ask him for things, but never asking him “the right questions”, never listened to him, started blaming him, never appreciating, simply being in my “masculine” for most of the time, no wonder why he is in his “logistics” instead of his “heart” now. And now I got this text. This time instead of leaning in and texting back impulsively. I just sat there, took some deep breaths and after about 5 minutes said- OK. Then he asked if there’s anything more I want to add (I felt he’s surprised of me not blaming him or anything), I just added yes I accept your words and that it’s an end. He replied with a thank you. Through out the day he kept texting me, more than in a long time. With my new skills that I learned just in a day it’s a total turnaround how I speak and relate to him, and anyone else. I feel his energy coming to me instead of mine going to him!!! I feel like a different person!

    You will feel proud hearing this: yesterday instead of crying and thinking and analyzing WHY, I took shower, dressed up, got my heals on and went out for some fun on my own!!! I actually felt sexy and beautiful, desired and just the best girl in the world after the man I love broke up with me. Someone might think it was some kind of pretending and lying to myself, but NO. I even slept like a baby after some dark nights of the soul. WOW, I feel so empowered!!!!

    I have my goals. And I’m not cutting contact, not because I’m desperate to get him back, but because he’s a good masculine man to practice my new skills with. I do want him back, but I’m not desperate for that. For the first time I don’t fear, I’m not scared if I’m not getting him back. I feel I’m my self, I feel safe! And I’m not controlling the outcome

    Don’t judge me on being in a long distance relationship. I’m very young. And I will do CDing I’m dating myself and flirting with men. Right now a real, committed relationship isn’t what I want. And my man (of two years) had to leave this country in just the right time, because I’m now too busy with me working to save money for my goals. Right now most importantly I want to grow as a woman and a person with my new skills, I love my man, and if we get back together in future it’s a bonus.

    Love you Rori, you’ve done the most amazing job. That’s a one billion worth of information you are sharing with us. Thank you so much <3



  73.  #73BeLoved on November 9, 2013 at 7:59 am

    “A man will not get angry with you unless he cares about you….”

    I call BS on this. Apparently Rori has never met a real live, certified narcissist or outright dangerous people.
    My exes got angry all of the time – and they didn’t give a whit about ME.
    They cared about their stuff and most especially about their self-images, but not about ME.
    My ex’s next girlfriend just died at age 25, leaving behind a 3yr old… she was lying there, struggling after having a stroke, and he left her there for 2 hours before he realized maybe he should take some action, then took another hour to clean all possibly illegal paraphernelia so he wouldn’t lose his business before calling for help…
    which he finally did once she was actually dead.

    Being angry just means he’s angry. It doesn’t mean jack about how he feels about the woman, really.



  74.  #74sapphire on November 9, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Rori or other Sirens
    Question
    My fiance of 4 years whom I live with talks a lot. He tells me all about his day at work and what he thinks. In contrast I dont talk much about my day (not convinced he is alwayd that interested). I think they way he feels love by being listened to. I often feel I am to accessible to listen to him so he does not have to work for my attention. I also wonder at times if me listening to him I then become part of the problem he is talking about ( if you understand what I mean). I want to be wooed and adored and not feeling that. I know he loves me but the attention sex and passion of being pursued is not there anymore.
    Kind regards Jewels



  75.  #75Andrea on November 9, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Darn, so much to read and catch up on. But just popped on to share something. Hopefully it fits with the conversation.
    I have a wine tasting event business. Last night was my debut party. I also just met a man a few days ago who asked me out on a date. I told him that I couldn’t date him this week but he could come to my wine tasting event.
    He came. Two other of my CD daters came as well. Along with girlfriends and other people I know.
    Not only did all of my male friends order wine from my event, but all three of them were hanging around after my event.
    All of them talking with each other, knowing that they were all three there because of me, and all of them asking… (begging) to help me. They moved tables, carried my cases out to my truck, vacuumed the space. I was agog at first. All three of them tripping over themselves to help me.
    All three professional, age appropriate, single, handsome men.
    And I really felt like I was in some kind of Goddess Warp.
    A part of me was still feeling kind of lonely for my ex boyfriend. LIke… why couldn’t he treat me like this??Then I realized that he was gone out of my life for a reason. And the more I tried to force something with him, the less I had a real relationship with my self and my soul and my higher sweetness.

    Instead…. every single man that has come into my life since him… Bob, Craig, Ken, Dennis… they are all men who WANT to take care of me. They are the men who take me out to dinner, bring over laundry soap when I need it, order wine at my wine parties…. These are the men who flock to me and it’s as though they are not happy unless they are taking care of me.

    I used to think… “Oh.. I want to be seen as independent and that I can take care of myself.” But I realize now that I’m getting there… slowly…. and the men that I will need at that stage of my life are there waiting for me.
    But right now, I’m a student.. of life and of love and in college. Every time I turn around these men are starting to show me that I’m allowed to be just what I am, where I am right now. And I’m allowed to love me. I”m allowed to learn right now, and I’m allowed to let men reach out and take care of me, and just grow in the way I am growing.
    My ex boyfriend… as much as I was addicted to his personality and his put downs and his constant looking over my shoulder to judge me and my friends and my family… as much as I was used to that because of my own past…. I’m slowly (even going through withdrawel pangs) getting over that addiction.
    And allowing myself to feel the love and care and support of men who really are ecstatic when they know they can take care of me. IT’s a different place.
    And I’m realizing that just cause I’m at this stage in my life right now… it doesn’t mean I’m always going to be at this stage in life. I just need to stop resisting this stage and go with the flow. This is the stage in which I don’t have any emotional or sexual attachments, but every time I turn around there is another man tripping over himself to CARE for me!! It’s positively wonderful and strange at the same time. But I had to let go of my ex boyfriend and my addictions to self loathing to get here.



  76.  #76April Rose on November 9, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Wow, Andrea,

    Go girl! As I’m reading your posting I’m imagining three men in one place trying to outdo one another to gain a place in your affections. And you being so into YOU, and not placing importance on any of those men individually. And loving what men are capable of. Yum!!



  77.  #77April Rose on November 9, 2013 at 11:28 am

    Sapphire,

    How do you feel when he talks to you at length? And do you let him know how you feel about it?



  78.  #78Syreena on November 9, 2013 at 11:45 am

    Feel curious about violence and anger. And the reacting and lashing out that sometimes occur.

    Was thinking about the likes of Rhianna and Chris Brown and how many women in America are beaten or murdered by their spouses or boyfriends.

    But not many husbands or boyfirends are beaten or murdered by their girlfreinds or wives. Even when they have lashed out and hit them. How it doesn’t escalate as much that way round.

    Felt curious to question as to why as although many women may lash out at a man they don’t batter or murder on such a high scale.

    I



  79.  #79Femininewoman on November 9, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    Sapphire I wonder what you have going in your life aside from the relationship? Things that you do that you are passionate about?



  80.  #80Emerson on November 9, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    Hmmm I’m feeling very different…
    I’m feeling very raw and very unusual….
    Like I crossed a precipice and I feel ive changed….
    Like I don’t care or expect anything…From men….
    I feel like I’ve surrendered.
    Not sure if its good or bad, it feels like I’ve given up…on the dream of finding someone special.
    It’s like nobody is really special everyone is replaceable. I feel like I am replaceable with another woman.
    Like I said I don’t know if this is good or bad but I feel I’ve let to of a lot of sentiments and hopes.
    In summary, my current theme phrase would be “f@ck it”



  81.  #81Emerson on November 9, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    I’ve never felt this numb before, I feel completely disgusted with my past efforts and sentiments and time wasted in relationships that failed.



  82.  #82Emerson on November 9, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    I feel furious and I also feel indifferent and impatient



  83.  #83Emerson on November 9, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    I’m really feeling isolated and out of touch with all my CDs because they are all just in contact via text lately and it’s annoying



  84.  #84Emerson on November 9, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    I feel sad and scared and jaded.
    Maybe this is me totally stripped down so I can start over fresh… I’m not sure what’s going on



  85.  #85Siren Angel on November 9, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    Zara.

    I just want to say that is the most beautiful and romantic story… I am so happy for you. Thank you for restoring hope.



  86.  #86Emerson on November 9, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    Sirens are u out there



  87.  #87Linda G on November 9, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    Emerson, it sound like you are cocooning, powering down for a bit. Time to get reflective, refreshed, reacquainted with your true self. Then your inner fire will come back to life.

    It feels like defeat, I have felt that way, too. But what comes next is rebirth, redirection.

    I feel unsure if my remarks will land true and compassionate. I hope you don’t mind. I always feel anxious when I reach out, craving a response.



  88.  #88Leigha Baker on November 9, 2013 at 9:13 pm

    Hi Sirens!

    Just thought I would stop in and say hi! 🙂

    Zara, I LOVED your story!!

    ((((Emerson)))

    Some of you may know (those who have been posting for the last 4 years) that I’ve been taking Rori’s Relationship Coach Training and it’s been an incredible experience! If you’ve thought about doing it, I definitely recommend it!



  89.  #89Millie on November 9, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    I felt misjudged by a friend today. I told her “I felt weird” about our conversation and attempted to share why…but her response was ‘I’m not sure what you want from me. I’m not sure what you want me to say. I am confused.” This made me feel worse… Not only do I feel I misrespresent myself, but people seem to hold an impression of me that is not true and it’s apparently my fault for leading them to think this way?!
    I feel frustrated. I want to feel accepted and loved by my friends and instead I feel judged, like my decisions and how I convey them aren’t good enough. Like I’m not good enough. Like I’m not “old” enough or mature enough or “self-aware” enough. ugh…..I am who I am.



  90.  #90Indigo on November 9, 2013 at 11:41 pm

    (((Millie)))

    I know how you feel.

    I felt that way last night. And for me what I feel is worse is that it feels like certain people take a certain pleasure in judging you and painting you in a particular way, as if it makes their lives simpler, even though it is not accurate or the truth.

    I felt very hurt by two things last night which I felt were completely undeserved, especially since my motive in all of it was to be caring and a friend, and I got painted in a particular light, and it was as if you could just see everyone around nodding in agreement, and I felt too shell-shocked to even defend myself and I felt so hurt that I’d been misunderstood that I just apologized and backed off. Feeling numb, and after a while I went home and cried in my car.

    I feel lonely. I want someone who is loyal to me and cares deeply about how I feel, and about my wellbeing in a given circumstance. Sometimes I feel like I have to watch myself for the little knives of the world, and I just want someone who has my back.



  91.  #91Sophie on November 10, 2013 at 5:55 am

    ahhhhh Indigo and Millie I get that too – my best friend fell out with me as she had a resentment I didn’t even know about – I’d offered to help her and she’d said no so I hadn’t and then she’d resented me about it anyway and not told me and then made a big thing months later about how I’d let her down all these months and I was supposed to be her friend (I swear I had made lots of efforts to reach through her resentment during this time to no avail)…we are now not talking at all and I feel comfortable with that because I felt all this negative and I hadn’t done anything wrong!

    I felt like I was efforting with her in the end!!! And that’s not good.

    all the little knives…I so understand that Indigo…and the bewilderment and hurt and sting and I never really understand!

    I guess we’re supposed to be the one who has our back, cares about our well-being and is loyal to ourselves and I’m working on that BUT I do hear you it can feel wonderful to know you have a pair of protective arms to run into when you’re feeling underfire from the world

    I don’t have a thick skin I actually have NO skin and sometimes its very nice to have someone else be my skin for me – its rest

    I feel sad you feel lonely and want to give you a big hug xxx



  92.  #92Sophie on November 10, 2013 at 5:57 am

    Linda G – I like what you said and Emerson I always kind of like it when i get to the F it stage…it feels like a releasing of allll the resistance 🙂



  93.  #93Indigo on November 10, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Aah thanks Sophie, I got little tears when I read your comment.

    I am most often pretty good at having my own back and being my own best friend, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough when I feel let down by being judged or being misunderstood, or other people’s nastiness.

    I have no skin either 😉 Each time I think I am doing fine with other people I can still be knocked sideways by a bewildering act which seems to come out of the blue, like what you mentioned with your friend.

    I do have people who deeply care for me, but I wish I had just that one ultra-special person.

    Big hugs back to you xx



  94.  #94LoveAlways on November 10, 2013 at 7:06 am

    Good morning sirens

    Sunday’s have become my siren days. And it carries over into monday . . . What a beautiful beginning of my week. It has all been about baby steps, feeling and discovering, establishing a foundation of what feels good to me. I have good days on my bridge and bad ones in those pits. But I am finding myself again. A Phoenix siren rising from the pits! Every accomplishment is slow but assured. Once I grasp or embrace something it is mine to always keep a part of me.

    Have been CDing with the world, but not going on dates lately. A lot of new emotional junk in the ways but being triggered is good. I see the red flags after the triggers and know not to delve into the situation. It just doesn’t feel good and I am not desperate or craving just any man’s attention. It feels good to celebrate myself in this way, the clutter of deadened relationships is cleared away.

    So it truly is ALL ABOUT ME, and I’m discovering me, enjoying what feels good, moving through each week baby step by baby step. Good morning Sunday!

    LoveAlways



  95.  #95LoveAlways on November 10, 2013 at 7:08 am

    Oh, and the point of Siren Sundays is that I promise myself not to ever lose myself again!



  96.  #96LoveAlways on November 10, 2013 at 7:10 am

    Today I see the beauty of the sunshine on my hair and nails and skin, and how the sun reaches deep into my cells to nourish and radiate my body. This is how I sparkle!!



  97.  #97LoveAlways on November 10, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Siren Monday is about dating myself. I have a standing date to do one great thing for myself, normally a massage and meditation and shopping or to clear up something hat weighs on me, planning my week to clear up the things that keep my boy energy over active so my feminine energy can radiate throughout the week. Why so detailed? I allowed love and relationship to take over my schedule, my life. And that felt good while it was going on, but I was in constant masculine energy . . . I see that now. So I strive to not fall into that again. Like Dominique pointed out to me, I can’t stay in feminine energy ALL the time, but by the same token, I cannot stay in masculine energy like I did either. So this exercise is about maintaing a better balance. I embrace my extreme ness and I love it, it’s coming with me, but it will not run me. This feels good



  98.  #98LoveAlways on November 10, 2013 at 7:21 am

    This all comes back to baby steps again and again. Starting over and getting it right to feel good to me.



  99.  #99LoveAlways on November 10, 2013 at 7:29 am

    I harbor resentment a lot, so I developed an exercise where I embrace one good thing about each heart break relationship that I loved. This way my focus can shift to me and what made me feel good about being with person
    Cdex was the best first date in my life
    Cdsong made me feel like a queen when he sang to me and showered me with his adoration through song
    CDs got deep and close into my soul with raw love and we would just stay in that moment gazing at each other like a dual meditation
    Cdaggressive made me feel like his queen the way he would hold me and grab my hand as we explored the streets of the city, what an adventure

    And now I lay it all to rest, not to dwell on any of it, and should I run into any of them it is okay, because I know what benefitted me and I can smile and keep on with my life



  100.  #100LoveAlways on November 10, 2013 at 7:30 am

    Time to move about in my Sunday. Going for a nice drive this morning then breakfast.

    Namaste



  101.  #101Dominique on November 10, 2013 at 7:54 am

    Indigo, Mille, and Sophie – All three of you like so many other of us on this kind of journey are what I call ultra-sensitive. I know Indigo has read my two articles on this. If Millie and Sophie have not, you may want to read or reread if you have.

    I can so understand what you three are feeling. There have been times where I have though tension or raised voices on the other side of the room were my fault even if I had had no interaction those engaged in whatever it was which made the energy in the room crackle.

    Life as an ultra-sensitive can feel challenging sometimes, yet it’s a wonderful aspect as well. You do need to find ways to soothe yourself, and if there isn’t a man to turn to, find other like hearted women. They will understand. <3

    http://sexandheart.com/more-on-you-as-an-ultra-sensitive/

    xxoo



  102.  #102Dominique on November 10, 2013 at 7:55 am


  103.  #103Linda G on November 10, 2013 at 8:24 am

    Thanks, Dominique for the links. I have been ultra sensitive all my life, which can be damaging to one’s status. I find certain people, certain types of men will want to protect me, take care of me. Others use this to bully or control me, or should I say try to.

    I have a history of walking away from relationships with men who although very generous, seem to demand I give up something of myself in return. I realize if I can maintain strong boundaries, I may find myself in this position less.

    Lately I have met strong willed men, somewhat older, who boast they will protect me feverishly. This “knight in shining armor” aspect has fantasy attached. But I am truly non violent, a pacifist, and could never bear someone actually physically fighting in my presence, for my behalf.

    Maybe I need to restrict myself to dating Buddhists…..



  104.  #104Linda G on November 10, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Why is my comment awaiting moderation? Was it the remark about dating a Buddhist?



  105.  #105Linda G on November 10, 2013 at 8:28 am

    Apparently, I am not “getting through”



  106.  #106Linda G on November 10, 2013 at 8:29 am

    Thanks, Dominique for the links. I have been ultra sensitive all my life, which can be damaging to one’s status. I find certain people, certain types of men will want to protect me, take care of me. Others use this to bully or control me, or should I say try to.

    I have a history of walking away from relationships with men who although very generous, seem to demand I give up something of myself in return. I realize if I can maintain strong boundaries, I may find myself in this position less.

    Lately I have met strong willed men, somewhat older, who boast they will protect me feverishly. This “knight in shining armor” aspect has fantasy attached. But I am truly non violent, a pacifist, and could never bear someone actually physically fighting in my presence, for my behalf.



  107.  #107Linda G on November 10, 2013 at 8:49 am

    Ooh, the blog is moderating me…..



  108.  #108Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 9:40 am

    Linda G and Sophie thank you….
    I feel heard and I like your comments. I welcome any comments or feedback. It’s just good to have a forum to let it out. Thank you for hearing me.

    Yes it feels kind of good in a way because I’m letting go of a lot of bull$hit stuff. Thinning out the herd so to speak.
    I’m detaching from some things because I may be moving to another state in about 1 year. It is something I’ve contemplated for a long time …to be closer to family…and a better quality of life.
    I’m feeling fed up with the dream if a man really living me for me…without being so over emotional that I lose respect for him…
    I’ve had that…
    Men crying and professing their love for me….
    I feel like yawning or puking. It just seems iver tentoo and needy. Maybe I’m just a bitc#.



  109.  #109Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 9:41 am

    *it seems over the top



  110.  #110Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 9:41 am

    Sorry oh crap I just wrote a long post and where did it go…



  111.  #111Sophie on November 10, 2013 at 9:47 am

    Thank you Dominique x I have read them before and think they’re fabulous and really helpful as always x

    Several times through my life I’ve had really good friends ‘break up’ with me for no reason I’ve ever really been able to understand and this has often left me feeling like perhaps it is me if it’s happened more than once but now I try to believe that people just change and I change quite a lot quite quickly I thin and it’s natural to move in and out of others lives x

    96 Lovealways I like that idea of clearing up things that weigh on you on a weekly basis and I like that it helps you be in the feminine energy more – great 🙂

    Linda G – If a man wants to ‘protect me’ too much I feel resistant to it I feel controlled I like it when men let me be me and trust my inner strength to manage my own battles but support me with their tenderness through my process 🙂



  112.  #112Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 9:58 am

    Sirens my phone is not updating sorry for all the duplicates lol



  113.  #113April Rose on November 10, 2013 at 10:41 am

    It’s the last day of a phase of misjudgements and miscommunication, so we should see improvements as of tomorrow 🙂

    Hugs to you ultra-sensitive sirens.

    I too am acculately sensitive to life’s daggers (harsh judgements) and I think they relate to my own accutely judgemental nature. Judgement is good for survival situations, but because these are diminished in our modern society we overspill them onto other people. I just made this theory up! Haha.



  114.  #114Sophie on November 10, 2013 at 10:46 am

    phew April Rose 🙂 ease and flow xx



  115.  #115Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 11:18 am

    Sirens I’m taking care of me and brainstorming for my future….
    I’m thinking more in terms of staying single when I am dreaming if future plans….
    Not sure why…
    I’m scared that I will be alone…
    But it’s looking like that’s how it’s been for me for a geometry so I don’t know???? Is there a match out there for me????



  116.  #116Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Sophie and Linda G thank you for your comments to me. I wrote a longer reply but it got lost in Internet twilight zone !!! 🙁



  117.  #117Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 11:21 am

    Lol I don’t know why it says geometry… I meant to say for a Long time but my phone likes to auto spell things for me



  118.  #118April Rose on November 10, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    Emerson,
    Have you ever studied sacred geometry?
    (Your autospeller made me giggle. But hey, who knows, it may be a sign….!!)
    😉



  119.  #119Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    I like the song “broken” by seether…
    It’s dark but comforting…
    I noticed the album cover has a young woman holding a sign on the beach that says “I hate myself…I hate you”….
    It felt like a punch in the gut when I saw the photo…so powerful and so sad and troubling…
    Not the direction I want to go in at all…but it spoke to me.
    I don’t hate myself though, and I don’t hate”you”… But I know that feeling….
    It’s so intense and dark…



  120.  #120Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    Hi April rose 😉
    No I don’t know what that is…
    Enlighten me…



  121.  #121Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    I am feeling totally stripped down and raw. I don’t want to convince anyone of anything. I don’t have time/energy to be a convincer.
    I’ve had opportunity come my way nonetheless, as far as business goes.



  122.  #122April Rose on November 10, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    Hi Emerson,
    Not too sure myself, but somethin to do with the higher vibrational power of shapes e.g. circles, spheres and domes…..



  123.  #123Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Sorry I’m spamming the blog….
    I feel like I need a vacation.
    I want to go on a hiking trip



  124.  #124Cheryl on November 10, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    My boyfriend of six months got wishy washy and walked away from our relationship. I didn’t chase him. Gave him space. No response. After three months I made contact and he came back with a long story about leaving me for the girl that dumped him a year earlier. Said he made a big mistake and was thinking about me every day. There issues were big and not going well. Long story short, we met and I realized he was still with her. Told him to leave and make a decision.
    Now a month later he has left her. Is making contact with me. But not ready to date yet. He keeps track of me on social networks where I rarely post. I did break down one night I told him my intuition points to him as the real thing. Made sure he knew I was looking for a partner. That I wanted to marry in the future. I am not looking for anything casual.

    We are both in our late forties. I’m a widow. He is 3 years divorced from a 22 year marriage. Neither of us has had mant dating experiences. We are both scared of making a mistake which is why he needed to take care of unfinished business with the ex girlfriend.
    He is sad and feels bad for having hurt her. He says he didn’t take enough time figuring out how he felt when their relationship ended the first time.

    Now what should I do? He is a really great guy. I think we could really have something special.



  125.  #125Indigo on November 10, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    Thank you Dominique

    You know how much I agree with all of this surrounding ultra sensitive people. I have found the importance of soothing yourself and being your number 1 advocate to be immense.

    xxx



  126.  #126Indigo on November 10, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    Emerson,

    I found it utterly amazing, jaw-dropping serendipitous that you mentioned “Broken” by Seether.

    My incident on Saturday night had to do with me going to a Seether tribute concert, and the people in question were in a band which was playing the song “Broken”. I’ve been thinking of that song all weekend.



  127.  #127Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    A friend of mine lost her mother today. I feel sad for her. I feel strange too. It feels unreal.



  128.  #128Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    121 wow indigo that is strange!!!



  129.  #129Emerson on November 10, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    89 indigo it feels bad to feel misunderstood. Ive learned that my true allies and friends see through any mixups and give me the benefit of the doubt ….
    Otherwise I move on and realize certain people are not in my “tribe”….



  130.  #130Amazing Me on November 11, 2013 at 1:10 am

    The 5th day of me having the Rori’s book and learning the new skills has started. Just hugged my nasty Voice, she’s abit overwhelmed today. Normally I would listen to her and she would rule my day. Instead what I did this morning is hugged myself and told her the phrase from the book, didn’t pay attention to her anymore and I feel I’m in charge now, because I am. I love myself:)



  131.  #131Amazing Me on November 11, 2013 at 5:32 am

    Just found another Voice of me.. will actually want to retype what I say here in my journal, because I find it very important to me.

    My another Voice is what I will call the Whining Voice. She wants people to feel sorry for me (or her). She gets upset over smallest things, she wants despair, she is actively seeking for a reason to cry and be upset. She wants me to whine and literary make a face like a little girl who can’t get a candy so someone would come, hug me and say it’s alright I will give you the candy. I hug her with all the love, but won’t pay attention to her anymore. Whoa the Nasty voice has a sister



  132.  #132Andrea on November 11, 2013 at 7:01 am

    Sirens. For so many reasons I’ve always had a kind of strained relationship with my dad so when my oldest daughter’s school was doing a tribute to veterans today and my daughter invited “Grandpa” to come visit, I stressed about it.
    But then I realized that I can use my feelings to guide me through the weekend and simply allow things to unfold as they would.
    And it has been amazing. My dad has spent this weekend just absolutely taking care of me and my daughters. I mean, he took my girls to the movies, he took me grocery shopping and absolutely refused to let me pay for anything. He kept saying, “Andrea, please get what ever you need.” Then he put so many things in the cart that he wanted me to have before he left… big jugs of laundry soap, toilet paper, olive oil, eggs, milk, bacon… it was so incredible.
    Then he paid for my daughter’s phone bills for the month.
    He kept saying, “I just want you to know that I’m here for you. And I can finally take care of my daughter the way I’ve always wanted to.”

    I was just…. I was just bowled over!!! I started to realize that our relationship has been so strained because in my need to express my own independence I completely cut him out of his role as my dad. All this time, he has only wanted to show me that he’s here for me, and he’s only wanted appreciation from me. When I used to think that he was judging and condemning me for not being “responsible” enough to take care of myself, he was actually trying to find a way to help me.

    We have had the best visit. I’m still reeling from this new way of accepting the best in the men around me and allowing them to show me how much they care for me.

    It’s amazing. Amazing.



  133.  #133Cris on November 11, 2013 at 7:06 am

    @Andrea
    🙂



  134.  #134Emerson on November 11, 2013 at 7:19 am

    I did not sleep well…so many things disturbing me in my thoughts…



  135.  #135Emerson on November 11, 2013 at 7:21 am

    Yay Andrea!



  136.  #136Veronica on November 11, 2013 at 7:27 am

    Zara – 6 – It is so beautiful what you wrote, thank you. I love how you describe it as freedom. I wish you and your love a long life, much happiness and good health. xx



  137.  #137Veronica on November 11, 2013 at 7:29 am

    Last night I could sense a sudden change – it was a very particular moment where I felt in my being that I was now here – I noticed that I could concentrate on what was in front of me with a clarity that I haven’t known in quite a long time. I could notice and was present with the details of whatever was in front of me. I felt present. And I still feel it today, as though there is more of me that is becoming present. I don’t feel the same dissipation – where I was elsewhere, busy with what I had lost, what I could recoup.



  138.  #138Indigo on November 11, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Emerson,

    Sensitive people are the ones who understand me best, as do the ones who love me best.

    But it doesn’t stop me being misunderstood on a fairly regular basis. However, I’ve realized I don’t have much control over that. xx



  139.  #139Amanda on November 11, 2013 at 8:37 am

    Hi Ladies…It’s been awhile. Work got crazy and well life got in the way. Need to catch up with everyone’s stories!



  140.  #140Amanda on November 11, 2013 at 8:40 am

    I do have a question. When circular dating and you have had a few dates with a guy and had a good time, and he then disappears for a week or so then contacts you, how do you handle this?
    My first inclination was to decide how I felt and then go out with him again if I wanted to…but I quickly found out that ALL of these guys were actually not interested in me. They had met someone else and completely forgot about me, then when the new girl didn’t work out they asked me out again when they got bored.



  141.  #141Amanda on November 11, 2013 at 8:42 am

    #133 I should add that I didn’t say a word to any of these guys about how I felt about the fact that I had not heard from them in so long. I do think Rori talks about a conversation to have about needing more communication can’t quite remember it.



  142.  #142Dominique on November 11, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Andrea – 125 – SO beautiful. YAY you!!!

    xxoo



  143.  #143Siouxsie on November 11, 2013 at 4:30 pm

    I’m confused Sirens! I drive to him, because I don’t want him at my place. He cooks for me, gives me massages, asks me out a week in advance, calls & texts me… But I drive to him.

    And also- I only waited 4 dates to have sex. I feel so confused.

    Please chime in. I’m feeling a little over my head.



  144.  #144Trish on November 12, 2013 at 3:35 am

    As I’ve been trying to follow the advice here (and Christian Carter’s) I’m in a beat my head against a rock type situation.
    I talked this guy for about two weeks and then we started dating and have been for 2 months now. Of course everything is new and exciting and I know that wears off a little, but Im
    At an impass I guess. I’ve been following what free advice I could. The when he’s pulling away especially. I’ve done it. I know it takes time for it to come to fruition but how do I know when it’s working? He used to call me a pet name EVERY morning. Now it’s just “gm” or “gm my name”. Calls me pet name when we are together. Am I doubting unnesscarily?
    Should I just throw my hands up, sit back and see if he comes to me as I’ve been doing for about a 2 weeks now? If anyone can give me some reasonable and good advice I’m all ears.



  145.  #145Trisket on November 12, 2013 at 3:44 am

    As I’ve been trying to follow the advice. I’m in a beat my head against a rock type situation.
    I talked this guy for about two weeks and then we started dating and have been for 2 months now. Of course everything is new and exciting and I know that wears off a little, but Im
    At an impass I guess. I’ve been following what free advice I could. The when he’s pulling away especially. I’ve done it. I know it takes time for it to come to fruition but how do I know when it’s working? He used to call me a pet name EVERY morning. Now it’s just “gm” or “gm my name”. Calls me pet name when we are together. Am I doubting unnesscarily?
    Should I just throw my hands up, sit back and see if he comes to me as I’ve been doing for about a 2 weeks now? If anyone can give me some reasonable and good advice I’m all ears.



  146.  #146blue rose on November 12, 2013 at 9:07 am

    125 Andrea

    that’s wonderful! good for you 🙂



  147.  #147Rori Raye on November 13, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Cheryl – Welcome, and it seems to me that you’re doing GREAT!! Please get the ebook and the Complete Collection if you can, and learn the Siren Skills – that will give you WAY more power than you believe you have now. Love, Rori



  148.  #148Rori Raye on November 13, 2013 at 11:17 am

    Siouxsie – If you’re happy – then it’s going great!!!! Love, Rori



  149.  #149Rori Raye on November 13, 2013 at 11:18 am

    Trish – you are focusing WAY too much on this one man! Circular Date! That’s the only way to keep your allure at this point. Love, Rori



  150.  #150Siouxsie on November 13, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    Thank you, Rori! I feel so blessed by your answer.



  151.  #151Eryne on November 14, 2013 at 10:29 am

    Hello Rori & all –

    I feel like I’m in a but of a pickle. The holidays are pretty much here, time to be spent with loved ones. Well I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little bit over a year, we recently got back together after a month & half long break. I had told him I was going home for Thanksgiving & he said ok he was going to work. I didn’t take into consideration that I didn’t invite him to come with me. Well now he is going home for thanksgiving after saying he was going to just work. And he didn’t invite me, either. It hurt me really bad & I got sad about it but later realized I didn’t initiate an invite earlier. I did however verbalize that my family said they’d miss seeing him. It come across as this relationship not going anywhere, like we’re wasting each other’s time! And I don’t want that. I want to see how it goes around Christmas time, see if we actually act like a couple and make plans accordingly. Anyways I had said something about it that night that I have always seen a relationship this way etc. and my words weren’t ideal, I have a hard time expressing my feelings to begin with. But he got angry, freaked out & said he didn’t know where I come up with this crazy stuff! So I didn’t say anything else after. I just clammed up. I don’t want to push him away but I’m afraid that’s what I’m doing. Should I wait it out till Christmas, get my words right or see this as a red flag? I just can’t get over the fact neither of us included each other in something I consider very important in a relationship.

    Eryne



  152.  #152Rori Raye on November 14, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    Eryne, the problem isn’t that you guys never “invited” each other to visit with family – but that you can’t talk to each other. At all. After a year, if you can’t speak the truth when you want to – that’s where to start working. This is about you learning some skills, not about him at all. Take whatever time you need to work through my ebook and practice the Tools. Love, Rori



  153.  #153Eryne on November 14, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    Thank you Rori! I agree, on my wish list is all of your tools!! I’m in desperate need. Your work is impeccable.

    Gratefully, Eryne



  154.  #154Eryne on November 14, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    Thank you Rori! I agree, on my wish list is all of your tools!! I’m in desperate need. Your work is impeccable.

    Eryne



  155.  #155Jasmine on November 15, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Rori,
    I’m a young woman been in the same relationship for 13 years. I’ve gone thru my 20’s and well grown up in it;13yrs with same man not married share a child, a boy. He’s 8 yrs older and I love him madly. He keeps he’s online gaming relationships behind my back I’ve caught him 2xs. I haven’t left .. But is there something I could be doing to make him take me seriously? He did cheat about 3 years ago and I thought he wanted to gain my trust back. What say you??



  156.  #156Rori Raye on November 15, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    Jasmine – I’ve got a goldmine of help for you. Go get a free session and then work with my coach “Trainee” Samantha Harris – http://www.coachsamantha.com. Not only is she a great coach – she’s an online gaming EXPERT! She knows everything about it – it’s how she met HER man, so she can illuminate the whole situation for you and give you some weapons and insights you may not get anywhere else. Just go to her site and contact her directly. Love, Rori



  157.  #157Daria on November 15, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    my immune system got a kick and now is healing me even more!

    im taking such great care of myself! thank you Daria 🙂

    i like this not contacting men thing. i didnt feel good about going to see my guy friend to walk his lake, i felt awkward it wouldve felt better to receive a visit

    the walk felt cool, it feel so different when i receive a visit instead of be the one going

    i really feel good with that lovely feelings



  158.  #158Lisa on November 17, 2013 at 7:15 am

    @Indigo #138 Yes! <3 I totally get that!



  159.  #159Lisa on November 17, 2013 at 7:28 am

    @Indigo #93 <3 that post…. I can empathize



  160.  #160Lisa on November 17, 2013 at 7:33 am

    Been off for awhile…. seems some posts are missing… I don’t know ??? But I do know that the peace was good for me to feel what I feel express it and then leave people’s perception to themselves really…. that is all that every really happens anyways…. perception, assumptions… judgements…

    I feel things are sometimes very double standard… at times… some get by with jabs others don’t… I’m curious about that… what causes the special treatment??

    Humm the more I contemplate it the more I wonder if it is an art form that I never chose to get good at….

    Ultra sensitive, yes, I am, and also very empathic and intuitive… that goes along with it… it has it’s good points and not so good and I agree with Dominique I/ we have to be our own best friend in lots of situations…. I protect me, and I support me… even when all others are judging me harshly and or jabbing…. home is inside with me….

    OXOXO



  161.  #161Tammy on December 7, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    Hi ladies! I have decided to start loving myself- infact, it is a constant mantra in my mind. I am changing the defeating thoughts and patterns in my brain to I LOVE MYSELF. In doing so, I have asked myself the question, ‘ If I love myself would I allow ….’ Many times it has been a big fat NO! I have reflected on the ways others have treated me in the past and come to the realization that in most instances others have mistreated me because I, yes I, have allowed it! I have overlooked their harshness out of love or benevolence. I have overlooked abuse. I have given people the inch and then let them the yard as well! I have made excuses for them!
    But now when I recognize the toxicity aimed towards me-my mind screams. Wait! Hold up! This is NOT acceptable! YOU LOVE YOURSELF REMEMBER?! It is wonderful to be loving towards others but some people will just push and take as much as you let them! My mind screams- would you want someone to treat your children, whom you love deeply, like this? Well, NO! Then why are you allowing someone to treat you in such a way? I realize now that in order to truly love others and be effective in this world I must protect me first! And that means I must protect myself from myself too! Meaning destructive thoughts or behaviors that I aim at myself are not acceptable either! I will only allow myself to be kind to myself! I will not make it an option!
    I took up for myself again tonight and it felt good! A good male friend of mine, P, has been doing something that makes me uncomfortable and I have not really put a stop to it. We went out once and even fooled around a bit but decided that we would just be friends. We had even discussed at one point in our year long friendship that perhaps we could be FWB. Well, that never happened. We are good friends and been there to support each other during trying times-he is a good guy. Thing is, he knows I love M and that I am trying to get over him. (M is why I found this program!) But P will call me up periodically and ask me details about my sex life! He says that since we are friends it is not a big deal. P says he wants to make love to me but is scared he will fall in love with me. Well, he will hem and haw about taking me out and such but never follows through. I have told him how frustrating this is for me and that frankly it hurts my feelings to be teased in such a way! He always apologizes but then a few weeks later he will want to know if, when, or who I am sexing. Well, tonight I told him it is kinda of creepy that he asks about my sex life but is not a part of it- even though he says he wants to be and never steps up to the plate! I think I made it clear that his behavior is not acceptable to me.
    Ofcourse, I felt a bit guilty putting it to him but I just HAD to! His behavior was making me feel bad! I HAVE TO LOVE MYSELF FIRST OR NO ONE EVER WILL in a way I deserve!



  162.  #162Tammy on December 7, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    Zara! Your story sounds like a beautiful romance. The way you write makes me think you are a beautifully feminine lovely strong woman. Bravo to you!



  163.  #163Tammy on December 10, 2013 at 9:55 am

    X



  164.  #164Tammy on December 10, 2013 at 9:55 am

    Y



  165.  #165Gill on January 9, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    I tried commenting on If He Keeps Going Back To His “Ex” – Do This and I think it might be disabled. So I’m gonna write it on here.
    I really need advice.
    I have known this guy for 17 years and added him on facebook in 2011. We used to chat now and then, till about the end of March 2013 when things started changing, we started chatting everyday. From the April I had this feeling that I was going to marry him. Things got very serious, this was an online relationship and a long distance one as he lived in South Africa and I lived in the UK. In May 2013 he asked me to be his girlfriend, so we started a relationship. He had broken up with the mother of his child about 2 and a half years before. Then in July he asked me to marry him, I said yes because I genuinely thought he was the one and still do. We used to chat on the phone all the time. In September I went on holiday to South Africa and while on holiday we got married, when I look back on that, it was a bit rushed, but at the time it felt so right. So I left to go back to the UK for 2 months and returned back to South Africa to start a new life with him. Unfortunately on the day that I arrived, in the evening, I found out that he had been cheating on me with his ex. Then 3 days later he asked me for a divorce saying that his heart lies with his son and his sons mother. I was absolutely devastated and heartbroken. How can someone do that? From telling me everyday how much he loved me and telling me he has never loved any woman the way he loves me. His ex did say to him if you don’t divorce her and marry me then I am taking your son and moving away. That was 7 weeks ago. Him and his ex have been together on/off for 7 years and have broken like 40 times. I hadn’t spoken to him for a week and he has called me twice first time was supposedly by accident and the second time was just to talk to me. My heart still races when I hear his voice and all my feelings come flooding back. I don’t know what to do, I’m madly in love with him still, please give me some advice