A Magical Way To Bring A Man TO You

Untitled design (14)

When DeAnna of the Bachelorette chose Jesse, who then proposed to her on the spot (as he promised to do) – none of us had any idea if she’d made the “right” choice.

We could feel that both Jason and Jesse made her happy – and only hope that her choice of Jesse was real and would get her to Happy Ever After – forever.

But I was worried for DeAnna.

In the “After The Final Rose” show, DeAnna and Jesse came on together, and DeAnna’s “energy” was so “forward leaning” to Jesse (if you’ve read my work or have my Have The relationship You Want ebook and programs, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about, and I’ll be exploring those concepts of “leaning back” and “leaning forward” in later posts) that I saw her actually leaning in to him for a kiss over and over again. Jesse responded by kissing her – but the energy was clearly and obviously flowing from DeAnna to Jesse instead of the way it SHOULD BE – from HIM to HER.

Perhaps it was the excitement, the TV show, the audience. Perhaps in the time they spend together alone, Jesse’s as “into her” as he appeared to be during the “competition.” But – perhaps DeAnna, who so CLEARLY got SOFTER during the last weeks of the show, is slowly returning to her harder-edged, more emotionally closed and masculine-energy, forward-leaning style, and pushing Jesse back into his more “laid back” style.

I’m going to follow them over the next year, because I really believe DeAnna and this whole “reality show” experience is a great teaching Tool. For now, let’s work a bit with the concept of “Leaning Back.” Here’s a basic tip on how to do it:

  1. Notice how you’re sitting or standing when you’re with your man. Notice if your body is tilted forward or tilted backward. Notice if you’re leaning in to him, and he’s stretched out and leaning back – or if you’re leaning back and he’s sitting up and paying attention to you.
  2. If he’s leaning forward, notice how it feels, and if you’re leaning back, notice how it feels. Notice what he’s doing. Now SWITCH. Change your body position. Lean forward or backward. Now – see what happens to your man. He will most likely AUTOMATICALLY shift his position to COUNTER you.
  3. Now, whenever you feel like you’re working too hard, or want something from him he’s not offering, or feeling uncomfortable – notice that you’re probably leaning toward him and then SWITCH your body position to LEANING BACK.

This is an almost magical way to shift the entire dynamic of your relationship in a very simple, fast way. Let me know how this works for you, and then you’ll be ready to try so many of my other Tools – where you can create a complete TURNAROUND in your relationship just by changing the WORDS and body language you use.

Love, Rori

Posted in


  1.  #1Jem on January 31, 2009 at 6:38 am

    Well, they are no longer together and The Bachelor program is bringing her back into Jason’s life in the new Bachelor this week. Hmmm…

  2.  #2Uschi on September 8, 2009 at 10:14 am

    I would really like to know more about the leaning forward and backward. Is it a conscious effort of something you do when you feel you need to do it to bring him toward you? Is it something in the mind or something to do with your body. And most importantly when do you use this.

  3.  #3Nanceen on June 27, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Yes it does work. Even if you do it on purpose. You can also just turn slightly but point your feet in the other direction. This is a good one and I noticed other men walking by staring at my feet when I was with my boyfriend (they get, she is with him but might stray? oh my!) Oh boy does it work. You just have to consciously keep yourself turned away and body parts pointed away. If you relax too much you start to drift back. Dont be tense though, just firm. When I visited my boyfriend before I got up he would go to his studio and start work. He wanted me to come over in awhile and I did. I hated sitting there feeling so self conscious and him saying nothing and me holding up the conversation. It was horrible. I did something different. I sat in a swivel chair, you know the kind you can twirl. I wore a dress and sat myself down, fluffed out my skirt, scooted over to a table with a book, picked it up and proceeded to read it and be absorbed. I turned away from him. He stared for awhile. I kept reading. He asked if i liked the book. I turned back a little, smiled a huge smile and said yes. Then I slowly, very slowy turned away in my chair and drifited back into my book. He rummaged around in the back and brought out some lovely dishes from a tag sale and offered them to me. I oohed and ahhed over them and then drifted back into my book. He was baffled. He began to whistle and play with my hair. Then he asked me if I was hungry and wanted something to eat and I said Oh yes,because I was hungry and we went out to eat. I never said more than five words. After lunch I said five magic words. “Thank you, that was great!” On the trip home I turned away and dreamed happy daydreams out the window. I tried to stay away from the fact he never said “I Love you.” I said nothing but monosyllables and kept my body AND feet pointed away. I daydreamed dreams that truly did lift me up, quoted bible scripture to myself. When he dropped me off in my yard, I just got my things and said lightly “goodbye” and proceeded to instpect my flowers with great interest. He came over and stood a few feet from me. I just glanced at him, smiled a little and said yes? He stared and stared his usual way of NEVER saying a word and poor me talking and talking and always being the one to come forward to hug goodbye. I did not move and struggled to stay in a nice daydream of enjoying the beautiful day. He mumbled “love you” and I melted and said “do you? I love you also.” I did not step forward. I just turned my palms up a little and my face and smiled. He awkwardly stepped in and hugged me goodbye. Progress not perfection is the goal here ladies. Also I am flirting with other men. It feels good. Doesnt last a long time but puts some pep in my step. Even if they are guys I would probably not get into a relationship with it feels really nice to let them caress me (visually and verablly) with their appreciation. Then I hightail it out of wherever i am (a store, the dry cleaners etc.) and plan not to go back for a few weeks. HEE HEE!!