Come Out From Hiding So He Can See You This Way…

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Hi, this is Rori, and when I was a girl I TRIED to blend into the walls, the furniture, the rug, the curtains.

I WANTED to blend in. I wanted to disappear.

When I was thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen – all the parties were beginning and continuing, birthdays, religious celebrations, sweet sixteen, class parties, summer parties, neighborhood parties. I had non-stop heavy crushes then – on boys who didn’t even “see” me, let alone talk to me.

And I was so frightened of them, inside, that I put a heavy armor of “stiffness” all around me.

I basically opted out of high-school, and just dreamed about boys. (Until I got into the play production class, and started having lunch with the “actor-kids.” Another story,..)

There was a part of me (you know this part!) that was extroverted, wanted to be “out there” and seen, yes! – and it was constantly at war with my fear and overwhelming desire to not be rejected or ignored.

This is the standard, classic story for most women I meet and talk to – where “invisibility” was both awful and painful, and yet safe and comforting – and we all had different ways of coping.

My way of coping was to disappear into someone I called “Rori” – but who didn’t really exist. Like most teenagers, I had no idea who I truly was – but I built a wall around the covered up real Rori that stayed tall, strong and shut for most of my life. That wall did its job for nearly 40 years blocking me from love.

Tool: Open Your Fists

* Notice how, when you’re in the presence of a man (like when you’re on a date), you want to take control of what he’s doing or how the date is going.

* If the urge comes to control what he’s doing, notice it.

* Let’s say that he’s ordering a big appetizer and you think it’s too much and you want to say something.

* Stop. You already know this: A feminine energy woman does not control what others want to do.

* Do this instead: The minute you feel the urge to say something like: Turn your phone off when you’re on a date with me…

  • Go to your hands, and if they are closed into fists or they feel tight, open them.
  • Put your hands flat on your lap or on the table and
  • Feel the urge of control leave your body through your palms. Just let it move through your body and out your hands.

Controlling is exhausting and takes too much energy out of you. Not only that, controlling turns a man off and makes him feel emasculated.

Give up the urge to control and let him be the masculine energy man who leads and makes you feel cared for.

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Femininewoman on October 30, 2017 at 7:35 am

    Controlling is exhausting and takes too much energy out of you.

    Just reading that sentence feels exhausting