Don’t Get Caught in the “Lie” of Love

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love advice

Here’s a great guest post from my friends and amazing relationship coaches Orna and Matthew Walters

At some point every single one of us has been caught in the “LIE” of LOVE.

The lie of love that says we will never feel “this way” with anyone else. The lie of love that fears we can receive love in only this one way. The lie of love that says we can only have love with this one person.

It is easy to get stuck on the details of the past. We all spend time revisiting both the loving memories and the heartbreaks of old relationships. What we forget is that our memories are malleable. They change with time. We recreate them and alter them every time we revisit them. The more we nurture these memories, the more we get attached to the lie.

This lie of love keeps us stuck in the past. It keeps us stuck in our pain and heartbreak. It keeps us from being able to receive love from anyone else.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, the lie of love is an illusion. We decide that love has to exist in our life exactly how we want it. Our love has to arrive on our time schedule or else it is not love. Our love has to make us feel a certain way or else it is not love. Our lover has to express their love in a certain way to us or else it is not love.

This is the path to disappointment, pain and loneliness. And this path is perpetuated in literature, on TV, and in movies. The Truth of love is freeing – it is so much easier and allows us to receive what we truly desire. When we step into the Truth then we become the Master of Love!

What if we could be free from that lie and step into the TRUTH of LOVE?

The Truth of love is that love is everywhere. Love is created by you. No one can give you love, because it is always yours to have. Love has limitless expressions.

We’re not referring to some abstract idea of love. We mean feeling loved each and every day. Receiving that love from your soul mate, and giving that love in return.

The Truth of love is that love is your birthright. You were born perfect and whole. You simply have forgotten that Truth in the pain of experience, so you’ve been trying to become whole again through another person. You’ve been trying to feel complete through another person.

The only person who can complete you is you. And the way to do that is to realize that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. The truth of love is found in self-acceptance. Shining the light of love on those dark places inside of us.

It is time to change our relationship to those old memories so we can release ourselves from the lie. Look for the golden nugget in each past relationship. There is a gift for you to take away from your heartaches. Finding that gift allows you to grow and your love for self to expand.

Examine the ways in which you reject yourself. How often do you negate or reject your feelings by not expressing them? Maybe you hold back your true self and present a version of yourself that you believe will be more likeable or acceptable. You will not be loved for who you are until you start loving yourself for who you are.

When you learn to love yourself then love is available to you in each and every moment, and you can create love in your life under any circumstances, then you can experience the Truth – Love is inside of you and limitless.

When we get stuck thinking that LOVE is in the details – we set ourselves up for disappointment. We enter a relationship with hope – and that hope is the last thing to go. Only by releasing that hope (the hope that says love can only be fulfilled by this one person, at this time, and in this one way) can we open up to all the possibilities that love has to offer us.

What if every time your heart broke, it actually expanded and allowed room for more love to enter? When we release the lie, we welcome all our experiences as an opportunity to love ourselves more deeply. When we experience Love from inside of us, then and only then is it reflected back to us through the eyes of our Beloved.

Orna and Matthew Walters
Orna and Matthew are often referred to as “The Power Couple” – because they help their clients step back into their power and into love. Matthew Walters is a Certified Hypnotherapist who is also trained in NLP and Therapeutic Imagery. Orna Walters is a manifestation coach that utilizes the science of Hand Analysis. They each struggled with love relationships for the majority of their adult lives, individually mastered self-love allowing them to come together to form a true soul partnership. They work with clients all over the globe utilizing the tools of transformation. Orna and Matthew have been featured on Fox News, NBC, USA Networks, and KPFK radio.

Their business is Creating Love On Purpose™ which teaches you how to break old patterns that are keeping you from receiving the one thing you desire most of all – LOVE! Sign up for Love Notes Weekly™

Focus on Love – Change Your Life!

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  1.  #1kaitlyn on February 23, 2011 at 8:32 am


  2.  #2femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 8:33 am

    🙂 🙂 🙂
    i’m learning to open my heart up more and more…when i get hurt.releasing the thought that love is in the details….its hard but…baby steps 🙂

  3.  #3Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 8:38 am

    femenrgylove It is great to see you are still here.

  4.  #4Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 8:39 am

    “We decide that love has to exist in our life exactly how we want it.”


  5.  #5Summerbaby on February 23, 2011 at 8:41 am

    This is such a beautiful post. I think I may have to print it out and make it a ritual to read to myself morning and evening for a month until it really sinks in.

    Especially this part: “The only person who can complete you is you. And the way to do that is to realize that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. The truth of love is found in self-acceptance.”


  6.  #6Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 8:42 am

    God Rori, this post is good and timely. I feel it sinking deep inside my heart. Feels like water to a really dehydrated body. Wow.

  7.  #7Lisi on February 23, 2011 at 8:59 am

    I definitely love myself more now than I did ten years ago, and that’s reflected in my life.

    It seems like everyone else is married, but me.

    I feel sad, lonely and left out.

    Why were they all able to figure it out, but I couldn’t?


  8.  #8Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 9:01 am

    Alonka did you receive the following newsletter?

    do you ever feel like loving a man is such hard work — like it requires you to be the smartest woman on the planet, the sexiest woman on the planet, the funniest and cleverest woman on the planet, and the most patient and understanding woman imaginable?

    The truth is, none of these qualities are what a man is looking for, and trying to be all these things for a man does the exact opposite of what you want — instead of falling in love with you, he will see you as a friend and push you away.

  9.  #9Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 9:13 am

    Lisi the question is if the marriages are successful? People can be lonely in their marriages and in my opinion I’d prefer to be single and lonely than married and lonely. Sometimes marriages look good in public but behind closed doors it is something else. I sometimes feel that way but when I look at the marriages that have failed, some from classmates and some from friends at church I do not regret my life. I am happy I found this space and I look forward to the day when I get to my happily ever after. I could be a statistic of divorce but I am here building myself to be who I want to be and to create the love life I want to create. I chose to prefer that the universe will send me what I want. I choose that space. In the meantime I am content loving myself.

  10.  #10Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Typo edit “I choose to believe that the universe will send me what I want”.

  11.  #11Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 9:20 am

    So here’s a Tool to help you END all that suffering. Let’s call it: I AM ALL THAT!

    Try this –

    1. Imagine that your attractiveness is boundless, our eyes are magnets, your heart is an open pool of gold that every man wants to dive into, and your body (no matter what you think) is a lush place that every man longs for, feels awestruck just thinking about getting close to, and yet feels safe within.

    2. Imagine that’s what HE sees, thinks and feels.

    3. Whatever doubts, fears and thoughts that come up inside your head about being a boundless, magnetic pool of gold that every man longs for – let that nasty voice, those negative images, that heavy perspective simply STEP ASIDE.

    4. Let them simply step out of your picture for a moment (all you need is a moment), so this man who sees magnets, gold, boundless lushness and safety in you can GET to you.

    5. Paint this picture for yourself in your imagination right now, this moment, and keep it going all day and night, no matter what happens.

    6. Once this imaginary picture is in your mind, and the good feelings it brings are in your heart and body – when you’re in the market, at the drugstore, walking down the street, waiting in line at the coffee house you will begin to EXPERIENCE yourself as a magnet for men. You will easily be able to imagine the energy of every REAL man coming towards you.

    7. Leanback – actually tilt your body backwards — to keep your energy in “Receiving” mode while you’re imagining every man you meet (especially the one you may be in a relationship with right now) GIVING energy to YOU.

    The absolute truth is that YOU are at the CENTER of hundreds of men who want you. You’re just likely focused, like so many of us are, on ONE particular man who’s got a hold on your heart.

  12.  #12Summerbaby on February 23, 2011 at 9:34 am

    I tried “I am all that” yesterday. Please use with caution! OMG… In the last 12 hours I had a date with a brand new guy, received two phone calls from two other guys both former interests, and an email from a long former guy.

    It’s freaky!


  13.  #13Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 9:34 am

    Hello, world. I am thankful for my surprise on Monday. I am thankful for the now limited Internet connection; it will help me keep my horse on the path close to the bridge. It will bring my sweetie to me.


  14.  #14Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 9:38 am

    Summerbaby I am all for using Rori’s tools with reckless abandon. I think it and I say it.

  15.  #15Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 9:43 am

    @1425: Femininewoman

    Hi FW:
    I swiped some of your words. They are very good reminders. Thank you. I hope you don’t mind.

    Wise words from FW:

    “…Stop focussing on what he is doing and
    focus on yourself to change your vibe. Change up your hairstyle, your nail polish, choose one color and wear it all the time baby blue, baby pink, lavender, this will help change your vibe. …

    …wear dresses, lacy clothes…

    ….Focus on yourself and lifting your vibe. Rori teaches circular dating even when married, date yourself, do things that make you happy, flirt with other guys for practice (it can mean just smiling at men as you pass them on the street).

    These things will help you lift your vibe. Your goal is to feel good about yourself and your life. This has to be with or without him…”

    Wednesday, 23 February 2011 @ 6:09am


  16.  #16Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 9:43 am

    When you’re free of obsession and neediness, and start communicating with men the Rori Raye way – with my Tools, words and body language and the new attitude they’ll help you get both inside and out, it takes the pressure off of him and off the relationship. It’s as though the relationship moves forward all on its own – without any effort or stress or suffering on your part at all.

    When he actually feels that YOU’RE HAPPY, and that HE’S the one making you happy, he’ll be happy. Men look to us to lead them through a relationship. And yet, we can’t take the lead, or we’ll push them away.

    We have to lead a man through a relationship just by being so comfortable inside ourselves that he feels compelled to move it forward on his own.

    You’re suddenly more fun than his friends, than his hobbies – even more fun than the TV!

  17.  #17Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 9:44 am

    SLV they are Rori’s words I read somewhere, think maybe an eNewsletter.

  18.  #18Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Hello, my sister Buccaneers…

    It’s getting a little grey hat around here… tee hee 😆


  19.  #19Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 9:47 am


    That’s OK. I think there’s some of you inside there too. I got a little perk up when I read those words.


  20.  #20Summerbaby on February 23, 2011 at 9:48 am

    SLV, I’m not familiar with that saying “a little grey hat around here”…. what does that mean please?


  21.  #21femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 9:55 am

    yeah i’m still here 🙂
    i’m on day 6 of leaning back.and today has been a little uncomfortable as i’ve felt i needed a lot of hugs and kisses and affection.
    i’ve stayed home,cleaned up and studied for my next exam.and now i’m workingon makingm y dinner.there is a football game i intend on watching.i’d feel so good if we could watch it would feel so good to be togehter and laugh like we ususally do.but it did not feel good to have him walk out of a bar,that he had gone to without inviting me,right after his ex showed up.he left and his friends sort of talked to me,and told her i was his new woman,i could tell by how her and her friends looked me up and down and whispered.yes it was uncomfortable for him because obviously he has not dealt with his issues.he is not sure.and i do not feel like being with a man who is unsure about his feelings for me,and does not acknowledge me when his ex shows up…and he FLEES!and has not contacted me in 6 days…….ah…..i’m the girl here….outgirling outgirling outgirling……and i’m goin to have a super dinner.i love kidney beans…..

  22.  #22Summerbaby on February 23, 2011 at 9:59 am

    FW @ 14,

    you said, “Summerbaby I am all for using Rori’s tools with reckless abandon. I think it and I say it.”

    More power to you FW, that’s great. For me, however, it feels like a firehose of attention. I’d prefer a gentler gardenhose of intensity, so I need to figure out a little tweak to tone it down a bit.


  23.  #23Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:00 am

    RE 21 He is obviously scared but I would not encourage you to chase after him, no. Just to let hou know though that Rori has a tool where she encourages us to imagine you and the man being in public and there are a lot of women surrounding him. Touching him and reaching out to him. Then imagine him only having eyes for you. I will see if I can find it and post it for you.

    Re 20 Summerbaby could it be an angelic halo?

  24.  #24Alonka on February 23, 2011 at 10:01 am


    #8: yes, I know that newsletter. I was not doing this! And he knew I was a good girl, even too good. It wasn’t easy for him to get me either. Enough of him, he just can’t do it and he never meant to. He may even know it himself, it didn’t ‘just happen’.

    But I may use this ‘contract’ approach next time, at least partially, or ask questions.

  25.  #25Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:01 am

    See how life is Summerbaby, some of us want the firehose while others have and don’t want it.

  26.  #26Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:02 am

    @1: kaitlyn says:

    “Number One” is good luck…a reminder that we create luck and we also create love.



  27.  #27Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:08 am

    RE 24 Yep. For me things work best when I keep the mindset of trying out. At times it works, at other times it doesn’t. I also get to focus on what I do and what I don’t like and what makes me feel comfortable. It also sends a subtle message to the guys that this girl knows what she is doing which presents the challenge that they want, not necessarily the competition. Pay attention to what they are saying about themselves as well as pay attention to the actions towards you. Forget focussing on their words, especially in a new situation. People are on their best behavior for sometimes up to 6 months, then they are likely to drop their guard and show you who they really are. IMHO after sex the way they act they really don’t have to impress us. They are focussed on impressing us before sex and when they are sure they want us in their lives forever. Almost every guy I have asked indicate that the play the disappearing game after sex, especially when they are not sure they want more from the relationship.

  28.  #28Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:10 am

    @12: Summerbaby says:
    I tried “I am all that” yesterday. …It’s freaky.

    Ooohh, yum! I haven’t read that one yet. I no longer have same Internet connection and I’m behind on “stuff.” Trying to catch up with less time online.

    In the big scope of things I know less time online is a gift from my guardian angel to keep me on focus.

    In the meantime… I’m going to get some of that “I am all that.”


  29.  #29Pamelala on February 23, 2011 at 10:11 am

    Oh ladies, I woke up this morning longing for P. I almost wish he hadn’t called last Friday because he promptly disappeared again. I know that the longing is for the imaginary part of our relationship, but the pull is still there.

    I’m glad I have to leave for work in 30 minutes because if I sit here much longer I might craft an e-mail to him. I just want to be in his presence, whether it is to make love or to say goodbye…the ambiguity and waiting is torturous! ARGH!!!!

  30.  #30Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:13 am

    RE 27 knocksoftly You did not include your email address?

  31.  #31Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:14 am

    @22: Summerbaby

    …the mp3s.. 😆 best to put aside until later…


  32.  #32femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 10:18 am

    i would really appreciate that.i can feel deep in my heart that chasing him is not the thing to do here…meaning i have some of rori’s tools engrained in my head.YAY!!
    also i know it would feel so good to have him grow a pair and claim me 🙂
    i feel good,cooking my potatoes,preparing my beans…waiting for the game…i have a bottle of chilean red…but i’m cutting down on the alcohol….so hmmmm…water water water.

  33.  #33Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:18 am

    SLV Lisi’s response from previous thread

    1474: Lisi says:
    SLV –

    I used to talk like that about men, too. While studying law of attraction, I read a quote that I used to have on my wall. I think it went: “you cannot attract that which you despise.”

    For me, when I said things like: “he talks like men are human,” that was a symptom of my deep-seated anger against men. Even though I thought it was humor, it was really an expression of an internalized rage.

    That’s what it was for me.


  34.  #34Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:20 am

    knocksoftly I just sent one to your email. Let me know if you got it.

  35.  #35Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:20 am

    What date is the “I am all that” Rori newletter?


  36.  #36Prairie Girl on February 23, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Sirens I posted this on the last topic I hope you don’t mind if I repost… I just wanted to make sure Sirens who might still be doubting if the tools work read it…

    I’m still not back to being Pollyanna Sunshine but it feels good to get validation that the skills I’m learning are worth the effort.. and work… And will make my life better…. period.

    last pm my mom said “you know your using these tools like fishing lures and you are going to get Lawman CB to fall in love w/you ( yeah right, after he dropped off the planet for almost 48 hrs? WTF?) and then you’re gonna have to decide if you want him”…

    Of course I absolutely do not believe this because it hits right up to my neg belief/nasty voice that says no hip/sexy man w/50 women chasing him is ever going to choose and KEEP choosing ME… and while that hasn’t happened RR’s tools are what has brought him into my life…

    Remember 2 threads ago when I was complaining about him wanting ME to contact him? I’ll recap…

    He wrote on the dating site and said email him.. I said I’m old fashioned… he said thats okay but not a reason to communicate.. I said i AM communicating.. He finally wrote to my email (instead of the dating sites)..

    Then he gave me his number and I came up w/my new standard line for this… feel free to use it… “I feel icky calling a man I’m not in some kind of relationship with first… Unless I’m going to hire him to fix something”…

    So he called… and then kept calling.. 2-3 times a day… phone sex… contacts… he never goes to women to meet they all come to him… I’m 4 hrs away… he’s moaned and groaned… then said he’d come…

    THEN DISAPPEARED!!!!!!!!! From me and FB both… I just knew he was shacked up with a woman… The girls on his FB were going crazy…

    This AM he calls… I said ‘Oh I thought you fell off the planet”.. he laughed and said “I sorta did”… me “did you have fun off planet?”… him ” well you won’t believe me”… I said “I believe you”… He said.. “I’ve been trying to stay away from you… staying offline (FB)too…I was with this really nice girl… she’s really into me.. and I had sex w/her… but …. I couldn’t stop thinking about you… I wanted to hear the sounds you make when you come…I feel bad… I don’t want to hurt anyone.. I don’t even know you, but I can’t stop thinking of you”….

    Okay folks… That is RR all the way… I’m the only woman in his life that doesn’t chase him… IDK what to do with him/make of him… I told him how sad and hurt I’ve been. I told him I felt like I had a big bulls eye on my forehead for “players”…. IDK …he says he doesn’t want to randomly date anymore…

    Then of course he wants me to tell him, I want him, need him… oh and LOVE him… he tells me that he wants me…wants to meet… I keep thinking about the “wanting me to take care of him emotionally”…

    He’s told this girl that he’d celebrate her BD w/her on Fri then he says he wants to get his head on straight..

    I said I didn’t know if he could let go of all the runnin he’s doing… If he was addicted to the attention… I said I’d like to know why his eyes are sad in all his pics on FB…he said I was very perceptive…

    IDK what the message is in this other than RR tools work… I’m a believer….

    This doesn’t help my negative beliefs or make me feel hopeful. I’ve told God to please not let him come see me if I’m just going to get my heart broke… I told him I did that too… and to listen to how he “felt led”…

    I am so grateful for all you gorgeous Sirens here sharing your journey’s with us… I don’t get to respond to all of them… I’m trying to get better at dropping to the bottom to comment then going back up and reading more otherwise there are so many I want to comment on but forget by the time I read to the bottom…

    Just know that when you post… good/bad/learning/questions… that even if not very many people respond.. many many people are learning from your lessons because you’re sharing them..

    Did that even make sense?

    Angels on your bodies

  37.  #37Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:24 am

    RE 33 I have seen where it is said that it is in the “space” that guys fall in love, one reason why they return. We have also seen cases here where the girl reached out to the guys after a disappearing act only to be told by the guy that he is breaking up with her. It ends up feeling better when they get bored with their own games and reach out to us. “I love to have relationships with grown men because I feel bored easily with little boy games”.

  38.  #38Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:26 am

    @30: Pamelala says:
    “… I almost wish he hadn’t called last Friday because he promptly disappeared again. I know that the longing is for the imaginary part of our relationship, but the pull is still there…”

    I know what you mean. In the words of Cee Lo Green: “Ain’t that some sh*t!”


  39.  #39Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:29 am

    @34: Femininewoman says:

    “… I think it went: “you cannot attract that which you despise.’….”

    Would anyone want to…?


  40.  #40Summerbaby on February 23, 2011 at 10:33 am


    I used I am all that along with physical lean back and imagining the waterwheel… I think perhaps I will leave out the waterwheel next time because I’m not sure what to do with all the men littered around! 😉

    And yet, in all this knowing that there are so many to choose from, I still want the want that is plodding at a turtle pace. Is it so wrong to want more contact than once/week? *sigh* I don’t suppose pointing out all this attention and offers from other men to him will help my cause any.

    I should have my new Rori programs I purchased last week today. Am excited to learn some new tools for helping me be more committed to myself!


  41.  #41tinque on February 23, 2011 at 10:38 am

    SLV – How are you feeling? Any better?

    It’s all your fault. You got me hooked on Freecell. It can be a challenge, but now I have the hang of it, and I win too often. I still enjoy it though, more fun than regular solitaire.

    Thank you. My books have been abandoned. For now.

  42.  #42Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:39 am

    “…Even though I thought it was humor, it was really an expression of an internalized rage.
    That’s what it was for me. Lisi…”

    When I was listening to CC had I impression that he regarded men as similar to “women” “me” “me the human.” I used to think this way about men, but I’ve been doing some tweaking in my thinking as I learn new things.

    Maybe men are a little different. Or maybe they are a whole lot different. I don’t despise them. I want to communicate effectively with them. There was nothing in CC’s podcast that I disagreed with.

    I have met some men that repelled me. I don’t have much interest in attracting that sort. I don’t want to waste my time.


  43.  #43Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:41 am

    RE 37 PG it made sense to me. I particularly like the comment about the look in his eyes that he responded to. I had a gay guy tell me last year that he was going to marry me because I was able to identify the emotion behind the words he was sharing. He got so close to me that he shared what he was feeling in the moment. We created sevaral of those moments after that but I was quite conscious that he is gay. I share that because I want people to understand that we can practice regardless of the circumstances because it is about the masculine and feminine energy that relationships need to be relationships in the first place.

    You seemed to have done well in the situation you shared and as far as I am concerned there is no need for you to give him your heart to break it. You can share it and let him in but remember we learnt that they want us to love our hearts more than we love them. He is obviously attracted to you because you are different so I would hold my ground and let him come to me if I was in your shoes. In the meantime I would continue flirting with others to get dates if possible. He should also know that until someone you want shows up with a ring and a date you are keeping your options open. I would say if he really shows up don’t repeat again about “how sad and hurt I’ve been”. He will need to hope that your happiness is not dependent on him and that you have the ability to make your life happy without him. Time for practicing “I’m all that”.

  44.  #44Lori C on February 23, 2011 at 10:41 am

    RE: 37
    “Just know that when you post… good/bad/learning/questions… that even if not very many people respond.. many many people are learning from your lessons because you’re sharing them..”

    I am one of those many, many people. I can’t tell you how much it has helped the last two weeks, being here and soaking it up. I have so far to go but am yet, feeling so much stronger.


  45.  #45femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 10:42 am

    @12 summerbaby…give me some of that!!!
    i didnt get the i’m all that newsletter either…..sneaking off to investigate..

  46.  #46Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 10:47 am

    PG…thanks for that post! 🙂 i love hearing stories about how the tools have been successful…regardless of the the outcome 🙂

    SLV..I still think you’re funny…you’re sense of humor is so dry!

    Thanks for the “ALL THAT” reminder…i’m going to implement that starting….RIGHT NOW

    Femenergylove…6 DAYS??!! you are awesome! hmmm…that would feel really bad to have him walk out…sad 🙁 but you are doing a great job of being the “anchor”!!! that’s a tool of Rori’s….it was in an e letter

  47.  #47Lisi on February 23, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Hello, Sirens —

    So, this am I heard from M. I texted him yesterday that I didn’t like it when we were texting and (to me) in the middle of a convo & no answer from him.

    This am, he texted & said his phone died and the company is sending him a new one. He was very sweet & made sure to say good bye.

    Since that hasn’t been his pattern, I’m pleased.


    Also, a high school friend on FB asked where my high school bf was. I was CRAZY about him. He was a foreign exchange student from Germany. Since his host-dad is on my friends list, I emailed him & asked, then passed the info on to my friend.

    It was weird to hear that he’s married — with a hyphenated name! — and two kids.

    That’s what sent me spiraling down a bit this am. Feeling sad that my bestest friends are all married. Even the gay couple who can’t legally marry is celebrating 15 years.

    I’m ready for happily ever after guy. I’m ready for building a future guy. I’m ready for my daughter’s step-dad.

    It’s time now.


  48.  #48Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:56 am

    I got the All That on Feb 22.

  49.  #49Lisi on February 23, 2011 at 10:57 am

    Femininewoman —

    I think you’ve been “all that” for much longer than a day.


  50.  #50Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Lori C glad to hear you are feeling better.

  51.  #51Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:02 am


    What books did you abandon?

    FreeCell is great because I have more chance to use skill, less luck…like using Rori tools!!! It’s also a good way to stop me from “dwelling on things” so I can focus on myself.

    I’m feeling somewhat better. Thanks for your kind words. I haven’t checked out the sour red cherries yet but I’m thankful you brought the source for them to my attention.


  52.  #52Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 11:03 am

    so….pipeliner called me this morning and said he’s relocating to Louisiana for work and has to be there Monday…

    HIM: baby..big things are happening
    ME: oh ya?
    HIM: ya…i got a call last night about going to work in
    HIM: are you mad/upset?
    ME: no…it doesn’t really effect me…and it’s hard to
    what this really means honestly..
    HIM: ok well I just wanted to let you know as soon as
    ME: ok thank you…as long as you feel good about it
    that’s all that really matters
    HIM: ok i want you to come visit me…
    ME: ok…well…ill let you get going on what you have
    to do
    HIM: ok ill call you later


    Ok so i feel weird about things…i want to stay in my feelings..part of me feels like..why keep this going…another part…let’s just see what happens…

    i know he has lots of experience with women freaking out on him because of his job so he prepares himself for me to be upset…

    my reaction: flips my hand in the air..hmmm…whatever do your doesn’t effect me…

    Not sure if that’s good either…lol


    so…still implementing “the IM ALL THAT” with the water wheel and the lean back in my AMAZING row boat with blue skies and a light breeze…YUM!

  53.  #53Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:05 am

    @49: Jilly



  54.  #54Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Am listening to Carol Allen and have heard some things taught by CC such as telling stories using gossip. Also guys will be very honest on the first dates. Believe what they say and follow up with a question or two on what they say in the first date. Guys tell the truth on the first date.

  55.  #55Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 11:06 am

    so rereading the phone conversation…

    it did feel a little disconnected but i know he had so much on his mind right then…since he was at work and had to talk to the different foremen..and he made it a point to call me right away…

    I feel happy about that…

  56.  #56Lori C on February 23, 2011 at 11:11 am

    Thanks, FW. I am not crying anymore but am amazed at the depth of my anger some days. Yesterday was one of those days.. I am struggling with forgivenss in a big way. I understand that it is something that will be a greater gift to me but I just don’t know if I am really there yet.

    I feel so angry about all of it. Lies, deceit, betrayal…you name it, I am feeling it. BUT, isn’t that progress? I AM feeling it. And, I am not attacking myself for any of it. You know, those NV’s aren’t even allowed inside right now.

    Love and forgiveness, I want to be that…it’s the only way to grow and move forward to what I really want.

    I feel stuck.
    I feel so angry I want to yell, LOUD!!

  57.  #57Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:12 am

    I’m not uploading anything until I can get new routines worked out for online. It might be weeks. I hope everyone is OK and has their needs met.


  58.  #58Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 11:15 am

    Feeling the urge to call him so I can be more compassionate..less flippant about his life choices…lol

    that is totally overfunctioning…i wont do it..

    just feeling the urge to call him
    feeling the urge to connect with him
    feeling the urge to “be there” for him

    NOPE!! not gonna do it…even though i’m not freaking out on him…i’m still a girly girly girly girly girly girl…
    I was kinda singin my own song 😉

  59.  #59Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 11:15 am

    Lori C remember it is babysteps.

  60.  #60Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:16 am

    @57: Femininewoman says:
    :…Guys tell the truth on the first date…”

    I truly believe this. On the first few dates. And also when they tell little stories and jokes, there are nuggets of info there!!!


  61.  #61Alonka on February 23, 2011 at 11:22 am

    Lori C

    May it help to take breaks from thinking about this? Say no forgiveness, or understanding or actually any thought about this one hour a day? Or maybe 2 hours? 2 hours when you live as if it’s not part of your life. Actually, it’s not if to think about it. With people who treat us this way we say thank you very much, why don’t you go your way and I will live my life, for better or worse, but I will be the one controlling it. BLOCK.

  62.  #62Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 11:39 am

    RE 65 Welcome. I am happy to hear.

    Alonka I can’t tell you how proud I feel in my heart when I see you here thinking through scenarios and encouraging someone else. Such a huge difference from when you first showed up. I am really proud of you.

  63.  #63Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Carol Allen

    Don’t talk about your grandchildren, it makes guys feel old.

  64.  #64Lori C on February 23, 2011 at 11:58 am


    Thank you! This is good stuff along with the gentle reminder about baby steps.


  65.  #65Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    @65: knocksoftly says:
    “…Did a visualization of “enery cord cutting” I found online yesterday…”

    Could you share your source? I think this would be a very handy tool to have. Thank you. I hope it’s helping you keep your focus.



  66.  #66Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    @67: Femininewoman says:

    “…Don’t talk about your grandchildren, it makes guys feel old…”

    And guys don’t want to feel old… Roger and out! Oh, FW, thanks for sharing this. Thank you, thank you.

    I think I do this…I know I do this! I’m going to make the cute little critters part of my “secret life.” hahaha LOL Hide’em in the attic. 😆

    My lips are now zipped!

    Oh, why didn’t I think of this before?????


  67.  #67Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    RE 69 I think it was Lori who shared a link in the previous thread about cord cutting.

  68.  #68Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    SLV got that from Carol Allen. That’s why I am open to learning from every coach, they all have something to share though most of the material is similar. Ella and Boomer I believe could identify with her.

  69.  #69Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Thanks, FW. I’ll go look.

    I feel so naked and vulnerable now that I no longer have 24/7 Internet connection and I’m afraid to FTP because of timing out. I’m telling myself that I like a challenge (it’s true, I do! damn perverse, ain’t?) And I am not looking a gift horse in the mouth (this Internet snag) even if it does come in peculiar looking pink and purple polka dots… LOL I do need to work on personal projects offline; I have an “excuse” now because I’m still not getting around as well but should be near back to OK end of next week.


  70.  #70Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    FW…i am having the same issure as knocksoftly …would you mind emailing them to me??? 🙂

    loneplum emailed them but i cant click on them…

    my email… …thank you!

  71.  #71Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Quicky question. I’m organizing. How exactly did the does/did the summit go. Is there a main speaker and then a couple for each day? Is there a main program list in chronological order?

    I am telling myself not to be such a fussbudget but snap, I am!


  72.  #72Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    People who are interested in Astrology, who are disgusted with internet dating, who might be recently crushed in a relationship and into “spirituality” would learn a lot from Carol Allen IMHO and find encouragement from the interview on the Summit.

  73.  #73Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    @72: Femininewoman says:
    “…SLV got that from Carol Allen. That’s why I am open to learning from every coach, they all have something to share though most of the material is similar…”

    Yep, that’s the way I’m learning. Some things just call to me and those stick while other things slip away.

    “…Ella and Boomer I believe could identify with her….”

    Does Carol Allen have a “defining motif?” For instance, I tend to think of EMK as Evan Marc “dump his ass” Katz although he’s much more than that. EMK is very big on not getting “stuck.” Me, I could mull over stuff FOREVER…

    I’ll go listen to her now…


  74.  #74Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Carol says soft/feminine energy men might be relieved if you say hi first.

    SLV did you look at this link

  75.  #75tinque on February 23, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    SLV – Glad you’re feeling some better, some is better than none, but I still wish for you to feel fantastic. It’s a lovely day for walking. Possible yet?

    “What books did you abandon? ”

    Sigh. I’m an avid reader. Eat them up really. K always buys me a stack of books for Christmas and for b’day. And in the stack, there is always a big, thick one. I save it for last. I’m reading it right now. Almost finished 🙂 yet 🙁 too, and birthday is still almost two months away.

    So Freecell is filling in some space so that my books can last longer. Wow. I guess freecell has been a blessing.


  76.  #76Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    A Carol Allen Newsletter

    Who was it who spoke about the shamanic cord cutting?

    “Do you find it hard to let go of men from your past?

    Do you sometimes still fantasize about an ex?

    Or worse, do you torture yourself that a romance didn’t “go the distance,” or question if you did the right thing by breaking up with someone, even though it seemed like a good idea at the time?

    I used to be like that…

    So, I know what it’s like to be unable to move on, even when you have no choice.

    And it can be pure AGONY.

    Especially if you feel like you BLEW it somehow, and you were SUPPOSED to end up together.

    These kinds of thoughts can keep you from even noticing a world of nice men all around you, and shut your heart down, blocking you from having any kind of real love life with anyone else.

    This is so common, and so important, that I’ve included an entire section on how to heal the past in my program, “Single Syndrome – The Five Astrological Archetypes Keeping You Single and How to Overcome Them.”

    One of the things I share is a powerful shamanic healing ritual that works like magic to help you release any men from the past you’re still attached to.

    See a great email below from a reader of mine who gave the program and ritual a try:

    * * * * * * * * * *

    Hi Carol,

    I can’t say enough good things about you. The products I’ve bought from you have been really helpful to me and I have to say, the trick for breaking the bonds to old relation- ships really worked. It was amazing.

    It’s not that I stopped thinking about the guy altogether, but the obsessiveness of the thoughts and the questioning of myself in the decision to leave the relationship did. I didn’t feel the strong pull toward him anymore. It was a huge relief. When I did think about him I saw clearly who he was, what he was capable of and what he wasn’t in relationship with me without judgment on either of us. I could appreciate what he did bring to me and know that he wasn’t “the one.” And when I felt wistful of the relationship I remembered right away why it didn’t serve me in what I wanted and it was easy to let go. I didn’t have to work at it and the turning of my thoughts away from him was gentle.

    In the past, I have had such a hard time letting go and I tortured myself over the decision ad nauseum, especially because I felt a connection. This relief was wonderful and is making it so much easier to look forward and be open to new men.

    Thank you. God bless you, M.K. San Diego, CA

    * * * * * * * * * *

    Wowza! Isn’t that WONDERFUL? Good job, M.K.!

    I’m soooo happy for her, and so thrilled that she gave the ritual a shot. Years ago when I couldn’t stop crying over a big break up, I learned this ritual from a healer.

    And it sounded like a bunch of woo-woo mumbo- jumbo, but I had the same experience as M.K.

    I suddenly stopped crying. And I saw clearly, as though with a more spiritual point of view, WHY we needed to break up.

    Like M.K., I felt a HUGE connection to my ex., but knew that we shouldn’t stay together at that time, even though it was very painful.

    My guy found someone else soon after, and my connection to him was so powerful that I began dreaming of what they were doing and where they were going – and my dreams were right!

    Mutual friends would tell me about trips they went on just days after I saw it all in a dream… even seeing exactly what she looked like.

    It was driving me CRAZY.

    So I did the ritual, and overnight it all stopped.

    The dreams ceased.

    The pain diminished – greatly.

    The connection to him began to fade.

    I still missed him, but like M.K., I started trusting that it was all going to be okay.

    I trusted that we’d made the right choice by breaking up.

    And I wasn’t so tormented anymore.

    I no longer looked for them everwhere, obsessively noticing every car that looked like his… or driving by all the places we used to go.

    Like M.K., my thoughts “gently” turned away from him.

    And like M.K., I was no longer looking backward – I was looking forward, able to experience new men.

    (And I did! But that’s another story… :))

    And, miraculously – that same love came back years later when we were both ready, and he’s been my husband for more than a decade since.

    If we’d married when we were together before, it never would have worked.

    And if I hadn’t been able to let him go, and fully “marry myself” in that time apart, it still never would have worked.

    So, amazingly, letting him go both freed me and ensured that we’d end up “happily ever after” later.

    (So you don’t have to worry that releasing a man may mean you’ll release a man you’re MEANT to be with. If it’s “meant to be” it WILL be – when the time is right!)

    I’ve shared this ritual with many women over the years, and they’ve all loved it…

    I can’t tell you why it works. I just know that for me and M.K. and so many others, it has!

    So if you need help “moving on” or getting more excited about your future as you are stuck in your past, then “Single Syndrome” is for you. So check it out by going here:

    It has the very best tools and techniques for letting go of the pain of yesterday, and bringing forward your happy tomorrow that I’ve ever seen anywhere.

    Don’t spend another day doubting what’s happened to you, or thinking it was all a big mistake, or feeling like you “blew it,” or emotionally holding on to a man you can’t have anymore…

    You didn’t “blow it” – I promise you – and with a little help, you can heal from all this pain, and open your heart and get excited and motivated to create everything you want.

    And when that happens, you’ll have a future so bright “ya gotta wear shades…”

    My favorite thing in all of Vedic astrology are the techniques for romantic compatibility because they can reveal why a relationship can feel so good in some ways, and so bad in others.

    Two people can feel that “soulmate” kind of feeling, but yet only have the destiny to be together a short time – and it can all be seen in the stars!

    And those breakups are the absolute hardest to get over or move on from, because you’ll FEEL that the relationship was so special, and yet you couldn’t make it work.

    So you’ll think it was YOUR FAULT and that you screwed up with a soulmate (and those don’t come around every day!), so you either have to figure out how to get him back, or you have to spend the rest of your life with men you don’t love anywhere near as much.

    (Pass the Kleenex and chocolates about now.)

    This report breaks a relationship down into fifteen steps – several of them have to do with the day-to-day stuff of making a relationship work with a man, things like:

    – Can you communicate?

    – Do you have chemistry?

    – Do you have similar tastes and interests?

    – Is there a foundation of friendship?

    But then it reveals if you have enough MOJO to actually move forward together as a couple, indicating things like:

    – Do your circumstances support your being together?

    – Does your relationship have meaning and purpose that’s “bigger than the both of you?”

    – Can you move forward together with shared goals, or does everything you try to build fall apart?

    Those last things have NOTHING to do with if you love each other or can “get along” but have everything to do with if you have the KARMA to be a full couple or not (forgive me but there’s no better word for it).

    And if those things aren’t working for you, it’s very difficult to stay together or make a lasting future, no matter HOW much you love each other or how hard you “work at it.”

    So stop beating yourself up and living in the land of “would’ve, could’ve and should’ve” about your past.

    See the truth of what it was, and live to love another day!”

  77.  #77Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Hi everyone!

    I feel behind on posts and I have a lot going on right now with work. If I didn’t respond to anyone, I apologize.

    I feel really excited to wrap up this project I’m working on.

    I wanted to repost that link from Brenda about the dating blog survey. I would love to see Rori get support there.

    Love to you all!

  78.  #78Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    P.S. Thank you again Lone Plum. I feel touched by the generosity of your spirit!

  79.  #79Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    FW, I have that link. I’m going over the list as it appears but not sure they actually appeared in that order the seminar numbers seem out of order and some have NO seminar number.

    I’m making a list thinking to rename files in order. Even as I write this i know this mght not make any damn sense. Oh why do I do this sh*t?

    note: She is mentioning “Pat Allen.” Is she “Carol” Allen.

    A few months ago I was thinking I was “doomed” due to “lack of” femininity. Oh, well.

    I think I will listen to this more than once.

    Oh, Lord i’m an alpha. Feelings of doom are fast returning…


  80.  #80Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    I put in my vote.

  81.  #81Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    Ooooo SLV, I feel ya.

    Right now I’m questioning that about myself too.

    Am I too overbearing?
    Am I too alpha?
    Will I ever be able to surrender to the leadership of a man?

    This too will pass. We are feminine. We can do this!

  82.  #82Daria on February 23, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    I think that, even if a lot of us haven’t voted, the sheer number of comments everyday show that Rori’s blog is Amazing!

  83.  #83Daria on February 23, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    I must be the most ALPHA ever ! And i will kick anyone’s ass that dares challenge that!

    my fantasiez as a little girl – think 5 – were a man that could beat me in a sword fight


    i LOVE surrendering to a man now… no swordfight needed

    the more fem he is, the more i get challenged to be even more fem


    its like diving deep into the depth of the ocean

  84.  #84Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Carol Allen mentioned Pat Allen.
    I don’t remember the order the speakers were in but frankly speaking there was no signifance in the order from what they were saying. At least I did not see any significance to it.

  85.  #85Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    ok…i feel bad asking again…:(
    but would anyone mind emailing me the links for the summit stuff?

  86.  #86Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    Jilly I did in 78 but some of them have already been removed. If you put your email here Loneplum has been kindly sending to people via their emails.

  87.  #87Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    Ladies ladies are we forgetting that Rori teaches that we can turn this thing around?

  88.  #88jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Hi! all….Love Orna! and the post –

    this is interesting in a business sense, but it’s also interesting to me because it’s the way I described sitting to pull guys to you –
    taking up space….

    vs. making yourself small.

    According to Harvard Business School’s study, “Power Posing: Brief Nonverbal Displays Affect Neuroendocrine Levels and Risk Tolerance,” sitting in a position that oozes confidence (i.e. legs up on your desk, chest puffed out, or leaning forward) will make people deem you powerful.


    It raises testosterone levels by roughly 20% and lowers the stress hormone cortisol by the same. The reverse is also true. If you slouch, cross your legs, or look weak, it works against you. Sitting powerfully for just two minutes can make a psychological difference.

    According to the study, “High-power posers were more likely than low-power posers to focus on rewards— 86.36% took an offered gambling risk (only 13.63% were risk averse). In contrast, only 60% of the low-power posers took the risk (and 40% were risk averse).

    Finally, high-power posers reported feeling significantly more “powerful” and “in charge.”

    So – the lean back helps us psychologically against all data because we “believe” it will?


  89.  #89Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    @79: tinque

    I’ve been walking for couple days but not with total abandon, as I like, or I will have poor circulation get muscle fatigue in that leg. Some exercise helps circulation but too much counterproductive.

    But it’s coming along and if i lose weight, no blood sugar problems and get muscles stronger problem might not return, yea! Already this time is much, much milder than last year.

    Share any titles? I stopped reading my Black History Month pick. I’ll try to get back to it tomorrow. I’ve found when I’m feeling very unwell and worried about it, it’s difficult to concentrate on anything else. I think the same happens when there is psychic pain with a relationship; pain is distracting.

    I’m reading this: “Someone Knows My Name” by Lawrence Hill.


  90.  #90jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    I posted that you sit next to an empty chair, throw your arm over it, put your feet with legs crossed up in front of you and relax….

    and if a guy’s confident enough to approach you then…

    he’s a chaser and you can lean all you want. haha

  91.  #91Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    This post is so true – thx orna and matthew. I experience love all the time – I feel awed by it – in and through myself and others. I don’t feel lacking in love – even feel love coming to me from TN man and WH – but I do feel lacking in having the relationship I want.

  92.  #92Daria on February 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    when i was young – 6 – i had two male influences

    1. was my best friend, a chubby guy who I think I used to be the leader with and he basically spent time with me and followed me around, and we had great safe fun… i did not like him ‘like that’

    2. was this golden haired boy i ‘saw’ glimpsed running with his golden hair, and it reminded me of the golden deer i read about in a fairytale (gold was a big time motif for amazing, rare, lifechanging)…

    i think i Gasped that i wanted him at that moment

    ironically i had disgustedly sidestepped the same little boy just a month earlier, when he was crying CRYING! over a broken toy gun – crying was contemptible to me

    I put it together that it was the same boy but it was too late

    I chased that little boy around everywhere, didn’t like anyone else as much till i was like, 12, when he started liking me again

    only think i healed that recently


    my attraction is strong for “cool-smooth” “powerful men”

    and has been – i think i saw the golden hair boy as “cool-smooth”


    i feel a sense of comfort yet, turned off sexually with men who make me feel friendly, and like they look up to me – like my first best friend, and – repeat – my first boyfriend in highschool

    I am NOT sexually turned on by these men yet have a FEAR that I HAVE to be with them because they are nice

    these ‘types’ of men often fall deeply for me and ask me to marry them


    the aloof ones, tend to disappear like the running golden hair boy


    i have had a mix, ie a man who was *aloof* powerful, sexy and who was also stuck on me – kept coming back – pursuing me —

    but alas he was also acting abusive towards me – and i would cut it off everyyear, running away – i did not get to express my Alphaness with him, because i was terrified-hypnotized

    guywho was a different type i think than either, i felt both close to him, and that he was sexy and attractive

    this blew my mind

    i attached

    its possible that he was in the “best friend” type at first, then transfered to my “cool unavailable type” as I started falling for him


    i’d like to heal, date men i feel attracted to And feel safe


  93.  #93Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    @95: knocksoftly

    Thank you! 😀


  94.  #94Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    LiFe – yes my computer is still down. can post here on phone until thread gets too long.

  95.  #95jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    I love alpha – men can still out alpha you, you know?

    And….re: dissing Rori, check out Amazon – I opened a thread under her book about how great she is and someone’s come along and said she is a scam artist and steals ideas from all over the internet….

    I’d really like it if you ALL would go post there! that that’s sooooo not true –

    Amazon would be a great boost to Rori and that just annoys me, but It will look better if it’s not me doing the defending since I started the thread!


  96.  #96Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    Just wanted to share this so you see what is being said about EMK and some summaries from the Summit

    Dear Soulmate Seekers,

    Phew! It’s getting hot in here… we can feel the collective power of our magnetic love field getting activated!

    Thanks to Katherine Woodward Thomas for sharing the acclaimed “Calling in ‘The One'” 7-step process to becoming magnetic to love.

    Katherine really held us by the hand and walked us through the process of identifying and releasing our hidden barriers to love: old agreements, toxic ties, the incompletions of the past, old resentments and core beliefs. She then guided us through the process of becoming magnetic to love by cultivating a clear and powerful vision.

    And what can we say about Evan Marc Katz – he’s a SUPERSTAR in the making- we’ve received amazing feedback from all corners of the globe about his no-nonsense “tell it like it is” style during his Seminar. One of his biggest insights was on how you can avoid the deadly “Chemistry Trap” so you don’t miss out on “The One.”

    Dear Soulmate Seekers,

    I woke up this morning wondering how my life would have been different if I had been able to attend this Soulmate Summit 20 years ago when I was making some of my most horrific relationship mistakes. I thought about how much agony and how many tears I would have saved myself if I knew then what I know now.

    One of the major turning points for me was studying with Dr. Pat Allen and learning her strategies for knowing when and how to shift my masculine and feminine energies.

    I discovered that my practical, assertive, and results-oriented approach to both work and play meant that I was living almost exclusively in my masculine side while my receptive, creative and soft feminine energies had been locked away, hiding out in a corner of my heart I had yet to access.

    Dr. Pat teaches that both men and women possess both masculine and feminine energies and that it is totally appropriate for a woman to tap into her masculine side while working. However, if she wants to be with a masculine man, she needs to learn how to access her feminine energy because it’s the polarity between the two that generates harmony and desire.

    I’m so excited that today you have the opportunity to learn from one of the best!

    If you haven’t already listened to the Day 8 seminars with Christian Carter and Lori Gottlieb you can do so now by visiting the Daily Events Access Page.

    On today’s roster we’re also thrilled to present Reverend Michael Beckwith and Rickie Byars Beckwith — soulmates who live, work, and travel the globe together teaching and singing their deep spirituality. They model the very essence of “spiritual partnership” and sharing important messages you won’t want to miss.

    Our Ultimate Soulmate Summit Day 9 presentations with Dr. Pat Allen and Reverand Michael Beckwith and Rickie Byars Beckwith will be LIVE at 12pm Pacific TODAY. To access today’s events, simply visit the Daily Events Access Page by clicking on this link here.

    Please note: today’s programs are available ONLINE for 24 hours – from 12pm Pacific today through 12PM Pacific tomorrow.
    To find your local time use the Time Zone Converter.

    **Remember** You’ll be receiving these short reminder emails every day for the next 2 days while the Summit is going on with updates and details of each day’s programs.

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    In today’s Soulmate Seminars our experts will answer will share life-changing information that will accelerate your process of attracting love.

    Here’s an Overview of Today’s Ultimate Soulmate Summit Programs:

    Soulmate Seminar 15 with Michael Beckwith & Rickie Byars Beckwith

    Spiritual Partnership: How to Attract Your Divine Other and Experience a Connection Deeper than Any You’ve Had Before

    Michael Beckwith is founder of the AGAPE International Spiritual Center. He is author of Spiritual Liberation. Rickie Byars-Beckwith is music and arts director at AGAPE and producer of six CDs, including Supreme Inspiration.

    In this important session, you’ll learn:

    * What the term “spiritual partnership” means and why getting clarity around this is essential to finding it for yourself.
    * To discover the differences between masculine and feminine and why they attract one another.
    * The 3 practices that will improve communication and help you and your partner authentically honor one another.
    * How to set your relationship up for ultimate success and create mutual goals for unending growth and connection.
    Soulmate Seminar 16 with Dr. Pat Allen

    Getting to “I Do” with Your Soulmate: How to Navigate the Process of Attracting and Creating a Lasting Bond with the Right Person

    Dr. Pat Allen is a licensed Marriage, Family, Child Counselor and the author of Getting to “I Do.”

    You’ll discover how to get to “I Do” when you learn:

    * The secret to Dr. Pat’s 8 week oxytocin detox program: why you can’t begin a new relationship on top of a broken heart.
    * The five second flirt techniques that will work for even the most shy soulmate seeker.
    * The four types of communication that will tank a potential soulmate connection and how to avoid making these mistakes.
    * Understanding the difference between great sex and great love and why this is critical to getting to “I do” with your soulmate.
    * The biggest mistake singles make in determining whether a potential partner is “The One” soulmate, and why you might meet your soulmate and not realize it right away.
    Today’s Inspiring Soulmate Couple Interview is with Rev. Cynthia James & Carl Studna

    Reverend Cynthia James is a lecturer, teacher, and internationally renowned performing artist. She teaches many classes that integrate traditional therapeutic techniques, music, creativity, and spiritual processes. She currently serves as an associate minister at Mile Hi Church, one of the largest new thought spiritual centers in the world.

    Carl Studna is a multifaceted portrait photographer whose three decades of commercial shooting covers the spectrum of musicians, authors, celebrities, corporate, advertising, and fine art. His intimate portraits of influential people are known worldwide and have graced publications ranging from Time Magazine to Rolling Stone.

    Remember, the calls are available for 24 hours and you can start to listen to the recording whenever you get to the Daily Events Access Page, so everyone doesn’t have to go at 12PM Pacific exactly!

    Thanks for all the support and all the kind words about how much you’re getting out of the Summit.

    We can’t wait to see what opens up for you today!

    Please share your breakthroughs, insights and questions with our Facebook Community here.

    With love,

  97.  #97jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Knocksoftly – did you check out Kaleah? It’s beyond cutting cords – soul retrieval….if you don’t resonate with her, I’d still goggle it.

    And, I did my first “love offering” based healing session for someone yesterday – I actually have a ritual for cutting cords.

    It is very powerful!


  98.  #98Daria on February 23, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    lean back works because being masculine and powerful and raising testosterone is only one way to be attractive

    the other – not usually studied as far as i’ve seen – feminine way, is to lean back, open up, expanding, open palms – this raises oxytocin and puts us in a relaxed, flowy, dreamy state

  99.  #99jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Love it, Daria…thanks! you’re analytical mind always impresses me! I like lean back because they have to lean forward and yell for you to hear them at the restaurant and it’s just plain more comfortable….lol…
    feelin’ light hearted today!

  100.  #100Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Jilly: I can forward a few now and the rest later.
    What’s your email?

  101.  #101Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    @81: Laughing Goddess says:
    “…I would love to see Rori get support there…”

    Do you think she wants it? Maybe she’d be embarassed by it. I’m thinking she would be so I’m voting for EMK.


  102.  #102Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    86: Daria says:

    I think that, even if a lot of us haven’t voted, the sheer number of comments everyday show that Rori’s blog is Amazing!

    Wednesday, 23 February 2011 @ 12:43pm

    Yes. I have to say though, I felt really sad seeing that Rori has 0% of the votes. It is an honor that she placed in the top 5 and the voting is happening for a while longer.

    I guess ultimately it doesn’t matter what one little poll says. But I do feel sad that she isn’t getting the votes I think she deserves.

    I love Rori and I want her to get the recognition she deserves.

    It’s just a silly poll though. It really doesn’t in any way reflect her true value.

    This is an interesting reflection of my own need for recognition. 🙂

  103.  #103Daria on February 23, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    Thanks Jaqueline – what can i say, my masculine side has been a forte! hehe 🙂

  104.  #104Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Realized today that with both men I was attracted to, the reason it didn’t work out was bc of our lifestyles not matching (TN man – sex, WH – drinking). I feel sad today bc TN just asked me again about a 3some… he hasn’t mentioned it in awhile and it felt better being friends w/o that bit. I sent him an authentic FM response. I wish I felt good about doing it, bc on one level it would be fun – not just the sex, but the friendship part too – but I know I would feel bad afterwards.

  105.  #105Daria on February 23, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    I guess i am not so triggered by Rori not getting votes and stuff because

    I think this stuff being like a secret spring, magical, like

    liek so amazing that it is wayyyyy beyond polling

    its like MAGIC!

    and also like the unrecognized, unlicensed, just-beingness

    is very worthy and attractive to me

    its like having a place in teh woods with lots of springs, and in one a spirit lives

    but its not about which spring has the biggest waterflow…

    its the UNSEEN

    i guess i find value in being Unseen…

    and just felt, sensed, when someone is ready

    that’s how i’ve experiened the magic of this work

    finding the gems by learning to see

    even if someone had shoved them in my face i wouldn’t be able to see them until i was ready

  106.  #106Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    lol, Daria…the world is your forte, I think!

    Amazon matters! even Rori wrote me thanking me for noticing it – yall, here’s the link:

    and the reviews are awful even – here’s what someone says:

    I have found some of her affiliate blogs on the internet and she is copying and pasting my blog detail into it so she can get more hits to her website.
    Tried to contact her and her Christian Carter cohort and they refuse to remove copyrighted material.
    When we kept asking through email, they chose to block us.
    Bad business, bad karma. Don’t buy this book, she probably stole it from someone else.


  107.  #107Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    KnockSoftly: I’m glad to see you are finding info about crod cutting.

    Please keep us posted on your experience with it.

    I just saw that you asked me about it on the other thread. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I’m glad you found some information though. I really don’t know much about it other than what I posted to Eternity of the other thread.

    I feel excited to hear about your experiences.

    I truly believe it helps!


  108.  #108Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    Anyway, I’d love help discovering the msg/meaning/lesson in the realization that my only two attractions were lifestyle mismatches. Coincidence or not? And both were that the guy is more…. what? self-indulgent?

  109.  #109Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    and here’s the discussion I started about the tools – with the dissing, too!

    I hope we all repay Rori’s kindness by voting on Amazon! too

  110.  #110Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    113 Lucy have you done any self-reflection on that? I don’t believe in coincidence anymore, but that is me. I had attracted unavailable.

  111.  #111Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    @100: jacqueline

    URL link?


  112.  #112Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    knock – she has a download, I’ll be reviewing it – it’s only like $19.00…anyway, just in general the soul retrieval is the next step up from the cutting cords, and I bet you can find some free meditation stuff on it…

    write me if you want the ritual I’m using!


  113.  #113Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Crod cutting!?!? Hahahha! Sounds kinky.

  114.  #114Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    SLV – 111 & 115

    Lucy! So glad to see you, I’ve missed you and hoped you were feeling groovy!!

    hearts everyone – off for now….

    spring is springing here!

  115.  #115Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:20 pm


    “…* The secret to Dr. Pat’s 8 week oxytocin detox program: why you can’t begin a new relationship on top of a broken heart…”

    This sure sounds worthwhile. Thanks.


  116.  #116Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Lucy, that’s something I’d noticed too but didn’t and don’t want to trigger you about

    I think it’s projection – your perfect life vs. your “reality” life….and I so support you in finding a way to blend the two to create more joy…

    bringing your artistic, romantic, great guy life into your actual life – it’s why the pull is so strong?

    anyway, I’m all for your happiness and hope you get to have it ALL!


  117.  #117Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    KS – I think the soul retrieval is around $20 – look for a products page and email me and I’ll send you a copy of what I did for the woman in an abusive relationship yesterday!


  118.  #118Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    daria, i loved the magical, captivated feeling i got reading your golden haired boy post.

  119.  #119Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    RE 122 I sense the same thing

  120.  #120Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    KS: I have to leave now. I forwarded you a bunch of the recordings and can do more later.

    I’m excited. It sounds like Jaqueline has some experience with this cord cutting thing and is willing to guide you through it.

    Let us know how it goes please!

  121.  #121Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    @111: Jacqueline says:
    “…I have found some of her affiliate blogs on the internet and she is copying and pasting my blog detail into it so she can get more hits to her website.
    Tried to contact her and her Christian Carter cohort and they refuse to remove copyrighted material…”

    Thanks, I’ll take a look but have list of stuff to get through. I don’t know what to say. I am sensitive to this kind of grey hat because it feels really bad to be on the receiving end, like you can’t stop throwing up when someboy rips and puts up your content.

    I’m keeping my head down now because of the Soul Summit. Ordinarily I’d just quietly do my thing for personal use but my Internet access abruptly changed. However, things get kind of grey hat with passing things around “extra-legal.”


  122.  #122Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    LG…thanks!!! my email is

    LonePlum emailed me them last night but i’m not able to open them 🙁

  123.  #123Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    @120: Jacqueline

    Feeling groovy… 😛 I saw post about your body work success. That’s exciting!!! And inspiring.


  124.  #124Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Shoot…LG…hopefully i didn’t miss you…but..hopefully you can when u get back.. 🙂

    Daria…loved 103!! lean back is another way…

  125.  #125Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Watching Oprah. Iyanla Vanzant says she has a “new normal.”


  126.  #126Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    I haven’t watch “Oprah” show in over a year. Oprah looks kind of chubby. Iyanla lost her fortune.

    Living small and simpler is easier I think.


  127.  #127jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    SLV – I didn’t say that….some person who hates Rori did…

    and Daria, I get you and that was lovely, but in the world of business we all want Rori to succeed don’t we?

    And Amazon is a huge market share.

    So I hope we post of the value we get here every day!

    See you all soon!

  128.  #128Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    thx J. yes that is true. i would love to hear more. i don’t want TN man’s lifestyle at all – I DO want a sexy sensual man but he takes it too far for my liking. and that’s why i no longer want him for a romantic partner. WH I don’t know about – I don’t mind the drinking and still feel open to something with him – but maybe HE knows he really does drink too much for me to be happy with him in the long run. I’m not sure where to go from here. Open to ideas.

  129.  #129femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    yup,day 6 and still going strong…i’m being an anchor am i?well…..sometimes i feel like a like a bl88dy anchor!
    so i just finished watching the game and his team scored last minute!i picked up my phone and wrote a message…and saved it in the drafts folder….guess thats my way of dealing 🙂
    he need to call me already 🙂
    its strange,i want him to call so badly but in no way will i make a move to communicate…..i’m so strong inside…i’m proud of myself.
    so now which colour for my toes……..i miss him a whole lot BUT i know how good it feels when its good between us and thats wha ti want back.he was so in his masculine energy when this began,calling me everyday at 8pm…so i know its in him….so…the leaning back continues….
    anchors away!!!!

  130.  #130Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Erm uh, oops 😳 as usual…

    …haven’t watched Oprah

  131.  #131tinque on February 23, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    SLV – I loved that book, read it three months or so ago. I would love to give you some titles, but I packed the books I have here already (moving again in two weeks), and the rest are still in LA.

    So once I’m settled in the new place, I will go through what I have and let you know what I liked.


  132.  #132Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    @134: jacqueline says:
    “…SLV – I didn’t say that….some person who hates Rori did…”

    No, I didn’t think you did!!! I was just noting there is an issue there that triggers me. I’ll check it out; right now I’m kind of hampered.

    No, no, no, no I did not think that was your quote.

    Hugs, girlfriend.


  133.  #133Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    SLV…what do you mean keeping your head down because of the soul summit?? does it feel bad to you?

  134.  #134Prairie Girl on February 23, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    #46 FW… That’s really good you are right… I’m gonna start working on the “all that”…
    I didn’t let on that HE was the reason I was sad… I knew/know who/what he is… I told him that I’m tired of dating…tired of all the crap that goes w/it… telling my story/describing myself to one more person… The truth..

    I won’t back down… I still don’t know that he is not inadequate…unavailable emotionally… toxic… I mean we’re just in imaginary land w/out even having met in person…

    He asked if I was open to “coming to him if that’s what I felt God wanted” I said “to visit?” he said “no, to live.. would you be open to marrying me and moving here”.. I said “yeah if I felt sure that was the right thing”… I’d said earlier that I thought I was pretty dang open to God.. that for 20 yrs I said I’d never live in Oklahoma and when it felt right this past summer I started the wheels in motion.. and everything… I mean EVERYTHING fell into place… like solid ground appearing beneath your feet when you stepped into thin air… Still… it would have to be the voice of GOD to get me to move again…lol

    FW I want you to know how much I appreciate the time and wisdom you share so generously here… I hope you are blessed in return..shaken down, pressed together, and running over..

    Angels on your body.

  135.  #135Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    @138: tinque

    Oooh, goodie. New books!


  136.  #136Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    @140: Jilly says:
    “… does it feel bad to you?..”

    I was referring to the copyright issues. Let it go.


  137.  #137Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    yay femenergylove! i love it…i do that too…i’ll write a text and keep in my drafts…”for later” and I feel better writing it and I feel better not actually sending it..especially later when he does contact me 🙂

    so…yep…keep anchoring 😉

  138.  #138Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:50 pm


    I meant “I let it go.” 😀


  139.  #139Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Iyanla Vanzant lost so much and she says she didn’t understand intellectual property rights. This happens a lot and many Internet users operate on myths…right now I can’t talk, can it? LOL


  140.  #140Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    ooh…good! cause i started feeling really bad…like…i didn’t mean anything by it…just was curious 🙁 man..i must have made SLV really mad…fine…i don’t want them either then…

  141.  #141Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    @135: Lucy says:
    “…Open to ideas…”

    Time for a new one. Start “checking the traps?”


  142.  #142Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    @147: Jilly says:
    “…i don’t want them either then…”

    No, Jilly get them. I think they are helpful. As a friend of mine says… “if a person just happened to see some stray links laying around and clicked on a few and downloaded and tucked things away for personal use, and then …. walked away quickly whistling to him/herself…. LOL

    walking away quickly, whistling to myself…

  143.  #143Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    FW, I loved that carol allen article! thank you! wow. the short-term soulmate thing really resonates! that’s how TN man and I both felt during our glory days… and we both really even knew at the time that it was “for a season.” Also, I heard thru the grapevine that WH still sees our short time together as “wonderful” and “memorable.” that feels good. maybe he will be back like carol’s man? i have been getting from several different places the message/feeling that for me the time just isn’t right…

  144.  #144Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    …the timing/patience idea is showing up everywhere for me lately…seems God is trying to tell me that. Okay I will believe it God. thank you. <3

  145.  #145Daria on February 23, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    well Jaqueline i noticed you seem to want Rori to succeed in business…

    and comment sometimes on what you think will help in that regard

    I personally dont see Rori so much business minded as sharing her gifts – and wanting to be available and be able to help more people

    so yes i think business success would help her that way

    and if she’s interested in business success i do support her

    but personally i don’t look at it that way

  146.  #146T-Girl on February 23, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    Can someone post the “I’m All That Newsletter”? I would love to read it but realized that I haven’t gotten a newsletter since 2/10 🙁

    I went ahead and resigned up so hopefully I should start receiving them again.

  147.  #147Lakshmi on February 23, 2011 at 2:27 pm


    Thanks so much for the MP3s! Also, for those of you who can’t click on them (I couldn’t either), you can copy and paste them into your browser and then they work.


  148.  #148Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    slv, i love your personality. no keepers in the traps. former cd came sunday to fix my pc – we thot he fixed it but turns out he didn’t. he adores me tho so that felt sweet. now TN is trying to help me fix it from afar and that feels nice too. it feels great having men who want to give to me. haven’t found my match tho.

  149.  #149Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    SLV: I’m feeling weird about the copyright issue too.

    My reasoning for feeling okay receiving them is

    – No money is being exchanged. Noone is profiting off these people.
    – This is the modern day equivalent of a bunch of friends getting together and listening and discussing.

    At the same time, I want for people to profit off their work. I see these mp3’s as introductions. I spend lots and lots of money on this kind of information and I imagine I will feel inspired to buy these people’s work after hearing their talks.

  150.  #150Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    daria, i just read 110 about the secret place in the woods – that is Exactly how i feel about it too! yes.

  151.  #151Jilly on February 23, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    i feel better about one is paying for them…and I have spent soooo much money on relationship/self help stuff too…

  152.  #152Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    hmm. maybe i feel attracted to the Freedom in their self-indulgent lifestyles. I was free like that before i got married and had kids. in fact, a couple yrs ago my mom told me she had worried that i wouldn’t be faithful in my marriage! thx a lot mom. I feel the responsibility to be a good example for my kids. TN doesn’t have kids. WH does, but they are getting dui’s… I feel protective of my kids. He loves his kids too but doesn’t his drinking correlate with their dui’s? i guess i want freedom but feel bou

  153.  #153Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    bound by responsibility. hmm. i invite both parts of me to work together to get me what i want and need! (thx for that daria. anything to add?)

  154.  #154Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    Daria – I agree with your thoughts for yourself and Rori’s work; but what if Rori wants to succeed at Amazon and we don’t support her there? (she did thank me for noticing it so I’d say she does somewhat anyway….)

    Then being here without supporting her as she supports us…. almost feels like taking advantage of her to me. I agree she is all about allowing tho.

    I am still dissapointed no one is going to go and add their voice and allow the she’s a rip off to stand.

    And sad….

  155.  #155Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Re: copywrite – I doubt I ever even listen to them, but I think most times if something is for personal use only it’s not such a big deal. Not like we’re sending them on….I hope. smile….

    but I wondered too…and thank you SLV for being the one to bring it up and out!

  156.  #156Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    @156: Laughing Goddess says:

    “- No money is being exchanged. Noone is profiting off these people.
    At the same time, I want for people to profit off their work. ..”

    The price is $97 U.S. Everyone has his own way of thinking about it. I take “vampire” ethics; If you invite me in I will scan your server if it’s not secured but take only what’s offered and use only for personal use and not distribute a “for sale” product. Grey, I know. Many gurus have unknowingly contributed to my education.

    I’m doing a “suspend” on this one. The issue came up for me because I lost my usual Internet connection and probably won’t be getting it back. I would have gotten more quietly on my own and of course never distributing but i was distracted by recent illness and the thought never crossed my mind until we were already up to EMK.

    It is a trigger for me and ironically I sometimes post on this and similar issues, often while knocking my head against the wall. I think I’m a mostly good semi-geeky grandmother sporting the occasional grey feather in my hat. I’ll sometimes buy additional rights on products so I can legally pass them along in the future.

    When this happens I usually later buy a product from the “contributor.” But gosh there are so many of them! I had to “suspend.” People began openly asking for podcasts. Oh, well. I hope it’s over soon. Chicken, i know…

    Hands to heavens… “See, sweetie, look at what I went through for you…” 😀


  157.  #157Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    More ponderings about the summit mp3 exchange….

    The way I understand the situation is that these summits are marketing devices to get these people’s names out. I couldn’t listen to the recordings online for certain reasons. Their message is still getting out and I imagine I will buy something from at least one of them.

    One the other hand, I’m very careful about exchanging work that I paid for like Rori’s DVDs. After I listened to them, I let one friend borrow them. She didn’t have the money to buy them anyway and she really wanted the info. I would never make copies and pass them around freely.

    That’s my perspective.

    Your mileage may vary. 🙂

  158.  #158Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 3:07 pm


    Baby steps are all you need – continue taking them!

    Love and Abundance,

  159.  #159Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    To clarify, when I said noone was profiting, I meant noone who is exchanging them is profiting. Most likely, the people who’s work it is will profit from their names getting out there.

    I feel weird and uncomfortable with all this.

  160.  #160Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    @162: Jacqueline says:

    … Not like we’re sending them on….I hope. smile….

    [whispering] yeah, we *are* sending them on… 😆 The reason there is no online download link is because the podcasts are for sale. 😳

    still walking away, whistling to myself 😆

    I’ll be quiet now. Oh, how the semi-mighty have fallen. I’m in “suspension.” If my fans could see me now.

  161.  #161Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 3:11 pm


    Thank you! Happy that this post resonated with you. As you picked this part out: “The truth of love is found in self-acceptance” I wanted to share with you (and all the other Goddesses here) that there is a FREE MP3 Download at our site “Self Acceptance is the KEY to Feeling Loved” – its a great process to listen to again and again and cultivate love for self.

    Love and Abundance,

  162.  #162Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    LG – that’s a good point, weren’t they offered for free for days? and they are for marketing. Well said –

    lol, I just unsubscribed anyway tho cuz I’m overwhelmed with ’em….

    that’s a lot of work to catch a man – it can’t be that much work can it? smile…

    SLV, you shall be perfect and a catch for your sweetie for sure!

  163.  #163Jacqueline on February 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    ORNA! Just a shoutout if you’re around – it’s a fabulous article and just the other day I argued that if someone isn’t expressing something to me in a way that I can see it as love, it’s not….

    then you put it all into such great perspective.

    Thank you for sharing! and being here!


  164.  #164Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    I feel so annoyed by sarcasm.

    I want to be spoken to directly. I want to be spoken to respectfully. I want authentic relations with people. I don’t want to be judged and spoken to sarcastically.

    I want clear, authentic, vulnerable, direct, clear communication in my life.

    Thank you dear friend. I know that will be abundant in my life and I will laugh and play and revel in the joy that is my birthright.

    I will stay focused on this vision and let the rest go.

    Breathe in breathe out

  165.  #165Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm


    Drink up! 🙂

    I so love your description that I might print that out and read it every night.

    Love and Abundance,

  166.  #166femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    sometimes i read christian carter and i feel likehe is a toxic man 🙂
    ugh say what you want to say already!!

  167.  #167Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    @166: Laughing Goddess says:

    I understand how people reason about it and I have heard all the reasons. LG, i wouldn’t worry about it too much. I actually feel more comfortable just saying it and i will now.

    Ok, people… I swiped the Ultimate Soulmate podcasts. I’ll be swiping more tonight if I can find some random wifi with strong enough signal to dl at a decent rate. Whew, that feels better. I like the original mp3s. If they cut me off, OK. I hope I have not compromised Lone Plum.

    I need love. And i need to help my soulmates to find me. Did you hear that “sweetie(s)” wherever you are? 😆

    Don’t worry about it, LG. I only worry a little about karma and someone doing it to me…


  168.  #168femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Thanks 🙂
    i’m taking those baby steps…and breathing deep.

  169.  #169Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    I am abundant in my life. I feel good. Great things are happening. I want abundance for all. Spirit knows that. That’s all that really matters. No need to squabble.

    Ahhhh, seeing the irony. I spent $2000+ dollars on workshops with Allison Armstong. Yet now there is weirdness about receiving an mp3 that she offered for free. I tried to listen for free but my computer wouldn’t play the recording. So I got the recording from a friend.

    This is actually funny. I get the humor. Thank you universe.

  170.  #170femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    i need some Daria love on leaning back…….

  171.  #171Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 3:34 pm


    Did you think I was being sarcastic? I wasn’t trying to be. Digital dl and dupes, scraping, etc are a trigger and big issue for me and I had a personal need to just do my “little confesson.” It has nothing to do with you. As i mentioned to you, don’t worry about it. i told Jilly the same thing, go get them. I mean that. I have a fear of having someone rip me.

    I was not, being snide in any way talking about it. I wanted you to know. Gee, i hope it wasn’t me you were talking about it.


  172.  #172Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Haha! I imagining these people would be grateful that their marketing recordings are being shared. We are their target audience. They pay a lot to get their names out.

    I’ve never seen sharing on here of anything other than marketing that was offered for free.

  173.  #173Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    @173: femenrgylove says:
    “…sometimes i read christian carter and i feel likehe is a toxic man…”

    Well, he’s a guy and probably guy centered. I feel that way about some of EMK’s stuff too. I plan to hear what they say and if it calls to me, i’ll consider if it is useful to me.


  174.  #174Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    SLV: I was a little triggered by your comments because it is a reoccurring theme in my life that I am attracting. It’s something that I feel sensitive to even if it’s not directed at me. There’s probably sone misunderstanding on my part due to the limitations of electronic communication

    Just needed to riff it out. Nothing personal and hard feelings on my end. 🙂

  175.  #175Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm


    “…I tried to listen for free but my computer wouldn’t play the recording. So I got the recording from a friend…”

    Yeah, that’s what I ALWAYS do but I normally just get it from the producer. I don’t personally like that marketing model — well it’s not mine so nobody asked me. I prefer it when the podcasts, vids whatever are freely given with download links and pitches built in. Then cross sell something else. That’s gives more good feelings to me but…nobody asked me.

    Oh, well. Sweetie, sweetie, I need you… and you better be geeky too…


  176.  #176Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    Hi Jacqueline,

    Thanks for the LOVE! Happy to know you found the post enlightening.

    Matthew and I are overjoyed with the positive response and of course, very grateful for Rori for being so generous and supportive of us. <3

    Love and Abundance,

  177.  #177Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    Oh wow. Realizing my lifestyle and my spirit don’t match. Men on dating sites have said I have a gypsy vibe… And even before they said that, that’s exactly what I had felt from WH and TN – in my heart I called them gypsy souls. Even called WH “gypsy boy” once and he said he liked that. I have a gypsy soul but am living a white picket fence life. This may be why i have become the dumpee rather than the dumper as i was before marriage. what now???

  178.  #178Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    @181: Laughing Goddess

    Yes, the scrape issue is one I’ll have to address and come to terms with myself. I have friends who have produced products to give away as promotional items and have found people have received them and then in turn used them to promote their own products. This is not you at all, LG, just a real big trigger for me.

    People have become ill over this. This is an ongoing problem and as a result there has been entrenchment especially in some membership sites. I’m going to have to destress myself over this.

    This is an issue which might not come up for many people on the blog.


  179.  #179Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    I believe my large concerns are small and meaningless to other people; therefore I am all alone unless I ignore my own concerns and concentrate on those of other people so they will be happy.

    My worries are ………………….. ……. meaningless to any other person on the planet Earth, maybe any other beings in this solar system, maybe any other beings in the this galaxy, the Universe. Yes, they are pretty small. I must keep in mind how very smalll and unimportant I am. This life of mine.

  180.  #180Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    SLV: “Yeah, that’s what I ALWAYS do but I normally just get it from the producer. I don’t personally like that marketing model — well it’s not mine so nobody asked me. I prefer it when the podcasts, vids whatever are freely given with download links and pitches built in. Then cross sell something else. That’s gives more good feelings to me but…nobody asked me.”

    That style gives me a better feeling as well.

    I feel uncomfortable with the “you only have 24 hours thing”. I feel rushed and honestly, manipulated (even though I’m not sure that’s a feeling, but you know what I mean).

    It makes more sense to me that if they are going to put so much money into marketing, they would give us a little more time to access it.

    But, that’s just my preference.

    I always want to respect their choices and “learn to take no for an answer”.

  181.  #181Ella on February 23, 2011 at 4:15 pm


    Argghhh tight in stomach.

    Aching across neck/shoulders.

    Anxious, resistance.

    Not sure about this date on Friday.

    Not sure at all.

    Yukky yukky I feel yukky.

    Swirling ball of yukk in stomach STOMACH! STOMACH.

    Like tight ball.

    Wanting better.

    Don’t want to put no more effort, don’t want to have to tiptoe around people’s issues.

    Urghh, I know what I need to do.

  182.  #182Daria on February 23, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Femenrgylove – im here ! back from my walk and barefoot lay on the grass by the water

    i felt so angry (unclear why) and it DID Help!


    how can i help you lean back?

  183.  #183Laughing Goddess on February 23, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    SLV: I can see your point that ultimately it not up to me to assume that it’s ok to exchange their marketing material even if it’s been offered for free.

    I imagine if I was being 100% responsible, I could have written the folks and told them I was having trouble with the link.

    I do see your point with that.

    I guess I also like to trust my conscience. And I feel okay about the exchange that happened here.

    But I do see your point about the grey area.

  184.  #184femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    well i’ve succesfully leaned back for 6 days now,and i’ve had the ups and downs of it.but i want to fully believe he will grow some b@lls and call me.i want to fully feel that i am full of gold squishy sensual goodness that no man can resist including him!and you have said many many times that they always come back,i just want to quit thinking about it,or ‘hearing’ my phone while i’m in the shower etc
    by the way bare feet in the grass sounds lovely!
    its too cold for me yet to do that…….
    today i let my hair hang inits curly state….. i’m dont telling my hair what to do…i’m practicing feminine energy with my hair…i will let it take the lead.andi want this to seep into ALL areas of my life.
    I’m finally ready to be claimed.

  185.  #185femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    @189 Daria…..forgot to type that 🙂

  186.  #186Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    femenergylove – i feel the same Anxiety, sometimes

    today i asked my inner child what she wanted to do…

    she wanted to go by the grass

    i went, grumbling… my inner teenager was like, that’s stupid

    it took me a good 20 min to relax

    but it worked!

    i feel happy and fulfilled now and came back to lots of men IMing me

    it’s about learning new things to fulfill ourselves

    i am loving my anxiety – noticing my self-judgement and then sending compassion to the judging part (it just wants me to be happy) and the part that feels shamed by being judged (awww)

    and i feel a tiny shift in the moment

    i intend to do this over and over until it becomes automatic part of me yay!

    i look forward to healing my LONELINESS

    Orna and Matthew actually helped me with that yesterday:

    Matthew suggested self-validation (then i found a self-validation article from inner bonding i printed above)

    and Orna suggested inner child dates – so i did the grass thing

    yay its working!

    its all about ENERGY SHIFT

    the energy we have gets caught in anxiety… and we gotta shift it, usually nothing to do with what we THINK it has to do with, him calling, it’s just that we’re tunnel vision on that as the ONLY way to shift – it’s not

  187.  #187Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    on the other side of the coin, if i can download their recordings – then i can download their recordings –

    how is that really not allowed?

  188.  #188Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    i dont really want that question answered

    i just feel good with freesharing

    im the no money woman

  189.  #189Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    RE 150 Lucy I guess resigning to what is might be healing.

  190.  #190Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    T-Gril 11 Above is the All That Article

  191.  #191Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    @194: Daria says:
    “…on the other side of the coin, if i can download their recordings – then i can download their recordings –
    how is that really not allowed?…”

    It’s THEIR idea to have the podcasts be available free only for listening to on their site for limited amount of time. No download link is supplied and if you want a copy to keep it’s for sale.

    I would not do it that way…but it’s not mine to say.

    OK, so I admit, I just download it instead of streaming which doesn’t always work all that well on my computer now anyway.

    Looking for the lesson in this which is so far…don’t do it they way they are doing it.


  192.  #192femenrgylove on February 23, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    @ Daria
    hmmm,i have to learn to be more aware of the judging,the shame etc,to not avoid it all but to feel it and identify it.
    tomorrow i’m going tospend time with a friend and her dog…that is one inner child thing.
    Thanks Daria…for helpingme work on this.i really appreciate it.
    let me know what else little daria likes to do 🙂
    i just thought of swinging my feet th eway i used to when sitting in a chair and my feet did not reach the ground 🙂
    a freeing feeling 🙂

  193.  #193Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    Feeling frustrated with TN man saying “you will not feel left out, you will feel brought in – that’s the beauty of it.” uhuh, yeah sure. (sarcasm) He’s one of those “way with words” guys and i love that about him but not when i think he’s shoveling sh*t.

  194.  #194Lisi on February 23, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    So, I’ve been practicing the “all that” vibe. I walked past this guy at the elevator — made eye contact & held it, thinking, “I am the air you need to breathe.”

    As I walked around the corner, it was as if I felt his energy coming after me.

    Hmmm. Powerful.

    I’ve been thinking of trying that on M — then feeling guilty. I am afraid to turn on the Siren Vibe too strong, as I don’t think he’s Forever Guy.

    I feel guilt.

    I feel afraid to really use the tool in my one relationship.

    What if it works?

    What do I do then?


  195.  #195Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    SLV –

    to me, it’s just an assumption that they don’t want us to download and keep

    an assumption that … ‘makes sense’

    the way it ‘makes sense’ that a man doesn’t want to pay for an expensive dinner.

    but they do

    anyway to me, stuff is a lil more “woo woo” than just…

    you pay we profit

    i think its more like : Daria feels good -> everyone feels good

    and i subscribe to that from my DNA right down to the details irregardless of arguments

    I made a choice to live my life that way and so far it’s been a lot better than before

  196.  #196Lisi on February 23, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Lucy —

    And TN man wants you to to a threesome?

    Is that right?

    I have some insight, if you’d like to hear it.


  197.  #197Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    altho i am loving the parallel construction of his sentence. yum. yes i am one of those language-lovers too. former writing major til i switched colleges and they didn’t have that major. my dating profile includes “assonance” in my list of favorite things.

  198.  #198Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    yes lisi that’s right. there’s a lot of backstory but i feel curious about what you have to say. btw i can relate to how you feel about sirenizing non-forever guys… i did it a lot in the past year. it seems that i spoiled them for other women poor things. they seem destined to pine for me forever… kinda like WH gypsyboyizing Me.

  199.  #199Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    RE 141 PG I feel teary eyed reading what you wrote. Isn’t it amazing how things seem to fall into place when we share our heart? I do believe that guys are as frustrated as we are so when they see what they want they grab it.

    Thanks for the blessing, I am hopeful that I will have what I want.

  200.  #200Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    Orna thanks for the compliment, I really love the article.

  201.  #201Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm


    RE: #152 – Daria wrote, “I personally dont see Rori so much business minded as sharing her gifts – and wanting to be available and be able to help more people”

    Thank you for that, Rori! I deeply appreciate you!

    Hey, everyone, let’s make comments on the voting page, too!

    Love, Brenda

  202.  #202Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    Heyyyy… i just qualified for a focus group study I semi-fibbed my way into for $200 worth of green painted flat-wood pieces on monday

    i’ll have to miss DUI class, so that means $25 dollars less, but still


  203.  #203Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    attracting money even when i dont believe in it is easy

  204.  #204Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    that felt weird to write

    i feel a bit surprised lol

  205.  #205Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    Mama’s Daily Fluff:
    “There is nothing frivolous about what you want and desire.”

  206.  #206Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    Mama’s Daily Fluff:
    “Rely on the fact that something good, or something better than good, is headed your way at all times.”

  207.  #207Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    I looked at a beautiful house with my Mom today! It has 5 bedrooms and it’s perfect for our needs – wheelchair, dogs, cats – 2.5 acres! Now my next step is to either find housemates from church or foster children, if I decide to become a foster mother. We have until May 1 or June 1 to make a move. I feel excited!

  208.  #208Daria on February 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    Brenda – wow that is AWESOme

  209.  #209T-Girl on February 23, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    Mmmm, very excited… SexyOlderGuy is coming over to see me tonight….so excited…

  210.  #210Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    heard on radio, keith urban said “when you really like someone, you lean back cuz you’re afraid of getting hurt.” he actually said “lean back” hehe. does that mean he’s fem energy??

  211.  #211Eternity on February 23, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    I feel confused. Like I’ve missed the point of the original post. I’ve never felt more loved than in the time since the breakup. Love is all around me, my children, friends, family, my ex-h, online friends, down to the kindness of strangers I meet everyday.

    In fact I’ve never felt so bouyant and loved than by the supportive and kind words here. I’ve never believed a man can complete me. I can be happy alone and had been. I want someone to add to my life.

    In fact using the leaning back and no contact I’ve never felt as good and loving and taking care of myself as I have done in the last few weeks. I’m amazed at how fast I’ve bounced back using RR’s tools.

    I do miss the love of a partner which to me is different to how I feel the love of everyone else in my life. I’m still feeling confused. I want a loving committed partner as well as feeling the love which I already do from elsewhere in my life. hmm

  212.  #212elle emm on February 23, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    yay brenda!

  213.  #213Eternity on February 23, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    214 Brenda

    I feel so excited for you too!

  214.  #214Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    that’s exciting brenda! is the house any closer to me? 🙂 My inner child is eating a pop-tart.

  215.  #215Lisi on February 23, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    Lucy —

    Well, there was that one HOT night in college…

    The idea of two women at the same time is a really big deal for a lot of men. It’s a total male fantasy, and, in my opinion, it’s really all about them.

    I don’t like the feeling of being used — so, if a guy comes on strong about wanting threesomes — I generally back away. If I have sex with someone, I want it to be someone who cares about me and my emotions.

    That being said, I have done several threesomes. The first ones I did were with a couple and I was the “extra” female. I felt a little weird not wanting to get in the way of their vibe, because the guy was obviously very into me, and I didn’t want to make the woman mad or jealous.

    I was not looking for deep, lasting emotional commitment at the time, and the couple involved were a casual, uncommitted relationship.


    Fast forward — and I did a couple of threesomes with polyamory guy. The dynamic here was different, as he and I were the couple, and the other woman was the “extra” female.

    My relationship with polyamory guy was that I was just never very attracted to him, and never very into him. Hence, sharing him with another woman didn’t seem like such a big deal.

    The other woman was WAAAY more into me than I was into her, and that was a little weird.

    All in all — they were interesting experiences — but I am not sure how I’d feel about doing that with someone I really loved.

    B. was not at all into those things, so it never came up. Still, I don’t think I would have shared him. I was far more emotionally committed.

    I think the time for threesomes has really passed for me. They’re a fun experiment — but not a long-lasting loving relationship. Unless the three people decided to form a polyamorous triad. That’s a whole different thing though — and so edgy in our culture that I see it as not very feasible.

    That’s my take on it.


  216.  #216Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    Eternity – I hear ya! I said basically the same thing in my first comment on this thread. I feel the way you do. I think the article is for women who don’t yet feel tht way, who haven’t experienced love in the way we have.

  217.  #217Lisi on February 23, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    Lucy & Eternity —

    I felt like it has helped me some with letting go of B.

    I had such deep emotions for him, and I’m so sad that he’s gone.

    It’s good to remember that I can feel that way for someone else. That he’s not the source of love — I am.


  218.  #218Siena on February 23, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    hi Lucy, I’m lurking again… (back and forth haha).

    You received a lot of good feedback about TN man and WH and your attraction to them. I would add to check out how you feel when you’re around them. I would say that it’s the reason why you attracted them, because you feel good with them.

    I wouldn’t necessarily dive any deeper than that, and just be gentle with yourself as you follow the good feelings – it’s all a journey anyway!


  219.  #219Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 6:31 pm

    lisi, thx for sharing your experiences. it’s not the typical self-centered guy fantasy for him – it’s a much more spiritual dynamic, along the lines of what you wrote in the last paragraph. i know he loves me and cares for me – even tho we’re not a relationship-match – we ultimately want different things – and i love him too. If we lived closer and I didn’t have kids, we probably would be a “polyamorous triad” – or perhaps a quad (another male). But I’m living the white picket fence life instead. Feel torn.

  220.  #220Siena on February 23, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    yay Bren about the house, and yay Daria about the $ post!

    I sat next to a man on a plane yesterday who looks exactly like one of the men on my vision board. I mean, exactly! And he asked for my contact info… wehewww!!


  221.  #221Lisi on February 23, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Lucy —

    When there is a deep, spiritual connection all the way around, is when it’s really cool.

    I haven’t fully had that — but I’m intrigued by it.

    Like you, I’m living out in the sticks, working as a therapist with children, in conservative, small-town America.

    I feel torn, as well. It doesn’t seem possible to fully experience what interests me here, but I haven’t figured a way out of it, either….


  222.  #222Lisa on February 23, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    Is it girly to go dance in a bar alone? My friends don’t work the same schedule I do so I go out on Wed nights alone. I don’t mind, but now am thinking?….?

  223.  #223Luzydel on February 23, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    I can sense his distancing, ugh! Maybe I became too available and he is backing up. Every time he asked to meet I would say yes, so maybe now he feels he doesn’t have to work to get me. he just sent me a txt with a 🙂 symbol. I will not reply, I don’t feel like it.

    I wrote to some guys on the singles net web site and I am leaving POF alone for now.

    Gosh I feel so frustrated and sad and rejected and confused. He acts hot then cold. But I will not chase him, I am worth the effort.

  224.  #224Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    thx siena! yes i feel very very good with these two men. you really think that’s all i need to know about it? no deeper learning? i like your advice to be gentle with myself – feels good to read that. how are you? <3

  225.  #225Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Lucy & Eternity:

    This was written as a reminder for all of us that we can get stuck on the details – and that doesn’t serve us on our journey to love.

    As Lisi states above (thank you) its a reminder that we can have love again and again and again – that when it is within us we can create it outside of us.

    There can be numerous “reasons” as to why you have not manifested your ideal relationship. . . yet. Our subconscious dictates over 90% of our behavior including TO WHOM WE ARE ATTRACTED TO.

    Sometimes we move into the creation phase before we have completely let go of the past. This keeps us energetically tied to the past and can block us from receiving what we truly desire.

    I know without a doubt that its possible for you to have all that you want! If I can do it, anyone can. . . my life was not always this rosy. . . it took a lot of clearing away and peeling back and risk, and I’m thrilled that I only had to go through it once, but if I had to, I’d go through what I went through a thousand times to have the relationship that I now have with Matthew. He is everything I ever wanted and more. . . and I know you will one day say the same about your Beloved.

    Love and Abundance,

  226.  #226Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    lisi, wow, i feel so understood, so “gotten”! wow. i’m so glad you can relate to what i wrote. feels great!

  227.  #227T-Girl on February 23, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    Yay Brenda!

  228.  #228Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    T Girl did you see 11 above with the All That article

  229.  #229T-Girl on February 23, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    FW – Yes I did, thank you so much! I can’t wait to try it out!

  230.  #230Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    Thx Orna. One of my favorite quotes, which I live by: “Whenever you see love coming, open your heart and let it in – people will ask, ‘Are you in love?’ You will answer, ‘Love is in me.'” <3

  231.  #231Siena on February 23, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Hey Lucy, it’s just that dwelling on old stuff which is so often connected to the “why” things are like they are perpetuates more bad stuff. We bring about what we think about.

    So that’s why I’m saying that maybe it’s enough to take away that you felt good with them – just so there’s no undue focus on bad stuff.

    I’m not saying you are overly focused on it, btw…


  232.  #232Eternity on February 23, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Hi Orna

    Thank you for clarifying. I feel a greater understanding in the wider context. I will be working on clearing and manifesting and not get stuck on the details 🙂

  233.  #233Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 7:19 pm


    Divine! Oh, what a divine quote!! Do you know who said it originally?

    Wow! Thank you for sharing!! 🙂

    Love and Abundance,

  234.  #234Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 7:21 pm


    Thank you for opening up the conversation and for being open to receive. <3

    Love and Abundance,

  235.  #235Alonka on February 23, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    I was wondering today – how you can truly trust someone who once betrayed you? Won’t it be easier for them to do it again second time around? and then 3rd time? Will they ever forget that you are willing to overlook their betrayal? That you value your pain and disappointment lower than you value them? Isn’t it ridiculous even to consider accepting someone who once decided that they want to cross you out of their life?

  236.  #236Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    Orna, I’m glad you like it! I think it’s absolutely beautiful and profound, a wonderful way to live. I think the source is “unknown” – i will check my fb favorite quotes section to see if there’s a name. <3

  237.  #237Violet on February 23, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    I love the topic of this blog! These two paragraphs especially struck a chord within me:

    “The Truth of love is that love is your birthright. You were born perfect and whole. You simply have forgotten that Truth in the pain of experience, so you’ve been trying to become whole again through another person. You’ve been trying to feel complete through another person.

    The only person who can complete you is you. And the way to do that is to realize that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. The truth of love is found in self-acceptance. Shining the light of love on those dark places inside of us.”

    I’ve used self-deprecation in a humorous way, however, I can see where doing this might seriously undermine my confidence.

    I just keep applying the techniques I’ve learned.

    I already know that God loves me for who I am. It’s just a matter of looking at myself through His eyes.

    Thank you for reading this,

    ~ Violet ~

  238.  #238Daria on February 23, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    Lisa – I enjoy it and find myself feeling very vulnerable And attractive out alone… It took me a lot of courage to be able to do it… And I’m glad I did

  239.  #239Femininewoman on February 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Lisa Also if it is a new experience it rewires your brain. Dr. Paul recommends going to new places and such new things.

  240.  #240Simply Shannon on February 23, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    This post actually makes me feel angry. Or I feel angry reading it. Dorothea posted on her FB page one of the quotables…

    “The only person who can complete you is you. And the way to do that is to realize that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. The truth of love is found in self-acceptance.”

    My comment back on Dorothea’s page:

    “Call me Captain Cynical, but I’m noticing a trend… the people who write these kinds of statuses are typically in relationships.”

    Can I scream a big fat DUH here?

    I feel love for myself, more so now than I ever have in my entire life. I feel love from my family, friends, my children, even the little old couple who gave me and my kiddos a free Frosty at Wendy’s.

    But the fact is I don’t have the relationship I want right now. I have no idea where I’m blocked or what’s the problem.

    So shine the light on what? Up my… ahem, excuse me.

    Yeah I feel pissed. Just annoyed.

    I do not aspire to have a life made up of silly little inspirational quotes, and it feels annoying to sense that here.

    Does anyone know how to “love themselves” until they actually do it?

    And how many women do you know who are truly happy and loving life when they are not in a relationship?

    I’m just starting to get to that point. Where I don’t care if I’m in a relationship or not… for now. That will probably swing the other way in 3.33 days.

    Who knows. I feel irritated.

    Apologies Orna. I know most loved this post but it struck a very weird cord for me.

  241.  #241Luzydel on February 23, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    How could I tell someone that I am sensing some distancing and that I need to take care of me, that I want a man who can claim me without hesitation.

    That I am open to receive what he gives when he is ready to do so, but for now I need to get back to me.

    I want to say this in FM, without accusing him of course.

  242.  #242Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 7:39 pm


    I’m so happy to hear that this post resonated with you.

    “I already know that God loves me for who I am. It’s just a matter of looking at myself through His eyes.” – Yes, yes! 🙂

    And let’s face it – we all want to be loved for who we really are – which means we must give that love to ourselves first – only then can it be reflected back to us through the eyes of our Beloved.

    Love and Abundance,

  243.  #243Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Orna, it is “unknown.” And what i wrote here from memory is slightly different from the original on my fb page. 🙂

  244.  #244Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Simply Shannon,

    Oh, I hear you. I also congratulate you for being completely authentic! Your experience is your experience.

    So, here’s a thought. . . go deeper into that feeling of anger. . . what EXACTLY are you angry about?

    Our feelings are body sensation and its how our subconscious communicates with us. So what is your subconscious trying to tell you?

    Anger can often be the “Lid” on the pot – I don’t know you well enough to know if its simply anger. . . or if there is something underneath it.

    Discover exactly what about this post triggered you – about YOU – not about people in relationship, or me, or whatever else – What is that anger about inside of YOU?

    In a general sense I know that I have been where you are (emotionally). . . and I say that so that you understand that what you truly want is within your grasp, however, in order for you to HAVE it, there is a shift in perspective that must occur.

    If you’d like to discuss this further email me: and my assistant can schedule some time for us to talk with you.

    Love and Abundance,

  245.  #245Orna Walters on February 23, 2011 at 7:52 pm


    Thank you for checking. It is lovely and I will most likely post it all over cyberspace. 🙂

    Love and Abundance,

  246.  #246Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Shannon, the way I read the post it felt like what I have been wanting to say to women on here who have been complaining about how men do and don’t show their love – what they get for valentine’s etc etc. I feel very strongly about recognizing and receiving love from men IN THE WAY THEY GIVE IT, rather than expecting details in a certain way or else “it doesn’t feel like love waa waa waa!” That’s the point I thought Orna was gently making. TN man’s love is a prime example – many women wouldn’t be able to re

  247.  #247Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    recognize and receive the way he loves, but it is genuine love that fills my heart and soul. it’s different, but it’s real.

  248.  #248Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    Thank you all for your support and kind words! The house isn’t a done deal – it’s a perfect find, at this point. It is an undertaking bigger than myself! So that’s where trust is, because I know Someone who can do things that I can’t! Baby steps!

    I also applied to be a chaplain at a children’s hospital, and it would be a dream job for me, not a job at all, really! Again, it’s not a done deal. But I am thinking outside the box. And, thinking outside the box tends to create reality that’s outside the box!

    It all starts with thinking!

    Lucy, the house is 12 miles from one of your favorite cities, where we went together! And the hospital is a familiar place to you! 🙂

    My tactic here, with my life situation, is to creatively pursue my P.O.P.! All these things are still in the idea stage. I don’t know where I’ll actually end up. I’m just seeking my niche and thinking big!

    In the meantime, I feel really happy about being reunited in friendship with Ryan, and I feel inspired and joyful!

  249.  #249Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 8:16 pm


    I feel happy to see you here!

  250.  #250Daria on February 23, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    I am loving life without a relationship!

    Really, I am.

    the only thing missing right now is fulfilling sex!

    at least that’s what I think.

    I might derail myself

    I usually don’t want to really be in a relationship until I start to feel attracted to a man

    otherwise, I do’nt wake up thinking – gosh i wish i had a relationship

    if anything

    I wake up like, gosh i wish i had a buncha friends i could go be with right now!

    and then go out crusing and getting hit on by Lots of fine guys

    and have some awesome empowering feeling sex

  251.  #251Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    My 18 yr old son was crying tonight bc he feels so bad about life. 🙁 I feel so sad and angry that happiness is eluding him. I love him so much and want him to feel good hopeful and joyful. Please pray if you are a pray- er.

  252.  #252Daria on February 23, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    and I am angry

    I am angry that I haven’t been exercising or taking myself out to where there are guys!

    i feel very angry about this!

    and that i haven’t painted

    and you know what? I feel angry because i feel blamed for not doing these things too


    >:( **rargh** ):<

  253.  #253Siena on February 23, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    Brenda, ditto!! I love your “out of the box” thinking!! That’s what brings about success!! You go girl!!

  254.  #254Daria on February 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    what would feel good right now:

    it would feel good if Sexy CD calls and is like…

    im SO sorry i haven’t been calling you.. I started seeing my babymama again and I now am not…

    I know you’d feel uncomfortable maybe but i just want to see you – you can spend the night at my house – we don’t have to have sex

    me: i gotta be at sherrif’s work program in the morning

    him: i can take you, it doesn’t matter what time it is

    i’ll buy us some pot cuz i know you like smoking

    i’ll give you a massage too, a real one this time

    then he comes and i go with him

    we go to his house and play dominoes with him and 3 of his sexy friends

    I win, everyone is like wow where are you from, omgosh he is so lucky to have met you

    then around midnight they leave and

    he gives me a massage and we mess around and
    i feel so safe i decide to have sex

    it feels AMAZING and we keep having sex all night until about 4, when i sleep for 3 hours and then he wakes up in a couple hours and starts cooking breakfast for me,

    then we eat breakfast and he takes me to sherrif’s work program

    he tells me he will pick me up again after

    his room feels cool and comfortable, his mattress and pillow feel amazing

    he picks me up after, takes me home, we have sex again and he lets me sleep in

    he goes out, he comes back, we go out to eat somewhere fancy (ok im REally stretching it here for me WHEEEE)

    like a sushi place – he asks what i like i say sushi and he says he will take me somewhere

    i eat sushi, we go back to his house, smoke, have sex again

    I spend the night again, and we have sex all night

    in the morning/afternoon he cooks breakfast,

    we take a showe together and his shower feels AWESOME

    he gives me fresh clothes to change into,

    takes me to whole foods and buys me lots of groceries i want, pays my phone bill, and buys me a buspass – even though he “will take me anywhere i need to go”

    takes me to the library and pays my library fees…

    and drops me off at home

    tells me he can’t wait to see me again and that he’ll have a wonderful surprise when he does for me

    then he asks my jean size and shirt size and shoe size

    when i see him next in 2 days, he has a new outfit for me that I LOVE!!!

    and a necklace with diamonds

    he kisses me passionately and says mm i love how soft you are

    we ride out in his car, smoking, and im silent and feeling sexy

  255.  #255Daria on February 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm


    i feel so excited about this~! 🙂

  256.  #256Lisa on February 23, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    It just dawned on me in the shower what a great day I had cding. Very fun. It helps in case the cding I enjoy when dancing doesn’t happen. : )

  257.  #257Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    brenda, i feel thrilled!!! i want you to get that house and job!!! 12 miles which direction? hehe. WH is slightly west of that city, and my girlfriend is slightly NE. Maybe I’ll come live with you! 😀

  258.  #258Daria on February 23, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    reading this feels so GOOD!!

    thank you DARIA!!!

  259.  #259Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    daria, i love your thoughts there. I’ll have what she’s having. hehe. except switch out Sexy CD for WH, and pot for wine. yum.

  260.  #260Lisa on February 23, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    Daria and FeminineWoman – Thank you for your replies. I have done this often on Wed. nights at the same place. I have met a few younger guys there, but none have been permanent, either a couple dates or sex relationships. I fear I will see my current sex relationship guy there every week and don’t know how we would act seeing each other since we aren’t really in a committed relationship. So far have been lucky not to see him. I do miss him. Saw him on Valentine’s day and haven’t heard from him and doing my best not to text. So far I have done really great with letting him contact me and he usually does, not matter whether it is 8 days or 10. I just have a fear because this time he said he would contact me later in the week, which he never says that when he leaves and he hasn’t and that is freaking me out. I am enjoying the consistency of it, for what it is. I am going to go out and cd and enjoy to the best of my ability being a girly girl. I want to wear a pink top to feel girly.

  261.  #261Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 8:48 pm


    RE: #257 – You know what I keep thinking of when I think of you? How I would LOVE to see you be the star of the next, “The Bachelorette”! 🙂

    What do you think? May I nominate you on their website? You would totally rock that show!!!!!!

  262.  #262Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 8:53 pm


    RE: #260 – Thank you! I was right in the middle of filling out the online application for the hospital chaplain position after emailing about seeing the house when T.D. Jakes came on and I heard one of THE best sermons I ever heard, “Woman, Thou Art Loosed!” It was total confirmation of my outside-the-box pursuits! I feel pumped!

  263.  #263Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 8:56 pm


    RE: #264 – Cool! Are you serious? That would be cool! You could have the master bedroom, too, which is huge, with its own bathroom with a jacuzzi bathtub AND shower! 🙂 It’s 12 miles north of there.

  264.  #264Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 8:58 pm


    I ditto Lucy…I’ll have what you’re having, except with Ryan! I want to lick his lollipop! LOL!

  265.  #265Deb on February 23, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    Wow – this post was so timely for me… thank you.

    I’m fighting hard not to beat myself up. NO!!! I’ve come too far to sink back down into the self-deprecating abyss >:(

    I guess I decided to trigger myself big-time… even though I kept checking in with myself and asking ‘what do I feel?’ I wasn’t getting a clear answer and its just so EASY to slip back into familiar habits.

    Since moving to a new city I hadn’t had any one-night stands. At first, I avoided men altogether because I was that scared of the sexually-addicted person inside me. Of course that strategy pushed all types of love away from me. Now a couple of nights before I leave for a few months of research travelling, there I go.

    Now that I have Rori’s tools, I became a circular-dating rock star! BUT, it was like I forgot everything around a new alpha male 🙁 and even worse, he is one of my dance instructors 🙁 …hmmm, maybe I’ll call him Mr. Blues.

    I did so good at first! He had tons of women constantly around him, but because I did not pursue, expressed myself, and flirted, he was giving me lots of attention – drinks, dances, following me around, etc. However, there were plenty of red flags: everything was in public/group situations, he was not asking for my # or asking me out.

    Anyway, I don’t feel like going into the details anymore. I’m pissed because even if the sexual release was what I needed (it was not actual intercourse – but not far from it) I totally chose the wrong dude – I was just getting to make lots of new friends in this circle and now I’m afraid that I’ve lowered my status or that I’ll get a reputation.

    Arg!!! I could’ve had him eating out of my hand like all of the other CDs if I just stuck to my boundaries! I feel so embarrassed! I’m disgusted with myself. Why did I stay the night? Why didn’t I just leave?

    It started out so romantic too, someone even took our picture when they saw us kissing outside infront of this cool lit-up house (during a celebration) and then got my email so he could send it to us. So I fwd the pics to Blues when I got them, including a couple of breezy lines, but no word back in days.

    I am scared that he knows *so many* people, including someone I am really interested in.

    Ack!! Where was my intuition? Why was the voice so silent when I asked? How can I flip this??

  266.  #266Lisa on February 23, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    If I were to see him out, I want to be vulnerable and attractive, feminine and he won’t be able to resist me. Since we have a sexual rel. I fear he will see me out and think “slutty and easy”. It is not true. I will be awesome, fun, cding and enjoying myself.

  267.  #267Daria on February 23, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Brenda – only if it’s hip hop style and all the men are like rappers or something

    Daria’s WRap

  268.  #268Boomer on February 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Back from NYC biz trip. My house smells like cat pee and my littlest one is sick 🙁 MY poor Schmoopie!

    When my plane landed tonight, I wanted to reach for my phone and call someone to say, “”I’m back!” But there is no one.

    That feels so lonely.

  269.  #269Daria on February 23, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    Boomer – that sux! but we’re here!

    LOVE YA!

  270.  #270Lisa on February 23, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    Boomer – I have felt that many times. Coming home from work, going out of town, coming home…I have really good girlfriends who are my soulmates. I like the line from Sex and The City but don’t know if it applies to being girly, but it is “I have my soulmates tied in my girlfriends and guys are just people to have fun with”. I like that.

  271.  #271Daria on February 23, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Lisa – i feel jealous! i don’t have any fuchkin girlfriends like that… I think a girlfriend would certainly count

    hello note to universe: Daria wants Good gfs

    not drainy ones that i’d rather not be friends with and despise but wind up being friends with them anyways and now feel stuck


    i must be a terrible friend right now to not have good friends

  272.  #272Deb on February 23, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    Well at least I noticed that I didn’t get the “hookup high” that I used to get. That’s good to know. I used to feel like a million bucks during or up to a few days later – then crash.

    Instead, I felt more even-keeled, like I was observing myself.

    It was actually interesting how I noticed how I was turned off by the lack of emotional connection. Like now that I’m experiencing how good it feels to be treated right and have someone really interested in me as a person and my well-being, and that I don’t need sex to get that, sex doesn’t have the same drug-like pull on me.

    Leaving town will make it easier to re-group. I got from him the message I needed.

    Poor guy, no I won’t be choosing him. I’ll have to explain to him next time when I get back that I feel awkward and would just like to have a cordial professional relationship.

    I have so much respect for myself. I am a rock-star Siren goddess and I can do whatever my soul desires whenever I want.

    I have no expectations for particular actions or responses – although I welcome the ones I want into my life. I do what I do for my own joy & pleasure.

    Maybe I am confirming my new path? One inconsistent event does not negate all my hard work and it will never negate the truth of my beautiful and valuable identity.

  273.  #273Lisa on February 23, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    Daria – I met these friends in great places and we have been friends for a long time. I hope you too can find those kind of friends.

    Deb – I am wondering too about the hook-up high. I like my current sex rel. but I do feel weird in between when I don’t hear from him til our next “get together”. It is consistent and I have been enjoying it, but the emotions are kicking in or have been and I need relief. Ugh.

  274.  #274Daria on February 23, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    i feel sad

    i love my sadness

    and that feels like

    a lil catch in my heart

    and i love the catch in my heart

    and that feels like

    droopy cheeks

    i love my droopy cheeks and that feels like

    tingly upper side teeth

    i love my tingly upper side teeth

    and that feels like

    dropping shoulders and remembering my (not exactly pleasant dream)

    i love my dropping shoulders and my remembering

    and that feels like


    i love my sigh

    and that feels like

    closing my eyes and frowning

    i love my closed eyes and frowning

    and that feels like

    open eyes and frowning

    i love my open eyes and frowning

    and that feels like

    a big breath

    i love my big breath

    and that feels like

    pinching above my right elbow

    i love the pinching above my right elbow

    and that feels like


    i love my anger

    and taht feels like

    tilting head to the right

    i love my tilting my head to the right

    and taht feels like

    catch at my heart and almost tears

    i love the catch at my heart and almost tears

    and that feels like

    small sobs

    i love my small sobs

    andt hat feels like

    pulling on top of my eyes

    i love the pulling on top of my eyes

    and that feels like
    sob and smlie

    i love my sob and smile

    and that feels like


    i love my sigh

    and that feels like


    i love my pout and that feels like

    anger in my heart

    i love the anger in my heart and that feels like

    MORE anger in my heart

    i love the more anger and that feels like

    breath in and out

    i love my breath in and out and that feels like

    another breath in and out

    i love my breath in and out and that feels like

    smile and sadness

    i love my smile and sadness

    and that feels like


    i love my sobbing

    and that feels like

    tightness above my eyes

    i love the tightness above my eyes and that feels like

    pinching on my right cheek

    i love the pinching on my right cheek and that feels like

    half yawn

    i love my half yawn and that feels like

    pressure on my teeth i love the pressure on my teeth and that feels like

    squeezing on my lower right leg

    i love the squeezing on my lower right leg and that feels like

    yawn i love my yawn and that feel slike

    curiosity about this new im

  275.  #275Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    aw, Deb. Hugs. <3

  276.  #276Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 9:39 pm


    RE: #274 – LOL! You’re not taking me seriously, are you? And I thot you were working on healing that thing where you only dated a certain kind of man?

    I vote for Daria the Goddess of Love, Romance, and Feeling Messages as the next Bachelorette!!

    Who seconds the motion??

  277.  #277Pamelala on February 23, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Catching up from a busy day of work…looks like you all have had a busy and productive day!

    My enneathought for the day really fits how I am feeling re: CDing….vulnerable and not ready. This is what it said:

    “Self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only from having positive experiences, whether or not you believe that you are too vulnerable and are not ready to have them.” (Understanding the Enneagram, 337)

    Onward to my first date with PoetryMan tomorrow. He has been texting about once a day for the past 3 weeks. Looking forward to our lunchdate.

    Got a text from P saying, “Wanted to let you know I haven’t disappeared. Still here, trying to be a better dad and running into a snag with (oldest son) and my conscience. Would like to get together though.”

    Hmmm I think my “I’m All That” must be working.

  278.  #278Brenda on February 23, 2011 at 9:41 pm


    RE: #275 – Welcome home, to Siren Island! 🙂

    We missed you! How was your trip?

    Now you just need cell phones for your kitty kats! Then you can call them!

    How’s your bestie? Sorry to hear your kitty was sick.

  279.  #279Daria on February 23, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    Brenda – I’m already satisfied w that healing I want men that I find instantly attractive or else I don’t wana be on it… Yawn…

    Lol I give up!

    I don’t want to be on It unless it’s Daria Wraps

    And they all have to help me rap and get songs out

  280.  #280Daria on February 23, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    And we must be somewhere were we smoke pot

  281.  #281Pamelala on February 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    Note to self….take time before you respond. I think I made a rookie mistake. My response to P’s text.

    “It feels good to know you’re still around. Just let me know if you’d like to get something on the calendar. Praying for your snags.”

    His response: 🙂

    I think I should have said “Hey! Cool – would feel great to get something on the calendar.” and leave it at that.

    Ah well, live and learn…no big catastrophe. Guess I’ll just wait to see if he wants to jump on my free Sat. or if PoetryMan will be first in line. 😉

    Hope y’all are having a good night….I’m headed to bed shortly.

  282.  #282Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    See right now I am experiencing one of those times that I feel lonely

    I have no clue what this is about!!!

    I’ve been self validating and even had an inner child date but I still feel pist

    I think it’s an ‘in the body’ thing,

    But a good laughing conversation, even on the phone, usually completely turns this around

    So how do I ‘Cure’ this or in other words… What the Fuchk???

  283.  #283Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    I would like to learn about this… Angels I open the door for your help… Will you help me?

    I feel seriously pist

    I want to eat chocolate, talk to men, or smoke pot

    I think I need a dopamine fix

    I think that’s what it is

    I need a workout probably…

    Dopamine fix

  284.  #284Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    I just efts that I’m getting a dopamine fix and I feel a but better

    I’m also thinking of leaning forward and texting the last number I have for sexy cd

    But that’s only worked temporarily in past

  285.  #285Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    Mm. This is kinda working

  286.  #286Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    I’m doing it I really think I am!

    I’m all smily now

  287.  #287Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:16 pm


  288.  #288Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    You know what… This must be someone elses energy… One of my CDs must be feeling this way wanting to connect w me but frustrated he can’t..,

    Probably that Haitian guy or Jamaican dude..,

  289.  #289Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    Ohhh I know who! It’s dman! He’s probably pist at his babymoma… I’d like to clear his energy out my aura please…


  290.  #290Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    All this masculine go do Grrr testostoreno energy I got… Hmm I can paint

    Watch when I paint what if I love it…

    I know it’s masc energy cuz it wants to do stuff like call guys – first time I see it this way!!!

    I thought It was loneliness and desperation but it’s extra testosterone I can burn off doing something.,.

    Or slowly simmer off relaxing doing Roris sensual meditation or something… Getting into girl mode..,

    Dumping it on men won’t serve me to reveal my soft feminine and allow men to get to me..,

    Yay thank u angels for the insights!! I’m getting it!

  291.  #291Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    Pat Allen said to take 30 to 60 min to turn girl… By getting a massage… Sounds lovely…

    Tho I get triggered listening to her like oh no I won’t get what I want cuz I wanna move to brazil…

    Well eff all that I will and I got tools!

  292.  #292Pamelala on February 23, 2011 at 10:37 pm


    I love this insight….excess of masculine energy that can be burned off. Brilliant.

    K…really going to bed. Sweet dreams!

  293.  #293Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    @242: Alonka says:
    “…I was wondering today – how you can truly trust someone who once betrayed you?…”

    IMHO, it depends upon what one means by betrayal. If a guy proposes marriage and then I find out he’s already married and living with his wife, that’s a person I’d avoid forever.

    If the guy was someone I was dating and he began to withdraw and even went away because he wasn’t ready to commit, I might consider him again if after a long period of time he returned and pursued me. So much depends upon the details. I might reconsider a man who temporarily hestitates; I would not consider a man who deceived me or mistreated me.


  294.  #294Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:39 pm


    But on the other hand, never say never. A man can heal….who knows…


  295.  #295Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    Also my sleeping pattern got thrown off and that dream haunted the back of my mind so now I’m getting my nightly surge of energy…

    I’d like healthy happy hormone… Right on!

  296.  #296Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    I feel the relief of feeling better… And a man is asking for my number…

  297.  #297Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Some random wifi showed up. I’m not asking how.. tee hee. I was listening to Pat Allen and whoops! there it was…

    I’m kinda sorta confused now. Maybe I’m a Beta, maybe I’m looking for a “wife.” Yikes!

    Am I yin or yang? I think I am both.

    Maybe I’ll go listen to another podcast.


  298.  #298love4ocean on February 23, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Beautiful and powerful! Thanks for sharing Orna and Matthew!

  299.  #299Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    I don’t have a man asking for my number. I was covered with hugs and kisses all day today but they were from a little guy grandson. I promise I will not tell a CD about him. 😆


  300.  #300Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    Slv that’s what pist me off too… Maybe I’m looking for a wife

    Rori suggested me – I think I was going for the opposite – maybe a man who’s supportive of me without being necessary ambitious himself… Maybe I would line that?

    Like that pic of the proud African queen and a kneeling man holding her from the side .. Wish I photographed it at getright man’s house but I will encounter it again plus I got it with me now

    And now I just rembeted avatar

    He’s the chief she’s the spiritual leader… I like that

  301.  #301Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    Slv I feel resistant to not talking about grandiose but I don’t have any so…

    Men don’t usually talk too much about their kids to me but it wasn’t really a turnoff if they did

  302.  #302Daria on February 23, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    Yah I had like 2 or 3 or 4 ask for it

    2 were old online phone contacts I haven’t met … One from 10years ago!

    One is a new online,

    And one is a guy in Nigeria so I’m like ok but not really I don’t want phone relationships

    I already got two phone sex men in Mississippi where I seem to be popular

  303.  #303Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    slv, daria, i am curious – what did she say it looks like to want a “wife”?

  304.  #304Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    @270: Brenda says:
    RE: #257 – You know what I keep thinking of when I think of you? How I would LOVE to see you be the star of the next, “The Bachelorette”! …”

    Not a bad idea — unless Daria hates it! I’d like to see that. That would be something!


  305.  #305Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    All these CDs yet I haven’t had sex since July … With dman … Yessss and I spent all last year praying to heal from the uti I got from having sex w him on January

    Also had sex w getright man a week before him

    Both were lean forward on my part…
    W getright man I told him I wanted sex and went over..

    W dman he asked me to come over and I did

    Before that the non lean forward sex I had was w security man… Tho it was still me going over there… Wow!

    Before that I think in 2009 I was going over to see my regularsex uniforms man who I did not get attached to..,

    And I had sex in a hotel room I bought but needed w ny Jamaican man

    And also w dman

    And before that… Mm I went down mutually on some guy I haven’t seen since…
    And also some getright man sex in there..,

    All in all wow!

    All lean forward sex!

    And not veryuch of it at that!

    Over the past two years

    Gosh “what a waste” is my thought

  306.  #306Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    Lucy – husband is taking carer

    Wife is supporter

  307.  #307Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    Daria thinks it’s be fun only if the guys picked are ones she has chemistry with right off the bat… Now that would feel fun to watch

    A petrified, turned on Daria working thru her triggers w mr desires.

  308.  #308Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:10 pm


    I think she was saying if you want a “helpmate” and describing an artistic kind of guy that would not compete with you the way a hard driven career guy might do. That sounded about right to me.

    Also she said that the same kind of guy if very much older could be a good fit for a way younger woman because they would be at different stages of career and he could help her.

    She defined as “career woman” or “woman with a career.” At this point in my life I think I am “woman with a career” as it is not my main focus… actually stepped away from that anyway. I think my “guy” would be retired or working part-time or have some other part time ventures, not spending 60 hours a week involved in income producing. I value time right now more than money.

    Gee, not sure what I am at a the moment…


  309.  #309Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:12 pm


    Earlier today FW was saying don’t talk about grandchildren to CD as it makes guys feel “old.” True I think. That’s what I meant.


  310.  #310Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    I coulda let sexy cd have sex w me on our second meeting… But no… I felt scared and didn’t want him to leave me after I bonded

    Offfff instead I’ve thrown Muself at men and bonded w them and didnt get much from that… Only Indiana man became a regular and I became lean back w him and also didn’t get attached

  311.  #311Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    Slv – I know I just don’t like that belief.

  312.  #312Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:17 pm


    Would you consider doing “Bachelor” tv show? It could be fun and you are a dating pro. Or would you prefer “Bachelorette?”


  313.  #313Lucy on February 23, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    thx. i am a “woman with no career” at the moment. but i love artistic men.

  314.  #314Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    Maybe I could told sexy cd I feel scared I’ll get bonded and feel heartbroken not to see u

    He seemed so into me, even offered me to live w him when I needed help… Called and said he now had a place… I felt scared..

    He said he wanted to take care of me… Whatever I wanted

    I felt mistrustful cuz he seemed like he could have any girl

    Amd he even wanted me to spend a few says w him

    But no, I mean I felt overwhelmed… I can do short dates.. But.,,

    Not so fast

    Don’t beat self up Daria.. Last time I called on accident he called back

    I could again.. But no…

    That’s the old pattern.., or is it… I always try to tolerate it but give in… I want sex

    Not w dman… No uti. He has to date me or I’ll feel sad

    Maybe sane will be w sexy cd?

    I dono

    Sexy cd come back!!! Wah!

    I want to talk to see if we can have romantic sex

    Come back already

    Security man wants me but I’m starting to feel noted having phonesexed w him but he still hasn’t shown up and somehow I’m just feeling a not turned off and noted

    Don’t know if it’s cuz he Hasn’t shown up or because I think ‘I’ve got him’ cuz of the phone sex


  315.  #315Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    I’ll only do it if it’s hip hop style

    I feel insecure ruining of the bachelor show..,

    The bachelorette would be cool

    Like I said “Daria wRaps”
    And they have to help me make rap songs too

  316.  #316Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    @324: Daria says:

    “…The bachelorette would be cool…”

    I think so too. I would really suit leaning back! What if you really, really met husband!!!


  317.  #317Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    Uh, meant “It would really suit leaning back!”

  318.  #318Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    Ok this is just excess testosterone… I don’t need to text those people and tell them “have sexy cd call me”

    And if I do?

    Well this man is in inconsistent and probably has a lot going on in his life… He won’t be able to show up for me how I want him to… So at best I’ll get kissing , him going down on me, sex, then his disappearance

    At best.

    Well he may come I’m and out bit won’t days me consistently.,,

    But who does??
    Even Italian guy backed off now that I hadnt texted him back in 3 days

    What if sexycd comes, falls in love w me and I remain unattached and enjoy great sex when I want it?

    I’m feeling torn.

    I feel despairing that I’ll ever have great sex again.

    Sexycd might not even want to kiss me or go down on me.,


    I don’t cate about relationship o want sex!!!

    But once I have sex I’ll probably want relationship…


    I am feeling discouraged in fulfilling my sex needs!


    I don’t know how!

    Were supposed to have boytoys that were not into but are into u’s… Maybe that’s what Indiana was…

    But I dono

    Can I have one or some please?

    Ok lol I’ve talked myself into contacting him…

    This u’s how lean forwarding and breaking ur own heart happens

    Wait no it’s feeling bad to think that

    Recheck w self…

    I’m wanting a sex partner

    Will I fall for him.., maybe.,, hm

    My girl just called me


  319.  #319Senior Lady Vibe on February 23, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    Going to do another podcast, tryin to decide who… arielle ford?


  320.  #320Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    Grrr so should I fulfill myself by creating boytoys?

    I wonder…

    Am I able to create them? I do not regret Indiana
    I do regret dman

    I don’t regret nyjamaica but do miss him and feel bad that he’s not all on me…

    Omgosh I’m driving self wild!

    Ladies! This is what it loons like

    Yes loons lol

    I’m certainly not calling security.., but

    This sexy cd guy… He’s so… Inconsistent…

    I want him as my sex partner but would I even be able to get there?

    I almost got getright man’s friend there till I said some kinda dismissive thing to him when triggered


    I don’t want to wait for sexy cd. I want to let him know to call me

    Last time he did and told me to call back but my phone was off and I didnt have his number..,

    Sexycd man…

    Hey… I’ve been really horny and I don’t have a man to sex with and I find u super attractive. Are u interested in kissing and going down on me along w sex?

    That’s what I’d like right now… What do u think?

    I also feel scared to just do it like that… So I need some assurance from u and might not even go through with it but I would like to have a man to please me when I desire it… What do u think?

    Can u help me?

  321.  #321Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    U know what… I talked to my intuition and I’ll just wait till he contacts me

  322.  #322Daria on February 23, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    I feel relieved… Thanks intuition

  323.  #323Brenda on February 24, 2011 at 12:08 am


    RE: #288 – You said, “I don’t want to be on It unless it’s Daria Wraps

    And they all have to help me rap and get songs out”

    LOL! That’s terrific that you know what you want and feel that confident about it!

  324.  #324Daria on February 24, 2011 at 12:17 am

    Ok I just looks at his online profile… He’s not even that cute but he is though

    He looks like this other guy I thought was cute at the club but I felt weird dissed by last time I danced w him – he was like tryna have sex w me and also wouldn’t come to me but spent hella time wanting to talk on webcam when I was in Romania

    He also looks like this other guy o find attractive but saw his eye wander to other women and at first – sane deal wanted to take me out fancy but I felt shocked – then he backed off

    I gotta be real careful nit to push the sexy ones away it seems like

    I feel scare and unworthy

    They’ll be more • thanks universe

  325.  #325Lucy on February 24, 2011 at 12:18 am

    one good thing coming out of today’s interaction with TN man – it effectively stopped my obsessing about WH (for now). my mind is all caught up now in what TN is saying – and that actually feels better than thinking about WH bc with WH my heart aches for him, while with TN I have accepted that we are not a partner match. so thx TN for the gift of relief from pining for WH. ah i love them both so much! prob love TN man more. i love my ex-h a lot too, but not into him at all.

  326.  #326Daria on February 24, 2011 at 12:20 am

    I feel all like … Ahhh…. Now

    How do I get the cute ones?

    I’m worried I energy wise reject them cuz of being scared and they’re really sensitive to that


    I know!

    Paint my toes, and workout a bit!

  327.  #327LonePlum on February 24, 2011 at 12:21 am

    I would feel ungrateful if I did not vote for Rori, on a poll posted on her own blog.
    It would be like spitting in the soup I am eating from. And on the person who gives it to me for free.

    With all the brain storming her blog allows me to do for free, I don’t imagine voting anything else but Rori.

    I don’t think the poll or the site it comes from is relevant or even reknown.
    But I know ME and I know what I owe to Rori’s blog.

    In the name of gratitude, facing my truth and owning my feelings, I had no other option but vote and for Rori.
    I voted for her today again and will every day.
    I reposted the poll on the question thread.

    A siren said we should repost the poll regularly.
    Good idea
    Here goes… 🙂

    Who’s next?
    Those who have a web site can repost it on their web site and ask their readers to vote for Rori 😉


  328.  #328Daria on February 24, 2011 at 12:21 am

    Thanks brenda.

  329.  #329Brenda on February 24, 2011 at 12:23 am


    RE: #308 – You said, “I don’t have a man asking for my number. I was covered with hugs and kisses all day today but they were from a little guy grandson. I promise I will not tell a CD about him.”

    Awww! I feel happy for you! 🙂

  330.  #330Daria on February 24, 2011 at 12:24 am

    Sexy cd said when he first met me… Obviously you’re a high status woman so …blank … Be interested in a regular guy like me…

    Omgosh I miss him!

    I will feel so excited when he calls me!

  331.  #331Daria on February 24, 2011 at 12:25 am

    I can get pretty toe polish and bump my booty up and sexy CDs will come out tha woodwork

  332.  #332Daria on February 24, 2011 at 12:26 am

    Darias goin to bed I say! Wheee I feel thrilled from looking at his pics… That’s like my mini lean forward, since he can see I looked at his page if he checks it

  333.  #333LonePlum on February 24, 2011 at 12:30 am

    341 Daria

    You can download his pictures in your computer.
    So you can look at them as much as you wish, when it feels good to you and he won’t know it 🙂


  334.  #334Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 12:33 am

    @338: Brenda says:

    “…Awww! I feel happy for you!…”

    They always do that and sometimes they get into their electronic games and ignore me too…. hahaha. I was thinking about fun with kids when you mentioned fostering. I hope you are still checking out this idea.

    I’m listening to Arielle Ford and I also just reserved her book from library.

    “Soulmate secret : manifest the love of your life with the law of attraction” by Arielle Ford.

    I’m intrigued by what could be in the book.


  335.  #335Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 12:37 am

    @336: LonePlum

    I’ll give her some votes too. I had an idea Rori would not like this so much. Maybe it’s a good show of support nevertheless. I am very appreciative of the Rori blog which I found through EMK. I’m here most of the time now… 😀


  336.  #336LonePlum on February 24, 2011 at 1:10 am

    312: Lucy

    I can convert the audio into the file extension supported by your mobile phone and send it to you.
    Tell me if you are interested.


  337.  #337Leo on February 24, 2011 at 1:39 am

    Hi Gals!

    Is there a chance that anyone could send me the e-letters since the 14th of Febr.?
    I havent received those but would love to read them. If someone could forward them to me, would be great!!!


  338.  #338Leo on February 24, 2011 at 1:50 am

    Many many thanks! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  339.  #339LonePlum on February 24, 2011 at 1:56 am

    Welcome 🙂

  340.  #340kaitlyn on February 24, 2011 at 2:16 am

    I bet my ex still lurks my FB. Obvs, I want him back. My friend posted on my page as to how I’m doing because she hasn’t heard from me for a while. I’ve been drawing a lot, which I’m stoked about. Can I just put ‘Tons of stuff…I feel stoked!’ Or does that sound like I’m trying too RR-ish? I am in a great mood right now even though I miss him to death. Your thoughts, Sirens?

  341.  #341Leo on February 24, 2011 at 2:28 am

    Today started of really well !!!
    I had a great night of sleep, the sun was rising beautifully, and when I was about to leave my Man got out of bed and was really really cute. His sleeping difficulties get solved slowly but constantly.
    He was really cute last night, too, telling me that he is grateful for me sleeping on the couch for a couple days and that he loves me. When he got up this morning he was in such a good mood, standing in the door frame, telling me how gorgeous I look and kissing me. There was soo much love in his eyes for me and he kept looking and smiling at me.
    It felt so great and it made my day!
    And the most important thing… He was so happy about me being there and loving me totally for who I am!

    Me leaning back, really listening to him a lot, appreciating him and being open to him really pays off.

    I am feeling awesome!
    (And he actually planned on going to work earlier today for then he can come home tonight earlier, too, and we got more time together!)

    *big smile


  342.  #342Ella on February 24, 2011 at 2:40 am

    @ Alonka

    “I was wondering today – how you can truly trust someone who once betrayed you? Won’t it be easier for them to do it again second time around? and then 3rd time? Will they ever forget that you are willing to overlook their betrayal? That you value your pain and disappointment lower than you value them? Isn’t it ridiculous even to consider accepting someone who once decided that they want to cross you out of their life?”

    Exactly what I have been wondering too.

    I am going to express this to my CD (Mr B). As well as my doubts about meeting him, when he contacts me.

    I am working on soothing myself and my anxiety..

    People get more than one chance with me.

    I will let them know how their behaviour made me feel w/o blaming. They need to know and I need to express.

    But I will have boundaries that they are not allowed to repeatedly cross.

    If they do I will remove myself.

    This is my plan to value myself and make myself feel safe whilst remaining open.


  343.  #343Ella on February 24, 2011 at 2:46 am





  344.  #344LonePlum on February 24, 2011 at 2:48 am

    349: kaitlyn

    “Tons of stuff” could be translated by him as “I have had lots of trips to Paris”
    Written words are traitors.

    I would answer to her through a private email on facebook.
    I would stay away from my wall.
    I would wait to feel stabilized before I can fiddle with the public part of facebook.

    Or if you really want to post publicly, make sure it is specific, what i call a locked idea. Something that can not be interpreted in 2 different ways. Simple facts.

    I do not understand the expression “I feel stocked”. Can you explain, please?


  345.  #345Leo on February 24, 2011 at 3:13 am


    yeah I finally feel optimistic again that we can get back to our (to me) “perfect” relationship.
    And the one main part (which I would name as “Me having an OWN life beside the relationship”) I working on big time!!
    And it makes me feel great to!
    Today is a good day 🙂


  346.  #346Ann on February 24, 2011 at 3:16 am

    Re: #16

    FW you said:

    When he actually feels that YOU’RE HAPPY, and that HE’S the one making you happy, he’ll be happy. Men look to us to lead them through a relationship. And yet, we can’t take the lead, or we’ll push them away.

    We have to lead a man through a relationship just by being so comfortable inside ourselves that he feels compelled to move it forward on his own.

    You’re suddenly more fun than his friends, than his hobbies – even more fun than the TV!

    I’ve been unhappy lately. Unhappy with myself. My LI keeps saying, I just want to make you happy, I just want you to be happy. I always was happy myself and with him, then things changed inside myself by losing my job, starting to feel down, getting paranoid. What happened? He started all of the sudden wanting to take MORE weekend trips with his friends, watch MORE tv, do things away from me and my depressed mood and self unhappiness. Things were never better between us when I was just genuinely happy inside with AND without him. I was a magnet to him, he didn’t want to leave my side. I was FUN to be around!! Need to get back to being comfortable inside myself and just BEING happy again!!! I’m watching things fall apart in my relationship just by my vibe changing to negative. I needed that post!! Thank you for that!

  347.  #347Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 3:19 am


    “stoked” = fired up with excitement and enthusiasm.


  348.  #348Alonka on February 24, 2011 at 5:27 am

    SLV, Ella,

    Thank you for your inputs. I feel calmer today.

    Yesterday was a bit tough – had my class after work and went to bed early – given I work from 7am this week.

  349.  #349Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 5:27 am

    RE 355 Ann that was something I read somewhere else and thought it might help someone here. I am sorry to hear about your situation and want to let you know that job loss is one of the big stressors of life that people normally respond to in this way. I hope you can spend some time though talking to yourself, both in your mind and aloud, in front of the mirror. Visualize things that made you happy back then and hold onto that image as much as you can. Most of the work is internal anyway. That might help you to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and help my mind to start searching for ways to attract a job to you.

    All the best.

  350.  #350Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 5:29 am

    RE 350 Leo that was great to read.

  351.  #351Alonka on February 24, 2011 at 5:30 am

    Kaitlyn #349

    I would consider going to my wall.. and posting something simple, sincere and short.. feminine.. like ‘I’ve been drawing a lot, taking walks in the park.. read a good book’

    Walks in the park is up to you haha it’s been freezing in the city!!!

  352.  #352Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 5:32 am

    RE 343 SLV I read that book and have put some things into practice. One big thing is making space in your home for your partner. I think it is something Carol Allen also teaches.

  353.  #353Alonka on February 24, 2011 at 5:42 am


    I saw it mentioned here and there that your leg is unwell.. Hope you feel better soon! These things take time to heal.

    I can totally relate as that summer when the guy broke up with me in the middle of 2nd ave I first stayed on the same spot for 2 hours – I have no idea why;))) And then the next day I fell off the staircase!! and couldn’t walk straight for another 2-3 months. So what – guys still approached me, saying ‘I noticed that you’re a bit crippled, but still pretty’.


  354.  #354Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 5:44 am

    RE 299 Daria reading your comments got me wondering if it is like the creative energy that Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks talk about? I have to go review that.

  355.  #355Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 5:55 am

    RE 277 Boomer how about going into your bedroom and saying that your “dream husband”? Arielle Ford teaches somethng like that. Live “as if”. I have a CD who lives alone and does that. He will be on the phone with me sometimes and talking to his imaginary wife “what did you cook tonight honey” stuff like that. I found it funny initially when I started to interact with him but have learnt that some coaches teaches that we should do that type of thing or something similar. It helps our minds to create what we really want.

  356.  #356Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 5:59 am

    RE 274 Deb not sure that you chose the wrong dude. It might be that your mind led you to do what you had created internally and wanted to do anyway? Regardless of the dude? Remember sometimes we fall off our commitment and have to re-commit or change our commitments somehow. Thank God for a second chance.

  357.  #357Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 6:19 am

    @362: Alonka

    Thanks for your kind words. You are so sweet.


  358.  #358Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 6:25 am

    @361: Femininewoman says:
    “…RE 343 SLV I read that book and have put some things into practice. One big thing is making space in your home for your partner. I think it is something Carol Allen also teaches…”

    I’m intrigued by the things arielle ford talked about and can’t wait to read the book. She talks about timing too and I really believe that part as well; I kind of living that.

    Terri Hernon MacDonald also does something very much like this; I haven’t read her book but it seems to be the same concept…what she practiced and then her husband showed up!

    Have you noticed any changes in yourself or CD since the book? I have a good feeling about Arielle Ford book…I’m not sure why…I haven’t seen it.


  359.  #359Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 6:28 am


    I have a queen size bed so maybe there’s enough room for sweetie there too. Do you think I should go buy a pillow for him? I’m serious…

    I’m not sure about walking around town talking to him.


  360.  #360Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 6:33 am

    Carol Allen Newsletter

    Did you know that you have SO much power when it comes to your love life?

    Whether you’re dateless, dating, in a relationship, or married for fifty years – you can tap into the HIGHEST part of yourself and inspire the men of the world to fall at your feet…

    You just need to know how.

    Have you ever known a woman who was incredibly popular with men but not for OBVIOUS reasons?

    Like, she didn’t have an amazing body, she wasn’t classically beautiful, she wasn’t super smart…

    And yet – there was something that seemed to LURE men to her, almost as if by MAGIC?

    I have! I’ve known several such women, and have observed them over time. Some were friends I grew up with, some have been clients…And they all share a few things in common.

    And – the GOOD NEWS is – since it’s NOT that they’re amazingly physically blessed or mentally gifted – ANY of us MERE mortals can LEARN what they know, and start having the kind of results they have.

    (You know – men falling all over them to get their attention!)

    So… what’s their SECRET? What’s the big mystery, you ask?

    In a nutshell, they have the TWO most important qualities men are universally looking for:

    1. They’re SEXY

    2. They’re FUN

    Yup – it may not sound spiritually deep, but it’s true – men want to be with women who are SEXY and FUN.

    Now, the words “sexy” and “fun” are loaded words.

    One man’s “sexy” may be another man’s fat…

    One man’s “sexy” may be another’s man’s scrawny…

    One man’s “fun” may be another man’s annoying…

    One man’s “fun” may be another man’s hyper.

    You get the idea.

    And yet – there are a few things that men universally mean when they say “sexy.”

    The word “sexy” means you are IN YOUR BODY. Not your head. You’re PRESENT. You’re with him when he’s with you – you’re not looking around, worried about your hair, thinking of what to say next, afraid of what he’s thinking…You’re comfortable in your own skin, and you can HOLD his gaze.

    Ahhhh…The word “fun” means you’re HAPPY. You ELEVATE situations. You’re playful, flexible, upbeat, open to what happens…You make him forget his problems.

    You make time fly. You bring a smile to his face.
    A man will KNOCK himself out for a woman who can do that! Even if she’s NOT his usual “type,” not a great dresser, not otherwise successful…

    For years I spoke at singles events and GORGEOUS women, dressed to the nines, would come up to me and say, “I get SO many first dates, but not a lot of second ones, and I don’t know why…” And right away I could tell why. They were NERVOUS, ANXIOUS, and TRYING too hard. With every twitch and terse smile they were broadcasting to the world their discomfort and lack of confidence.

    And it even made ME want to run in the other direction! (Not really – I’m being dramatic…)

    And they had no idea what was going on.

    Whereas, women who AREN’T necessarily great beauties or fabulous dressers but who can do ANY of that other stuff for a man (make his problems vanish, etc.) will get TONS of men going out of their way to win their affections…

    So what do you do if you’re not a goddess with men? Can you really change that?

    Can you go from being nervous, anxious, and trying too hard to being relaxed, calm, playful, and in the moment? YES!

    >> Increase your self-esteem and self-love (‘cuz they’re NOT the same thing, and the old adage is true – no one can love you more than you love yourself!)

    >> Put yourself in an empowered, positive state before dates or events with your guy (so he’ll feel AMAZING around you!)

    >> Access your full-body intelligence to help you to KNOW who to let into your life – and when to RUN

    >> RAMP UP your happiness (because it’s been proven that 50% of your happiness is UP TO YOU and NOT due to circumstances…)

    >> Be a “cool girl” that men LOVE to be around, while still having your own opinions and being able to be yourself

    >> And so much more!

    When you know your STRONG and WEAK links, it enables you to INCREASE your inborn “good stuff” and “minimize” your “not as good stuff” so that you don’t unconsciously PUT MEN OFF.

    (Seriously – learning about these parts of yourself can not only allow you to FORGIVE yourself for these less than perfect traits you possess – it can totally SAVE your love life!)

    So – unlock your inner SEXY and FUN side at last, and make the most of what your stars have in store!

  361.  #361Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 6:34 am

    RE 368 SLV You could and you will see things like that in the book.

  362.  #362Daria on February 24, 2011 at 7:17 am

    Loneplum – lol I surely hope I won’t need to go there
    I had enuf looking at him…

    Wow I just remembered that last night I remembered I was traveling with him and waka flaka flame – who to me right now is the most gorgeous man in the world –

    And they look a bit alike… We were in a big suv I think his… Yes… In the desert.

    They got arrested though but let go..,

  363.  #363Winnie on February 24, 2011 at 7:44 am

    Whoa!! Had to lean way way back tonight to get my GentleSteel guy to step up tonight.

    Earlier this week he asked me if I would have dinner with him and we made plans for dinner this Sat (he’d insisted that I chose the date and then said he would let me know but he might have to work) That felt a bit weird to me at the time but I let it go.

    Tonight after a few flirty texts, he said he can’t do Saturday and that he had plans with his mates for the following weekend but we will catch up sometime.
    I felt a little put off by that. Pre RR Tools, I had been very lean forward and did all the asking and planning and he just went along. I had liked the fact I’d been asked this time, but because he had been non committal about the date, it left him with all the power to say it didn’t suit. I was a bit sick of it all, him saying he wanted to see me then backing out all the time. Decided to practise with the tools a bit.

    So I just said “A vanishing magician is very intriguing but Winnie the Witch may be left wondering”. Suddenly he was all interested again and wanted to see me this week (we are about 3 hours apart so we meet in between and some organisation required)I felt Iike he would be more committed to the arrangements if he made them, but he took a lot of convincing!! Here’s how it went..

    Me:That’s ok then. Let me know if you have a plan.
    Him: A plan? Well you name the town.
    Me: I like surprises
    Him: Well I like a little direction
    Me: North
    Him: Very funny, X town or Y town?
    Me:I would enjoy your company whatever the town
    Him: Have you been drinking?
    Me:Haha! No! I would love for you to decide this time.
    Him: X town. What day would you like to see me?
    Me:I am letting you decide
    Me: I make decisions all day long and it feels good when a man makes them for me sometimes.
    Him: How about Tuesday night at abc restaurant?
    Me: Tuesday feels good. I would like that.
    to myself (Yes!!)
    Him:Nite nite young lady. I will call you Tuesday
    Me: Should be fun. Nite nite gentle man : )

    It felt good that he made the decisions in the end, but still feels a bit odd that I had to keep nudging him in the right direction. I hope he is starting to get the idea that I want him to lead a bit. He tends to be very lean back and always asks what I want to do. Baby steps!!

  364.  #364Simply Shannon on February 24, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Orna, thank you for being so gracious and understanding. I’m in a weird funk. Bored maybe? I dunno. I feel stuck and I don’t know what to do. Trying to be okay with what is and just hang out here for a bit but I don’t really like it. I feel angry about it. I guess I expected I’d get to this stage of loving myself and something would shift. But here I sit. Bored and pissed.

    Daria, I’d like to explore something with you. Do you mind? I mentioned in my post that most folks are not loving life when they aren’t in a relationship. I noticed your post about loving life even though you are not in a relationship. And I had some questions/ thoughts come up. I’m saying these to myself of course but hoping you can help me sort through them. Do you mind?

    When I read your post, I immediately judged myself/you by saying “then what the hell are you doing here? If you’re so happy in your life without a relationship, why are you on a relationship blog? And why all this focus on dates if life is so wonderful?”

    If the dates stopped, would life feel so wonderful? If all of “this relationship focus” went away, would life feel so wonderful?

    I feel stuck, stuck, stuck and mad. And I’m totally judging myself for focusing on relationship so much. I’m pretty tired of beating this dead horse. I want the perfect man just to show up. I don’t want to date frogs or answer messages from men online.

    I believe something in me is wanting to shift/heal but I don’t know what or how. Trusting God to send me a message/sign that will help me. I need it. Right now.

    Oh wow. Tears there. Hmmm…

  365.  #365Simply Shannon on February 24, 2011 at 7:51 am

    Brenda, I feel jealous and happy about your recent news. I haven’t caught all of it but I saw the note about the house and the job. God is opening up doors for you!!

    Hrmphh… yes there’s jealousy there and surprise too. I feel surprised by how much I would love to be in your shoes right now.

    The shift in you is nothing short of awesome! Thrilled for you (but little girl in me feels pouty … you got the red shiny ball. *blush*)

  366.  #366Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 7:58 am


    Hi SS, I’m pretty happy most of the time except I have a few recurrent health difficulties so vibe is a little low right now and I’m downright funky from time to time.

    I like to have personal projects and things to look forward to. I was pleasantly surprise to here Pat (Carol?) Allen talk about that when I listened to her podcast last night, she also mentioned learning a new language. I started that but got sidetracked so picking it up again.

    The Arielle Ford book sounded kind of good too. Maybe something like that would give you some fun activities but at the same time focus on manifesting a “soulmate!” It does seem like it could be fun doing it! There were also some interesting stories of results. Considering the success you’ve had with similar this might be a good approach for you!

    What do you think?


  367.  #367Boomer on February 24, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Thanks for the love and hugs y’all. Am home with a sick daughter today. Nice break from the office, actually.

    Yeah, I was pretty bummed when I realized the only guy who actually cared whether I was home and that I was alive is my ex-husband so that he can give the kids back to me…

    I have read some of that “make room for him” stuff before too– Shakti Gawain’s Soulmate book, I believe. I have an entire dresser open for “him” And he has a pillow too. I think about that a lot though–can I make room for a man in my life and my kids’ lives? Can two people who’ve been on their own make room for another set of rules/traditions/preferences?

    I struggle with it. I have been journaling about what I’d be willing to change for someone.

    DangerousDavis, the instant relationship guy whose drama brought me here, said a couple times (and much much too early in our relationship, I might add) that he could not see how we would blend lives or who would compromise (I think he feared it would be him). I should not have entertained the conversation at all, I realize now, but what I did say was that for a man I loved and who loved me, logistics would not keep us apart. (He was worried about stuff like how to load the dishwasher–stuff I don’t care about. In retrospect, I think *I* would have been doing all the compromising with him. He was very particular about how things “ought to be” and had a control-freak ex-wife too. Oh, Lord, that man was SO not ready for a relationship–it’s so clear now!!!!)

    Anyway, I think I sold that Shakti Gawain book to Half Price Books when I moved. It was kind of airy-fairy and new-agey, so some may feel it’s not as practical as it could be. But I like her in theory.

    Back to another conference call and then taking Schmoopie to the doctor.

  368.  #368Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:01 am

    SS: I have some feedback and I feel a little scared to share because I don’t want to trigger you by saying something trite. 🙂 but I’m gonna do it anyway.

    Something jumped out to me when you said you were feeling stuck and wanting the perfect man to show up. I’ve also picked up on this theme before in your posts.

    I wonder if waiting for the perfect man is what is making you feel stuck.

    I truly believe that no matter where we go, there we are. And no matter who we date, there we are.

    No man is going to be perfect. We will always have a vision and desire for more. That’s what growth is.

    Also, I know I am not “perfect”. I mean, I am in my own way but I definitely have a vision of what I want to evolve into.

    I feel curious if this resonate with you.

  369.  #369Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 8:03 am

    OK, I’m convinced. I’ve been on my own for so long I think I’d better get busy right away making some space for this incoming man. “Incoming!”

    Even if the manifestation doesn’t “work” I will need the practice for *me* to get used to having someone around all the time and permanently.

    This makes sense to me now. Hmmm, this could be fun…as long as don’t start walking around mumbling to myself. LOL 😆


  370.  #370Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:06 am

    SS: I just thought of an example.

    Take smoking. I know it’s something you have struggled with (me too). Imagine if a man wrote you off for smoking without knowing that you yourself didn’t like it and planned to quit the very next day.

    I’m laughing and not sure that it’s a good analogy but I’m gonna leave it anyway.


  371.  #371Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 8:06 am

    UH-oh, what was I thinking? I think my fingers and brain are becoming more and more disconnected. 😳

    “I was pleasantly surprised to hear Pat (Carol?) Allen talk about that when I listened to her podcast last night…”

  372.  #372Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:09 am

    SLV: cool! I read Arielle’s book too and the main thing that struck me was creating space for the man.

    I cleaned out my closet. Got new bedding. Etc.

    I’m feel so excited about this!

  373.  #373Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 8:16 am

    @381: Laughing Goddess says:
    “…SLV: cool! I read Arielle’s book too and the main thing that struck me was creating space for the man.
    I cleaned out my closet. Got new bedding. Etc.
    I’m feel so excited about this!…

    Golly gee! It worked for you! Maybe I should get new bedding instead of just another pillow; I have four pillows and they and all my bedding are kind of girlie. Maybe I will get some new things, more neutral. I will think about it; replacing everything could get pricey.


  374.  #374Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Lone Plum:

    Thanks for the reminder to vote. I don’t know if it’s important to Rori or not, but I feel really good expressing my support for her. I feel so thankful for her work and the space she creates for us here on the blog. I’m off to vote now.

  375.  #375Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:21 am

    SLV: I really needed new bedding at the time anyway. It’s not really necessary. Creating space for him will be just fine. Maybe a pillow would be nice. I’m sure he will be stoked to be welcomed to your girlie bed…you naughty naughty girl.

  376.  #376Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 8:26 am

    @384: Laughing Goddess says:

    “…you naughty naughty girl…”

    Fun. tee hee 😆


  377.  #377Boomer on February 24, 2011 at 8:28 am

    Winnie, regarding your lean-back guy. Urg, why do they do that??? “Be the boy!” I want to shout it at them!

    I want to explore the differences between the “leaning back guy” versus a “boy energy guy” a little and see what you all think.

    Yesterday, my friend Shaunn (a different one–not one of the Sean/Shawn/Shauns I was CDing–all of whom have vanished, incidentally!), emailed me about how dating was going.

    He was/is smitten with a woman, and complained that she won’t “meet him halfway” (both literally and figuratively, I am guessing). Here’s the dialogue:

    SHAUNN: Strange irritating little mini infatuation. A sweetheart really. Went out a few times, but not willing to put in the effort to split the small distance between us. Ended strangely. It’s a weird dance, ain’t it?

    BOOMER: Hi, again, Shaunn! She was not willing to split the distance? Or you were not? I’ll tell ya, I too feel more comfortable having a man come to me. I prefer not to travel to a man unless there is a commitment. I’m the girl. I want to be the girl. I want to be wooed and pursued and be made a fuss over so HE feels like the man. I’d suggest that if you want her, go back. Make her feel like the girl. It IS weird, you’re right, but salvageable, I think!

    SHAUN: She was not willing. Why the hell is it OUR responsibility to stalk the prey? Yeah, but you know what…guys want that too-being pursued. We want to feel like it’s reciprocated. Like we’re not stalking. Most of us (at least the reasonable ones) have a hair trigger about feeling like we’re stalking someone, and women have a hair trigger when they’re feeling like they’re being stalked. I LOVE making a fuss over a woman…I just wanna know it’s returned, and that I’m not making a complete ASS out of myself.

    And the GAME sucks. That’s all I’m saying. I’m looking for some connection. Some kind of honest, “I actually like you” connection. The GAME prevents that. But I’m bitter tonight. I’ll be better in the morning. And…I’m laughing really hard at myself right now. Thanks for the advice though.


    OK, so, here’s a new twist or two. What do Sirens do with these male needs/preferences and still be sirens?

    – Men want to be pursued by us too (Oh, this feels ICK to me).
    – Men are conscious of not being stalkers or appearing too eager (Shaunn shared that in a later IM conversation–needing to “play it cool”).
    -Men dislike “the game” too, yet they feel trapped by its rules. They just want connection too.

    IS Shaunn just a feminine-energy kind of guy? I mean, he’s very gentle and kind and cerebral–not a real testosterone-y kind of man at all–maybe he’s fem energy? But I don’t think so…

    What do you all think of what Shaunn had to say???

  378.  #378Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Sooo, I just voted.

    Based on the tallies and the email someone posted here, it looks like EMK and another coach are asking their readers to vote which has them leaps and bounds ahead of everyone else.

    Oh well, I’m still gonna vote just because it only takes a sec and makes me feel good.

  379.  #379Daria on February 24, 2011 at 8:32 am

    Shannon I like the dayting. Thats part of singledom.

  380.  #380Pamelala on February 24, 2011 at 8:36 am

    SLV and LG,

    When my best friend and I heard about the concept of creating space for a man, we had a girl date and both redecorated our bedrooms. They went from girlie to sumptuous and sexy with great textures and colors….silk, fur, deep browns and plum. Mmmmm, I love sleeping on my silk sheets and can’t wait to share them with *him*.

  381.  #381Alonka on February 24, 2011 at 8:37 am

    Where do you vote?

  382.  #382Simply Shannon on February 24, 2011 at 8:39 am

    I am a magnet for negative vibes right now. I’m going to do the tool that Arielle Ford described about allowing myself to vent negative thoughts for three minutes. Egg timer (aka online alarm clock) set. And go…

    I am a piece of shit.
    No one will ever love me.
    I’m going to be stuck in this same place forever until I die.
    No man will ever stay.
    No man worth having will ever stay.
    My standards are too high.
    I should just take what I can get and be happy with that.
    I could settle and have a relationship.
    What might that look like?
    I don’t want to be alone.
    I don’t feel complete without a man.
    I don’t believe anyone who says they are complete or happy without a relationship.
    I can’t even imagine life without wanting/having a relationship. Maybe Mother Teresa or some martyr, but not me.
    I believe all relationships are doomed to fail.
    I don’t truly believe anyone is happy in a relationship.
    I believe one if not both people are faking happiness inside that relationship.

    Except my folks. I believe their relationship. It’s not perfect but it definitely works for them. Ok and maybe my aunt and uncle. And my grandmother and grandfather (before he died). Even my brother and SIL (although some part of me wonders about that one sometimes – they both have a fiery personality but it really does work).

    Ugh so maybe I believe it’s possible for everyone else BUT me.

    What the hell??

    Shift please. Heal please. I don’t want to believe this for myself.

  383.  #383Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:39 am

    Pamelala: yum!

  384.  #384Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:41 am

    SS: Yes! Negativity dump. I did that last night. I spent a while in a super negative place. Once I got it all out, I felt sooo much better. How are you feeling now?

  385.  #385Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 8:41 am

    @387: Laughing Goddess says:

    “…Based on the tallies and the email someone posted here, it looks like EMK and another coach are asking their readers to vote which has them leaps and bounds ahead of everyone else. …”

    I posted the e-mail just before I voted for EMK. At that time i didn’t know Rori was a nominee. Of course he asked, that’s how it’s done. I’ve done this before and rallied votes, all of mine were “finalists” and the prizes were big: one was $50,000 in Pepsi foundation money, second in another voting contest was full college scholarship. People don’t play around with this but some don’t like it it all; I thought Rori was in the second camp.

    I’m kinda competitive and will get out votes, note my choices in last year, WON! But don’t know how I can promote for this while being anonymous…

    Anyway just voted for Rori. If everyone on this blog and one or two friends each voted every day, it would be a nice showing.


  386.  #386Laughing Goddess on February 24, 2011 at 8:45 am

    It feels good to get those negative thoughts that are bouncing around our heads out.

    Once I say them outloud (or write them), I realize the ridiculousness if them. It kinda takes their power away.

  387.  #387Alonka on February 24, 2011 at 8:47 am

    Feeling a bit weak today for being rejected ;( I know my horse is around somewhere, need to look for it..

    Yes my theory is definitely that they remember girls that said no to them, but easily walk away from the ‘nice’ ones.

    my new CD wants to see me again. Everyone has no choice but to switch, I should stop complaining;)

  388.  #388Simply Shannon on February 24, 2011 at 8:49 am

    LG, thank you for writing to me. I definitely do set high standards for men and for myself. The thing is that most of the men I’ve been dating aren’t even close to my standard. I’ve been accepting dates with these men (and falling for some of them – Mr. Fab Kisser for example). But none have been close to what I want. And I knew it even while I was falling for them (maybe I convinced myself this was the best I could have?) I don’t know. I’m going to do the Arielle Ford Soulmate list and see what that brings up. Maybe if I got clear about what was really important to me than I could focus on that.

    I just know that right now I feel turned off at the idea of dating the men who are contacting me. Seriously turned off. I’m having to force myself to write feeling messages to them to say I don’t feel attracted. Otherwise I just wouldn’t respond to them. But then I’d feel bad for not replying when they took the effort to write me. (I try to imagine what I would do if they were really in front of me and I’d respond and say no thanks.)

    Writing is helping. Maybe I just needed to vent a bit.

  389.  #389Simply Shannon on February 24, 2011 at 8:56 am

    SLV, Thanks also for replying to me too. I listened to Pat Allen and Arielle Ford last night. I loved Pat’s comment: Do you want to get laid (masculine) or paid (feminine)?

    I am going to do the Soulmate list and manifest my man. Thank you for encouraging me out of my funkdom.

  390.  #390Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 8:57 am

    RE 372 Winne the witch. Sweet I have to make a mental note of these things as I called my disappearing man Houidini once. He said “whatdatmean”, my response “hehehe”

    SLV I have an empty drawer, partially empty closet removed the pictures of nieces etc from my bedroom. It was radical thinking for me but I tried. When I started there was 1 (blankety blank blank) in my rotation. He has since changed a bit, plus there are two others but I tend to trigger their withdrawal switch every so often. I am not worried about it because though I am ready to move forward, I acknowledge that I still have a lot of work to do on myself. I am committed to creating the best relationship possible where the man gets up every morning feeling he is the luckiest man alive so I am taking my time a bit and learning as much as I can. I have the rest of my life to create that and I intend to live for a long time yet.

  391.  #391Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 8:58 am

    @389: Pamelala
    “… They went from girlie to sumptuous and sexy with great textures and colors….silk, fur, deep browns and plum. Mmmmm, I love sleeping on my silk sheets and can’t wait to share them with *him*…”

    Winter bedding has eyelet lace and pastels/micro floral. Summer is girlier, white with more lacy stuff. I will have to “get into” this. Make some changes, yum! Deep browns and plums sounds good. In the past I have used some of those colors but not lately. It’s sounding interesting now…


  392.  #392Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 9:00 am

    Alonka you were not rejected. You are hot, sexy and beautiful. He was afraid of being rejected so he did a “I get you before you get me” one on him out of fear. He thought you were too hot for him. It was not about you.

  393.  #393Rori Raye on February 24, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Oh, LG and all – thank you so much for finding that voting for best dating blog –I wasn’t even aware of this….I’ll snoop around and see if there’s any payoff here for all of us if we come out on top and let you know….wow it sure triggered my competitive spirit and energy around “marketing”- so I voted, too! Love, Rori

  394.  #394Senior Lady Vibe on February 24, 2011 at 9:08 am

    @402: Rori Raye says:
    ”…- so I voted, too! Love, Rori…”

    Woohoo, a girl after my own heart!


  395.  #395Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 9:14 am

    Boomer IMHO he is not being feminine. He is afraid of rejection like we are. Another coach says backlead as in give some indication that there is interest. Rori says to share how we feel. My sense is that she is interested but did not share that. She might be excited about his interest but did not say that. Reading your “I want to be wooed and pursued” I felt like I would have said “It makes me happy when the big man steps up to woo and pursue me because I believe it makes him feel like the macho man that he is” or something to that effect. Guys have egos and some coaches encourage to boost their ego a bit. Not flame it up but play with it a little. Using only I want as written here comes across to me as a bit aloof. Which man do you honestly believe want to be crushed by a beautiful woman. I have read where Dr. Paul says shamefacedness reduces their masculinity and what we want is that they feel an increase in their masculinity just by knowing us. If this is a new dating relationship why would the guy give you all he wants before he is even sure he wants you? This is the conundrum I have when reading some of the interactions here. I am more prone to give a little to see what comes back to me otherwise it feels a bit selfish. For me the question is where is the balance?

  396.  #396Boomer on February 24, 2011 at 9:20 am

    FW, I suspect I was not clear that Shaunn is just a buddy/friend I’ve know a long time. Not a CD in any way. So I was not getting all feely with him. I was trying to lay it our there for him. He and I have that kind of friendship. I suppose I could practice the feeling stuff on my guy friends too–I know you do, FW, with good results.

  397.  #397Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 9:21 am

    Boomer I should also say I don’t believe he wants to be pursued. What he wants to know is that there is shared interest. If she begins to pursue he will be turned off. I would ask him if he sensed whether she was open or closed to him, forgetting what she said? What was her vibe saying? I would gamble that he was aware of her body language and her tone. I would also gamble that she was not warm and welcoming. Think about seduction and human nature, people want what they can’t have. If she had his “dingaling up, at alert” flirting with him while gently rejecting him with her words he would not give up. Ask him.

  398.  #398Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 9:21 am

    Boomer I understood that. I was just sharing what I sensed.

  399.  #399Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 9:25 am

    RE 368 SLV I walk around town talking to myself. “I am all that. I am a prize. I am worthy”. Yes I move my lips and I find myself funny so I giggle sometimes. It does turn heads and get hellos from guys sometimes. My son sometimes ask me what is wrong because the mumbling gets loud but not fully audible at times.

  400.  #400femenrgylove on February 24, 2011 at 9:52 am

    hi all
    #330 do you speak to your intuition?

    today has been hard.its day 7.and i’ve been listening for,thinking about and ‘hearing’ my phone.i’m feeling sad.and also i just apologised to the universe for saying bad things about his ex.
    he had his reasons for being with her,maybe she knew how to engage with him better than i do.she may not look as good as i feel i do but if she is able to engage with him more like a siren than i am who am i to judge?i’m damning myself and my situation by speaking ill about a woman who meant so much to him.i felt so bad i actually cried.i cried because it also made me feel not good enough.not sireny i have to stoop so low as to talk shi%t about her?
    i feel punished for that.
    i want so much to clear the air between us and just have fun..i dont even want to have ‘the talk’ i just want to state in feeling messages that i will not accept being treated a certain way and continue to enjoy each other.its beena hard seven days.i feel my core is sore,i’ve tried so hard to be strong my back hurts.and i cant do this anymore.i feel like dissolving into t he floor and i dont want a quick fix,i dont want to put a band aid on it.i want to heal.i’m finally falling apart,and i want the tension to leave my body.

  401.  #401Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 9:58 am

    Alexandra Fox – Some information from different articles

    Tip #1: Mystery
    I accidentally discovered the first secret years ago, when I was dating this cute guy. I was really reluctant to give him too much information about myself. Truth be told, I met him on a dating website and I was extremely cautious. So when he started asking where I worked and where I lived, I didn’t really want to tell him. I wasn’t playing a game. I just didn’t want to tell him too much about me. After all, I didn’t really know him well at this point and I saw no need for him to know certain things about me. Unwittingly, I had created an enormous sense of intrigued and mystery. The less I wanted to answer his questions, the more it drove him nuts. (In a good way. If a guy is truly becoming angry and frustrated by your lack of answers, he will normally leave.) This kept him intrigued and eager to know more. Give a little bit, but keep a lot more for later on …

    During conversations with him, simply let him do a bit of talking. Consciously plan on asking him a question and give him time to elaborate without cutting him off with your own take on the topic. Not only are you trimming down the amount of information you’re giving out, but you’re also showing great interest in him and that can help in your quest to create great desire.

    What man doesn’t enjoy talking about himself? Praise him. Show your admiration for the things he’s ready to brag about. After all, the guy is probably telling you a lot of stuff hoping to impress you. Without gushing or making it too obvious, show him that he does, indeed, impress you.

    In doing so, you’re giving his ego a boost, you’re validating him and you’re making him feel a whole lot better about himself.

    Tip #2: Remain Somewhat Inaccessible

    A guy will get excited and be flattered knowing a woman wants him, but when that want is too strong and too intense, it can be a real turn off.

    Take a step back and let him miss you a bit. During your brief absence, his desire will grow and intensify. Telling him no when he asks you for a date will make him more eager to see you when you are free.

    Tip #3: Can You Do Too Much?

    Before you set out to win the desire of a man, know yourself well enough to realize how you treat men in your life.

    The thing is, though you may feel you’re simply being nice, your actions can be misconstrued as desperate by the guy. Watch his reaction closely and read any discomfiture when you do a good deed. Does he look at you strangely? Does he question why you even did it to begin with?

    His Mind

    Part of seducing a man’s mind is in getting him to work in order to get to know everything about you.

    You intrigue him.

    He gets increasingly curious about you. He wants to know more. He tries to draw answers out of you with discreet questions. And when you sidestep or answer in a vague

    If you tend to wear your emotions on your sleeve and you let all the love and adoration you have for him show in your deep and intense gaze, you may be letting him know more about your feelings than you realize.

    Remain cool. You can still be affectionate and have loads of fun with him. But remember to keep it on your terms. Be prepared to pull back every once in a while.

    Here’s how I see things — women are not supposed to CHASE after men. It’s the other way around. You should be so physically and emotionally attractive that men chase after YOU. (And from there, it’ll be up to you to choose which one you like the most.)
    So when the next five minutes alone with a cute single guy comes along, should you play it cool, or should you play it hot?

    My answer: Neither. You shouldn’t play at all.

    Here’s the thing — whether you’re “playing it cool” or “playing it hot,” it’s still “playing.” And you’re never supposed to put on a show for a guy, especially if you’re looking for the REAL MEN in society out there. So here’s my advice for today: Instead of “playing it cool” or “playing it hot,” LEAD HIM IN!

    “Leading him in” is basically being a much better, much more attractive, and much more fun version of yourself. You basically improve and enhance your personality to NATURALLY attract men. No “playing” necessary!

    To make it a bit easier, here’s the difference between the three:

    When you “play it cool” with a great single guy, you don’t ask for his number — and he doesn’t ask for yours. You never see each other again.

    When you “play it hot,” you write down your number on a piece of Kleenex — even before he asks for it — and chirp at him, “Call me anytime!” (Of course, he doesn’t. End of story.)

    But when you “lead him in,” you engage him in a quick 5-minute conversation that’s so intellectually sexy that he can’t help but ask for your number. And when you do give it to him, you tell him:

    “Do your worst!”

    Now THAT’S a challenge he won’t back out of!

    “Leading him in” is a self-improvement philosophy that’s been helping many to create healthy, sexy, and enjoyable relationships with the men in their lives.
    By the way, there’s another word for “leading him in.” Do you know what it is?

    It’s “Seduction.”

  402.  #402Darling Ella on February 24, 2011 at 10:02 am


    Rori just posted a new blog…lets give our support and our vote …

    See u on the new thread 🙂

    Warm hugs,

  403.  #403Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 10:02 am

    RE 409 Did you get the mp3s with the tapping that heals to do that sort of thing.

    sorry to hear you are hurting. I am sending hugs to you. Go ahead and fall to the ground and. Heart break is healing and you will feel better after. Sit with the hurt and soreness for a while believe me it only gets better. I have been there. If you reach out to him it must likely will not end well. He has his process that he has to go through also and it will not help if you shortcircuit that.

  404.  #404Lucy on February 24, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Shannon, I have noticed that many ppl who say they are happy without a relationship are clearly Not happy. It’s like in that movie “Definitely Maybe” – the little girl tells her divorced dad to call an old flame bc “I want you to be happy.” He answers, “I Am happy.” She looks at him sadly and sagely says, “Dad, trust me, you’re not happy.” And the look on his face shows that he knows she is right. Also, I have noticed that many ppl who say they are happy without a relationship are Very afraid of genuine int

  405.  #405Lucy on February 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

    very afraid of genuine intimacy and bc of that are more comfortable without a relationship.

  406.  #406Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 10:27 am

    RE 372 Winnie IMHO you came across intriguing and mysterious so of course it caught his attention. It was not boring.

    The thing that came to me reading your ending comments is that they like to lead yes but they also like to know that they are leading in the right direction. I have also read from another coach that guys depend on us to lead “in the relationship” because they don’t like making mistakes. Girls from prior relationships have taught them wrong lessons of how badly they will be treated when they make mistakes. As such we have to figure out how to lead without leading. It would feel fun to eat Italian, on Tuesday or Wednesday. It is like giving options and allowing them to choose from the options is my understanding. He asked “what day would you like to see me” you said “I am letting you decide”. As an outsider it seems you might not be “liking” to see him and “letting him decide” or your availability seems to be communicating that you are waiting around for him and everyday you are available at his beck and call. Seems like a contradiction and you know guys love to pick at our logic. You also agreed for him to call you the day of the date. What if something happens and he has to cancel within an hour, how do you think you will feel? Do you think repeating his questions would help you with the answers? It is usually hard to get things right in the moment.

    It seems he was leading you with the questions so I am wondering if he wanted you to give him choices? I am wondering if for next time it could work if you give choices for one question and then for the next question you say “It would make me happy if the big man decides”.

  407.  #407Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 10:43 am

    RE 376 Boomer I am not convinced that “you should not have entertained” the conversation. That might be his processing incorporating you or someone in his life. It might have been him testing your suitability by checking your values. I am not personally resistant to such conversations because I want them to feel safe to be themselves around me. What I want aware to be of is what I do with that information after. When such conversations are over I don’t want to focus on it to plan my life around it or to bring it up in a later conversation. For me he must be the one driving it as it is the imaginary relationship. My reasoning is that we all create things in our minds before we create it in the real world. He can focus on that while I continue to focus on my fabulous life in the present, until he actuall steps up. Just my thoughts…..

  408.  #408femenrgylove on February 24, 2011 at 11:00 am

    i feel i need a hug from you guys 🙁

  409.  #409Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 11:03 am

    Bob Grant

    Featured Topic: More Secrets You Don’t Know About Men

    1) When I’m upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say it is more important than what you say.

    Most women focus on the content of a conversation when they’re upset. Not Men. While they do pay attention to what you’re saying, how you say it is more important. When you are in a disagreement you can yell, scream, or whatever…but don’t expect any results. He can’t hear you when it’s too intense.
    He may well deserve to be yelled at and if he does, then go for it. Just remember, the greater the amount of emotion a man feels, the more sensitive he is to your tone.

    2) I don’t always know how I feel. That’s why I don’t tell you.

    Men have an ability that most women don’t understand: we can shut off our feelings pretty
    easily. In fact, most of the time we aren’t feeling anything. It takes a lot of effort for a man to “feel.” If you want to know what a man is feeling, ask him this question instead, “What do you think about __________?” You won’t get an emotional answer like you’d receive from one of your girlfriends, but it’s
    easier for him to begin sharing his thoughts rather than start revealing his feelings.

    3) If I do one thing and say something contradictory, go with my actions. That will always tell you what’s in my heart.

    I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but it’s true..words simply don’t mean as much to men as they do women. The reason is that men tend to say what they believe…in the moment. Since men don’t feel often they are very susceptible when they do feel. If they are feeling romantic at the moment, they may make a promise that they sincerely believe. However, they may not keep that promise once that romantic feeling fades away. It isn’t right and it certainly isn’t mature to do this, but that’s what men do. It is when a man consistently does these things that a woman should trust his intentions. It isn’t as important that a man says wonderful things as it is when his actions align with what he says.

    4) I don’t like to argue because…

    Men don’t like to argue – really. The reason is that a disagreement can lead to a conflict. For men, a conflict is a battle that you must win. As a woman, you don’t want to get into a battle with a man for because he’s got a lot more testosterone than you do. He’s wired/designed for combat and when you argue with him he’s seeing you as a man. He doesn’t want to nurture or protect you but he feels like you’re acting in a competitive way and he assumes you are challenging him. What you want to cultivate in your man is the understanding that you can discuss anything with him, as long as it doesn’t feel competitive. This mean you’ll need to train him to cherish you…even when he’s upset with you.

    5) I don’t need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you.

    There is one thing men crave above everything else and it’s power. Men need, want, and will do anything to feel powerful. For this reason, a man’s self esteem is built up by 2 things:

    What he accomplishes and What he overcomes.

    Men’s self worth is closely related to what they accomplish. This is the main reason why a man losing his job is often harder emotionally for him than it would be for a woman. His identity is measured by what he makes, produces and achieves in his career. In addition, when men overcome a problem, it makes them feel empowered. Every problem that a man fixes (or conquers) is a way for him to prove to himself that he’s strong, smart, and
    tough. This is why the most important thing a woman can do when she sees her man struggling isn’t to help him fix his problem. Her good intentions will often be interpreted by him in this way, “Oh, so you don’t think I can fix this on my own?” What is better is for her to say this, “I don’t know how you’ll solve this, but I know you will. I’ve seen you figure out things before and I trust in your ability.” Now, I’d never suggest that a man say that to a woman, but if a man hears the woman he loves
    say such a thing his mind will begin racing with these thoughts: “Wow, she really thinks I can do this.” “Maybe I can.” “Actually I know I can, because I can’t disappoint her.” Try it the next time he has a problem that seems overwhelming to him.

  410.  #410tinque on February 24, 2011 at 11:05 am

    femenrgylove – hugs, hugs, HUGS……..


  411.  #411Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 11:14 am

    femenrgylove – Hugs to you. Did you read 412?

  412.  #412Prairie Girl on February 24, 2011 at 11:16 am

    #386 Boomer

    You know in reading what your friend said I kept thinking of the water wheel tool RR talks about when reading that.. That what he’s talking about needing would be met by “trickling” back to him…appreciation, or affection returned when given…I’ve been trying to use FM where I would have been “grateful” for the attention/affection in the past… instead of saying oh thank you for calling…I say I feel so good when I hear your voice…I know it has a “you” but I haven’t perfected it yet…lol

    LawmanCB keeps talking about being moved by how “into him” a woman is… he wants contact throughout the day.. BUT… he is also truly stupefied about why he can’t get me out of his head, even when having sex w/a beautiful younger woman… why he feels special when talking to me…why he feels connected to me… someone he’s never met…I think it’s the tools..

    He wanted to marry a girl he met online from the other side of the country… the first year they dated she came to see him 13 times in 12 months and he never went to her once… He’s completely used to women coming to him… and says/thinks he likes it…

    Oh but he’s coming to see me next week…At least that’s the plan… it drives him crazy that he’s willing to do it…

    I feel scared…
    scared it won’t work out… be what I think/hope it is…
    scared it will… MOST scared about that… I mean really? Seriously? Get what you want? It’s amazing how scary THAT is…
    IDK how it would/could work out… one of us would have to move…but as he says we don’t have to know any of that today….
    So for today…I feel nice w/hours and hours of phone calls…and texts and stuff…
    And I keep writing to all the other boys… the ones that bore me and make me want to poke myself in the eye while talking to them….
    And I’m thankful that for today.. .I feel peaceful…and warm… and sometimes even juicy…
    And that his voice and words can make my body hum…cause that’s never happened before and maybe that means I’m opening up.. getting ready to let someone be my man… that I will be able to stop overfunctioning…stop rowing/worrying… and receive…receive the “hum”….lol

    Aint it grand when the hormone’s swing back into place… I can at least see straight…


  413.  #413Darling Ella on February 24, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Femergylove: #417

    Here is a big warm hug to u 🙂

  414.  #414Luzydel on February 24, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Gosh I feel ashamed of myself. I’ve been acting needy. After feeling that he was distancing I sent a message saying….

    Me: I feel distance and I feel sad because I like you. I will take care of myself and let things be if they are meant to be.

    Him: I cannot respond to your calls or txt every time. Can you deal with that? If not then e should just be friends.

    I took a deep breath, I admit that his comment angered me but, I had to lean back and relax.

    Me: I guess I got used to reciving txt and calls constantly that I sense the lack of them as lack of interest. I feel unconfortable right now. I don’t like to feel needy that is not me. I don’t want to be a “friend” if we cannot continue what we started, then I rather leave it alone.

    Him: ok got you! We need to take it slow.

    Me: txt me when you can and if you want. I will keep myself busy. So i won’t require so much attention. I don’t now what else to say sorry.

    Him: it is ok. Its all good.

    Him: love, it is not all up to me, I am going through things and it has nothing to do with you. Please if I don’t call or txt is because I have things going on and not because I’m not interested.

    Me: I understant, I got things to take care also. We’ll talk later.

    So I hate needy me for going through this. I hate me now. I feel dumb, needy and inmature. I’m angry at me.

  415.  #415Brenda on February 24, 2011 at 11:33 am


    RE: #372 – Awesome turnaround!! I loved reading it! I think you experienced him to be somewhat resistant to leading because he isn’t accustomed to this approach from you. I went thru that shift with Ryan, too, as I started applying Rori’s principles.

    I laughed out loud when he asked if you’ve been drinking!

  416.  #416Brenda on February 24, 2011 at 11:39 am


    RE: #423 – I feel sad hearing you say you hate yourself right now. Can you riff about that and process your feelings? Can you give compassion to yourself?

    I understand your feelings, and I’ve had very similar conversations with Ryan in the past. I learned the hard way when I’m feeling disconnected from him the best feeling message is simply leaning back and saying nothing at all.

    For me, that is next to impossible! So I understand that feeling, too. When we lean back, it creates space in our vibe for him to come toward us.

    So I try to fill my time doing things I enjoy and that will further my life. Hang in there, and just let it go. I know it’s hard at times. Just keep giving love to the lil girl inside and everything will work out, in baby steps.

  417.  #417Femininewoman on February 24, 2011 at 11:50 am

    RE 423 Luzydel In an interview CD I got from Rori with her and CC he says it is okay to ask for what you want. As long as you understand that it is a special request that he “might” fulfill. If he chooses to do that and then falls off, then we begin to “demand” or make “harsh requests” it is no longer special for him. It is now an obligation and no longer an act of love. Another coach I have listened to, maybe Katherine Scott, says be prepared to ask for what you want again and again. I think Gay Hendricks also suggested something like that. There should be no expectation and he will eventually get it and be wanting to do it. Just do it each time as if it is the first time you are doing it. Also say it once, don’t repeat yourself.

    Men have MADD; male attention deficit disorder, they forget. Men are also forgiving. Lauren Frances says if you have to ask for something 3 times you strike out because they can no longer hear you. In each instance ask once.

  418.  #418Luzydel on February 24, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    I was harsh to myself. Cd is good for a superficial level, I have no feelings for the cd, so I’m in control. However when things get to the next level I feel scared. What if he is using me? What if I’m not good enough?
    Thoses are negative feelings that come to haunt me and I get defensive.

    Well see even though he suggested to be “friends”, when I said no he sort of backed out perhaps he’s not ready to let me go yet. I need to practice on leaning back. Now this is a different level, there is no restaurant and we are no longer strangers. I have to practice a different level of leaning back and FMs.

    Thanks for your feed back.

  419.  #419femenrgylove on February 24, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    thank you for the hugs 🙂
    crying made me feel better.i’m proud of myself that no matter how bad it gets and how horrible i feel i will not lean forward in any way.
    i went to visit my friend in my building to have a chat…and her boyfriend came over…..and i got these ‘okay you are the third wheel vibe’…so i left…but walking away from my phone helped.and i finally accepted that i am not exactly going to completely fall apart if he does not call.
    i’m going out into the city with some friends tomorrow night…and i have a feeling i will meet him.
    i’m growing in my self worth..and i love it.
    and i love you sirens
    hugs and smoooooooochies!

  420.  #420Winnie on February 24, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    415: Femininewoman says:

    “He asked “what day would you like to see me” you said “I am letting you decide”. As an outsider it seems you might not be “liking” to see him and “letting him decide” or your availability seems to be communicating that you are waiting around for him and everyday you are available at his beck and call.”

    Yes, as I was texting him, I thought that it could possibly be perceived that way, but he knows I’m usually hard to pin down on the weekends and this was for a mid week date. I also wanted him to have a bit of “ownership” of the date/place so maybe less likely to pull out. I was exaggerating the point a bit (me wanting him to make ALL the decisions) to have a bit of fun with it whilst still showing him I wanted him to lead.
    I also think he is realising that I’m getting a wee bit bored of just texting and rarely getting together and that if he cancels I might be about ready to move on. If he has a valid reason I’ll be cool with it. He is a good guy and considerate…just a bit hopeless leading the way!

  421.  #421Ella on February 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    Its so easy for me to always see things through a negative filter and not feel the love that people are sending me.

    Like just gloss over the positive stuff that is coming my way, and when a man is trying to take care of me, and instead feel pain and rejection instead!

    How so…

    Just goes to show how much our beliefs and patterns run us.

    I am working on shiftying and transforming this one!

  422.  #422Violet on February 24, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    RE… 251 Orna,

    Thank you for the lovely words! I felt validated by them.

    ‘W’ is coming over Friday for dinner. We’ve known each other for about a month and 1/2 and haven’t had physical intimacy.

    I’m going to lean back and go into feminine mode as much as possible.

    I tend to notice gestures and words that I may have taken for granted in past relationships. I reinforce ‘W’ by expressing appreciation for the positive.

    Reinforcing the positive sends a message that he is doing the right things. Doing this also empowers him to want to do it more.

    ‘W’ does have a bit of a temper and admits it. I’ve only experience it being directed at me one time.
    I wasn’t sure how to respond except to tell him it wasn’t my intention for him to get angry.

    Thing about that is… I’m not sure if I did the right thing. I didn’t force him to get angry. He made the decision to respond that way instead of giving the benefit of the doubt.

    It shouldn’t be my problem to solve. I’d appreciate suggestions on how to respond if this happens again.

    Or should I respond at all? I feel that this would be interpreted as dis-respect. Then again, I feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick for his decision to behave in this manner.

    I want to let him know in an appropriate manner that his anger is unacceptable behavior. I’m telling you right now… I hesitated in responding the way I normally would.

    I come right out and say what I think. I’d say, “It wasn’t my intention for you to be angry” Period. No apologies, no recrimination, no reading him ‘the riot act’. I get it off my chest and that’s that.

    It’s up to him to accept or reject what I say. I care about him, but I’m not going to let anyone treat me in such a manner. I don’t need negativity in my life.

    I won’t carry a grudge. I simply move on knowing that I deserve nothing but the best and won’t settle for anything less than that. By ‘settling’, I’m subconsciously telling myself that I don’t deserve better. I’ve done enough of that in my lifetime and it isn’t going to happen again.

    Thank you for reading this,

    ~ Violet ~

  423.  #423Diana on February 24, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    I like the part that says we are already perfect just the way we are.. its simple.. I dont have to self help myself to death and try to “fix” what I wish was different. I can just love it for its uniqueness and accept myself as enough today..

  424.  #424kaitlyn on February 24, 2011 at 5:59 pm


    Thank you.

  425.  #425Violet on February 24, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    RE: 433 Diana,

    I like what you said, Diana!

    **************************************************** I believe in reinforcing positive attitude by ‘self talk’ and by the knowledge that God loves me the way I am.


    As I stated previously, ‘W’ is coming over for dinner Friday. He called and said something to the effect ie… ‘if’ he remembers to. I’m pretty sure he was joking and I took it as such.

    I responded by saying that I wouldn’t have hard feelings towards him because life is too short for that.

    I also said that I’d miss him and that I wasn’t going to let the food go to good waste.

    Somehow, I think that wasn’t a ‘good’ way to respond. There’s a part of me that wants him to know that I’m okay with or without him.

    That may send the signal that I don’t care about him or our relationship. It seems that when I act like this, I get an immediate response of confirmation by him.

    I believe he sees my comments as a challenge to step up to the plate. It’s like he’s chasing after me. I like that feeling because I’ve done enough chasing to last me a lifetime.

    I’d appreciate constructive comments, suggestions, confirmation, and/or feedback if I am on the right track or could try doing things differently.

    Thank you for reading this and I hope to read from you soon,

    ~ Violet ~

  426.  #426Orna Walters on February 24, 2011 at 6:31 pm


    The anger thing was a BIG issue for me having been raised by a violent angry rage-o-holic father. The best way I have found is to communicate how I FEEL when a man gets angry either at me, or even around me.

    i.e. “I feel unsafe when you raise your voice. Would you please speak with me in a lower tone of voice?”

    Sometimes anger comes from not feeling heard, or the fear of not being heard. A great way to communicate when emotions are heated is to set up a conversation like this:

    “I feel unsafe when I hear/feel your anger. Can we please have a conversation to really clear the air? I’d like to set it up like this: one of us speak until we are complete and actually say ‘I’m done.’ Then the other speak until they say ‘I’m done.’ ”

    I always let Matthew go first – its a lean back thing. On average I talk a lot more than he does. . . so I like to give him the opportunity to go first.

    The key is to really LISTEN. When I’m really angry I sometimes find myself forming my response before he’s even done speaking. . . and that means I’m not really listening. So when I catch myself doing that, I focus on LISTENING to him. I simply take in what he has to say, how he feels, his point of view, etc. My goal is to be in the moment and simply listen.

    The great thing about INTIMACY is that it does not require agreement. When we want agreement that is an ego-based desire. Intimacy is a soul-based desire.

    This tool was essential at the beginning of our relationship. It laid the groundwork for so much great stuff to follow because it allowed us to communicate clearly and create intimacy.

    I hope this helps you. Please let me know how it works out for you and if you have any questions. You can email me directly at

    Love and Abundance,

  427.  #427Orna Walters on February 24, 2011 at 6:33 pm


    “I like the part that says we are already perfect just the way we are.. its simple.”

    Thank you.

    Its true. . . each of us PERFECT!

    Love to you!

  428.  #428Orna Walters on February 24, 2011 at 6:36 pm


    Thank you. <3

    Happy to hear this post resonated with you.

    Love and Abundance,

  429.  #429Orna Walters on February 24, 2011 at 6:43 pm


    I voted for you! <3

    Thank you for all you do!

    Love and Abundance,

  430.  #430Mercedes on February 25, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    “The lie of love that says we will never feel “this way” with anyone else. The lie of love that fears we can receive love in only this one way. The lie of love that says we can only have love with this one person.”

    I hope I never lose J…because this is EXACTLY how I feel. If anything ever happens to him or to us, I’ll be stuck in the past and miserable…and I’ll be right here asking for help.

    Thank you Rori (and friends) for being who you are and being here when we’re stuck.

    Much Love,

  431.  #431cateyes3 on February 25, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    Very good points and post! Love it!

    A little update on me… I haven’t been on here for the last few days so… Quickly, no word from main man (but it’s only been a week) and I’ve started CDing (yay me!). This is a HUGE step for me in that the idea was completely foreign to me.

    I’ve met with one guy this week (L) and he’s actually called or emailed me every day (I’ve been sick the last few days) and I’ve done a lot of just completely leaning back and the response has been wonderful… Thank you Rori! Going to be meeting a new guy (H) for brunch tomorrow morning… He called me tonight. 🙂

    Still missing main man big time but, I’m letting him do what he needs to do and helping myself.

    Onwards and upwards!

  432.  #432cateyes3 on February 25, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    Mercedes, I felt that way about my late husband and was “stuck” for about a year and a half after he passed.
    The last 2 years have been tough but, it can be done. Please don’t let that fear of loosing cripple what you have. I’m just now getting me feet wet in dating again (with 2 children on board as well).

    Like Rori says, you have to learn to function with or without him and I’ve had to do that. Enjoy every second that you’re together and don’t forget who you are as an individual.


  433.  #433Daria on February 25, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    “i feel unsafe when theres loud tones around me… ”

    “i want to hear what you have to say and feel safe… what do you think?”

    “i don’t wnat to feel put down … and i want to hear what you have to say… what do you think?”

  434.  #434Daria on February 25, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    cate eyes – hugs – that feels sad… you are very brave… to turn this deep sadness and keep it flowing to happiness

  435.  #435cateyes3 on February 26, 2011 at 6:21 am


    Thanks for the comment and for the hugs. 🙂 Life is very much like the ocean. Some days you have perfect waves and other days you don’t but, it keeps changing. 🙂

  436.  #436cateyes3 on February 26, 2011 at 10:14 am

    Met with CD #2 (I’ll call him H for now) and he came with a dozen roses! Total surprise for me. We actually talked for the first time yesterday and met for the first time today. Really nice guy and kinda nervous… We shall see where this goes. 🙂

    Now I need to get a CD#3… hummmmm. I know, I need to just lean back and let them come to me… 🙂 Leaned back a lot on this meet and greet thing today. I did physically lean forward once and he leaned back… funny!

  437.  #437Angel Lady on February 26, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Hi there ladies,

    I have been reading and reading all of your inputs in these blogs and I feel inspired by your honesty and openness. I would love to get involved as well.

    Shortly, I ended what I feel was a very toxic relationship for me a few weeks back. In reading so many posts, I am on the opposite side than many it seems. I am not having a problem getting attention of calls.. etc…

    I felt smothered and put down and not enough in the relationship. I defininitly operated from my masculine side because I didn’t trust him to do it. Could have all been in my head or not. I am digging through that. I do know I didn’t feel good about me in the relationship and felt I deserved much better treatment.

    He is pursuing like crazy and won’t take no for an answer. He acts like a 15 year old in his behaviors like showing up to my house when I have asked him for space, calling and texting so much, that I blocked his number so I could get space to myself. So… it’s weird to read how so many women are looking for attention from a man and I have one who tells me I am everything to him and would do anything to keep me in his life, and I don’t want it.

    And although, I feel better getting away from him, I still do miss him and wonder if we could have made it work. I am awaiting the Toxic Men program in hopes it will help me connect to my feelings more and learn how to set appropriate boundaries from the start with people.

    (sigh) That is all for now. Just thought I would jump in here with you all and stop sitting on the sidelines. I appreciate you all sharing yourself so freely, I learn much from your insights.

    Angel Lady

  438.  #438Femininewoman on February 26, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    Angel Lady and cateyes hope you noticed there were new articles. Also hope that you place your votes for the dating blog.

  439.  #439Femininewoman on February 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Angel Lady until you get your shipment I would recommend practicing with 11 above. Also read Lori’s comments on the recent article how she used it and the results she got. Happy that you are working on yourself.

  440.  #440cateyes3 on February 26, 2011 at 3:32 pm


    I did vote for this site… IT’S a wonderful place and very much needed. :0)

    Also, thanks for putting #11 in here and for the new article’s info. Will definitely be reading some tonight. Hope you are having an awesome, inspiring day and a wonderful week ahead of you….

  441.  #441LonePlum on February 26, 2011 at 3:57 pm

  442.  #442LonePlum on February 27, 2011 at 12:35 am


    What kind of link is that? Is it a virus?


  443.  #443Femininewoman on February 28, 2011 at 10:37 am

    cateyes3 You have been silent for a while. Are you still there.

  444.  #444Lisa on February 28, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    I finally signed up for a dating website. I always look for younger men when I have done a dating site so this time I am trying a cougar site. If it sucks I am taking my profile off. Personally I hate the dating websites. So much competition and I never felt I was what someone was looking for. : (

  445.  #445breia on March 5, 2011 at 8:28 pm


  446.  #446Rori Raye on March 14, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    SS – I love Arielle and Debbie – but I don’t like this “vent.” — it’s just – to me – about energy. You start with the negative, you move through it to other thoughts and feelings, you love even your negative feelings, things morph, you go round about until another negative feeling emerges, you work with that one….that’s more what I like to do and suggest. Inundating yourself with just either “negative” or “positive” thoughts seems like way too much thinking, way too much “in a box” – I like movement. I like to feel things move around in me and through me…Love, Rori

  447.  #447Ian on March 25, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    I found some interesting statistics about the relationship between pornography and divorce.

    – The Internet was a significant factor in 2 out of 3 divorces (Am. Academy of
    Matrimonial Lawyers in 2003 –
    – Pornography use was correlated with an increase in infidelity of more than 300%. (Other factors may have also contributed to the infidelity, but it was a factor.)
    – 56% of divorces involved one party having an obsessive interest in porn.
    I just learned about this new software –
    For couples that are trying to work together, do you think this could be helpful?