Don’t Give Up On Love And Relationship!

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I’m writing to tell you to not give up on your dream of having the man and the relationship you truly want and so deserve.

No matter what.

Every woman I talk to thinks there’s something wrong with her and that it’s “too late.”

And I’m here to tell you that’s just not true.  That’s just a load of crap a bunch of people who don’t know ANYTHING tell us every single day on television and in the news.

Here’s a letter from Helene:

“Rori, I don’t want to do this anymore…I am tired of trying….when I did not try for 26 years no one was there and when I try now…only losers are there.  I am too old….50… and no one ever looked at me till I shoved at them.

For 50 years I cultivated myself…took art and music lessons, got a Bachelors degree, became successful in my job…got my own car, house, vacations….BUT NEVER ANYONE TO SHARE IT WITH!!!! Everything I have read, prayed for and tried these last 3 years has not worked.

I am working too hard in my current relationship, and when I tried the Lean Back, he said ‘…fine we will not see each other if you don’t do the work.’ He said he ‘never had to work in the past to get or keep a woman, he will not start now.’ So it is him or no one….I guess it is no one. If I did not attract anyone when I was young and better looking what do I expect now at age 50? Helene”

***Here’s my answer:

1.  It’s not too late – I work with women in their 60’s and even 70’s who are finding great men (and I mean a LOT of them) and getting into committed, fulfilling, satisfying relationships

   Your ATTITUDE and DECISION that it’s too late is an EASY way for you to not take responsibility for YOUR part in LEARNING HOW to get and keep the love you want.

   I started my work because I knew first hand how hard it is to get the help and information you need.

   All of us women have been taught the WRONG way to go about relating to men, and so many of us have had so many horrible experiences in our lives we’ve been almost “trained” to believe that “this pain is all there is.”

   So many of us even confuse pain with love – because pain is all we know.

   And as I found out – pain is only a part of “The Soup” of emotions and of life that you can learn to USE to GET YOU to LOVE.

2.  The Leanback is only one tiny little Tool in the Rori Raye method.  It’s only part of Step 1 and 2 of the 7 Steps to Triggering His Lifelong Commitment that I pull apart and teach you in my Commitment Blueprint program.

   The HUGE, IMPORTANT part that you’re missing entirely here is “The Invitation” part (it’s Step 3 in the Blueprint).

   The LeanBack alone can be totally cold if you don’t understand the whole picture of how a man works. Once you’ve stripped down all your Overfunctioning (as you started to do) it’s CRUCIAL that you quickly learn to OPEN UP to a man the MOMENT he starts coming toward you.

   This is about my Feeling Messages – and the Rori Raye Dance Position – which is all about WARMTH.

3.  Doing the LeanBack WORKED.  It smoked out a man who’s a total narcissist (all about himself ONLY) and has no idea how give-and-take work in a relationship.

   It’s not possible to say YES to a great man who is CAPABLE of doing a relationship until you start saying NO to the one’s who aren’t capable.

   This is huge for you.

So – Do This:

Either get any one of my programs (go to my Catalog page to look at and listen to them all – Each program touches on the basics that are in my essential starting place – my eBook) – or go back through my eLetters a far as you can to piece together the Strong on the Inside, Soft on the Outside Tools – They are about inner Strength and outer WARMTH.

I know this will help you.

Don’t give up!

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Diane on March 24, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    I can totally relate to Helene, as I too feel like giving up. I have tried over the last 4 years to make things right with my ex, tried various life coaches and spent alot of money. We started a very intimate relationship 18months ago only for him to now tell me that it was only sex and he is not ready to take a gamble at taking our relationship to the next level. This man as been in my life for 24 years and 4 children later, he doesn’t even want to be a dad to them anymore. I am now 41 and he is 47. I was slimmer 18months ago, which is why he wanted me as his sex buddy, but I fell in love with him allover again, for it to mean nothing to him. I am very hurt and feel that I will always be treated this way. The weight crept on and that is when he started to loose interest. I love him no matter what his faults why can men not see that we are the same women they fell in love with slim or big!!!

    I have wasted 24yrs of my life on this man, and feel totally useless and stupid for allowing this to happen.
    How to you learn to love again when you have loved someone for 24yrs to find out that it was all in vain?

  2.  #2Rori Raye on March 25, 2009 at 9:34 am

    Diane, Welcome, and I’m so sorry to feel your pain, and hope this blog will help you see it as an opportunity to get away from this relationship and into one that will fulfill you and make you happy.

    About the weight thing – you’re not going to like this. You are the same person to a man who loves you – thin or with weight gain. However, that doesn’t apply to “attraction.”

    For a man – losing attraction can be a very subtle thing. It can be deep emotional stuff that gets triggered, a basic fear of intimacy, a lack of closeness in the relationship, our inability to feel and sink into our feelings, so he can never get past a certain point of openness himself, and simple basic physical things – like no longer appealing to him visually.

    Some men LOVE a woman with curves, and some men feel “friendly” toward a woman with curves. Friendship does not make a romantic relationship. And everyone has a different internal engine around sex and romance.

    Your ex seems like a totally unworthy man all around if he’s not much of a father…look for someone who has the whole package.

    In the meantime – work on yourself, focus on yourself. You’ll have to decide about the extra weight. If you take good care of yourself and get to a weight you feel good about, a weight that looks and feels healthy, it will change your vibe and make you more attractive to more men. Along the way, you’ll find many, many, MANY men who actually DO love curves on a woman – respond to those.

    Love, Rori

  3.  #3Diane on March 25, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    Thank you Rori for replying to my message. I am trying to be very strong and can see that this is just not going to work. Unfortunately, No disrespect to you but I don’t feel that your programmes can make a difference to him anymore. But I do want your help I feel confident that you can help me to become a different person who can experience what it is to be loved and be appreciated by a man, as I clearly have never experienced that in the last 24 years. I am still willing and eagerly awaiting delivery of the Modern Siren programme and the Toxic Men to see what happens. I will keep you informed if that’s okay? Once again Thank You!! Diane

  4.  #4Karen on May 7, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    The man I met is a white South African whom I met in Iraq. I spent 6 months there on deployment as a cilvilian. He worked security. We have kept in touch since 2008 and he promised to see me again. We were to see each other to meet in Jordan in April and he transfered security companies and went to work in a very hot spot in Afghanistan. He cancelled going home to see family and the plans we made to meet. By the way I found out about another woman way before this transfer and our relationship really to be honest has not been the same. He knows I am very much in love with him. I buy him gifts and send them to him. I always give him encouraging words and have become too clingy. I asked him if I will ever have in my life and he said “I think so” ” you worry too much” – “It will be ok.” My self esteme is low right now. I have been married twice and a bad relationship and closed myself off to men until I moved to Texas from Utah. And now in love with a man that is miles and miles away. How do I maintain a relationship with this man – How do I get him to committ? I am doing and have been doing all the wrong things you speak of and I am going to order your program. But I must know now how to get his attention again. We communicate by Skype. I have called him several times and that does not work either. He does not call me and does not start the converstations on Skype. When on Yahoo it was the same thing. Although he contacted me to get on Skype and kept looking for me to connect. Oh what do I do. I am 62 years old still looking for true love. I do not look my age. He is 54 and very charming.

  5.  #5Rori Raye on May 8, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    Karen, Welcome – and the problem here is not “him” – it’s your old habits and patterns of doing things around men. You have to work FIRST at this low self-esteem and clingy thing – because that’s the ONLY way you can reconnect to this man. AND – would you please take a look at why you are pining so hard for this man who is logistically so complicated and difficult – when there are tons of men right around where you live – if you really open your eyes and your heart to them. Love, Rori

  6.  #6love and feelings on November 4, 2010 at 10:33 am

    very nice post, great work