If You Want Him Back, Here’s Help:

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The Question From Susan:

“Rori, help, please…I messed up with a great new man. I met him online, and it was an instant connection…he fell really hard for me really quickly.

He pursued me and spoiled me, we saw each other every day and within a week it was every night for 5 weeks. He’s a nice guy. A good man. He never said a bad word to me and adored me.

I felt scared from our 2nd date on and tried to sabotage it. I criticized, was mean, and resisted him

at every step. He still was a nice guy. I emasculated him and disrespected him. Still he was a nice guy.

He broke up with me after about two weeks because of the way I treated him. It lasted less than a day and he forgave me and gave me another chance.

Well, I continued to take him and his love for granted. Sabotaging things because I didn’t trust or accept how good he was to me.

Today he broke up with me again, I’m afraid for good, because I was leaning forward, and let my anxiety get the best of me…

Note From Rori: Getting Him Back isn’t about changing YOU (and certainly not about changing what you feel – even if what you feel is “anxious”) – it’s about changing the way you “Entertain” your many, gorgeous feelings, even all in one moment, and the way you learn to choose which of those many feelings you want to express to him and how you can best express it so he can hear you.

Because this “Entertaining” of our feelings and how we express them is SO crucial to a relationship (for me, it’s THE most crucial thing) – you now have a completely new, awesomely effective, 6-Step Rori Raye Tool you can learn, fast: The Feminine WANT.

And – 

The WANT Course is super special, because the cost is incredibly low, at only $777 for 6 full weeks of one-to-one Live Online Training, plus tons of exclusive materials and video Masterclasses (including my original WANT Masterclass, plus additional Video WANT Course Bonus Masterclasses with me, Natalina Love, Lylian Toscano and Sophia Shah) – and, most of all, because you’ll have full access and private coaching with the great WANT Course Directors and Coaches Sophia Shah and Isabel Darling.

To get this kind of specialized, private, live Training with tons of Video Training Programs, in a brand new Rori Raye revolutionary method that can change everything for you within weeks (or less) – you’d expect to be in a long-term, much more expensive program.

The $777 you’ll spend here, in The WANT Course, will last you your whole life, and work faster for you than anything you’ve ever heard of, anywhere.

You’ll not only learn the WANT Process, so you’ll be literally able to “coach yourself” in even tough moments and tough conversations – during the 6 weeks, you’ll be coached around your own, immediate situation to create a solving for you!

If “Getting Him Back” is what you want – we’ll work with you with that outcome in mind.

If re-kindling your relationship is your Desire, we’ll focus with you on that solution.

If you’re dating, and want to make Circular Dating feel awesome and be successful for what you Want, we’ll focus with you on getting everything you Want from every communication and date you engage in, resulting in the blossoming and satisfying relationship you Want…

In other words, we’ll tailor the 6-Steps to match your personality and communication style, and focus completely on what it is YOU Want, while teaching you how to continue using the WANT Process every day.

The Feminine WANT Process will quickly help you instinctively, intuitively, and successfully inspire a deep connection with every man you meet and date, and develop and maintain a deep connection with the man you’re already in relationship with.

The WANT 6-Step Process is so fast, you’ll be able to feel how quickly you access and stay in your Feminine Energy, and how easily you speak to a man about what you Want – and get the results you Want. Just go here to sign up, and we’ll get right back to you with details (your private sessions will all be scheduled for your time zone and convenience!)->

More From Susan: I feel terrible that I did this to him. He is everything I’ve been hoping for. Not my type. But we had the most fun and I was happier than I’d been in a really long time.

I know I screwed up. I don’t blame him for taking space or breaking up with me. The thing is I didn’t put my feelings first and I messed up the energy by leaning forward anytime he messaged me that he needed more time.

It scared me that he said he’s the kind of guy that when he’s done he’s done. He cuts off all communication and moves on.

He said he hadn’t felt the way he feels about me in over 17 years.

I did what you tell all your clients not to do when a guy pulls away. Mostly because I was an asshole to him.

Rori, I really like him as a person. I love him and he said he loved me.

Today I told him that I don’t want to break up and would love to see him tonight.

He replied a couple hours later: I can’t do that I don’t want this.

Sometimes he can be very feminine.

I replied: Okay. Throw my key away.

He replied: This is why we can’t be together.

I replied: I’m confused. I thought it would be easier for both of us to not have to see each other.

Then I apologized again and thanked him for being an amazing man.

He replied: Ok! Good luck!

Rori he’s shut down and treating me like he’s angry and doesn’t care.

I made the mistake of sending another message letting him know my heart will be open to him if he changes his mind and apologized once more.

I will stop now. I don’t want to do this anymore Rori. I don’t want to sabotage.

What can you recommend and do you think he will come back?

Thanks in advance, Susan

My Answer:

If you’d like to go further, faster, and learn how to turn your Wants into reality both at work – and in love – learn the Feminine WANT Process.Susan… in all of this, looking back, can you remember the moments when you were “mean” and “resistant”?

And, even this last time, when you were shut down and “mean”, and said, “OK throw the key away…” – can you remember being aware of that in the moment in any way?

Because what I’m seeing is not that leaning forward to apologize was a problem, but the whole anger, meanness, cruelty, disrespect and shutting down is what he meant when he said “I can’t do this…”

And – because I wasn’t there – It’s hard for me to tell if you were TRULY being “mean” and “disrespectful…” or if he is another of those highly sensitive, self-absorbed men who find “hurt” in everything we say or do that even touches on expressing our own feelings and needs or, worse, asking for something.

So – I’ll just go with what you say, and assume you are on the Anger Train, and that fixing that is where you need to go.

Start with learning what I call “The Catch” – which is all about becoming more and more aware of the moments just before “rough words” get said.

The time to fix things is right then – before the words are said – and once you learn to do that, and practice it, the result is absolutely magical!

And if you Catch yourself after the words are said, learn to say “…oh I am so sorry I could feel my self shutting down, and trying to take it out on you because I feel scared.” Every single time you accidentally let the words be said.

Until hopefully, quite quickly, you put your hand over your mouth before you let the words out.

And then you can just say “I can feel myself shutting down but I want to stay open to you…”

This is the process.

And this needs to be practiced. This is what Circular Dating, and all of this work is all about.

This needs to shift – you know that – and nothing can happen until you become aware, in the moment of what you are doing and saying.

Most men cannot tolerate even a repeated set of incidents in which they are belittled.

This man obviously could.

But neither of you were able to fix the core problem.

If you are simply looking back at everything that was upsetting to him you will see all the moments when you could’ve caught yourself and switched gears.

That is where you need to put your focus right now. Any man or any person you talk to this kind of mindful awareness is where you need to go.

From here, what I can sense is that the leaning forward you did did not put him off because you were leaning forward –  it put him off because it must’ve felt totally not genuine to him.

All he could remember was your belittling and not being able to think about him and how he might feel – but only about protecting yourself.

It must have felt to him as though you were just trying to get something from him – and that you were going to quickly began belittling him again.

This is where the work needs to happen. I can guarantee you that if this is coming out of your mouth towards someone else, this is how you are talking to and treating yourself. This is where this needs to start.

Susan, you can fix this… this is a very harsh place for you to be in, and it’s been going on a long time for you.

It’s time to stop protecting yourself, start noticing how a man might feel impacted by what you say and do, and learn to use Feeling Messages in a deeper way – expressing not what you “think” – but what you Want.

That’s the key, because it’s impossible to be harsh, to scare, disrespect or belittle anyone when you’re using Feeling Messages and expressing what you Want.

The WANT Course will teach you, in 6 weeks, how to literally change everything in your life you want to change. You’ll learn the 6-Step Rori Raye WANT Process, and as soon as you start working with it, you’ll see arguments dissolve, love come back, sex get really, really good, and your spirits lift all by themselves. Learn More here->

Love, Rori
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