Four Reasons Your Man Might Be Withdrawing

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1. It’s something that has nothing to do with you

It could be physical: he may feel sick, he may feel off, he may feel tired, he may feel down or depressed or have a stomachache. He may just need to pee!

It could be about work: he could’ve had a horrible day at the office, something about money that’s really terrible or scary or he’s worried about, he may fear for his job and his livelihood, a deal may have fallen through, his boss may have chewed him out, his employees may have let him down, anything…

2. Something you said or did triggered him.

He could be feeling wrong or bad or ineffective, or disrespected by something you said (yes, his interpretation! -Yet using feeling messages consistently will cut down on this misinterpretation almost completely…)

You may have said or done something that mentioned his personal issues of not feeling well physically and not doing well at work that made him feel worse.

We can easily do this by trying to nurture him, or help him, or fix the situation.

We can do this simply by giving suggestions – which makes him feel like we’re his mother (the answer to “where did his sexual interest go…”), or his teacher, or a business advisor – all making him feel completely unaccepted and disrespected

Any of this makes him think that you believe he is incapable of taking care of things.

Yes, I am completely aware of how frustrating it is when it’s so often the case that you actually DO know the answer! – yes, we women are smarter and more conscious, yes you likely do know a great idea for what would help him – and yet, voicing that in the wrong way (and sometimes in any way at all) can wreck your relationship dynamic.

This is completely confusing in a work situation.  And I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be.  There are ways to voice your opinions and ideas in a work situation that create an amazing relationship with everyone in the room and everyone you work with…especially men and masculine-energy women…and work is where you voice your ideas EVEN WHEN NO ONE HAS ASKED YOU TO!!!!

Still – there are ways that “work” at work, and ways that don’t.  You absolutely express yourself and your ideas, yet you never seem pushy when you use the Business Siren Protocols.

AND – it may seem different in a romantic relationship – but the same skills work at work AND in love.

Even one time of making a man feel wrong and disrespected and overrun is enough to throw him for a few days – but not enough to demolish a relationship.

Remember – men can turn around on a dime!

3. Sex

Yes, it is as important as some magazines tell you.

First – his pleasure: The thing is though, surprisingly, his pleasure is completely dependent on your pleasure! In other words, if you’re focusing on your skills, and taking really good care of him, and amazing him with your techniques – you’re going down the wrong path.

Instead, focus on your own pleasure. And that means learning new skills about how to be spontaneous and uninhibited, feel free, release tension, sink into your body, and discover exactly how you are best pleasured to orgasmic bliss.

And don’t let anybody tell you otherwise – this is a skill! These are skills you can learn.

It’s just a matter of turning our attention from him and his body to you and your body. Once you get the skills down, he will amazingly come along for the ride!

4. He doesn’t trust you because you lie to him.

Yes, we all lie.

We all say he’s handsome when he needs a shower.

We all say he’s smart when he says something that makes your teeth grind.

We all act like everything is OK when it’s not.

And we may think men are stupid – but they’re not.

He can feel in your vibration – your vibe – what’s really going on for you.

You may disguise it as expressing that you’re feeling down or depressed, but what he picks up is that he did something wrong.

Therefore, it’s really really crucial that you tell him the truth about what’s actually going on for you.

And you need to do it constantly.

So that he knows what to do to make things better!

A man is very sensitive…

Not necessarily sensitive to you… But sensitive to the way you make him feel. And the way you make him think about himself.

Truth telling is a skill, too.

It’s likely the scariest one in the Modern Siren method, because it involves finding out first what is true for you.

And we lie to ourselves before lie to anybody else.

Before you start wondering why he’s being a jerk and why he’s not calling and why he’s sort of standing back… Look at your own deeper self.

Are you hiding your anger? Are you trying to stuff down your disappointment? Are you trying to make lemonade out of lemons? Are you going along because you’re afraid not to?

Learning to find out what you feel, and then speaking what you feel is a skill.

And it doesn’t require years of therapy, it requires some really good coaching.

When you learn the skills – you can coach yourself!

And if you want to go really really fast: Work with a Rori Raye coach (or, up to 4 coaches!) on your own schedule, in The Siren Circle Private Coaching program – take a look at how Siren Circle works here (the amount of powerful, private coaching you’ll get, for such an affordable fee is amazing) -> 

Oh! Be sure to comment here – and I’ll answer you! If you’re new to the blog – your first comment will likely go to “Moderation,” where I’ll see it and welcome you – and Welcome!

If you’re a beloved “regular” – Yayy! – I’ll see your comments on the most recent post (this one for today) and try to stay current with my answers…

Let me know what you think of these four rather “fresh” points…Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Kintsugi on April 10, 2017 at 9:58 am

    Hi Rori!

    I’ve been following you and Dominique on and off for years, and I wanted to thank you for helping me through lots of hard times.

    I have some specific follow-up questions for this post. This has happened in my long-term relationship (that is also long-distance right now because I moved across the country for business school), and I wanted to know:

    1) What do I say to him when he starts coming back slowly? It feels good to hear from him, but also I feel guarded and disconnected from the withdrawal.
    2) Do I apologize for the blamey, attacky, making-him-wrong attitude that pushed him away?
    3) When is a good time to talk to him about what I GENUINELY feel and want/don’t want, that has nothing to do with him? Is it leaning forward to do it now?

    With love,

  2.  #2zeze on April 10, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Hello Rori,

    I have read your book and watched the Modern Siren program. I love the idea of circular date and began doing it already,
    when ı began watching Toxic Men, I was deeply moved. That s when I understood why I was attracted to depresssed and addictive men. And when I understood that I deserved better.
    There is a guy though that I dont know what I should do about. I see him every day. We have slept together one day and I was very in to him. He then told me that he was depressed because he was seperated (last year) from his girl friend with whom they had an 8 years relation. That s why even if he would like to, he couldnt keep seeing me.
    Now, we are friends. we see each other and flirt. For a while ı chased him, and asked to drink coffee with him for a couple of times. He sometimes messages me saying things like it s a lovely day. do ı need to say him that I feel disappointed, as you would recommend to say the truth with the feeling message. Or shall I just walk away?
    I really value your effort for making us more in tune with our feminine energy.