Free Coaching Teleclass – Marni Battista!

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I’m interviewing Marni Battista (I’ve seen her quoted here on the blog and I know she’s very, very popular  – I love her site and her whole concept) for my Monthly Interview Series (it’ll come out in the fall)

I wanted to let you  know about this free call she’s doing tomorrow night – Wednesday, July 13th at 5:30pm PST…  Here’s the link to get on the call:

Here are some of the things she’s going to give you solutions for:

>>>Are you still haunted by the one who got away, or the one who did you wrong? Leave the past behind – once and for all!

>>>Do you ever feel like you have to protect yourself from men, so that you never hurt like you have in the past? This may be the reason you haven’t been able to find a relationship yet.

>>>If you’ve been burned BADLY by an ex, can you ever truly get over it, or will it haunt you forever?

Find out what you can do to start dating fearlessly again on this FREE call with Marni Battista – July 13 at 5:30pm PST. Register now!

I really like Marni, I’ll get on the call myself and listen, and then we can talk about it here…

Love, Rori


Posted in


  1.  #1marina on July 12, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Goodnight dear Sirens
    xxx from Europe

  2.  #2Daria on July 12, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    feeling SO excited about goin to NY now

    found the guy i had a fling with there online and just got in touch with him

    felt a lil awkward that he got off the phone first kinda… ick.. i feel all sicky and humiliated about that…

    i love me anyway!

    feeling so excited

    tryna find the other guy from new york who was really into me…

    and i intend to have an even more amazing magical fun time than last time! woo hoo

  3.  #3kaitlyn on July 12, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    TINQUE, FW, LP, and all you lovelies,

    What will be easier for me to move forward past this Adam crap? 1) Deleting him from FB and blocking his ph#? Um, not like he’s contacted me recently anyway due to his new long distance love interest. I haven’t seen such sap on FB since Vermont’s Organic Maple Syrup friend requested me.

    2) Not deleting/blocking.

    I know that true moving fwd comes from within, but I’m worried that by not deleting/blcoking, he’ll think I’m waiting for him again like always. Or should I wait for him?

    Or by deleting/blocking, I’ll just look bitter and spiteful?

    Your thought?

  4.  #4kaitlyn on July 12, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    i mean thoughts

    meanwhile, time for some Stereolab.

  5.  #5kaitlyn on July 12, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    holy crap, i just caught up and see mel has an amazing opportunity in switzerland (yes! take it!) and daria gets to go to nyc (amazing veg restaurant on the uws, forget the name) and romania. i’ve been to her home country romania and loved it.

  6.  #6Mel on July 12, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    Not quite yet Kaitlyn… I have only applied at this point. But I am hoping and hoping! Cross your fingers for me!

    I even found an ad for a super cute apartment there… a girl can DREAM! 🙂

  7.  #7Mel on July 12, 2011 at 5:41 pm


    Not that I know anything about love /relationships…

    But I say do NOTHING. Don’t actively block him/delete him. But don’t wait for him either. Just be. Be you. Enjoy your life and know that you are great and funny and smart and unique and it doesn’t matter that some guy doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. 😉

  8.  #8Mel on July 12, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    It’s hard to make someone that means so much to you just “some guy” but that’s how I’m choosing to look at it right now. Because it feels better that way.

  9.  #9Daria on July 12, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    im feeling a lot calmer after feeling overwhelmed by excitement and then bawling out tears and got a hug from my mom

    and now i feel ready to pack

  10.  #10Mel on July 12, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    Have a great adventure Daria!

  11.  #11kaitlyn on July 12, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    I’ve decided to take no action; ie, I ain’t blocking him. It reeks of ‘crazy broad.’

  12.  #12Daria on July 12, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    thanks Mel!

    thats wassup Kaitlyn

  13.  #13Plum on July 12, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    Marni and Christian, my favorite! You bet I had already registered to the call 🙂


  14.  #14Plum on July 12, 2011 at 7:35 pm

  15.  #15DE on July 12, 2011 at 7:38 pm


    Oh my dear…here is my selfish fear…u gonna enjoy yourself so much in our home country that u will not want to return…not anytime soon…:(

    And that’s my selfish fear 🙁

    I was still hoping to have a one of a lifetime po*t smoking party with ya 😉 I am still a “virgin” in that respect…

    Warm hugs,

  16.  #16Plum on July 12, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    85 Gina

    *** we need to use our brains when we consume this stuff, which is as poisonous as the food and water that is immasculating men. ***

    I don’t know what her songs say, I am a free human being, I choose the television channels I watch, I chose the radio broadcasting I listen to and I buy only the music I like. And I have not chosen to listen to her yet.
    The young people around me are not interested either. I don’t know anybody who has given her their money.
    I suppose she can do what she does because free willing people chose to buy her stuff so she can keep doing the things they love.
    I choose to not give her my money and I wish her well. It takes all to make a world.

    I have “heard “ the name “lady gaga” a couple of times on television, I have seen the beginning of a clip, I felt immediately bored (by the music, not by the words, as I did not take time to even listen to the words) and I tuned to a different channel, so I really have NO idea what she sings and what you are speaking about.

    What attracts my attention in your post is that you seem to know the words she sings and you seem to know her clips and you seem to dislike them.
    Why do you inflict a musical torture to yourself?
    You say “we need to use our brain when we consume this stuff which is poisonous”
    Well, if you are allergic to her artistic world to the point you qualify it “poisonous”, why do you consume it? Don’t you have a remote control to your television or music set?
    There is abundance of musical styles over the world, why do you focus your interest on a singer you dislike? Would you be projecting on her? Or would you recognize a part of you in her art?


  17.  #17Plum on July 12, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    178: gina

    ***  I am not anti-gay, I just think that the “pro-gay” agenda is anti family and is a reason why we find dating so difficult nowadays. ***

    what is a pro-gay agenda? Can you explain, please?

    What do you mean by anti gay and pro gay?
    They are gay and that’s it, it is none of your business and I don’t see how you can be pro or against. There is no debate to have about it.
    May be when you say anti gay you mean “to forbid them to exist” and when you say pro gay you mean “to allow them to exist”.

    *** the “pro-gay” agenda is anti family***

    I really wish to understand what is the pro gay agenda, yet I don’t see how anything coming from a gay person or a video showing gay persons or books written for or by or about gay persons etc…. can work against the creation of the families and the happiness or the families.

    Families created within marriage are made of heterosexual parents who make babies.
    Nothing related to gay persons.
    I don’t see how gay persons can stop heterosexuals from marrying among themselves and from making babies.
    Some of these babies born from heterosexual parents and raised within a legal family, will blossom into gay persons.
    A family is a family.
    Gay people come from legal families too. Or did you think they grow in cauliflowers?

    Some of them create families too. Gay people can make babies outside the marriage and raise them outside the marriage.

    Same as married heterosexuals become divorced parents who raise their child outside of the marriage bound.
    Also, heterosexual men have sex with women they don’t want to hear from anymore, the woman can but kill her baby or raise him on her own. That makes more babies raised outside of the legal marriage and it is not caused by the gay persons.

    I don’t get the link you make between the heterosexuals who do not respect the marriage bound and gay persons.

    *** a reason why we find dating so difficult nowadays***

    On the contrary, I feel happy that less gay men feel forced to date women. It means more chances the man I will marry won’t be gay or bisexual.
    Not long ago the risk was huge because gay men and bisexuals would be scared to come out of the closet and they would get married with a woman and cheat on her secretly.
    I feel happy there is space for men to say clearly they are gay so they can be happy AND we don’t waste time dating them.


  18.  #18Plum on July 12, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    337: Senior Lady Vibe

    Sending help 🙂

    he he


  19.  #19Butterfly wings on July 12, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    My daughter likes Lady Gaga’s music and to be honest I don’t mind it either. In particular I like “born this way”. The lyrics are wonderful and based on (in my opinion) loving yourself because you’re perfect just the way you are. That is the kind of message kids (and grownups too!) need to hear!

    Yep I think she’s weird and I’m not fussed on her film clips, so I choose to just listen to and enjoy her music in the car (without focussing on what i don’t like) and I even sing along at times! 😀

  20.  #20Emerson on July 12, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    When I first heard Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way” I thought she was doing a cover of Madonna’s “Express yourself”

    Copy catter

  21.  #21Butterfly wings on July 12, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    Haha you could be right you know Emerson! Oh that’s bringing back some memories from long, long ago… Sigh…. 🙂

  22.  #22Island Girl on July 12, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    I agree with not blocking/deleting him. If you did, you would probably be waiting for some reaction from him and that isn’t good for you. 🙂
    About this fan he posting on FB with — it’s safe for him because it probably doesn’t mean anything to him. The same as it is usually easier to be relaxed with some guy you aren’t that interested in rather than someone you really like. Just my 2cents.

  23.  #23RiverGirl on July 13, 2011 at 2:03 am

    Hey everyone, especially mothers, I just came across this little gem. For those who don’t know Noni, she has been a much loved and respected host on an Australian children’s television show for decades. That makes this little clip even funnier…soooo unlike the Noni we know and love. Beware….very frequent use of the “F Bomb”

  24.  #24Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 2:10 am

    Hi Kaitlyn,

    How would you feel about hiding him from your news feed and avoiding his profile? That way you leave the door open for contact from him but your awareness is focused elsewhere.

  25.  #25Ladybug on July 13, 2011 at 2:16 am

    I love embracing my Crazy Broad! To say, “I’m done with you, bye-bye!” Then hit delete, block, trashbin, whatever. I’m too happy with life for troublesome people. There will be happy people coming along any moment.

  26.  #26Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 2:44 am

    Just jotting down thoughts/feelings address to R so I can work through them

    I feel uneasy that I am not part of the decision making process

    I feel insignificant to your plans

    I feel resentful that your decisions were made unilaterally after you expressed the wish to make these plans together

    I feel irritated that I was left in the dark to your true plans until now

    I feel regretful that I made choices based on misinformation

    I feel despair and abandonment when I think of leaving next month

    I feel angry that money takes priority to our being together

    I feel afraid of the lack of stability our future now holds

    I feel insecure and disillusioned that our relationship is not what I believed

    I feel concern that my feelings will push you away

    I feel compassion that you are doing your best and you’ve made the choices you feel are the best for both of us in the long term

    I feel compassion that you are scared too

    I feel compassion that you are making these decisions solely to start a new life with me and want to make it the most stable start possible

    I feel compassion that your desire to provide for me outweighs your feelings of loneliness

    I feel depressed and powerless

  27.  #27Butterfly Wings on July 13, 2011 at 2:56 am

    #23 Rivergirl: ROFL it doesn’t seem right her reading a book like that! 😀

  28.  #28Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 3:08 am

    Ugh I can’t express any of those yet. I feel too much urgency and expectation, they seem to be mostly nv’s. I am finding it next to impossible to come up with pure feeling messages and don’t wants. I’m trying to shift my attention elsewhere but it feels like burying my head in the sand. I want to share my feelings about this but maybe what I need to do is let go and detach myself from what’s happening with our relationship and just start my new life. Nv’s keep shouting in my head ‘that’s not good enough’. I need physical affection. I need hugs and kisses and touches to feel loved. I need more than phone calls for 5 months! I have a man who wants to marry me and follow me across the world and provide for me and my kids and give up his life and friends and family to create our happy ever after and it’s not good enough because its not how I pictured it. This is my problem! I want it my way. I don’t trust his way.

    I feel clingy and desperate. I don’t want my feelings of love and worthiness to be attached to outside sources! I can provide all the love, fun, support and comfort that I need. I am love. I need to focus my love on myself and stop seeking it from outside me.

    I am open to any comments, advice or suggestions that any sirens may have on all this.

  29.  #29marina on July 13, 2011 at 3:14 am

    Hello dear Sirens, hello world hello long todo list ( my inner boy is very happy to finally be allowed by me to do these things… he is jumping up and down with joy). I like what Flylady says: ‘Make it fun and it will get t done’. Leo Babauta just wrote an inspiring article on this too on So I turned on my stereo on 10 and will get going 🙂 I just took care of my body by eating 2 avocados, added a little salt and lemon juice. Used my neti pot to get rid of another sinusitus starting. also I used the vaginal shower to lower my pH. Daria, since you asked, the pills consist of Sodium Bicarbonate, Citric Acid, Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) Powder, Lactose and Ascorbic Acid. The pills are based upon bio-active plant extracts. For more info Have a safe trip to Romania and enjoy your stay there!!!
    XXX marina

  30.  #30Butterfly Wings on July 13, 2011 at 3:23 am

    Kyla, what a tough situation you’re in!

    Ok, reading some of those FM’s I put myself in a guy’s shoes and yeah I probably would have taken a few of them as accusations and of course a guy’s first reaction is to go into defensive mode when he’s being accused of something, as would anybody.

    But you are right with your second post where you say you can provide all of the fun, love, support and comfort you need. Yep things will be tough over there while you wait for him, but as you also say, he wants to marry you and is prepared to follow you across the world to do so. This must be scary for him too!

    My only suggestion might be to make the most of the next few months, because they’re the last few months you’ll have as a “single” girl. All too soon you’ll have him there taking up space, leaving the toilet seat up, snoring in your bed and making extra mess (isn’t that what guys do?? hehe)!!! 😉

    Everything will work out as it’s meant to.


  31.  #31marina on July 13, 2011 at 3:25 am

    PS Plum, I feel glad you enjoy watching the Robbins Madanes interventions too 🙂 Thnx for pasting the link for that one intervention, I had not seen it before and watching it made me finally understand how for example destructive behaviour like addictions to gambling etc (or in my case distraction time is a way to trying to escape the crazy eight of anger and depression. This vid taught me there is a 3rd way (upwards) to get out of it. It was the missing link for me and it is slowky starting to click. So thank you very much 🙂
    XXX marina

  32.  #32Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 3:30 am

    Thank you Butterfly Wings.

    I haven’t actually shared any of these feelings with him yet as, you are right, they are loaded with blame, expectation and judgements 🙁

    I like the idea of enjoying my single months, kind of, I do have lots of fun plans made and a new job that I am excited about.

  33.  #33Daria on July 13, 2011 at 3:44 am

    gettin rady to leave now…

    feeling sleepy

  34.  #34Butterfly Wings on July 13, 2011 at 3:45 am

    No problem Kyla. I do believe that there is ALWAYS a positive to every situation – if you look for it and focus on it! 🙂

    Oooo I loved the Tony Robbins videos too. I’m into that kind of stuff…! 😉

  35.  #35Lilybelle on July 13, 2011 at 3:45 am


    I feel pretty excited for you, Daria!!

    Big Hugs, Doll.

  36.  #36Butterfly Wings on July 13, 2011 at 3:55 am

    Oh wow! I’m watching the third video (I think it’s the third) here and he’s talking about being feminine vs masculine and how we’re happiest when we’re in our natural state. Cool! 🙂

  37.  #37Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 3:56 am

    Daria I hope you enjoy your trip I feel excited reading about it!

  38.  #38Daria on July 13, 2011 at 4:01 am

    working with the video loneplum posted:

    i was rejecting the part of me that wants status

    that wants to be approved and admired as part of society

    that wants to be responsible

    this feels uncomfortable to write

  39.  #39Daria on July 13, 2011 at 4:08 am

    the part of me that wants to be stable

    that wants to work it out build it up slowly piece by piece

    the part of me that wants structure

  40.  #40marina on July 13, 2011 at 4:19 am

    Hi Kyla, these must be very exciting and frightening times for you. I am not sure, but I think I sense a bit of ‘this is too good too be true, I can’ t believe we will succeed in the end, I want more reassurance before I can trust the outcome and before I trust him’ ( please correct me if I am wrong. Bc ghen again, I am trying to, but I can hardly imagine what you are feeling. I once dated an army guy and he would get sent to Iraq and Afghanistan many times. Every time for 3 months I would pray that would get home safe, alive not wounded, not traumatized. But for the rest, my life didn’t change much. Also I don’t have kids yet. In your life a lot of things are changing and there are a lot of uncertainties and responsibilities and somehow yoh also want to know and feel that your man is there for you, is close by you. Is there a way you can flip it? Can you turn your anxiety into excitement? Can you see this as a way for you to explore? Explore the new environment? Can you find ways to make this fun? To work on this with your man as a team? To get your kids on board with this as well ( I don’t know their age, but I am sure there are ways to get them involved)? Perhaps you could start a blog to share your experiences, to keep track of your achievements?
    Fof inspiration you could look to Flylady, Pam Young. Also ‘ Breakthrough’ with Tony Robbins is inspirational on dealing with difficult times as a team with your loved ones.
    I think you are very much in touch with your feelings and needs.
    I was wondering, are you familiair with Byron Katie and The Work? She asks 4 questions to investigate your thoughts. It sounds very simple, it is very simple and very powerful. Please see her website to see her work. I think I am going to do some ‘ judge your neighbour’ worksheets of The Work myself:-)
    Good luck and ((((hugs)))) marina

  41.  #41Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 4:35 am

    Wow thank you Marina.

    I think you hit it straight on the head, I want more reassurance. My kids are on board and we are having fun getting ready and looking for fun things to do and feel excited about. I would feel so much better if R was on board too and we were doing this as a team. That would feel great but he has already told me he can’t do that until he comes over and he is being very vague about that being in January. He’s completely focused here on his work and saving a particular sum of money.

    I’m going to look into your suggestions now, I’m not familiar with breakthrough or the work but I feel intrigued 🙂

  42.  #42Femininewoman on July 13, 2011 at 5:25 am

    kaitlyn I would not block him unless it was to help me to stop focussing on him or what he says. I have chosen to delete telephone numbers to prevent myself from instinctively calling to share anything. I have found I was prone to pick the phone up and dial when I have the number. Every once in a while I do look at facebook for updates but I notice I end up feeling awful after so the incidents have reduced.

    I also tend to agree with Island Girl on 22. I would take it as a test for my triggers to help me get over it. I would ask myself if he is so depressed and can attract a love interest I wonder what I could create for myself with all the work that I am doing on myself. Put all that energy into loving yourself.

  43.  #43Femininewoman on July 13, 2011 at 5:28 am

    Rori I like Marni too.

  44.  #44T-Girl on July 13, 2011 at 6:24 am

    Kaitlyn, I know you already decided that you weren’t going to delete or block him. I say that if you are ready to clear out the negative stuff from the past to be able to move on and and ready yourself to be open for your future, that is when you can delete him. I think the blocking is unnecessary though because that is trying to send a message which is the same as expecting an outcome.

  45.  #45Femininewoman on July 13, 2011 at 6:44 am

    DON’T be honest when you’re in love with him — and he’s not! Here’s the most common situation of all
    — when you’re madly in love with him, but he isn’t (or you’re not sure if he is) in love with you.

    Sadly, many of us think that simply coming clean — telling him that we love him — is the best way to find out. Well, it’s the best way for SOMETHING, all right. It’s the best way to SCARE him away!

    DON’T be honest when you dislike certain petty things about him! When I say petty things, I’m talking about the funny way he walks, the way he dresses, or when he didn’t hear what you said. Believe me, these are LITTLE THINGS — even if they CAN be infuriatingly annoying!

    So resist the urge to snap at him, lash out at him, or even just point out these little things. It makes him feel
    uncomfortable, and — guess what –it’ll only reinforce the behavior.

    Here’s my advice — save your temper and your words when he does something REALLY bad, like cheating, drinking too much, taking drugs, and such.

    But when he’s just being his goofy little self — let it slide!

    Want to know the RIGHT way to be honest?

    Don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying that honesty isn’t important in a relationship. It’s VERY important.
    But many of us make the mistake of thinking that honesty is honesty, no matter what form it takes. Here’s the thing — honesty can be good or bad,
    depending on how you use it! You can be painfully honest, you can be brutally honest, or you can be GENTLY honest.

    Naturally, I prefer to be GENTLY honest!

    It’s just a much kinder, gentler way to guide the relationship forward — without hurting his feelings and
    stepping on his toes. In fact, being gently honest is one of the BEST ways to get through to his heart — and open up his dormant feelings towards you.

    In short — being gently honest awakens the MAN in him!

    To the happiness you deserve,

    ~Alexandra Fox

  46.  #46motunrayo on July 13, 2011 at 6:50 am

    how do i know if my luv me the way i luv him

  47.  #47Femininewoman on July 13, 2011 at 6:51 am

    I like this from Rori

    The truth is that what you may think of as your “weakness” is actually the most CHARMING parts of YOU!

    These are the parts that will be MOST appealing to a man, and will be the crucial link to your deep emotional bond with him.

    And the parts of you that are angry and “bitchy” can FUEL your courage to learn to speak to a man in a direct and very emotional way that he can actually HEAR!

  48.  #48motunrayo on July 13, 2011 at 6:59 am

    i will i know if my partner luv me the way i luv him

  49.  #49marina on July 13, 2011 at 8:45 am

    Pfffff I feel soooo bored

  50.  #50marina on July 13, 2011 at 9:18 am

    🙂 thank you universe one of my buddies called me to ask me if I wanted to go climbing…he will come to pick me up.

  51.  #51Ladybug on July 13, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Oh, amen to #46 FW!

    Giving him all those feminine FMs got me steamrolled by his awesome masculine energy then set aside with misunderstandings between us while he got busy with his Man Business.

    I finally got bitchy and blunt, prepared to fix this with a hammer, let my Boy out to take care of it. WOW! What a response! He remedied the situation immediately, cleared our misunderstandings, stuffed my boy into my back pocket, loved my Girl to the surface and all over him. He showed me what his Man accomplished when not distracted by his Woman.

    I had to cancel all my CDs for the rest of the week!

  52.  #52Ella on July 13, 2011 at 10:04 am

    Hey Sirens,

    Guess what. I made a decision today…

    I am going to try something DIFFERENT for the next month and just see what happens.

    Here is what I am going to do…

    1) NO drugs at all.. nothing. Not even the odd puff from housemate’s spliff. Just going to try without and see how it feels.

    2) No drinking except for the few nights out I have got booked. And for those nights seriously moderate and monitor what I drink as I had started doing before. Max 5 small glasses of wine throughout the night and nothing on other nights.

    3) No men staying over casually. The ONLY exception here would be J because of the nature of that and because I feel ok about him…
    Instead I am going to give ‘traditional’ dating a real shot… and traditional dating only (well CD-ing).

    4) Keep eating healthily and keep bread to a minimum. This I am already doing and is working well for me.

    5) Choose only positive, supportive, loving thoughts wherever possible.

    6) Totally love myself and give myself loads and loads of love. Be gentle and supportive with myself. Be for me. Stay firmly on my horse, firmly on my bridge.

    I am going to give this all a try for 1 month and then just see how I feel and what has happened.

    It is a good time as I am a little broke atm and I am working 4 jobs now and so will be spending most of my time working… and blogging 🙂

    One of the jobs is some bar work at a University in a Castle with other young people… so I feel quite excited about this one.

    I know these are quite big changes, and if I slip up a little I intend to be gentle to myself.

    But I particularly want to stick to them…

    Call it a month of trying something new.

    Lets see what happens.


  53.  #53tinque on July 13, 2011 at 10:13 am

    kaitlyn – deleting/blocking just seems childish to me. maybe better to restrain yourself from checking up on him so much. go play elsewhere.


  54.  #54Ladybug on July 13, 2011 at 10:14 am

    I’m happy for you, Ella. Learn to love yourself an accept who you are. You are beautiful! We are here to support you through this.

    My best friends and I have a saying, If you don’t like what you’re doing, do something different! It so works for us.

  55.  #55tinque on July 13, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Kyla – Try breathing, relaxing, and sinking into what is instead of having expectations of something which may never be. You may find you like his way much better if you give him a chance.


  56.  #56Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 10:19 am


    I feel excited to hear how you feel after your month of changes. I feel inspired to make some new goals too 🙂

  57.  #57Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 10:25 am


    Thank you. I’m feeling unsettled. Some deep breathing might feel lovely and calming right now.


  58.  #58tinque on July 13, 2011 at 10:33 am

    Kyla – Really long, hot showers are hugely cleansing. Many women prefer baths, but I prefer the feeling of the hot water running off of my body and carrying the ick down the drain. Yummy smelling shower gels, lotion after is great, essential oils. Lavender is calming and soothing.


  59.  #59tinque on July 13, 2011 at 10:35 am

    Daria – I want to wish you a wonderfully fabulous trip.

    Sending love…


  60.  #60Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Mmmm that sounds really good.
    I’ll do that once I put the kids to bed in an hour 🙂

  61.  #61Femininewoman on July 13, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Ella this might be unwelcome but here goes. Nos. 1 and 2 seem like big changes to make in a short period of time.

  62.  #62Plum on July 13, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Has Daria flown off already?
    Spread your wings, look ahead, there is no limit.
    Bon Voyage!


  63.  #63Shar lean way back on July 13, 2011 at 11:42 am

    Kaitlyn, when I blocked my guys phone and email address, it made me feel powerful and mostly because I wasnt constantly wondering if he called or emailed because I wouldnt know if he had or not. Then when he couldnt get me, he somehow got around the email block. I still didnt answer. Then he text my sister to see if I was o.k.
    This was right after I discovered Rori. I did lean forward some at first because I was a newbie, but after the block no more contact until he made the big effort. It just made me feel powerful and prepared to move on.

  64.  #64Ladybug on July 13, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    I deleted Steve this morning. He was so needy, demanding and time consuming. He got bent out of shape when I told him he could not stay at my house if he came to visit in August. My Hayseed wouldn’t like that at all! I’ve never met Steve in person. Ick!

  65.  #65Plum on July 13, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Kyla 28

    Nothing more to say, you said it all 🙂

    There is no problem, things are evolving as should.
    You are making up a problem in your mind to get in touch with yourself.
    Stop it 🙂

    He probably said what you wanted at the beginning because he sincerely thought he was going to do things the way you wanted.
    It is the first time he has to plan to resign from a job and to plan to put enough money on the side not only to travel but to take care of a family in a strange land with no job and he does not know for how long without an income.
    The thing is it is the first time, so he did not know he was going to concentrate on his side and not let you in his side of the plan. He had no way to know, it is the first time he needs to do such plans; he is discovering the situation along with you.

    You have been living in your mind the 5 months separation ever since the first day you heard you were leaving. So that the 5 months are becoming a whole year. Lol
    Stop it 🙂
    Right now you are with him, enjoy, stay in the present;
    When you get there, it won’t be like you think it will. It will be much easier.
    You will be super excited and busy with too many things to do and too many people to speak with.
    You will adapt to the children new school
    you will adapt to your new job
    you will adapt to your night school
    You will laugh with and bath your little family
    You will fall dead tired in your bed.
    You will be in hold of your own life, not dependent at all of him, because you will know he is not around. It will make it easy to put him in a corner of your mind and to get in the driver seat once and for all.

    Your mind won’t process his absence the way it processes his absence right now;
    Your mind will be in a new state, processing new images, sounds, smell, actions to take, feelings and will not process him as being absent. It won’t hurt as you think it will.
    Another thing is the 5 months, once you are actually inside the 5 months laps of time, it will go very fast, nothing to do with this eternal agony you are making up in your mind, like eternal 5 months before they even start.

    In case you feel panic, you will date.
    You will accept to go to new colleagues’ parties or even accept a man’s invitation. You don’t have to tell R all details.
    Being taken care of during one evening, will boost your battery, it will work, you will see.
    From a detail to fix to another detail to fix, a year will have gone bye, you will be surprised how fast. He will be with you and the children, all settled in a new flat or you will be with a new lover.
    But alone, you won’t be.

    You are speaking of spending you ENTIRE life with this man and yet you are afraid of 5 months? It is a dust grain within you time life 🙂

    Stop projecting yourself alone in the future, it is the anticipation that causes pain. It does not fit any reality.
    Wait to be there and to start LIVING there for real.
    You will see it is not painful as you are anticipating. It is exciting 🙂


  66.  #66Kyla on July 13, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    Hi Plum,

    I’m getting ready for bed after taking the lovely hot shower Tinque had recommended and I am sitting here smiling to myself after reading your post. I feel amused with myself. I feel silly because I ‘know’ everything you said is true and that is how I had been feeling/thinking before. I let myself get all caught up in fear when I was given new information on Sunday. Thank you for the gentle shake back to reality, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I’m saving your response to re-read and help keep me focused. I feel very grateful for the time you took to share your insights with me. Thank you so much 🙂


  67.  #67kaitlyn on July 13, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    I can’t stop feeling like it’s my fault for losing Adam’s attraction because I didn’t stand up for my boundaries. Now this new chick he’s corresponding with- she’s probably compelling yet feisty. Just like how I used to be. When he was first attracted to me.

  68.  #68Starla on July 13, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    Uggggggh I need some positive attention.
    I’m so bored.

  69.  #69kaitlyn on July 13, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    I hate feeling like someone got one over on me, and worse, it’s my fault!

    yes, i am keeping busy, going to parties, talking to other guys, etc.

  70.  #70Starla on July 13, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    and my coworker said i handed him the bday card we’re passing around to sign, he would smack me in the face.

    WTF? I don’t want to be threatened with violence like that in the work place.

    SO I said so. And then he called me a drama queen.

  71.  #71Dorothea on July 13, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    kaitlyn, with time, you’ll be all better:) stupid heart ache:( I am in the same boat currently.

    I’m just givin it time.

  72.  #72Starla on July 13, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Wow I am having issues with split identities here heheeheh

  73.  #73marina on July 13, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    Wow Plum I love what you wrote to Kyla, so true and beautifully written.

    I just got back from climbing with male BFF. Told him I feel flattered he choose to talk to me abouy what is going on. We discussed a little more. I hope he will making up his mind real soon.

    I also told him it felt bad to hear he thinks I am as evil as he is, since I stopped it. I feel glad he understood.

  74.  #74Shar lean way back on July 13, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Kaitlyn, so be fiesty. Block him on one thing and see how that feels. If he doesnt email much block him there just to get a feel. I made the mistake of leaning forward more than one time. One time I text asking for help with something. He text back it was to soon for him to be friends. I text back I didnt want a friend I cared to much for that. Later I leaned forward again with email. He text saying he got my email he wished me happiness and I’m sorry this happened. After that is when I blocked him. About a month later is when he started trying to contact me. But I didnt know he was trying. Anyway, that’s what happened with me. My vibe changed once I said hey this is it. I’m not looking at my phone every 5 minutes to see if he’s texted and I’m not looking at email.

  75.  #75marina on July 13, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    Sorry for the bad grammar. I am currently writing on my phone. I just want to remember I want to be a Siren. Perhaps I can find a little mermaid. Which I can attach to a bracelet. Just a little reminder to get me back when I get into the overfunctioning leaning forward friend zone mode. Pffffff I do want to get out and it does feel fun to be a Siren and it does feel good but I have to unlearn a lot…. Babysteps 🙂

  76.  #76kaitlyn on July 13, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    Shar, I actually don’t have a temptation to contact him. It’s the overwhelming feeling that I was stupid enough to let him take advantage of me.

  77.  #77marina on July 13, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    Ella, I love your 1 months resolutions. I think you will have a big chance of succeeding if you make it fun and try to focus on the benefits and give yourself little inexpensive rewards. But those are just my thoughts. Hm, you inspired me to make my own 30 Day Challenge List 🙂 Thank you Ella!

    XXX Marina

  78.  #78alias girl on July 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm


    i just want to thank you so much for your passion and willingness to bravely speak up on your beliefs. i had a light bulb moment a few minutes ago and i feel splendid!

    this illuminati thing totally ties into your passion and wanting to help young woman be empowered and feel beautiful etc!!!!

    so it makes sense to me that you would be so passionate about it and have such an interest.

    yae to you gina.

    and i will stop here or else i will want to GIVE ADVICE. lol. which i have sworn off.

    oh, how will the world survive without my ADVICE?!!!! lol.

  79.  #79Lilybelle on July 13, 2011 at 3:40 pm



    I am a bracelet freak. And I was also looking for something to remind of how very far I have come and also to remind me to keep my heart open. I am not a “heart” kind of girl..meaning heart necklaces, earrings and such BUT about three weeks ago I was thinking like you were. And, I found this bracelet that is red braided string and in the center of it is a sterling silver heart. It reminds me daily, to keep my heart open.


  80.  #80kaitlyn on July 13, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Adam has put yet another ‘like’ on my fb. Crumbs.

  81.  #81FlowerChild77 on July 13, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    Ok…I’m really confused now. I totally believe that what Rori teaches works *if* we learn it and act on it. I also read another blog called ‘Baggage Reclaim’ ( and today’s post is about the overuse of the word “needy” and what it actually means vs. what unavailable men (also called ‘assclowns’–which makes me giggle every time I hear/read or think of it) think/say it means when we want to be treated better.

    The biggest thing I’ve learned from Rori is the difference between feminine and masculine energy and how very different our communication styles are. Also that being honest about our feelings (the important ones–not verbalizing every single thought we have) gets rid of the drama and helps men to be able to ‘hear’ us.

    Then I read Tinque’s blog (which really speaks to me, also) and hear about appreciating how men love us–even if it’s not the way we pictured it, etc. (Rori talks about this, too) and that many times when we feel/sense/interpret men ‘not’ loving us, it’s because we are thinking as though men think/act like we women do–and they don’t.

    Where is the line? What is the defining factor so we can tell the difference—–between us being ‘needy’ (ie:not appreciating what we have; not accepting the man for who he is/wanting him to change, etc.)—-and us realizing that the man is unavailable and/or an assclown?

    How does this work? It ‘seems’ like we can’t win. One side of the coin says we expect too much and don’t let him be himself–and the other side says, ‘Hey, the guy’s a loser. Throw him on the back of your horse and keep riding.’

    While I know it’s not true that ‘we can’t win either way’ I’m still very confused about how to figure out what’s what…

    Can you Sirens explain this to me? And I know that no one is ‘wrong’—Tinque, Rori and Natalie all know what they’re talking about. I just can’t take it all in and make proper sense out of it.

  82.  #82Ice Princess on July 13, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    LP thinks that words with friends counts as contact! He hung up on me yesterday because I wouldn’t come over last night.

  83.  #83kaitlyn on July 13, 2011 at 5:42 pm


    I’ve been wondering the SAME thing lately!!!! I side more with Tinque for baggagereclaim’s energy feels too harsh, masc to me, but STILL…

  84.  #84DE on July 13, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    If you block someone on FB…u will no longer be able to view their page when u unblock them because u also unfriend them…if their page is set to “friends only”…then the only way to view them again is by “adding them again…

  85.  #85AmazingMe on July 13, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    On call with Marni….SMOG great concept!

  86.  #86tinque on July 13, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Flowerchild – This is how you know the difference. When you are able to quiet your mind, let go of expectations, and really tune into what is there, you will either notice his way of loving you, eg. the way he looks at you or the way he briefly touches you as you sit together or the wine he brings you or the coffee he made for you just the way you like it or the entree he ordered sans whatever it is you don’t like or he checks your tires, brings home dinner or anything that shows he paying attention, TO YOU.

    If there is nothing there when you stop, look, and listen, then there is nothing there.


  87.  #87tinque on July 13, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    kaitlyn – Adam as low a place as he seems to be is still keeping you in his sights. Yes it’s crumbs, and maybe it really is only crumbs, or maybe this is all he has to give right now.


  88.  #88DE on July 13, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    FlowerChild #81:

    I feel intrigued by your post…a while back I asked myself the same…since I also read once in a while the baggage claim…

    At the time, I felt like u in the limbo…since the baggage claim had a tone that seemed familiar to what I had been used to…

    The more I understood and used Rori’s tools…the more I felt uncomfortable reading that blog, as in I was absorbing negative energy and that felt awful…

    U asked: “Where is the line? What is the defining factor so we can tell the difference—–between us being ‘needy’ (ie:not appreciating what we have; not accepting the man for who he is/wanting him to change, etc.)—-and us realizing that the man is unavailable and/or an assclown?”
    Great question…

    Well, first I define being “needy” a bit different…it’s not about changing someone…but about my needs not being met…if that is the case, the lack is within me…I need to recognize I lack giving myself the attention, compassion, love…so, because of it…I project the need and have the expectation that my man would fulfill these needs…and this does not have a good result…
    However, the examples in the parentheses u listed, made me create this question: How do I know when a man is a looser or when I am not giving him a slack?
    This question makes me think of the “inner wisdom”…the third eye…the sense of clarity and certainty for no apparent reason; the whispering inner voice…the just know it kind of feeling…It’s been said that this sense is directly connected to your heart…When we follow our intuitive guidance we are in harmony with the unseen workings of the world…synchronicities and connections happen…when we follow our inner wisdom, our decisions are followed by peace, a sense of lightness, a calm…there is no emotion or drama involved…

    Well, this is the explanation I gave myself…

    Warm hugs,

  89.  #89Femininewoman on July 13, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    RE 85 Did you have any aha moments Amazing Me.

  90.  #90AmazingMe on July 13, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    LOL..yes like the whole time…It is amazing when they talk about this pattern stuff we all do and it’s like dang she got it right…that is so me…So much love and respect to Rori and Marni both…I feel a lil better actually:)

  91.  #91Starla on July 13, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    I was on the call and it was really helpful for me:):)

  92.  #92AmazingMe on July 13, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    What I learned…oh ok..hmm I liked the getting into your feelings part. You have to really dig and get into you and your own patterns to see what it is that puts you in a relationship of a certain type. I likede the SMOGS concept…you feel sad..mad…ohhhmmmm(calm) glad(happy)or Scared! How do you feel, and you cannot say you don’t know dig deep and pick one. I pick scared, I don’t want to be hurt. Good stuff I hope I am allowed to share that here, wasn’t told not to!

  93.  #93Femininewoman on July 13, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    Unfortunately I missed most of the call. Was at a zumba class. I hope they put up a recording.

  94.  #94Starla on July 13, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    The whole thing about holding on to those good feelings you had with the man at first, and putting him on a pedestal in this way. i am grateful for the reminder that feeling loved, desired, etc. are not limited to just this one person.

  95.  #95AmazingMe on July 13, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    Yes Starla @94 I was excited to open myself up to this concept. It’s not who he is but how he made you feel. I like!

  96.  #96Emerson on July 13, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    Hi Ladies, I need some advice and scripting help please….

    I practiced my asking for help today! I was scared, but I did it…Part I did ok and partly I kinda blew it…I should have stayed silent longer….

    I said “I’m having a hard time getting my car repairs arranged. Can you help?”

    He asked “financially?”

    I replied that I’d appreciate whatever he could do to help me with it even if it’s just picking me up and giving a ride to work, etc….

    GAH I should have just nodded and taken a bite of food and kept quiet….

    He DID offer before to help me, financially, with the repairs.

    Now I think I “let him off the hook”,,,,he even mentioned after that dialogue that he got an unexpected IRS bill in the mail that he has to pay…

    So, I felt kinda like I slipped into my old ways of speaking/thinking of not accepting help and feeling like I am not worthy….instead of just keeping quiet and letting him help me.

    Ugh…so now what do I do? I sitll want him to help me financially, I really DO need the help…but as of now, all I have promised is a ride and maybe taking me out for breakfast. Gah!

  97.  #97Starla on July 13, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Hey…where IS everyone tonight?/

    You mean to tell me I just got a solid hour of work done on this computer because no one was here to distract me?


  98.  #98Emerson on July 13, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    I’d like to be vulnerable….part of it is I feel shame that I don’t have a few hundred dollars to fix my car. I really don’t right now! I’ve been dealing with a financial reorg of sorts, due to fewer hours at work and the economic climate at hand in my region….

    I feel vunerable and shameful admitting that I don’t have $$ for life’s essentials! Things will turn around soon because I may get a new job in the next 6 months, pretty likely….but that’s still a work in progress…and in the meantime…I am stretched kinda thin.

  99.  #99Emerson on July 13, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    Hi Starla! LOL I’m still awake! 🙂

  100.  #100Starla on July 13, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Hi Emerson!

    I can see how you got hung up on the asking for help thing! It happens to me all the time. I think once you’ve pushed away the thing you really want (ie cash) in an attempt to not look like you need or want that particular thing, there’s no turning back to ask for what you really wanted when he offers something else instead.

    In this case, which I find myself in sometimes because i have a hard time with the help thing, I just accept his new offer of help, and focus instead on what i can do for myself to tackle the issue i was hoping he’d help me with but isn’t currently.

    I used to struggle with letting go of the fact that he offered one thing and when i didn’t explicitly ask for it, he ‘back pedalled’ on his offer or whatever. I used to feel disappointment in these men, like they must have been lying when they originally offered X Y or Z, but since I refused to make it clear that’s what I wanted — or in some cases denied even needing it — from the start, determining their integrity was rendered an invalid endeavor.

    so as an alternative to all that futility, i just accept what ‘is’ here when this sort of thing happens, and go with it.

    also, i am not sure what to do with something i noticed — that sometimes our subconscious has the compulsion to not accept and receive offers like that, and therefore we act like we don’t want or need it when we actually do. And that can trigger your man’s subconscious drive to find a way out of helping you, or anyone that triggers uneasiness for that matter. Despite this weird game neither party is a bad person. i think being authentic from the start would prevent a (good) man from deciding he doesn’t want to step up the way he advertised previously.

    I have a long way to go with accepting help. I almost always push it away or get very very anxious and weird when i do accept it. It super freaks me out=/

  101.  #101Emerson on July 13, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    100 @ Starla, thank you, that really puts things in perspective. I think you are right on the mark with your observation about my sitch!!!

    I can totally relate to the way you explained it. One thing I noticed about myself during the conversation is my almost withdrawal of the request by giving him an alternative…because the feeling I got was fear!!!

    At least now I’m AWARE and NOTICING…even if it’s after teh fact! Baby steps! Anyway, instead of being silent and just sinking into the feeling of being scared, yes SCARED!! when I asked! I immediately remedied it but trying to almost undo the request!

    It’s ok, I love myself anyway and I love my clumsy attempts to ask for help! I agree there’s kinda no turning back, and I’ll accept what he has offered and be happy about it!! This guy actually HAS helped me financially before in the past…gah I blew it, but again, I am going to be gentle with myself.

    I feel good! Even though I feel scared!
    Thanks Starla!

    Instead of

  102.  #102Emerson on July 13, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    *Instead of…
    I don’t know how that got there LOL…darn computer 🙂

    See, I’m not perfect and it’s ok. 🙂

  103.  #103Starla on July 13, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    You are welcome. I feel optimistic for both of us when it comes to this thing.

    I am processing some other stuff about accepting help, like if it means i owe him something in some way aside from a thank you.

    Going to bed, good night!

  104.  #104Emerson on July 13, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    Ok I have to share something else something good!!!! Later, during the convo with my guy, I was just listening to him talk about misc….and I couldn’t think of anything to say back so I just said “Hmmmm..” neutrally and started doing the waterwheel!! I also did the “I’m all that” thought that my eyes are magnets and I am the air he breathes!!!

    And guess what!!! After we said goodbye and proceeded to our cars…he LITERALLY came back and chased after me and wanted to give me a hug, kiss, LOTS physical affection!!! I was shocked and amazed! It felt soo good!

    I’d been leaning back LITERALLY the entire time, and then doing the waterwheel thing…so wow!!!! And he told me he’s been missing me, and did I miss him too? Ugh! I was melting! I stayed feminine and soft…and just took it for what it was…trying not to get too excited and begin picking out our china or naming our future babies in my imagination. 🙂 LOL

    I also did the exercise to stay in the moment and think to myself: “I wonder where he got that hat, I wonder if he grew his hair out, I wonder this or that”

  105.  #105Emerson on July 13, 2011 at 11:42 pm

    Gah I miss Daria already! She’s the night owl on here usually!! 😉

  106.  #106English Woman on July 14, 2011 at 12:37 am

    All that talk about people being able to google you got me really worried, although I changed my name after moving back to the UK from Oz (yes it is still me :D), my email address and user name were quite public, so noooooowwwww I have a new email address and user name LOL!!! What a drama I caused in my own head 🙂

  107.  #107kaitlyn on July 14, 2011 at 1:34 am

    Tinque, FW, and all,

    Thanks for the insight. I feel icked out that he’s communicating with me at all now that he’s got his Eastern European love fest going on. Should I tell him that I feel creeped out being communicated with by guys who are involved? Or should I just ignore until he writes me?

    I’d like to say something because he needs to know this is inappropriate, right? I need it to look like I am high value and expressing my boundary in feminine, secure way.

    Or would I demonstrate higher value by saying nothing? Or would saying nothing make me look like a coward who can’t speak her mind?

  108.  #108Butterfly Wings on July 14, 2011 at 3:30 am

    I wouldn’t say anything to him till he contacts you Kaitlyn. Until then, I’d do my very best (I know it’s hard) to pretend he does not exist, and that includes not taking any notice of what he’s doing on FB!

    You’ve got a bit of “man crack” happening there. I only know that cos I’ve had it. It sucks! xxxxx

  109.  #109kaitlyn on July 14, 2011 at 3:33 am

    More like man heroin.

  110.  #110Butterfly Wings on July 14, 2011 at 3:42 am

    I hear ya. And it’s soooo bad for you and makes you miserable… The problem with me and my guy is that we work together, so I had to see him every single day!

    But now I have a new theory. If he’s not right there with me, then he does not exist, and I’ll just live my life as though he was never a part of it.

    It helps a lot to think that way… 🙂

  111.  #111marina on July 14, 2011 at 3:50 am

    I am sitting here at the public library wanted to use my laptop while working through Richard Bolles excellent jobhunters bible What color is your parachute. But my laptop seems to have a serious start up problem. Back to pen and paper. I am also suffering from man crack. S doesn’t call or visit me much any more since his family contacted me on his moneyproblems. I never met his brothers and mother before. I know it doesn’t mean anything to meet his family but to me it sure does mean something to not meet them. He told me he was going to get his problems solved and also pay me back. I think actions speak louder than words and I try to trust him. But I feel hurt that he seems to try to disappear or weazel out of my life right now.

    I am just reminded bc there are some men speaking Moroccan at thr library.

    I need to get out of this worrying but mostly sad state. Back on my horse getting up that bridge.

    I just noticed there is a cute guy sitting next to me and he gave me a beautiful smile when I asked if the had a coffeecorner here.

    I just wish things would be fun and normal again with S

  112.  #112Lilybelle on July 14, 2011 at 3:55 am

    I would seriously like to find a way to get past this huge block of FEAR I have in dating.

    And by dating, I mean CDing. Any concept that involves me and a man connecting one on one.

  113.  #113Lilybelle on July 14, 2011 at 3:55 am

    I would seriously like to find a way to get past this huge block of FEAR I have in dating.

    And by dating, I mean CDing. Any concept that involves me and a man connecting one on one. It has me stopped in my tracks.

  114.  #114Lilybelle on July 14, 2011 at 3:56 am

    Well, how bizarre is that double post?

  115.  #115Ice Princess on July 14, 2011 at 5:17 am

    I know what you mean Lilybelle. I feel like I am stuck too!

  116.  #116T-Girl on July 14, 2011 at 5:31 am

    Lilybelle, have you been listening to the Love on Purpose calls? I think they might help – especially the one last night. You can listen to the replays for 24 hrs. afterwards.

  117.  #117Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 5:36 am

    Good morning, world. I am thankful for my new soulmate ring with three clear stones in a golden band. The collection grows…


  118.  #118Femininewoman on July 14, 2011 at 5:40 am

    You think you are stuck. I have developed a habit of just shrugging my shoulder and say I don’t care. Maybe it is my age but life is too short not to enjoy it. All I have with me all the time is me so I tell myself “I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself”. I might be silly but I don’t care. I have been doing okay up till now and if nothing changes I will only be okay. I am learning to love me and be devoted to me. I might sound trite and I understand that our fears are very real to us and whilel I don’t want to minimize anyone else’s fear I refuse to allow my fear to paralyze me. I have always told myself that even if I am shaking I will allow it to propel me forward while I am shaking. I ask myself who is this man before? They have their own fears too. I might be outside my comfort zone but if I was bold enough to do roller skating lessons I can be bold enough to take steps to make my life better. Just my thoughts…

  119.  #119Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 5:47 am

    @3: kaitlyn says:
    “…TINQUE, FW, LP, and all you lovelies,….”

    I’ll put myself in the “lovelies” category… 😀

    I’m late coming to this thread… but… I wouldn’t DO anything. No deleting or unfriending etc I’d put him on the back of my horse and start doing things for myself. Or since he’s rather slight, I gather, a little snack pack might do, tucked into a fab tote.

    I’d step aside and continue on with my life. The man is still on the planet; he sounds troubled to me but I do not want to play coach or shrink. I’d let him be and see if he offers anything in the future…. in the meanwhile I’d be concentrating on me (loving the bosom I alread have… 😉 ) and exploring what else life has to offer.



  120.  #120Femininewoman on July 14, 2011 at 5:50 am

    RE 107 What is he saying?

    Are most guys in your life involved?

    It is inappropriate for him to put “like” on your facebook?

    Are you saying you don’t want anything at all from him?

  121.  #121T-Girl on July 14, 2011 at 5:58 am

    118 FW

    Bravo….you have such a great attitude on life. Exactly where I want to be…and I will be someday. I am headed in that direction. Still having problems with totally loving myself and questioning if I’m good enough.

  122.  #122Femininewoman on July 14, 2011 at 6:00 am

    From previous thread

    My biggest message to all of you Goddesses is DO NOT SETTLE! You can have everything you want – everything that is in your true heart’s desire. The fact that you desire it, means it is possible for you to have it.

    I got everything I ever wanted and MORE in my marriage and in my life because I was never willing to settle for less.

    Love and Abundance,

  123.  #123Femininewoman on July 14, 2011 at 6:04 am

    RE 121 I do too T-Girl but I use my mind as a tool more and more now. This morning for instance I spent time reinforcing that in my mind.

  124.  #124Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 6:08 am

    @18: Plum says:
    “…337: Senior Lady Vibe
    Sending help
    he he

    Thanks and Yippee! Making vortex cannons. I’ve always wanted to know how to do that. That and tying off balls with bungee cords. Oh, I see those instructions are included too. Happy days!


  125.  #125Lilybelle on July 14, 2011 at 6:24 am

    116: I haven’t listened to these and I wish I was going to be able to listen to the one you posted but alas…I have school tonight. I wish it was a class for something fun and for my personal life but it is a Project Management class I need to get my next promotion.

    I don’t feel “stuck” . I just feel afraid. Afraid of totally opening up my heart…fear of chosing wrong again…fear of NOT ever having the relationship I desire…Fear of really stepping into it…Just fear.

  126.  #126Femininewoman on July 14, 2011 at 6:29 am
    From Tinque
    Does it help to know that your fears likely originated within as a child, when you were a small precious little girl?
    You can heal your little girl inside by feeling these fears of yours so you can then access her, be with her. So you can become her friend and ally. So you can hug on her and love her, wipe away her tears when she feels sad or scared.
    You heal her by knowing she will never “grow up” and loving this. She’s as much a part of you as the outside evolving, maturing, and maybe sometimes wise you. You heal her by incorporating her as a part of you, not a separate part, a part of the whole beautiful being who is you.

    All of these pieces are you, and if you can embrace fear as being an important piece of you too and really allowing it, the end result is that you will feel better, more whole, more wholly you. YOU have made room for your fears to move through you. They are not something to fight but something to feel, so they can then dissolve or mostly so. The resistance to fear perpetuates it. Release resistance, and YOU can flow, as your fears flow out of you.
    YOU gorgeous YOU, a being who acknowledges and embraces her fears.

  127.  #127Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 6:33 am

    @75: marina says:
    “… Perhaps I can find a little mermaid. Which I can attach to a bracelet. Just a little reminder to get me back when I get into the overfunctioning leaning forward friend zone mode….”

    I went looking and saw this. Very cute and inexpensive. Below is not an affiliate link but I think now I might want to sell something “mermaid-y” so thanks for the idea!


  128.  #128Femininewoman on July 14, 2011 at 6:40 am

    This is something I try to do also with other feelings

    “Look under the anger and hurt feelings. What other feelings are you covering over with your anger and hurt? Tune into your heart. What do you feel in your heart?”
    “……I feel sad. And helpless. I hate feeling helpless. And my heart hurts.”
    “Yes, that is heartache. You feel heartache. And this is a very painful feeling, so you are covering it up with your anger. Right now, put your hands over your heart, breathing into your heart. Open to your Guidance, inviting in compassion for your heartache. Be very gentle, tender, and kind with yourself. Take a minute to do this…..Now what are you feeling?”
    “I feel lighter.”
    “Great. So here is what I suggest you practice. Instead of explaining and defending next time your husband attacks you and blames you, put your hand on your heart and say, ‘Your attacking energy is hurting my heart, so I’m going to go into the other room. I’d be happy to talk about it when you are ready to be open and caring.’ Then disengage and take a few minutes to bring compassion into your heart. Don’t discuss the issue until both of you are open to learning. Are you willing to try this?”

  129.  #129Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 6:40 am

    @81: FlowerChild77 says:
    “…Can you Sirens explain this to me? And I know that no one is ‘wrong’—Tinque, Rori and Natalie all know what they’re talking about. I just can’t take it all in and make proper sense out of it…”

    My concern is whether or not a particular man meets my needs not whether he meets the needs of most other women. No, I would not deny my own needs in order to decide if a man is “available.” If he isn’t available for me it doesn’t matter who else he might be just right for….


  130.  #130Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 6:47 am

    @106: English Woman

    Hello, Mata Hari…


  131.  #131Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 6:54 am

    @107: kaitlyn says:
    “…I’d like to say something because he needs to know this is inappropriate, right?…”

    I don’t think inappropriate… he seems to be having some lighthearted fun with a woman (as I read what you described.) Even if it were more, he’s single, not engaged to be married, has not set up household with a woman, nor in an exclusive dating arrangement. And he’s said he doesn’t want to be a “boyfriend.”

    I think he looks more atttractive to you because he has “retreated” but this is only IMHO. I am sending hugs because attachment can be worse than “crack.”


  132.  #132Femininewoman on July 14, 2011 at 6:56 am

    Relationship Tip of the Week

    The Second Miracle – Move: Naming Energy Shifts


    In conversation with others, notice the shift of energy patterns as signaled by body language.

    There are specific things to watch and three zones to pay attention to: eyes, hands and mouth.

    At key moments, name the shift you’ve observed but never interpret.


    “Mary, I notice when I asked you if you could meet the deadline, your eyes blinked rapidly and your brow creased.

    I’m wondering what you were thinking.”

    This tip comes from Gay’s book, The Ten-Second Miracle

    Katie and Gay Hendricks

  133.  #133Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 7:01 am

    @111: marina says:
    “…I am sitting here at the public library wanted to use my laptop while working through Richard Bolles excellent jobhunters bible What color is your parachute…”

    I’m familiar with Richard Bolles, those books have been around for a long while. Very good. I also like Kate Wendleton’s books…. Excellent! Very resourceful! I don’t know if available where you are, see if your library has. She has web site too: Five O’clock club.


  134.  #134Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 7:05 am

    @112: Lilybelle says:
    “…I would seriously like to find a way to get past this huge block of FEAR I have in dating….”

    Does this have something to do with that klutzy man who made dumb remark about attractiveness? Are you the Meg Ryan girl? Ha! You can tell him, “ha!”


  135.  #135Senior Lady Vibe on July 14, 2011 at 7:08 am

    @118: Femininewoman says:
    “…Maybe it is my age but life is too short not to enjoy it. All I have with me all the time is me so I tell myself “I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself”…”

    You got that right!


  136.  #136Lilybelle on July 14, 2011 at 7:21 am

    134: doesn’t have anything to do with that icky dude. Btw, I never did respond to his lame attempt at communication. Why on earth would I grace him with my presence, even if by email. I’ve seen Rori use the work “Loser” when referring to icky men.

    I have to believe it is still left over, residual stuff from February’s heart break. I’ve come a long, LONG way but this last thing has me stumped.

    And yes, I am the Meg Ryan girl. 😉

  137.  #137Rusty on July 14, 2011 at 7:45 am

    New post is up. 😉

  138.  #138English Woman on July 14, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Hi Sirens, it is I who was once formerly living in Australia now moved back to the UK and came back on here with a very public email address and name just this week, then I got quite paranoid reading the Lady GaGa thread where people were talking about how people could look you up using these details, well what a drama I created in my own head LOL!!

    Soooooo here I am with a new RR name and a new gmail email address 😀

    Hoping to learn lots I have long forgotten from you Sirens as I plan on getting back into the game, I personally did not enjoy the Lady GaGa thread………..but that’s just me.

  139.  #139Orna Walters on July 14, 2011 at 2:06 pm


    Thank you for the re-post!

    Every evening through August 12th, M-F we host an Expert in Love, Intimacy, Sex, Dating – everything you need to create love on purpose!

    Join us – its FR*E

    Our mission is to bust the myth that love is supposed to happen by accident!

    Hope to see you join the re-evolution!

    Love and Abundance,

  140.  #140Orna Walters on July 14, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    Oh! I forgot to mention that Marni Battista will be LIVE with us on August 8th.

    Marni is AWESOME and we’re so excited to have her as one of our Love On Purpose Revolution Experts!

  141.  #141Rori Raye on July 14, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    I just did the interview with Marni – she totally rocks, the interview is amazing, you’ll love her….I’m getting her to visit here and join in the comments…Love, Rori

  142.  #142ginni on July 14, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Im confused why does my exboyfriend want to be in my life? We broke up 7 months ago, we were very much in love , his feelings sem to change when the excitment wore off. He said he wants to be alone, hes never been married and has trust isues. I was heart broken, well I pulled back completely and he started calling me, asking me to do work for him , asking me to come over? It was great to see him, and he was happy to see me, its been about 2 months now that we are talking everyday , he calls me everyday, everynite before he goes to sleep , when he gets into bed. He is always offering financial future together, he asks me to spend the weekends with him, and spend the nite at his house, but he has not touched me besides a hug and kiss on the cheek? Im very confused about this , I feeling undesirable and unwanted ? It doesnt make sense to me? I dont want to hurt him but I dont like this. Why is this happening and what do I do to change it. I an open to date and I go out when I can, but he is pulling me back in and I am confused? I don’t know how to go about asking him without seeming needy about wanting him? HELP what do you think is going on here? Do you think he just using me for company , but doesnt feel chemistry for me anymore? Why is he consistantly wanting me to work with him on our financial future? Hw offering to work and let me manage the money and office to offer me security which I need , he is not financially stable wither at the moment but wants to work together to get back on our feet? Does he want me or not?

  143.  #143sameeya on July 18, 2011 at 1:11 am

    hello. . em too worried . . i just want to tell u that i have a crush on a guy since four years and now 2 months back i managed to talk to him . . we share a good friendship . . we talked almost all day . . and when ever i asked him to meet me he is ready to meet .. cancelled out his other programs for meeting me. . he took me to the movie and pay my ticket too in return of this favour i made him sum pouches for his sisters who live in other country . . hes is out of country these days and before leaving too i asked me to meet me he was doing his shopping for his mother , i asked him to meet me cux i got some handmade stuff for his mother he said if i wont get anythng for my mother then i will meet u, in the end he got so many things for her but still he met me . . but now at this home country hes ignoring me . . he got online on facebook but do not reply to my messages and he do reply to them but after 12 or 15 days . . what should i do to get his interest. . he will come back here in september . . do reply me

    he live in jordan . . his whole family is there. . he is completing his graduation from our country

  144.  #144Brent ba2173 on July 24, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    My name is Brent here and I have an amputation of my left foot and I need help in my suite also I looking for a long term relationship girlfriend and I cant seem to find one and I have been looking for a long time so Will you PLEASE be my beautiful girlfriend my dear. PLEASE honey you can email me back at, as soon as possible.

  145.  #145English Woman on July 24, 2011 at 11:19 pm


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