FREE Teleclass Monday The 31st With Leigha Baker!

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leighabakerLeigha Baker – a great Rori Raye Certified Coach (and you know her, too, from her sweetness and smart advice here on the blog) – will be doing a FREE teleclass on Monday, March 31st…Here’s the info – http://leighabaker.com/bring-him-back-free-teleclass-march-31/ – and take advantage!

(Oh – and remember to sign up for her free “3 Secrets To Get Your Man Back” report so you can get some help and Tools in advance – it’s terrific…):

From Leigha Baker:

Here’s Your Invitation To Join Me On Monday March 31st at 6 PM PST – For A FREE One Hour “Bring Him Back” Teleclass!

“Learn How You Can Quickly Turn Your Relationship Around And Compel Him To Come Closer Than Ever.”

What if…you could stop a man – your man – from pulling away?

What if…you could easily and quickly draw your man so close he would want to be with you on every level, as deeply and as much as he could – no matter how things are feeling right now?

And what if you could do all this – while feeling secure, sitting back and not working at all to keep the relationship going?

When you join me, I’ll be covering the most important steps to take if you want to bring your man back (closer than ever) and rekindle the spark you once had.

Here’s just some of what you’ll learn… 

  • Discover exactly WHY your man has pulled away and withdrawn
  • Learn the quickest way to heal the relationship and reverse the damage – and the #1 reason stopping you from doing this already.
  • The most important shift you can do immediately to bring him closer than ever – without doing anything!!  And how women unconsciously and constantly talk themselves out of doing this.

My “Bring Him Back” Teleclass is where we’ll set the foundation to bring him back – Not study how to, not talk about, not explore why you haven’t yet – but simply DO it.

You won’t just be studying theory, or learning processes, or reviewing limiting beliefs. On the call, Bring Him Back, we’re here to DO it.  To practice what works!  We’ll shift your love vibe – which makes all the difference in your love life – it’s inevitable!

http://leighabaker.com/bring-him-back-free-teleclass-march-31/

Why does it work?

Because everything is energy, and we attract who we’re being.  When we shift our love vibe – our love life follows!  It’s how the Universe works. (It’s magical and inevitable once you know exactly what to do.) Working hard for love isn’t nearly as effective as allowing love to come to you.  Let’s do this together!

What we’ll do during the Bring Him Back Teleclass: we’ll be letting love in (instead of accidentally pushing it away) so your man can get as close as possible – you won’t just learn how to do it (and then hope to actually do it someday), we’re going to DO IT together. Right now.

Who’s it for?

Anyone who wants to bring their man back, or bring their man closer.  Whether you’re a newby to the Rori Raye Method or you’ve been practicing the Tools for awhile…the Tools work no matter what your experience and knowledge of how men and relationships really work.

Bringing your man back, closer than ever is my forte and I can’t wait to have you join me!

http://leighabaker.com/bring-him-back-free-teleclass-march-31/

Send me your most urgent questions and I’ll answer them on the call! (Just let me know if you want me to change your name.)

Love, Leigha

I’ll be listening live!

Love, Rori

 

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97 Comments

  1.  #1Helena Hart on March 28, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Yay Leigha!!! I’ll be listening in! 🙂

    Love, Helena



  2.  #2Mandy on March 28, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    Oh SWEET, just made an appointment and set my alarm for tomorrow!



  3.  #3Valarie O'Ryan on March 28, 2014 at 3:30 pm

    I know this will be great – I’ll be listening!



  4.  #4Cris on March 28, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    thanks!



  5.  #5Kyla on March 28, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    Wohoo! I’ll be there, Leigha! Sounds awesome!



  6.  #6Leigha Baker on March 28, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    Yayyy!!!! I’m so excited for this!!! Thank you for all the good vibes!! I personally want to invite everyone to join the call. 🙂

    Much Love, Leigha



  7.  #7Lisa on March 28, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    I’m crying for the first time about something that I’ve never believed before….. “it will be ok” you see I’ve never really believed that before… I’m so used to things not being ok, I’m used to heartbreak and sorrow and not enough … though as depressing as that all sounds… I still have been able to have joy and love and happiness.. but there was always this deeper saddness ( like Rori says find your saddness) and now that I’m working on myself so deeply now… I’m actually crying b/c I believe everything will be OK!!!

    It doesn’t sound like much I know but if you only knew how profound that is in my life… how big a deal it really is…

    I’m beginning to trust life… and that it will be ok…

    OXOXO



  8.  #8Kyla on March 28, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    (((Lisa))) That’s wonderful! Your words resonate so deeply with me. Learning that lesson was reality altering.



  9.  #9Helena Hart on March 28, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    Lisa – 7 – That’s a HUGE deal!! I think that’s amazing!

    Love, Helena



  10.  #10Lisa on March 28, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    Thanks Helena <3 Much love back to you!

    Thanks @Kyla that is awesome for you to say! <3

    and my work keeps coming….. tonight I got triggered again… "all I'm good for is sex" and I've done this many times and it is still there… it was ingrained in me… and what came up was earth shaking for me… my body was shaking actually…

    I shouldn't say NO to men…. and though I DO say no, when I'm in a relationship with a man I usually never say No to sex… and my mom taught me that…

    also what came up is "I have no value other than sex and at least I have that, if nothing else." Ok my wise part of me knows that is not so! I have lots and lots to offer a good man… men tell me I'm amazing.. ( I have to believe they are telling the truth) but if there is any part of me that believes that I have no value… and if that is all the value I have I have to hang on to it… I'll attract the wrong men or situations that I dont' want…

    So, my healing is very much peeling off in big layers every day now…

    I had to breathe deeply today, just to get through the moments of intense pain with these thoughts,, but I allowed them to be there and I didn't react or go into any avoiding ….. I just kept breathing deeply, and then the calm would come and peace …. until it happened again and I'd do it all over again… I'd look at a cloud, or I'd look into my child's eyes and bring myself back to me…

    I'm exhausted though… shew! it's hard work…

    XOXO



  11.  #11Luzydel on March 28, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    If he is pulling away… let him go. But do not allow him to stay at your door blocking your entrance. He is either in your life or he isn’t. Stop settling!!!

    http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/j1b-16-things-your-boyfriend-should-be-telling-you/



  12.  #12Turquoise on March 28, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    Thank you everyone for the support. Andrea, please don’t feel bad… I certainly wasn’t offended at all. Honestly, I did the same exact thing. I felt so blinded by my pain, I just got on the blog, didn’t even notice the title of the article, found the comment box and felt I had to share my sadness with those who had been on this journey with me. Sweetheart and I realized how important our friendship was, and not only maintained it, but talked, saw each other, laughed, confided,, he even had a candle party for me Sunday. I’m just shocked… And heartbroken. 26 years ago he kissed me under the pine trees in my front yard. We were kids… We lost touch young, and reconnected on Facebook years ago. Before he was sweetheart, he was Jason. The cute boy who I met through friends. Tonight I took food to his parents and cried with them. They told me I am part of their family. I promised I wasn’t going anywhere. It appears he died peacefully in his sleep. In my heart, I feel it was an overdose, possibly accidental, but depression had a grip on him. He went to therapy regularly, had been there that day actually. For his children, I hope it was natural causes. I just can’t believe it’s only been a day. This day… Feels like days. Monday is his memorial service, and it’s the first anniversary of my mothers death. I just don’t know how much more I can take. It’s so painful.



  13.  #13Emerson on March 28, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    Oh this is interesting ….
    I want to change my vibe …



  14.  #14Femininewoman on March 29, 2014 at 12:47 am

    Turquoise life can only get better now.



  15.  #15Cris on March 29, 2014 at 1:36 am

    ((((Turquoise))))



  16.  #16Mandy on March 29, 2014 at 10:30 am

    Lol, just had my call with Leigha…sorry Leigha, I was a bit nervous! 🙂

    I bet when J feels he has more space/less pressure, things will happen 🙂



  17.  #17Lisa on March 29, 2014 at 11:30 am

    @Turquoise I’m sending you lots of love and peace….

    My brother died the same way in his sleep age 42. No one knows if it was accidental or on purpose… almost the same story. My heart hurts for all of his loved ones…

    I feel for his family and children…. I’m wishing them peace also…
    <3 <3

    OXOXO



  18.  #18Helena Hart on March 29, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    Turquoise – 12 – I’m so sorry for your loss, lots of love to you.

    Love, Helena



  19.  #19Lisa on March 29, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    @Luzydel I agree but also I don’t allow anyone to block my door… even if he is, I can still circle date and leave myself open to everyone coming into my life… so I guess I don’t feel the need to let them go so much as, just allow it to fade away kind of thing… the more distant he gets the more I lean back, until there is lots of space…

    @Mandy I agree with that also and wonder sometimes if men pull away to create a space of less pressure and more space so that they can find their feelings…

    It’s all so paradoxal….

    I’m learning more and more each day how I abandon myself and I’m finding that it works good for me to stay in my business and doing my life… and then whatever he does or doesn’t do – doesn’t effect me much…

    OXOXO



  20.  #20Mandy on March 29, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Lisa, yes I do see J doing this, sometimes he likes to sit on the porch alone, and I let him and somehow it doesn’t make me feel bad, I just let him, and I think he likes it.

    I feel so glad that J is much sweeter in asking for space than, say, my dad or twin brother. Their anxiety runs high so they go from 0-10 if they feel crowded, and if I visit my parent’s house and they are in it, they will yell at me if I make them anxious like that; J is MUCH more in control of how he expresses himself, and I feel so grateful for how calm and sweet he is, in fact I want to be like him….he makes me want to be a calmer person :).



  21.  #21Daria on March 29, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    really was being there for me yesterday

    took myself out alone to the bar – had teh usual nv’s not to –

    and it felt SO Fun!

    my girls showed up, a bumncha guys that i felt good with showed up when i started practicing my Rori raye dance position and opening my pelvis and heart!

    yay!

    the more i did the more the situation improved after a few moments!



  22.  #22Daria on March 29, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    im feeling sad after reading facebook

    gonna check pof



  23.  #23Daria on March 29, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    i feel disappointed the cute guy from last nite didnt call liek he said he woud



  24.  #24Mandy on March 29, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    Femininewoman,

    I used to feel hopeless because I am on meds that promote weight gain. I turned my body into a fat-burning machine by cutting out carbs and sugar, and the best part is, no exercise needed to see results (however I do still exercise because I have metabolic issues, and my body doesn’t respond as well/fast as everyone else to this metabolic “switch”.) Have you considered swimming, or is that painful too? If so, Atkins diet might help you feel better and you won’t have to hurt.

    HUGS!



  25.  #25prplpsn28 on March 29, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    🙂



  26.  #26Luzydel on March 29, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    I am doubting myself and about to reach out to CuteCd… but then I feel yuck for the way he has been treating me. On my birthday he was away, but when we chatted he only talked about himself and didn’t even asked how was my day. then he kinda acted blah the past week and seemed so uninterested. When I asked him if everything was ok; he just answered with “whatever” I got upset and terminated the chat. I may have overreacted, but My defenses kicked in. Next day told a friend and she looked at me like I was being wrong, and Ugh I sent him a text apologizing for overreacting…

    Last week was kinda stressful for me and I was feeling defensive around everyone. I wasn’t offensive and I guess if he wants me in his life he will reach out to me. Opened POF for a bit and got 2 emails and then closed it off right away. I just do not like myself when I date men this way… I like myself more when I am out looking and feeling good and letting people approach me.
    I have been a bit self absorbed and going inside myself a lot; I put a lot of energy into my CDs and I feel exhausted. Captaincd has texted me a few times, but I feel cold now.

    My problem is that even when I see red flags, I stay then I loose interest and energy in men for a while. I need to leave sooner; so I can still have energy for other men…

    Just rambling here…



  27.  #27Leigha Baker on March 29, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    Mandy – 16 – You were great!! It was great talking with you – and I’m excited to see how things go!! 🙂 xoxo



  28.  #28Femininewoman on March 29, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    Thanks Mandy. My body responds very well when I do no carb no sugar.



  29.  #29Mandy on March 29, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    Femininewoman,

    In all honesty, I have to say, I feel the low-carb regimen has done its share of saving my femininity. I was SO insecure around my man for so long I didn’t want to spend another minute feeling it, and he actually suggested it in a moment of honesty to me, so I thought, hm, maybe it will help, and sure as can be, it worked like a charm…I no longer feel jealous of dancers or models who surround me, because I know not only do I feel good but I’m a class-act too, because I have the Siren tools to boot 🙂 The regimen, and those tools, and knowing I have them, make me feel like I have a special awesome secret that I’m keeping when I walk around a room…I can pull them out of my pocket at any sign of trouble 🙂



  30.  #30Turquoise on March 29, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    Thank you sirens. Time is passing so slowly this weekend. I spent a lot of time with Sweethearts parents today. It’s good for both of us. We went through pictures for the memorial, and I was able to order some online for them, that they can share with family tomorrow. It feels good to do something. I am still crying a lot, and wishing I had reached out the night before he passed. It crossed my mine, I was just preoccupied with different things. That may haunt me a very very long time. I made up with Mr. Conversation. Times like this help put things in perspective and he’s so good in a crisis, I need the support. I don’t know when I will be ready to date again. I’m just so heartbroken and sad. I want to just be with my loved ones… Not trying to meet someone new. My ex is getting married in May. It’s not bothering me as much as I thought it could, which I’m taking as a good thing. I miss sweetheart. I wish this was just a bad dream.



  31.  #31Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 12:04 am

    Sometimes I feel surprised to find myself single at this age. I never thought I’d be. Life is funny.
    I feel thankful for my family members that I do get along with and I’m close to. I would feel so alone without them.
    It’s interesting how friends, even close ones, can float on and out I our life.
    I am experiencing that now.
    I’ve learned to accept that friends come and go.i actually feel less attached these days for that reason.



  32.  #32Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 12:06 am

    26 luzydel … This resonates with me ❤



  33.  #33Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 12:08 am

    21 yay Daria !!! 🙂



  34.  #34FEFE on March 30, 2014 at 12:40 am

    I’m in my 40s and been without a man for 4 years. I finale met a man younger than me. I thought I wanted him in a relationship, but he flipped the script. He said somethings that that made me ready to fight him. I started listening to Modern Sirens and started practicing identifying what I was feeling. It calmed me some. I still feel I need to confront him and let him know how he made me.



  35.  #35Waterfall on March 30, 2014 at 5:53 am

    Hi Sirens,

    I am just going to write because I feel I need to get this out somewhere. I am just going to write the first thing that comes into my head, and not censor..

    The man that I’ve been seeing for nearly a year seems to be pulling away from me. He says he still loves me but that he has other commitments. I don’t believe him. His commitment should be to me.

    I feel so angry and rejected by him. I feel like I am just playing his game as he moves further and further away from me.

    I want to believe things will change. He begs me to be patient but I feel really confused. I do not want to be patient.

    All the time I feel confused. Does he love me? Will we make it? All the time I have this nagging doubt.

    We can’t go for one day without arguing. And he is blaming me saying that I am the one starting all of the arguments.

    I feel trapped. Yet at the same time I love him and miss him when he’s not there.

    Almost all of the time I want to make a mad dash to escape. I feel like I am seeing warning signs and red flags everywhere. He gets angry with me, and wound up with me – I feel I am constantly calming him down.

    He is constantly making a joke out of things. Especially if I bring a topic up that I want to talk about. This makes me want to run away and hide and bury my head in shame.



  36.  #36Waterfall on March 30, 2014 at 5:53 am

    Hi Sirens,

    I am just going to write because I feel I need to get this out somewhere. I am just going to write the first thing that comes into my head, and not censor..

    The man that I’ve been seeing for nearly a year seems to be pulling away from me. He says he still loves me but that he has other commitments. I don’t believe him. His commitment should be to me.

    I feel so angry and rejected by him. I feel like I am just playing his game as he moves further and further away from me.

    I want to believe things will change. He begs me to be patient but I feel really confused. I do not want to be patient.

    All the time I feel confused. Does he love me? Will we make it? All the time I have this nagging doubt.

    We can’t go for one day without arguing. And he is blaming me saying that I am the one starting all of the arguments.

    I feel trapped. Yet at the same time I love him and miss him when he’s not there.

    Almost all of the time I want to make a mad dash to escape. I feel like I am seeing warning signs and red flags everywhere. He gets angry with me, and wound up with me – I feel I am constantly calming him down.

    He is constantly making a joke out of things. Especially if I bring a topic up that I want to talk about. This makes me want to run away and hide and bury my head in shame.



  37.  #37Waterfall on March 30, 2014 at 5:55 am

    Sorry to write it out in one big splurge, I’m feeling so wound up inside



  38.  #38Amazed on March 30, 2014 at 6:57 am

    Awww… (((waterfall))) sounds like you need a getaway weekend just to pamper your body, mind and soul. He sounds like he’s taking for granted that you will always be there and you need to shake his belief.



  39.  #39Waterfall on March 30, 2014 at 8:59 am

    Amazed

    That is actually what I have been thinking. I have just booked a weekend away.

    Thanks



  40.  #40Kyla on March 30, 2014 at 9:24 am

    (((Waterfall))) I’m only going from what you wrote above so I realise I don’t have all the info. So what I got from this was – He says he has other commitments that he needs to focus on and needs you to be patient and you are feeling abandoned and afraid leading to him blaming you for starting arguments and laughing off topics that you bring up to discuss. Lets believe he really does have other priorities on his mind. Men really do find it difficult to focus their energy on more than one thing and if this is causing him stress you don’t want the relationship to be an additional source of stress. This will only push him away.

    Something here needs to change and you can only change your side of it. What if step back and give him lots of space? What if look to other friends and loved ones in your life to fill your emotional needs during this time? What if you got really passionate about something in your own life that doesn’t involve him? What if you apologized to him for the arguments and shared that you are feeling afraid and confused but you hear that his focus is elsewhere right now and he can take all the time he needs? What if you didn’t bring up any topics to discuss? What if you trusted him and respected his needs? What if you honored your feelings and took responsibility to take loving care of you no matter what’s going on with him? What if you could relax deeply into your body and just notice what happens?

    Lean back and breathe and make a list of all the lovely things you can do that lift your vibe and make you feel better.



  41.  #41April Rose on March 30, 2014 at 10:05 am

    Waterfall,

    Here is a script Rori used with her man when he was pulling away

    “Take all time you need. Just don’t expect to have me all to yourself while you’re figuring it out”

    and then she went out circular dating.



  42.  #42April Rose on March 30, 2014 at 10:07 am

    * all the time you need*



  43.  #43Veronica on March 30, 2014 at 10:12 am

    Well, I feel smacked upside the head. That’s what truth is, I guess. I found out that BM is in a relationship. I feel sick like I want to throw up and there’s a whirring inside me. I feel despondent, abandoned like I’ve wasted so much time but I also have such an intimate experience of ‘what an uninterested man does’. I always thought that men would be open with a recent ex – I’ve met someone, all I can offer is friendship, etc. especially when things have been so vague. If he had told me straight out cold a year ago ‘I’m done, and now want to pursue other interactions’ then I would have dropped everything and gone my way. I just got a message yesterday that he still wanted to know what was going on in my life even though we have separate lives, he thought I needed space and so that’s why he’s been out of contact. I kept thinking today ‘you couldn’t be more wrong’.

    Oh no, I should have listened to my instincts from the beginnings of the relationship, I should have left then, I knew something was off from the beginning. There was even a chance right at the beginning where I could have left – and no I didn’t. It was as if I wasn’t fitting in, there was inertia on his part. Ugh. (I’m not blaming myself here, I recognize now that my instincts were right despite all the words, and the claiming to care without the clarity). Ouch.

    And now I KNOW.

    But there’s also a thrill of ‘I’m free’.

    And tears now, for myself, sorrow and relief, sorrow and relief

    And so many lessons learnt, and if I haven’t learnt them, then pain will remind me.

    As for letting him know what’s going on in my life — hell no.



  44.  #44Veronica on March 30, 2014 at 10:24 am

    Still feeling ouch and shaky.

    I believe things will get a whole better now.



  45.  #45Waterfall on March 30, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Kyla,

    Your words arevery soothing.

    Weirdly, he has not been in touch all day and now I feel panicky and I am feeling desperate to gear from him.

    I am wondering now if he has decided to end it. I just don’t know what to think and feel?

    90% of the time I think he wants to end it with me. I sense he doesn’t want to be around me. He doesn’t seem to fill me with confidence that I make him happy.

    He is always saying that he loves our time together but he also loves our time apart. This makes me feel so scared and confused.

    He also says the best times he has with me is when we are on our own. He doesn’t seem to want to build a life with me. It’s like he wants to see me and then leave – and not really get involved with my life.

    This has been going on for so long it has now become an enormous issue with me. He seems to flounce into my life and flounce out.

    I have told him several times that I want more and that I want to build a life with him. But he just says he’s finding it very difficult and that I have to be patient with him.

    I feel like he just wants me to be patient so that he can go off and do his own thing and then just come back to me for a cuddle. I guess this is really a friends wirh benefits converstation but I am in denial about this.

    I want to believe that things will change. I don’t want to break away because I already miss him and feel like like he is my rock.



  46.  #46Waterfall on March 30, 2014 at 11:33 am

    Sorry, I mean “situation” not “conversation”!!



  47.  #47Luzydel on March 30, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    43: Veronica

    Despite popular belief and what some dating “experts” say. When a man distances is either because there is someone else or because they aren’t that interested anymore. Either because they realized that we are not “the one” for them, or because they want to keep playing the field. Unfortunately some men lack the bravery to set us free with the truth.

    We have to stop with the romanticism of masculinity and accepting this type of male behavior as a norm. Yeah there some exceptions where men need space to figure out things, but they do not run away or act inconsiderate.

    Let’s stop accepting Bad male behavior as a norm or just excusing them as “boys will be boys” it is not fair for the good men out there who treat us good because then we see them as “weak” when they are just decent men. And it is not fair for us either…

    If this was me I use it as a lesson to stop excusing bad male behavior with masculinity. A true gentleman respects you, even if he doesn’t wants a relationship with you.



  48.  #48Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Sirens I stopped midway through my errands today and just went home.i decided I just want to rest at home and read a book.
    I feel proud of myself for being true to my needs.
    I have no sign of any promising CDs on my horizon.
    But every day brings new possibilities!



  49.  #49Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 6:12 pm

    Sirens I feel angry and jealous of the woman who is with recycledCD and I also feel annoyed to see an old cd on Facebook with his girlfriend. Fb stalking is silly I know!
    I don’t understand why SHE is with him and not me.
    I reuse to believe that I’ve been left behind and forgotten and never to meet a new love!
    I ha a terrible feeling this morning about it and nv were saying “things will never change…” But they always do…



  50.  #50Luzydel on March 30, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    I do the same sometimes Emerson. I cyber stalk people on Facebook and wonder why he didn’t choose me. Then I get into self loathing mode. Wondering if this is it for me, But then I ask myself what is wrong with my present. If I want to I can go on a date with someone, I could just go on a road trip on my own, go stargazing in the middle of the night. I am able to support myseft, I have good health. Why am I not valuable now? Why do I only felt valuable when I got just crumbs from these men?

    I don’t know the future, if I ever meet a long time partner or even remarry. But I am determined to enjoy my present. To savor it, to flirt, to stop agonizing over men. That is why it is called present, because it is a gift and it should be enjoyed.



  51.  #51Kyla on March 30, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    Waterfall, You don’t have to go anywhere right now. Or make any decision either. I would just fill up myself and let him be and then notice whatever happens and then notice how I feel about that.

    That urgency feeling. Mmm that always tells me to STOP because I’m feeling panic and desperation. I really need to sink into how I’m feeling and just breathe until it passes and get out of the spiral of NVs in my head.

    That weekend away feels so yummy and pampering.



  52.  #52Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    Thank you luzydel<3
    It feels good to read your words to me. I feel heard and acknowledged.

    Kyla 51 I know this reply was to waterfall …. But oh yes I know the feeling of urgency …such a great reminder to take a breath and let it PASS!!!!



  53.  #53Tereana on March 30, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    This call looks fun…maybe I will do it!! 🙂



  54.  #54Tereana on March 30, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    Turquoise – Wow, I posted to you on the last thread, but here, somehow it became more powerful on a much deeper level when I saw his real name. And of course picturing you two as kids. Everyone has their story, and our names our powerful. Seeing it, I just felt the weight, the essence of all he was…And somehow, Lisa’s observation of “it is all ok” is resonating with me right now for you. It sounds strange. Because everything must not feel ok for you right now. But in a bigger, more expansive sense…it is ok. He is complete. You will always feel this loss. I know. Because I have lost friends and family members, too. But keeping them in your heart allows the hole in your life not to grow too big. And remembering them, you can find the sweetness in the pain, because it is just another dimension to this beautiful and fabulous life.

    I am dealing with my own pain, right now, this moment. And so, even though it is a different sort of pain, less raw and present than surely yours is, there is still, somehow, when I allow myself to forget anger and resentment, and just feel the pain itself…there is a sweetness. Hard to explain. So fitting that Sweet was part of the name you chose for him on this blog..

    Write about it as much as you need. We are here for you



  55.  #55Starla on March 30, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    Hi Sirens,
    So… I’m in a relationship with a great man who is tall and handsome and successful and motivated and masculine and generous and affectionate and interesting and open and adventurous and protecting and to make it all even better, he was my close friend for many years to start:). We’ve been dating since last summer and going strong as an exclusive couple since the beginning of this year. I never thought in a million years I would end up with him, but he is truly the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.
    Just wanted to share the nice update,
    Starla



  56.  #56Tereana on March 30, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Emerson – you are so wonderful. I can always just sense how awesome you are through your posts. And I, too, feel, and have felt, the sense of the inexplicable that determines why “she” is with “him,” and not…you. And so…equally inexplicable (or explicable), I guess, is when that one man who sees you, who really sees you, and is ready for you and “gets” you, or at least wants and desires to be with you with all of who he is…when that shows up, it will feel so right.

    He’s on his way. He’s getting ready for you, just as you are getting ready for him. I know this is true. I am going to choose to believe it. Because even if he doesn’t know it yet, I know how awesome you are. We all do. Yay Emerson!



  57.  #57Tereana on March 30, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    Hi Starla – that is – wow, super cool! Go you : )



  58.  #58Starla on March 30, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    Hi Sirens:)
    So… I’m in a relationship with a great man who is tall and handsome and successful and motivated and masculine and generous and affectionate and interesting and open and adventurous and protecting and to make it all even better, he was my close friend for many years to start:). We’ve been dating since last summer and going strong as an exclusive couple since the beginning of this year. I never thought in a million years I would end up with him, but he is truly the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.
    Just wanted to share the nice update,
    Starla
    🙂



  59.  #59Starla on March 30, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    sorry for the duplicate posting. apparently i am not good at the internet anymore:P.



  60.  #60Tereana on March 30, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Okay, now about me…I have a wonderful boyfriend, too. I feel amazed that he’s with me, and yet it does make sense on this very basic level. But I still struggle. Not everything he does is perfect. And being in this intimacy with someone really does bring up your “stuff.” And I have a lot of “stuff” to bring up. HA!

    And btw, when I say “intimate” I don’t even mean sex. Because we are still waiting on that. And if we ever do have sex, it will be because we are married. And can I just tell you how pleased I am about that, because it’s what I have always wanted. Halleluja! 🙂 Lol

    But even so…I am afraid of screwing this up. I am afraid of my own emotions getting out of control. I do lots of deep breathing and meditation, etc. But when it really comes down to it, in the moment, if I get “triggered” in just the right way…all my good sensibility flies out the window. The idea of pausing to take a breath just doesn’t even come up. There’s no time. One minute I’m feeling fine. The next, if I’m overwhelmed with emotion, I just might let it out.

    That happened on Saturday, and I could tell it really hurt him. We had spent a lot of time together. In fact, he spent the night with me, and we just cuddled all night, and we kissed, and it was very lovely. And he was leaving to go to a friend’s party in the late morning. So I think I felt a complex mix of 1) whoa, lots of intimacy all at once, 2) ack, he’s leaving me and I wish we had more time together, 3) oh crap, he’s being playful about my pants and I don’t really want to go there, and 4) I feel gross and I really just want him to leave so I can take a shower. Lol. But it all came out at once, and it wasn’t pretty.

    Now I’m not sure, because I hate how it hurts him. I just seriously want to get into anger management, or something. I know that the anger is a cover up for pain, which has nothing to do with him. Probably all the pain and rage I feel about my family, which has only sort of somewhat been dealt with. I feel like I’ve only ever been able to scratch the surface….

    And it’s fine (or not fine) to feel sadness and anger on my own. But now, with him in my life, and an a real relationship to be a part of, I don’t want these feelings to get in the way. I actually do care, quite a lot, about how he feels. And I want to find another way, or some way to heal myself so I don’t have these strong reactions anymore that come out of nowhere and feel uncontrollable. Avoidance is my main tactic, but it can’t always be avoided.

    Anyway. I still believe that he’s there, even though this has happened. And I’m even pulling back a bit and giving myself time and space to heal and recover and feel good again. And giving him the opportunity to come to me as well. I’ve been doing a lot of the leaning forward and work and driving. And I think that must be part of it, too. “Asking for what I need” has felt kind of like driving, because then I just set up a specific expectation of what will happen.

    But expectations are the enemy of happiness. Or, put another way, having low expectations is a great key to happiness. I would like to start expecting less from him. Maybe even less from me. And just be pleasantly surprised by what is possible.

    Which in no way solves the problem with my family.

    But I had a good scream into a pillow. That felt nice. I’ve got to get the energy out somehow. Just praying that there will be a way for me to heal this so that I can be the kind of partner that I really would like to be…



  61.  #61Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    ((Tereana))
    Thank you for your message to me I feel hugged by you 😉 lol



  62.  #62Liquid Light on March 30, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    Thanks fantastic Starla! Nice to hear such a great success story!! 🙂



  63.  #63Kyla on March 30, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    In a few weeks I will have my first increased pay day and I’m feeling giddy and joyful planning the surprise weekend to a family theme park resort that I’m bringing my kids away for next month.

    I felt good all day. My gran who was critical in Jan called to wish me happy birthday and I felt so light and happy to hear her sounding so wonderful and full of love on the phone. I have felt her hug around me ever since. I’m feeling so much gratitude for everything and its soothing my soul and I’m feeling so much more aware and at peace. So much generosity and love is being poured on me and I feel loved. I feel better balanced. I feel contented and renewed.



  64.  #64Indigo on March 30, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    ((((((((Turquoise))))))))))

    So sorry. X



  65.  #65Indigo on March 30, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    Starla,

    That is wonderful 🙂



  66.  #66Indigo on March 30, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    Waterfall,

    It sounds to me like you need to talk to him in a way he can hear, so that you feel heard and understood – without fighting, arguing or making him wrong – we can help you with a script. After that, I would really try leave it at that. Kyla’s suggestion is an excellent one.

    I speak from experience because I know the kind of anxiety you are describing well. I can also tell you that arguing so regularly will poison a relationship… so you would need to find a way to talk to each other without it becoming that.



  67.  #67Veronica on March 30, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    Luzydel – 47 – Yes! Thank you so much for writing because I feel that I’m not alone in this. It means a lot to me because I still feel a little shaky.

    This brought me such comfort and thank you for being so kind to say these:
    “Unfortunately some men lack the bravery to set us free with the truth.”
    “Yeah there some exceptions where men need space to figure out things, but they do not run away or act inconsiderate.”
    “A true gentleman respects you, even if he doesn’t wants a relationship with you.”

    I feel liberated in the sense that now I know my truth around this and no ‘what-ifs’ are going to sway me. It’s even helped put the events with LastCD into perspective.

    I resonate with what you said about being made to feel bad when ‘enough being enough’ is understood as ‘overreacting’. I also stay way too long when those red flags are waving about. Rori’s tools are helping me to move on much faster – two years pre-Rori to now two dates (plus my sanity).



  68.  #68Veronica on March 30, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    What I feel appalled by is that he made very incorrect assumptions about what I needed and proceeded to act according to those assumptions without even checking first (i.e. listening, asking). I feel completely misunderstood and unheard. But I also don’t believe him – things are not adding up, the actions and words don’t correlate which I find unsettling. I feel dismayed that in his very few interactions with me, he is displaying increasing inconsiderateness, even callousness – this is not how I know him and that’s where my pain mostly lies. I also feel pressed into a mode of interaction he defines that I find quite dubious in that I wasn’t made fully aware of what I would be entering into. For goodness sake, I’m on the other side of the planet, there is nothing I can do, nor want to do. We already agreed that things were over yet his contact, which he requested, doesn’t feel friendly/kind/involved at all. I feel like I am being kept.

    I do very much like the idea that I freed myself.

    And I’ve received such love and support from my sister.

    Even my dream was riddled with abandonment and loneliness feelings. A while ago I dreamed that I was entering a deceptively beautiful world which was actually a prison, in my dream last night I was in the same place and decided that even if the guards beat me to death, I would leave, even death was leaving. It was a very profound moment in my dream because in that moment while I was dreaming I knew exactly what it meant – freeing myself from the crazy vagueness with BM. My dreams are also becoming more aware – increased sensitivity – someone was making love to me and I could feel their touch.



  69.  #69Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    I’m feeling so done with online dating again.i feel like all te guys are the same. It seems like they are all on therefor sex. It feels so boring and a turnoff.



  70.  #70Emerson on March 30, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    I’m feeling so done with online dating again.i feel like all te guys are the same. It seems like they are all on therefor sex. It feels so boring and a turnoff.



  71.  #71Femininewoman on March 31, 2014 at 2:05 am

    Happy Birthday Kyla



  72.  #72Linda on March 31, 2014 at 3:44 am

    For the first time in my life… I am like being totally single. For the first time in my life I dont have this little part of me that is secretly thinking or wishing I had a man to share my life with. I dont feel driven by anything. It feels peaceful and odd at the same time.

    In lots of ways I had my life in a holding pattern and have been living with this.. I am gonna wait on that till I have my “the one” then I will proceed, then I will do that.. then I will go there.

    I have been mentally “uncoupling” myself from lots of things. It is freeing.



  73.  #73Linda on March 31, 2014 at 6:16 am

    I am not closed to the idea of having a man in my life. I am very clear on how he will feel to me. How I will feel when we are together. The more I concentrate THAT the more possible it feels and open I am.



  74.  #74Veronica on March 31, 2014 at 6:59 am

    Linda -72 – Something about what you wrote has inspired me. I hope I’m understanding correctly: that being single is so enriching for you, that it’s now a beautiful choice not the only choice when things don’t work out.

    It has me re-thinking my stuff with contact/non-contact twisty ugliness. Thank you and yay to you.



  75.  #75Veronica on March 31, 2014 at 7:00 am

    Linda -72 – Something about what you wrote has inspired me. I hope I’m understanding correctly: that being single is so enriching for you, that it’s now a beautiful choice not the only choice when things don’t work out.

    It has me re-thinking my stuff with contact/non-contact twisty ugliness. Thank you and yay to you.



  76.  #76Veronica on March 31, 2014 at 7:06 am

    I can feel myself wanting to channel Andrea-power when I think of how I want to respond to BM. I’ve gone through some shifts – crying, feeling hopeless about getting all the siren ways, then the ranting and listing of what’s wrong/what’s not working. Then Linda’s post inspired me to think of the kind of contact I want, then I become excited and my energy changes completely, BUT it’s still a list and demanding-like. And then I think of Andrea-power and boom! I feel amazing, like I could be a siren and with everyone. Thank you so much Andrea with sharing your new experiences, I want to tap into that power and practice practice practice : )

    Huge progress today!



  77.  #77Kyla on March 31, 2014 at 7:20 am

    Thanks for the birthday wishes Femininewoman!

    Today I feel really good. I’m feeling calm and happy and really efficient and productive.

    I hugged my assistant and ran out to buy her a coffee this morning after I walked into my office and saw the mountain of filing I’d left stacked all over the floor Thursday night was all put away! Its not her job and she put aside her work to spend 5 hours doing it for me Friday! I was planning on staying late tonight to do it, I feel so grateful and supported!

    The universe is so kind and people have heart’s of pure gold.

    I have a date tomorrow night after my 2 week break and I’m feeling enthusiastic to start kick boxing tonight now that I don’t have to stay and file 🙂



  78.  #78prplpsn28 on March 31, 2014 at 7:32 am

    I think things are over with H. 2 1/2 yrs for what?! For him to start talking to someone else behind my back. Why else would someone who says they don’t like fb be on there at all hours the past few days. When I ask about it, in a non accusing non finger pointing way, he gets all defensive and disappears. He won’t respond to me now. 2 wks ago we had a great wknd together. I haven’t seen him since and contact has been minimal. I feel very untrusting and very hurt. Trust has always been an issue for me and a constant work in progress. I know lately my vibe has been WAY off due to many things in my life right now not just H. I’m sure he can sense that and that may be part of his disappearing. I feel totally lost and hurt and have no clue what to do. Hand over my heart, keeping busy with other things, etc doesn’t help. 🙁



  79.  #79Linda on March 31, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Veronica… I am so happy that you feel inspired! Yes you are right being solo and totally single is soooo MY choice right now. As you say it feels a beautiful choice too.

    I am sorry that you things have not gone as you hoped with BM. There are so many of us here that can relate.

    I too have received inspiration from Andrea. Though I don’t see myself quite communicating as she does, there is a cord that is struck by her example in. It is all gently simmering in me right now.

    I am working diligently to keep the commitment I made to take excellent care of myself…as I do it is becoming easier to identify what does and doesn’t fit in our lives. I am right there with ya!



  80.  #80Linda on March 31, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    purple.. hugs to you.



  81.  #81Senior Lady Vibe on March 31, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    @55 Starla says:
    “…to make it all even better, he was my close friend for many years to start:). We’ve been dating since last summer and going strong as an exclusive couple since the beginning of this year…

    That sounds strong and very, very good. All the best to you.

    SLV
    xoxo



  82.  #82Emerson on March 31, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    Hi Sirens I had a challenging day. I intend to change some of my habits.
    I intend to plan my meals better
    I intend to go to spiritual services once a week
    I intend to plan a vacation
    I intend to meet new men and be open
    I intend not to lose hope
    I intend to be mindful in my daily activities and work
    I intend to curb my stress eating by creating good things to eat



  83.  #83Emerson on March 31, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    The idea that I could possibly be single forever never really crossed my mind…
    But now I feel fearful that it could be possible…
    I feel scared



  84.  #84Veronica on March 31, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    Linda -78 – Yay. That is a really good point you made – when you take good care of yourself, it becomes easier to identify what does and doesn’t fit in our lives.

    and wow, ‘fit in’ is exactly what I’m thinking about and experiencing now. Thank you.



  85.  #85Emerson on March 31, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    I feel excited for tomorrow and what the day will bring…
    No I don’t
    That’s a lie
    I feel scared that its just the same old thing
    I can change it though

    Also I feel weird because exoticCD doesn’t even reply to me now even when I say hi. He’s mad that I won’t have a fwb relationship with him. So be it. It does hurt a little that he ignores me now.

    I miss the feelin of magic when a relationship is good. I haven’t had it in so long.



  86.  #86Emerson on March 31, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    Ladies I bought some tea tree oil and put on my blemish. It really helped! Just wanted to share!



  87.  #87Indigo on April 1, 2014 at 12:05 am

    ((((Purple))))



  88.  #88Cris on April 1, 2014 at 12:09 am

    ((((Emerson))))



  89.  #89Indigo on April 1, 2014 at 12:37 am

    Purple,

    I do not know how you are coping being exclusive with someone you only see every two weeks for 2 1/2 years! No wonder you are feeling anxious and hurt.

    At the very least I would start accepting coffee dates with other men.

    I do not know how you are managing.



  90.  #90Femininewoman on April 1, 2014 at 6:46 am

    Emerson I believe in the time you have spent so far on the blog you have learned that learning forward and saying “hi” is equivalent to hunting a man down and trying to pull him out of his cave when he is withdrawing. It essentially pushes him out of the relationship bubble with your energy. How do you feel when you “do” that?



  91.  #91Femininewoman on April 1, 2014 at 6:48 am

    Yes Linda. For me right now I feel very clear deep inside that to have a relationship with any man I need love and respect. When this is lacking I don’t even find anger anymore just a resolution to move on.



  92.  #92Femininewoman on April 1, 2014 at 6:53 am

    Kyla mine is on Sunday and I am so looking forward to spending it in Italy with my daughter.

    I just got back from Jamaica where I went to a funeral and I also got some quality time with my son. Strangely my ex from 30 years ago came really close emotionally and shared how much of a hope he is carrying about reconciliation though I did not agree to anything. I just listened and accepted his adoration. Strange how men can upgrade themselves and work to get into your space when you don’t send any energy their way.



  93.  #93Kyla on April 1, 2014 at 7:32 am

    That sounds wonderful Femininewoman! I hope you enjoy every second 🙂



  94.  #94Tereana on April 1, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Emerson – Yay! 🙂



  95.  #95Millie on April 1, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    Something unexpected just happened. Mechanic called me. First he asked if I was busy and if he could call. He’s never done that before. Then he told me about his person he met looking for a specific fabric and he knew I would know about it. So I say Oh! Yes… And proceed to tell him about it and asked if he was doing a project with this person and that’s why he was asking. He said no. Basically… He wasn’t calling to get information from me…he wasn’t calling to get anything from me!! He just said you were the first person I thought of and I wanted to call you. Wow He called to tell me he thought of me. And that’s it. I’m feel all shiny and sparkly. 🙂



  96.  #96Femininewoman on April 1, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Kyla I am here looking up things that I could possibly do while there.



  97.  #97Liquid Light on April 1, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Millie 94 🙂