Free Webinar With The Amazing Tatia Dee On Monday, October 5, 2015 at 5:00 pm (PST)

Untitled design (14)

tatia home 2From Rori: Tatia is not only an amazing coach – she’s an amazing presenter – her webinar will be the full “deal” and give you so much help in a totally fresh way…I’ll be there, listening and watching the screen, right with you…


Do you feel frustrated when a man suddenly withdraws, acts weird or doesn’t call?

Despite how he acts, do you find yourself thinking about him constantly, missing him and wanting to spend every possible minute with him?

Do you feel like you’re losing yourself and acting less feminine?


You can change this right now!

I’m going to share my 7 easy Steps To Irresistible with you that will bring a FAST and wonderful change to your love life!

You’re Cordially Invited to my Free Women’s Coaching Webinar on Monday, October 5, 2015 at 5:00 pm (PST) and 8:00 pm (EST).

We’re going to spend 90 minutes BOOSTING YOUR FEMININE POWER talking about:

(1) Understanding men,

(2) Using your feminine power tools,

(3) Changing our old masculine patterns,

(4) Leaning back when interacting with a man,

(5) How to let your feelings guide your words and actions,

(6) Not losing yourself in a man or a relationship, and

(7) How to interact with men in a feminine way.

At the end of the webinar, I’ll tell you how you can STAY Irresistible with an opportunity to enroll in my Six Week Power To Love Academy – starting at only $25!

So please join me on Monday, October 5, 2015 at 5:00 pm (PST) and 8:00 pm (EST) for this fabulously FREE Women’s Coaching Webinar Experience.

And don’t worry if you sign up but miss the live presentation, I’ll email every registrant a recording of the webinar.

Click Here To Register ( ) .

See you on Monday!



Posted in


  1.  #1Femininewoman on October 2, 2015 at 6:28 am

    Love you Tatia. Will try to make it

  2.  #2Femininewoman on October 2, 2015 at 6:31 am

    It seems the link to register is not working though

  3.  #3Tatia Dee on October 2, 2015 at 7:07 am

    Hi Femininewoman!! That’s awesome!!!

  4.  #4Tatia Dee on October 2, 2015 at 7:09 am

    Thank you Femininewoman! I found the problem and corrected it. Blessings to you my love, as always, I appreciate you!!!

  5.  #5Femininewoman on October 2, 2015 at 7:11 am

    Thank you my dear.

    I am going to try again

  6.  #6Tatia Dee on October 2, 2015 at 7:13 am


  7.  #7Sami Wunder on October 2, 2015 at 7:44 am

    Yay Tatia !! This is going to be so fun <3

  8.  #8Femininewoman on October 2, 2015 at 8:16 am

    Unfortunately still not working

  9.  #9Tatia Dee on October 2, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Oh No!!! It worked when I clicked on it. Okay, here, try this link:

    So sorry you’re having this problem 🙁
    I was trying to ignore the mercury retrograde but I see it’s found it’s way to me, lol.

  10.  #10Tatia Dee on October 2, 2015 at 9:37 am


    Also, maybe refresh your browser since I made a correction to the link.

  11.  #11Tatia Dee on October 2, 2015 at 9:38 am

    I will jump back on later to see if it worked out for you.

  12.  #12Femininewoman on October 2, 2015 at 9:51 am

    yayy I got in

  13.  #13Tatia Dee on October 2, 2015 at 11:18 am


  14.  #14Tatia Dee on October 2, 2015 at 11:18 am

    Hi Sami Honey!!! Yes, we’re going to have some siren fun on Monday!!

  15.  #15Indigo on October 2, 2015 at 11:25 am

    I love this latest article from Sami Wunder:

    It’s amazing how timeous this is in my life. I have been au pairing for two children for the past couple of months, and the little girl is one of the most negative people I have met. And the thing is, she has everything going for her – she is very pretty, she is bright, she has parents who dote on her and give her every possible thing she could need or want. She has a brother and both sets of grandparents who love her, goes to a great school and has every whim and comfort taken care of. Yet she is blind to her blessings. She seems to only know how to find fault in the things and people around her, and it is unbelievably draining to be around her, and then of course when you withdraw from her she complains that no one cares about her. It was just so eye-opening as to how a change in attitude can make literally all the difference to your happiness. I feel such compassion for people who lack the ability to see the abundant good around them and to feel gratitude for it.

    Simultaneously, the principle of focusing on the good and love in my life and practicing seeing it in myself and others is something I’ve been actively practicing of late. It is transformative seeing the world this way, seeing relationships this way. Things feel so good as opposed to bad. The world seems like a wondrous place full of possibility and I just need to take my time to savour it all.

    On that note, I had a first date with the cute guy from work last night (some of you may remember me talking about him some time back). It was lovely! We talked for hours, and he expressed a keenness to do it again.

  16.  #16Indigo on October 3, 2015 at 3:50 am

    I wish we talked more on this blog about how the men in our lives are a reflection of what’s going on inside us. How, when we start to live our lives truthfully from who we really are, people come into our lives to teach us what we need to learn, and to show us what’s going on with us. I’ve been baffled recently because in the last few months and years, I seem to have met guys that I really liked but who weren’t apparently in a place to have a real relationship. Of course I took this as a form of rejection, and then I took a bit of a step back and noticed that they weren’t able to have sustainable relationships with anyone else either. And now the third stage of this is me wondering what this is reflecting back about me. Finally I have brought it back to myself. And what I wonder is, do men pull away when they sense on some level that you are not ready for a serious relationship yet. Did these men walk away because they sensed on some level that I still feel deeply overwhelmed by the prospect of having The One, as much as I long for it? That I’m afraid too of losing my freedom and independence? That I’m secretly afraid of having my ability to choose another man taken away, and of some lingering feelings I still have for one man in my past? I’ve never admitted these things out loud, but it feels good to. I know that once I deal with them, the right man will come into my life effortlessly, and that I will not have to worry or work hard to make it work.

  17.  #17Femininewoman on October 3, 2015 at 5:59 am

    Indigo – some lingering feelings I still have for one man in my past?

    I do believe that guys can feel this but they only get pushed back when we verbalize it in a way that they feel compared or like they can’t win because the other guy was better somehow.

    “I know that once I deal with them, the right man will come into my life effortlessly” –
    this to me smacks of a perfectionism view and a love block. For me I don’t believe I have to have it all right because my experience has show me that even when I have been hung up on another man guys have still been attracted to me. And they stay attracted for years regardless and rotate in and out as if checking whether I am ready to truly surrender.

  18.  #18Femininewoman on October 3, 2015 at 6:06 am

    I am not so sure that people always come into my life to reflect back to me what is going on inside. I don’t necessarily think that is the truth because I do also believe that I attract people also who have things going on in their lives and are not in a place where they want a relationship with me. Sometimes I attract them to practice what I have learned. I also do believe that if I practice conscious living, conscious communication staying aware and observant of myself I really don’t need people just to reflect back what is happening inside me because I do know.

  19.  #19Indigo on October 3, 2015 at 6:22 am

    Feminine Woman,

    Thank you for your thoughts. Clearly you and I are very different 🙂

  20.  #20Liquid Light on October 3, 2015 at 10:49 am

    I had a third date with someone I met a few weeks ago. You might remember that I said I was excited to finally meet someone “decent”. And I still feel that way.

    We had a great time. He took me out to an amazing restaurant that I had never been to before. The food and wine were delicious. We both love wine so its fun to share that with someone else who is also passionate about it. He’s also pretty knowledgable about it.

    We went out and heard music afterwards and danced. It was cute place with an unusual band. Just a fun and different scene from where I’ve been going. And it was really fun to dance. We danced a lot on our last date too. Too much conversation especially with someone new can be a bit overwhelming to me so it was nice to balance the evening out with dancing.

    He’s turning out to be true to his profile. I’m not seeing a mismatch there which I realize that I kind of brace myself for now. I’m always expecting some big discrepancy (translation: lie) or something really weird to be revealed about the person in those first few dates. So far, nothing strange. He seems like a nice, normal, smart, successful, attractive man. He’s got a good sense of humor and quick smile. (Ok I wish he was a bit more light-hearted/funny because my ex was like that and I loved it.) But maybe he’ll relax more as time goes on.

    So far, so good! It really feels great to meet someone decent with both feet planted on the ground and isn’t in la-la land. LOL

  21.  #21Millie on October 3, 2015 at 11:09 pm

    So I went back online… Of course… I keep going back and forth between being fed up but still wanting the door to be kept open. Lots of guys are messaging me and some seem like really great catches!! But then I reply and then they don’t reply back…or stop replying, or I give them my number and they turn out to be strange. So much sifting… I’m wondering if I need to try harder by being softer… Or what I could change to improve this process….

  22.  #22Femininewoman on October 4, 2015 at 12:59 am

    Hi Millie. Praise yourself for being so brave and willing to move out of your comfort zone.

  23.  #23Lovergirl on October 4, 2015 at 9:06 am

    Just swinging through. I finally had sex with that guy that I met back in june off tinder and liked but thought id never talk to again when the app stopped working on my phone. We had gone on a great date in june and since we started talking again had gone on two more dates. Hes very good looking, used to play college football for a big name school and is built like a brick house. Hes a ceo at a medical research company and very wealthy. I actually feel a bit intimidated by all this and like what does he want with me, a single mom of 5? But hes been very much the gentleman and so far so good. Anyway, the sex, was out of this world good!! Wow!! I dont know what will come out of the relationship as he travels a lot and who knows, maybe hes hiding a wife somewhere but its definitely helping my ability

  24.  #24Lovergirl on October 4, 2015 at 9:06 am

    Just swinging through. I finally had sex with that guy that I met back in june off tinder and liked but thought id never talk to again when the app stopped working on my phone. We had gone on a great date in june and since we started talking again had gone on two more dates. Hes very good looking, used to play college football for a big name school and is built like a brick house. Hes a ceo at a medical research company and very wealthy. I actually feel a bit intimidated by all this and like what does he want with me, a single mom of 5? But hes been very much the gentleman and so far so good. Anyway, the sex, was out of this world good!! Wow!! I dont know what will come out of the relationship as he travels a lot and who knows, maybe hes hiding a wife somewhere but its definitely helping my ability to get over S!! 😉

  25.  #25Millie on October 4, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    Thank you Femininewoman!

    I feel like I’m always pushing myself past my comfort zone. In my job, in my hobbies, socially….
    Challenge is something I thrive on.

    Helena sent a great email today that really struck a chord with me–about how focusing on “lack” and/or a “problem” in your life will only attract that same energy. As much as I’ve already known that, it triggered me to think of some deeper issues I have and am able to recognize. I notice that I go a little beyond “attracting” that negative energy, I actually create it. For example, today I wasn’t ready on time for my lesson and my teacher pointed in out right away. I felt bad, I felt scolded, and I clammed up. I started the lesson off feeling bad and in a negative space in my head, which of course led to me performing poorly in the beginning and him yelling at me that I know better–which made me feel worse and even less competent. The lesson ended on a good note though and he understands my psychology luckily, since he is much the perfectionist and over thinker as well. However, I projected that negative feeling onto him, I turned what was a mere fact of him pointing out I’m late to me feeling criticized, rejected, and not good enough. I projected all of those thoughts–not him. So, I’m noticing that I’m not even SEEING what I am attracting. How can I be if I’m so ready to project all that negativity onto every little happening?

    I feel like a water blister, tears ready to burst at the slight hint of disapproval or rejection. But it’s at an unconscious and yet conscious level. I find myself being very cold, clamming up, getting short and stern with people when I feel a small attack. I can’t help it, and yet later on I kick myself for acting that way. For pushing people away. And I get afraid that my teacher won’t want to teach me because of my emotional baggage. Even though I am a great student who learns quickly and really tries. I feel like there is always something I’m doing that’s disappointing.

    Helena pointed out that if you are seeking love outside yourself, and this includes validation–then it isn’t going to happen. And here I am seeking validation from my teacher, and validation means to me that everything is perfect. It’s like when he gives me a correction and I can’t do it right away, I feel bad. Even though he expresses that it takes time, but in the moment, the tone of his voice makes me feel like I should “get it” that minute. I start to feel frustrated.

    I just think all of this is stemming from this pain and insecurity I’m carrying around. I don’t really have a desire to be social lately, my job is really stressful, I feel like I’m waiting to get berated. I get emotionally beat up by my boss, by men on stupid dating sites, then I’m already sensitive by the time my lesson comes around and I want to do it well–that if it starts off on the wrong foot- I feel bad.

    Anyway, I’m just noticing that when interacting with men especially, I speak from a place of hurt and protectiveness.

    In contrast to work–where I am stepping up and feeling confident in my abilities–and yet feeling extremely tired and stressed. Thankfully, I have an exciting job interview coming up that I am getting prepared for!

  26.  #26Femininewoman on October 4, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    Millie one way to help yourself out of this is having a personal pep rally before you go face these men. I have mantras that I say to myself as I walk down the street. I do visualizations also these days talking myself and feeling deeply in whatever feeling I want to carry with me for the day. Last week a guy walked over to me after one of such sessions and said to me “wow you are glowing”. I can’t tell the last time something like that happened.

  27.  #27Millie on October 4, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    Femininewoman good idea!! I just wish I could go back in time and snap myself out of it. Why is being happy and relaxed and believing in yourself (and others) so hard?!

  28.  #28Emerson on October 4, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    Hello sirens!
    It’s always good to revisit empowering our feminine side…I’ve forgotten some of my “skills” or tools I should say…such as leaning back and waterwheeling…
    I haven’t been using them.
    In fact I’ve leaned forward alot and it feels blah….
    it’s ok I’m not beating myself up but after the fact, I realized it.
    In one instance I leaned forward to “remind” or “confirm” plans for the next day…and the plans were made, only to be cancelled less than an hour before. I should never have leaned forward and just let it play out if he would have confirmed or not. Then I got upset and hurt that the plans were cancelled last minute.

    When I stepped back and looked at the texts, I realized what I did. oopsies…I leaned back and over functioned by confirming and reminding….

    I still have a flame for my former coworker who is married, (this story is not about him) and it is haunting me because I don’t date married men. He started flirting before I knew he was married…so I have had to squash the feelings since I found out…it’s just been harmless flirting but still…

    I feel a bit drained.

  29.  #29Emerson on October 4, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Hi Millie, I can relate to what you were saying about work. I have a stressful job and just started with a new boss and a new department. My new boss is wonderful, better than the last one. I am thankful. My job is demanding and stressful. I feel a lot of pressure to be liked and be perfect. i feel sensitive too. I put up a good front so to speak, so I fool most people.
    At work I feel this is needed so I can get through the day.

    Often after work I just feel like crying. I don’t have anyone to go home to and cook dinner with. I feel lonely and bored after work often. I have things to do but sometimes I feel weary and just want a quiet evenign at home but not by myself. I feel lonely and friends are busy and live far away.
    it’s just weird that my life has ended up like this where I spend about 6 evenings a week by myself.

  30.  #30Indigo on October 5, 2015 at 12:01 am

    Hi Emerson,

    I also live alone and used to feel like you, however these days I almost long for a little more time to myself and this is a much better place to be. A good way to get out of this funk that you find yourself in is just to start being a “yes person”. Just be open to every opportunity and every invitation, even if you’re not sure whether you will enjoy yourself, or even if it’s not the “perfect” place to meet a new man. Seek out groups of like-minded people who are welcoming and warm. Accept dates with men whom you may feel a bit unsure about, visit plays and talks and gallery openings, anything which offers something of interest to you where you can surround yourself with other people. Even go to church or a religious service if you feel up to it, as people tend to be very welcoming and friendly there. Basically, if you open yourself to it, you will find that everywhere you look there are people wanting friends and to make a connection, just like you. And once you start the ball rolling, the momentum brings more of these opportunities into your life. I’ve found the key is not to set your expectations too high. Just go with openness and curiosity and warmth.

  31.  #31Femininewoman on October 5, 2015 at 3:14 am

    It isn’t easy at first, but one of the greatest gifts you could ever give someone who makes your heart soar is the freedom to learn their own lessons, at their own pace.

    Even trickier is discovering that one of the greatest gifts you could ever give someone who gets on your nerves is the freedom to learn their own lessons, at their own pace.

    And perhaps most challenging of all is understanding that one of the greatest gifts you could ever give yourself is the realization that your heart soaring and your nerves fraying have never been dependent upon other people and their lessons.

    The Universe

  32.  #32HeartBeat on October 5, 2015 at 9:05 am

    I felt jangled today.
    Sitting in a coffee shop, drinking thick velvety hot chocolate and sitting soft eyed looking over abstract art that reminded me of the ocean.
    The waiter approaches.
    6 foot 4 of broad shoulders in a tailored shirt.
    I feel a pleasant pulse in my chest and I feel a little giddy.
    Suddenly panic shoots through me.
    I place my order.
    I’m leaning back, breathing, he doesn’t make eye contact or really engage me. He leaves my table.
    I sit there and I think about what I may have done in the past. What I could have done.
    I would have sat up straighter, leant forward to rest my elbows on the table. Made friendly banter.
    Smiling and saying thank you suddenly didn’t seem loud or clear enough.
    I don’t understand what would motivate a man to approach me without those things..
    I don’t feel secure that a man would want me without all those added things.
    I feel scared when I think that.
    The thought then suddenly hit me that the guy for me WOULD be interested. Would engage me. Suddenly I felt free and spaciously sweet.

    Still though, I feel worried that men won’t approach me.
    I know the leaning in pushes away.
    But in the leaning back, I feel anxious that they won’t want me.
    Thoughts that I’m not feminine enough despite my best efforts leave me feeling anxious, jagged and lonely.
    I want to feel clearer on this.

  33.  #33April Rose on October 5, 2015 at 10:02 am

    Indigo re:16

    I too am deeply curious about ” how the men in our lives are a reflection of what’s going on inside us”.
    I have puzzled and pondered over this a lot.

    What I have concluded is that EVERYTHING I perceive in the world around me reflects what is going on in my subconscious mind.

    I have just bought and worked with a program called ‘Soulmate Shortcut’ by Orna and Matthew Walters. They promise that working with this program will reveal our personal ‘love imprint’, meaning the subconscious block(s) to finding and creating a happy ever after with our beloved.

    It was late at night when I started on the exercises outlined in the program. I was exhausted, having had little sleep in the preceding days. Yet I knew it was the right time to work on my love imprint.

    At one point as I was writing, I found myself going into a stream of consciousness, full of emotions and anger, feeling as if I was four years old ranting against the injustices I was experiencing in my family.

    I wrote and wrote and raged and wrote some more.

    When the time came (in a later exercise) to identify my love imprint, it was so clear. It jumped out at me many times over in the words I had written from the soup of my emotions.

    In the days since having those realisations, I have been able to see why I have been having the experiences I’ve been having. My love imprint has affected my whole life, by distorting my perception through the lens of a powerful limiting belief.

    I have had glimpses today, of feeling like my baby self. What I mean by that is that I have felt so fresh and new and simple. Seeing life through the lens of love. Being a being of love, without fear or rage or grief, with neither agenda nor baggage. In a simple state of happiness that has no cause.

    I am very curious to see what my interactions reflect back to me from here onwards.

  34.  #34Azure Blu on October 5, 2015 at 11:39 am

    April Rose…
    Gee this all sounds profound and powerful!!
    I feel happy reading the brakthrough you are feeling!

    The calm and simple love that you are feeling for yourself and others afterwords!
    Ahhh… sigh of wonderment!
    Thank you for sharing!

  35.  #35Femininewoman on October 5, 2015 at 11:46 am

    Oh my. Thank you April Rose for sharing that.

  36.  #36Azure Blu on October 5, 2015 at 11:57 am

    Crazy update on Spirit and me…
    in the past three weeks he has been asking to see me 2-3 times a week… and at least 3 of those times
    I had to say no as I had previously accepted dates with other men… Also I have ended a couple of my dates with him early as I wanted to get to bed earlier.
    I hardly ever say NO to Spirit!!
    And I’ve been MORE leaned back than ever… truly just taking loveing care of ME!!
    AND being warm and receiving with him…
    BUT being authentic and truthful (in a very soft feminine way)
    Our last few dates he has been VERY warm and open
    THE most he has ever been in the year we have been dating
    He started talking about exclusivity last Wed. evening over texting, talking on the phone and facetime…
    I didn’t push any agenda from me,,,
    I’m NOT sure I want that anymore from him
    our religious and political beliefs are opposite
    NOT MY vision of MY happy life

    So 3 days went by and i hadn’t heard from him…
    I wanted to go for a walk in my favorite park
    but DONT go alone as It is deep in the woods
    Sooo i thought… I’ll ask him to go with me…
    he said ok.
    we went… had a GREAT time…
    THEN he wanted to go to the store together and buy steak and vegetables to make dinner at my place!!!
    I was THRILLED I have been wanting to do this with him for 6 months!! (BUT I never voiced it, cause it felt VERY out of balance with him being SOOO leaned back)
    I shared how happy i was… sang to him in the grocery store.
    Was open and receptive. HE smilled and laughed with me about my enthusiasm and we came to my house and Cooked TOGETHER!!! AGAIN
    I was open and vulnerable about how happy i was… sang to him while we cooked.. He loved it!!
    I loved it!!! We had a great time together..
    He were sooo relaxed together… his heart was so open… he talked about his religious fervor (quoting scriptures) and I listened… engaged a little…
    and then lightly made a joke and he laughed and
    stopped talking about it…
    Did the same with his political feelings
    I STAYED calm even though he was trying to engage me
    YAY me!!! I have been working REALLY hard to stop my extreme reaction to political and religious discussions!!!
    To listen respectfully and share my feelings by asking
    I’m wondering if you have heard it from this point of view… or something like that
    WOW it makes such a HUGE difference…

  37.  #37Azure Blu on October 5, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    Heartbeat #32
    I totally enjoy your riffing here…
    I feel interested and curious about
    how well you do this.
    And the process.
    tahnk you

  38.  #38Senior Lady Vibe on October 5, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    I recently enjoyed watching this one minute video of a four-year-old girl doing her daily affirmation. The vid’s had about 17 million views!

    Cute. 🙂 Inspiring too…

    Jessica’s “Daily Affirmation”


  39.  #39Senior Lady Vibe on October 5, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    “personal pep rally”

    I like that. I think that’s what the little girl was doing too.

    Go, little girl.

  40.  #40Azure Blu on October 5, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    Love this… she’s sooo enthusiastic..
    What a GREAT way to dance yourself into
    your morning!

  41.  #41Senior Lady Vibe on October 5, 2015 at 1:25 pm

    I clicked the Tatia link but I received something else and nothing about a webinar. So maybe there will be a replay link?

  42.  #42Senior Lady Vibe on October 5, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    @ Azure Blu

    I love it too. LOL Glad you did also. 🙂


  43.  #43Ayesha on October 5, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    Hello Sirens!

    I am feeling so good right now. I JUST GOT DUMPED YESTERDAY! Haha. By a really wonderful sweet, sweet, kind, cute boy I was dating for a few weeks. And I knew it was coming because I was all needy and not centered and pushing him for sex and wanting him to fill a void in me. And.. it was crushing. He said he couldn’t do it and that it felt unhealthy. And wanted to be straight with me and not just disappear. (Sigh, what a nice boy.)

    Well, I feel like a pro in getting dumped now. And feeling broken and unwhole. And I’m making a list of all the things I DON’T want to do in this situation. i don’t want to use this situation as an excuse to get depressed (i realized i actually LOVE being depressed, dont have to do anything! haha). I dont want to get depressed and use this situation as an excuse to not take responsibility for my life, for my wellbeing, for my happiness, for my love life, for my career, for my sex appeal… no. i say no! Enough of that!

    You know what is SHOCKING? i feel incredibly grateful for all the lessons that this very painful breakup is bringing me. Like about all the things I need to do for myself to make myself happy and loved up and ok sexually and whole and successful and not broke. I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve been doing a lot of meditation and breathing. Trying to surrender to what is, and fall in love with what is, and keep in mind where I want to go/be.

    I love you all so so much, especially you, Rori, my Siren Guru 😉 I send you all, and myself, and my baby self, and my broken teenager slutty self, and my 30 year old holy-shit-im-a-woman-now self, so so so much love and so many hugs, and apple pie (fall is here!) and I have a date on thursday and therapy on wednesday and LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!!


  44.  #44Dixie on October 5, 2015 at 3:23 pm


    I love hearing about your journey with Spirit…. It feels so uplifting to hear how you have just relaxed into being yourself….

    Millie, Emerson….yes, I’ve felt this way too: high functioning in masculine energy at work, “leading”, “teaching”, “advising” (well I am a teacher after all, :). It’s taken a lot of time to realize that I don’t have to “do” anything like that in a relationship. And yes, sometimes I have those evenings too, with a good, luxurious cry about all sorts of things, including falling asleep by myself. But the only difference is that I don’t fight it. I sink into those feelings, let them wrap around me, because I feel comforted by the release of tears. And then, as Indigo mentioned, I too go along with the plans and invitations presented to me by others, and invite my friends to things I want to do. It’s not always the easiest feeling, but the slow unfolding of my life…. I don’t want to rush this feeling. It feels good.

    I’ve become okay with the softer, more vulnerable side of myself this past year… And instead of beating myself up over stuff, it’s so much easier to be softer and gentler and more forgiving with myself. I don’t know if this is linked to it, but D. has also shifted….. Very masculine and take charge at work, but so tender and loving and sweet with me.

    I’m not sure if he’s my Forever Man, but I do know that the anxiousness is at bay. I can feel that the easier I am with myself, the easier it is for others to come close.

  45.  #45Femininewoman on October 5, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    Thank you Tatia. I learned so much about into feelings and expressing them

  46.  #46Emerson on October 5, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    Indigo 30
    Thank you so much for your reply and I feel heard…I feel touched by your response and my eyes got full with tears as I read it. It felt nice to read your suggestions and although I have thought about doing some of those things, it feels good to be encouraged and hear that someone cares enough to give me a nudge…I have been toying with the idea of going to church again and in order to do that I need to let go of being so judgmental against myself.

    I feel like I don’t fit in because I don’t have kids and a husband, but maybe it’s me judging myself more than any of the people at church. I need to let go. I do miss the community and the spiritual encouragement.

    Thank you sirens for “listening” and Indigo I feel connected to your words….



  47.  #47Emerson on October 5, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    Indigo I also like what you said about saying YES to suggestions! Not long ago, I watched the movie “yes man” and found it hilarious and inspiring!

  48.  #48Indigo on October 5, 2015 at 10:05 pm


    You’re so very welcome. It is these “nudges” from people which have kept me going in difficult or lonely times. Could never get by without my cheerleaders.

  49.  #49Victoria on October 6, 2015 at 1:03 am

    I absolutely loved your update about Spirit. I could kind of feel his presence in the background and it seems to me that the strong attraction you have to him is what is stopping you from accepting exclusivity with the other guy. It also fully explains why the other guy got upset and was speaking foul language to you: he probably senses the very strong presence of another man.
    I absolutely love this story. I think men love (crave) competition and you are giving them both the time of their life by allowing you to compete for your attention! You are a diva! A rock star!

  50.  #50Azure Blu on October 6, 2015 at 5:25 am

    I totally LOVE what you are sharing here!!!

    and the lessons you chose to learn from this!!

    I love this:
    “(i realized i actually LOVE being depressed, dont have to do anything! haha). I dont want to get depressed and use this situation as an excuse to not take responsibility for my life, for my wellbeing, for my happiness, for my love life, for my career, for my sex appeal… no. i say no! Enough of that! ”

    I too have seen how my NEEDY, unwhole self
    has pushed Spirit (and other CDs I’ve felt crazy chemistry for) away.

    Every time we would be exclusive
    I would feel too needy and vulnerable and my vibrations and personality would change
    from rock star diva (while dating other cds) to clinging violet when being exclusive with him.

    I’m not sure what came first…
    he would freak out about being exclusive and that would push EVERY unworthy, abandoned button in my body….

    Sooo… we have both chilled out over the year of dating…
    Maybe he has had time to recover from loving and loosing a lover… (he never really shared any of that)
    and as Dominique says… healing himself from my healing heart
    I know I have needed time to
    learn to LOVE me MORE
    practice being vulnerable,
    softer, warmer,
    and Strong on the inside

    and have listened to and responded to each others need for connection without pushing each other around.

  51.  #51Femininewoman on October 6, 2015 at 5:27 am

    Ayeshia I feel your exuberance radiating through the screen at me

  52.  #52Azure Blu on October 6, 2015 at 6:13 am

    Victoria #50
    Thank you Cheerleader!!

    I hadn’t thought about Men’s love for competition!!!

    Also *MY* Degree of Difficulty has gone way up…
    I am able to share warmly and softly what *I* want…
    and NOT get too anxious while holding my boundaries..
    Much easier while I date others…

    RM did call and apologies last week… said he was so sorry
    and realized he doesn’t like how he gets when he has had too much to drink…
    He said he has started cutting back and has lost weight –
    Part of my NOT wanting to be exclusive with RM
    is because he isn’t as athletic as I would like…
    something about difficulty walking, balance (he won’t canoe or kayak)
    I believe he has more medical issues that he hasn’t shared yet.
    It’s ONLY been 2 months… I’m NOT in a hurry!!

    I’d LOVE to be with someone… But the MORE I LOVE ME
    The closer I get to being with the right man for MY life!!
    Yay Rori and allllll her wonderful coaches
    EVERYONE here on Siren Island who give me courage, strength and inspiration
    to live a WONDER— FULL life!

  53.  #53Azure Blu on October 6, 2015 at 7:00 am

    How are you and Your NEW man doing?
    I’m feeling very curious….

  54.  #54Victoria on October 6, 2015 at 7:56 am

    Everything is so ok, that there is nothing to tell. I mean, I don’t want to jinx it, but he is doing everything by the book. I have zero time left for other CDs. And, there are guys who I used to CD still trying to see me, and I am wondering what to do with them. Actually, I think I would enjoy some time alone, but for the moment still have not asked him for that.
    I wanted to say also, I so loved what you said about you not being in a hurry. I am not in a hurry either, and this is such a new and wonderful and liberating feeling. I have no urgency, it has only been a few months.
    Do you remember I had a CD way back last year who stood me up for a date and I was pissed to the point of un-friending him on FB? He has asked to see me tomorrow, very persistently, I kept putting off seeing him a few times, but he has begged me for a coffee date tomorrow so I am thinking I will give him the chance to hear him out…
    Life if good.

  55.  #55Azure Blu on October 6, 2015 at 8:02 am

    Ahhhh… you too are a Diva, Siren rock star!
    I’m so glad this new guy (what are you calling him on here?) is feeling GOOOOOD!
    and continuing to cding others!

    Ahhh the self love and leaning back of
    there is NO HURRY!

    Thank you for sharing!

  56.  #56April Rose on October 6, 2015 at 2:55 pm


    You sound great. So soft and relaxed.

    I’ve been feeling curious – did you find the e-book useful (the one about how to share and meet each other’s core needs in relationship)?

  57.  #57Azure Blu on October 6, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    April Rose…
    Yes,… thank you for reminding me…
    We go through soooo MANY helpful
    insights here.

    I did read that and download it…
    I want to take another look at it…
    It would be fun to go over some of this with Spirit and other cds… a little at a time!!

  58.  #58Millie on October 6, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    So amazing Victoria!!! Yay you!

    I’ve been wondering how Andrea is doing??!!! If you are there sweet siren?!

    No new CDs for me. I have my number out to a few men online but not much has come of it. One I felt excited to meet but he stopped contacting me, I feel a little bummed about it. Another guy wants me meet, but I don’t feel very into it. A few others the conversation went really awkwardly.

    M is still on my mind as much as I want to murder any thoughts with a knife. I’m debating whether to delete our text thread… I haven’t read over anything for months… But I don’t know, knowing it’s there is comforting. I wonder if anything will ever feel that special again…

    I want to feel lots of men swimming around me..a mermaid on a rock, ships searching for shore, searching for me…. Can that be possible…

  59.  #59Victoria on October 7, 2015 at 12:32 am

    I am here to tell you that yes, you will feel that special again, and even more special, and you will meet fantastic love and you will be smiling to yourself thinking about you used to worry that it will not happen again.
    As for M., I would delete all past corresondence with him. Keeping it is like keeping cigarettes at your desk while you are trying to quit. Just my two cents.

  60.  #60Indigo on October 7, 2015 at 8:21 am


    I SO agree with Victoria. A man will come along in time who will make you feel puzzled why you pined after M for so long. I promise you that this is true. You will feel all those wonderful feelings again and more.

    As for the correspondence, I eventually deleted most of my text/email/Skype conversations with D, but only when I was ready. I knew when that was, and you probably will too.

  61.  #61Azure Blu on October 7, 2015 at 8:37 am

    indigo #60
    Yes… I sooo agree with you…
    Millie… you WILL find a man who is EVEN more perfect for your life and how you want it…
    And what I see now… after letting go of my 2 yrs with BK… (thank you Rori)
    heart broken… physically and emotionally SICK
    I had more growing and learning
    and practicing to do
    and learning to love ALL of me…
    MY deamons, my angels and everything in between

    As Indigo says:
    YOU will know when the time is right to let go of photos and correspondents…
    There I NO reason to do any of it
    UNTIL *YOU* are ready…
    don’t cause yourself anymore anxiety by letting go
    too soon!!!
    That would be you…
    giving your tender, innocent heart
    the respect and tender care
    you so deserve!

    I have found when I give me all
    MY tender, warm, respect and kindness
    I am getting it back from
    sooo many men/people…

  62.  #62Femininewoman on October 7, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    Millie – M is still on my mind as much as I want to murder any thoughts with a knife. I’m debating whether to delete our text thread… I haven’t read over anything for months… But I don’t know, knowing it’s there is comforting. I wonder if anything will ever feel that special again…

    I want you to really think about this that you have written. Do you keep clothes around that you don’t wear for a long time? How about shoes and mail? How does your desk at work look? If you keep clutter around how do you make space for new things to come into your life?

    Was it you I wrote to recently about getting out of your comfort zone? The comment about comforting jumped out at me as a result of that. How do you grow and create new experiences without getting out of your comfort zone? Have you ever considered that the things we use for comfort are the things that keep us stuck?

  63.  #63Millie on October 7, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Thank you Indigo, Victoria, and Azure!! Your words of support and encouragement feel wonderful to hear!

    Femininewoman– I think it is so interesting that you bring up clutter… Yes, I do keep a lot of clothes that I don’t wear… I’m not a pack rat, but I have difficulty parting with physical items. It takes me a long time to distance myself from certain clothes for example, before I can give them away. And even then, as a child too… I used to think the clothes would feel abandoned and it would be so stressful for me to throw anything away. I’m not sure where that mentality came from, but I saved two napkins Mechanic did drawings on for me one of the first times we met… I have birthday cards from years ago, my tv is from ten years ago… I would definitely say I have trouble letting things go in my physical world much less in my emotional world. My office is cluttered but despite it all, I am pretty organized and am always cleaning and seeking organization. Which to me reflects a controlling characteristic more than letting go…

    So it would be an interesting and yet painful challenge to really throw things out that I am not comfortable with losing…

  64.  #64Femininewoman on October 7, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    Millie I believe that your last post have identified patterns of behavior where you making choices to hold yourself stuck. I also think you have identified controlling. Why do you think you would need to always be cleaning if you organized? Just some questions to ponder and maybe unearthed some patterns that are no longer serving you.

  65.  #65April Rose on October 7, 2015 at 3:38 pm


    I am fascinated by you bringing up the issue of clutter. It is a hot topic for me at the moment.
    While I understand that getting rid of stuff creates space energetically for new experiences in life, when it comes down to the practical application I stumble.

    I would love to have shelves and cupboards (closets) that are half empty. Then there would be room for the new.

    I even make piles of things (beginning with clothes) that I no longer use, wear or love. I intend to take them out of my house – giving them to charity usually.

    And then…. when the time comes…. I often can’t do it. It’s like, emotionally, I can’t bear the empty space.

    I put the things back in a pile somewhere and kid myself I’ll get rid of them another day.

    And so, as you so rightly say FW, I am choosing to stay stuck.

  66.  #66Jessie1000 on October 7, 2015 at 5:13 pm

    Hi girls
    I am going through a dry spell ugh
    no guys no dates no nothing
    What do I do?
    Even when I check plenty of fish I get nothing, just old creepy dudes who ask me for assss ugh
    What should I Do?
    WHere can I go besides a movie by myself?
    I need to get out of the house ugh
    my buddies are old like me and married
    you have any suggestions that worked for you?
    Jessie oxo

  67.  #67Indigo on October 8, 2015 at 12:04 am

    Try :
    * Art gallery exhibitions
    * Church and church socials and get-togethers
    * Singles and social groups in your area (you can search Facebook for these)
    * Going to listen to live music
    * hikes / birdwatching
    * plays and symphony concerts
    * farmer’s markets – it’s quite interesting to just sit down and have a cup of coffee and watch and smile at people as they walk past.

    These are just some suggestions off the top of my head. There is no reason to sit at home and be lonely!

  68.  #68Azure Blu on October 8, 2015 at 6:05 am

    i haven’t seen you here before…

    Those are great suggestions Indigo gave

    Also I have found Volunteering on a regular basis
    at art galleries, theater groups need ushers, United Way, local soup kitchens…etc
    And meet up groups with people/men enjoying the same things I do (make sure there are more men than women in these groups)

    I volunteer on a regular basis
    you have time to interact with other volunteers… see how the men interact with others… work together…
    I’ve met some charming and very community oriented men through my volunteering!

    Regarding your online dating
    Have you changed your photos…
    changed your profile? I tweak my profile all the time

    I wasn’t getting the quality of men I was wanting
    I started listening to free, youtube videos on how to write a good online profile.
    How to pose for a good photo
    I made big changes to my profile
    and now…
    Have sooo many men that are the quality I am looking for…
    Of course there are many that I just delete…
    Or only talk to once
    But it is worth it!!!

  69.  #69Man Bauswell on December 29, 2015 at 6:16 am

    Firefox / internet does not work but internet connection is excellent?