From Criticizing To Magic From Brenda Brewer

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Here’s a great guest post by Coach Brenda Brewer:

It’s so easy to want all that love, attention, adoration, and ultimately for your man to take care of you…

Because, that’s what you as a woman want, deep down, right?

And when you’re not getting it…well, it’s all too obvious to you!

So…you do all kinds of things and hope that he will reciprocate…

~ Cook nice dinners

~ Compliment him

~ Send him flirty texts letting him know we are thinking about him

~ Offer to “help” him with something he’s dealing with

~ Give him advice (you’re just being helpful, right?!!)

So when this doesn’t work…and you know it’s not because of how you FEEL…

You feel resentful!

So, when you see these things that he is not doing that you want him to do so it seems intuitive ~

You have to tell him what he’s doing wrong and how he should be doing it or what should be happening “between us” like:

~ We should be spending more time together

~ I should have met your friends by now

~ I should be meeting your family

~ You never take me anywhere nice

~ Why won’t you talk to me

~ Why don’t you clean up after yourself

Just, add your own here…I know you’ve got some!

Now, you may feel completely justified in wanting these things and not getting them…

But, the reason you are not getting them MAY NOT be the reason you may think…like…

He’s not being attentive enough because…he’s selfish?



Doesn’t love you???

Accckkkkkkk! This feels just awful.

And, I know you know what I am talking about…we have all been there.

If you have ever felt that sweet connection that you knew was the beginning of love then things started going south and you found yourself thinking these things…

You are missing the most important thing that has not crossed your mind at all in all of this drama.

His perspective.

He is a man.

Once you understand one crucial aspect of what it means to be a man, you could transform your relationship in an instant…


All of these narratives you create about not getting what you want and why it is all about YOU.

But, a relationship is between two people.

He is his own person with his own world around him.

Besides the fact, all of this stuff you are making up and acting out upon is wayyyyy too much work!

It’s exhausting and maddening.

Back to the simple truth of his being a man.

All you have to do is observe one thing that he does consistently…

It may be his career, softball league, band, kids, night out with the guys…whatever…

YOU don’t have to like it right at this moment…especially if you’ve been feeling left out or neglected (I’m not talking about REAL, mean neglect or abuse)

Just pick one

Men don’t care about having nice things done for them, compliments and they certainly don’t respond to nagging or ultimatums.

Have you ever seen guys greet each other with that guy handshake/hug thing and they say “Respect.”

They want to feel respected. For real.

Once you have picked one, doesn’t matter what it is just say:

“I really respect your dedication to ”

Now, you can put yourself in his shoes.

Then lean back and be quiet.

If he loves you…or wants to…

Once you get this one simple thing…and say this one simple sentence…you are going to feel like you just waved a magic wand.

You will feel butterflies.

You will have “roused the lion.”

You will feel a rush of masculine energy come from your man that will soften you and you will feel like a flower…

I’d love to hear how this works for you!



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