From Stuck And Grumpy to Unstuck And Scared

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I remember (and this still happens) that I start to notice feeling grumpy and complaining and unhappy – and then I notice that under those thoughts and feelings, I’m afraid.

I’m afraid of doing something different and a bit new and scary that would change the complaining, grumpy – yes – but replace the grumpy with outright fear.

And then, something shows up that appeals to me.

Someplace to go, something to do, something to say, someway to move.

Then I notice that this new impulse either feels in the same wheelhouse place as the complaining grumpy stuff (and then I know I’m just entertaining another “placeholder”) – or it shows up as a bit of a thrill.

When it shows up as a bit of a thrill – I follow it…and then, whatever happens, that original cycle of staying stuck is over.

Everything changes, because I have seen a way out.

Now – it’s up to me to choose which way to go when I first notice the grumpy feeling and the complaining thoughts.

Do I want to go down that grumpy route, or do I want to feel the fear and go through it?

Now, as I make these choices and most often land on the “fear” side (it feels like a much more peaceful place to be, despite the fear of even just allowing the fear to be felt) – the scary is becoming a little bit less scary, and the grumpy is a little bit less “simple.”

The grumpy starts to feel less worthwhile, and less easy.

It doesn’t have the old glamour it had, like a “secret” go-to place that was once old, familiar and seemingly “safe.”

Instead, it actually feels a little bit “old.”

A little boring and same-old-same-old.

Fear starts to feel now a bit like a door opening.

Perhaps it’s not fear, anyway – perhaps it’s excitement!

Love, Rori

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