Get Notes From The Universe

Untitled design (14)

031- 250It’s been years, and I still read every note, every day. Go get yours from Mike Dooley–>>

…this one knocked me out:

“Rori, I keep telling ’em that it’s a jungle out there; that time and space isn’t a place for “scaredies”; that toes are stubbed, hearts are broken, and dreams can seem to be shattered into a million pieces. I tell ’em that the illusions are so captivating, they won’t even remember who they really are. And that the emotions can be so painful, at times they might fleetingly wish they had never been born.

But it’s like, that just makes them want to go even more.

Adventurers.

Tallyho,
The Universe”

Every day, when a”Note From The Universe” shows up in my inbox – I stop everything I’m doing and read it…I have yet to be anything but moved by them…

Love, Rori

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84 Comments

  1.  #1Femininewoman on April 17, 2014 at 9:03 am

    Tallyho



  2.  #2Valarie O'Ryan on April 17, 2014 at 10:51 am

    I love my notes from the Universe ๐Ÿ™‚



  3.  #3Mercedes on April 17, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    I need to start reading these again. I get them daily but I never open them anymore. I wonder why….

    Much Love,
    Mercedes



  4.  #4Mercedes on April 17, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    *tap* *tap* Is this thing on??



  5.  #5Cรฉcilia on April 17, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    Wow, these sound cool, how do I get these?
    The link doesn’t work on my computer… Is it just me?



  6.  #6Helena Hart on April 17, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    Cecilia – 5 – They’re awesome! You can get them by going to http://www.tut.com and signing up there. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Love, Helena



  7.  #7Emerson on April 17, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    Hi sirens! Wow I have had a bit of a breakthrough in my leaning back…it’s been tough but I have resisted my feelings of urgency and refrained from contacting cutecityCD !!!
    I feel so good about it…now I have a date with a new guy I met online for Sunday and chatting with 2 others! All seem really nice!
    We shall see!
    I feel so good! Loving the tools! I held my bondaries in a strong and soft way without worrying about the outcome and it all worked out…



  8.  #8Emerson on April 17, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    Don’t get me wrong I would love to hear from cutecityCD !!! But if I don’t, so be it!
    I am planning to remain open and receptive to meeting new people !!



  9.  #9Millie on April 18, 2014 at 1:09 am

    It’s not for scaredies…I love that! I toggle between feeling on top of the world and the bottom. A pendulum of succumbing to fear, the choking sensation that grips me…and the willingness to face it , the ready to laugh, tease, and flirt with life sensation I wish to have more of. Well ladies, I’m off to Las Vegas for the weekend! Excited to let all my cares call by the wayside and have fun!! Have a great weekend ladies!



  10.  #10Millie on April 18, 2014 at 1:56 am

    You know what I just realized…thinking about relationships makes me feel depressed. Reading love advice newsletters that remind me of all things I do wrong. They make me think about all the mistakes I’ve made, all the times my vibe was needy….reading about relationships turns my internal dial down. Last night it was very down and the. I started watching a dance movie. I love to dance! I could feel myself lifting out of that depression, the dial training up and I felt alive. So alive I got up even though it was like one in the morning and did all these crazy dance stretches. This Vegas trip is coming at a good time. Maybe I need to take a break and stop churning what seems to be an open wound.



  11.  #11Emerson on April 18, 2014 at 5:43 am

    Sirens I feel thankful today…
    I feel thankful for my parents.
    I feel thankful for my job.
    I feel thankful for my health.
    I feel curious about my future …



  12.  #12Emerson on April 18, 2014 at 5:45 am

    Millie I feel inspired reading your post about dancing.
    Dancing is very therapeutic and I wish I was more skilled but I do enjoy it…



  13.  #13Luzydel on April 18, 2014 at 6:24 am

    I realized something this past Wednesday that totally changed me a little. I met with cuteCd at a starbucks because we need to talk and set things clear. I didn’t want to go because I felt it was sort of a “breakup” but he felt that doing it over text didn’t seem right.

    It was a bit breakthrough for both of us, for the first time I was vulnerable without taking my clothes off (not that I do that often ๐Ÿ™‚ ) After that we became closer and decided to be in a serious committed relationship. We both were judging each other, we both were making assumptions. I always thought I was the one afraid, but he was afraid as well. the more honestly I spoke, the closer I felt him, but magically I wasn’t afraid of loosing him. I am not afraid of loosing him… and the less fearful I get, the closer he gets to me… The more I do for me, the more things he wants to do with me… I realized the leaning back as a form of punishment was actually not working. Sometimes we have to just be in front of a man, with our naked souls and not our bodies. Sometimes we have to be just honest and say This is what I want, can you give it to me? if not then that is fine, I am not going to make you do it, but if you want to be with me, this is what it is important to me.

    But also listen to his needs, can you provide that to him? if not that is fine, do not make him do it. I am glad I did not just rejected him and said “forget it” I m done… I am glad I let my walls down. I am glad I tested my fears…

    To be continued… ๐Ÿ˜‰



  14.  #14Dominique on April 18, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Luzydel – so beautiful, yay you! xxoo



  15.  #15Femininewoman on April 18, 2014 at 7:25 am

    Luzydel I feel truly deeply inspired by your words.



  16.  #16LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 8:11 am

    Good Morning Sirens!

    Going to spam the blog for a little bit this morning ๐Ÿ˜€

    Wanted to share a flow of feelings that came to me this morning.

    I feel free. I feel good. I feel flowing.

    I fully embrace the approach of No Imaginary Relationships now. It’s been a long time coming.

    Circular dating and feeling my feelings help me stay present and aware in my life. I enjoy my life very much, whether or not I’m in love or being loved by a man.

    I want and need love, but it’s different now. I can still live and grow and enjoy. I’m not “looking” anymore. I’m receiving. Feeling what I feel about what I’m receiving. And red flags often equal toxic situations.

    In matters of the heart I take my time now. Feeling me and how a makes me feel. How I feel about what I feel for him. This is not a negative process either – this does not affect my joy.

    I recently questioned why I have not been circular dating so much and the answer is clear – my picker is working now! Yay me!!!

    I don’t want to date men who send up red flags for me. I don’t want to go out with them or talk to them on the phone. This leads to guys always approaching me. I used to give these guys CD names and consider them part of the circle of men, but I see the red flags now, very quickly. Very very. Like Lightening fast. And I have compassion for them. I don’t want to blame or judge anyone for these feelings and realizations. I just want to be free of the drama. Free from wasting my precious time. I could be walking the beach instead.

    I’m heart open and real. I don’t want to go down that road with a man who makes me feel confused, anxious, unsure or ignored. These feelings come up fast lately. It’s not a fit. We are not on the same page.

    So actually, I have been circular dating, lol.

    My picker is working well. I smile graciously, engage in conversation, but staying open and honest, I don’t want to give them my number. I don’t want to go to dinner or lunch with them. I see and smell drama and I want to stay free of that. And it’s not that the man is drama, it’s that the situation is going to be drama. I can feel it a mile away . . . the ex, the fwb, the kids, the friends. It’s all the story of our personal lives and how we blend them, how we live it.

    You are how you live. How much of your personal story do you share? How much can you not share when we live our lives day by day. Our families, our friends, our work, our joy and our dreams. All of these things make us what we are. Who the man sees. I know who I am. I love who I am. I love the drama that creeps up in my family because I love my family. I deal with them how I deal with them. . . with love.

    So not judging a man, but listening and observing the life he is living. Does he know himself? Does he love himself? What is the drama in his life. Again, no judgment, but how does it make me feel. How does it affect how he treats me. Example: You are having a conversation and his phone rings. Does he answer it. Does he comment about it. Does he take the call. Is it business, is it not business. I just observe. So wow, I guess I have become an observer of men now. Instead of judging, I feel happier observing and seeing how those observations make me feel. I avoid a lot of crap now.

    And being even more honest, I don’t approach every man who shows interest in me as a potential CD anymore! It could be a business connection, or just someone I cross paths with who I bestow a pleasant word or a lovely smile. Those short chance meetings are CDing! I love those moments because I remain free.

    For those guys who do make me feel good? I’m Taking my time to discover how that man makes me feel over time. And its during this stretch of time when red flags show up (if there are any).

    Not judging, but hey, if it’s not for me then I do not continue down that path with that man. In the past I would think that the red flags were about ME (silly girl, lol)!

    Now I understand it is not about me but how someone else is making me feel. It is about being present and aware. The red flags slow me down with those attraction and love feelings swirling inside of me. I don’t project them onto guys any more. I let them flow freely into the wind like pretty balloons and I just radiate with those lovely feelings. About me, for me.

    Back to the man and the red flags. I’m FREE!!! Escaping even, the feelings I don’t want to feel. The cycle of imaginary relationship at a man’s will. When he wants to have sex, when he wants to go out, when he show me off as arm candy. NO! If he is not giving to me . . . If I am not receiving, and feeling good about what I am receiving, then I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be there. I don’t want to spend that time with him. I could enjoy my time otherwise.

    This is what dating looks like to me now.



  17.  #17BeLoved on April 18, 2014 at 8:15 am

    I woke up feeling so refreshed and happy this morning, waking from a dream that felt so yummy!

    I met a man and went home with him, I felt good and comfortable with him and gave him a massage.
    After, it felt a little to “leany forward” so I leaned back and did my own thing in another room.

    While I was lying back, relaxing, another man came up to me and was snuggling and kissing me and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
    It felt so good and so sweet, I felt happy and soft and bubbly ๐Ÿ™‚

    The first guy, in the meantime, felt so good and energized from the massage I gave him, he totally rearranged all of the furniture in the other room, making it look great and modern.

    So much yum going on in my dreamtime!

    It carried over to my waking morning.
    I felt soft and tender during my morning shake.
    Contemplating the ‘mother’ wound.

    Tapping into old feelings of betrayal, and how feeling unloved and unwanted by my mother was the deepest cut of all and how I couldn’t really love with all of my heart until the ‘mother’ hurt healed.

    I shook through it and felt so good! My mind was reviewing all of the things I’ve learned along the way about forgiveness and acceptance.

    I felt the irrational belief that I HAD to hurt and HAD to have a sh!tty life and HAD to be f*cked up just to PROVE to my mom what a sh!tty mom she was and how much she hurt me…

    Tiny threads of punishing her through punishing myself letting go, dissolving.

    oy, hahaha.

    I felt into how truly sorry I felt that I couldn’t be who she wanted.

    I feel joy at feeling how deeply I love myself and truly love who I am.

    I feel yum, I feel yum, I feel yummmmmmm this morning!
    mmmmmmmmmm

    Letting go, and feeling so so so good.



  18.  #18LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 8:20 am

    I saw a post on facebook about dealing with narcissistic people, and how those who buy their tales of being the victim become flying monkeys for them. The flying monkeys from the wizard of oz are the reference there. They did the bidding of the wicked witch. I remember being a flying monkey for a man. He was the victim and I was there to help and fix. I saw it clearly after a while and knew something was off about the whole situation. it was interesting to read this article though, shed some light on it in a psychological manner. Interesting, I studied clinical psychology for two years and then changed majors. This article sparked a memory for me about wanting to understand the problems of others because I wanted to help people. I wanted to understand them. I guess the whole thing triggered me, the thought of flying monkeys and all.

    The article is at http://echorecovery.blogspot.com/2013/12/flying-monkeys-no-contact-or-low-contact.html



  19.  #19LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 8:26 am

    What a beautiful feeling day! I have a lot to do but just feel like sharing my feelings and blogging and stuff. lol and spamming the siren island blog. I feel bad for writing and not reading. I’ll read later. I have to flow with what I’m feeling right now. I feel good and sharing.



  20.  #20Andrea on April 18, 2014 at 8:58 am

    Love Always # 16… Woah! I want to copy and paste for my own private folder and reading every once in a while. I just feel so resonate with that, My picker is perfecting…
    Thank you for sharing that. What a wonderful place to be. I feel so peaceful and happy in resting in your words.



  21.  #21Indigo on April 18, 2014 at 9:05 am

    Millie 10,

    I feel the same way! Advice can really make you feel down on yourself… then again, it’s also a chance to love yourself. For who hasn’t made mistakes. It’s a chance to love our mistakes and imperfections. But I do know what you’re saying. Many times, I just don’t want to hear it.

    I was chatting with my mom last night, and she was reminding me that my journey may seem messy to me, but it is exactly how it needs to be FOR ME.



  22.  #22LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 9:13 am

    Here’s a happy sounding instrumental:

    http://youtu.be/RC1SSN_OoL0



  23.  #23GlowStix on April 18, 2014 at 9:32 am

    I live solely for the experience of living. Ups, downs, backwardses and sidewayses (those are words! I swear! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) are all a part of that experience. It’s the only thing that drives me. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Tally ho indeed.



  24.  #24GlowStix on April 18, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Today I am softening, leaning back. Sunk into my belly feelings. I felt thrown over a fence and now i’m on the other side and it’s different.
    Whatever needs to show up will show up and i’ll take it as it comes. Thanks.



  25.  #25Pamelahealing on April 18, 2014 at 10:10 am

    I remember the first day I felt free to be me. I couldn’t believe that it was okay to be alone. It was also okay to be with a man but not just any man. I remember the first time I walked out in public or at an event without checking out who was looking at me. I didn’t realize it at the time but this was the beginning of my beginning to love myself. Amazing. ๐Ÿ™‚



  26.  #26LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Sail away sail away sail away

    http://youtu.be/2zkjQVh5KmQ



  27.  #27LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Yay Andrea!!!

    Perfecting! I love that!



  28.  #28April Rose on April 18, 2014 at 10:49 am

    Something someone said on the Love On Purpose interviews yesterday has sent me into a spin.

    She was talking about the 4 types of men who won’t approach you or initiate with you.
    1. he’s gay
    2. he’s already in a relationship
    3. you’re not his type
    4. HE’S THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE TYPE WHO IS USED TO WOMEN APPROACHING HIM/ SERVING *HIM*โ€ฆโ€ฆ

    Then they spoke at length about type 4. Saying that he doesn’t want a relationship. He just wants you to do stuff for him.

    I feel like I just woke up. And I want to hug Orna and Matthew Walters, and Patti Stanger.

    Patti was so direct, I loved her no-nonsense approach. She said (about type 4) “Don’t try to hook that fish. That’s a bad fish. That guy’s not gonna move the relationship forward. You’re gonna be miserable. He’s not male – he’s a female in the guise of a male body”.



  29.  #29Veronica on April 18, 2014 at 11:08 am

    From the previous thread:
    Mercedes โ€“ 150 โ€“ I hope youโ€™re feeling much better today, it seemed like in one day that you were recovering quite quickly.
    I read a few of the posts on your website โ€“ I like the one post (Love yourselfโ€ฆreally love yourself!!Itโ€™s time!), I thought it had an interesting way of putting the idea across. And I do ask the question โ€˜would I say this to someone I love?โ€™. It feels good to know of this โ€“ itโ€™s like a good tool for people who do so much for their loved ones. Thank you. Just my opinion: I think this post should be out there, a guest article in a magazine/website, because it has a different perspective.



  30.  #30Veronica on April 18, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Luzydel โ€“ 13 โ€“ Wow. And so beautiful. My sister wanted me to read out loud what you had written, twice. Thank you so much for sharing : )

    LoveAlways โ€“ 16 โ€“ Oh my itโ€™s like Iโ€™m reading the Siren Manifesto. Awesome and I want to just cheer and shout YES! I read this to my sister too.

    Beloved โ€“ 17 โ€“ That dream has me glowing smiling : )

    Lots to go into my siren-inspiration file โ€“ Iโ€™m feeling so happy to be here.



  31.  #31Veronica on April 18, 2014 at 11:30 am

    Whenever I have the urge to dwell on BM, there’s also this incredibly compassionate feeling of ‘this is not a loving thing for you’. Then, a warm expanding smiling energy expands in my heart.



  32.  #32Mercedes on April 18, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Veronica: Thank you so much! I am feeling quite a bit better today. Not 100% which is soooo unusual for me. I guess my body is just not quite ready to make a full recovery but fortunately for me, I’m not all that busy and I can rest and care for myself. That feels really good. Plus, with my voice being almost gone, it allows more time to just “be” and not be talking. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I really liked how that article turned out as well. I like the part about feeding myself. About showing myself that i love myself by the foods I choose to allow in my body. It was fun to write and reflect on and see it come to life in my mind and onto the page. It means a lot to me that you appreciate it. Here’s a link if anyone is interested in reading the whole thing:
    http://kahanuyoga.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/love-yourself-really-love-yourself-its-time/

    Thank you again for your love and support…it feels really, really good!

    Much Love,
    Mercedes



  33.  #33Azure Blu on April 18, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Lazydel 13
    I feel sooo inspired to hear about your “breakthrough” (NOT a breakup!!) By being vulnerable and asking for what you want… lovely!! I feel hopeful that will happen for me one day…



  34.  #34Azure Blu on April 18, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    LoveAlways 16
    and Andrea
    I was feeling leaning forward and agitated about 2 CD guys (one a 4 month relationship and the other 3 dates) and I read your lovely sireny post about your PICKER working… and I realized mine is working!!!
    YAY!!

    I had sweetly set my boundaries with FeelingMessages. I had seen a glimpse of red flags and I must stay my course and realize… I LOVE ME!! I trust ME to NOT chase or take crumbs… those are old patterns and today I choose to sit in my agitation because I LOVE ME!! It will pass and I will know I can trust me more than ever.



  35.  #35LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    That is Beautiful Azure Blu!!! Yes, it will pass and you will feel great! Maybe do a little riffing? What do you think?



  36.  #36LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    Veronica

    I love the sound of that! SIREN MANIFESTO!!
    How cool that feels!
    ๐Ÿ˜€



  37.  #37Azure Blu on April 18, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    LoveAlways
    Can you explain what riffing is?



  38.  #38Emerson on April 18, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    13 luzydel
    Wow!!! I feel so warm and fuzzy reading this!! Thank you for sharing!!!



  39.  #39LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Azure Blue

    Daria is very very very good at Riffing!!! After I give you my description, you might want to read over some of her postings (hope you don’t mind Daria) to see how she does it. Femininewoman may know a past post that goes into detail about it as well

    I will tell you what I do to riff. It may not be totally on point with what Rori’s program targeting mr. right says. (and we can’t post the contents of Rori’s programs on the blog (legal stuff).

    RIFFING
    Get in touch with your feelings. What are you feeling. What is troubling you. Maybe write it down. Now say your problem in terms of what you want, turning your problem into a want. How does it feel to want this? Get deep into this feeling of wanting and describe how it feels to want it. Your NV is going to come up at this point. Go with it. Now feel what it would feel like to have what you want… what does that feel like? describe it to yourself. Now what do these feelings feel like deep in your body? Where are you feeling it? After this, you go and do something that feels good to you. In targeting mr. right Rori has you write out a list of things that you like to do.

    Here are tools that are similar to riffing:

    Dropping to your knees:
    Feel what you are feeling of whatever it is that is overwhelming you. Feel your resistance to it. Now fall to your knees. Yes, get down on the floor! Now let that feeling take over. Feel it. Really feel it, cry if you feel that. Then relax from your head all the way down. Once you have finished this, your going to feel changed and want to go do something for yourself, something that feels good. Focus on you!
    This is just my own description of this tool and it may not be totally accurate. In modern siren Rori goes through the whole approach under the third aspect.

    Rori’s first Dance position: (drop your thoughts from your head and breath), palms out hands at your side, leaning back. Breath from deep deep deep. No thoughts. (in commitment blueprint and other programs).

    Emotional soup also helps you reach deep into your feeling. I think it is in the healing section of commitment blueprint.



  40.  #40Azure Blu on April 18, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    LoveAlways,
    Thank you SOOO much this is wonderful… I will try this… This feels like very powerful stuff!!
    I have read Darias posts over the past years but wasn’t sure what she was doing… Now I know…

    My heart feels happy and warm because you spent the time and thought to help me out… HUGs.
    I know this will help.

    Now I am going to hangout with my friends and watch the Red Wings win!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    I am already feeling a little better.
    Still my heart is heavy and I will try the riffing tomorrow when I have more time.



  41.  #41LoveAlways on April 18, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Azure Blu

    My pleasure to share that with you. Enjoy your evening and the game! Thank you for the hug ๐Ÿ˜€



  42.  #42prplpsn28 on April 18, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    ๐Ÿ™‚



  43.  #43Tereana on April 18, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    LL (from last thread) – I wonder if your friend/acquaintance has some form of BPD? (I e bipolar). Can make people act in very bizarre ways. And if so, there’s nothing you can really do except keep distance and boundaries…

    As for going to New Orleans, I really can’t say. Sounds exciting, though!



  44.  #44Tereana on April 18, 2014 at 7:25 pm

    You know, I’ve been thinking about it, and this breakup with M is really the “best” breakup I’ve ever had. At least in terms of my recovery and ability to process my feelings around it. Fastest ever. I’d say that’s a win!! ๐Ÿ™‚ lol

    And I am being gentler with myself, too. And at the same time, noticing a lot of things I could have done differently.

    One thing gives me a little pause – someone mentioned in the last thread about when a man makes an “internal decision” about a woman. I guess we could call this “falling in love.” But it really is a decision. He says, “that’s her” – rationally or irrationally. And I feel like M really did this for me. I don’t really feel guilty about breaking up with him. Even when I did, he still said he loved me. And, I’ll say it again, I believe he still does. The truth is, he’s not necessarily bad for me or a bad person. But I could learn to be different in the relationship in order to being out his wonderful qualities, rather than stifle them.

    Sadly, my experience of “love” equals: stifling all the qualities that make someone unique, confident and joyful. I hate that, but maybe I can unlearn it. With some more practice….

    If only my relationships didn’t become “relationships.” I feel like had word itself just triggers all these bad reactions. If I was simply relating to people in the normal way that I do, then I would be the most wonderful partner. Heck, if want to date me ; ) lol

    Good night, sirens ๐Ÿ™‚



  45.  #45Emerson on April 18, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    Hi sirens…I made it to Friday …it’s been a long week!
    I’m making baby steps to make my life better…



  46.  #46Emerson on April 18, 2014 at 11:29 pm

    One voice I’ve been heading is that I am in the right place professionally…
    I’m doing well at work and feeling good…
    I’m still working on how to be more open to relationship!
    And spirituality …



  47.  #47Tereana on April 19, 2014 at 4:05 am

    Haha, while we’re sharing dreams, here’s mine: while I was working in this little shop, I got a phone call from another place down the street. There was a cool woman there who was yes me to do something fun – a contract position for a band, or something. Only she said that in order to get paid, I had to sue them. I was like, “what?” Lol. Then I asked some more questions. Finally, I said, “hey, I’m honored you want me to do this. But I’m just not comfortable suing you, and I’m not even sure if I would get paid.” Everyone laughed and seemed to think that was clever, or maybe just honest.

    Then I turned and just walked out…the end!



  48.  #48Tereana on April 19, 2014 at 4:07 am

    Emerson!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I apologize for all typos in all posts. I’m typing on my phone mostly, and I don’t always catch them…oopsies



  49.  #49Tereana on April 19, 2014 at 4:12 am

    Ok, so here’s a quote from a tv show that’s been resonating with me all week: “you’d be surprised how often you get invited to the party when you don’t want to go.”

    Makes me think of marriage, relationship, kids…seems like wanting these are good, and natural. But at the same time, men like to “convince.” If we are gung-ho, he is not going to convince us of anything. If we are a little unsure, dragging our heels (not in an inauthentic way, but if this is real for you), then he gets to “invite us to the party.”

    I feel like I’ve seen this happen bunches of times…



  50.  #50Tereana on April 19, 2014 at 4:28 am

    Hm…just gently thinking over things with M as I spam the blog… ; ) I don’t really feel bad about stuff. I feel ‘clear.’ Red flags? Good guy? Who knows. We had our differences (as he said.) He didn’t talk much about himself. When he did, I always felt better. But mostly I was guessing at how he was feeling. And even though it was real, and I very much felt his love for me, I still felt it was a largely “imaginary” relationship, being that that bulk of it was conducted by text, and those texts were largely not in service of making arrangements to see each other. Rather it was, “oh, I can’t wait to see you I want to kiss you,” and then seeing me and making excuses for not kissing me.

    I want a man who is not shy about how he feels. When I open up, I want to feel him there, too. I want him to be brave, and if he wants to kiss me, to kiss me, knowing that I am open to it…le sigh.

    Maybe I pushed him too fast. Maybe I convinced *him* of a lot of things. But I’m not feeling bad about any of it, either. If it’s not right, it’s not right. And anyway, I have S to look forward to. Since M wasn’t going to come to SF with me anyway, I can go, and see him and not feel guilty in the least!

    I think that one thought makes the biggest difference for me: I am the prize. I am what he has lost. I am (was) the most beautiful thing is his life. Be could have done more to “keep” me here, to please me, to make me happy. Not just “own” me, but make me really happy to be there. That’s what I didn’t feel. That’s why I said, “ok, enough.” And his actions are not my responsibility. (Although sometimes I probably think/act as if they are. Hm…)



  51.  #51Tereana on April 19, 2014 at 4:42 am

    “Mother wound.” Yes. I felt a healing there when I observed one of my strongest patterns in relationship. Maybe if I had not broken up with M I wouldn’t have seen it. Maybe I need to get in lots of relationships and break them off serially in order to get my deepest healing ; )

    “Mother wound.” It makes me think of the “mother” from kombucha. Take that wet fungus and slap it on the wound. *smack!* all better! Lol

    “Mother wound.” A mother who is a narcissist. Funny, I haven’t read that article yet on the flying monkeys, but this is exactly like what I I thought to myself the other day. Asking as I am giving her even negative energy, I am still giving her energy. And it’s draining to me. The best thing I can do fur myself is ignore her. Maybe not ignore her completely, but ignore her antics and not to believe they apply to me. This is actually quite difficult. It feels like a catch-22. I suspect that economic freedom would give me the stable ground to not be as affected by her. But the “victim mentality” and/or the way she has constantly sucked the life force out of me faster than I can grow it back, keeps me in a state of economic dependence, regardless of whether I feel like a “victim.” This is her sweet spot. The victim/martyr mentality is all hers. Most people go to their mom’s parents for advice and support. I still have only partly learned not to do this. When I want to go to them with a problem, it’s always, “yeah? Well, one got a bigger problem. I can’t help you.”

    Thanks guys. I don’t really want to be zen about it. Sometimes I want to give it all a big F-you. By becoming more than economically free. By being wildly successful and having all the love and pleasure I can imagine. Then, at the end of the day, when my mother can’t take care of herself anymore and she expects me to do it (and she will because she already does), what will I do? Who knows. But I will get to decide in the moment, because I will have the power to do so, and I won’t have to be swayed or manipulated by her anymore, ever again.



  52.  #52Tereana on April 19, 2014 at 4:45 am

    Correction: moms OR parents (my dad does this, too.)



  53.  #53Emerson on April 19, 2014 at 7:51 am

    What are some things that help you lean back when you feel like contacting someone?
    I’ve been leaning back but sometimes it just takes sheer willpower to do it….



  54.  #54Emerson on April 19, 2014 at 8:30 am

    47 tereana I feel confused lol;) ๐Ÿ™‚
    Xo
    I do typos all the time <3
    Emerson



  55.  #55LoveAlways on April 19, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Emerson

    Writing in my journal (personal one) about my feelings of why I want to reach out to the person and what I want to accomplish (even though I know I won’t do it because I always want to kick myself afterwards).

    Asking myself WHY I want to contact this person and reminding myself not to overfunction. If there is going to be anything between us HE must contact me otherwise I am moving on to someone else in my rotation (or just circular dating the world).

    Think of things that I enjoy or like that make me not think of the person at all. Like I forget about them and who they are (this take time and constant doing though).

    Getting outdoors and leaving my phone in the car
    – hiking
    – walking the beach
    – shopping

    Taking a warm bath or shower and then doing my nails or hair afterward

    Watching a great movie

    What doesn’t work for me is talking to other people because I find myself resisting bringing up what is really bothering me, even if I just spoke my feelings it would still be in the back of my mind that I have an issue about someone I want to contact but won’t



  56.  #56Femininewoman on April 19, 2014 at 9:40 am

    Emerson do you have a girlfriend who you could lean on at those times?

    I have also deleted guys numbers to stop myself.

    How about the stop tool?



  57.  #57Emerson on April 19, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    55 love always
    Thank you for your reply to me! I like your suggestions! Thank you for reminding me not to overfunction!

    56 hi FW! It feels good to read your reply! Deleting numbers is actually an effective measure for me…



  58.  #58Emerson on April 19, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    FW thank you for suggesting the stop sign tool, I find it helpful as well!



  59.  #59Tereana on April 19, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    Emerson – lol! Welcome to my dreams ; ) it actually felt pretty powerful at the time. They essentially weren’t offering me terms that I liked, and so I turned down the job (whatever it was), even though I knew I wasn’t making a lot at the other job



  60.  #60Emerson on April 19, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    I am feeling good that I have continued to lean back. I like your idea love always about journaling.
    I want to reach out cuz I feel lonely and I feel an urgency to soften those feelings ….
    I feel impatient to have a relationship ….
    I feel needy for physical affection ….
    Ah those things are hard to write!



  61.  #61Emerson on April 19, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    Ah ok Tereana haha thank you for sharing your dream! I love dreams!



  62.  #62Indigo on April 20, 2014 at 5:57 am

    So, today I got it out of D why he has been acting the way he has. It’s that he cannot be around me without wanting to kiss me and sleep with me, and this is stressful.

    So being around me doesn’t allow him to move on, but of course by that he means “not move on”, because he doesn’t attempt to have a relationship with a woman regardless.

    So all I can take away from this is what I already knew… he doesn’t want a relationship, the intimacy of it is terrifying and stressful to him.

    I pray, I really pray, that he heals from this one day.



  63.  #63Indigo on April 20, 2014 at 6:08 am

    I want to fast forward this time in my life.

    It’s not that there aren’t a lot of things that give me pleasure, it’s not that I can’t see the value of a lot of the things I’m doing. It just doesn’t feel like where I’m “supposed to be”. It feels like limboland, in a way.

    It feels like I’m just having to endure a whole lot of things that don’t sit quite right, things I’d sooner back away from. I wish I had a best friend at my side, a partner in crime, always, who was in sync with me and could make the strange feel easier to endure.

    Not sure if I’m making sense here ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a lovely Easter sirens!



  64.  #64LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 6:36 am

    Happy Easter Sirens!



  65.  #65LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 6:48 am

    Emerson

    “I want to reach out cuz I feel lonely and I feel an urgency to soften those feelings โ€ฆ.
    I feel impatient to have a relationship โ€ฆ.
    I feel needy for physical affection โ€ฆ”

    You just “journaled” ๐Ÿ™‚

    Invite you to feel out the following based on what you just wrote:

    -You are a juicy sweet precious prize
    -Your time is valuable and must be sought after
    -Your softness is desirable and must be treasured
    -For a man to have relationship is like having a gorgeous hummingbird come to the same window each morning – it’s a delight to see and experience the beauty being drawn to your presence
    -To bestow affection upon all this wonderfulness is like touching the warm rays of the sun during and early morning sunrise on a beautiful summer day.

    How does it feel to get into those feelings?
    How does it feel to be the object of those things?

    Yes! It’s you and this is an inner vision of what you said, just turned the focus on the yummy siren that you are
    and he
    (be that any he, not the person you are leaning back from)
    must see you that way.
    It is the loveliness of your degree of difficulty ๐Ÿ˜€



  66.  #66LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 8:44 am

    Signing off and sharing some words I strung together today. Have a beautiful day sirens, I have a busy Sunday planned!

    Embrace your Dream,
    Spread the strength of Hope,
    Celebrate Joy,
    Create Love

    LoveAlways



  67.  #67LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 8:49 am

    If you can be still
    and take pleasure
    in the beauty
    of everything around you
    in that moment,
    then you have just experienced
    the simple touch
    of happiness.

    LoveAlways



  68.  #68LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 8:50 am

    “Always Find time

    for the things

    that make you

    feel happy

    to be alive!”

    I found this quote on facebook.



  69.  #69LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 8:51 am

    Happiness is not about things.
    Step outside of the box and
    enjoy what feels good to you!

    LoveAlways



  70.  #70LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 8:52 am

    Do all things with Love today and be surprised at the results you get!

    LoveAlways



  71.  #71LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 8:53 am

    Happy is somewhere deep
    under all those issues
    that really don’t matter.
    Reaching it is key.

    LoveAlways



  72.  #72LoveAlways on April 20, 2014 at 8:56 am

    Finally

    A ๐Ÿ˜€

    for everyone!



  73.  #73Pamelahealing on April 20, 2014 at 8:57 am

    It is easy to feel sorry for oneself when alone. I spent so much time imagining all of the fun everyone was having. I kept asking myself over and over again why my life felt so bad. The first thing I had to do to begin was think about and sometimes write about the things I “had” instead of what I “didn’t have”. I slowly begin to find things to be grateful for and that helped me a lot. Reading Rori’s Notes from the Universe is a GREAT beginning sometimes reading it over and over again.



  74.  #74Daria on April 20, 2014 at 9:03 am

    I wonder why

    is it cuz they know theres so much more around that that feels good ?

    or have they – also – been trained to go after struggle, and to think That is what’s ‘good’

    i feel scared

    i feel energized

    i feel terrified

    this feels disturbing to me



  75.  #75Daria on April 20, 2014 at 9:06 am

    Indigo – I feel related to your post I see myself caring for my men and their welfare too….

    hmmm

    i feel terrified that my mental attention to their problems/current way of being is rather holding them there rather than opening up space to swirl the universe around and have changes happen



  76.  #76Daria on April 20, 2014 at 9:07 am

    Emerson – what helps me is answering men on POF

    also calling a gf… sometimes me and LK call each other



  77.  #77Daria on April 20, 2014 at 9:13 am

    thanks Love Always ๐Ÿ™‚

    another way i riff that i can now do without writing anf i like to do in bed in the morning is

    notice feeling/body sensation like ……. i feel itchy tailbone…

    and then add in : I LOVE my itchy tailbone

    and then recheck : and THAt feels like…..

    (find the next senstaion that catches my attnetion)

    itchy face cheek

    and i /LOVe my itchy face cheek

    and that feels like

    hehe big smile!

    and i love my big smile

    and that feel slike giggle

    hehe

    and just go with it till it gets to the happy feelings like i just did fast right now



  78.  #78Indigo on April 20, 2014 at 9:16 am

    Daria,

    Thank you. I feel really understood by you.

    I feel in my heart that stepping right away from this and giving it its own breathing room is the right thing to do here. Easier said than done, but I am getting there.



  79.  #79Jessie1000 on April 20, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    I feel triggered by the notes from the universe.
    I feel like something in me tells me to avoid attention…to avoid notice, to not make myself seem special.
    I think my daddy was all about beating the specialness out of us kids…made us more passive and obedient. He believed we should be humble…or perhaps not even humble but perhaps be nothing and mean nothing to anyone else.

    He prevented us from friendships that lasted by constantly moving us from town to town, he prevented us from bonding with anyone because he wouldnt let visitors…well our friends come into the house…his friends were fine….he prevented us from ever feeling special.
    The special note from the UNIVERSE, a strange word because it makes the author seem omnipotent and almost like a deity or semi god is writing to us…seems very contrived to me like a tight sweater or shoes that dont fit.
    Being special in our house was getting a special extra heap of abuse or violence.
    I know as Im sure all of you are aware that my childhood was not normal but it still feels good to say that I had a hard time. And unfortunately that makes me “special” from everyone else and be glad you dont have my particular quality of specialness.
    I want my notes to come in and make me feel special until they are boring and common place.

    Right now they feel awful and sad and makes me want to cry myself to sleep.

    well its better to feel something today than nothing.
    Thank you rori…cheers to everyone
    kisses and hugs xoxo



  80.  #80Tereana on April 20, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    ((((Jessie1000))))



  81.  #81Cรฉcilia on April 20, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    Helena – 6 – Thank you(: I got my first one on Friday and I’m rereading it often!

    I just got back from a wonderful Easter weekend at a cottage for a family reunion, it filled my heart with so much joy and happiness. There is something special about family, and this weekend I really felt appreciation for how special they all are to me. We also had many many good feeling belly laughs together, it was very very perfect(: cottage trips are wonderful.
    I came home to a message from E asking me if I want to come to brunch with him and his family tomorrow… And his grandparents. Woah, I have never met these grandparents before, and I feel excited. I feel curious as to how I will feel around them… But no matter what, I’m going to walk in there like the beacon of light that I so often am, and I will shine ๐Ÿ™‚ teehee I’m a little nervous!



  82.  #82Indigo on April 21, 2014 at 12:07 am

    ((((Jessie1000))))

    I feel such empathy for what you must have gone through.

    Please know that your past does not define your life or who you are, and what your dad said you were is absolutely not the truth.

    You can be and have anything you want… and yes, you can soar like the angel goddess you are.

    *Hugs* to you



  83.  #83GlowStix on April 21, 2014 at 7:50 am

    ((((jessie1000))))



  84.  #84Jessie1000 on April 23, 2014 at 6:23 am

    Ha ha thanks girls. Got some of the notes from the universe…still cant open them. They feel like all the other fakey people who said they loved me but never did. I don’t like talking. A stranger who I don’t know sends out a generic email and doesn’t give a crap right now about me…done. Don’t want it.
    IT really triggers me…I feel very irritated by the emails. I feel irritated that Im not normal and enjoy them. I feel swallowed by my sadness. I hate easter. I have no family to speak of and my kids just want chocolate….I feel sorry to depress everyone which is probably why I bottle this stuff up.
    UGH
    UGH at myself.
    Thanks for your wishes girls..xoxo