Get Your FREE “Bring Him Close” Book At LoveRomanceRelationship – And Attract Men With Your Sexy Voice, Too…

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Hi all, I’ve noticed some comments about articles of mine and other great stuff you’ve found at

…and since the Editor-In-Chief there is my dear friend and genius webmaster Steve Warwick – I’m tickled that you like the site, and don’t mind at all if you find something you like there and link to it here…also…

If you haven’t already – go and pick up the LoveRomanceRelationship free ebook – “Bring Him Close” – you’ll see a lot of my ideas and Tools in there (because LoveRomanceRelationship is an affiliate for me…) – and there’re some terrific articles and great “skill set” books there on Personality and Body Language –

One of my favorite programs there is about creating a “sexy voice” for yourself quickly (and written and voice recorded with 6 audio tapes by my rock star friend Ginger McKenzieย  -though she goes by “Ginger Gardner” on “Sexy Voice Secrets.” That’s her in the picture…)

I send many of my clients to voice teachers (and if you have my Monthly Interview series, you’ve heard me interview a few of them – not to mention the wonderful Ariella on Modern Siren) – so Ginger’s program is a serious bargain.

If you get it, let me know what it does for you. I think working with your voice is a HUGE and simple thing to do that works with my Tool of “Changing Everything.”

Our voices are easy to work with, easy to shift, and even a tiny shift there gives you huge results. It makes you feel “new” around the same men or man.

Ginger herself has this amazing, sweet speaking voice and a rock star life and personality (she’s coached other singers…so that’s where the program comes from, and…yeah…I pushed her to create it…I really thought there was a need, and I totally love the program she put together…)

But, most of all – don’t forget to sign up for the free articles list and get your free “Bring Him Close” book (yeah…I suggested the title and read it and gave it my approval before I let Steve publish any of my stuff in it…)

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Ella on March 6, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    Oh hang on… not 1st??

  2.  #2blue rose on March 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    yes, you are first ๐Ÿ™‚

  3.  #3LoveAlways on March 6, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    Ooohhhh! Will check out the ebook tonight! Thanks Rori!

  4.  #4Femininewoman on March 6, 2012 at 6:41 pm


  5.  #5Femininewoman on March 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    I have read some of her work in the past and can tell you that adjusting your voice really getS mens attention

  6.  #6LiliBee on March 6, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    My close gf had a good date.
    He sent her a picture of his single guy friend to show me.
    He told her a whole bunch of stuff about the guy to tell me.

    Then D called and wants to see me tomorrow night.

    Then 2 awesomely goodlooking guys winked at me on Match.

    When it rains it pours!

  7.  #7LiliBee on March 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    One of the guys that winked at me is really interesting.
    I noticed he says ‘…looking to build a family…’
    That is NOT happening with me. No way, No how.
    I’ve made the decision to not have children 3 years ago, and I am living just great with that decision.
    I am now in my early 40s, no way am I starting a family now.
    I need a good FM to point that out:
    How about “I noticed on your profile saying ‘…looking to build a family…’. Allthough I do enjoy children, I no longer feel the maternal instinct to have my own.”
    What do you sirens think?

  8.  #8LiliBee on March 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    I need to get to bed. I feel so tired, my whole face feels heavy. I can’t wait to sink into my warm cushy bed.

  9.  #9LiliBee on March 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    I’ll check-in tomorrow morning.

    Goodnight sirens xox

  10.  #10Femininewoman on March 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    Lilibee did he say he want to have children? There are all kinds of families, which include adopted kids as well. It seems you are assuming that he would require the person he is with to have children. Did he say he had children of his own? He could possibly accept a woman with children and consider that building his family.

  11.  #11Turquoise on March 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    Hi Sirens,

    I had a pretty good day today. Work was busy enough to keep it going, but not overwhelming and stressful. I felt so turned on all day, I couldn’t stop thinking about my ex. I hope I’m strong enough to keep my no sex boundry this weekend. I won’t see him for another 3 weeks… so we’ll be at almost 2 months at that point with no sex. Two months has been a magic number for me in the past, when they really start missing me and stepping up.

    I think it was you FW, who posted a Rori article on the last thread, about why are we here and that we can be drawn to a man because of chemistry and connection. I feel that, obviously, but I don’t know how to get rid of it. This month, will be 18 years since I started dating him. How do you break that bond when you still want him?

    I feel scared thinking of wanting the unknown more. Of wanting a relationship, that I can’t seem to manifest for myself (even an idea of a man I’d want more) enough to let go and move beyond my attraction and love for him. Because he’s throwing me. Why offer me the cell phone family plan if he doesn’t have any feelings? Who does that? My ex does, he bought me a damn house, why am I surprised about the cell phone?

    How do I get to the point where I want the relationship more than I want a particular person?

    I don’t want to do online dating right now.
    I would go out with a man if he asked and I felt interested. I would CD if any opportunities were popping up. But nobody, nada, nothing. Now what?

  12.  #12Femininewoman on March 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    Turquoise I encourage you to think of all the advice that you have given to Brenda.

  13.  #13Butterfly Wings on March 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    Hi everybody! Yay yay yay! New credit card is approved so now I’m saving 18% pa over the next 12 months!

    What else…. oh TH did not end up going out last night and came home instead. He wasn’t really cranky at me (I thought he was but he wasn’t) last night for being “lazy” and not working out. But OMG I made up for that today when I did the Bodyrock workout. Ouch!

    For those of you wanting to work out without having to pay the cash, this is a freebie – although as one of my girlfriends pointed out, the pics on that site (and some of the titles of the videos) are very…. sexual! lol

    The only thing though is if you don’t have one you should buy an interval timer. Worth it’s weight in gold!

    House inspection went well today – the real estate agent is really nice and we chatted about her soccer match last weekend, then she left! She didn’t even look around! Haha!

    Heading out soon to pick up the Lady Gaga tickets that TH bought for my daughter and I, then we’re going to look at an apartment he’s interested in maybe buying as an investment.

    And finally, although I’m supposed to be working from home today, I’ve done very little because I’m too focused on my personal development stuff. Am I a bad person for doing that??? Probably. But I’ll become a better person because of it! ๐Ÿ˜€

  14.  #14Butterfly Wings on March 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    LiliBee, I’m not sure what’s in the water over there, but between you and Lizka, there are going to be lots of fun times ahead! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15.  #15Turquoise on March 6, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    BW, that is fantastic about the credit card!!!! I can’t wait to get my credit card all paid off!!!! It will be such a relief.

  16.  #16Butterfly Wings on March 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Oh tell me about it T! I can’t wait till mine’s gone either – that and my car loan, then I’ll be debt free! Woohoo!

  17.  #17sensual on March 6, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Turquoise i feel for what you are saying, maybe you can just enjoy the feeling of the experiment when it comes to other men and CDing, enjoy the feeling of having the freedom to have other men pay you attention and do things for you, even if you have no intention of it really going anywhere with them …..over time it could make you feel more open to other possibilities. and you don’t loose anything with your ex by doing this, you continue making the progress just as you are with him in the meanwhile

  18.  #18Brenda on March 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    FW and Turquoise,

    RE: #12 – LOL, whew, I can’t help but laugh FW! She gives me terrific advice, too! ๐Ÿ˜† I am not being facetious. It just struck me funny.

    All I can say is it is far easier said than done! I sure had a hard time stopping! And the only reason I did is because this man is toxic.


  19.  #19Butterfly Wings on March 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Oh T, I just saw your post #11.

    I know TH and I are only just coming up to 2 years, but for a lot of that time, I was struggling to let go of the man and focusing on the relationship I wanted.

    And the funny thing was, on the odd occasion that I was able to do that, he came closer. It was weird.

    So my only advice to you is to tell you to believe that things will turn out for you as they are supposed to, and the only thing you have control of is you.

    So if the dates aren’t forthcoming, just get out there with a friend. The less time you’re hidden inside your home, the longer it will take for somebody to find you!

    And if your ex does turn things around and realise that he can’t live without you (who could blame him??), then you’ll be ready for him – or you would have moved on. But either way you will be happy!


  20.  #20Butterfly Wings on March 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    Oops I meant the less time you’re hidden inside your home, the less time it will take somebody to find you!

    I’ve been on here for way too long today!

  21.  #21Turquoise on March 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    Thanks BW… I do try and get out a good bit. Just most of it is driving my girls to gymnastics, girl scouts, going to the grocery store…lol. I work with all men and just one woman, so I am around them, but most are a good bit older than me, married, in serious relationships, etc. and really, the majority I don’t see on a daily or even weekly basis. I work for a contracting company so they are out on job sites. I do talk to a lot of men on the phone and in emails for work, so I practice what I can, while remaining professional. I’ve been giving a lot of thank yous (for getting back to me so quickly, sending me the paperwork I need, returning my call, etc. and I’ve gotten a warm reaction to it)

    I truely believe I am the only single person in my entire plan, lol. It’s a very picture perfect community of married couples with 2.5 kids. lol. BUT, most are my age or close to it, so I felt it was a good fit for me, as you never know who has a single brother or friend.

    I have actually done a lot of dating in the past. I was in a long term relationship for a year and a half with a guy I knew in high school. He didn’t want to get remarried or have more children, and really wanted a woman who provided a lot financially (he ended up marrying a naval officer who made about triple what he did. Last I heard, he wasn’t working, just letting her support him) But, out of at least 2 dozen men, the only one I REALLY liked was bi-polar and still in love with his ex who lived in California. We dated for a few months, but he couldn’t get over her, so we ended it. He ended up marrying her. He sure was sexy though. ๐Ÿ™‚

    LOL…. so really what my question was about was how do you let go of those emotions after so long? And no offense to Brenda and her situation because I know she really loves Ryan, but this is a man who I’ve known for almost half my life. A man I have two children with. A man I still have to see and be in contact with on a regular basis for at least the next 10 years, laughing and sharing the funny stories, talking through parenting issues and planning their futures. I can’t just walk away and wish him well, and have him disappear from my life. It would be easier to get over a man I wasn’t constantly reminded of.

    I know in time, it will get easier, and if I meet someone else that I really care for, my focus will shift to the new relationship. It was easier when things were bad between us with the divorce settlement. We always had ups and downs, and for the most part got along, but when the focus was on ending our marriage, I wasn’t thinking about trying to rebuild.

    I will just keep working on myself. I’m inspired hearing about these workout programs and challenges. I’m really interested in finding my groove with working out/diet and nutrition. I’m equally inspired to get my debt paid off and to get a new car. I just filed my tax return, and will put at least half on my card balance.
    And of course there is my garage still, lol… the land of leftover clutter.

    So, get rid of my body clutter, my financial clutter, and the junk clutter… gotta help my vibe!

    About my no sex boundry… don’t think I trust myself so going to maintain a distance. While it would feel so nice to melt into his hug, I am going to want more.

    I need a no sex mantra.


  22.  #22Brenda on March 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Speaking of attracting men with your voice, I had a funny moment last night…I was at a small meeting with people from my church, when a man said my ring finger has been itching. I wonder if that means somebody is itching to get married?

    I blurted loudly, “Me! I’ll claim it!” Everyone started laughing, including me. The meeting was at someone’s house, and the woman said, “Shhh! My daughter is trying to sleep upstairs.”

    I said, “You mean that wasn’t a soft, feminine voice?!”

    Guess you had to be there, LOL!

    I like to laugh at myself. It keeps me humble and real.

  23.  #23Turquoise on March 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    Part of what is throwing me, is hearing “Head over Feet” twice today, when I haven’t heard it in years. A few weeks before my husband proposed, he played that song for me. Said it’s how I made him feel.

    Music can be too powerful. I need to stop playing the radio gods game. It’s messing with me!!!!

    “Head Over Feet”

    I had no choice but to hear you
    You stated your case time and again
    I thought about it

    You treat me like I’m a princess
    I’m not used to liking that
    You ask how my day was

    You’ve already won me over in spite of me
    And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
    Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
    I couldn’t help it
    It’s all your fault

    Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
    You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
    That’s not lip service

    You’ve already won me over in spite of me
    And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
    Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
    I couldn’t help it
    It’s all your fault

    You are the bearer of unconditional things
    You held your breath and the door for me
    Thanks for your patience

    You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
    You’re my best friend
    Best friend with benefits
    What took me so long

    I’ve never felt this healthy before
    I’ve never wanted something rational
    I am aware now
    I am aware now

    You’ve already won me over in spite of me
    And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
    Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
    I couldn’t help it
    It’s all your fault

  24.  #24Brenda on March 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    (((Turquoise ))),

    I feel what you said. What does your heart tell you is going to happen?

  25.  #25Turquoise on March 6, 2012 at 10:23 pm


    I don’t have a sexy voice… I talk too fast, I mumble sometimes, can’t carry a tune… would feel good to improve on.


  26.  #26Turquoise on March 6, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    I don’t really know. I’m accepting what he said to me, that he’s thought about us trying again, but can’t let go of the past. I know I can’t fix that, he’d have to choose that himself. I’m not brushing that off lightly.

    I don’t feel this is over though. I feel there is still more to come here. I’m curious to see what that will be. I’m not often good at keeping my boundaries though, so this will be new for me.

    I am so different now though. Leaning back definitely wasn’t a strong point when we were married. I do wonder, almost in a laughing kind of way….what he makes of the new me.

  27.  #27Turquoise on March 6, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    WTF, it’s almost 2 AM and I am wide awake.

  28.  #28Butterfly wings on March 6, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    Almost 5pm here! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  29.  #29Turquoise on March 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    Donโ€™t even TRY to IMAGINE closure. Forget closure. Forget resolution. Forget tying things up in a nice bundle, all knots untied, everything smoothed out.

    This is just not part of having a real, PASSIONATE life.

    Needing closure is something we women have absolutely been trained for.

    We are perfectionist in many ways, managing things โ€“ so much of it comes from our genes โ€“ the need to cook, watch the fire, listen for the baby, and ward off intruders all at the same time.

    This need for closure is, I believe โ€“ at the bottom of all our womanly stress.

    So, I also say, forget about the whole concept of โ€œletting go.โ€ Itโ€™s just not a viable image.

    For me โ€“ (and I have a bunch of posts on thisโ€ฆmost with horses in the picturesโ€ฆ) the idea is to keep moving down your own road, stick on your path, stay with your horse, keep moving, expanding, breathing, going deeper and deeper into your feelings and your life, becoming more and more passionate about life itself โ€“ and just not allowing ANYTHING to distract you. Not allowing anything to โ€œcaptureโ€ you and throw you off balance and off course.

    You can take a memory of a man with you down your road. You can dream about him when you sleep. You can take from what you had with him that makes you feel good and helps you understand yourself, that helps you riff and process and expand.

    To do this โ€“ you DONโ€™T NEED HIM TO BE AROUND IN REAL LIFE.

    Iโ€™m going to say that again. Once a man has outlived his usefulness in his concrete, human form โ€“ once his presence makes you go backwards and into your head and out of your body and feeling not good about yourself โ€“ you donโ€™t want him around. Period. Youโ€™re done. Heโ€™s history.

    But that doesnโ€™t mean heโ€™s left the planet, or left your psyche.

    He might still be in your rock band, or in your theater company, or at your yoga class, or sweating next to you at your gym, or sitting next to you at your work. He might be the father of your children. He might be a superstar you see on billboards and hear about from friends and strangers every day. He could be your lawyer, or your coach, or your childrenโ€™s friendโ€™s father.

    It doesnโ€™t mean he has nothing to offer you โ€“ even if itโ€™s only a reminder of what you DONโ€™T want.

    And it doesnโ€™t mean you have to be especially nice to him, or welcoming, or reasonable.

    And it doesnโ€™t mean you have to notice him much, or think about him, or wonder about him, or talk about him.

    It just means heโ€™s there. He still lives and breathes.

    Itโ€™s not about โ€œreality.โ€ Itโ€™s about โ€œenergy.โ€

    And this isnโ€™t hocus-pocus or magic, because itโ€™s not about HIS energy โ€“ itโ€™s about YOURS.

    The simple truth is โ€“ if you stop FIGHTING your feelings for him and pull toward him, and thoughts about him โ€“ and simply REFOCUS your mind, body and heart around something NEW โ€“ something that FEELS GOOD โ€“ something thatโ€™s MEANINGFUL to you โ€“ it will overpower the energy youโ€™re showering on this undeserving man.

    So โ€“ instead of rituals and symbolic acts to LET GO of him (because then itโ€™s STILL all about HIMโ€ฆ) what we need here is rituals and symbolic acts to hang onto, hold onto, embrace, worship and adore OURSELVES.

    The result weโ€™re going for is not to free HIM โ€“ but to free US.

    Can you imagine what that would look like and feel like?

    What would it look like and feel like to feel free as a bird around your thoughts and feelings about a man? To be able to do what makes you happy even though thoughts of him and about him continue to intrude?

    I guarantee you that if you find things to immerse yourself in โ€“ things that capture your attention in a wonderful, fulfilling and satisfying wayโ€ฆthey will way outshine any manโ€™s old, worn-out pull on you. Your light will expose the shabbiness of the man, the obsolescence of him.

    Youโ€™ll start to feel this: โ€œDone.โ€

    Itโ€™s not about โ€œover.โ€ Itโ€™s not about โ€œforgetting.โ€ Itโ€™s not about โ€œLetting Goโ€ so you โ€œdonโ€™tโ€ have a mental, physical or emotional experience around him when he isnโ€™t actually there. Itโ€™s about just getting so passionate about yourself and what you love in life that you become bored by him.

    Most of the time, a man who is not good for us came into our lives for one reason: We invited him in as a โ€œdo-over.โ€

    It could be a do-over of our childhoods, when the only way we could get love and attention was by working our butts off.

    It could be a do-over of a trauma where we felt helpless to take care of ourselves.

    It could be a do-over of a mistake that feels desperately like it needs โ€œclosureโ€ and โ€œmastery.โ€

    Forget about all that.

    Instead โ€“ focus on being kind to yourself. Focus on what you like. On what makes you feel good. Do that. Think that. Take yourself there.

    Erika talks a lot about EFT โ€“ Emotional Freedom Technique, and I love the technique too โ€“ hereโ€™s one little piece of it Iโ€™m going to apply to this post:

    Say to yourself: โ€œEven though I feel attached to this man and drawn to have closure with him, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.โ€

    Then get back on your horse and ride โ€“ with him or without him, whether heโ€™s hanging onto the saddle, gripping you for dear life, or trying to get you to stop and let him on, or whether youโ€™re holding him with one hand behind you as you ride on.

    The important thing is NOT what HEโ€™S doing, or where HE is.

    The important thing is that YOU are RIDING ON!!!

    I found this on the site… going to keep reading it over and over until it sinks in. Time to try and get some sleep! Good night sirens, thanks for listening to me babble. ๐Ÿ™‚

  30.  #30Silver Moonbeam on March 6, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Dr Wayne Dyer

    Excuses Begone (part 1 of 13)

  31.  #31R.N.AmazingMe on March 7, 2012 at 1:03 am

    Is a fullmoon or really close to it nice haing my sunroof well moonroof:) I miss you all very much and as always love reading the inspirational messages. Brenda I have been down and out how is the Ryan thing now? I missed something I am sure, hope all you sirens are well!!

  32.  #32R.N.AmazingMe on March 7, 2012 at 1:05 am

    Turquoise that was so not babble you hit the nail right on with that and it inspired me. Thank you great post ๐Ÿ™‚

  33.  #33Maria on March 7, 2012 at 1:18 am

    Torquoise –

    Thanks for some of your last posting – on closure. I feel for you in some of your earlier postings … as someone else said on here recently – get out of his head and into yours. It sounds like that is where you finally settled as you went to sleep.

    It’s hard to stay there, especially when life interactions w/ partners (ex or current) throws us perplexing curve balls. I empathize with that.

  34.  #34Lena on March 7, 2012 at 1:43 am

    Thank you everybody for warmth I felt on the previous thread.

    I actually dont want to stress out anymore. Maybe I shouldve stayed away completely but I cant keep it all in. I wrote A that I feel things are not working out right now between us. I feel coldness from him and that I would want to have a warm relationship with him if he would want to but I cant read him right now. I also wrote that I feel horrible and angry about Monday. Sad that things became messy. That I dont want anth complicated and I do care for him but dont want to pressure in any way…

    I am ready to be rejected. I feel better that I said so though I was slapped in my face so many times that I shouldnt express so much to people. I cant talk with him as if nth happend. Because smth did amd he feels cold. I dont like it. I dont want to be in some imaginary bubble with him. I wanted him to know what exactly I want and expect and if he is not into me – its better it will end like this rather it will just fade away, making it painful. I dont want pain anymore. I feel bad about all that incident and I didnt feel he understood how much it impacted me. I dont want to be with someone who will give me fractions of his attention. I want sweetness, love, warmth and affection. And I am pretty young lady, hardworking and fun, so I deserve to be loved.

  35.  #35Lena on March 7, 2012 at 1:47 am

    I feel that after I said it to him – I can go and do smth else. All those unexpressed feelings and wants simply got stuck in me since yesterday and it was very burdening. I started to smoke again like hell! Thats not good! I dont want. I want peace of mind and to be secure with this guy. I dont want anyone immature who cant relate to smones feelings and ignore them – no matter how many and when I feel them. I dont want to adjust to him anymore. I am emotional person. Things worry me and I do have all right to express it without fear of being abandoned.

  36.  #36Lena on March 7, 2012 at 1:50 am

    So I told him – I dont know how to act further with all this, I dont know anymore.

  37.  #37Lena on March 7, 2012 at 2:06 am

    Oh yeah… Rejection.. He asnwered – lets just be cool. I have no idea what it means…

  38.  #38Butterfly Wings on March 7, 2012 at 2:28 am

    I have no idea what that means either Lena. I suppose you could ask him…? xx

  39.  #39R.N.AmazingMe on March 7, 2012 at 2:29 am

    Lena time for you now don’t put anymore effort towards him if he wants you he will be around but yhour not waiting your taking care of your needs and if you meet a step up man in the meantime then so be it. He will regret it but noone else is going to tend to your feeling the way you want unless you make boundries and stick to them great job!!

  40.  #40Butterfly Wings on March 7, 2012 at 2:48 am

    Hi again everybody! I’m in bed now, but nowhere near sleeping (only 8.45pm and I’m normally up until at least 11-11.30!).

    A close friend of mine is celebrating her birthday this weekend and has organised a get together at a pub near where she lives (15 minutes drive for me or a bus and a train). I assumed TH wouldn’t want to come although she did invite him too so I’d worked out how I would get there and back.

    So yesterday I mentioned it and he said he wasn’t sure what he was doing but if he came he would drive so I could drink (yay!).

    Today I noticed that he posted on FB about a football game he is going to on Saturday night so I decided to definitely attend one of the meetups I’d been looking into. Because the game is near his house I assumed he’d stay at his house that night (especially so because he said last week and the week before that from now on he’d be spending two or three nights a week at his house from now on). He’s also going with one of the guys from work who lives out my way, so I assumed he’d stay at his house too.

    But apparently that’s not the plan!

    When I picked him up today (we were going to look at an apartment he is thinking of buying), he mentioned the football and I said I also had plans that night but wasn’t having a big one because of Sunday and that I would be driving. So he asked me if I could pick him up afterwards on my way home so he could come back to my house, seeing as he was driving to my friend’s drinks the next day.

    So not only is he not staying at his house on Saturday night, but he’s driving me to my friend’s birthday drinks the following day too.

    I’ve really taken my focus off him the last couple of days. I’m so much more focused on my passions and maybe it’s coming through because I feel happier and he seems a little less grumpy (not sure if that’s possible for Mr Cranky Pants but you never know!).

    Oh and he received our Lady Gaga tickets today! Woohoo! He bought two tickets for his sister and her daughter too (who happens to be the same age as my daughter – they’ve not met yet) and they’re sitting next to us.

    I still cannot believe how much money that man has spent on me! :-O

  41.  #41Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 2:59 am

    Yay BW that’s exciting!! Please keep following your passions girl!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  42.  #42Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 3:06 am

    I just woke up a few minutes ago an I’m still in bed. Just for fun (because I already know what’s in there!) I toom a look at my agenda and it made me start. Great way to start the day!

    There is so many fun thigs in therre for the upcoming days that I can’t help myself smiling and feeling so light. Not only dates with men, but things for me only too: movies with ModelCD, sushis with my girl friends, russian party with Florida friend, day off friday, running, yoga, running and more to come hopefully!!

    I’m going to say no to the ski with the oter CD because he’s too weird and doesn’t want to pick me up. I’ll write more about it later. For now siren Lizka is going to play in the shower… ๐Ÿ™‚

  43.  #43Butterfly Wings on March 7, 2012 at 3:10 am

    I shall Lizka. I just get off track sometimes.

    And what I like about my passion is that it involves lots of personal development and I’m currently reading Personality Plus by Florence Littauer.

    You answer 40 questions and she tells you what type of personality you have. Here’s me (I love this!):

    Powerful Choleric Personality
    The extrovert
    The Doer
    The Optimist

    Born leader
    Dynamic and active
    Compulsive need for change
    Must correct wrongs
    Strong willed and decisive
    Unemotional (uh, maybe not!)
    Not easily discouraged
    Independent and self-sufficient
    Exudes confidence

    At work:
    Goal oriented
    Sees the whole picture
    Organises well
    Seeks practical solutions
    Moves quickly to action
    Delegates work
    Insists on production
    Makes the goal
    Stimulates activity
    Thrives on opposition

    It then goes on to say lots more but the bit I like is where it says that as a friend I am “usually right”! Hahahahaa! Gotta show TH that one! ๐Ÿ˜€

    I’ve guessed him to be the Perfect Melancholy Personality – The introvert, The thinker, the pessimist.

    And then it describes him to a T! Including how he’s “genius prone”(!), deep and thoughtful, sets high standards, self-sacrificing, perfectionist, can solve others’ problems etc.

    I’ll have to get him to answer the questions and see if I’m right. I’m sure I am right though… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    The book then goes on to explain how to under stand the different personality types so you can get on better. Cool huh? ๐Ÿ™‚

  44.  #44Butterfly Wings on March 7, 2012 at 3:12 am

    Wonderful Lizka! Peaches and I were talking earlier because we were going to meet up tomorrow night but she’s quite unwell, so we were thinking we could all Skype.

    But I wasn’t sure what your busy schedule was looking like! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  45.  #45Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 3:44 am

    Ah bouuuh BW ๐Ÿ™

    Tomorrow I’ll be eating sushis and dancing with a bunch of hot guys…

    We’ll do it soon!

  46.  #46Butterfly Wings on March 7, 2012 at 3:51 am

    Haha I knew it! ๐Ÿ™‚

    You have a great time and Peaches and I will organise another night to talk to you!

  47.  #47Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 3:52 am

    Oh yeah the test sounds cool! I love answering questio and I am fascinated when the results really scream “ME” !

    When I started my actual work, they made me do a psychometric test and I think the results are just SO me. Here are what they say about me (just a part of it):

    [Lizka] will most strongly express the following behaviors:

    Proactivity, assertiveness, and sense of urgency in driving to reach her goals. Openly challenges
    the world around her.

    Independent in putting forth her own ideas, which are often innovative and, if implemented,
    cause change.

    Resourcefully works through or around anything blocking completion of what she
    wants to accomplish; aggressive when challenged.
    Impatient for results, she puts pressure on herself and others for rapid implementation, and is far
    less productive when doing routine work.

    Risk-taking and focus on future goals; she’s more concerned with where she’s going than where
    she’s been.

    Adaptable, operates flexibly.

    Makes decisions and takes action with relatively little need for proof to confirm her decision.

    More interested in her own ideas than traditional ones.

    Flexible approach to ‘the book;’ willing to bend the rules to achieve her goals.

    An original thinker who isn’t easily discouraged by setbacks.

  48.  #48Sirenity on March 7, 2012 at 3:54 am

    Turquoise…”I feel scared thinking of wanting the unknown more. Of wanting a relationship, that I canโ€™t seem to manifest for myself (even an idea of a man Iโ€™d want more) enough to let go and move beyond my attraction and love for him. ”

    I believe the manifesting of a new special someone comes AFTER the letting go of the old relationship.
    You have to make space. Various programs talk about this clearing work. Some discuss the sexual connection as needing to be severed to break the energy bonding.

    I found that If I wait around for someone to displace the ex from my affections I could be waiting a Long long time. You have to make room in your life , and in your heart for that man to arrive and while the ex is in your mind and your bed it may remain a bleak wasteland as far as other options are concerned.

    I have found it very difficult to clear my mind and heart of the ex. First came no contact.Then all sorts of self hypnosis and EFT . Lots of dating (couldnt touch one of them) and still, after 15 months my inner radar KNEW when he was nearby. I was flat , exhausted and on edge and crying about him after NOT for lasted two days and lifted as fast as it came.

    Sure enough , I discovered he was in my area (not safely overseas as i thought) , he was in my TOWN. I always got this knowing when he was around years ago.This sort of disturbing connection doesnt erase quickly or easily , but I am MUCH better now and suddenly ..voila…I have THREE CDs wanting to spend time with me, out of nowhere..old friends all three, driving to me from afar , one cooking for me ..

    All very strange happenings.

  49.  #49Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 3:55 am

    Anyway I’ve got to iron my clothes for tonight and go do my make up and hair. Woohoo date with ModelCD tonight!! He’s not AS hot as Dicaprio, but very very close…

    Oh and I have a funny story to tell you all about Dicaprio and ModelCD… you gonna ROFL (haha BW!!) at me!

    Later, when I’m in the bus I’ll post about this and about why I’m going to say no to SkiCD…

  50.  #50Butterfly Wings on March 7, 2012 at 3:56 am

    Ha! Lizka, you sound similar to me! ๐Ÿ˜€

  51.  #51Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 4:01 am

    Ah no I hate that!

    It’s now -4 degrees (celcius) in Montreal, feeling like -11. But this afternoon it’s gonna be… 11 DEGREES!!!!

    I don’t know what to wear? My big winter jacket not to freeze my ass this morning? Or my cute princess spring trench not to look like an idiot this afternoon? Plus the cute trench really makes me look like a Duchess of Campridge or something… very classy…

  52.  #52Lena on March 7, 2012 at 4:06 am

    He answered that he still likes me but he is not ready for anth serious yet and he didnt like ehat happend that night…

    I let myself go and I wrote him 3 big messages. I said I am not ready either and I just want to see where it will go. It doesnt mean that we cant be sweet to each other. I told him I dont need to tell him what to feel and what to do… Blast… I really went out there but my heart really wanted to tell all this. That I just want to feel cared for, to have fun, to kiss and hug… I want to give things to someone and it would be good if it wold be him but I dont want to give all this to someone who doesnt need me or this. I apologized for that night too – I said I wasnt aiming to make him feel bad… Thats me again being too emotional… I guess I desperately want to be loved… And it shows in every sentence of my messages… I told him its up to him what he wants to do with all this and me and that he can talk to me if he feels bad about smth. I think I went overboard… But its like again me being “too big” with everything…

  53.  #53Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 4:13 am

    Thanks Sirenity. That makes a lot of sense, and I actually got a chuckle thinking of my wasteland. ๐Ÿ™‚ That is probably a very solid and clear example of what my dating self must look like to men. I tend to over explain when asked questions, or answer too honestly. It should be intesting when I meet someone new, now that I know all the tools and rules, to start fresh, say less (I talk a lot when I’m nervous), lean back and see what happens.

    So sever the emotional connection by keeping my no sex boundry so I can make room in my heart for the new person. Ok, that makes sense and it’s an easy thought to focus on. All this stuff makes sense, it just seems easier said than done especially because I can’t have no contact.

  54.  #54Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 4:29 am


  55.  #55Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 4:39 am

    I have not heard from my guy last night lol. I feel that I need to address this behavior, just not sure how.

    I once told him at the beginning when he asked when i can see him, I named 2 days, he said he would check and let me know and only called me after both days passed.. saying he had a horrible week and was in a bad mood. I said I felt so sorry about his week, but when we set dates to meet and I don’t hear from him it makes me feel unimportant and I don’t like that. He did hear me that time. When we were in a similar situation again later he told me that he would let me know before I arrive home (we were parting at his door like at midnight) and he did ๐Ÿ˜‰

    But I am not enjoying this hide and seek situation now and still there are no plans to meet.

  56.  #56Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 4:42 am


    What if you think about this not in terms of ‘cleaning the space’ or ‘letting go’ of the ‘old’ relationship (as I don’t believe it feels ‘old’ to either of you) but more like meeting new people, having new experiences, having some fun? You learn from everyone you meet, right? And you have to practice the tools, especially considering all the great work on yourself that you are doing ๐Ÿ˜‰

  57.  #57LoveAlways on March 7, 2012 at 4:59 am

    Good morning sirens.
    About to get up and out for the day.
    I have a quick question . . .
    CD assertive ends nearly every text or conversation with “I love you”
    What do I say in return?
    I don’t want a full blown discussion each time!
    I don’t want to give a feeling message because it makes me uncomfortable since I know he wants me to love him back. I don’t take his feelings lightly and I don’t want to ruin a good time. Lately I just say nothing in response and just smile. So far this feels best to me. He doesn’t seem sad or anything, but rather confident. I am open with my feelings that I like him, my heart is open to him and I do not want to be hurt. I’ve told him the truth that deep down, I feel he will move on to the next challenging woman eventually.
    so I desk my feelings and I’m authentic with him. But this I love you everyday makes me feel awkward sometimes. Guess I’m just venting.

  58.  #58LoveAlways on March 7, 2012 at 5:01 am

    Desk = speak

  59.  #59Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 5:07 am


    yeah do you have to say anything at all?

  60.  #60Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 5:08 am


    Thank you for answering to me on the prior thread, I just read your response.

  61.  #61Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 5:18 am

    I tool very good care to my look this morning. I wanted to look spring and fresh. I wear a cute dress an a very classy shirt under and because all the magazines these days say to wear more color for spring I picked a green cardigan. Green is not my favourite colour at all, but a few minutes after wearing it, I remember how I got so many compliments when I wear green, and specificaly this cardigan colour. Apparently fits really well with my eyes and hair and skin color.

    I’m happy I had the idea to wear this cardigan on the day of my date with ModelCD. ๐Ÿ™‚

  62.  #62Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 5:24 am

    So about the guy who invited me to ski and why I’m going to say no.

    He asked if I ski. I said I have a snowboard in my closet yes. Lol. So he asked if we could do a ski day. I said it would feel great but that he was not allowed to make fun of me. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Than he said I could meet him there. He knows I don’t have a car. The mountain is like 2 hours drive from the city… WHEN YOU HAVE A CAR!! So I said I don’t think there is a metro station at this mountain, lol. He said if I could get to his house (wich is half way) we could go together. Hello dummy?!? Do I really look like someone who’s gonna pay 20$ for bus and take a 2 hours something bus OUTSIDE of my city to go ski with a dude I haven’t seen for over 5 years?? Haha NO?

    Just looking for a good way to let him know I’m out of this plan…

  63.  #63Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 5:31 am

    Thanks Memulo…. see, this is my way of having closure, at least as much closure as I can get since I still have him in my life. Thanks for the reminder that I don’t need to think that way. I am hormonal, should just ignore my thinking about 4 days a month, as it’s usually my NV popping up to say some yucky things to me.

    I have a lot of housework to catch up on, as team procrastination must have taken a vacation! I’m going to focus on getting stuff done around here today and attempt to be so busy, that I stop overthinking.

    Getting out, meeting new people and having some fun sounds good to me. I’ll see what meetups are happening this weekend and hopefully go to something fun. Not sure yet of when I’ll have the girls, but it’s a safe bet I can plan on Saturday night for some fun! (and something different) I want different.

  64.  #64Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 5:38 am

    Lizka remember that men tease each other to bond. He might be trying to bond with you and this is the best way he knows how. Telling him “that he was not allowed to make fun of me’ would likely be pushing his resistance button if you said it this way. What I have experimented with is “I don’t want to feel ridiculed”.

    Thinking of him as dummy could likely come out in energy in your vibe so I would try to switch that. Maybe say something like “I appreciate the offer and am open to doing it when you are available to pick me up”.

    You see a diva knows her worth and does not need to get defensive if a man doesn’t value her or his time with her because she knows someone else. Just appreciate him, wish him cheery O to go enjoy himself while you enjoy yourself doing something else.

    As you build awareness you notice the things people say that trigger this kind of defensiveness in you and how your brain plays it out in your speech so you can change it even if he is a dummy.

  65.  #65Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 5:39 am

    Ok and now the super funny story…

    You all rememer that last Friday Dicaprio mentionned he ha a new roomate moving in and that when it would be done, he would invite me over for shisha…

    Well guess who’s the new roommate…? MODELCD!!!

    Hahaha that’s a funny situation but it’s ok. Anyway Dicaprio haven’t invite me on a official date yet and we only had friendly conversations by text so far. And I think as long as I haven’t kiss ModelCD I can accept an invitation from Dicaprio… why not? And I still can flirt with him at the party tomorrow night. Why not! Hehe! I can handle that, I’m a siren! I’ll just keep going with the flow.


  66.  #66Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 5:41 am

    Oh FW don’t worry when I said not allowed to make fun of me, it was with a big smiley and he knew it was a joke. And he made a joke about it after…

  67.  #67Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 5:43 am

    LoveAlways I think that even saying nothing is fine. That is letting him have the last word so he knows he can be in charge. It is also allowing the waterwheel of love to pour its contents all over you as you remain receiving mode. If you say it back to him out of a feeling of obligation it might push him away and you might end up feeling resentful anyway. I would take it as him wanting to say it because it makes him feel masculine as he wants to give to you.

    I believe you are thinking too much about him maybe because you are feeling guilty so I would encourage you to ask yourself why am I feeling guilty. You might be surprised at the answer your inner Goddess gives you.

  68.  #68Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 5:45 am

    An abou calling him dummy (in my jead and here on the blog only) I know what you mean but it was also not very serious. Just like I call my friends sometimes when they do something funny/weird. I don’t know, maybe the word dummy is too hard. We have something else in French that is not so serious. Maybe more “silly”? But I don’t have a hater vibe. Dont worry!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  69.  #69Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 5:46 am

    Lizka consider that he might know it was a joke but a new cd might not. Also little things eventually add up so you never know if you continue saying this kind of thing it might become a habit for you and just in case you change your mind about this guy as he changes his behavior you want to have your skills sharpened.

  70.  #70Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 5:48 am

    I understand Lizka but remember that little things/quirks that we find endearing in a person early on at times turn out to be the thing that creates arguments. Example when we say to someone “you always do/say” this or that. I am just suggesting it might be something you want to pay attention to even to find some more enchanting or poetic terms of endearment.

  71.  #71Iamabutterfly on March 7, 2012 at 5:52 am

    Today I am thankful for…

    -free relationship advice! ๐Ÿ™‚

    -my voice, which God has blessed me with. I love it. It is unique and completely mine. I can sing, and when I say sing, I mean SING. Sometimes, when I’ve mindlessly started singing, the whole world seems to stand still and listen. I am so thankful for it and it is my gift. (I feel curious to see what all I can do with it. American Idol? Becoming a big star at Karaoke night? Being the lead singer for a band?)

    -watching Funny Face with Audrey Hephurn and Fred Astaire with my girls last night. I want to dance with Fred Astaire…

    -my friend’s beautiful, soft-spoken, feminine mom, who listened to my troubles last night…

    -SeenmecryCD, because he is so endearingly dorky and he keeps me from obsessing over certain CDs that I will not name…

    -freshly brewed coffee

    -making my co-workers laugh this morning!

    I feel so thankful for my life! ๐Ÿ™‚

  72.  #72Iamabutterfly on March 7, 2012 at 5:57 am

    @68 Lizka – I would be careful about using the word “dummy.” I know it can seem playful to some people, but I know from experience that it can be a big trigger word for a lot of guys…


  73.  #73Iamabutterfly on March 7, 2012 at 6:00 am

    @65 Lizka – ohhh girl, I always seem to find myself in these kinds of situations! Kind of like when one of my favorite CDs (jack Cd’s) roommate asked me out before Jack CD and I had even been out!

  74.  #74Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 6:12 am

    But iamabutterfly, I didn’t call him dummy, lol! I just wrote it hear!!!

  75.  #75LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 6:19 am


    Hi FW,

    I thought of that, that’s why I want to point it out with a FM to see what he has to say about it.

    I winked back, and he responded with a short email saying “Hi, how are you?”

    I will respond when I get home from work today.

    He loves to dance salsa, wowzaaa! Meee toooo!

  76.  #76Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 6:28 am

    Lizka I like how you took care of yourself. I encourage you to keep saying FUN FUN FUN in your head before the date so you keep a focus on what the date is about. While there remember to do some self talk, lean back in your seat as in way down in your pelvis, maybe kind of pat your foot on the ground a bit as a reminder to stay in your body and your feelings. I hope your day go fast and easy today so you can stay in your feminine for the date. I am wondering what you could maybe do for 15 mins that could get you to consciously switch to your feminine side in preparation?

  77.  #77LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 6:31 am



    I do have an open mind that he could mean anything.

    That’s why I want to express my position on it in a FM to see what he has to say about it without shutting the door in his face.

    He is only 4 years younger than me and surely he has seen my indications on my profile : my age and I that I do not want to have my own children while I wouldn’t mind if my future partner had children.

    We do have alot in common by our profile details, like dancing salsa. Wowzaaa! ๐Ÿ™‚

  78.  #78siren song on March 7, 2012 at 6:36 am

    i just told a cd i feel weird when we talk because he never responds to anything i say…almost ever. he seems really bored. so i told him i felt weird and awkward (without saying ‘you’).

    i feel good that i said it felt weird.

  79.  #79LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 6:43 am



    I’m at the same point you are.

    I do feel afraid to let go. It must be fear of the unknown.
    I felt fearless a couple of weeks ago and enjoyed the thought of having an open field.
    But when my potential CDs poofed, I started doubting myself and getting attracted to the thought of my familiar ex.
    I keep asking myself ‘what if I would have done this differently? What if I use Rori’s tools and he falls in love with me for real and he shifts from survival mode to being completely devoted, loyal and comitted?’

    Staying focused on this one man feels just as scary to me as cd’ing with other men…either way feels just as scary.

  80.  #80Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 6:57 am

    RE 55 Memulo I believe you will get his attention more effectively if when he asks to meet you can so “oh I didn’t hear from you so I assumed you were busy and made arrangements to do________________(fill in the blanks with whatever here). He should feel like he has to hustle to fit into your busy schedule. What you have said thus far suggests you have nothing going on in your life but him. He might be finding it hard to believe that he alone has all the power to make you happy and it might feel a bit frightening to him.

  81.  #81LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 7:04 am



    Getting out there and having men’s attention does make me feel like a prize, which makes me feel valuable and that I don’t have to settle for sitting on the shelf waiting for that one man.

    It still feels very scary, and the thought of another man stepping up also feels scary…I feel like a big ball of fear about everything and everyone. But I know I have to do it all anyway regardless of my fear.
    We need to breakthrough those fears to bloom as flowers.

    I went for coffea at a coffea shop w my friend the other night. I hadn’t sat at a coffea shop in 6 or 7 years…the setting of this place has changed tremendously since then.
    I noticed people of all ages, reading, texting, internet browsing, alone, accompanied…it has become a real social hangout.
    A friendly unknown man came to chat with my friend, she really caught his eye.
    It made her feel good to know she can spark interest, coz she was having relationship issues at the moment.

    I find that there was a time when people hid out behind the internet to meet new people.
    But I notice now that the trend has changed to hanging out in bookstores and coffea shops to meet new people in addition to the internet.

    Just being exposed like my friend was can feel good and break the ice.

    You are beautiful inside and outside, and you are worth being seen and enjoyed by people.

  82.  #82Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 7:14 am

    Lena I suspect that you might benefit from just focussing on slowing yourself down. Remember you don’t have to get it all right and you don’t have to get it all wrong. You can choose to just stay still in the water for a while and let it all just settle.

  83.  #83Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 7:39 am

    FW –

    ” I am wondering what you could maybe do for 15 mins that could get you to consciously switch to your feminine side in preparation?”

    i think I’m gonna go window shopping on lunch time and look at all the pretty spring dresses. Sounds like a good idea?

  84.  #84Iamabutterfly on March 7, 2012 at 7:45 am

    @74 Lizka – good to know! I feel silly. I’ll be more careful when posting first-thing-in-the-morning…hehe.

  85.  #85Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 7:48 am

    Yes it does sound like a good idea Lizka.

  86.  #86Mel on March 7, 2012 at 7:56 am


    Noticing myself feeling bad that I didn’t get a morning message today. When things become routine we come to expect them. I don’t want to expect anything of him. I would not want to be expected to do anything. I’m proud of myself for noticing these thoughts and feeling the bad feelings they created.

    I’m going to give myself a morning message…

    Good morning beautiful Mel! I wish you a happy and productive morning, complete with warmth and smiles and success and love flowing ever towards you. xoxo

  87.  #87Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 8:14 am

    Join Christie Marie Sheldonโ€™s energy clearing session and break free from the 25 Abundance Blocks holding you back from a life of affluence & contribution.

  88.  #88Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 8:14 am


    Thank you. I was thinking to respond to his next contact not immediately and say I am booked. We don’t talk lol, so he has no idea what’s going on in my life. he doesn’t know that I went to a party on Sat night and was approached by men, that I went to a gallery opening on Monday with friends, that my parents are arriving for a visit tonight, etc. It is true I am not going on dates with anyone else, but I still spend time with my friends.

  89.  #89Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 8:20 am

    Did You Know:

    Words form only 7% of our communication with anyone, including spouses. Tone of voice accounts for 38% and body language is responsible for 55% of the messages spouses receive from each other.

    Source: Sari Harrar

    Featured Topic: What Makes Him Think You’re Too Needy

    For most women, this is one of the most stinging accusations a man can make with its childlike implications. Yet, women often donโ€™t realize how they unconsciously contribute to this perception. Often in relationships, many women purposely behave in an independent and strong manner which causes the man in the relationship to have an unrealistic view of her.

    When a woman mistakenly believes that always being positive and upbeat and never voicing her concerns will cause a man to find her more appealing, she is only half right. While men do find that approach appealing, this approach is doomed for failure because they have fallen prey to the believe that men want a woman who is convenient when in reality men always prefer the woman who can own a man’s heart.

    For over time, this approach causes a man to think that a woman doesnโ€™t have any needs and that nothing bothers them. As such, as the relationship continues to progress, and issues remain ignored and/or unattended to, emotions begin to build up inside of these women.

    Then, after weeks or months some an unpleasant incident occurs that causes her to gush emotions. The emotion could be sadness, agitation, the impulse to know what heโ€™s doing all the time, to talk to him frequently, and so on.

    The man is not accustomed to seeing this type of behavior and/or these intense feelings from this woman. He often wonders what happened to the laid back easygoing woman he has been with for the past few weeks. Frequently, this chain of events can lead to a break up, and the woman is left to wonder what she can do to get her man back.

    Here is what I tell my clientsโ€ฆLet the man in your life know when something bothers you before it builds up. If you simply hold it in there will come a day when your emotions will overwhelm youโ€ฆ.and him.

  90.  #90Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 8:21 am

    RE 89 – It was received from Bob Grant

  91.  #91Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 8:25 am

    Memulo it seems you stay in touch mostly by text. I would next time he texts, call him and tell him he is most likely to get a response from me when he calls. Then I would absolutely stop texting. This will show his capacity or willingness to move in the direction you want. In any event you don’t want a text/phone relationship. What you want is someone in your life.

  92.  #92Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 8:38 am


    Yes, though lately we’ve been exchanging voice mails lol.

    I wonder if Bob Grant encourages us to share our problems/concerns about our everyday life that don’t have anything to do with a relationship.. I guess that depends on the level of closeness and our comfort level

  93.  #93Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 8:49 am

    “Love is where itโ€™s at โ€“ and it starts within us.

    Loving yourself no matter what is a bigger idea than it sounds. Letting the icky stuff be heard and seen is what weโ€™ve spent our lives and energy PREVENTING happening โ€“ and now Iโ€™m asking you to LET it happen!

    Step-by-step, we become who we really are โ€“ and the thing is โ€“ each step of the way, we have NO idea what the next step will look like!

    Itโ€™s easy to get so scared of the unknown next step that we hold ourselves in harness โ€“ and then get angry about the ropes and straps tying us down.”

    Love, Rori

  94.  #94Goodheart on March 7, 2012 at 8:52 am

    Oooh Mel, I like that. Sending love to ourselves when we are feeling neglected or deprived.

    It always starts within us. What a great reminder – just what I needed today.

    I also always say to myself “when you want more love, be more loving.”

    I LOVE me! I am frisky & magical ๐Ÿ™‚

  95.  #95Starla on March 7, 2012 at 8:52 am


  96.  #96Starla on March 7, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I had a nice date with CF last night. He wanted to swing by his sister’s job to drop something off to her while he was in town, on our way to something planned for our date. I was okay with this, yet I felt a little weird and unimportant. It took me a minute to find the words in my own head, but when I finally opened my mouth, I managed to express my discomfort with grace.

    Being with him last night felt very sweet. He cooked for me and was always rubbing my back and shoulders and kissing me all over and is just totally sweet. He never tires of it. It’s been like 9 months I think? And he is more affectionate than ever. I’m used to things fizzling out or getting “annoying” by now.

  97.  #97Starla on March 7, 2012 at 9:00 am

    I managed to express my discomfort without making him wrong or making any demands. I just FELT better sharing my feelings on it. Like a big weight lifted.

    I feel lovely when I’m with him.

  98.  #98lk on March 7, 2012 at 9:11 am

    by the late Robert Muller, former assistant secretary-general of the United Nations


    Decide to forgive

    For resentment is negative

    Resentment is poisonous

    Resentment diminishes and devours the self.

    Be the first to forgive,

    To smile and to take the first step

    And you will see happiness bloom

    On the face of your human brother or sister.

    Be always the first

    Do not wait for others to forgive

    For by forgiving

    You become the master of fate

    The fashioner of life

    A doer of miracles.

    To forgive is the highest,

    Most beautiful form of love.

    In return you will receive

    Untold peace and happiness.

    And here is the program for achieving a truly forgiving heart:

    SUNDAY: Forgive yourself.

    MONDAY: Forgive your family.

    TUESDAY: Forgive your friends and associates.

    WEDNESDAY: Forgive across economic lines within your own nation.

    THURSDAY: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nation.

    FRIDAY: Forgive across political lines within your own nation.

    SATURDAY: Forgive other nations.

    Only the brave know how to forgive. A coward never forgives.

    It is not in his nature.

  99.  #99Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 9:16 am


    I feel curious, what did you say? Imagining myself in a similar situation I think I’d feel the need to be supportive since it’s his family and he has to take care of them.

  100.  #100Starla on March 7, 2012 at 9:17 am

    lk that’s beautiful:)

  101.  #101Goodheart on March 7, 2012 at 9:22 am

    I don’t know if any of you have been watching the Bachelor this season (I’ve only seen it sporadically), but Monday night I was watching (with my bf) the Girls Tell All episode. They brought back the “Villain” Courtney and all the girls were just shredding her.

    I said to my bf, “what if just one of the girls came it from the point of view of compassion? I mean, just forget about right or wrong or anything else & just feel compassion for this woman?” He didn’t understand at first, but slowly he got it.

    I said I know I need to do this in my own life. And I have. Even the people who I perceived as hurting me deeply – I’ve not only forgiven, but felt overwhelming love for. When you get that place of complete alignment within yourself & feel compassion & love it is so transformative.

    I swear it even heals the body.

  102.  #102lk on March 7, 2012 at 9:23 am

    i exist without hierarchies or authorities. i don’t believe in intellectual property. i’m sovereign of my own kingdom… & yet i was not the creator…i make nothing, so i cannot have guilt. i forgive myself & others infinitely, out past even the idea that there is something “other” at all

  103.  #103Goodheart on March 7, 2012 at 9:27 am

    I have to remind myself of this because I fall into the blaming (he did this to me, she did that to me) pit at times. Luckily, I catch myself pretty quickly.

    Working on catching myself while it’s happening.

    And moving into compassion before the blaming even starts.

  104.  #104Goodheart on March 7, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Even, or maybe especially, when I’m blaming myself.

  105.  #105Starla on March 7, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Well he said we needed to swing by her job on the way to our destination. I said “okay.” But I didn’t mean it so I felt weird. I said “ohhh i feel weird.” and he asked what was up. And I told him I wasn’t actually sure if I should say something (I wasn’t sure…i thought maybe I am being bratty and I should let it pass). And then we talked abstractly about when we should and shouldn’t open our mouths. Then he said “you might as well tell me, Starla!” and I just abruptly walked away without telling him hahahaha. I was feeling off balance and needed to clean off the dinner table anyway.

    Then we sat down to eat and I took a few bites to feel more balanced (was sooo hungry) and I told him:

    “I feel like I should stand up for myself.” And he said “okay, stand up for yourself!” (awww thank you CF)

    “I know you live in another city now, and I don’t take pleasure in bleeding a man dry with him making several trips back to the city when he could organize it all more efficiently. But I also don’t want to feel like an afterthought or unimportant when you come to see me, so I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel. I would just feel bad if it became an issue so I’m feeling like I should stand up for myself. What do you think?”

    Then he talked about it with me and i felt instantly better.

    we went to his sister’s job and when we were leaving, he thanked me for letting him do that, and I had forgotten all about it even bothering me by then, because I felt so much better when we talked earlier, and I told him so.

  106.  #106Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 9:52 am

    oh no ๐Ÿ™

    My wonderful vibe as gone down a little bit in the last hour…

    People at my office were getting ready for lunch hour. One of the girl (the one who is a good friend with ATW) said she was going out for lunch. Than another one almost screamed “WITH ATW???”

    So I started feeling a little weird. I know they are just friends and she has a boyfriend and she’s going to NYC this weekend to see him but I feel sad that he has all that time for her and didn’t had time for me in 4 weeks. I am trying very hard not to think of that, but when situations like this happens, it’s hard not to remember that he apparently have better things to do and can only say “soon soon soon” to me…

    But that’s not all. So I decided I would not go window shopping during my lunch because I don’t want to run into them in the mall.

    So two collegues and I are going outside to smoke and who is standing there down my building, waiting for my collegue to go dinner… well yeah… ATW!

    He was on the phone with a client so he just waved at us and we just continued our discussion but when he hang up he said hi to everyone and nothing special for me, almost didn’t look at me.

    I tried to be as warm and open and smily as I could and I think I did great. When the girl came meet him, they left (they were finally with another of my co worker and also one of his female friend) I said “bon apetit!” with the warmest smile.

    I hope I did ok.

    It’s been 2 times in 2 days that I run into him in the street. Why isn’t he contacting me? That feels pretty bad… I am feeling a little angry I think even if I don’t want to.

  107.  #107lk on March 7, 2012 at 9:52 am

    i kept getting all tied up in knots over, “what to do when – ” or ” what if ” — & it’s just, “forgive” now in my head

  108.  #108Starla on March 7, 2012 at 9:54 am


  109.  #109Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 9:59 am

    I try to tell myself it’s ok, it means ABSOLUTELY nothing that he went out for lunch with these people, but I feel weird anyway and can’t go back to my state of mind from this morning.

    Suggestions anyone?

  110.  #110Shar-lean way back on March 7, 2012 at 10:07 am

    Hi Sirens, Just want to announce I am engaged ๐Ÿ™‚

  111.  #111Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 10:09 am

    RE 110 Yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  112.  #112Starla on March 7, 2012 at 10:10 am


    when is the wedding?

  113.  #113Shar-lean way back on March 7, 2012 at 10:16 am

    Thanks FW ..I’m a little scared. I have been divorced for 28 years. Guess it’s time to give it another try. LOL! I will have to stay focused on not losing myself. In case you haven’t notice I am an introvert. I do not like conflict so it’s been hard for me to say how I feel. And sometimes I dont even know what I feel. But I can always say I love myself and I believe it. This is the most important thing I have learned from Rori. It is always a process, always, but just gets better.

  114.  #114Shar-lean way back on March 7, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Starla, we are looking at August maybe. There is an event in Colorado (your state I think?) he wants to attend and he suggested then.

  115.  #115Shar-lean way back on March 7, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I am such an introvert that I almost didn’t post that I’m engaged. But wanted to let you know that Rori’s stuff works. It is the same guy that brought me to Rory in Nov 2010.

  116.  #116Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 10:24 am

    Thank you Starla, makes sense!

  117.  #117Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 10:25 am


    Congrats!!!!! Much love and happiness ๐Ÿ™‚

  118.  #118Daria on March 7, 2012 at 10:28 am

    Lizka – ATW SUCKS! not looking at you? no way!

    DROPPED! ugh no offense but i already knew it the second time yall hooked up

    im like shes gonna give in and its bs. grrrr

  119.  #119Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 10:29 am

    I wonder what’s the best course of action next time he does call me lol. Pick up if I see the phone ringing and then shortly say that I am really busy (I am busy today and tomorrow) and will call him another time?

  120.  #120Calypso on March 7, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Hello Sirens . . .

    I have a delima. Two men.

    The first is GM – we had a relationship. We were hot & heavy for 3 months and then he got scared. We struggled for another few months and then our time together started becoming less and less. I finally told him I was moving on and he agreed I should – he could not get over his fear of getting hurt again so soon after his divorce. It has now been a year since we met – I have not seen him in 2 months, but we have texted and talked on the phone.

    Along came SL via a dating site. We have been seeing each other for 2 months now and he makes me laugh every day. BUT – I still have very deep feelings for GM and now he has reached out to me. He wants to tell me how he feels – apparently he has been in therapy.

    BUT – I told him I am now dating SL and now he says he can’t do anything to break us up. (SL tells me he loves me and we have been intimate, but still . . . I am carrying a torch for GM) I told GM he just needs to be honest with me about his feelings and how I respond to them is my decision. My feelings for GM are deeper than anything i have ever felt for a man. If there is a chance for us to be together, I need to know it. The longer I go without knowing what it is he wants to tell me, the more my tension builds up. SL asked me at least 3 times last night at dinner what I was thinking . . . ugh!

    I need to understand what my options are before I can decide what is best for me – I need to know how I am going to FEEL when I see GM again and he tells me of his feelings.

    1. Do I tell SL of my issues or keep my mouth shut for now – I’m leaning toward keeping my mouth shut!
    2. Do I encourage GM to come talk to me (He wanted to go out last night, but I told him I already had plans for dinner with SL) or just wait him out? Keep in mind it is KILLING ME not knowing what he is thinking – I can not focus on ANYTHING right now.

    Help a sister siren . . .

  121.  #121Starla on March 7, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Yes, my state. Summers are great here:)

  122.  #122Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 10:32 am

    ATW may not be looking at her because he is nervous, she didn’t jump to his last text.

  123.  #123Starla on March 7, 2012 at 10:35 am

    Memulo, pick up the phone and say “oh hi, it feels so good to hear your voice! I am feeling just so swamped right now…when do you think is a good time to call you back?”

    just an idea.

  124.  #124Shar-lean way back on March 7, 2012 at 10:37 am

    I did lean forward when we broke up. Oh my gosh it was so hard not to.( newborn Siren just found Rori) But on my last lean I told him I was on my horse and I was riding down the road ( I have a horse so this made sense to him) and he would always be on with me but to move him on back I was going to start dating. And after that it was like something snapped and I didnt lean forward or want to. It was about a month and he was back. I never did date but I was in the process and he jokingly asked me if it had. I didnt say yes and I didnt say no. I just sort of laughed. And I no longer had all my focus on him. If he wasnt making plans to do something with me I was doing my stuff.

  125.  #125Starla on March 7, 2012 at 10:38 am

    how about “ATW feels girly and boring.”

    Lizka, I wouldn’t take anything personally with these guys anymore. It feels dis-empowering to do that, like you’re not the prize or something.

  126.  #126Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Daria he did looked at me but yeah, like Memulo said, he sounded nervous….

    I don’t think it was to be mean or ignore me. I think he just didn’t know what to do.

    Hehe happy I handled it better than him at least ๐Ÿ™‚

    Daria, what does “bs” mean? Like in “shes gonna give in and its bs”

  127.  #127Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 10:40 am


    Thank you. Was thinking that if by any 1% chance he wants to make plans to meet, I won’t even know if I tell him I’m busy right away lol. If I wait a min and see what this is about , I can always reject the meet up plan and then get off the phone!! Am I an evil girl or what lol!

  128.  #128Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Starla – with what guys? My collegues?

  129.  #129Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 10:43 am

    bull shi!!!t

    I agree with Daria. He already slept with you how nervous can he be or why should he be nervous?

    Pleeease. He is showing you what he wants and who he is. Pay attention.

  130.  #130Starla on March 7, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Lizka, the guys you’re dating, like ATW. I would stop taking it personally as a reflection of their desire for you, and more as a reflection of their lame-ass personalities, hahahaha.

  131.  #131Starla on March 7, 2012 at 10:45 am

    In other words, start getting bored with them, not insecure about yourself.

  132.  #132Dominique on March 7, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Wishing you everything you wish for Shar-lean way back.


  133.  #133Starla on March 7, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Also, if you just lean back completely, ATW WILL be back. Maybe next time, you won’t sleep with him so quickly, and you’ll find that you feel more solid in yourself.

  134.  #134Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 10:47 am

    I feel teary now. ๐Ÿ™

    Aren’t we suppose to “not talk sh*t” about our men?

  135.  #135Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Well I AM leaning back completely!

    I haven’t contact him or even reply to his message in 1.5 week.

    And even in my thoughts I am leaning back, trying to focus on my fabulous life and on my new CDs…

    What am I doing wrong?

  136.  #136Brenda on March 7, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Amazing me,Amazing Me,

    Thank you for asking. I am on no contact with ryan. He proved beyond doubt that he is continuing to try to hurt me and I don’t wanna be around a toxic person. I am experiencing huge deep levels of inner healing as I keep learning, loving myself, and feeling.

  137.  #137Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Lizka if you keep your focus on how you will feel on your date later and on making plans for other dates with other cd you will be doing swimmingly well. Anyone who is not jumping up and down to grab you up for a date is just a doggy snack. Here this minute gone the next. Spend no time trying to figure out what was meant by what he did or didn’t do.

  138.  #138Starla on March 7, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Lizka, you’re not doing anything wrong. I think you take far too much responsibility on yourself for how interactions go. This is a good thing, but only in moderation, like how you worried that if you turned down his offer to go to the country with the car at the last minute, it would push him away.

    I think that you need to be more of a “b*tch” or a diva and worry less about these guys. Put yourself first. Get comfortable saying no.

  139.  #139Shar-lean way back on March 7, 2012 at 11:02 am

    aww thanks Dominique. I can say the hardest thing for me is saying how I feel. But I am getting better at it and the more I love myself the more everything becomes natural. It’s just a combination of everything learned here. Just trying to remember it (cell memory) and breaking old patterns. One of the most helpful tools is not getting into his head. What does that mean ? why did he say or do that? I do it sometimes but then stop myself and bring it back to love for me.
    Anyway that’s what the blog does for me. When I read all the comments and help given here, it keeps me aware of the tools. And so many times it’s a aha moment and oh yeah I forgot about that.
    Also I have used your tools to relax and melt when being intimate. That is hard too. Sometimes I am concentrating to hard on relaxing ๐Ÿ™‚

  140.  #140Starla on March 7, 2012 at 11:02 am

    What i mean is when you worried about if telling him no to a last minute date ruined things, you were taking too much responsibility for how things go.

    I agree with what FW said about him being just a snack.

  141.  #141Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Just in case this bump in the street happens again I don’t think I would say “bon apetit” or be smily and warm unless I am singled out in some way. I would be more smily thinking how delicious my lunch is going to taste and how happy I will be eating with friends.

  142.  #142Mochaberri on March 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

    Hello Sirens!!! Just checking in!!!

  143.  #143Dominique on March 7, 2012 at 11:17 am

    Lizka – You haven’t done anything wrong. You can be letter perfect (whatever this means), but if the man is unable to “be the man”, step up, then he’s just not able. It has nothing to do with you.

    bisous toutoune

  144.  #144Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Well we don’t know, maybe ATW invited this girl for lunch to ask her for a romantic advice on his situation with Lizka ๐Ÿ˜‰ So what if they know each other well, times change, women break relationships as much as men do, he may still feel insecure. Whether Lizka wants him or not is a different issue. This week she has a lot of stuff going on, would be nice to focus on that.

  145.  #145Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 11:23 am


    When I saw him in the street, I focused on the wonderful things that are happening to me lately.

    While he was on the phone and not attentive to me and my two collegues, I asked them what is playing in theaters these days and told them I am going to the movies tonight (didn’t say with a date though). I did not say it for him to hear. I did it to make me smile and make me feel good.

  146.  #146Starla on March 7, 2012 at 11:44 am

    I am feeling so excited about my future and my life. Sometimes it felt uncomfortable but I have pushed myself past my comfort zone in terms of financial beliefs and behaviors. I have saved up a bunch of money, paid down a lot of debt, and am going to keep going with it.

    The only loose end I feel right now is that I still haven’t heard from grad school one way or another if they’ll have me.

    I feel confused why they haven’t rushed to accept me:P I’m a great candidate hehehee.

  147.  #147T-Girl on March 7, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Congrats Shar!

  148.  #148Daria on March 7, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Yay Shar!

  149.  #149Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Hi Mocha

  150.  #150Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Hehe I am at work and totally not working… I am looking at the flower shops and selecting the nicest flowers to send to myself for Monday ๐Ÿ™‚

  151.  #151turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Welp, so much for space and distance. He texted to ask if we can have CM’s birthday party for his side of the family Saturday at our house. That was the original plan, in 2 weeks… but he can’t come then because of work. The other day he said he’d have it where they live…. (about 45 min. away)

    It’ ok, I want them to see the house, as most haven’t…. but not what I thought would be happening this weekend. Well… be surprised right?

  152.  #152Mel on March 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    I feel so super amused. Now I got a lurve from my Mr. A. Heehee…. luv, lurve, I’m crazy about you, estoy enamorado…. almost as though he’s making every effort NOT to say the L-word. This actually makes me feel special and smiley and worthy of better words even… ๐Ÿ™‚

  153.  #153Mel on March 7, 2012 at 12:57 pm


    I feel so proud of you for staying on your horse and choosing to take care of yourself and keeping the focus on you, and staying positive. I feel inspired! โ™ฅ

  154.  #154Starla on March 7, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Mel, what are you gonna do when he finally looks you in the eyes and says “I love you”?

  155.  #155Mel on March 7, 2012 at 1:03 pm


    Probably smirk and say Oh… I know! LOL

  156.  #156Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Awww ModelCD is way too cute!!

    He wrote “Work like a mule till 5-5.30, then meet you downtown and then wherever the mood and sun takes us. Oui?”

    Then we exchange some bla bla about the plan and I said “That feels like the perfect plan!”

    He said “Haha I like the positivity ๐Ÿ™‚ ”


    I’m totally back in my ATW-who?-Anyway-I-feel-better-without-You mood. Haha and notice the rhyme!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  157.  #157Mel on March 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    My guess is that he probably wants it to be really, really special. Like Susan says… when he’s ready to ACT on his plans for us.

  158.  #158Mel on March 7, 2012 at 1:09 pm


    Does CF say it?

  159.  #159Mel on March 7, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    Yay Lizka!

  160.  #160Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Free Therapy:
    Looking at every man who shows up in your life as a Messenger, with something to teach you and help you with. For the moment you are with him, he is your โ€œTherapist.โ€
    Circular Dating with no goals except to practice the Tools.
    Practicing Boundaries and Moving Away from a man who feels โ€œunsafe.โ€
    Practicing Openness, Vulnerability and Authenticity, regardless of how you feel about a man, as long as he feels โ€œsafe.โ€

    Men (and women, too) who show up to tell you something or teach you something. Men who are around you to facilitate you. Instead of judging a man, look for the Message.

    If your man demonstrates primarily Feminine energy in his life and your relationship, it will automatically compel you to step up into your Masculine Energy โ€“ in order to balance the Energy Exchange and to get things done. Outgirling is reversing that. Itโ€™s going โ€œfull-out Girlโ€ inside the relationship. This can look like doing nothing, and may result in nothing happening at all in your relationship except sitting around like two girls. Itโ€™s the only way to right a seriously unbalanced Energy Exchange.

    Back To The Wall:
    Moving and Leaning Back as far as you can. Outgirling to the max. Whatever happens, you Leanback, Move Back, and stay in Girl energy
    Literally, in a room at a party, for instance, you would end up standing with your back to the wall and men around you, leaning toward you.

  161.  #161Mel on March 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    “….sitting around like two girls. ”

    The thought of this makes me smile. Better to sit around like two girls then be in a weird bad feeling energy pattern.

    I noticed this weekend that I felt like I was doing too much. Relationship is a dance, and sometimes it feels nice to give… but I noticed myself feeling off and out of balance when i did too much. So I am in super lean-back mode and enjoying the love coming towards me again.

    I feel better being the girl.

  162.  #162Starla on March 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    No, it’s slipped, but he hasn’t SAID it.
    i also think he’s saving it for when he can act on it.

    CF is looking for a higher paying job now, and in general just getting ready for commitment. ๐Ÿ˜€

  163.  #163Butterfly Wings on March 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    Hi everyone! I’m only up to post #51 so will catch up later today! I just wanted to check in and tell you about my night.

    I was feeling a little sore after doing that Bodyrock workout, and was actually sitting in bed (as I posted earlier), when TH announced that “we” were going to the gym! What?

    It was 10.30pm!! I was talking to Peaches on FB at the time and she suggested I remind him that I’d done a workout earlier. It didn’t work, so I figured he was going to keep nagging if I said no, so I gave in.

    So we went to the gym and apart from two others who later left, we had it to ourselves. And we had fun! We did weights and he kept laughing because he was lifting massive weights compared to my teeny weeny ones (I have spaghetti arms). They had these exercise bikes that were actually a game too. So we raced each other – he won… It was fun though!

    On the way home he was saying how good it felt to be going to the gym again (it’s been a while), and was then talking about adding me to his membership so I could keep going with him (instead of going as a guest).

    And then he suggested we go for a walk today and join me up.

    He was in such a good mood – better than I’ve seen him in a long while! And when he came to bed he held me close and it was just fabulous!

    So I feel like we’ve built another little connection there, and he’s keen to go three times a week with me (so that’s three times a week that he will not be doing “boy stuff”) and is determined to lose a LOT more weight (he’s still a very big boy). We were laughing at the mirrors because I look so tiny next to him! He’s so WIDE! haha!

    Aaaahhhh I feel GOOD! And I’m looking forward to catching up with Peaches on Saturday night!

    Life is good! ๐Ÿ™‚

  164.  #164Mel on March 7, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Also, one really, really lovely thing about us “being the girl” is that it makes a man feel masculine. And that’s what makes them want to step-up. And the especially lovely thing is that they don’t even know they are doing anything.

    Mr. A said the other day… “I feel so good with you… I don’t feel like I have to do anything. And I said “Really? But it feels like you do so much for me. I feel cherished and spoiled.” He said “I’m glad. I’m thinking about big ways to spoil you too….”

    I feel excited to find out how. I have an idea… ๐Ÿ™‚

  165.  #165Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    “Practicing Boundaries and Moving Away from a man who feels โ€œunsafe.โ€ ”

    Why whe I said I wanted to move away from ATW everyone here told me not to?

  166.  #166mali on March 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    From the previous thread:

    Lama (<3), BW, and LoveAlways- thankyou so much for your advice… I really needed hugs and pampering and reminders of how beautiful and lovable I am.

    I wanted to say… I feel so alone sometimes. My awareness and perception; the fact that I'm unwilling to initiate with a guy I like… it feels so weird when I look at students my age.

    I end up asking for the advice of my friends, and they think, for example, with J- it wouldn't be a big deal if I texted him first. Because atm we're just friends.

    *sigh* I feel disconnected and lost… Like I don't fit ๐Ÿ™ I feel so alone!

  167.  #167LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    Can anyone help me with this FM?

    It’s in response to this guy who emailed me from Match…” looking to build a family…”

    How about: “I feel curious about your statement in your profile ‘looking to build a family’. Would you like to start a family of your own? Now that I’m in my early 40s, I no longer feel the urge to have my own children. Allthough I do love other peoples’ children, like my nieces and nephew.”

    What do you all think?

  168.  #168Shar-lean way back on March 7, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Thanks Daria and T Girl.

  169.  #169Starla on March 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    LiliBee, why don’t you just get together and THEN ask him these questions?

  170.  #170LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm


    I didn’t see the babble Turquoise.

    I copied and pasted that post to do the same as you…to keep going back to it.

    After reading that, for some reason, I feel less focused on this one man and feel open to any possibility. I am back in my open field of possibilities ๐Ÿ™‚

    I don’t know for sure, but I think that the Iron and vitamine Bs liquid supplement I have been taking in my ‘immuniforce’ fruit juice for the last couple of days may be helping my mood.

    I feel a drop in my mood when I quit taking that for a few weeks. I may be defficient in these nutrients if I don’t take these supplements.
    B vitamins nourish the thyroid gland which does regulate mood hormones…as mentioned by Rori in this post, and my own doctor, and reading up on the vitamin provider’s website.

  171.  #171Femininewoman on March 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    Lizka when did you say ATW feels unsafe?

  172.  #172LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm


    Hi Starla,

    Thanks for the suggestion, but this is 1st contact.
    I don’t feel like waisting time waiting to find out later.

    I’m finding it difficult to juggle 3 or 4 CDs while I’m sick w a cold and starting to have a hectic schedule even without the CDs.

    D is bringing me dinner tonight (I already told him he had to leave by 9:30pm) Holding the no s3x bondary and no gf-bf either.
    Zumba on Thursday night if my cold is better;
    My gf invited me out on Friday night;
    Another gf asked me out on Saturday and is bringing a cd for me.
    A 3rd gf wants to cash in a raincheck for Sunday;

    Then next week starts allover again:
    Appointment with financial planner on Tuesday night;
    At the hairdresser Wednesday night;
    Zumba followed by coffea w gf on Thursday night;
    All girls party on Friday night.

  173.  #173LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm



    That all feels so uplifting to read!

    I wanta Skype too, me too me too me too! ๐Ÿ™‚
    But I won’t be free until next week.

    I Skyped with my mom once when she was on vacation in Florida for a month.

  174.  #174LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm


    You’re so adorably cute You siren You!!!

    You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happyyyy when the sky is grey, you never know dear how much I love you, please don’t take my sunsine awaaayyyy. lol ๐Ÿ™‚

    That song just pops in my head when you are feeling like you do now Sunshine Lizka.

  175.  #175Starla on March 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    haha, i say boot D one night to spend time with the new CD, but I’m just a romantic i suppose;)

  176.  #176Susan on March 7, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    From the previous blog (I just can’t keep up!)

    RE 355: Starla says:

    “I feel like heโ€™s trying to convince me to see him as a nice guy. The thing is, heโ€™s not a nice guyโ€ฆnot my kind of nice guy. He took me for a hike and refused to help me feel safe on the steep, rocky climb, and made fun of me when i struggled.”

    Go with your instincts. He will make you miserable all while claiming to be trying so hard to please you. This kind of guy is crazy-making.

    About 2 years ago, I had a date (just 1) with a guy who seemed very nice. I always ask right away if they had ever cheated on their wives. I tend to get an honest answer if I ask early. This guy said no (most I have asked have said yes.) So I asked him what caused his divorce and he smiled and said he was an arsehole – THEN. But not now. He was charming and nice until I stood up from the table and had forgotten I had a napkin on my lap. It fell to the floor and he snickered and said if it stuck to my foot then people would think it was toilet paper. Walking out of the restaurant I stumbled on uneven ground and he laughed. These small things are indications of a person’s larger character and personality. I had refused to see him again based on those small incidences. I didn’t want to be ridiculed like I had been in my marriage.

    I’ve done lots of dumb stuff in front of Sweet Man and although he sometimes laughs, he isn’t snarky about it. He never makes me feel stupid. If you continue with Alaska, it won’t be long before he is treating you like you are stupid, but doing it in a way where he still looks like the good guy.

  177.  #177Starla on March 7, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Susan, thank you for your response:) I enjoyed hearing your story and how you can relate, although I’m sorry that happened to you.

    Alaska doesn’t stand a chance with me. I’m way out of his league. But none of that matters to me if you’re nice and make me feel good, which he does not.

    I think he’s the first guy I’ve ever fully and outright rejected after giving him a few dates. It feels good, actually!

  178.  #178Susan on March 7, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    It does feel good to make a decision like that that is truly in your best interest. It feels like taking care of yourself! ๐Ÿ™‚

  179.  #179Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    171 FW –

    Yeah it’s true. I didn’t say it. But everyone here says he is bullshiting me and treating me badly. Doesn’t it mean he is not safe for me?

    I don’t know. I don’t really care. I’m back to “that other part of my life” now. ๐Ÿ™‚

  180.  #180Starla on March 7, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Lizka, I’m sorry if I’ve been unclear. I don’t think he treats you badly. Actually, I think that’s besides the point. I think he’s just not stepping up, which should bore you greatly zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz yawn.

    Ultimately, what I feel about you and ATW is that maybe you shouldn’t have slept with him so soon into your new courtship. But it doesn’t matter. Things can turn around on a dime, and he’s already into you and he keeps coming back. So he’ll be back again, and next time, you’ll do an EVEN BETTER job of taking care of yourself.

    But compared to how you described your first time dating ATW, you have come a long way! I feel proud of you, Lizka! Hugs to you!!

  181.  #181Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    Awww thank you Starla!

    Yeah I don’t think he’s doing anything bad. The guy just seems lost. I think he’s like that in every aspect of his life. For example, he sent a message to Siren Angel (we all use to work together) and said they should go for friendly drinks soon. And never came back with a date… I think he’s use to have people call him and make plans with him. When we were together, I noticed that. He never calls people and plan activities with them, it’s always his friends (and there is so many of them!!) who call him and he accepts the plans. I think he’s use (because he’s so friendly with everyone) to have people come to him. He’s very feminine I guess in his interractions with others…

    Anyway, I’m just gonna be more outgirling than ever and either nothing will happen and I will get more bored (I’m already a little bored) or he will finally step up if he’s really really interested.

    Thanks Starla, your post to me felt great and hopeful.

  182.  #182Starla on March 7, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    you are so welcome! and yes yes outgirl the f*ck out of him.

  183.  #183Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    And yes I feel proud of me too!

    If you’ve seen be before I came here ah my god I was a mess!!!

    Begging, crying, screaming, begging more, leaning forward, manipulating, begging even more, making dramas…

    I’m happy where I am now. I am far from perfection, but it’s a real big change!!

  184.  #184Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    Lol @ “outgirl the f*ck out of him.”

  185.  #185Starla on March 7, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    Lizka 183

    haha it’s like we were the same person

  186.  #186Starla on March 7, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    I want to lean forward to CF and call him. I want to tell him how good it felt to just sit on the empty floor of my apartment and do nothing with him, and how good it feels that he can just chill like that with me. And how good it felt having him in my house cooking me dinner while i got to take care of some things.

    I guess I wouldn’t hurt anything. But he leads the calling. I almost NEVER call, ever. I don’t want to upset the energy distribution by leaning forward. It is possible that if I start calling him, he’ll think he doesn’t need to call in order to stay in touch, and I DON’T want that ball in my court. I can express appreciation to him for all the aforementioned stuff when he does call.:)

  187.  #187Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Ohh I hate being such a lier!! He just called and sounded so sweet and coughing like crazy and I talked to him for a couple of minutes and when he said he misses me I said I miss him too, but then I said I’m really really busy and I have to go, I will call him another time. He did ask when is a good time to call me LOL. But I made it in the way so that he will expect my call.

  188.  #188Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 4:27 pm


    My belief is that one exception just confirms the rule ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Of course you should do what feels best. But a small routine change works wonders too!

  189.  #189Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    He kept on saying he is really sick with his cough. When should I call him? Tomorrow is ok or should I wait longer..

  190.  #190Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    Memulo… take your own advice and call when it feels good! ๐Ÿ™‚

  191.  #191sensual on March 7, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    Oooh update! I held out and didn’t text ShyCD when he said “hit me up when u get back” and he just called me! and he wants to cook pizza from scratch together with me tonight and watch a movie – yey!! Awww cooking with a man I like, i’m all excited ๐Ÿ™‚

    Oh and my ex texted me out of the blue today! He’s so sweet but so emotionally unavailable ๐Ÿ™‚

    aaand FWB texted me yesterday and we chatted and he came and picked me up and we had a lovely evening together….i know FWB is what it is, but it felt really lovely and warm and cuddly, he definitely missed me> ๐Ÿ™‚ good day, feeling good! can’t wait for tonight ! yey

  192.  #192Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Wow Sensual, maybe you need to take vacation more often! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  193.  #193Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Thank you Turquoise.. It didn’t feel that great to interrupt the conversation.. but he deserved it ๐Ÿ˜‰

    He did ask where I am going and I didn’t answer that straight. Will have to come up with some excuse another time.

  194.  #194Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    Hmmm…. fairly impressed with my ex that he’s arranged with his mom to bring the pizza, the cake and a cheese and veggie tray for the party on Saturday. They are also taking care of inviting everyone. I just need to clean and I’ll do some goody bags or prizes because CM loves that at a party. I’ll probably do some chocolate covered pretzels or something. He’s going to set up the trampoline too.

    I haven’t asked where he’s planning to stay, but I’m figuring it will be here because he’s coming up after work. I’m putting him to work. I need a curtain rod fixed, a mirror hung, some book shelves moved, and possibly some stuff in the garage re-arranged if we I get enough done by then.

    I am not going to worry about anything. Just going to relax about everything with him, assume we’re not romantic at all and practice my tools, leaning back and being surprised. This weekend is about the girls, and family. I get to show off my amazing home to his family and entertain, which I absolutely love to do.

    My personality is not one to sit back and be taken care of all the time. I love to cook and decorate and plan and make things special. I love being hospitable. It makes me happy. I do love also love that he will be here to help. He’s setting up the trampoline, can do the pooper scooping in the yard, set up tables and chairs, and all those other things I listed. I’m taking advantage of the muscles. I’ll be sweet and nice and thank him so much and make him feel like the man. ๐Ÿ™‚

  195.  #195Daria on March 7, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Memulo – good job practicing saying no (by getting off the phone)

    but the way youre’ doing it is totally playing games!!! ๐Ÿ™

    sorry boo!

    wahtts the truth?

    the truth is you felt kinda unimportant expecting a call when it didnt happen, and you feel a bit off balance now

    (and you’re feeling Compelled by your past patterns to DO something such as control the calling)

    you can share that with him! even the truth about you lying!

    otherwise… you’re not being authentic… and the real YOU is lovable and worthy/!

  196.  #196Daria on March 7, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    Turqoise – “My personality is not one to sit back and be taken care of all the time”

    when i read this i felt tense… i wondered why you were explaining this here… maybe you felt defensive about being in masculine role (doing?)

    i would want to do for my kids too

    personalities change – theyre not the real us

    my personality was the one to take care of everyone all the time. now its not.

  197.  #197Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm


    Thank you, but I really AM busy tonight. I could not even go into a discussion as to why he doesn’t call the same day when I return his call, etc. I will talk to him about this in person.

  198.  #198Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    Daria, I imagine you would feel tense reading that. I don’t feel the need to explain masculine energy, because I think most of us operate in it quite a bit…. but I was sharing that I’m looking forward to doing what I can to make the party special, and that I really do like entertaining. I like my personality… if it changes someday, I imagine I’ll like it even more!

  199.  #199Starla on March 7, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Do you ladies ever feel like this or know anything about this?

    I noticed that i feel nervous and exposed a lot of the time. It feels just lousy and tiring. like i am trying to trick the rest of the world into believing i am worthy and not just some piece of sh*t. sometimes i’ll go through phases of happy self esteem, and then NVs come in and tell me that i am delusional and everyone and their mom can see i aint worth much, and that i’m only making myself look worse by pretending it’s not true.

    it feels like tight breath, forgetting to breathe…heart racing….

    what causes this? I feel tired of this. I want to believe that this is not actually how i should feel and change it, even though my NVs say i must just be in denial of how much i truly suck.

  200.  #200Starla on March 7, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    also, now that my cycle is regular, my boobs shrank! wtf? they were really nice a couple of months ago.

  201.  #201Lena on March 7, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Hi, everybody…

    Thank you for all your hugs…

    I went all the way overboard last night… I scared him off…

    He told me that he still likes me but love is not smth he can give. That he wants us to be friends because he likes to talk to me, laugh with me, etc. Not to be sad. That maybe its all him and not to talk about it…

    It flashed me back to a year ago to my ex I really loved… He on some reason WROTE me after a year of silence yesterday in the middle of this whole mess asking how I am… I was shocked…

    I wrote to A that I am sorry about all… I cant be freinds with him because I like him… I asked him to think all about it and not to shut it all down like this. That I dont want to loose him like this… It was all just a mistake… Its my stupid mistake to always bring all fears to the table that he had no connection with… Thats what turned him off… I asked him to just forget about this Monday and continue with how it was… I am not asking him to love me… I want to love… And he is a good guy who wont really hurt me – he is too honest for that…

    I had a horrible night. I smoked two packs though I quit like long time ago… He didnt answer me anything and I feel so screwed… I really dont want to loose him and I want to fix it somehow…

  202.  #202Starla on March 7, 2012 at 5:53 pm


    ………..put down the cigarettes:)

  203.  #203Coco Kisses on March 7, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    I need some sound advice. My husband and I have been married for 2 years(almost 3 and together for 5).Our marriage was plauged from the very beginning with problems including verbal abuse and selfishness. He recently decided that he wanted to get separated because he couldnt handle
    our problems anymore. We were suffering from a sexless marriage( both in our 30’s), and just set in a boring routine of day-to day life. He moved in with a classmate of his last week, and now he’s calling. I’ve sepped WAY BACK, and started inplementing “THE TOOLs”. While he was moving his stuff out, I started redecoraing the house with new furniture, going out, being happy, taking pole dance classes, and going out with friends. I’ve moved o a place where I’m not focused on HIM. I have not called him ONCE since he moved out, and now he’s been calling me telling me he misses the “house”, our dogs, daughter, etc. (he never said he misses me outright though). Anyways he has invited me to call him, but I don’t, becasue I don’t really want to call him (for what??!!). Anyways he called me tonight after not speaking for 3 days, and he said that he feels depressed, sad, and scared that he may lose everything that is dear to him, he wanted to know where my head was at, since I haven’t been calling him. I told him that I’ve been moving forward with my life, and that I don’t call him because he wanted to be seperated,(because he didn’t feel that “spark”/atraction for me anymore, and his feelings had gone down to almost nothing for me), and that I respect that, and that I am giving him amd myself the space we need in order to see things clearly, and that I didn’t feel it best to speak to each other everyday. He said he feels like we are growing further and furher apart, and that worries him. He sounded like he wanted to cry. My question is, should I speak to him or should I continue to just let him feel the “pain” of his decison, while I’m building my fabulous new life w/o him (like my trip to the Bahamas!!). He thinks I may have someone else, but I told him I don’t, and that if I did, I’d just tell him. So bottom line should I cut off all communication with him until he decides what he wants, or should I speak to him when he calls?

  204.  #204Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    Starla, I think it’s natural to feel that way. We don’t go around in our daily lives sharing what goddesses we are and how wonderfully everything is going with our men. Sharing all that here, on a regular basis, or even how well we are handling it when it’s not… and all this self focus, self growth, self esteem.. it’s a lot to handle. It’s natural for those negative voices to pop up and tell us old stories.

    You are a lovely siren, we all see it, and no one expects you to be perfect. I hope you aren’t expecting that of yourself. Hugs!

  205.  #205Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    Omg he is texting that he ‘Misses me so much’. What do I do?? I can’t see him tomorrow either ๐Ÿ™

  206.  #206Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    Memulo, why don’t you give him a call? I’m not getting why this is a problem or an issue? You know he’s been sick, he’s been reaching out…. why are you hesitating to be in touch?

  207.  #207Rori Raye on March 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    Whoa, Coco – you ROCK!!! Totally up to you…if you want to give him a chance, talk to him when he calls. My guess is that the moment you let him back in – he’ll run away again. The way to do it would be to start dating him – WHILE you’re dating OTHER men – Circular Dating….and he clearly needs to do what he has to do to get his own head straight on before you’d let him near – because YOU’RE doing fabulously!! Love, Rori

  208.  #208Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    Turquoise, I don’t know, I was waiting the whole weekend for his call and gave him a wide time window – he didn’t call and didn’t let me know what’s going on. On Monday I called – got a return call on Tuesday, asking to call him soon.. I did – no response. I know he had the boy last night, but still.. Today he is alone, so misses me.. I don’t know. Everyone here was saying that I am ‘too available’ for him. it’s like when he wants me, he is really after me. But other days he just lets it slip. Maybe I am wrong and this is not his pattern.. but there were days when i thought that he just disappeared and then he would contact later lol

  209.  #209Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Hi girls!

    In the middle of date with ModelCD. He’s on the phone now so taking 2 minutes to say hi and that my vibe is super up! ๐Ÿ™‚


  210.  #210Starla on March 7, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    woohoo praise the universe, i have a working keyboard now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :):):):)

    now i am going to declutter and organize the files on my computer. i have no idea how to go about this, but i suppose i’ll start with deleting old files.

  211.  #211Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Hmmm… I got invited to a fraternity reunion party at the end of the month by a guy I dated in college. I haven’t seen him since 96! Holy crap. He has a girl friend…. and really, compared with the other women he’s dated, his ex wife, I’m not his type, so I believe it’s just a friendly invite. They all look overly made up, fake boobs, fake tan, too plucked, somewhat harsh features, but attractive women. It will be nice to see old friends though, so I am really looking forward to it! Geez… so many old stories and I have tons of pictures…lol, will be fun!!!

  212.  #212Starla on March 7, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    gosh i am feeling so anxious and weird and stressed….just going to keep sending love to me. fixing myself some hot cocoa for smiles but cutting it with plain hemp milk so i don’t go overboard on sugar intake.

  213.  #213Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    Ok, I did call just now and he didn’t pick up, so I left a nice VM saying that I hope he is having sweet dreams and wishing him good night.

    I miss him and hate games ;(

  214.  #214Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    Starla, what happened, you are our hero, I hope you know that ๐Ÿ˜‰ And I love your attitude, it always lifts my mood!

  215.  #215Starla on March 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    aww memulo that feels really sweet, i feel all blushy.

    nothing happened…i just feel like this sometimes.

  216.  #216Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    Starla, everyone does.. I tell myself to breath and look at the big picture. Sometimes it helps ๐Ÿ˜‰

  217.  #217Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    to breathe

  218.  #218Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Do I need to respond to his text also? If I left a VM? or it’s too much

  219.  #219Starla on March 7, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    when in doubt, lean back.

  220.  #220Memulo on March 7, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    Thank you Starla! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  221.  #221Turquoise on March 7, 2012 at 7:48 pm


    I’d encourage you to experiment with going with your first instincts. Mirror him, if he texts, text back, if he calls, and you feel like talking, call back. These little things don’t make or break a relationship, but questioning your every move, may drive you crazy!

  222.  #222Starla on March 7, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    Turquoise, I’ve actually been thinking a lot about mirroring lately but couldn’t find anything in Rori materials about it. Do you know where I can find it?

  223.  #223LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 8:00 pm


    Wow Coco!!! Thank you so much for sharing that!
    And Thank You Rori for answering!

    I’m kinda where you are Coco.
    We weren’t living together, but in a 2 and half years relationship.
    He had been ‘opening his door to other women to see if he could find better.’

    We broke up over a month ago.
    Now that my life is getting really interesting and fun to me, he wants me back.

    He tried the physical attraction way, I turned him down, saying to him that I wanted to connect through another way w men now and that I did not feel safe to trust him or myself.

    I’ve cdated 2 other men, and I am still cd’ing one now. So far these cdates have all helped me get to know myself and clarify what I want out of a man.

    I’m also staying open to new cd’ing options and opportunities.

    I’m seeing D only once a week for 2 hours at a time and talking on the phone once a week for 30 minutes max.

    I’ve kept to my boundaries of no physical contact aside from a hug and kiss on the cheek, and no seeing him at the last minutes notice.

    I go out practically every weekend.
    I go to zumba class, lunch dates, coffea w friends, spa night w a friend…I have 1 trip planned w a friend next month and another I’m considering in the fall.

    Life is amazing in an open field of possibilities.
    After the result I’ve seen tonight, I am keeping that field open and not letting him in until I feel ‘safe’ and I have the ‘relationship’ I want.

    Coco, Rori really knows what she’s talking about!

    Keep hanging around here, you’ll see women who do have success following Rori’s advice and teachings, and I am one of them.

    I get my sad days, but in all, I feel the amazing changes in my life for myself and I absolutely love it!

  224.  #224LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    I’ve been sharing w you sirens how I felt sad that my vacation trip w D and his sisters were cancelled, and my mom’s trip was all soldout.

    Well, geeeee, I got 2 offers to go next month….and a new one for fall!!! Whoohoooo!

    I had in the back of my mind that I was going on 2 trips this year!

    The new trip for the fall is another friend of mine invited me to go on a cruize with her. I’ve never been on a cruiiiizzze!!!
    I kept saying to everyone that I felt like going on an adventure to somewhere I had never been before. These people paid attention and they are inviting me!

    I feel so good…and wanted! OMG the little unimportant rejected girl in me is healing!
    I’m feeling her less and less.

    Not only am I being invited on my 2 trips this year, I’m all booked for the next 2 weekends!
    I didn’t have to do a thing except to accept invitations coming in!

    I’ve never felt so wanted in my entire life!
    More and more people are showing me that they want to be with me!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  225.  #225Butterfly wings on March 7, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    Woohoo I finally caught up! ๐Ÿ˜€

  226.  #226Starla on March 7, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    i feel weird about mirroring. i don’t want to be the 50% male mirror. i want to be all girl.

    though, it feels good to know that i can mirror and know it’s not leaning forward…it’s just neutral space , plus i can gauge if something is leaning forward if it seems beyond mirroring.

  227.  #227Coco Kisses on March 7, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    Thank you Rori…I luv u back, and am thankful to God I found your site, I was doing another marriage program to save my mrriage but deep down it felt like bad advice. I realize now that I was seriously over functioning in my marriage trying to “prove” that I was a good responsible wife. Do you know it got to the point where my husband wanted us to take turns paying when it was time to out to eat. At this point I need to learn how to set boundaries and also how to communicate my wants and desires in a feminine way. Which of your programs will help? Again thanks for replying to my post ๐Ÿ™‚

  228.  #228Brenda on March 7, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    A long but happy day out for me with my Mom and then church with no Ryan. I’m free. Feels good to be home. Now I’m going to bed with a movie.

    Tomorrow it’s going to be 70 degrees F! I’m going out with a friend I haven’t seen in about 15 years!

    Coco Kisses, wow, your post about how you handled your husband is amazing! Which of Rori’s programs do you have so far? My guess would be Love Scripts for how to communicate your wants and desires in a feminine way, altho a lot of them would help. Maybe Reconnect Your Relationship?

    That is so cool about going to the Bahamas! How long have you been learning from Rori?

  229.  #229LiliBee on March 7, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    Lizka, we were questioning me and you wether it was a good idea for me to have D around…
    Well it is!

    Except I’ve been restricting his access to me, standing for my boundaries:
    – no last minute visits or dates.
    – only 1 visit per week for 2 hours max.
    – only 1 phone talk per week for 30 minutes max.
    – no physical intimacy, only hug and kiss on the cheek allowed.
    – when he asked for primetime weekends like Friday night or Saturday night…I was already booked!

    He came over tonight and tried the usual:
    Physical attraction and intimacy and I held to my boundary.
    He wanted to see me tomorrow night, but I have zumba then maybe coffea w my friend.

    He’s leaving on his vacation trip w his sisters Friday morning for a whole week.

    Sirens! I finally was successful in delivering true honest, authentic, real FMs!!!
    It feels fantastic!!! I was so stuck with FMs for so long, and tonight they finally all spilled out of me effortlessly…no anger! and no fear!
    I’m familiar with my feelings now! so they don’t scare me!
    I felt so flowy.
    As soon as I rose my voice just slightly wanting to be heard, he told me softly.
    That’s the 1st ever vibe that I got from him that attracted me, his gentle softness. His gentle softness shines through no matter what the circumstance.
    So I relowered my voice immediately and told the feeling that made me raise it. “I feel unheard and unacknowledged, and that makes me feel frustrated.”
    He tried the bs excuses w the past, and I just responded with FMs: “I felt discarded like a garbage bag at the curb, and I don’t ever want to accept feeling like that, it felt so awful.”
    On and on I went with FMs flowing out of me…”I didn’t feel safe, and I feel even less safe now after what happened.” – note ‘what happened’ replaced ‘what you did’.



    But it doesn’t mean I’m taking him back. I’ll cd him, along with the other stable cd I have now, and I’m keeping my options open for new potential CDs.
    Like Rori said to Coco: He’s not coming back in any further until he shows he’s dead serious and I feel safe.

    If that ever happens, he will have worked so hard, and been so patient at winning me, that he will HONOUR ME, CHERISH ME AND BE TRUSTWORTHY.

    He put alot of pressure on me before he left, saying that he may get tired and give up like what happened before.
    I responded “I’m learning to connect w myself for the very 1st time in my life and I am starting to feel really warm and cozy that way. I want to keep connecting to myself and strenthen that bond with myself. That’s how I will be able to do it with someone else. I am determined to have the real thing and I feel confident that I will.”

    He asked if there was anyone else. I said “I’m allowing men to get close to me and getting comfortable in their presence. There is no one special so far, but I am keeping my options open until I find the one that I will truly feel loved and connected with.”

    He said he didn’t want to leave, but respected me bc he really loves the changes in me.
    He gave me a long warm hug, I hugged him back and said “I really appreciated your open honesty tonight”
    He said “That’s what was missing, we needed to learn to talk like that.”

    That felt so good to hear ๐Ÿ™‚
    But I’m not counting my chickens before the eggs have hatched!

    After what I’ve experienced tonight, I’m following Rori’s advice to the end!

  230.  #230Lena on March 7, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    I decided to stop feeling bad. A didnt answer me and I guess this is the last I heard from him. But I am tired to be depressed. I wont be deleting him from anywhere nor showing any other side of me. I decided not to care what he will do about it.

    Its the lesson for me here – to stop being so negative and take everything much lighter. And if I like someone – just to give it without all the tests and questioning. Its not my past that ruined it but the way I let it ruin me. There is no need to drag the fears into the present, where things happen.

    Its his loss. He told me yday he didnt like me in bed.. Not in direct form but I understood it. What did he expect from a drunk woman that wasnt ready? This is so wrong – he has no idea what he missed with me. How many things that he was looking for were right infront of him. I know I am a passionate lover and good gf and will make an excellent wife. I dont want all this drama for myself and I will ask for the Universe to give me a good, warm, loving, rich husband)))

    I dont regret I wrote him so much – it was all sincere what I felt. I reacted how I could and I didnt really did anything wrong to him. He told me he never met anyone like me and this is where I will settle. Even with all the baggage I was able to make him happy and be happy myself for a moment. I did all I could to make him understand. I didnt lie nor hide anything. I just should take things much easier and take much better care of myself and my kid. Its not worth of beating myself up for, nor chase him and explain any further. I dont want to be with people who doesnt want me. I am a Panther – a sexy, warm, smart lady and anyone would be happy with me.

  231.  #231Lizka on March 7, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    So many things to tell you about my date but it’s so late here And I need at least 6 hours of sleep… Will tell you more in the morning…

    For now all I can say is I wish I will never get to think about ATW and could focus more on men who treats me good like the men (yeah, MEN! not Man!!!) I spent my night with and feel treaten lile a princess.


    Princess Lizka

  232.  #232mali on March 7, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Okay, I need advice.

    Remember J? The guy who I really liked? Well, I went out dancing tonight, and he was there. My friend told him I was there and apparently he became pretty excited… he found me, and started dancing pretty close to me, and then… kissed me. And we carried on kissing and dancing. He was drunk, he said so himself.

    My respect for him has decreased though… he asked me if he could show me his accommodation (take me back to his place), in his words, without being as crude as possible. And I told him that I didn’t want t sleep with anyone… He said he’d sleep on the floor; and I still refused…

    So he left after a while, and told me “he might see me around”.

    The thing is, I can’t get myself out of the judging him mindset and trying to know what he’s thinking, and judging me!!

    BLEURGH… Part of me is still shocked.

  233.  #233Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 3:46 am

    Are you kidding? Only one comment since I went to bed? Sh*t that must mean I really didn’t sleep enough… Ahhh this day is gonna be long!! But at least I’ll be smiling!

  234.  #234Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 3:50 am

    Lol Mali I had the same situation with a CD like a month ago. He came at my place for dinner amd we are having great time and he start being tipsy a little and asks me to sleep on the couch and I said no, I didn’t want to have him in my things the next morning! He insisted and than got offended lile a little diva and he left. I felt really turned off but was ready to give him another chance but the next time he contacted me he acted weird again makin none funny jokes so I stopped answering and he got mad at me because I didn’t answered. Never heard of him since then…

  235.  #235Turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 3:54 am

    Good morning sirens. I’m still tired, wish I could go back to bed. Lizka, I can’t wait to hear about your date!!!!

    Coco, welcome to the blog. Wow, you’ve made big changes in a week!

    Brenda, glad you got to spend some time with your mom, I bet she was happy.

  236.  #236Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 4:14 am

    Good morning Turquoise! So tired too here. And plus I feel sick and nauseous… Joy!

    Im in a rush, will writwme the story in a few minutes in the bus! Stay tuned! Haha!!

  237.  #237Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 4:19 am


    Thank you so much for your advice. I feel like something is a bit off today, wonder if it was too cold of me to just wish him sweet dreams and a good night in my VM (though my voice must have been really warm, this is how I felt). Just I feel afraid that if I say I miss him he may start asking me out for tonight and I have stuff to take care of, and wouldn’t want such a last minute plan.

    I know I’m thinking too much but we haven’t talked in a week (!) with all these VM’s back and forth and I didn’t have a chance to express this and now it feels like I am building walls.. hate this feeling.

  238.  #238Daria on March 8, 2012 at 4:21 am

    im feelking overwhelm from the dating

    i can solve this by leaning back

    i wana lean back FARRRR

    i feel like im swept away in leaning forward and bouncing to leaning far back and feeling closed off and distant

  239.  #239Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 4:22 am


    You sound wonderful! Even though a bit hungover ๐Ÿ˜‰

  240.  #240Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 4:24 am


    When did leaning back become closed off and distant LOLLLLLL

  241.  #241Daria on March 8, 2012 at 4:25 am

    Memulo are you serious? read what you wrote ” wonder if it was too cold of me to just wish him sweet dreams and a good night in my VM”

    does that even make sense to you? its cold to wish him all this stuff? its like leaning forward a bit but def not cold… cold would be not wishing him anything (as would leaning back) AND being closed off when he contacts you…

    i get that you didnt say you missed him, i just want to point out how much your NV’s are talking here

  242.  #242Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 4:28 am


    yes, thank you. I did say in return that I missed him in our earlier conversation last night though.. and promised to call back.. later got his text that he misses me so much and when I got off the dinner table with my parents I did call him.

    I don’t know, it feels like I was coldish.

  243.  #243Turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 4:29 am


    Maybe next time, don’t leave him a message. Are you calling a cell phone? He’ll see the missed call. Let him wonder what he’s missing. Plus your messages, aren’t leaving an opening for him to respond to. When you do leave a message. Just say, Hi XXXXX, sorry I missed your call. Feels like phone tag (said in a smiley voice). I look forward to talking with you soon. The sweet dreams, etc. aren’t necessary. That to me sounds like, the end of a conversation, not a hope you call me back. You are really worrying too much. Instead of worrying that you’d have to turn him down, just think how good it would feel to say, Oh I’m sorry I can’t see you tonight, but am open x,y and z.

  244.  #244Turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 4:32 am

    Memulo, a tip, so you can’t possibly feel cold. Smile while you talk to him. Smile while you leave a message, smile while you text. It comes through in your tone. (at least with the voice, texting can still get misread).

  245.  #245Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 4:36 am

    Thank you Turquoise, yes, I did smile! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    it’s interesting, I feel comfortable not saying ‘hope to talk to you soon’ or ‘please call me back’ or asking a question, etc. More comfortable wishing him a good night.. like if he wants me he knows where to find me. Does it make sense? Sounds like it feels different to you, hmm..

  246.  #246Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 4:38 am

    Maybe I can text him today to tell him about a cute gift that my mom brought me.. and ask how he is feeling?

  247.  #247Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 4:44 am

    Oh I forgot!!


  248.  #248LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 4:44 am

    Morning sirens:


    # 67

    Yes, I feel guilty because my dating other people seems to really frustrate CD assertive. Thing came to a head last night because he asked me if I was “for real” with him and I said, yes, and then said I feel insulted by that question and it makes me feel bad. He apologized and we hung up, but I could not sleep because all I could think is I don’t want to feel like this. And if I stopped dating him then I would not have to feel this way. I sent him an email last night telling him how I feel.

    Today I am contemplating not dating him anymore. I think FW was on to something when she asked if I feel guilty. I’m tired of feeling guilty. I enjoy hanging out with him and I really do like him but this CD is taking too much emotional effort. I apparently can’t give him what he wants at this time, which is to be in love with him, and because of that, maybe I am not real. Yes, it seems that he is stepping up, but there are other women in the background, who he texts and facebook. He says they are the people who won’t go away, but my point is that he is entertaining them by responding. So I don’t really believe he is fully in love with me because he still has an element of a player in him. I shared these feelings with him. I feel safe CDing with him, but not to be in a relationship with him. There appears to be too much turmoil for me in this dating situation. He is used to dominating women and this siren CANNOT be dominated.

    Even though we are scheduled to go away this weekend, I’m going to think about stop dating CD assertive today, seriously.

  249.  #249Aurora Girl on March 8, 2012 at 4:56 am

    @120 Calypso

    did you get an answer to your question above?

    I just can imagine how confusing it must feel to be caught in that situation……it really will help you move ahead with what you really want…

    If you circular date and keep those guidelines up front….and know in your heart what would move someone up to being exclusive…and then be open with each of them…..”my happily ever after involves…..” and “I feel……”…..then you stay true to yourself without getting hung up on how each man feels….letting him sort that out for himself knowing where you stand……..and then one of them will step up to the plate……

    they put forth who they are…you choose how you want each of them to be in your life……or how the next guy fits…. and then next one…..eventually one of them will fill your bill….

    hope this helps…

  250.  #250Aurora Girl on March 8, 2012 at 4:58 am

    Hope all sirens are doing well….


  251.  #251Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 4:59 am


    Last night I learned something. I learned to stop overanalyzing everything a man says during a date. For example, ModelCD said “I am not looking for a wife”. In the past I would have be all oh no, he just wants to sleep with me or he doesn’t want to make ME his wife so he’s trying to manage my expectation or whatever. I know, I was crazy back then. Lol. Yesterday, instea of being in my head in situations like that, I focused being on my body. And it worked! I got to not be in a dissapointed mood and the vibe stayed high. Pretty cool heh? Plus seriously, mayne he is not LOOKING for a wife, but it doesn’t mean he’s not gonna want to get married to the girl of his dreams.

    Love me for learning!

  252.  #252Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 5:00 am


    Last night I learned something. I learned to stop overanalyzing everything a man says during a date. For example, ModelCD said “I am not looking for a wife”. In the past I would have be all oh no, he just wants to sleep with me or he doesn’t want to make ME his wife so he’s trying to manage my expectation or whatever. I know, I was crazy back then. Lol. Yesterday, instea of being in my head in situations like that, I focused being on my body. And it worked! I got to not be in a dissapointed mood and the vibe stayed high. Pretty cool heh? Plus seriously, mayne he is not LOOKING for a wife, but it doesn’t mean he’s not gonna want to get married to the girl of his dreams.

    Love me for learning!

  253.  #253Coco Kisses on March 8, 2012 at 5:01 am

    @ Brenda and LiliBee I started Rori’s programs about 2 months ago in an effort to save my marriage. A few years back I read Why Men Marry bic*** by Sherry Argov so that put me in a certain type of mind set about not being overly nice to men and how to get a commitment by not chasing a man, however when I got married, it proved difficult for me to keep my husband chasing me, now, like I stated before he decided to move out for space/he fell out of love,and doesn’t want to do counseling. With Rori’s tools I’ve been focusing on what makes me happy and the areas of my life I need to improve for me. Right now I have the e-book, recconect your relationship, and modern day siren. I love my husband, but that’s not what this is about any more. It has become a quest for me to win at this thing called love, and have a man that treats me like a Queen. We shall see if my husbands got what it takes to win my heart back, should he decide to…in the mean time I’m DOING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  254.  #254Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 5:26 am

    LoveAlways some of that felt controlling all up in his business and wanting to punish him

  255.  #255T-Girl on March 8, 2012 at 5:29 am

    Coco Kisses, you have such a great attitude! I admire that very much.

  256.  #256Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 5:46 am

    Good morning Sirens ๐Ÿ™‚

    Welcome Coco Kisses… i like your name ๐Ÿ™‚

    Lizka..yay …it feels freeing to not to over analyze some things a man says…that feels great to read.

    Sensual…that is exciting, I’m glad shyCD contacted you…let us know how dinner went!!

  257.  #257Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 5:48 am

    Lilibee almost everytime I read your comments I feel inspired to go deep inside me to really feel my body. So after reading this morning I decided to check in with myself. I noticed that I kept getting twiches above my eyes and a numbness around my mouth and nose. As I continued checking in with myself and thinking all kinds of negative things and telling myself that I don’t want to believe anything negative I got a sense that my body needed water. I was driving and was eating some pistachios with sea salt on them so I figured my body was reacting to the salt by kind of pinching up itself. In any event I was just able to get some water and while I was getting it my mind was telling me to also get some in a cup and drink it now. I finally relented after getting an internal number at least three times. When I put the water to my mouth I realized I was kind of saying “here” to myself with resentment in my energy as if I was upset because I was being obligated to give myself water and take care of myself. I noticed that and how sad the little girl inside me felt as if she was bothering someone to give her what she needs. I felt compassion towards myself with ths realization and was able to soften and then offer the water with love to myself. I then drank some more and was able to consciously do it in a loving way as if nourishing and taking care of my body, my health while at the same time loving the taste of the water that I have always thought was boring to the point of not drinking any for years during my younger years. I truly see now how in little and subtle ways I somehow feel unworthy to even be.

  258.  #258Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 5:48 am

    Lilibee @229…wow…you sound so good ๐Ÿ™‚

  259.  #259Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 5:52 am

    Femininewoman…it feels inspiring how “here” you are when you are here. You don’t just skim posts. You read them all and really “hear” them. wow. ๐Ÿ™‚

  260.  #260Iamabutterfly on March 8, 2012 at 5:52 am

    I just need to write about this, so I can stop doing it, and keep growing.

    Last night, I unexpectedly ran into seenmecryCD, and I nearly had a panic attack.

    This felt surprising, since most of the time I feel VERY comfortable around him. I’ve noticed I don’t do well “running into” CDs.

    The same thing happened with Jack CD, when I kept unexpectedly running into him, I would have these little panic attacks, and they would get worse and worse until I could literally watch him losing interest.

    Now, usually I don’t start having these mini panic attacks until the 9th month (right on schedule with Jack CD.)

    But with SeenmecryCD? Barely two months! That feels way too soon!

    At least it feels easier noticing my patterns this time. I’ve been feeling tense, but I love all of me, relationship anxiety included, so everything is going to be okay. I will feel my panic, sink into it, and open my heart.

    This feels so scary! My initial reaction is to feel annoyed at myself for this irrational panic, but I’m going to choose to feel compassion towards myself.

    I’ve been hurt. I feel fear of men because of this hurt. It is okay. I don’t have to be afraid. Men will treat me well, as long as I treat myself well.

    I will treat myself well!

  261.  #261Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 5:56 am

    Brenda…I feel jealous of your 70 degree weather! ๐Ÿ™‚ I am ready for summer ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad you were able to spend time with your mom and you felt free..wahoo ๐Ÿ™‚

  262.  #262Iamabutterfly on March 8, 2012 at 5:57 am

    Today, I am thankful for SeenmecryCD and how happy he seemed to run into me last night.

    I am thankful for Lavender scented lotion.

    I am thankful for getting my morning work done early.

    I am thankful for my bravery last night, even though a huge part of me felt terrified.

    I am thankful for waking up an hour before my alarm, and for the time I took to clean my bathroom sink, and put laundry away.

    I’m REALLY thankful for SeenmecryCD. He is very nice to me, and although I don’t feel that “chemical” feeling, that roller-coaster feeling, I still feel attracted. He feels so different from other guys. It feels nice and safe and curious.

    Today, I am thankful for the courage that I WILL keep practing! Opening my heart, sharing my feelings, accepting my feelings, feeling my feelings, and everything IS going to be okay!

  263.  #263Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 6:01 am

    RE 120 Hi Calypso. First of all I don’t think it is killing you, that is just a story you are telling yourself because you are feeling very curious. Feeling curious is normal and human. Being in your head and pretending that nothing is bothering you at dinner last night could eventually push him away because he won’t be able to connect with your feelings. I believe you could share that you are in a place now where you are looking at your life and looking for ways to live your dreams. Really go inside yourself and feel what you are feeling and see if you could put words to it. I would meet up with GM. Though you don’t know what he is thinking when you are with him you can notice how you feel. It could be that helps you to realize that it is SL you really want to be with. I remember the movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman where her husband treated her badly and threw her out of the house. The driver of the truck that helped her fell in love with her and wanted to marry her. She however, had to go back to the husband to help him through therapy as well as face herself. During that period with him she became totally clear that she wanted the divorce from her husband so she could fully love, marry and be with the other guy who made her totally happy. Sometimes we have to be sure of what we don’t want to really know what we do want.

  264.  #264Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 6:03 am

    Thanks Jilly. I have been missing your flowery feeling comments. I guess Rugbyman is consuming most of your free time?

  265.  #265Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 6:08 am

    I want to share some things Rugby Man and I talked about yesterday ๐Ÿ™‚

    We were talking about something? and he said well since we are on the subject…how do you feel things are going between us?

    ME: I feel really connected to you (I felt nervous being so vulnerable “on the spot” and that morning I had just watched the part in modern siren when Rori says the man feels safe when we hold the space to feel emotions so I just relaxed and expressed how I really felt) I feel good and things just really seem to flow and there hasn’t been anything to worry about or feel bad about. I feel really good about everything. I feel happy.
    What do you think?

    HIM: Me too, this is the best it’s ever felt for me. Normally by this time there is so much drama if I have to leave for work. You seem so emotionally stable and I’ve never seen that before, you really are throwing me for a loop. And I am so receptive to you. Way more than anyone else. I think there is something really special there, something worth something.

    awww…Rugby man…I feel smiley and melty ๐Ÿ™‚

    He doesn’t know what just swirled into his world ๐Ÿ˜‰

  266.  #266Sassy on March 8, 2012 at 6:14 am

    SHE’S HERE!!! The latest beautiful siren joined us March 7, 2012!
    Weighing in at 7 lbs, 7 ozs and 19 inches long, with some black hair and gorgeous healthy coloring. Mama, daddy and baby are doing wonderfully and gramma (me) got some much needed sleep last nite!!!

    Hope all is well on the islands.
    Much love

  267.  #267Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 6:19 am

    Sassy!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!! She sounds sooo adorable ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

  268.  #268Mel on March 8, 2012 at 6:21 am


    I feel curious how it would feel to only focus on YOU when responding to texts.

    One of my favorite feeling messages when I receive a “how’s your day going?” text is to tell him how it felt to have the warm sun shining on my face and breathe in the fresh spring air. Or to tell him how seeing the beautiful sunrise this morning made me feel all warm and cozy. Or to tell him how it felt great to get some things done around the house and now I feel all organized and relaxed and how the ‘clean house smell’ makes me feel happy.

    Anyway… my point is that it’s not about him. Share something nice about your day, or if it’s a crummy day, share how you’re feeling too. Be descriptive and have fun with it. ๐Ÿ™‚ You don’t need to chase him sweet siren!

  269.  #269Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 6:24 am

    Thanks Femininewoman ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’ve been focusing on my business and school ๐Ÿ™‚ and it feels good. It feels so synchronistic…me getting MY life lined up exactly how I want it…and IN walks Rugby Man out of the blue.

    I have been online dating for a long time and then randomly we are introduced by friends and it feels amazing. I don’t know how else to describe this feeling I have. I have my eyes wide open and I’m just enjoying all these happy fairy tale feelings and going with it.

    And still being “the girl”, and leaning back and letting him do ALL the rowing, no suggesting or initiating or giving…AND I don’t feel ANY need to row, lean forward or initiate ๐Ÿ™‚ YAY

  270.  #270Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 6:25 am

    Sassy!! Awwww…she sounds amazing…congrats!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  271.  #271Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 6:26 am

    Shar Lean Way Back…Congrats on your engagement!!! That feels exciting!! ๐Ÿ™‚ YAY!!

  272.  #272Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 6:29 am

    oohhh I am am sucker for babies. I just love them. Congrats Sassy.

  273.  #273Mochaberri on March 8, 2012 at 6:33 am

    Morning Sirens!!!

    I feel truly energized and inspired to read Coco Kisses and Lilibee’s story!!! I too have a similar story and it’s really amazing how Rori’s tools work!!! Not to mention Christian Carter and a few others. Leaning back is definitely the best tool ever!!!!

  274.  #274Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 6:34 am

    Mochaberri…yes I totally agree! ๐Ÿ™‚

  275.  #275Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 6:37 am

    So after Rugby Man and I talked..I do find myself wanting to ask questions…like…

    What do you mean more receptive?
    What do you mean more drama?

    Except I already KNOW. I already know exactly what he is talking about LOL

  276.  #276Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 6:51 am


    Thank you.. I am not chasing him literally, but something feels off after last night.. He was telling me he is sick and I was saying sorry, I need to go, will call you later. Then this text: ‘Miss you so much’ and I only called 1.5 hours later and got his voicemail. Like we haven’t been communication the whole week.. I feel a disconnect ๐Ÿ™

  277.  #277Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 6:54 am

    Suppose I can call during lunch and say that it felt so good to hear his voice last night..

  278.  #278Mel on March 8, 2012 at 6:59 am


    I would wait until he contacts me again… but in the meantime, do something fun for myself. And if i was still feeling off when he got in touch, I’d say something like:

    Wow… it feels like we have been a bit disconnected this week, and that feels like there’s a big rushing river between us. It’s beautiful and relaxing to watch the flowing water, but I see you on the other side and I don’t have the energy to swim over. It feels so good to connect with you again…

  279.  #279LiliBee on March 8, 2012 at 7:12 am


    Awww FW,

    Don’t you feel like you are falling in love with yourself. ๐Ÿ™‚

    That is a beautiful feeling that no one else can give us…self love, and that makes me feel OK that I don’t need to demand it from someone else.
    I don’t feel as tense as before, I feel more relaxed and at peace.
    I am able to share my feelings with love and peace coz I have nothing to prove, I just am, and I love who I am.
    I feel worthy of love and compassion even from myself.
    I truly believe that once we have that self love, others will just be compelled to join in, we won’t have to convince them and prove to them.

  280.  #280Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:14 am


    Thank you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, I feel that I was building a wall and I feel scared it will backfire.. and no idea how to get out of this.

  281.  #281Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 7:28 am

    Lilibee @279…that feels beautiful….

    I completely agree and can feel your vibe radiating ๐Ÿ™‚


    it’s good that you’re noticing these feelings…sink into them, even curl up on the floor and let yourself feel all those feelings…THEN for something to DO…you can picture him flowing love toward you, giving to you…and you can practice receiving in your mind and body…

  282.  #282Mel on March 8, 2012 at 7:30 am


    it just feels weird to lean back sometimes… especially if you’re used to overfunctioning. At least that’s how it is for me.

  283.  #283Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:40 am

    Jilly, Mel,

    Thank you girls.. What I am really scared of.. you know how love doesn’t forgive limits.. maybe I am not saying it right, but when you really have strong feelings for someone and they are not fulfilled (or even accepted) at the moment you want to give them, you loose some of them. I feel scared that this is how he may experience it.

  284.  #284Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:44 am

    I don’t think I am used to overfunctioning. People complain that I say too little.. once I was crazy about someone and he left me saying I was building walls.. just after one evening of me feeling a little shy with him. I know he had his own problems but it somehow stuck with me. I didn’t even tell my guy last night that my parents were coming, I was running around getting ready for them, just said several times that I am really sorry, but I am busy and I really, really have to go.

  285.  #285Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:51 am

    Maybe I can text him back: felt so good to hear your voice last night

  286.  #286Mel on March 8, 2012 at 7:53 am


    Only if you don’t care if he responds….

  287.  #287Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:58 am

    or: I miss you too, felt so nice to hear your voice last night

  288.  #288Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 8:12 am

    One result I achieved with this craziness is to effectively shut up the blog LOL

  289.  #289Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 8:23 am

    awww…(((memulo))) I check back every so often ๐Ÿ™‚ but I’m working so I don’t usually say to much otherwise I will get distracted ๐Ÿ™‚

    If it would truly make you feel better to text him then I say go ahead…

    and don’t beat yourself up for it…

    just start noticing all the feelings you have before you text him and then after

  290.  #290Mochaberri on March 8, 2012 at 8:26 am

    Mel @ 282 – I agree leaning back was difficult for me at first but the more I did it the better I got at leaning back and every time I do lean back KR comes forward. Recently I’ve been upping my degree of difficulty and when we talked yesterday he actually said ” you don’t call and I don’t know what to do”.

    To back track – I spoke with him on Thursday of last week – a whole week went by without us talking. The 1st call I did answer – if you remember last week I was debating on whether or not to take the 1st call or not. Anyway, I did answer and I accidentally hung up on him. He called back and I told him that I was leaving out and couldn’t talk; he said “oh you can’t talk while walking?” I just repeated that I will have to call you back. He said ok and hung up. After getting home and settling myself I called him back – no answer – so I sent a text saying that I was sorry for hanging up on him I had a couple of bags in my hand and could not manage holding the phone. He called back a few minutes later and said I guess your not busy anymore. I said that is correct I am home getting comfortable after a long day. He said that he was calling to see if I wanted to go out for a drink but he got lazy. He also mentioned twice that I don’t call and that I can call him too. The first time was when he apologized for not reaching out sooner I can’t remember what prompted him to say it the second time Since I was still feeling hurt by his outburst the last time I did call, I didn’t answer him because I didn’t want to say anything that came across as blamey or criticizing. So he then said “oh I guess it’s up to me to do the calling, I’ll make sure I call more often. My response was ” to tell you the truth yes it is all up to you.

    Fast foward – he has called every day since. I leaned forward on Sunday and called him. I said” I wasn’t completely honest with you when we talked on Thursday and I don’t want to be that way with you stuff down my feelings or act weird during conversations when we’re together. You’re right it should be Ok for me to call you sometimes and I want to. My feelings were hurt by the things you said the last couple of times I did call.” He asked me what he said – which I know he knows. I continued, ” you went off and I feel it was unnecessary. I understand you were at work and it was at lunchtime but I didn’t know that you were out to lunch with your boss. So I feel uneasy reaching out to you.” He apologized and admitted that he overreacting because how would I have known that he was out with his boss and that I do not need to feel uneasy or weird about reaching out to him. I responded with, “that feels good to hear.” We chatted about him being in the grocery store. He asked me what I was doing and I told him that I was waiting for my Dad so we could go to dinner to celebrate his birthday which I used as my way of ending the conversation. He asked me when we were leaving and where we were going, I resonded with Wow…ummm in about 15 mins and to Red Lobster. He said ” did you say Wow? I guess I can’t ask anymore questions. I responded by saying that yes I did say Wow and it was just a triggering moment (he gets very irritated when I ask him more than 3 questions) but of course you can ask. He stated that he would have went if I had not called him 15 minutes before I was leaving. I let him know that I it would have felt really good to have him join us and that I had tried to call his home number first but wasn’t sure if he had gotten of work yet.

  291.  #291Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 8:30 am

    It feels great and amazing how much Rori’s way works…it creates so much self love and self awareness in baby steps…

    I feel twirly…like I keep going up and up this spiral of juicy exciting scary lovely feelings ๐Ÿ™‚

  292.  #292Starla on March 8, 2012 at 8:56 am

    The universe (and my hard work) brings me great abundance! I have been working hard to raise my credit score, and my credit card company just increased my limit by a thousand dollars and the interest rate is 0% for another year! I feel so free knowing that if there were a major emergency, I could use this credit card.
    Thank you, me! Thank you, universe!

  293.  #293Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 9:00 am

    Just received some beautiful bright pink roses from the boys in the office in recognition of International Women’s Day. Just the sight of them had my pelvis area opening up and feeling the beauty of the pink. It feels lovely to be female.

  294.  #294Starla on March 8, 2012 at 9:05 am

    aw that is sweet fw. i feel envious

  295.  #295turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Hi Sirens,

    Congratulations Sassy! Wow how wonderful, a new baby girl!!!

    Shar-leanwayback… congratulations on your engagement, that is such special news and inspiring to hear on the blog. Keep us posted on wedding details.

    Sirens, I don’t know why….lol, but this thought just popped into my head, that when my ex is around this weekend, if he walks into a room, I want to walk out. I mean at the party and with other people there… not when we are working together to try and get stuff done. My normal behavior around him, it’s like a magnet, I want to be where he is. Now, I want the opposite. I want to do my own thing. So I am going to experiment. I wonder if I start walking out or away, or being busy with the kids, food, etc. if he’ll notice and be drawn to come to me. I think our magnets work both ways, as he has been calling and talking a lot more, saying he hopes I have a nice day, etc. talk to me soon… and I have only called in response to his missed calls and texts. I did lean forward last night to tell him some food I plan to make for the party based on an earlier conversation. He didn’t reply, but I wasn’t expecting him to.

    I feel curious to be so into my body and thoughts, that I want to try doing the exact opposite of what is habit, and my natural reaction. Just to see what happens. What do you think?

  296.  #296siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:18 am

    well, i had to let my favourite cd go last night (we’ve been on and off for a long time) because he wasn’t ok with me dating other guys and although he says he wants to marry me, he won’t settle on a date or buy a ring.

    he’s been talking about me moving in with him, but i said i want to be engaged first. he said he needs to know ‘he’s number one’ to marry me. i said if i am open to marrying him and am in fact wanting that, he’s obviously the man i want to be with, but i don’t want to close myself down to other men until i have what i want. i said it feels draining to wait. he was really upset and then he was really rude and said i was a ‘bad person’ for wasting his time.

    it was a very rough conversation and i feel really sad. i feel scared that i will never get to where i want to go and that i will never find a man i am so attracted to.

    but i also feel pretty good for staying on my bridge.

  297.  #297Calypso on March 8, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Thanks for the encouragement and advice.

    I went to see GM last night. He told me everything he learned in therapy about why he got scared when we were together. He told me he loves me, which I have known for a long time, but it was nice and really sad to finally hear it. He is still so damaged and he will not step up and give me what I need in order to feel safe and loved. He invited me to stay with him since it was a long drive home for me, but I stayed strong and came home. We both cried. My heart longs to be with him, but I know it is not going to work out.

    SL called me this morning. I want to give us a chance. He tries soooo hard to make me happy. I hope I can let him. I kind of hope he does not want to get together tonight – I’m still feeling so raw – my eyes are swollen this morning and I feel sad – he will notice it immediately. I don’t want to talk to him about GM. My birthday is this Monday – I think I will just lean back and let SL spoil me. I know I have done and said all I can with GM – I don’t have any regrets on my end. I opened my heart and soul to him and he could not handle it because he hates the man he sees when he looks in the mirror. ๐Ÿ™

  298.  #298LiliBee on March 8, 2012 at 9:21 am


    Thank You for the encouragement Jilly, it feels good ๐Ÿ™‚

  299.  #299turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Where are you Silver Tounged Siren????

  300.  #300siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:23 am

    yay shar!!

  301.  #301turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Hi Lillibee!!!! Hugs! I really relate to your situation, and you are inspiring me to keep looking forward. Thank you!

    Lizka, I want to hear about the two men! ๐Ÿ™‚ Living vicariously though you girlie! ๐Ÿ™‚

    FW, how sweet and wonderful about your roses. I’m very happy for you.

  302.  #302Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 9:27 am


    ” Living vicariously though you girlie!”

    Wow this feels nice to read! Thank you! The details are coming. Been so busy all morning!

  303.  #303Starla on March 8, 2012 at 9:27 am

    siren song, hugs to you…i feel proud of you for not getting off your horse or your bridge. I bet he’ll be back too.

  304.  #304siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:30 am

    thanks starla. this is the first time i’ve ever been able to say ‘no’ to a man i really love and actually walk away from him completely without being angry (and to turn away energetically and be ok with that).

    it feels weird! but good.

    i’m playing a show tonight and going to a big music industry festival next week, so i have lots to focus on and many many new people to meet! ๐Ÿ™‚

  305.  #305lk on March 8, 2012 at 9:33 am

    i don’t know how to buy a car. does anyone have any advice ?

  306.  #306siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:34 am

    (catching up)

    congrats, sassy!

    congrats, FW!

  307.  #307Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 9:35 am


    It feels like a wonderful idea to me. This is exactly what Rori was talking about in her emails and I think Modern Siren as well?

    Not as an angry avoiding him, but as you said, doing your own thing.

  308.  #308Starla on March 8, 2012 at 9:39 am

    lk, yes, i used to be a car salesperson. so i have loads of advice. but when it comes to buying my own cheap used car, i feel stumped since i’ve no major mechanical knowledge. but i’m happy to help you if you’re looking for something you can actually finance (as opposed to a 1200 dollar beater) lol.

  309.  #309Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 9:50 am

    Turquoise it would be great if you could do that. The only concern I have is if any kind of pretending will be in your vibe. I would encourage you to set some kind of intention around it – what you want in your life and the kind of man you want to be around. Or an intention/commitment to check in with yourself to see how you feel each time you walk away from him, and to go do something fun.

  310.  #310Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 9:52 am

    siren song as long as you were speaking your feelings authentically I believe this is the kind of thing that can suck a man in. Seems to me you did fabulously well. If you can only really sink down into that feeling again and really memorize it in your cells so you can make it an easy go to, when you need to do so in the future.

  311.  #311siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:58 am

    thanks FW, i always enjoy your feedback on posts.

  312.  #312lk on March 8, 2012 at 9:58 am

    i feel so weird thinking about it…. LOL @starla… i was kind of picturing a 5000 dollar near-beater ? i don’t know… i feel afraid of car payments…. what do you think ?

  313.  #313Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Calypso stay on your own side. I hope you enjoy getting spoiled on Monday for your birthday.

  314.  #314Starla on March 8, 2012 at 10:01 am

    i think i feel just as clueless as you do!

    when are you hoping to buy the car?

    forgive me for saying this on international women’s day, but, bring a man with you. they’ll treat you more honestly.

  315.  #315Starla on March 8, 2012 at 10:04 am

    i’m going to email you, lk

  316.  #316Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 10:21 am

    FW…ooohhh…sounds lovely!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel smiley just thinking of you with receiving those beautiful pink roses from “men” ๐Ÿ™‚

  317.  #317Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Turquoise…i think you have the right idea…it’s kind of the same as “you are the prize” vibe…I say if you have that vibe going on…you can’t go wrong ๐Ÿ™‚

  318.  #318Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Turquoise…actually I LOVE the yummy pie visual AND also you could say “I am the air you need to breathe” to yourself when he is in the room and see what happens lol…this could be so fun ๐Ÿ™‚ your vibe could just ooze sensual, soft, warm yumminess ๐Ÿ™‚

  319.  #319lk on March 8, 2012 at 10:30 am

    also…. is it a Terrible Idea to lease a vehicle ?

    @Starla, i want a new car in the next week or so… & definitely CDCD wants to come with me & help me & have it be “our car” : )

  320.  #320Starla on March 8, 2012 at 10:33 am

    leasing a car is only good if you absolutely require a new vehicle, can’t afford the full term of payments, and don’t intend to drive it more than average. in my opinion.

  321.  #321Sensual on March 8, 2012 at 10:42 am

    @jilly 265- yeeahh jilly!! More rugby man kisses coming your way! He sounds like he is falling deeper! Wooo!

    Date with my super special kisser shyCD went really well last night we got on great and cuddled to movie, I told him his cuddles felt good and his kisses felt good too. He said “anything else feel good?!” and I just giggled.

    Wired thing tho is he didn’t ask me to stay the night and I’ve slept over (in clothes just cuddling) once already so I felt a bit wierd that he allowed me to drive home at 1.30am after drinking half a bottle of red wine. But we had fallen asleep on the couch for 1 1/2 hrs cuddling prior to the last drink and it is mid-week, perhaps he is being a gentleman or SHY to ask!

  322.  #322Mel on March 8, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I’m feeling so high-maintenance and demanding and attention-starved, and like every emotion is heightened and like I have this weird energy about me. I wonder if it is the full moon?

  323.  #323Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 11:11 am

    I haven’t heard back from SmartCD yet.. I guess I should relax, but instead I feel like I am getting nervous ;(

  324.  #324Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Sensual ๐Ÿ™‚

    I feel giggly and smiley just thinking about him…and when he said “ya you’re really throwing me for a loop, I can’t quite figure it out, I don’t have anything that bothers me, it feels really good to me too” in his super manly masculine way ๐Ÿ™‚

    before that we were talking about communication and he’s been the one to bring it up a few times how important it is and that if something is bothering me that he really wants me to tell him and I said “ok, I will” and I do, if I feel unsure about something then I bring it up. Then I asked him to do the same and if there is anything he wants to talk about…and that’s when he said the statement above hehe

    he’s already asked when my birthday is a few times ๐Ÿ™‚

    I started my period and I expressed that I feel blah and super crampy and he said that it’s ok to keep him informed of “period stuff” lol ( he just says these things that are so adorable!!)

    and he asked if I am regular and I said yes pretty much to the day, I asked why? (It felt unusual but good to have a man ask more details about my period) and he said so that he can remember to ask me how I’m feeling that day. Are you kidding me right now?????!!!!!! Is this man for real??

    about shyCD…hmmm..that does feel weird…I would put that in the file ๐Ÿ˜‰ just see what happens… it’s almost worse to start analyzing it.

    yay for warm soft melty kisses …. ๐Ÿ™‚

  325.  #325Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Siren song …WOW!!! That feels impressive to read…

    I feel curious…in your gut do feel like he is not “the one” or do you feel that it wouldn’t work out anyway if you became exclusive?

    I agree with FW…I think that draws them in…

  326.  #326Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Memulo…did you text him or are you feeling nervous from before?

  327.  #327LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 11:32 am



    Yes, Thanks FW. Looking back on my stampeded this morning, it was to punish him, badly. I have since apologized if I was mean. We kept our plans for the weekend. Putting together some FMs cuz I’m sure he’s going to want to “talk”

  328.  #328LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 11:37 am

    # 259

    “Femininewomanโ€ฆit feels inspiring how โ€œhereโ€ you are when you are here. You donโ€™t just skim posts. You read them all and really โ€œhearโ€ them. wow. ”

    I totally agree!!! FW is a blessing

  329.  #329LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Welcome Cocoa Kisses!

  330.  #330LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Congrats Sassy!!!

  331.  #331Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Haha Jilly, yes I texted:

    ‘Felt so good to hear your voice last night’

  332.  #332LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 11:45 am


    # 295

    Sound interesting to try that out. Just be true to your feelings and stay in touch with them while you are doing this, and make sure you are not giving off a negative vibe to him.

  333.  #333Goodheart on March 8, 2012 at 11:46 am

    I feel very spring fever-y. Would feel so nice to take a little trip.

    Right now I’m enjoying reading all the stories on here. Everyone sounds so lovely & sireny!

    When my vibe is feeling low I repeat to myself “I am such a goddess.”

    And the other night my bf actually said to me, “you like a goddess right now.” ๐Ÿ™‚ He’s never used that word before.

  334.  #334Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 11:46 am’re funny ๐Ÿ™‚

    k so…do you feel good that you texted him?

    are you glad? or do you wish you hadn’t? what do feel/think now?

  335.  #335Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Goodheart…YAY!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love hearing from you..I feel connected to you ๐Ÿ™‚

  336.  #336LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Siren Song

    # 296

    I am so envious of your strength and resolve. That was super siren-y of you!!!

    I’m trying to get up the nerve to break things off with one of my CDs for similar reasons. On the other hand, I have another CD who doesn’t want to hear about any other CD, and so I don’t talk about it to him, and between the two I’m thrown off balance like crazy.

    But enough about me. I’m so admiring you right now!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  337.  #337LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 11:50 am


    # 297

    May I ask, are you in love with both of them, just loving one more than the other?

  338.  #338LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 11:52 am


    Enjoy the beautiful flowers!!!

  339.  #339Daria on March 8, 2012 at 11:52 am

    246: Memulo says:

    Maybe I can text him today to tell him about a cute gift that my mom brought me.. and ask how he is feeling?

    Thursday, 8 March 2012 @ 4:38am

    This is exactly what Rori lists as the classic ‘mistakes’ women make in overfunctioning

    Memulo I would do my best to feel into my anxiousness – the feeling that’s triggering me to do/ reach out – and sink in and love those feelings.

  340.  #340Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 11:52 am


    Yes I feel good about texting. But thinking maybe he is upset with me, maybe I should have called instead?

  341.  #341Daria on March 8, 2012 at 11:58 am

    I want to lean back. I’ve been feeling like im manipulating outcomes like crazy. Umph.

    Even now I want to hit up the guy who said he would smoke w me last nite.

    Cuz I like to get up and get goin out in my pjs – fun!

    Instead I can lean back.

    I’m feeling crazy triggered and unimportant loserish unworthy nobody cuz I can’t get anyone to hang out with. That’s how I’m framing it… It’s not even true.

  342.  #342Daria on March 8, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Memulo – omgosh no! This is the Rori Raye website remember? Where we practice Not calling and texting guys!

  343.  #343Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 12:00 pm


    Thank you, at the end I texted a FM. Just he is sick and I got off the phone not in the best way, you are right, it was’nt authentic, though it was true. And now whatever I do I want to fix it ;(

  344.  #344Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    ((((memulo))))…i don’t believe he is upset with you..and you don’t need to call him…

    I wonder …what if you could believe that by NOT calling or texting or even thinking about him that you are bringing him closer to you?

    because it seems you have this BIG “fear” that you are going to lose him if you don’t do these things and that fear is driving you and that fear is hard to let go of.

    What if for just today you deeply trusted the universe that everything would be ok?

  345.  #345Goodheart on March 8, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    Aww Jilly, thanks, is it the Rugby connection? Haha.

    I actually feel connected to you too ๐Ÿ™‚ So happy that you’re feeling confident & happy these days. It really shines through in your posts.

  346.  #346LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 12:09 pm


    Shar-lean way back says:

    Hi Sirens, Just want to announce I am engaged

    OMG!!! Congrats!!! That’s beautiful!!!

  347.  #347siren song on March 8, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    i feel kind of weird now because i have to get my stuff back from him and i have been emailing him…he’s not reacting very well to it. and i don’t like emailing men now. i’m addicted to leaning back.

  348.  #348Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Thank you Daria and Jilly. I am making the effort ๐Ÿ˜‰

  349.  #349siren song on March 8, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    aw thanks love always!!!! that feels good to hear. i usually am soooo concerned with not rocking the boat. this was very hard. at one time i’d concidered him to be the love of my life…

    proof the tools work!

  350.  #350siren song on March 8, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    oops *considered

  351.  #351Daria on March 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Mochaberry it sounded like you had gotten the energy exchange in a good place when he was to do all the calling.

    There’s no reason for you to do any calling and it will damage the energy exchange. Now you are fighting over you taking back masculine power.

    I would encourage you to look back over your words and translate to feeling message.

    I feel it’s unnecessary is not a feeling it’s a thought. I think it’s unnecessary and it’s totally controlling and judgemental. I imagine any man would have a hard time w that kinda communication.

  352.  #352Daria on March 8, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    ‘but enough about me’ feels terrible to me to read now. I imagine dismissing and sweeping my lil girl aside .

    I feel scared to share about this I feel afraid of feeling scared and guilty if there’s a reading of it as criticism.

    Ok I feel guilty and scared to say a woman’s choice of words about herself feels bad to me

    When I read it my nervous system jumps tightening my buttocks and inner thighs .

    How can I express this without coming off as disapproving in any way I wonder?

    I’ve been saying to Papis… Ohhh I don’t want to hear my papi being called names (by himself).

    I encourage everyone to notice and tweak their turns of phrases to see what subconscious message is transmitted.

  353.  #353Daria on March 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    I feel like I’m talking through a straw or a wall… Like I’m really tense and getting the words out resentfully as If I were in pain or troubled to do so.

  354.  #354Daria on March 8, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    My lil girl is mad at me for ‘losing’ men maybe it’s my drama queen or an nv

  355.  #355Daria on March 8, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    I feel obsessed w men

  356.  #356Coco Kisses on March 8, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Can someone tell me if I got this tool right: As female Energy we do not initiate ANY phone calls, texts,emails, communication with a man, unless we are asked? If I have this wrong, please let me know. Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

  357.  #357Mochaberri on March 8, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    @ Daria #351 – Hey Daria!!! Thanks for the feedback. I understand how saying ” I felt it was unnecessary” is not really a FM.

    I agree I don’t have to do any calling and I will only do it if I feel good about it and I will keep it very short – promise – actually I probably will not I’m very busy these days and yes it would be going into my boy energy

    I really do love the current energy exchange I’m having and it makes me feel so warm and gooey – I felt like such a girly girl!!!!

  358.  #358Sensual on March 8, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Siren song – wow you seem like your in a great place emotionally about it and I’m sure that must have shone through in your conversation…..just as long as you are open and express how you feel and how much you like being with him as well as leaning back and sticking to your boundaries.

    Jilly that’s so sweet about the period thing awwwwww….

    I was ion my period last night too so I felt ok with not staying in his bed but it was just wierd he didn’t ask, the date was wonderful but when it came to that time at the end, there was this loooooong silence and thought “okie I then! I guess I’ll leave ! Lol”. I’m choosing the positive thoughts tho ie he’s clearly not just trying to sleep with me and he’s trying to take things slow because he reaaaaaally likes me hee hee- the rest of the date felt that way so it might be true!

  359.  #359siren song on March 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm


    I used to think he was the one, but he hasn’t stepped up in the way I require (marriage on the table with a ring and a date) despite me being very clear about what I want…and that’s his right…then he really was not open to me dating others. He was insulted and very angry. I don’t think another woman has ever had these types of boundaties (not even me until recently).

    So… It was kind of mutual. He wants me all to himself, but he isnt giving me a ring or a plan (he said he wanted me to move in with him, but his home is under rennovation and I can’t live there AND more importantly I want to be engaged). And he told me he absolutely will not see me if I continue to see others.

    It was just not the end of my bridge.

  360.  #360turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    FW, I won’t fake anything or pretend…. just shift my focus elsewhere as much as possible. I’ll be busy, so should be subtle… lol, at least I hope so. Just curious to see if my changing my actions will lead him to follow me, or if I feel a change in his vibe… I like experiments!

  361.  #361Starla on March 8, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    I just invited my lovely, newly divorced girl friend to post here with us. She is actually already familiar with Rori! AND she’s on POF. Wow, what a siren already!! I am going to see her tonight; can’t wait to talk Siren stuff with her!!

  362.  #362Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Siren Song I sincerely think he is cute. Why wouldn’t he not want you all to himself? Why would he let you go so easily? Why wouldn’t he be angry to see you go, possibly with someone else? Poor chap has experienced the siren energy, now he is addicted and his fix is being cut.

  363.  #363Izzy on March 8, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    I can’t get to the page. I get this message:

    Length Required
    A request of the requested method GET requires a valid Content-length.

  364.  #364Butterfly Wings on March 8, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    Gawd I’m never gonna catch up!

    Had a great night last night. TH messaged me and invited me to join him and a couple of friends for a “quick drink” (which means he was really listening when I told him I feel unimportant when he doesn’t invite me out when he’s with friends!). So we had a few drinks and a group of guys arrived who do some work for the company I work for on occasion.

    One of them was paying me a bit of attention, kept putting his arm around my shoulders, kept touching my arm, and even kissed me on the cheek! His colleagues were saying “You KISSED the client!!!” in shock! Haha! So funny! So I was feeling really good and when we finally left (after 11pm – so much for a quick drink!!), we were exhausted!

    We cuddled all the way home on the train which was bootiful too!

    Good night. Paying for it today. I hope it goes quickly!!!

  365.  #365Shar-lean way back on March 8, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Thanks Jilly,
    In case you didnt see a while back I posted about how I copied and printed a lot off of your blog. I like how you present LOA and explain the concept. I was into LOA a few years ago but wasnt quite getting it.

  366.  #366Maria on March 8, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Hopeful – if you are still reading this blog, or any others who are still married.

    Wondering about how to shift the focus onto ourselves while in a marriage. I can’t sever emotional ties, I still very much melt into my husband if he reaches out for me … but I also get very hurt if he doesn’t and I am asking for that emotional support (I think I am finally learning that lesson … asking – directly or indirectly doesn’t work.)

    I go to work and get positive strokes there. I can do a few things before or after by myself, but limited because I do want to spend time with our children. I will usually go along if he is doing something with them, and have a good time, but notice the comments or struggles that push my buttons.

    Is it better to “lean back,” disengage and only comment on the positive things, or to try and engage with feeling statements about what isn’t “OK.” I am a “problem solver,” by nature, who _really_ wants to just discuss everything and find a compromise. I have recognized that this needs a different strategy.

    I need to re-read the surrender speech and feelings messages sections to work on how to express this without being critical or inviting an arguement. I’ve tried setting limits/boundaries in the past, but they way I have done so has not been so effective.

    Currently going through Commitment blueprint …

  367.  #367Starla on March 8, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    I miss cf so much and just want to lean forward. i won’t, because i want to maintain the energy balance

    i did lean forward last night, so the fact that i feel like leaning forward again so urgently is a sign of an old pattern creeping up.

  368.  #368siren song on March 8, 2012 at 1:54 pm


    He is cute. Maybe he’ll be back. He is really pissed about the other guys. We’ll see…

  369.  #369Mel on March 8, 2012 at 1:55 pm


    Or maybe you’re affected by the full-moon as well… man I feel so incredibly needy today!

    Or maybe it’s the solar flares messing with our circuitry!

  370.  #370Starla on March 8, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    oooh maybe! I have so much good stuff planned for myself until I see him on Sunday, that I have no reason at all to lean forward.

    He’s supposed to take me on a day trip on sunday. i do feel a little nervous that he will cancel, just cuz of money, and i’d actually be okay with that if he would plan something else en lieu of a pricey trip, like a picnic on my living room floor:)

    i feel scared he’ll cancel cuz of money and then shirk away into his cave instead of stepping up to take care of me like he promised.

  371.  #371Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Finally I found some time to tell you about my date eith ModelCD!! (Turquoise, are you there!? lol)

    So, the guy was such a gentleman and he was very very cute.

    (cute thing #1) He came pick me up at work but missed the street as it’s a one way so he called me and said he was going to park his car and came join me at my office instead and walked me back to his car. Aww ๐Ÿ™‚

    We then went to a bar for a drink and (cute thing #2) he hold my arm while walking so I don’t fall on the ice. When we got in the bar, (cute thing #3) took my coat, hang it and everything. Conversation was nice, I tried to focus on physically leaning back and emotion in my pelvis. At one point he said when he is here in Canada he almost never meet girls that he feels a connexion with and felt like dating but when he goes to Russia, he meet girls like that all the time. But that I was like the Russian girls… hehe ๐Ÿ™‚

    We left the bar, he paid for the drinks (of course) and hold my coat again while I was wearing it, hold my arm again in the street, opened the car door for me and everything.

    We went to his place (remember, he’s Dicaprio’s roommate!!!) to smoke shisha. Dicaprio wasen’t there. So he made me a gin and tonic and took very good care of me.

    Then… Dicaprio arrived… with a girl.

    It is so weird because I felt this super strong connexion again between us as soon as he got in the appartment… And he kissed me on my cheeks and than looked into my eyes with a crazy intensity and kept doing it all time he was there. I felt really turned on. Lol.

    So the girl he was with was the total anti siren. At first I thought she was just weird (she was acting extremly strange and told me like 5 times my hair looked nice like she didn’t told me the first time) but than ModelCD and I realised she was just SUPER drunk (or on coke?)… And her feet were stincking so badely that ModelCD had to open the window! Haha. The two guys said something in Russian and than Dicapripo left with her in his room. And ModelCD told me he said he would bring her in the room because he was really ashamed of her. hahaha it felt hilarious!! Lol

    ModelCD insisted that I stayed a little later and I started to feel an attraction between us. We didn’t kiss or anything but we were talking close all time.

    He drove me home and came in to see my appartment and he hold me in his arms when he left. Cute ๐Ÿ™‚

    So we’ll see where this will bring us all… I still haven’t kiss ModelCD so I’m still open to accept a date with Dicaprio if he finally steps up.

    And they both suppose to be at the party tonight, it’s gonna be interesting…

  372.  #372Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Were not supposed to complain about men to men

    This man reminded me of Jodi

    Oh god is it safe to write that?

    Torture chamber fears

  373.  #373Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    So now I didn’t sleep a lot last night and felt a little hangover this morning and tonight it’s my girl friend’s birthday dinner and I than I have the russian party where I’m going with my Florida friend…

    I feel so tired and I wanted to cancel the party and just go home right after the dinner. But I thought of how I was excited about it earlier this week and I even took a vacation day tomorrow just to attend this party. So I decided to stick to my plan and go to the party even though I feel tired. I feel pretty proud of me. In the past, I would have cancel it and than feel regretful and lonely.

    Yay I’m happy for that! But d@mm I am tired!!!

  374.  #374Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Were not supposed to complain about men to men

    This man reminded me of Jodi

    Oh god is it safe to write that?

    Torture chamber fears

    No sex without emotions here.

    We only do emotions.

    Give it up. Give it up.

    As nice as I am, I think I have a Bad attitude.

    Ppl be Tryna diss me! An sayin im bootsy!

    I feel horrified!

    What if they’re right? What if I am bootsy and unattractive?

    Omg I might be one of those crazy bitc*hes I hang out with who pee on they self.

  375.  #375Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    374: Daria says:

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    Were not supposed to complain about men to men

    This man reminded me of Jodi

    Oh god is it safe to write that?

    Torture chamber fears

    No sex without emotions here.

    We only do emotions.

    Give it up. Give it up.

    As nice as I am, I think I have a Bad attitude.

    Ppl be Tryna diss me! An sayin im bootsy!

    I feel horrified!

    What if theyโ€™re right? What if I am bootsy and unattractive?

    Omg I might be one of those crazy bitc*hes I hang out with who pee on they self.


    Thursday, 8 March 2012 @ 2:26pm

  376.  #376Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    I feel like I’m fumbling and my hearts pounding love me love me desperation

    I feel pony and needy

  377.  #377Starla on March 8, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Lizka, I feel smiley reading your story:) Thank you for sharing. I know it took a while to type that!

  378.  #378Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Im really unattractive. And a punk. And gullible.


    Feels horrific

    I want to heal this.

    I can’t stand feeling like this one moment longer.

    And I feel horrified.

    I feel like I can’t stand it.

    Actually I can

    Actually I am string.

    And now I feel gooder.

  379.  #379Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Lol yeah Starla indeed. I wanted to write about it since last night after the date. I was so excited! And I couldn’t find time before just now! hehe Busy me!!!

  380.  #380Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    I felt terrified and I did it! I came put on the other side !

    I feel all peaceful now.

  381.  #381Jilly on March 8, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Shar-lean way back

    Wow really?? I feel sooo happy that you liked it so much! ๐Ÿ™‚ I must have missed that some how ๐Ÿ™

    I’m so glad you told me though!!! Thank you..that just made my day ๐Ÿ™‚

    I feel so curious to talk to you about it lol

  382.  #382Starla on March 8, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    I’m responding to Alaska’s email about if i want to keep going out with him (but it’s been 2 months since our last date, so lol). I decided to tell him that 1. even if i were interested, i don’t feel good initiating contact with a man cuz it feels like chasing and i don’t want to feel like that, so that’s why he didn’t hear from me. and 2. that i am entirely too sensitive of a girl to date a guy like him.

  383.  #383Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Nobody feels me ๐Ÿ™

    They think I want to be treated a certain way and I don’t!

    Aaah help I feel so misunderstood.

    I want to be myself I don’t want to feel judged!

    I want men who treat women well hello I am really really bad if u don’t think so u ain’t had none of my pussy ask any of my exes

  384.  #384Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    If any of them say my pussy weak I will kill myself.

    Not literal

  385.  #385Starla on March 8, 2012 at 2:49 pm


  386.  #386Daria on March 8, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    If any of them say my pussy weak I will kill myself.

    Not literal

    Im judging myself as not perfect not doing enough effort to present myself in a way that shows me as my baddest est

    I feel sad thinking that actually

    I’m glad I’m seeing it

    I like the frumpy rolled outta bed ghetto girl Rollin around the neighborhood round away look

    I feel good being me

    I feel dissapointed at the quality of men I’m meeting

  387.  #387Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 2:56 pm


  388.  #388Zara on March 8, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Jeudi 8 Mars 2012 _ Jour de la Femme.

    Peter Gabriel (UK) & Youssou Ndour (Sรฉnรฉgal)
    *Shakin’ The Tree* 1989

    Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
    Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree

    Waiting your time, dreaming of a better life
    Waiting your time, so much more than just a wife
    You don’t want to do what your mother has done
    She has done
    This is your life, this new life has begun
    It’s your day – a woman’s day
    It’s your day – a woman’s day

    Turning the tide, you are on the incoming wave
    Turning the tide, you know you are nobody’s slave
    Find your brothers and sisters
    Who can hear all the truth in what you say
    They can support you when you’re on your way

    It’s your day – a woman’s day
    It’s your day – a woman’s day

    Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
    Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
    Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree

    [ extra lyrics from 1989 remix ]
    There’s nothing to gain when there’s nothing to be lost
    There’s nothing to gain if you stay behind and count the cost
    Make the decision that you can be who you can be
    You can be
    Tasting the fruit come to the Liberty Tree
    It’s your day – a woman’s day
    It’s your day – a woman’s day
    [ end of extra lyrics from remix ]

    Changing your ways, changing those surrounding you
    Changing your ways, more than any man can do
    Open your heart, show him the anger and pain, so you heal
    Maybe he’s looking for his womanly side, let him feel

    You had to be so strong
    And you do nothing wrong
    Nothing wrong at all

    We’re gonna break it down
    We have to shake it down
    Shake it all around

    Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
    Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree
    Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We are shakin’ the tree

  389.  #389Turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Lizka, sounds like a very good date. ๐Ÿ™‚ Guess you changed your minds about the movie? It’s so hard to get to know someone when you go to a movie and can’t talk. That is funny about Dicaprio bringing the wierd girl back. Hmmm… I know you feel an intense attraction to him, but Model CD sounds good, sweet…. and sexy. I like that he did the cute little things. He cares about making a good impression and wanting you to feel special. I like that. I cannot even imagine going to a wild party on a Thursday night, lol… but I’m an old mom…lol. 38 and tired!

    To compare our lives, lol….. I stopped at this little store on my way home tonight and was so excited to find this HUGE 20 qt. stock pot! So, my excitement for the night is making two kinds of homemade soup. Ham and cabbage, and ham and bean soups…. they will tase yummy, and will make so much soup that I can save lots of money on meals, but I think I need to get out more! ๐Ÿ™‚ So sexy Lizka, wear some completely amazing dress, dance your ass off and have a couple good drinks for me! Oh, and FLIRT ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love cooking though, I love the way my home smells, I love that almost every single time I cook dinner, my girls say it’s the best thing they’ve ever had…. I love knowing that we may not have the best of everything, and I drive a piece of crap minivan, but we will never be hungry. That is not a worry I will ever have about not being able to feed my children. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel to be able to provide for my family. I could just cry thinking how hard so many people have it. It positively pulls at my heart strings.

  390.  #390Turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    I have a ton of housework to do. I made all kinds of lists; what I want to get done tonight, tomorrow and Saturday mornings (before the party), but I don’t feel like cleaning right now. I feel like just being lazy and watching tv while my soups simmer. I’ll regret it tomorrow though, because I won’t feel confident when my ex gets here that the house looks wonderful. If I don’t start now, I’ll be up really late tonight or extra early tomorrow morning to get things done before work. Hmmm. That feels bad. I don’t want to not get enough sleep so I can be lazy now. Ok, going to take one task at a time. I need to spot clean the carpet in a few places, dust, vacuum, clean the bathrooms, straighten up my living room, kitchen, my room and take out the garbage. I also want to work in that messy garage since it’s garbage night, but that comes later, when I get a second wind. Ok, going to start with the kitchen since I still need to add some stuff to my soups, and then move through my list. I’ll be back during my breaks every 45 min. or so to check in.

    Team stop procrastinating, I’m getting to work! Need some dance music to keep me moving! ๐Ÿ™‚

  391.  #391lk on March 8, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    @mel & @starla

    yes, the full moon !!! that ish makes me batXXXX cr8zy

  392.  #392Starla on March 8, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    Woohoo turquoise, happy preparations!

    Tomorrow I will be fully on board with team stop procrastinating. taking the day off of work to get housework done and to host a dinner party myself:)

  393.  #393lk on March 8, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    cool, lizka : ) you sound like a baller, like Daria : )))

    i wanna be a baller too ! : )

  394.  #394Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    Lizka if I were you I would go slowly. Going home with him is tOo risky and taking him home with you on a first date makes it so much harder to set boundaries later. Remember men are on their behavior early on because they want to win you over

  395.  #395Zara on March 8, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Plan International. Because I am a Girl

  396.  #396mali on March 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    @ 234: Lizka- Ugh, what a turn-off!

    With this guy, I don’t know him too well, but when I’ve been around him when he *hasn’t* been drunk he’s been a complete gentleman, and I’ve felt safe and protected…

    I have to return his hoodie to him sometime next week, so I’ll see what his vibe is like when I see him… but I do want to discuss what happened… So I think I’m going to write a script. Something like:

    I feel really awkward bringing this up, and a little scared, but do you remember what happened last Wednesday night?
    I really don’t feel comfortable doing more than kiss a guy I don’t know too well… I’m pretty sure I’d get attached, as well, and I don’t want that… But I do like you, and would like to get to know you better… what do you think?

    This might be lean-forwardy, but I want to focus on expressing my authenticity here. This is how I feel… But it does depend on how he feels to me when I see him…

  397.  #397Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I am trying so hard to keep the focus on me and not to feel the fear. I need to go and study. I miss him so much.

  398.  #398Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Good news is that I managed to loose like 3 pounds that were oh soooo hard to loose.. I feel stronger and lighter and more feminine now. I look better in my pretty dresses.

    What if I acted too cold? oh no

  399.  #399Francesca on March 8, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    Lizka, I’m really happy that your date with Model CD went well but this part make me cringe:

    “And ModelCD told me he said he would bring her in the room because he was really ashamed of her. hahaha it felt hilarious!! Lol”

    I’m guessing “he” is DiCaprio, right?

    I felt bad reading that because it doesn’t sound like a respectful way to speak of the woman he was with.

    I’m wondering (if I were in your situation) what I would think of DiCaprio if he said something like that in front of me.

    I just don’t like it.


  400.  #400Francesca on March 8, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Memulo, to me it didn’t sound like you were too cold.

    Everything is fine.

    Keep the focus on you.

  401.  #401Francesca on March 8, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Zara, thanks for the Peter Gabriel/Youssou Ndour song.

    Hadn’t heard that one in a long time.

    A blast from the past.

  402.  #402Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    I keep on re-reading what Jilly wrote to me about trusting that things will be ok and I remember that FW every time when I start going crazy tells me to trust. I am really trying to find the balance so I can trust myself that I can take it either way.

  403.  #403Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Thank you Francesca! It feels so comforting to read ๐Ÿ˜‰

  404.  #404Starla on March 8, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    Memulo, do you really miss HIM? or do you miss feeling a certain way? or are you afraid of feeling rejection?

    if you do miss him, what do you miss about him?

    i ask so you can process and get clear and focus on yourself:)

  405.  #405Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    Francesca –

    Yeah it was dicaprio and not ModelCD.

    He actually didn’t SAID it, but ModelCD said he probably did it because he felt embarrassed. ๐Ÿ™‚


  406.  #406Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    lk 392

    A baller? Isn’t it something bad? Maybe my bad english make me not get it?

  407.  #407Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Turquoise 388 –

    My life is not ALWAYS exciting like that, you know it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And I go out tonight only because I cantake off tomorrow. I’m glad I have a job that gives me 23 days of vacation PLUS 12 sick days a year!!

    PS Turquoise 38 is so not old! You’re a hot Mama!

  408.  #408Francesca on March 8, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    “Baller” could mean anything….which one is it, lk?

  409.  #409Francesca on March 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    Lizka, no, really I’m not.

    But hey, you were there so you could read the vibe that was going on.

    I can’t from where I’m sitting, I’m just reading words on a screen. :/

  410.  #410Francesca on March 8, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    I guess what I want to say is I hope he doesn’t say stuff like that about you in your back, though.

  411.  #411Francesca on March 8, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    Enjoy your night out, though! ๐Ÿ™‚

  412.  #412Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    RE 404 I didn’t feel good about the comment either. I also felt a little uncomfortable reading about roommates bringing girls back to their residence at the same time. I was under the impression that guys make arrangements with each other so that doesn’t happen.

  413.  #413Femininewoman on March 8, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    RE 409 Yup. But a siren will notice red flags.

  414.  #414Turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    Ok, so I organized my panty and made two huge, steaming pots of soup, but now I’m tired and still have a lot of cleaning to do. I’m taking a break, having some soup and watching American Idol.

    Lizka, I didn’t care for that comment either, or the entire situation in fact, would have made me feel uncomfortable… but I’d focus on the fact that you had a good time with him, he was respectful, didn’t even try to kiss you… and go have fun at your party tonight! ๐Ÿ™‚

  415.  #415siren song on March 8, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    I want to join team stop procrastinating!

  416.  #416LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    After a tumultuous week, I’ve found my way.

    I am in love with love . . . doesn’t matter from where it comes, I’m just in love with love, and this is how it’s going be because loving love is loving me.

    I am the common denominator

    I am the constant and continuous piece of the puzzle

    I am always there for me
    I am always strong and safe for me

    Whatever I do, no matter who is there, it is romantic and I deserve it because I love me (if he wants to join in, he’s welcomed)

    It’s this way today and forward more

    I’m in love with love,
    I’m in love with me


  417.  #417Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Oh francesca yeah maybe just the words looks weird but in the real life, it didn’t look disrespectful actually. Tje vibe was good. ๐Ÿ™‚

  418.  #418siren song on March 8, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Love always…aw

  419.  #419Hopeful on March 8, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Well Sirens, I could use some opinions.

    Things have been getting worse at home lately. The hubby gave blood a few weeks ago, and he knows it gives him an iron deficiency, which causes irritibility and tiredness, which makes him hard to live with. Anyway, he is worse than ever now, even though he is taking iron supplements. I googled a medicine he takes and it is also known to take iron and some other vitamins from the body when you are on it long term.

    I tried to gently encourage him to go to the doc, but he won’t. He told me not to worry about it.

    Things have been really bad between us recently, and things have not really been going that well before. I am finding myself trying to be out of the house as much as possible to avoid him.

    Last night I told 2 girlfriends a few stories and they told me I should move out for a while, not for ever, but perhaps for a week.

    Then tonight, I was on the phone with a well respected marriage therapist and she suggested I move out too. For a week or whatever I feel like.

    It is odd that I feel both serene and scared when I think about it. Like this could finally put stick the fork in the marriage. But it would also be nice to have some space. It could be an ugly conversation and it could be the end.

    Not sure if I am ready to do it or not.

    Does anyone have any feedback for me? What would Rori say?

    I am going out of town this weekend to see my nieces. I am not planning on calling him the whole weekend. If he calls, I will return his call. I will get home late sunday night.

    I am thinking maybe I should just stay at friends or hotels on the weekends for space. Not sure what I want to do. Very scarey.

    The tension in this house is at a really high level. I feel like I can’t even use feeling messages. They are irritating to him whether positive or negative.

    Any thoughts or stories would really be appreciated.

  420.  #420Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    Thank you Turquoise. Seriously I didn’t care at all that the comment could have sound weird and I’m not bothered at all an I like it like that. Yay me and yay positivity!

  421.  #421siren song on March 8, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    Hey sirens,

    Quick question: how have you all experienced being ‘set up’? My massage therapist said she had a dream about me and her friend hitting it off, so she connected us on facebook. It turns out he’s a doctor who is into good books and yoga, so we’d likely have something to talk about, at least, on a date.

    I’ll definitely go on a date with him, at least one. I’ve never really been set up, though…I feel kind of nervous!

  422.  #422LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 5:24 pm


    # 403

    “do you really miss HIM? or do you miss feeling a certain way?”

    Wow, you really really have a point here! I am so there sometimes. It’s the feeling. I can recreate a moment in my mind and relive time and time again. Yes, it’s the moment we miss sometimes, not the person. Just have to remember, if it’s a shared moment, I was there too – the common denominator!!! So I don’t have to miss it, I it can be recreated ๐Ÿ™‚

  423.  #423Sassy on March 8, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    Thank you all for the kind thoughts and words about our littlest new siren.
    Turquoise, I really hope your “walking out as he walks in” plan works out for you. I really want a happy ending for you!
    Hopeful, you are facing some tough, painful drastic decisions. I’m keeping my thoughts positive that you get the result you truly want also.
    Liska, all I can say is- be careful
    Where is FlowerChild 77??? I miss your input!
    FeminineWoman, you are wise and generous with your comments to all of us.

    Much love

  424.  #424Zara on March 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    199:ย Starlaย says:
    ***Do you ladies ever feel like this or know anything about this?
    I noticed that i feel nervous and exposed a lot of the time. It feels just lousy and tiring. like i am trying to trick the rest of the world into believing i am worthy and not just some piece of sh*t. sometimes iโ€™ll go through phases of happy self esteem, and then NVs come in and tell me that i am delusional and everyone and their mom can see i aint worth much, and that iโ€™m only making myself look worse by pretending itโ€™s not true.
    it feels like tight breath, forgetting to breatheโ€ฆheart racingโ€ฆ.
    what causes this? I feel tired of this. I want to believe that this is not actually how i should feel and change it, even though my NVs say i must just be in denial of how much i truly suck.***

    I don’t know if it applies, but your post reminds me of the impostor phenomenon.

  425.  #425Zara on March 8, 2012 at 5:32 pm

  426.  #426Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm


    I miss him. He is not calling, not responding to my text. Something is wrong. It’s like I pushed him away? Or lost the connection somehow. I don’t know what to do. I’m close to calling him. Either way it feels bad

  427.  #427LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    . . .

    I wanna be blind tonight, while Iโ€™m loving you,

    I wanna have to find my way,

    And I donโ€™t wanna have a clue.

    Just let the universe surprise me,

    When I walk into your room, babe

    I got a whole lot of kissing and a whole lot of touching

    And a whole lot of loving waiting on you, babe.

    Got a whole lot of feeling, and a whole lot of thrilling,

    And a whole lot of healing, wanna please you.

    So, letโ€™s just turn off all the lights because:

    Babe tonight I wanna get lost in your love . . .

    I wanna get lost babe! . . .

    I wanna make love in braille,

    While Iโ€™m feeling on you, yeah, babe!

    And I donโ€™t wanna have to care,

    You just do what you wanna do

    To me, babe!

    I wanna drift far out in your waters . . .

    And get trapped in your wilderness.

    I got a whole lot of kissing and a whole lot of touching

    And a whole lot of loving waiting on you, yes babe!

    Got a whole lot of feeling, and a whole lot of thrilling,

    And a whole lot of healing, wanna please you.

    Lost in your love – R. Kelly

  428.  #428Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    Oh seriously i don’t get why everyone is telling me to be careful. Seriously ModelCD was the sweetest thing ever, a cloud of respect!! Maybe my poor english made you understand wrongly the situation. Everything was perfect. Thank you.

  429.  #429Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    It’s like there is this distance created out of nowhere and i don’t know what to do with it. We didn’t see each other in a week. We didn’t talk in a week.

    He once told me when I said: I feel so excited about seeing the show. You made my day! He said: the way you are saying it.. so polite, like I feel no excitement at all. Of course maybe it’s because we are in a theater.. Maybe he feels this way about our conversation yday as well.

    Something is broken

  430.  #430Zara on March 8, 2012 at 5:43 pm

  431.  #431LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 5:47 pm


    You are beautiful!!!!!!

  432.  #432Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 5:56 pm

    Maybe the distance is because I said last night that I am busy, I need to go.
    He said: where are you going?? I said I need to take care of a few things.
    He: when can I call you?
    I: I’ll call you myself.

    He was saying that he is sick, said he even wanted to set up a text chat with me because his voice was bad, I made some stupid joke about it.. then said I was sorry, hope he feels better. Said I’m sorry, I really, really need to go. He said: ok, call me!

    Then his text 2 hours later that he misses me so much. Then I called another hour later and left a VM, he didn’t pick up. Today at 11am sent a text that it felt so good to hear his voice last night. No response..

  433.  #433Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    Maybe I should call and talk sincerely about things that bother me?

  434.  #434Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    Memulo, Maybe you should stop saying maybe. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Maybe = over analyzing

    Overanalyzing = wanting to damage control

    Damage control = overfunctionning

    Overfunctionning = anti siren, remember?

    Go back on your rock darling and enjoy the good time! That’s the best you can do I think.

  435.  #435Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    If you give him space, I’m pretty sure things will fixed by themself. ๐Ÿ™‚

  436.  #436LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 6:07 pm


    Not sure if this will work for you: I try to speak with my CDs when they call. It’s not always possible to take their calls, but when they do call, I make some times to speak and have some feeling messages to give if they are not in a talkative mood ๐Ÿ™‚

    This way, I’m not calling them. If I do miss their call, I call back but I don’t leave a voice message. The point is, I prefer they make the connection to me, and then I am responding to them, because they called me.

    Your calling is putting yourself out there for NV and disappointments to start picking at you. If you keep about your schedule, and just let them call, you are not sitting around waiting for a return call. When I don’t hear from a CD in a while (longer than I please or expect) I write down feeling messages, almost like journaling. In fact, I ended up writing a poem for CD song last night. After many many rewrites, I had it ready to send to him when he text or called me. It keeps your mind busy when you start to feel like you need to hear from him.

    Hope that helps sweetie. I feel what you are saying, I’ve been there.

  437.  #437LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 6:11 pm


    “something is broken”

    Lean back and let HIM fix it

  438.  #438LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    Hi Lizka!

  439.  #439Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    I agree with LoveAlways in 436!

    Hi LoveAlways!!

  440.  #440Zara on March 8, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    400: Francesca

    I feel delighted that you enjoyed it ๐Ÿ™‚

  441.  #441Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Lol LiveAlwats, I wrote “hi” to you before I saw you said hi. I think we’re cute!

  442.  #442LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 6:17 pm


    Don’t call him. Listen to one of Rori’s programs – get your balance back siren.

    I was like that all week, and I listened to her programs for the past 3 days every possible moment. I’m better now. I think FW posted that she benefits from listening to the programs over and over. If you don’t have any recorded programs whip out Rori’s ebook and go straight for chapter 16!

    Don’t call him baby

  443.  #443Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    “Live Alwaysl!! Lol that was a typo but it’s funny!!

  444.  #444Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 6:18 pm


    Thank you. The reason I did not talk to him for more than a couple of minutes is that the whole week we were exchanging VM’s and he would always call me back a day later. For whatever reason, even when he asked to call him soon (and I did). I did not have time to FM my disappointment when he called, plus I promised to call later, so thought I’d have my chance.

    It just didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I feel so doubtful because he is sick and kept on saying he was sick.

  445.  #445LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 6:19 pm


    We have that shared positive vibe going on!!!

  446.  #446Zara on March 8, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    110: Shar-lean way back

    My best wishes, may you be happy for ever after ๐Ÿ™‚

  447.  #447Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Ohh I can’t even take the time to listen to any programs, I have a super important meeting tomorrow and I don’t have the right to screw it up. Instead I’m all shaking and not even getting ready for it. It’s beyond irresponsible.

  448.  #448Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 6:25 pm


    Thank you dear, I appreciate it as always.

  449.  #449Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Ah my god I feel so tired, I don’t know how I’m going to survive to this party… I wanted to take a little nap but I got home too late. I kind of look like sh*t too, lol, have to retouched my make up and do my hair and changed if I want to feel more sireny and confident tonight. I really want to enjoy this party the maximum as possible! I was so looking forward to it!

  450.  #450Lizka on March 8, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    Here you go Memulo! Focus on that meeting and everything gonna put himself in the good place, I promise! xoxo

  451.  #451Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Last night I left a VM: ‘I hope you are resting. And I wish you sweet sweet dreams. Good night’

  452.  #452Turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Well crap. That soup pot kinda got me in trouble. I made soooo much soup, that it’s barely going to fit in the refrigerator and I have all this mess to clean up. Why do I do this to myself? Instead of focusing on getting the cleaning done that I wanted to, I cooked and cleaned up the kitchen for almost 3 hours! Well, I’m not staying up super late tonight to worry about dusting. Just getting the big stuff tonight and taking out the garbage and running the sweeper. Bathrooms and dusting can wait until tomorrow. I’ll have some time after work before we have to run out to sell Girl Scout cookies.

    Now I’m kinda mad at myself. I procrastinated all week knowing he’d be here Friday, and now it’s 9:30 Thursday night, and I barely made any noticable progress.

    At least my laundry is all done.

    It’s not like the house is super messy, just needs picked up and quick cleaning done…. but it’s such a big house, it takes a long time. Oh well, enough complaining, need to get some stuff done. Be back later!

  453.  #453LiliBee on March 8, 2012 at 6:37 pm


    Hi Starla,

    I’m backtracking on the blog coz I couldn’t keep up this week, and came across your post.

    I want you to know that YES, I felt that way most of my life. Had a break from that in 2008 and 2009 where I felt great and I was all about fun fun fun.

    Then these feelings all came back for all of 2011, exactly like you describe it.

    So no, you’re not an alien and you’re not alone.

    But I feel a whole lot different now. Even w what happened w D, my confidence always shines through now.

    Those bad NVs only come back quietly for a little, they no longer take over like you describe.
    They haven’t since about December…which is due to a major breakthrough.

    The feelings you describe were there in 2011, and they left at the end of that year.
    They only came back very faintly for a little bit.
    They no longer overcome me.

    That happened for me by sinking into them so very deep when they overwhelmed me.
    I always unrelentlessly dove to the core of them every time they took over.
    I got to know them and their source so very well, that they don’t even show up anymore.

    I gave that little rejected abandoned little girl all the love, attention and compassion she never received growing up. She has adult me taking care of her now, she’s fine, so she’s confident and less demanding. She doesn’t pull at me and struggle to take me over anymore (you’ve seen kids act that way with their parents no?).
    I’m the adult now, and I’m in charge of giving her what she needs.

  454.  #454LiliBee on March 8, 2012 at 6:44 pm


    FW’s right, I always come up with a new revelation every time I listen to the programs over again.
    It’s like it’s too much to absorb in one shot.

    is there any way you can listen to them on your way to and from work?
    I listen to them in my car only going to and from work. 30 minutes to go and 30 minutes to come back every day.

  455.  #455Brenda on March 8, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    I just got home from a wonderful day out with my old friend, who I haven’t seen since the mid-90’s! She brought her 11 year old son and we spent the day at the National Aquarium in Baltimore, Maryland!

    It was a beautiful display of water creatures and some birds! The most amazing part was seeing dolphins in reality for the first time! I had only ever seen them on TV. I saw a 25 minute dolphin show and then watched them underwater with a viewing glass window for a long time! What beautiful, fun, happy creatures! I got tears in my eyes just watching them! I wanted to hug one so bad and play in the water with them!

    I felt so happy to reunite with my friend! We had worked together several years with mentally handicapped children, so we shared a lot of precious memories with the kids and each other.

    How I would like to do work something like that again, working with people in some capacity, not just document work.

    And the weather was amazing! We ate lunch overlooking the Baltimore Inner Harbor on a patio! The touch of sun on my skin felt like heaven, along with the good company and good food! I feel alive again!

  456.  #456Starbright on March 8, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    Just wondering how much of an age gap is ok…? I met a guy last night who I believe is 13 years younger. That seems like too much of a difference. However, there were so many fun things about him! We are in the same professional organization and we didn’t talk about getting together so I’m not sure if it will go any further, but there was plenty of flirting and it could be fun! ๐Ÿ™‚

  457.  #457Sensual on March 8, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Starbright it really depends on the individual and how you feel about it but I personally wouldn’t feel good about dating someone that much younger and it would trigger my insecurities. However I know a 32 yr old girl whos been dating a guy for 3years and he was 20 when they met but he made it so clear he was serious about her all the way thru

  458.  #458Sensual on March 8, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    Actually I can thinks iof more examples now, but I’d be careful

  459.  #459Daria on March 8, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    im saying NO to this guy who really wants to see me

    i feel unheard and like my time is not respected with him

    i feel uncomfortable turny tummy tingly hands when he talks to me and explains where its coming from

    it feels neverending and i feel left out the conversation and when i talk he interrupts and actually continues to talk OVer me even while im talking!

    i dont want to deal with taht

    and i feel guilty i told him agian i dont want to date

    and now i feel guilty and icky in my tummy

    it feels good that he wants to date me and is willing to keep calling me and insisting

    it feels bad when it comes to the dating

    i feel scared ill never have better

    love to me

  460.  #460Siren Angel on March 8, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    Hello Sirens,

    Just a quick reporting as M is in the shower from our vacation location… His kids are in bed and I am making pie (overfunctionning maybe but we are expecting company tomorow).

    LEAN BACK I keep reminding myself. ALWAYS remember to lean back. It does wonders.

    Be silent when there is nothing to say. Then an FM will do even more wonders.

    I am THE ONE.
    I am a Siren, therefore I am a Goddess, therefore I am THE ONE.


    We had a great snowboard (for me) ski (for M and his kids) day yesterday! +10 degrees (which is incredible here) and super sunny and beautiful. It was awesome. Today was raining so we just went shopping to Mont-Tremblant and I got the kids each a big bag of candy at the candy store… This as M has categorically refused pay for ANYTHING. Then we went bowling in St-Jovite.

    The only problem is around meals when I seem to get into overfunctionning mode, food shopping as well and meal planning… darn! Always asking him what he thinks though… but if I did not pick up after dinner tonight there is no way I would be making that pie in a dirty kitchen… so complicated. SO tomorow, I am totally leaning back some more. I lean back for everything else and it feels sooooo good. I can get used to this. As a matter of fact I have.

  461.  #461Starbright on March 8, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    Thanks, Sensual!

    Sometimes it is so hard to tell how old a person is. I was thinking he looked like he could be younger. But, it felt so good to sit next to him and talk with him. I would prefer to have someone closer to my age, however, I would not say no if he does ask me out!

  462.  #462Siren Angel on March 8, 2012 at 6:58 pm

    ***This as M has categorically refused FOR ME TO pay for ANYTHING.

    Important correction ๐Ÿ™‚

  463.  #463Sensual on March 8, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    Question: in relation to not asking too many direct questions in conversations and not saying “I hope you this …..and I hope you had a good day etc etc” and keeping the focus on you. Do you ever feel a bit selfish in the conversation and especially when we don’t ever initiate the contact? Also how do you keep the conversation going without asking those questions? Especially in texting. I know it’s their job to row the boat but I don’t want to make it impossible and to appear selfish. I try to be open tho……’s an example

    ShyCD text me: did you get some rest last night? I was so tired but I couldn’t sleep after our nap.
    Me: oh no, poor you. You must be so tired today. I imagine I passed out the second I got home tho I can’t remember at all…and I’m a tired girl today! Our nap was nice though ๐Ÿ™‚
    ShyCd: yes, very nice.

    The end………lol!

  464.  #464Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    Girls, he called ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Yes I know I am a complete nut case and a lost patient for a mental institution. Let’s hope they will find me one day

  465.  #465Sensual on March 8, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    I guess I’m trying to control, I would have liked a longer conversation but really what I’m asking is how much questions to you ask like “how was your day, how are you feeling, what are you up to?” etc it’s quite hard making conversation without that no?

  466.  #466Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:11 pm


    Yay! I loved skiing at Mt. Tremblant in my days!! What are you talking about, of course you are a total siren and a role model for us all. So please don’t forget the responsibility, lean back and crack your wonderful FM’s, we are all looking up to you.

  467.  #467Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:14 pm


    But these pauses create mystery and room for more conversations. Yes, it’s not selfish, it’s keeping the focus on YOU. The fun part is that HE wants it too. If there is a silence just enjoy it. Don’t say anything, it always pays back – proven from experience.

  468.  #468Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:16 pm


    I practically never ask how was your day. Now I ask my guy how he is feeling because he is sick, but even that comes after he asks how I am and I tell him in detail lol.

  469.  #469Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    #461: Yes, I was wondering ๐Ÿ˜‰

  470.  #470LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Yeah Memulo!!!!

  471.  #471Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:20 pm


    You will have better.. he is right around the corner.

    But did you tell this guy what the problem is? If that is the main problem of course. Sometimes they get nervous and don’t control themselves well.

  472.  #472Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Thank you LoveAlways..

    If it helps you and Lizka did convince me not to call today;) I feel soooooooo grateful

  473.  #473Sensual on March 8, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    Wow memulo! Ok thanks….I also have this old habit of ending texts with things like ” hope you’re having a great week” but I’m trying t cut back on that tho sometimes I feel I should say something about them instead of merely answering their question to me! Lol

  474.  #474Memulo on March 8, 2012 at 7:26 pm


    I don’t know, I only say ‘hope whatever’ in formal situations and to friends, very rarely to a romantic partner. it’s not even a FM.. and FM’s are the ones that really make the difference and create a ‘no closure’ message if that makes sense?

  475.  #475Sensual on March 8, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    Ok thanks memulo, its what I’ve been trying to do recently so I’ll continue on! Just wanted to check!

  476.  #476Lena on March 8, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Hi, everyone

    Leaned back yday completely and went to some semi formal meetings with my friends, despite all “I dont want to do this”.

    In the middle of the fun I was having with my friends I received “Hope you are good” from A. I didnt reply than because I didnt know what to say. I didnt understand why he is asking it.

    I answered him this am “I am not – I feel hurt and I miss you”. I dont want to pretend answering sort of “I am ok” as I did before with other people. This is what I really feel and I want to be true to my feelings.

  477.  #477LiliBee on March 8, 2012 at 7:38 pm


    Hi Starbright,

    I had a guy 11 years younger coming onto me at a club, then another one 12 year younger 2 weeks ago.
    When they ask my age, I ask them to guess. They both guessed 13 to 15 year younger than my real age!
    I love it! I feel younger now than when I did 10 years ago!
    Enjoy the attention, it makes you feel good I’m sure.

    I had a friend who found the love of her life in a man 13 years younger than her.
    I spent alot of time with them, and I wouldn’t be able to imagine them without each other.
    They are truly made for each other.

    Keep an open mind and open heart, you just never know.

  478.  #478LiliBee on March 8, 2012 at 7:40 pm


    Oh, and my friend has been with that younger guy for over 15 years now, and they are still in love and strongly comitted.

  479.  #479LiliBee on March 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm


    Ooohhh SA!

    I love being at Mont-Tremblant! Haven’t been in a long time.

    You’re doing so well, I’m happy for you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Well, your overfunctioning in the kitchen…I don’t see it as a bad thing.
    Most men enjoy when women who are good in a kitchen.
    Besides, it’s only for cooking anyway, and you ask him what he thinks. You lean back for everything else = good balance. After all, it is a dance.
    He sure doesn’t seem to be complaining or pulling away.

  480.  #480Starla on March 8, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    wow zara, these articles….
    thank you.

  481.  #481Starla on March 8, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    “I miss him. He is not calling, not responding to my text. Something is wrong. Itโ€™s like I pushed him away? Or lost the connection somehow. I donโ€™t know what to do. Iโ€™m close to calling him. Either way it feels bad”

    first of all, you’re not a mental case, lol <3

    so you say you miss him. then you expound upon it. but you're not expounding upon missing him. instead you're expounding upon feeling uncomfortable and having "LOST" something or done something wrong. not missing him. i think if you can start going below the surface thought or emotion with yourself, you will feel a lot less shaky overall and won't be distracted to a handicap like how you felt tonight. Feeling uncomfortable and anxious that you screwed things up is NOT missing a man. missing a man is remembering his unique smell and the way he tells jokes when you're together or the way he furrows his brow when he's concentrating on what you're saying to him. or even missing his compliments and back rubs…

    when you're clear on your real feelings, then you can better decide when to lean forward and not agonize over "should i, shouldn't i?" and all that strategizing is really bad for your feminine well being, siren.

    i hope the point i'm trying to make is coming through. sorry i struggle to communicate concisely sometimes, memulo!

    and again, you are so not a mental case! you have a full life and a career and hobbies and friends and passions, but matters of the heart can have the power to make us feel shaky and distracted from all of that. rori's tools help us approach relating to men and relating to *our own selves* in a way that keeps us feeling good and balanced and not needlessly shaky and distracted.

    but at least we have this blog when we do feel shaky:):):) thank goodness for me:D

  482.  #482Starla on March 8, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    i don’t feel like doing my homework so i am going to have my boy do it for me.

  483.  #483LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    CD song sang to me on the phone tonight . . .
    I feel the love

  484.  #484Starbright on March 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm


    475 & 476: Thanks so much for telling me about your fun with men younger than you and your friend who found the love of her life in a younger man!

    I haven’t had so much fun flirting with a guy in some time! It just seemed that we clicked on so many levels. It’s all part of my upping my vibe and feeling turned on and passionate about life! I’m loving it!
    And, in particular I really liked your comment:

    “Keep an open mind and open heart, you just never know.”

    That is so true. One of my friends told me to go ahead and have fun and that it would be a long time until I find my forever guy since it hasn’t been too long that I’m moving on from my previous guy.

    However, I choose to think that it could happen at any moment. There is no set length of time that I need to wait or set number of cd’s I need to date!

    Woohoo Universe, I am ready!

  485.  #485LoveAlways on March 8, 2012 at 8:48 pm


    I dated a guy about 12 years younger than me (over three years) and it was wonderful most of the time. He was mature for his age and I had NO problem keeping up with him . . . socially or otherwise ๐Ÿ˜‰

  486.  #486Starbright on March 8, 2012 at 8:53 pm


    Wow! Thanks for sharing your story about being with a younger guy!

    “I had NO problem keeping up with him…socially or otherwise :)”

    That makes me feel very smiley!!! And, you sound like quite the siren too!

  487.  #487Butterfly wings on March 8, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    432 Memulo – If I’m sick, all I want to do us curl up in my bed and sleep. Calling people or talking to someone is at the bottom of my list of priorities.

    Overfunctioning like you are (constantly thinking about him/worrying that you said the wrong thing to him) will do nothing more than push him away. It really messes with your vibe.

    How can you put your focus onto something else??

    This will make a world of difference to you.

  488.  #488Starbright on March 8, 2012 at 9:09 pm


    It’s also great that you are feeling younger now than you did 10 years ago! You must be feeling really good right now!

  489.  #489siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    starla 480:

    “so you say you miss him. then you expound upon it. but you’re not expounding upon missing him. instead you’re expounding upon feeling uncomfortable and having “LOST” something or done something wrong. not missing him. i think if you can start going below the surface thought or emotion with yourself, you will feel a lot less shaky overall and won’t be distracted to a handicap like how you felt tonight”

    ok, i don’t know if this is what you mean, but i had a really interesting experience this evening.

    tonight after the show i played i went past the bar where the cd and i who broke up tonight used to spend two or three nights a week…and i could see through the door in the car that he was at the bar, the way he used to be, sitting in his same seat, the same seat i sat in 100s of times since 2008 when we first started dating…

    and i didn’t feel sad about him. i felt…sad…that i didn’t feel excited about going to the bar where i used to hang out.

    this is literally the first time i’ve not really really wanted to go and hang out there and feel the way i used to feel when we first dated years ago. i was so happy then…but now tonight i feel it wasn’t totally because of him…it was a whole package of things, including going to a bar i liked AND being free from an unhappy relationship when i first met him and feeling generally good about my life at the time…

    so i now i see where i miss ‘him’ (i do miss the way his hands feel on me and miss seeing him smile), but the way i felt for a long time was longing…and i think starla’s right…it’s not the same thing. it’s some void that we project onto him.

    does that make any sense? i feel worried i’m not making sense.

  490.  #490Butterfly wings on March 8, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    TH’s friend from here at work emailed me this morning. It seems the guy who was all over me last night has asked for my contact details! I wonder if he told TH?! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I am such a good siren!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Almost caught up now. Lizka you sound like you hada great night! ModelCD sounds like a gentleman!


  491.  #491Butterfly wings on March 8, 2012 at 9:19 pm

    You make perfect sense SS.

    It must feel freeing!


  492.  #492siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:23 pm


  493.  #493siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    Yay BW!!

  494.  #494siren song on March 8, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    I intend to be a total rockstar at my friend’s birthday party tomorrow night!

    Going to practice so many skills!!!

  495.  #495Starla on March 8, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    my boy did my chinese homework. thank you, boy!

  496.  #496Starla on March 8, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    in going with the flow, it’d feel good to come up with a backup plan for if the plans to take a day trip Sunday with cf to “de-stress” fall through. I noticed that without a conscious back-up plan to feel excited about, i have a harder time going with the flow and accepting things for what they are when a man lets me down, and i get thrown off my horse instead of riding off to something else to make myself feel good.

    i don’t have much spending money right now, but something free/free-ish to destress would feel nice.

    i think i’ll feel less anxious about cf not following through with our date this weekend (because of money) if i have something lovely planned for myself as a back up plan.

    i have this weird feeling there’s an issue about the plan, because he didn’t call me today, but none of that matters and i tend to have these nosy little paranoid feelings anyway…and half the time they’re not true in the end:P. what matters isn’t if there’s an issue about him following through with our plans (which hasn’t even HAPPENED yet, lol, i’m speculating about imaginary, yet to happen problems, silly starla), but what fun options and plans starla has at her disposal for her de-stressing sunday.

  497.  #497siren song on March 8, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    and…now he’s texting me about how much he loves me. i am so tired. i just want to go to sleep.

  498.  #498siren song on March 8, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    good night sirens!!

  499.  #499Starla on March 8, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    it did happen before sort of, but it doesn’t feel fair to just expect it again and again. i don’t want to operate from a place of constantly expecting someone to disappoint me. if someone were constantly expecting that of me, i would feel very on edge and afraid and clumsy, all of which just lead to my disappointing them just as expected. i know this is coming up for me to heal my disappointment and expectation of disappointment. it feels like a prison and my idea of relief is bringing them into the prison with me, constantly reminding them that i expect them to disappoint me so they better work really hard to break us out of the prison!

  500.  #500Turquoise on March 8, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    Hi Sirens,

    It’s after 1… I’m up later than I hoped, but got a lot done and it feels good going to bed knowing I don’t have to face a messy kitchen in the morning. I cleaned out the frig, the panty, a bunch of drawers, and took out 8 bags of garbage!!! It’s too late to open the garage door because I do have neighbors, so not worrying about straightening any of that up tonight because I can’t pitch it with my garbage. I have some empty boxes I can take to work, they’ll burn them for me, and I have some stuff that I know I can take to Goodwill and drop off. Every time I come in, I grab something I’m keeping and put it away. Doing a little bit at a time really does make a difference. So, what’s done is done. After work tomorrow I’ll dust, clean the mirrors and the bathrooms, and unless he gets stuck in traffic, it’s as good as it’s going to get. It looks pretty good, just the house doesn’t feel perfect to me. I feel much more relaxed when he’s here when the house is clean. He’s gotten to be a percectionist, and if there is anything out… like papers, odds and ends, etc. he comments to the girls that they have to help me more. Which, I appreciate he’s trying to help and teach them to be responsible, but I’m not a neat freak, we live here… we have pets, it’s a home, not a museum. I’m not really worried what he would say or think, as it looks better every time he comes. (rooms rearranged, more decorating, more organized, etc.) but it will be the first time his sisters and their husbands see it on the inside. It’s also the first time his parents and a family friend who helped me move will see it since October. I am so proud of the house, want it to look really special Saturday. Damn my procrastinating.. I could have gotten more done in the garage this week if I hadn’t kept putting it off. Not going to beat myself up about it. I work full time, I took the girls to gymnastics twice, I did grocery shopping and a trip to Target, helped with homework, groomed the dog, did all my laundry, and am now preparing for a party. I deserve down time spend with my girls, read the blog, watch a few tv shows, pamper myself, have a glass of wine and talk to my sister.

    So shut up NV’s telling me I’ll never change, I’ll always be a procrastinator…. I even filed my taxes!!!!

    Ok, I feel better now. Considering a shower, but think I’ll just fall into bed and get one in the morning.

    Goodnight sirens!!! Thanks for always being here for me!!! ๐Ÿ™‚