Greta Hassel’s Night Of Love

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Just wanted to let you know about this – Greta is SO amazing, and what she and Dennis have going together is SO worth “getting some of” – http://www.NightOfLove.com…Love, RorA Holiday Night of Lovei

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57 Comments

  1.  #1Femininewoman on December 28, 2013 at 8:44 am

    Thanks



  2.  #2Corin on December 28, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Sophie, on the last thread you asked for suggestions. Have you told him how you feel low rent and asked what he thinks?



  3.  #3Corin on December 28, 2013 at 9:10 am

    Feel about the rent not being low



  4.  #4sophie on December 28, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    Hi Corrin 🙂 yes…we’ve talked about it…he doesn’t have any to give me – he’s getting that money from welfare checks…i felt angry as there were a few weeks when he didnt contribute at all and I suppose because ive been putting all my energy into trying to make money left right and centre and getting into debt it would have felt nice to have seen him doing that too or at least felt some understanding or pulling together – then i would have felt a bit more supported – I don’t know its ridiculous – its my house so its my responsibility but then if I want to do something like rent another room i have to talk to him as ‘my partner’ but i don’t feel like he is behaving like my partner…I will talk to him again about what he thinks we should do…I think we need to not live in the same house for starters 🙁 xxx



  5.  #5Mandy on December 28, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    So I’m wondering if anyone can help me with the “opt out” tool.

    Guys are great at it…

    It sounds like Strong Surrender but at the point where you’ve had enough and walk away…

    Can someone explain how it works?



  6.  #6Corin on December 28, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    Sophie, that sounds hard. I’ve been in a similar situation of living with a man who was not paying much to be there whilst I was struggling. I struggled because I had beliefs that the man should be taking care of me. Sounds like finding a way to take care of yourself whilst remaining soft and open hearted to him is really hard at the moment. The lodger idea sounds like a good one. Is it possible to get a lodger and remain open to hima nod tell him how you feel in a non blaming way?



  7.  #7sophie on December 28, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    I’m going to try Corrin…we are both in a really vulnerable place it would feel nice to just be able to treat each other with some gentle kindness whilst we arrange the material aspects so that they suit us better..,I also wouldn’t want to move someone in to a warzone! My brother has offered to lend me a bit of money and my outburst on here has helped ease some of the angst and resentment – i feel a bit calmer now x we have talking we need to do definitely we have not been happy living together and i feel like i have lost trust and hope in a future x really i may feel happiest if i rent the whole house out x so many pathways to consider! xx how did you resolve your situation in the end?

    Mandy! I don’t know I’m sorry! I’d be interested in others answers though 🙂 xx



  8.  #8Millie on December 28, 2013 at 3:58 pm

    Sigh…I don’t know anymore.
    Men don’t stick around with me.
    Today I feel low energy about it. My mind says “whatever” “who cares,” but my heart is wondering why..
    Am I so bad at connecting with people?
    Am I so bad at inspiring men?
    I just want men to date. I want to circular date. I want men who want to date me, to be around! But they aren’t! I don’t even know what to change anymore. I feel clueless. I don’t believe there is nothing wrong with me…..men show up, but dates aren’t.
    I am starting to set more boundaries and these boundaries are coming organically, which is good. Like not calling a guy or initiating a date, I’m def not “hanging out” if a man asks me that way, I just feel “done” with all this crap. I crave and yearn so much for real relationship for real people, I just don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing is always good. Happy to do nothing and focus on me. But it’s a cycle…



  9.  #9Tereana on December 28, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Millie – I know how you feel!!

    I just posted a whole bunch on the last thread. I didn’t notice there was a new one up so soon. But hopefully people will see it. I don’t feel like repeating myself. Lol

    I did buy a card today. Just one. If – IF – I write to Lakeman (S), I get ONE shot at it. I get to decide what I want to write and fit it all on one card. I’ll practice on paper first. I just have a feeling that anything I might want to write will be so much more meaningful if I hand-write it. No matted what the “result” is. I literally don’t have a result in mind, because as far as I’m concerned, he’s not an ideal partner for me. He could be. If he made up his mind, or simply if he wanted to be. I have no control over that. I don’t know what I want to say. Maybe nothing. But “express.”

    And I’ve learned, through talking with my father, that it is best not to mention ANYTHING about what the guy may think or feel.

    I know that may sound like “duh” no-brainer. But seriously, I do it all the time without even thinking about it. It’s how I “learned” to be in relationship. It soooo doesn’t work – for anyone. I of course hate when people do that to me. But if I really stop myself, I can keep things as coming from me without being “about” me. Because the fear of being self-centered leads to more self-centeredness. Ironically, I guess….



  10.  #10Emerson on December 28, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    Mercedes if you’re out there remind me how you write your New Years letter to yourself …



  11.  #11Emerson on December 28, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    Hi tereana and sirens
    I have zero CDs contacting me.
    Lol.
    Zzz



  12.  #12Emerson on December 28, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    The left side of my body feels sore and “off”,, there is a block somewhere…
    I even broke out on that side only…



  13.  #13Corin on December 29, 2013 at 1:40 am

    Emerson I think the left side is our feminine side. Breaks outs are anger. Are you angry with no other outlet?



  14.  #14Corin on December 29, 2013 at 1:43 am

    Sophie in my story I closed off and he closed off so he left. Not a good result. I do know the few times when I sat beside him and really let my heart be open and vulnerable I could feel the difference between us.



  15.  #15Indigo on December 29, 2013 at 1:48 am

    Sophie,

    Your situation sounds difficult and painful, and triggers memories of my own difficult time living with D approximately a year ago. My concern is, are you not creating a toxic environment by not having the freedom to treat each other with gentle kindness? I also know for myself I would feel subservient if I was bringing in most of the money and not experiencing at least emotional support. These are my triggers, but have you explored setting firm yet gentle boundaries with him, up to and including him or both of you moving out?

    (((hugs)))



  16.  #16Tereana on December 29, 2013 at 7:45 am

    Lol!!!! I love myself today… Could be hormones. Could be that my mom is out of town. I just woke up with a happy feeling of “hello, world!” And I think I know the real reason…

    Because I switched from being all analyze-y and thinky and explainey in my head. Because, when I realized what I wanted to write to S, it was so funny, it made me smile. It is short, flirty, and not emotional at all. It’s fun. And I like myself when I’m being fun. I like being in THIS space. The fun me makes me love me even more : ) : ) : )

    Therefore it doesn’t MATTER if he writes me back, or if he laughs or cries or throws the letter out. I’m having FUN. I am enjoying my little “art project” – the art of my life as me being me. All my sexy soul-mates would be proud.

    I love me being free, expressive, fun & confident.

    My guess is, this is how others like me best, too. But it all starts with me, not fitting myself into a mold I don’t truly belong in….



  17.  #17Emerson on December 29, 2013 at 7:59 am

    9 tereana thanks for the comment that we should not mention how a man may think or feel…
    I know I have felt tempted.
    I also recall a time when a friend did that to me in a negative way and it rubbed me the wrong way big time.

    8 Millie I feel the same way!
    I don’t know why either. I wonder if people are just more non committal these days. It seems everyone just wants to “have fun” and I M not against fun but I want more than that ….
    CutecityCD is never available on weekend which I find curious. RecycledCD is as noncommittal as they come. So by are they the only two men that I even talk to!?



  18.  #18Emerson on December 29, 2013 at 8:02 am

    Corin I’m angry at my famy for not “caring” more about us spending time together and making no effort.
    I am so angry at how I’ve been treated at one of my part time jobs and angry that I’ve allowed it to happen.



  19.  #19Emerson on December 29, 2013 at 8:03 am

    Tereana I’m glad you feel good today I feel happy because I have the day off!



  20.  #20sophie on December 29, 2013 at 9:01 am

    Hi Indigo

    Yes, the environment is much more toxic as it lacks the space for loving kindness – I guess also I expected less from him when we weren’t living together so it was easier to distract myself and I was able to be in my space and regroup and he in his – I didn’t feel the distance so acutely – I find it too difficult to navigate this distance with him being in the next room – I feel less alone to actually be alone and in another house – also then, I don’t feel so resentful and I do feel resentful because I don’t feel happy with the components of the relationship – these raw feelings then bleed into everything on both sides

    I find communication very difficult. I don’t have my feelings validated, in fact, I have them diminished ‘they are not true’. I have tried to explain how this feels (it feels like I’m not allowed to be a person in my own right) but even when I know he’s not meaning to be cruel it now touches a raw nerve. I never receive an apology for anything although I am expected to apologise on demand. Attempts at communication end up in arguments. I feel exasperated as I don’t feel heard and there is an element of that that feels crushing, controlling and bullying. He feels exasperated because he doesn’t understand me.

    I have tried to have conversations about what we could do; changing the living arrangements etc but so far I haven’t got very far. When I aim for a boundary I end up feeling frightened because he is so angry with me at seeming rejection – then I’m no good at keeping the boundaries because I want to keep the peace and for things to feel less horrible. However, maybe a firm boundary would be fairer on both of us. He doesnt want to fight with me or live like that either. For now, I also need to focus on the positives again because we have lost trust in each other and the positive things have got forgotten in the raw emotions that keep being triggered.

    I feel a lot of guilt myself around withdrawing my affections, and fear…but I also want to protect myself…Almost every conversation upsets me in some way – although earlier he was trying to be nice when it came to talking about NYE and whether he would stay in if I did he launched into a ‘why should i with you and the way things have been’ type of tirade – it made my cry, and feel crushed small, heart all sad and shrivelled

    I don’t want to keep adding to the drama either with him or by talking about it endlessly really although talking helps relieve some of the pressure and is a force against feeling taken over – I want a peaceful passage to a peaceful place – somehow xxx I am going to keep working on the boundaries I need stronger boundaries I am ruled by fear of my own emotions way too much xxx That is one reason why I need to be in a relationship with a man who can be gentle with me xxx

    Rori says in Toxic Men there is always a pay off if we’re in toxic relationships…I don’t know what mine is…if its to avoid intimacy then its working…if its to keep myself small then that is working too … 🙂

    It is comforting to me that you can identify – not that I would wish it on you 🙂

    Thank you Corin! Even so, at least you both managed to part ways xxx



  21.  #21sophie on December 29, 2013 at 9:03 am

    Yay Tereana and Emerson – enjoyment and fun! I love the light, happy energy! xxx



  22.  #22sophie on December 29, 2013 at 9:06 am

    Okay so on the positive side its nearly 2014 and its going to be just so delicious 🙂



  23.  #23sophie on December 29, 2013 at 9:18 am

    Expanding my horizons beyond these feelings which if I focus on feel intense into present moment feelings

    Right now I feel lighter to shift my mood, my heart feels opening – really like a lotus flower from a small tight fistlike ball into an expanding area – chest looser – I feel relief and release as I take a big deep breath and let go of all the tension – I feel hopeful anticipation things will be okay – a whole new year feels exciting – I feel grateful to have a comfy house to rest in and a fire to curl up beside – I feel satisfied that I submitted some work and can applaud myself for that – I feel anticipation at an early nights sleep and tomorrow I can work if I choose or rest or play – whatever feels good to me – the emotional storm has passed and right now all is well and all shall be well



  24.  #24sophie on December 29, 2013 at 10:07 am

    I don’t have to trust him I have to trust myself and that comes down to boundaries – voila – I am writing a list of boundaries that way I know what they are and I don’t have to feel confused in the moment 🙂



  25.  #25Shannon on December 29, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Mandy, can you simply say, “I don’t feel good in this relationship. I don’t want to see you anymore.”?

    It’s important to be blunt. Men aren’t subtle, or when they are, look out, lol. If he wants to know why, I would personally say, “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it, and I don’t want to.”

    What I’ve learned over the years is that you sort of have to be completely straight. “No, I don’t want this. No, there isn’t any hope for us. No, I’m not saying wait, I’m saying this is finished.”



  26.  #26Luzydel on December 29, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    I feel frustrated; CuteCD suddenly started having an attitude with me. he even said to “you’re an idiot”.
    His going to be deployed for two months and is going through some stress and is obviously pushing me away.

    I deleted him from my contacts and wont ask for anything. I hate dating, I really do. I hate trying and getting this results. Gosh I need to find a way to be happy without a partner and forget about once and for all,



  27.  #27Indigo on December 29, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    sophie,

    I can identify very acutely with the feelings you described. I don’t wish this on you. You seem like such a sensitive, insightful person.

    In my situation there was nothing about staying which helped, because he was too invested in the way he saw things, and where he was in his life at the time. He was not interested in budging one bit.

    One thing you can feel comforted by is that I believe these situations have a way of working towards their own conclusion, so you could always just go with the tide. Having a sense of boundaries is an extremely calming thing, but whether or not you can enforce them in a toxic situation is another matter.

    x



  28.  #28Indigo on December 29, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    I was out on a date tonight and I just found myself thinking of D again. Praying for him, feeling that little corner of my heart which is only for him. I am doing my best.

    C makes me forget about him for a while. But he is never gone.

    D is too special. He means too much. I continue on with my life but it’s as though he’s always there.



  29.  #29April Rose on December 29, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    Indigo,

    It can happen in a relationship dynamic that “the woman is more bonded to the man than he to her”. It said exactly this in my relationship compatibility report from Carol Allen.
    The energetic bonds of this nature can feel particularly strong. They make take longer than usual to diminish.



  30.  #30sophie on December 29, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    ((((((((Indigo))))))) I am just hugging because there are no words xxx

    Yes – the not budging one bit – there is that – and that leaves us nowhere – it leaves me feeling like a small, frustrated child towered over by an all powerful adult actually – I can bring awareness to that – I can keep reminding myself I am an adult and my feelings are important xxx I really want to take my focus away from him it’s very draining! 🙂 xx



  31.  #31sophie on December 29, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    April Rose – I just actually did a April Rose!!! in my head – I’ve been wondering how you are? 🙂 xx



  32.  #32sophie on December 29, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    Ahh I’ve just seen your update on the other blog x that feels great to read! xxx



  33.  #33Cris on December 29, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    amazing event!!
    happy new year to all



  34.  #34prplpsn28 on December 29, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    Signing in. “Hi” everyone!



  35.  #35Luzydel on December 29, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    I really feel humiliated and disrespected when someone “dumps” me over text. Really? am I really that scary that a normal conversation cannot happen?

    I feel so frustrated and I hate when men try to emotionally manipulate me. Like oh you’re too sensitive, bla bla. fu*k it I have feelings!!!!



  36.  #36Lisa on December 29, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    @purple HI!!! <3

    @ Sophie {{{{hugs}}}

    @ Indigo that has been that way with me with "M"… still love for him, still miss him and the great times we shared…. only difference in 5.5 mos not contact… which might be the thing I've needed… to get over him…

    Ok wow "D" so far is amazing! He is consistent in his contact and communications with me.. he is open with his feelings, and yet, still he isn't in front of me yet… but says that he will be here on the 7th…

    Ok so "G" comes in this week… pretty sure he is too old for me…. but says I'm the most interesting women he has met in a long, long time…

    "MR" and "MA" come into the picture… not the same names.. just same letter…. confusing huh? Here is the thing they are both standing side by side talking to me and flirting and they both ask me out one after the other…. ( they are not friends) "MA" ask and the "MR" ask me b/c he heard "MA" ask me and then jumped in and ask me right away…. I knew MR was already going to ask me….it was fun having the competition thing going on….

    I'm kind of in a swirl now….. dry spell… crying yesterday all day… feeling down and purging and all of the sudden last night the sky opens up….

    it was freeing seeing "S" last night dancing and no feeling anything AT all about him…no left overs there…. matter of fact… I felt very clear I have no desire to go back with that situation…

    It was fun though being feminine and watching how men react to that…. and feeling safe at the same time….feeling very secure with myself…. and seeing how my boundaries really do emit from me…. even dancing alone and being my sensual self…. it felt GOOD…

    I feel so happy…. free… and lit up…

    OXOXOXO



  37.  #37Lisa on December 29, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    @Luzydel ohh 🙁 I’m sorry I thought you had a ring? Love on yourself… {{{{{ HUGS}}}



  38.  #38Tereana on December 29, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    Alright, I can’t see all the comments on my phone, for some reason. So I can’t remember what I’ve posted.

    Anyway, I feel more like “myself” today. It is amazing how energies can shift. And not everything is perfect, of course. But it felt great that one girl at work today really noticed a lot of things about me that feel like they are salient traits I have that are positive (creativity, organization, being polite). Essentially, my best qualities. She is by no means a supervisor, but it just felt good to be “seen.” And admired. She called me a “man of all trades” and I laughed and said, “yes, except I’m a woman!”



  39.  #39Tereana on December 29, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    Emerson – yay! Day off!

    (The comments just appeared for me)

    I have been working a bunch and I am taking a day off to get some things done for myself, including some work, so that I can end the year feeling relaxed and together, not stressed and overworked.

    And I feel excited to send the letter tomorrow :). It is basically a “text message” by mail. This is why I think of it as an “art project.” Because writing a letter was basically the original text message.” Only it took a lot more time & effort to compose. Holding a letter or card in your hand is a different experience than sending or receiving a text. Or an email also. What’s funny, to me, is that I COULD write a whole bunch. I could have filled the card with all kinds of rambling thoughts. Instead, I just wanted to write this short, quick phrase. It really shows the empty space around it. It is minimal but substantial (I think). And also, as I said, just for fun.

    And now I feel so tired. Time for sleep…



  40.  #40prplpsn28 on December 29, 2013 at 10:41 pm

    I’m breaking things off with H 🙁 I can’t continue feeling like we just are not on the same page. And the fact that he won’t talk about things. He made a comment to my daughter over the wknd that kinda confirms this. 2+ yrs is enough of feeling like things are not progressing. He’s a good guy, we just aren’t in the same place with what we want. Feeling very disappointed.



  41.  #41janie baby on December 30, 2013 at 1:50 am

    hi everyone.
    i haven’t posted in a while.. but i used to post alot about my relationship so i thought i’d update.
    we broke up.
    i basically found out he was a full blown psychopath after 3 years. The past six months were going downhill but i just figured we were too young (23) and that when we were older and more mature maybe we’d get back together again. When I suspected something was up i thought hmm if anything he’s probably had a one night stand and cheated but he would act like i was crazy and seem offended that i would say that.
    a few weeks ago i found out crazy lies. he had a separate girlfriend that he also called his soul mate and said the same things he said to me “wanted to marry her ” etc. he was with this girlfriend from may til september and she did not know about me. he mentioned me saying “fyi i have this crazy ex gf who is a coke addict” (i’ve never tried cocaine…)
    other lies the past couple months he’s been dating a 33 year old stripper..
    other little lies i found out he told about me. and once i found out what a horrible person and liar he was, i just realized how he really emotionally abused me, gaslighted me, etcetera.

    I am hurt by the cheating but I feel most betrayed because I considered him my best friend. I always thought no matter what happened we’d always be friends even if we broke up. I couldn’t believe someon I thought I knew so well and I considered my best friend would do this to me.

    Any sirens have any suggestions on how to move on after this?

    I’m so scared to trust and be hurt again. It’s been 4 years of him in my life. I haven’t responded to his texts in 2 weeks. and he stopped reaching out. which is good…

    i just feel so sad that i cared so much and he doesn’t care about anyone but himself because he is a psychopath..

    I don’t know how to even proceed or trust men after this.



  42.  #42Femininewoman on December 30, 2013 at 3:13 am

    Lisa if it were me and MA and MR standing side by side asking me out I would not put any psychic energy into it. I would frankly take it that it was their masculine competitiveness kicking in between each other. Not about me. I might be wrong, yet if I were you I would take my mind off them and give them a lot of space to see what they do. Men are about competition.



  43.  #43Femininewoman on December 30, 2013 at 3:14 am

    Or maybe better, men are about winning.



  44.  #44Femininewoman on December 30, 2013 at 3:16 am

    Hi Luzydel. What’s happening with you?



  45.  #45April Rose on December 30, 2013 at 7:15 am

    Hi Sophie,

    I feel all warm, like a glass of christmas sherry, that you thought of me.
    Hugs to you.



  46.  #46April Rose on December 30, 2013 at 7:15 am

    I wonder if Shannon saw my posting to her on the previous thread.
    Might be worth re-posting here.



  47.  #47April Rose on December 30, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Shannon,

    Hugs to you. I know exacly how this feels.

    Six months ago I wrote on here how disconnected and helpless I was feeling. The man I lived with did not communicate with me. I knew only the experience of his withdrawal.

    Hard as it was (and because I had nowhere else to go) I agreed to let myself feel the feelings of helplessness in his presence. Yes, it was painful. And no, he did not respond.

    I too thought I was being punished.

    I continued to feel my feelings. Some days were almost unbearably bleak. I wrote on this blog that I had gone out to a party and stayed out overnight, and that he was unaware that I had even gone out!

    It was remarked by ladies on here that, far from rowing the relationship boat, he wasn’t even in the boat.

    I felt frightened, angry, out of control.

    Yet I stayed in the house. And I stayed with myself and my feelings. I began to focus on my contribution to the world, my creativity. I took my attention away from the dynamic between us, and deliberately ‘forgot’ about him.

    I kept myself ‘open’. So that if he suddenly wanted to connect, I was available. I did not punish him in return.

    Most importantly, I let him know I appreciated what he did (if he washed the dishes or made me a cup of tea or anything at all). I smiled at him genuinely.

    Six months on, he has started telling me how much he loves my smile. He is becoming much warmer.

    Also, I have very little money, and I let him know how vulnerable this feels. I also let him know how much I appreciate it when he shops for food or takes me out for lunch. He does this now without question.
    I think it must be an easy way for him to ‘give’ to me.

    So, vulnerability has worked for me. Feeling my feelings has worked for me, and showing appreciation has really worked too.

    Thing was, it was *slow* to happen. It did not happen overnight.
    I stayed with ME, kept working Rori’s tools and listening to the programs, writing on the blog. I had no expectations of him. I thought all was lost.

    Here is my recommended formula:
    “I don’t want to feel disconnected. It makes me happy when we can chat or laugh together” (add big hopeful, happy smile).
    Men love to be with a happy woman. Or one who is learning to make herself happy. And they particularly enjoy it when we smile because of them.

    I want you to be happy, Shannon. For your sake, and your daughter’s. Let her happiness (for example when you tickle her awake) become infectious to you.

    Sending encouraging hugs and smiles.



  48.  #48Linda on December 30, 2013 at 8:34 am

    I am thankful for this community..

    THe different voices and experience help so much. I dont feel like I am on an island.

    I feel like I have been living on a planet that is a mirror of what most of us ladies live. We all seem to find this blog because of frustration or hurt or despair because we love and want a man and want him to step up, call, include us in his life all the way, talking about the future all of it and they arent.

    The relationship that I lived thru this last year with the man I called FavoriteCD was like a role reversal relationship. So many of the things that this blog helps us understand that we do to drive a man away is exactly what I lived thru and it eventually over time it drove me away. Basically he had so many unspoken “expectations” that when I did not meet them he would blow up on me. Where I was once so open and felt loving and safe I began to feel guarded.. and over the years time I completely shut down emotionally . There was hardly ever a time where there was not some type of drama stirred up (from outside or from within the relationship) and the dust just fromof them always was in the filled my lungs. I never felt like I could take a deep breath and just relax and “enjoy” him or us.

    He truly is a good guy. He is honest, giving, affectionate, compassionate, loving, handsome, attentive, chiverous, gentlemanly, a hard worker, wonderful father, family man awesome lover and shares my same religous faith. Wow what a list!!

    Emotionally he is a boy man. He is insecure, angry, wounded, needy, clingy, manipulative, demanding, ultra sensitive, gives with “strings”, pouty, sulks, plays games, punishes, an emotional bully and controlling. i not sure what drives all this in him but that NOT my job to FIX him. Even though he offered more than once to go to anger management, see a counsellor, do anything to make it better… he did’nt.

    This relationship did not feel like love though there were many parts of it were very enjoyable. I was not easy. Sometimes I felt treasured, sometimes I felt like he was trying to swallow me up.. ingest me and I would disappear. Tension arose for me in lots of areas. I lost the ability to “melt” .I simply did not feel safe. I guess after a year I felt like dog whos owner was loving and giving but would then would kick it if he did not do what he wanted. At first the dog loves the owner is so glad to see him.. wants to snuggle close.. but after time keeps decides to keep its and cowers in fear. (and the owner wonders why it does not act like it used to)?? !!I

    Sirens, we are the prize. Men know that. Even he acknowledges that I was and still am. Even with all this.. I get to CHOOSE. I dont have to settle. I feel love for him… but I am not “in love” with him.

    This community has helped me grow so much. I would not have had the strength to walk away and the times I stayed.. I learned. I feel greatful.. not piney, sad yes, some sense of loss, but relief. I explored and re-explored this and it is simply not the relationship that is good for me.

    I am sharing because maybe it will help one of you beautiful sirens. xoxo



  49.  #49Linda on December 30, 2013 at 8:37 am

    April rose… awesome!! How helpful this is to me!

    xo



  50.  #50Indigo on December 30, 2013 at 8:45 am

    Thank you for the hugs Sophie xxx



  51.  #51Indigo on December 30, 2013 at 8:46 am

    ((((purple))))

    There are other men out there who want to step up.



  52.  #52Indigo on December 30, 2013 at 8:48 am

    (((Janie baby)))

    There is only one way to move on and that is carefully, clearly and heaping lots of love onto yourself.



  53.  #53Amber on December 30, 2013 at 9:13 am

    I’m chevking in here to make sure i dont miss amytjing but also assuming we’re moving to the next blog. Cheers Sirens, it’s almiat 2014!



  54.  #54Emerson on December 30, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    Where is Mercedes?



  55.  #55Tereana on December 31, 2013 at 10:06 pm

    Janie Baby – I just saw your post. That is awful! At least you found out now, rather than later. But there is never a good time. And this is NOT because of you. He is maybe not a paychopath, but sounds like a narcissist and a sociopath. These people don’t have a way to relate to human emotions except to control them in others. This is not your fault and you did not “attract” this as a mirror of yourself.

    But it’s good that you haven’t texted back. Since you have listed the veil you can now step back and see how you let yourself believe him – because you wanted to. You wanted love. And some people are unscrupulous. But you just have to know he is not everybody. Lean on your friends. Trust yourself. Cry it out. Whatever you need to do.

    A friend of mine was cheated on massive by her boyfriend – who was also a psychologist!! And she was thrown by it, but the next guy she met treated her great, drove the relationship, he’s an amazing guy and they’re a great couple. I am sure that they will get married. But there’s no rush for them, and none for you either.

    Still. It’s a new year. A fresh start. Get your ok Cupid profile up and start circular dating, girl!! : )



  56.  #56Vivian Rickerson on January 29, 2014 at 5:10 am

    I’m requesting to cancel this membership. Initially, I was ordering a book to be mailed to me, but when the cd’s started arriving, I just decided to keep them instead. However, nothing at this time has been going like you say it’s supposed to therefore I must cancel, and I do not want to have any more deductions from my account. I tried looking for a number for a customer service in the contact Rori section nut no such luck there either.
    Regards
    Vivian R.



  57.  #57Rori Raye on January 29, 2014 at 9:33 am

    Vivian – werite support@havetherelationshipyouwant.com – and all the FAQ and info on programs is on the http://www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com site. Love, Rori