How To Be The Cool Girl – Video!

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Hi, you see me leaning back here…..and I was reading something or watching a podcast the other day about what is a cool girl?

So – What is a cool girl?

…And it was a man speaking about it, a relationship coach, and he got it right as far as I’m concerned that it’s a woman without drama, who doesn’t lean on a man whenever he does something wrong…

Who doesn’t keep pointing out faults.

Who doesn’t make a big deal about mistakes. That, that is cool. But what if you’re not like that? And who of us is like that? Well, why are we not like that? And also, why does it seem like the wrong thing to be cool?

Because being cool sounds like it doesn’t, Uh, mean being passionate or being excited or being wanting something or being having fun or being excitable or being in love or being an activist or really caring.

How can you be cool and have all that fire going through you? So I tend to want to call this image of being a cool girl that men like simply a woman who doesn’t start fights.

A woman who prefers to work something through rather than defend, and who would like her man to not be defensive. Pretty simple.

We all want that, right? So not doing drama, what exactly does that mean? Most people confuse drama and emotions, and it’s not that at all.

So think of it this way. Your emotions. If you express them, I feel sad, I feel mad, I feel glad, I feel happy, I feel terrified, I feel so anxious, I feel scared, I feel sketchy, I feel tingly.

That’s emotion.

Why aren’t you doing that? That makes me so upset! I just…” That’s drama.

Okay, how do you change those two things.

Well, I’m feeling so upset, I’m just crying, is emotions. Right?

But as soon as I drag a situation or you into it, I make it drama.

Why did that happen? Why did you do it that way?

Why did you have to say that? If that hadn’t happened… I’m so upset with them for…

That becomes drama because now you’re inviting somebody else into starting it.

Now we are involving blame. Now we’re trying to find fault.

Now we’re trying to fix. Now we are in our masculine energy of trying to make sense, and order, and organization, out of this emotional feeling that we have.

So if I can be emotional, how can I be cool?

It’s because I am cool about expressing my emotions, and I can stomp around and go, ugh, as opposed to, you did that, or why did you do that, which involves a reaction on his part of either being super chill and going, wait a minute, I can hear how upset you are, (which would be an awesome man,) or wait a minute, I didn’t do that, I didn’t do that, and responding and then you’re off on a fight.

Most of us let things go.

Let our emotions go without being in touch with them for such a long time that we end up blaming and bursting like a play volcano instead of simply being able to vomit out the feeling.

It’s a very different thing to just have it come up while you’re leaning back and feeling sad and feeling really angry, than to put it on somebody else or to try to make sense of it.

Emotions don’t make sense.

They’re triggered. They come from a magic place in our backgrounds.

They come from someplace in our subconscious and they’re powerful.

They’re energetic.

They’re important.

And trying to make sense of it is just man’s masculine way of trying to, again, handle feminine energy, which is emotional, and try to make sense of it.

So don’t do it!

Let’s not fall into that trap of trying to organize our emotions, or make sense of them, or explain them.

Just feel them, and express them.

That is a cool girl.

That’s what I believe is a cool girl.

So, if you are encountering a man… and all men like cool girls, because nobody wants to be told they’re wrong and nobody wants to be having the blame for any circumstance that makes you feel unhappy, because most men want you to feel happy…

So, if you’re feeling like making masculine energy sense out of your feelings, catch that, and instead say, Wow, I’m feeling…

And let the feeling out and state it as it is, without trying to make sense or an explanation of it.

And you will be a cool girl.

And you will not have fights like other people have.

You will instead have deep emotional connection.

Love, Rori

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