How To Breed Happiness, Even If You Feel Hurt…

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Have you ever been in pain over a relationship, and a friend comes along and tells you to “relax” – and that just sounds to you like “suck it up” – or some other dismissive, easy thing for them to say?

I’ve always felt even worse when someone says something like that, and so my work has always been about NOT denying your pain – but experiencing it, working with it, accepting it, feeling it, loving it, embracing it – and moving through it.

That’s why, when I develop a Tool that has anything to do with “positive thinking,” I want you to know how it fits in to my whole Rori Raye methods and techniques.

In this Tool – I want to show you a way to work with “Positive” and “Happy” thoughts that’s not meant for you to RESIST your pain – but to build, amplify, grow – and BREED more positive and Happy thoughts and feelings. So…

Ever heard that phrase – “No pain no gain”? As frustrating and pretty much obnoxious as that sounds – it’s true in a way – because on your road to Happy Ever After, whenever you move forward in your mind, heart, spirit, relationship and life, there are always Growing Pains.

It’s how we deal with the growing pains that makes all the difference about what happens next – and we can learn to USE even pain to help us get what we want.

If we’re used to pain in Love, then when we’re confronted with happiness, our minds get scared – it’s like happiness “does not compute.” And our scared minds then do what’s automatic for them – they bounce us back into pain.

So this is our experience: Pain breeds more pain. Happiness bounces us back into pain. Therefore, we start to feel and believe that happiness is random, and pain is the constant in our lives.

Does this sound familiar? Do you see yourself repeating the same kinds of patterns – being attracted to the same kind of man, getting involved too quickly, focusing on one man instead of on your own desires for yourself, focusing on your man instead of your own passion for your own life, always expecting the “other shoe to drop” and hurt to show it’s ugly face again?

Well – here’s the missing piece: If pain breeds more pain – then doesn’t it make sense that happiness would actually breed more HAPPINESS?

So why is it we Bounce into pain?

There are lots of reasons for the Bounce (I have a great section on Bouncing in my Reconnect Your Relationship program), and I’ll talk about and give you Tools to help for all of them in this blog, but for now, let’s do a simple Tool to undo the Bouncing – BREED HAPPINESS:

1. Write this down: Happiness makes more happiness. Happiness is the child of happiness. Therefore, I am now in the business of making more happiness for myself.

2. Read this to yourself every day – many, many times a day if you can.

3. Now do this: Start noticing where your mind is at any given moment. Notice how your body is feeling. If there’s a tension and a painful thought happening, do nothing. Ignore it. Use my Being Present Tools from all my programs (I’ll have more and more for you here and in my eLetters…) to gently redirect your energy to what’s going on around you – trees, flowers, books, the carpet, the furniture…

4. If a Happy thought shows up, if you notice a Happy feeling in your body – MARK IT. ( Again, there’ll be more Tools on how to Mark this – this is starter one here to get you the bigger picture first…), so …Mark your Happy thought by Writing It Down. Get out your Happy Thought journal and just write it down.

5. If you notice that writing down this happy thought gets you to ANOTHER happy thought…notice if you’re smiling, or laughing, or that your shoulders suddenly relax and your throat loosens up…write that down, too.

6. If pain or a painful thought shows up (remember the Bounce is going to continue to happen – it’s what you DO with it that counts…) Then write THIS down: “Pain is useful to me! It’s useful because it helps me keep myself On Track to my Happiness!”

7. Think of EVERYTHING as a Tool. Everything, no matter how it feels to you, looks to you, or what ANYONE says to you about it can be USED. You can use anything and everything that happens, in some way, no matter how small, to keep you on your rightful track to your very own, all-the-time Happy Ever After – which can start for you this very moment!

This is the starter Tool…next – Soap Bubbles… Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Stacey on September 16, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    I love you Rori. Your tools and programs and your uplifting spirit have turned my whole life around. I am so much more the woman I’ve always wanted to be. Thank you for teaching me to believe my dreams can come true. It was your belief first that helped me believe for myself. !!!!!

  2.  #2Heather on September 17, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    Hi Rori, I would also like to say thank you so much for all your tools and programs! I have found them so helpful in in my life.