How To Confidently Date A Dozen Men

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This is a great article by Natalina Love, who’s coaching Siren island this week – don’t miss her!

Her definition of “dating” is awesome (I put it in red) – I’m going to use it often…

By Natalina Love

Have you ever felt confused about how long to wait for a man to commit?

Have you ever felt frustrated with relationship timeline uncertainty?

As a coach, I hear a lot of women tell me that they wouldn’t dare, or at the very least they feel uneasy about seeing more than one man at the same time, and yet our mothers, grandmothers,
great grandmothers, great great grandmothers and their mothers have been savvy in the art of
entertaining the interests of many men.

So what makes it such a taboo for us to say yes to a coffee date with one man when another man tells us they want to see us again?

What is it that makes us jump into exclusivity? The answer can be found in our definition of dating.

Dating is all about ‘level one’ getting to know you experiences. It’s getting to know men, and it’s getting to know yourself in the presence of men and the world.

Dating is where you get to explore without expectation and you can even have marriage be “on the table” yet still be 100% just dating.

The night before my husband got down on one knee, he was asking me all kinds of questions about how I saw marriage, family, and my personal goals. He ended that call by asking me out to a casual breakfast the next morning.

It was nice and I felt really happy, and yet, all of this, up until he proposed and I said yes, was still “just dating”.

Is it possible to know the exact moment your man gets serious about you?

Let’s play with the idea that you could get inside a man’s mind and pull out the information you wanted.

How does that feel?

Imagine your man in front of you, as you look into his eyes – you are able to search and find whatever information you want.

“Will he call tonight?”
“Is he seeing another woman?”
“Does he really like me?”
“How can I get him to…?”
“Will we ever get married?”

While you are flipping through the search engine of his mind, I want you to notice your body.

Are your shoulders tight? Are you leaning forward? Is your breathe shallow?

As I sat here and typed, even though I could feel the tension all over my body, it was as if I was completely disconnected from it.

Okay, now let yourself focus on your body, your breathe, unfolding the tension in your neck, back, shoulders, arms, eyes, wrists… put the attention back on yourself.

What if you could cut out all the anxiety of not knowing where your relationship was going?

Imagine what it would be like if you didn’t need to know what a man was thinking in order to have and enjoy the relationship you intend to have.

Courtship is what I consider to be “serious dating” where both parties have have both personally determined their own life and relationship goals and have shared their long term intentions of the relationship they intend to have.

If your relationship is a courtship you will have discussed exclusivity with one another, but more specifically you will also be on the same page about how soon marriage, children, and other family planning needs will be met and addressed.

In my book, courtship generally means that you already have the ring on your hand, literally, a golden date to share and celebrate how you wish in your datebook, along with a reason to have a few significant conversations with your loved ones.

Courtship is the preface to merging two families, and it is not intended to be a mystery. If you don’t know where your man is, he was just a date.

Ideally, you won’t ever stop dating.

Once you’ve found true love and the commitment you want, your definition of dating will just evolve, as most everything in life does, it should.

Dating, in all of it’s forms is a tool to help you keep your energy fresh and your vibe centered in your femininity.

Courtship is about the commitment and recommitment you make to the relationship you want.

You can be courting yourself, and let your “boy-energy” champion your relationship intentions by practicing your feeling messages, learning to share your heart and mind,

When you feel the tension and anxiety raise concerns in your mind and heart, I want you to go back to your personal definition and intention for dating.

Dating is a tool to help us circulate energy. It can be as simple as a moment in the checkout line at the grocery, or as long and detailed as you like for it to be, and when it’s no longer fun, you’ll have another piece of information to grow with.

Love, Natalina

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  1.  #1Femininewoman on November 10, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Courtship is about the commitment and recommitment you make to the relationship you want.

    Great reminder