How To Attract A Man & Let Him Take Care Of You – Even In A Parking Lot

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So I’m at Trader Joes.  I’m in the parking lot, I’ve just load the groceries into my trunk, and I’m deciding what to do with the empty cart. 

I really want to just leave it there, I’m tired, but I take the handle and start across the lot to put it with the other carts.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see two men walking from their car toward the market, walking almost directly to me on their way…and I have an empty cart in my hands.

For an instant, I consider that they’d take the cart from me.  Either use it themselves, or just take it for me to where the carts are supposed to hang out.

And then I blink.  I go back to my overachieving, “I don’t need anyone” stance, and I don’t smile at them, try to get their attention, or plain out even ask them.  As though I’m saying “I don’t want to ask anyone for anything.” 

I’m very, very aware of how this is going on in me, as I roll the cart back to where it belongs.  I’m very aware of how I avoided this moment that’s a for-sure Rori Raye moment.

This is how I would have liked it to go: 

  1. I assume that every man on the planet wants to help me, because, just like every woman, I’m adorable.
  2. I then see, walking smack toward me, not one man, but two.  Tall, capable, seemingly decent men.
  3. I go into the Rori Raye Dance Position, smile, look right at the men, and assume they will stop talking with each other and instantly look over at me.
  4. I assume that the moment they see me, they will smile back.
  5. I assume that they will either see my empty cart and want to walk to me and do something with the cart (either take it to use it, or take it to save me a trip) OR, if they are clueless, that I will speak up –  Not in a “helpful to them” way like this: “Would you like this cart?”  but like this:  “Hi.” And then..
  6. I assume that they will say “Hi” back, and either offer to take the cart, OR I’ll speak up again:
    Again, not “Would you like this cart?” – but in a flirty way, like: “I’d love to hand off this cart,” or “It’d feel great if you’d park this cart for me…”

And whoa – that’s a heck of a lot, isn’t it?

And yet – that’s the way these things go once you actually start with the #1 on the list here:  Assuming you’re adorable and that every man knows it – even if you’re not his “type” or his “one.

And not because I would have been aggressive, or assertive, or tried to get a man to do something for me.  No, not coming from Masculine energy, but in simply offering a man an opportunity to do something for me. Which is, in fact, what a man lives for.  Some men don’t know it, but that’s what he lives for – to serve YOU.

Okay – so this sounds anti-feminist, but it’s not.  It’s the complete reverse – it’s totally about strong femininity.  It’s not at all about getting a man to “take care of you” – it’s about letting down your guard and letting a man Connect with you.

Another important thing here is that I took this moment – where I wish I’d practiced my own Tools instead of stepping up to the plate because I didn’t want to open myself up and appear weak or demanding –  and got over it real quick. 

I wrote it down here.  I broke down the moments that I could do differently next time.  And I shared it with you.

It’s tiny little moments like these that turn into life-changing shifts.  One day you decide to stop doing things for yourself just because you can, and allow a man to do it for you. 

One day you stop beating yourself up for everything and start loving your imperfections and mistakes…and from there – it’s coasting all the way to Happy Ever After. 

Love – and remember to let go of the empty shopping cart to the first man you see – Rori

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  1.  #1Tina on February 9, 2010 at 11:22 pm