How To Stay Cool While He’s Taking His Time “Closing The Deal” On Your Relationship

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The Question:

Hi Rori, its so hard though to play the waiting game for me… I have not heard from him since last Thursday, when he called to talk about a business thing. I did send him a text last night because I left my nice watch at his house and I wanted to make sure he found it and kept it for me. I tried to be very friendly, laid back and not needy etc…Here is what I wrote to him…

“Hi, Hope you had a nice weekend w/ all the kiddos…Get any biking in? I had aunts/uncles/cousins-lots of sun/boating/skiing/tubing and of course floaty chairs…. I think I left my watch w u…can you keep it for me-no pawning -Thanks…miss ya Batman (he calls me Batgirl and I call him Batman)

It is typicalfor him to get into his “crazy work/life mode” and disappear for a while….I am hoping it will be a shorter while…I am working on the “bunny rabbit” attitude and assuming that he is already mine outlook…just wish he would reach out to me… He does not have his kids next weekend.

Hoping he will want to see me. Also been practicing my responses to him next time I am with him… such as “Wyatt, all you need to do is let me know you want to be with me and I am only yours – but until then I have to go on with my life…btw my ring size is 6 ¾ (big smile)…”

Do I say anything about how happy we both would be together? And you also said when he gets all formal (scared and skiddish) what should I do then? He was that way the next morning when he switched into “go mode”. One thing I thought about saying was something like…u know it feels really good when we are so close/intimate and then when there is no contact/interaction between us…for long periods of time…it makes me feel really icky…what can we do about that?

Also continuing to circle date – had Jake up here yesterday …he is not ‘the one’ but awesome to look at (Gregory Peck look a like)…Rose”

My Answer:

Rose…don’t even TALK about the relationship.

Your job here is to be fun, light, YOU, happy and allow him to feel good about being with you every moment he’s with you.

If you pressure him even a little, he’ll run.

Just DO exactly what you say here –bunny rabbit, he’s yours, you keep dating other men – and don’t TALK about it…

If he’s a disappearing guy – he just is.

He compartmentalizes.

If he figures everything’s fine – he figures you’re just like him and don’t need any more ‘contact’ than he does.

You just observe.

Give it some time and see what he does, what his pattern is, and how COOL you can be just having him in your life, no issues.

After another couple of weeks, if you can get a Siren Circle Private Coach, she’ll help you put together some words for this.

Until he ASKS for exclusivity – what you say about your needs and desires all comes from what YOU want!

And when he does ask for exclusivity – you get to say something like:

“I feel like you’re mine already, and I’m yours, and yet I feel concerned that we’re not on the same page about some things. For example – I’m just a girl here, and I’m an emotional creature, and I need lots of contact – phone, text, email, in person, touching, words of love if we’re going to be a “couple” – perhaps more than seems reasonable…so how would you like to negotiate that?”

Love, Rori

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