How To Talk To A Man On The Phone

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One of the most useless things we women do is talk about business on the phone at night with a man we’d like to love.

Try this instead.

He calls, the phone rings, you pick up, say “Hi.”

His voice is on the other end. “Hi,” he says.

“Oh,” you say, “It feels so good to hear your voice.” Notice the word feel in there.

He says, “Oh…….Yeah, it’s great to hear yours, too,” (or something like that.)


If he doesn’t speak, you don’t speak.

But you do some other important things. Put down the kitchen stuff, stop puttering in your office, pick up the kitty, and settle down into a soft chair, kitty on your lap. (If you don’t have an accommodating cat, use a pillow, a stuffed animal, or your own leg – you’ll need it to pet something.)

He says “So, how was your day…?”

This is the tricky question. And you don’t have to answer it the way you think you need to.
Instead of “Oh, it was a little hectic at the office, so much stuff going on, but it was a good day….etc.”

Try: “Oh, I felt so overwhelmed with all the paperwork,” or “It felt like it flew by, I felt so caught up in how fast the sales were flashing across my screen,” or “I feel so great being home, all curled up on this chair with the kitty in my lap. Oh, she feels so soft. I can feel her purr.” (Notice more feeling messages.)

With your consciousness in your body, your feelings, your heart, and out of your head, business, facts and logic, your intuition will now kick in. You’ll be able to sense when the conversation runs out of steam.

You’ll be able to tell when he’s had enough phone time. (Though, if you share your feelings in the GoodNight Talk style, he might just suggest he jump in the car and come over just then.)

You’ll be able to say “I feel so relaxed. I feel like I could just drift off here with the cat,” and he’ll say “Sweet dreams” instead of “Well, I’ve got to go now.”

The GoodNight Talk is an example of how to talk from your feeling state. If we women want it all, we can have it. CEO by day, object of passionate desire by night. Who wouldn’t want that?

Feelings will get you everything. Thinking will get you half.

Learn to talk from your heart, and you’ll pull in men who want to touch your heart with their own.

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1alias girl on October 10, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    this post brought tears to my eyes. just to be in touch with being soft and girlie on the outside. it feels so good after years of being tough. and men respond so differently to me now. i truly am becoming a Modern Siren!! i feel delicious!

  2.  #2dorothea on April 16, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    cute! I was reading this and then he called just as i finished reading it. by the end of the conversation he was trying to walk across town to come here (he’s NEVER done this).

    Rori, I love you for the power you have helped me discover within myself. I would like to buy you a cupcake or coffee or falafael or cocktail if you ever come to Denver.

  3.  #3Sylvia on August 3, 2011 at 1:35 am

    Genius! It worked. the part about “It feels good to hear your voice”.

  4.  #4Jamie on October 17, 2012 at 12:07 am

    I think I’m going to try this because I just started back dating and us unsure of how to talk to men