If You’re Feeling Afraid He’s Going To Pull the Rug Out From Under You Once You Let Him In…

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Hi, I’m out here in my yard and it is freezing cold. There’s ice everywhere. You can see on the ground. It’s just sprinkly. It feels like you’re kind of walking on crunchy ice cubes.

Oh, there’s a bunny!

Hi, sweetheart. Oh…

…oh, that was such an amazing experience. Usually they’re way too fast. He wasn’t even afraid of me. Oh, I’m glad my dog is not out here.

He would have, Zeke would have chased him.

Anyway, so this is about what is it really fast about slipping and sliding on ice. I am not afraid of the cold, I love the cold. Uh, I just want to take care when Zeke is out that I don’t let him out longer than he should be out.

But for me, It’s a slippery sliding on ice that scares me.

I’ve ice skated and so many people skate on ice…And my husband isn’t afraid to go out, afraid to be falling down on ice or slipping on ice.

And some of it is shoes, but I’ve been in cleats and still felt the same. So what is it like in a relationship if you feel like you’re gonna slip or slide right?

It is that feeling that.

You’ll let go for a minute and you’ll be there with him and you’ll let yourself sort of land on him with him and it’ll just slip away from you.

He’ll just slip out. It’s like somebody pulling the rug out from under you as a joke or just as who they are. And how can you find clues that that’s going to happen?

I keep thinking that that’s going to happen because that is my background and my experience. Is it yours?

That somebody’s going to pull the rug out from under you? That they’re just going to disappear? And sometimes that happens. Well, I probably attracted men like that because I expected it and because that was what I was comfortable with.

So maybe that’s part of your pattern also. But now I’ve got a guy who sticks to me. He’s there. He’s like, Stuck on the floor like he’s got a good rug pad.

He’s not going anywhere. It’s not slipping or sliding away for me and The sensation of that is, it’s so invigorating. It’s so empowering because it allows me to overcome the slip slidy feel.

But what if you’re stuck with a guy who’s constantly making you feel like whatever you say, whatever you do, Whatever you do, you can’t tell the truth.

You can’t express what’s bothering you. You can’t share things or confidences. And if it goes bad, you can’t tell him later that you need some help with this working out better in the relationship.

Now I can say all those things to my husband and he goes, Oh, thank you for telling me. And I don’t want to do that. I want to be, you know, really good for you.

I want to hear you. I want to be there for you because that’s who he is.

That’s what he wants.

So you want a guy. where you can basically speak what it is you need, what you want, and have him work it out so that you get it.

But the slip slidy feeling never goes away.

The fear doesn’t go away, right? It feels like, um, It feels like you could never put your foot down solid and maybe your body feels like that.

Dealing with fear and anxiety is no fun…and it causes us to do stuff in our heads and then out in the world that create tension in our atmosphere – in the atmosphere around us.

Learning to tell the truth of what you’re experiencing and feeling as you enter into the sacred and monumentally challenging space of a romantic relationship is the most powerful emotional cleanser, system fortifier, and builder of self-confidence there is.

If you’d like help with any of this, join me and the Siren School coach team on The Siren Island Course & Official Community – there’s SO much available to you on Siren Island, and bonus after bonus as you grow stronger, more skilled, and more Siren throughout your journey on The Island: 

Love, Rori

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