Is Your Man A Drama Queen?

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Some people, some men are like “drain pipes.” Like “sponges.”
 
They sponge up your energy and send it down their drain pipe.
 
You can feel the “sucking” happening.
 
Telling them this “turns you off” doesn’t really help unless they have a stronger center and can adjust and fix it in themselves.
 
More often, it’s a “narcissistic” quality that doesn’t go away.
 
You can experience this clearly with someone who’s a “narcissistic conversationalist.”
 
This looks like: they hardly know you’re there. You’re like a backboard for them.
 
They talk and talk. And if they listen, it’s out of politeness, they aren’t really hearing, taking in or caring.
 
This can be completely independent of how they are as people.
 
A completely caring, lovely man can be a narcissistic conversationalist.
 
AND, a nice man can be a “drama queen.”
The way to work through these kinds of men is to NOT work through them, but to Circular Date through them as you experience better-feeling men.
 
Love, Rori
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1 Comments

  1.  #1Indigo on February 17, 2018 at 10:38 am

    “They talk and talk. And if they listen, it’s out of politeness, they aren’t really hearing, taking in or caring.
    This can be completely independent of how they are as people.
    A completely caring, lovely man can be a narcissistic conversationalist.
    AND, a nice man can be a “drama queen.”
    The way to work through these kinds of men is to NOT work through them, but to Circular Date through them as you experience better-feeling men.”

    This. This describes my most recent ex-boyfriend. And that is why I broke up with him. We are still friends, and I can still see him and spend time with him and care for him and receive from him, while being open to other men, because I know he is not “the one” for me.

    He was a lovely person. Really giving and kind and generous. He adored me. Thought I was so cute and thought I hung the moon. He paid for stuff and was available with his time and effort and he was really romantic.

    BUT, and this was a big but, he was a complete conversational narcissist. And he completely drained me as a result. He would talk and talk to the point of lecturing. He would talk to the point that I would tune out (and I am a good listener). He would hardly require a response from me unless it was to confirm that I had heard him. When I did talk, he would frequently interrupt me and derail the conversation.He would point out his jokes to me and almost insist I laugh at them. He frequently did not accept my “no” when it came to stuff we did together. He would get into the habit of ranting at length about his traumatic childhood and his difficult family. I felt a lot of compassion for him but he would take it too far and offload to me every time we saw each other.
    He was just draining to be around, and I felt a deep and strong sense that he was not right for me. He still does all of these things, but now I no longer have the obligation to him that I had when I was his girlfriend. I can see him when I want to see him and I don’t need to let it affect me. I can enjoy his company and let him do nice things like barbecue or help me with stuff, and we can just be friends.

    I’m so glad Rori wrote about this.