Lady Gaga, Sex and Demolishment

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lady gagaHere’s an excerpt from an article I found online:

Lady Gaga and the death of sex

An erotic breaker of taboos or an asexual copycat? Camille Paglia, America’s foremost cultural critic, demolishes an icon

“…Furthermore, despite showing acres of pallid flesh in the fetish-bondage garb of urban prostitution, Gaga isn’t sexy at all – she’s like a gangly marionette or plasticised android. How could a figure so calculated and artificial, so clinical and strangely antiseptic, so stripped of genuine eroticism have become the icon of her generation? Can it be that Gaga represents the exhausted end of the sexual revolution? In Gaga’s manic miming of persona after persona, over-conceptualised and claustrophobic, we may have reached the limit of an era…”

Here’s the whole article:

And here’s the comment I tried to make on the article:

Sorry – not a big fan of anyone who’s about “demolishing” others.

Critique is one thing, demolishing another.

As far as the “emotionless” label – I’m not an easy “crier” – and yet nearly all of Gaga’s youtube snips move me to tears – especially her singing “Born That Way” with 10 year old Maria onstage in Canada, and her, as herself, on American Idol and in interviews, where – to me – she feels completely sweet and unaffected.

Everyone has their gifts, and she’s using hers and, though she may not be sexy to you – she (to me) is quite fulfilling in the way she is right now.

I look at her and see a young girl not much older than my daughter just starting out, being incredibly successful, touching lots of people, yes, inspiring lots of people, and perhaps developing over time as an artist in new ways.

Let’s see what she does.

Being blessed financially and family-wise doesn’t make you feel any less like a freak if you feel like a freak inside.

In fact – it most often makes it all worse.

Bravo to Gaga for turning it all into something.

Sincerely, Rori Raye


The reason I wanted to post my thoughts on this are that “judging” is so central to most people.

Being a critic makes a living out of it…and it’s a valuable service to us all to help us decide what to pay our money for, what movies to see, and simply find someone out there who feels like we do and get a “heads up.”

I was most interested in the energy behind trying to figure out how Gaga might be about “pretension” rather than authentic – based on her background. I know for sure that what we see in people (and what people see in us when they look at us and even “know us well”) isn’t necessarily the truth of what we feel like inside.

Also – the asexuality of our times as a topic is really front and central here – as men become over-estrogenized through our food and water, and the cultural pressure to be “mechanical” rather than “emotional” pushes us further and further away from ourselves.

Let me know how you feel about all this!

And, yes – I love Lady Gaga.

Love, Rori



  1.  #1Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Bravo Rori, good one on “judgementalism”.

  2.  #2Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 9:14 am

    I am curious as to how the mechanics that push us further and further away from ourselves can be overcome as we try to connect with ourselves and others in our lives.

  3.  #3Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 9:20 am

    “There is a monumental disconnect between Gaga’s melodramatic self-portrayal as a lonely, rebellious, marginalised artist and the powerful corporate apparatus that bankrolled her makeover and has steamrollered her songs into heavy rotation on radio stations everywhere”

    This to me is the epitome of how our internal voices can be different to how we are perceived by others. The self-portrayal even brings back to mind Michael Jackson, just reading the words. Just goes to show that we should choose the life we want to live and live it no matter what others say or think.

    Live out loud and thrive. I woke up this morning feeling “I am tunnel visioned focused and committed to my own happiness” with or without anyone in particular.

  4.  #4Patricia on July 11, 2011 at 9:32 am

    well I”d love to jump back in about now. I opted out of this blog for a bit because I was feeling uncomfortable, but took the suggestion that was posted to perhaps read and observe for a while…and I am thankful for that as it’s led me to today’s comments by Rori….

    I agree with you whole heartedly Rori. In fact I think this critic may have taken Lady Gaga too seriously. I am in my 40s so I have seen the likes of Madonna, David Bowie, Boy George, The B52s, Michael Jackson, and some good Canadian musicians like Alanis Morrisette, The Bare Naked Ladies….they’re all leading edge song writers and performers….openly creative and pushed and still push the limits of their time with lyrics, their stage shows, etc. Lady Gaga plays on stage, she plays with her music and she is going to trigger all kinds of things in all kinds of people. I have two teenage daughters and they love her and know what level to take her. They “get” the lyrics that say be who you are and love her. They don’t take in too much dosage her her bondage stuff…they are smart enough to listen to what they want and pay little attention to the rest and they love it most when they see pictures of her in the new or online without her make up and being herself…..and they are out there too…..

    I ‘m a trained psychologist and work mostly with adults…….and Rori your work is right on in my view in terms of helping women, and people get back in touch with how they feel and start realizing the gem they have in their emotional radar system. I like however to participate in this blog as a woman first and foremost and leave my professional stuff along side….there aren’t many places I can do this, and perhaps maybe I can feel comfortable enough to do it here…we’ll see. I have things to understand about my self too 🙂

    I once had a man that I was dating and sexually involved with, tell me that when he experiences feelings they are “huge” and they overwhelm him and this is why he has to hide them… was the first time I finally understood that side of men….and felt compassion for them and love in a different way. They really are looking for a safe haven to understand themselves.

    Lady Gaga gives us all a safe haven to explore sexuality, be creative and learn what our own reactions are to what she puts in front of us. The old saying “we don’t see what is, we see through who we are ” is so true!

    Rori I love your work, thank you. And to the many women on this blog, also thank you. 🙂

  5.  #5Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 9:35 am

    WHAT WILL MATTER by Michael Josephson

    Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
    There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
    All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
    Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
    It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
    Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
    So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
    The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
    It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
    It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
    Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
    So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
    What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
    What will matter is not your success but your significance.
    What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
    What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched,
    empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
    What will matter is not your competence but your character.
    What will matter is not how many people you knew,
    but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.
    What will matter is not your memories but the memories of those who loved you.
    What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
    Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.
    It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
    Choose to live a life that matters.

  6.  #6kaitlyn on July 11, 2011 at 9:39 am

    bleh…lady caca.

  7.  #7Emoticon on July 11, 2011 at 9:48 am

    I love Lady Gaga… They may think she is fake but I think she is very real. Maybe she’s over the top but thats her emotion coming out. She is being herself. Being yourself and being a performer can cause that.

    Beyonce once referred to her as egotistical. What we learned about the ego in the last post…. I would not even agree to that.

    She is a risk taker, bold and undeniably entertaining. And yes, she does bring out a lot of emotion in me too! I love her!

  8.  #8kaitlyn on July 11, 2011 at 9:51 am


    FW and Tinque had the best reasons. As did the rest of y’all. Love you. Heh.

  9.  #9Emoticon on July 11, 2011 at 9:52 am

    My last comment did not go through for whatever reason, will try again

  10.  #10Patricia on July 11, 2011 at 10:01 am


    Femininewoman thank you for posting this…..words that resonate even more deeply and ring true I think the older we get 🙂

  11.  #11Lilybelle on July 11, 2011 at 10:12 am

    That woman can sing…unbelievably. And I am so impressed with how she marches to her own drum. We should all be so brave to do so.

  12.  #12Lilybelle on July 11, 2011 at 10:18 am

    I am curious how Siren’s feel when being called “hot” by a man.

    I always thought I would feel better being called beautiful or pretty…I’m not really sure now.

  13.  #13Emoticon on July 11, 2011 at 10:21 am

    I dont mind being called hott…. im a very sexual person and am grateful for my sexuality and sexiness. I feel good about them and any compliments I receive on them.

  14.  #14Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 10:23 am

    RE 10 I am ambivalent. I think of myself that way so when told sometimes I just say “I know” in a kind of juicy way or just plain “thank you”. I can’t come up with any reason why they wouldn’t think so, so I just accept it.

  15.  #15Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 10:30 am

    This comment jumped at me from the article. Though it was mostly scathing there seems to be some thread of truth in this comment.

    “Gaga’s fans are marooned in a global technocracy of fancy gadgets but emotional poverty”.

  16.  #16Lilybelle on July 11, 2011 at 10:49 am


    You made a lot of sense.

    He just asked me if it was okay if he thinks I am hot.

    I replied, “Yes, it’s okay if you think I’m hot, I do. ;-)”

  17.  #17Ladybug on July 11, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Thank you for that insight into a man’s private emotional world, Patricia. I needed to read that today. My adorable Hayseed retreats into there and I let him go, even though I am terrified by it. It comes across to me as mixed messages.

    I am one of the few of the middle-aged who gets Lady Gaga, maybe not all of it, but I understand why young people are attracted. Break down the walls that box us in and have fun!

  18.  #18Patricia on July 11, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    (14) @Ladybug

    …interesting…now that I think of it I’ve had more than one man say that to me……that they have feelings that come up that scare them…and that’s their first line of defence is to hide them….old stereotypical male programming over the years maybe….ironically both of these men were men I admired, strong on the outside and weathered incredibly difficult situations….do jobs that are very demanding (policing, firefighting, etc.)…..they are afraid for others to see their vulnerable side…that is until they meet a woman who gets them….totally gets that that’s inside of them but doesn’t push…..just lets them be……slowly come out of their shell and feel welcomed and comfortable in their vulnerability……open and warm and receptive is what a deep part of them looks for to feel safe….and its’ like they are transformed….suddenly they relax! they give strength in return to a woman….they can listen and love a woman….but until a woman understands this type of power that she has and is comfortable with it….it all gets lost in the translation…..I really wish I knew this about myself years ago. I am only now understanding this…… have a man tell you he feels relaxed around you….often comes after he’s told you he thinks you’re “hot” by the way……..almost like that’s a bit of test with some men……………….after the wall comes down and then it’s amazing the connection that can be there…….lol who knew!

  19.  #19Beedubya on July 11, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Hi Ladies

    I have not been on here participating for a LONG time, I used to live in Australia although I am a Brit but thought my name on here BarbinOz was well past it’s use by date……….

    I haven’t logged onto the site for MONTHS now but have been lurking for the past few days.

    Lots of oldies, lots of newbies and lots who others have disappeared without a trace.

    I have made contact this past week with an old lover, well it’s never going to go anywhere as this is a VERY long distance thing (different countries) and he has a young child but I do still have feelings for this man that are not going to go anywhere EVER,,,,,,,,,,,HOWEVER I can’t help the way my heart feels………..he emailed me back on Friday it is now Tuesday and I haven’t responded, because I don’t know how?

    I find it VERY difficult to find a balance between hey I am juicy hearing from you to that CD thing……….


  20.  #20Patricia on July 11, 2011 at 12:33 pm


    well, as for re contact? maybe baby steps…..helps keep the flood gates closed and the air light and breezy…..and easy ?

    I like Rori’s thoughts about what comes up for us…and going in the direction of “what does this feeling say about what’s going on inside of me?” vs it being about him necessarily…..

    I like how the CD idea lets us take baby steps too…..from the guy that opens the door for us at the store to the guy that shows interest…to dealing with an old flame……..letting the men come and go and not attaching……..being genuine, but not attaching……something freeing about that that feels nice…..

  21.  #21Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    Lilybelly, I like being called hot, beautiful, and pretty, among other things… 🙂

  22.  #22Beedubya on July 11, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Agree Patricia, but it is soooo hard to get your head around years of conditioning and just the hell do you get your head around interested but I know in my heart it will never go anywhere vs disinterested because I am the Yummy Pie????

  23.  #23Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    What do you all think of the legitimacy of “I feel disappointed” and “I feel turned off” as FM’s?

    With the -ed endings, they seem kinda blamey bc they imply that the person did the thing: “You disappointed me,” “You turned me off.”

    So… what would be more authentic/less blamey?

    “I feel sad that this happened….” ???

    How do you say something turns you off without blaming the guy???

    “I don’t feel good around a man when…..” How do you say what it is that makes you feel “not good” (i.e. Turned off) without blaming him?????


  24.  #24FlowerChild77 on July 11, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    FW…Thank you for responding to me in the last thread where I answered someone’s question about Rori’s waterwheel instructions. I felt kind of silly since no one responded (and I was answering a question) until you did way, way later in the thread. At least I know I understand it correctly.

    In #696/FW—your comment really helped me. It was about how men put a lot of energy into getting their lives in order when they’re serious about us (paraphrased, I hope I got it right.)

    This sheds light on my situation with xbf. Even though I know I am welcome to go back ‘home’ at any time–I will not go unless he asks me to and offers me some form of real comittment.) I said this in a very short FM/I don’t want/What do you think? msg. And his answer was, “I don’t feel right asking you to come home until I know what’s going to happen, whether I get called back to work/get another job and know I can keep the house.”

    When he said that, my first thought was that he was blowing me off and that that was my answer (the “learn to take no for an answer.”)

    He still calls nearly every day and tells me what he’s up to around the homestead, asks how I am, but mostly it’s updates about the job situation (what he’s done, who he’s talked to, what the prospects are, and other ideas about what to do, how to solve this problem, etc.)

    Until I read your post (#696/last thread) I was very disappointed and felt SO sure that he was just “avoiding.” (Which, of course, could still be the case. I do know that.)

    Meanwhile I am ‘downsizing’ and preparing myself to move. I had a rummage sale Saturday (City-Wide Rummage Sale weekend–best time–most people, etc.) It was SO lame. I made $14.00 and it took me 4 days of “work” and a whole day with my daughter just to get it all together and set up. The cost to participate was $8.00–sooooo, I made a big $6.00. VERY disappointed. Time to pack up the car a few times and take it all to GoodWill. I just want it GONE. I feel like it’s holding me back, dragging me down and keeping good things from happening.

    I’m “thinking about” putting up a profile on one of the sites (sans photo–available on request.) The biggest reason I’m thinking about it is because it’s a “Rori’/Siren thing to do. My heart really is not into meeting another man. I just know that I should have something “else” going on (in some shape or form) so if xbf IS just ‘avoiding’ (and not being the man CC and FW were talking about) that I won’t feel AS badly about it.

    I’m stubborn and a very private person–so it will take me awhile to mull this over and decide if I should do it or not. I have ‘looked’ over the last year (out of curiosity–just to remind myself that there ARE other men out there.) But, I know in order to CD PROPERLY (per Rori) I need a good profile so men can respond to ME (not the other way around.)

    My life is somewhat of a mess and I feel hesitant to be that ‘open book’ to anyone who doesn’t already know about my messy life. I am filled with shame when I think of someone asking me questions about my life, etc. I’m a terrible liar and I’m afraid (really AFRAID!) that I’m not clever enough to ‘not’ answer specifics without seeming rude or closed off. I don’t know how to pull that off and still be vulnerable and open and authentic without being discreet enough to “take care of myself” in this way.

    This is one of the reasons I am willing to give the relationship with xbf another chance–he accepts me as I am, and doesn’t judge me or ‘neg’ me or make me feel bad about myself. He loves me and I love how I feel about myself when I am with him. I can be totally open and authentic with him. I feel alive and beautiful with him.

    As far as today’s post from Rori–I agree with her about the article feeling “judgmental.” I don’t care for Lady Gaga (and there is a judgmental part of me that thinks her ‘get up’ is somewhat ridiculous—-BUT, I have to stop each time and remind myself how open I am about ANY other person/s and accepting of others who are different and/or choose to be different. After all, WHO am *I* to judge her?) NOT cool of me, at all 🙁

    I’m going to youtube to check her out. I’ve never actually listened to her music. I remember my kids coming up to me many years ago and saying, “MOM!! Did you know that Elton John is gay?” (It sounded so silly, as it was well known at the time–but I knew my reaction and answer would leave an impression, so I tried to be careful about it.) I said, “Well, do you still like his music?” They said, “Oh, yes…yeah, we really do.” And I said, “Then it really doesn’t matter, does it?” They looked at each other and said, “No, it really doesn’t!”

    Lesson for me–just because I’m old (in the sense that pop culture/music no longer really appeals to me) does not give me the right to judge others in a harsh way. I actually feel bad that when I see her on TV I roll my eyes. Shame on me 🙁

    I am going to youtube–not passing ‘go’–not collecting $200.00–going directly to youtube! 😉

  25.  #25Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Hello, world. Oh, the party’s moved. hahaha

    I’m thankful for all the sirens who share on the Rori blog.


  26.  #26FlowerChild77 on July 11, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    Ok….well, I wonder what this says about me—all I could think of was how much she (Lady Gaga) reminds me of Madonna. And, while I was never a huge Madonna fan, I also did not judge her. I was ALL for her right to be who she was. I do/did really respect how she put her sexuality out there, though. At that time, it was a bold and courageous thing to do.

    Well, I guess I need to take a look at how my age may be affecting my opinions and the need/want to change that before I become judgmental and small-minded—and all that goes with that—before I turn into a person I don’t like!

  27.  #27Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    I’m keeping pace with the times…

    From previous thread…

    @ 763: rusty says:
    “… I offered to come to where she works and take her to lunch. [1]She acted as if she didn’t want that. but then at 2:00 she calls to wonder why I didn’t show up.
    Uhm…well, it is a bit of a drive and [2]no need to make it if the company won’t be welcome…

    I wasn’t there but it seems some signals got crossed and she was expecting you to show up as offered and you didn’t.

    OK, “this woman’s” take on it. It could have gone like this…

    He: Dadnabbit, the eggs aren’t done.
    She: Oh, that’s OK, I gotta go

    He: Hey, look I can come and buy you lunch. It’ll make that weasel give you a real lunch break. That guy sucks.
    She: Is that the only reason you want to come? Never mind!

    He: I’ll be there at 1:00 p.m.
    She: You don’t have to.

    He: I’ll be there, Sweet cakes.
    She: Whatever.

    He: Luv ya!…

    Then He calls before leaving and tells her He loves Her and is on the way. He asks where She wants to go for lunch and suggests a couple of things. He shows up and everyone is happy, except maybe weasel boss.

    The end of that episode. More good times to follow.

    Ok, Rusty, I made it up but this story turned out better. What do you think of that story? Women like to be courted… even when they are married. Especially when they are married and going through some difficult times…

    Rusty, as I read your story it seemed to me that because [1] she didn’t respond in a particular way, you [2] punished her by not showing up.

    I wasn’t there, so I don’t know but my made up story seems happier.


  28.  #28Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Lady Gaga – “Bad Romance”


  29.  #29FlowerChild77 on July 11, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    #20/Lucy I don’t have the answer to your question about these FMs, but I am very interested, also, about how to put the right words to these kinds of feelings without the implied ‘by you.’

    I think Daria gave some examples of this a few threads back, but I can’t remember where or what she said. I should have copied and pasted it to save. Sigh…

  30.  #30Lilybelle on July 11, 2011 at 3:06 pm


    Me too…Sassy, Sexy and Naughty. 😉

  31.  #31Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    Thanks, Flowerchild. I keep checking to see if anyone’s answered my question, cuz I really need to know!!! 🙂

  32.  #32Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Lilybelly, I don’t like being called Naughty, cuz that’s what my mom used to call me! Lol.

  33.  #33Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    @16: Beedubya

    Hi BarbinOz! Welcome back. I like your new username.


  34.  #34Lilybelle on July 11, 2011 at 3:11 pm


    Shoot Darn.


  35.  #35Lily T. on July 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm


    “Turned off” is vague. What are you really feeling? And why, do you think?

  36.  #36Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    Haha, I know. When guys call me that, I actually get triggered.

  37.  #37Plum on July 11, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    16: Beedubya

    Hey Barb! I was thinking of you today, that is so funny!

    I feel unsure about your question. It depends what you told him and what he answered to you


  38.  #38Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    Lily T. Sad, I guess. And turned off…. as in, I don’t want to be with him sexually if things are going to be a certain way…..

  39.  #39Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Disappointed. But that seems blamey.

  40.  #40Lily T. on July 11, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    @Flowerchild #23

    I think of Lady G. as the “new” Madonna. One for every generation. 🙂

  41.  #41Lily T. on July 11, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    Lucy, can’t you explain it that way? “I feel sad about… And I don’t want to be in a sexual partnership if things will be that way.”

    What do you think?

  42.  #42Lilybelle on July 11, 2011 at 3:33 pm


    WAIT! With new guy??


  43.  #43Plum on July 11, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    OMG Marina, thank you
    thank you
    thank you

    From the link you pasted, I clicked around and ended on this video
    It’s mind blowing. I don’t have words for it.
    It’s Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.


  44.  #44Starla on July 11, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    Noticing that I feel sad without having a nervous breakdown

    This is a victory for me!

    I mean, I’m pissed he just up and deleted me from his facebook without any communication

    And turned off to the max.

    But grateful for the triggerrrssssssssss


  45.  #45Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Yes, New Guy. 🙁

    I’m not sure I want to say “sexual partnership.” We haven’t completely had sex yet, though we have come very close.

    We’re also not exactly “in a relationship,” so I can’t say that either.

    I guess it would have to be “I don’t want to continue dating if things will be that way.”

    Oh that feels heartbreaking. 🙁

  46.  #46Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    Is it blamey to say, “I don’t want to continue dating someone who….” ??

  47.  #47Starla on July 11, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    Lucy, yeah it’s a little bit blamey. I think you can tweak it better:)

  48.  #48Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    It’s not even a horrible thing, either. But it’s something I don’t think I can accept. 🙁

  49.  #49Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    Yet I feel even worse thinking about never seeing him again. 🙁

  50.  #50Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    I feel horrible.

  51.  #51Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Ever since Friday, so many things have gone “wrong.”

  52.  #52Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    I feel so sad… tears behind my eyes, lump in throat, ache in heart….. my shoulders hurt. mouth turned down with sad forlorn shape. bit of headache above eyes. tiny bursts of adrenaline/anxiety in my chest, arms.

  53.  #53Lilybelle on July 11, 2011 at 4:33 pm


    Wish I knew how to help here, Luce.

    Are you sure that whatever it is that is coming up with new guy isn’t residual leftovers from the situation with ex-h??

    Just throwing this at the wall…

  54.  #54Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    burning feeling in and around my nose from holding back tears

  55.  #55Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    hi lilybelle. It’s not leftover from that situation… but it is triggering stuff from my marriage….

  56.  #56Lily T. on July 11, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    Lucy, have you talked with new man about what’s bothering you?

  57.  #57Lilybelle on July 11, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    Ahhh, that is something to work from.. So maybe what is left over from the marriage, combined with recent events with ex-h and fear of totally opening up to new guy are completely running together and separating them from one another is difficult…

    Just throwing more stuff at the wall to see what, if anything sticks. I feel so inept here and I want to open my heart and help you work through this anyway I can. I also know you can’t just spew it so…

    grabbing straws…

  58.  #58Plum on July 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

  59.  #59Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    I haven’t talked with him yet about it, no. That’s what I’m asking about here – How to talk to him about it without being blamey.

  60.  #60Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    It’s horrible, because I don’t want to push him away. So, what does That tell me?

  61.  #61Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Yeah, I guess I’m afraid of pushing him away.

  62.  #62Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Yet I can’t keep it in and pretend everything is okay.

  63.  #63FlowerChild77 on July 11, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Lucy….I just remembered one of the examples.

    Instead of “I feel ignored”—-“I feel invisible.”

    I’ll try and remember some more.

  64.  #64AmazingMe on July 11, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    I feel sick and just feeli like crawling under a rock for awhile. Why did I do this to myself, I blame me for putting up with certain things and I blame me for allowing my heart to take my mind hostage in these crucial moments of life. The man I saw at the end of the aisle looking back at me with nothing but love for me…that I realize I cannot even be friends with anymore has told me his girlfriend from another country is moving in…I mean wtf is that. I am angry, sad, but recovering quick for I have too much going on and children that look to me for guidance. I cannot cry anymore tears the well is dry in my heart. That is scarey for me, my walls turned to a mote around my vulnerable heart. Feeling sorry for myself because I know noone else will. This is my fault so I must move on wish him well and continue on my path to being “Amazing Me”…..

  65.  #65Patricia on July 11, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    Lucy & Flowerchild
    just gently wondering ……what about “I’m feeling something here…..I’m uncertain but it’s coming up and I haven’t figured it out yet..” ” I feel curious about it”…..”I feel it’s important to talk about but it feels unclear right now”…….

    does that fit? or at least start the process??

    I know when things trigger me…or a few past experiences start to cross wires….it can feel confusing…..and through it all I have tried a self talk that says something like “I know something’s here but I don’t know what it is yet”….”I know I want to have a new experience with it, and feel it and i want to do it baby steps at a time”…..

    i wondered what that sounded like for you? or if it could lead to like flowerchild is suggesting….”I feel invisible”…..” I feel…..”……..

  66.  #66FlowerChild77 on July 11, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Do you have Rori’s book, Lucy? Chapter 17 is about ‘Requesting and Negotiating’. Maybe that could help you find your authentic message for this.

  67.  #67AmazingMe on July 11, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Even a blog it is hard to show weakness for…and inside my little girl is crying in a ball on the floor wishing for this nightmare to end and her dream to be alive….so the boy steps in and tells the little girl it will be ok you can feel pain and weep but you must get up and move on we need you..

  68.  #68Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    @59: Lucy says:
    “…Yet I can’t keep it in and pretend everything is okay….”

    Maybe it can be fixed? Is it fixable? Or is it something like he’s circumsized and well,,,, what’s gone is gone?


  69.  #69Soul Sista on July 11, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    Hey ladies…I have a question. What if there is a man you are attracted to and he does not even know you exist?

    I went 4 years between finding a man I was attracted to and finally while all this CD’ng found another man I’m attracted to (it’s taken 2 years) but we have never met and how would one get a man’s attention? In a general sense, I guess…

  70.  #70Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    Patricia, that’s helpful, yes, thank you.

    Flowerchild, I have the book but it’s on the other computer which is not working. I’m wondering though, aren’t the negotiations for when it’s already a committed relationship?

  71.  #71Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    @66: Soul Sista says:
    “…Hey ladies…I have a question. What if there is a man you are attracted to and he does not even know you exist?…”

    It depends. How is it that you know he exists but he doesn’t know you exist? Have you met?


  72.  #72Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    SLV, it’s possible that it is fixable, but not likely. It’s something of an attitude/mindset/belief/behavior.

    I guess I Want it to be fixable and I want him to want to fix it and make it go away and be all better.

    But that means I’m not accepting him the way he is. 🙁

  73.  #73FlowerChild77 on July 11, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    #67/Lucy Well, I wouldn’t think it has to be. It’s something that you feel now…and need to clarify/say/work out before you’ll even consider a committed relationship.

    Is this something that he can change? If it’s something that he cannot change, I understand why you don’t want to make him feel bad about it.

    Are you absolutely sure you cannot accept/live with this thing/situation?

  74.  #74Soul Sista on July 11, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    No we haven’t met…but I am acquainted with someone he works very, very close with, who is a fan of my work. I already knew of this man because he’s a public figure and never thought twice about him.

    After becoming acquainted with his colleague I was reading about this man and suddenly a light bulb went off. He’s wanting to be married, which is what I read over and over again in interviews.

  75.  #75Soul Sista on July 11, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    ..and he’s really sexy and creative! and i don’t usually find myself attracted to famous people.

  76.  #76Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    @21: FlowerChild77 says:
    “…I am filled with shame when I think of someone asking me questions about my life, etc. I’m a terrible liar and I’m afraid (really AFRAID!) that I’m not clever enough to ‘not’ answer specifics without seeming rude or closed off….”

    There are many ways to describe the same thing, if they need to be described at all. Maybe they don’t. I remember this from an executive outplacement seminar… “If one story doesn’t work for you…get another…” All true of course.

    While you are here in anonymity, what questions freeze you? I’m pretty good at answers and I’m sure lots of others here are too. One big reason is we don’t have the same emotional underpinning and attachment to the question as you do.

    So fire away. Once you develop a few “scripts” for yourself, it’s easy…You probably have some story in your head that’s uncomfortable for you. Create other ones!

    You seem like a very smart, interesting, clever, beautiful,,,, all kinds of good stuff person. If a guy is asking questions that you don’t feel comfortable answering, you don’t have to. But there is a possibility that the story you have created might not accurately reflect the real you.

    If you’ve been a convicted serial ax murderer… you’re a free woman now… that counts for something.



  77.  #77FlowerChild77 on July 11, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    Ok…attitude, mind-set, belief, behavior. Is it something that hurts you or that you don’t or can’t respect?

    Like for me, if a man turned out to be a bigot or liked tell ‘fag’ jokes (or any other such stuff) I wouldn’t be able to respect him–and that would be a deal breaker for me. I don’t think that’s “not letting him be himself”–it’s not wanting to be with someone you can’t respect.

    It’s hard to say, not knowing what it is. (Just thinking out loud.) I was just wondering if you could re-frame your thinking around the issue maybe it would be easier to know how to say your truth.

  78.  #78Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Flowerchild, it’s something that he could potentially change, but it’s one of those “ingrained” things that would likely be resistant to change… and he might not even want to change it anyway.

    I’m not Absolutely sure I can’t accept it. But… it does give me a sinking feeling in my gut when I think about just accepting it. 🙁

  79.  #79Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    But I also get a sinking feeling in my heart when I think about letting him go.

  80.  #80Soul Sista on July 11, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    My intuition is telling me to find a way to make myself known to him but I’m not sure how…

  81.  #81Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    @72: Soul Sista says:
    ..and he’s really sexy and creative! and i don’t usually find myself attracted to famous people…”

    Is there anyway the person you know could “fix you up?”


  82.  #82Soul Sista on July 11, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    …that would be great but I don’t know the other person very well other than that he’s really into my song “you are the gold.”

    i’m going to meditate on this…i’ll keep ya posted 😉

  83.  #83Senior Lady Vibe on July 11, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    @79: Soul Sista says:
    “…i’m going to meditate on this…i’ll keep ya posted…”

    OK. Maybe read “Soulmate Secret?”


  84.  #84Patricia on July 11, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    I can feel your sense of being unsettled loud and clear….it is a beautiful thing……it is fertile ground for amazing growth and new experience……..and the amazing thing is “you can’t get it wrong”……..but we do have to feel all of it…the buyers remorse and the seller’s remorse…..the what if I did and what if I didn’t……the sinking feeling of accepting it and the sinking feeling of letting go……whatever you move forward with tonight or today…..if it has more to it, the feeling will keep coming and if you can hold it….just sit with the tension …….or sit with the confusion in it….and not necessarily act on it immediately…or attach to a certain outcome (often out of fear)……..something shifts……the universe often delivers a surprise or a hint to lead us in the right direction….help us know what to say……..I know waiting sucks lol but sometimes it can help incubate things until they are clearer…..I know when I need to do this it helps to distract and do something else until i can come back to it…but be open to what shows up……….and then it’s clearer…..does that make any sense?

  85.  #85Lily T. on July 11, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    Lucy, I won’t ask you to share details you are uncomfortable sharing, but if you could find a way to do a comparison of sorts, maybe someone here who has been in a similar situation could offer you their perspective, how they worked through it.

  86.  #86FlowerChild77 on July 11, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    Could you bring it up by saying, “I want to feel______when I’m with a man.” Or “I don’t want to feel______when I’m with a man.” ??

    To me, that sounds more like you just taking responsibility for knowing what you want and how you want to feel than telling him something about himself/blame. It could open the conversation (you can add the “What do you think?”)

    It’s so hard when both alternatives make you feel sad to consider. ((hugs))

  87.  #87gina on July 11, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    I feel very strongly that every woman should investigate the occult symbols in pop culture:

    My perception is that Lady Gaga is a puppet used to push the agenda of the world elite. and I don’t think this article is demolishing her as a human being – I think it is dissecting her role in pop culture. And the cute little candid interviews aren’t what the critic is concerned about – it’s her mysterious music videos, which don’t match the poppy sounds of her music, and seem to glorify murder, rape, sexual deviancy and the police state.

  88.  #88gina on July 11, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    and I do think we should judge the message of her art, because I believe that it is blatant propaganda, and that we need to use our brains when we consume this stuff, which is as poisonous as the food and water that is immasculating men.

  89.  #89gina on July 11, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    I’d like to report that, after my energy shift yesterday, Derek has contacted me twice. Yay, it felt good to hear his voice.

  90.  #90DE on July 11, 2011 at 6:42 pm


    Wow, i feel so glad u brought up this subject…

    I so agree with u …

    “Sorry – not a big fan of anyone who’s about “demolishing” others. Critique is one thing, demolishing another.”

    I love her artistic evolutionary spin…and edge…yes, good for her!!! She believed in her dream and she made it happened…she is a perfect example of envisioning her future early on…when many would laugh/ignore her ideas and dreams …awesome!!!

  91.  #91Soul Sista on July 11, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    Hey SLV she was my same age when she met her hubby…i’ll give it a shot 😉

  92.  #92DE on July 11, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    Oh, Gina…gosh, it feels awful to read the link u posted…Actually, these are the kind of sites poisonous to the spirit…sooo much negativity, judgement, paranoia…ouch…feeling sooo sad….and ya, angry too…

    There are many artistic forms of expression I don’t personally enjoy or get…yet, I respect their freedom of expression…this is soo important…because it is what makes this world soooo beautiful…and never boring…

    Warm hugs,

  93.  #93AmazingMe on July 11, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    I am feeling very ill, second night and I cannot figure out if it is just anxiety….like I am talking dizziness, nausea…dear god it feels like morning sickness in a way. I think it is just anxiety and paranoia setting in but I am concerned….ohhh boyyyy….i am just going to go to bed and pray for a better day tomorrow.

  94.  #94Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    Gina, there is rape in her videos?

  95.  #95gina on July 11, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    Have you watched her music videos? Like paparazzi or telephone – lots of murder. Alejandro has lots of rape and glamourization of the police state.
    I go back and forth between feeling like the site has info that I’m uncomfortable with, but I also feel good to have clarity about pop culture. The more I investigate, the more i agree with the site’s claim that the world elite use pop culture to control the masses, so I think it’s healthy to be skeptical of pop icons.

  96.  #96Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    RE 83 How about “I have always known in my heart since I was a little girl that I want to be in a relationship where I can respect my partner and deeply surrender. I realize men and women see things differently but I experience ………………….as disrespectful and though I appreciate that might not be the intention, I feel afraid that I will………………”

    What do you think?

  97.  #97gina on July 11, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    mostly, lots of references to mind control, like the site I posted details. Which I feel super creeped out by.

  98.  #98Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    AmazingMe there are times I experience fear with nausea.

  99.  #99gina on July 11, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    I’ve noticed that there’s tons of Illuminati symbolism in my town – I see that the powers that be do indeed influence my life, and no it doesn’t feel good to spend too much time trying to figure it all out. But I do feel good to have some awareness of what interests drive society, so that I can be wary of agendas pushed in the mainstream.

  100.  #100AmazingMe on July 11, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Thanks FW I think that is what is going on here I am afraid..mostly of the unknown at this point…one of my biggest fears…yuck…

  101.  #101Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Patricia, thanks, that’s helpful. Feels hopeful.

    Lily T. – I tried to think of something, but couldn’t really come up with anything that would work without just making it more confusing.

  102.  #102Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    83 Flowerchild… That might work…. thanks… and for the hug too 🙂

  103.  #103gina on July 11, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    I think Rori’s message about Gaga is positive and that a person can’t really go wrong with thinking that way. Though, I think it is incorrect to judge Lady Gaga as an artist who is freely expressing herself. I think she is used as a puppet, and her art is targeted towards youth, and the youth I have spoken to, find her art to be very disturbing – they seem confused about how to respond to her popularity – they are tempted to emulate, but they can see that she’s very different than what there parents raised them to value. They feel torn between wanting to resist and conform, and I feel sorry for them because it sucks when you’re coming of age in a sick culture and you don’t know what ideals to aspire to. And it’s especially confusing when an artist is so positive on the one hand, like she is, but then so sick and twisted on the other…

  104.  #104gina on July 11, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    so, what I’m saying, is that Rori’s message is nice, but I think that Lady Gaga (as a pop icon) is a negative influence on society based on how kids receive her, and to resist judgement is to allow kids to be targeted by those who want to use them/shape them for their own purposes.

  105.  #105Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    FW, the part about surrender might work well, thanks.

    Thanks, everyone for your help on this!!! You’ve all given me some good things to work with… and/or “sit” with a bit. <3

  106.  #106Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    AmazingMe Yuck suggests to me that you are resisting just deeply feeling those feelings. Maybe one of the reasons they are persisting.

  107.  #107DE on July 11, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    Yes, Gina …I watched…yes, they are very visual…creative…intense…dramatic…just like her life is…some can relate to it…and some don’t…

    I know the moralists are about “the children” …our “poor children”…well, I happen to be one of those people that believe we murder our kids spirit at home with our hypocrital and judmental views…

    The u give kids real uncondional love, consistent care and support…i betcha they won’t relate to drama, fear, abuse in the world…as a result, they won’t get it…

    I would really like to see a bootcamp of many “strong” “moralists” from the USA or from abroad…send them to leave in a dictatorial regime country (not that many these days too choose from…) or even in a 3rd world country;…After a few years of being told what u should or shouldn’t…what u should be or shouldn’t be…once perspective of civil liberties do change…so, till then…sorry, I don’t buy into any of these diabolic views …

  108.  #108Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    RE 100 Gina I believe that if they are trained in the home as you suggest, to the contrary, they will have something to aspire to. Many cultures subscribe to the belief of “brain washing” kids to a certain extent to mold the adult they will become.

  109.  #109Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    FlowerChild I would encourage you to work on what it is you feel ashamed about in your life. I am doing that, both to change my perspective and to change the situation itself. Those are things that lower our vibrations and can cause us to be out of sync with the partner we desire if they have to things aligned. I also believe they keep me stuck in less than partnerships that I am determined to change.

  110.  #110Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    Testing some things here…

    “I feel sad about… I don’t know why exactly, but I feel sadness and pain around this. I don’t know what to do.”

  111.  #111Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    “I feel sad about… I don’t know why exactly, but I feel sadness and pain around this. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to feel afraid to surrender to a man.”

  112.  #112Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    Lucy I would change I don’t know what to do to “can you help me with this”?

  113.  #113Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    Also how about “this may sound silly but I feel sad about…….”

  114.  #114Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:43 pm

  115.  #115AmazingMe on July 11, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    FW yes you are right resisting without intention..not sure why. Your advice, not just to me but others, it is very soothing to me…Thank you so much for your input, I find you very inspiring..

  116.  #116Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    Lucy also this

    How to start sharing feelings with a man when there are serious problems and you want more, without scaring him, upsetting yourself – or devolving into complaining and repeating yourself over and over again:
    Pretty much – you establish a system with every single man you begin to date.
    The mindset is the start, and that starts with the choice that warmth is better than cold – and that anything that shuts down your heart is not good for the relationship.
    And that, although we ALL have work to with our perceptions, our thoughts, our attitudes that lead to our feelings – the path to getting hearts to open is to regard everything you feel as important information that has real value when shared in a way that feels like teamwork.
    You start by sharing that you feel so many things. That, as a woman, you are an “emotional creature.” That being an emotional creature feels important to you.
    You share that some feelings you feel – feel childish to you, some you don’t like at all and you feel embarrassed sharing – and yet you’re now feeling that the most important thing with all the pressure and challenges you face as a couple is absolute total honesty.
    When you let your feelings sit, unexpressed to him, it makes things feel superficial, and you don’t want superficial. You want deep, and emotional, and bonded and harmonious. You want to be a team.

  117.  #117Femininewoman on July 11, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    Anazing Me it helps to remind myself and to work on my own situations. You are welcome

  118.  #118AmazingMe on July 11, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    I have to admit something and if I don’t or cannot admit it I have to get it out. I am scared…a feeling of overwhelming fear. Pressure to be the perfect mom and not feeling even close. Feeling pressure that I cannot pass my nursing boards to save my life and know I am one of the best nurses you may have. I am sad, sad from lonliness. I have emotions too, and needs and want them just like the next person. I am afraid of never being at a point to move out on my own and provide for my children. I am afraid to let my heart choose the wrong man AGAIN….the most hurt and blame and insecurity from one situation running my entire life, there is so much more to me than that….most of all even if he will never know or see or even if my heart and love was misguided I know how I felt. I am so afraid to never have a man like you in my life again, I want that feeling so bad. That feeling that takes your breath away, I had it with you. I want that feeling of happiness and joy you brought to my life. The laughter that we once had, I want it all back before I lost you….before “it” changed, you changed, I changed, unclear sense of change, DAMN IT….I can only take babysteps to the relationship I now know that I want and except no less. I deserve that love damn it and I have changed so much because of us for that I will be forever greatful….Moving on is so hard, screw my ego, I want love, pure and honest love that never leaves me especially when I need it most….Thanks for listening…GoodNight Sirens..

  119.  #119Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    FW… Eek… “can you help me with this”? triggered something in me! Wow!

    I pictured saying that, and what immediately came to mind is my ex-h doing what he did sooo many times: *pretending* to help me. 🙁 He’d say, “Aw, sure honey, I can help you with that…” and he’d put his arms around me and snuggle me…. and then just keep doing the same thing that had troubled me to begin with… never making any effort to help fix the issue but always saying he would…. 🙁

  120.  #120Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    So I guess that’s why “I don’t know what to do” seems to be my thinking….

  121.  #121Lucy on July 11, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    113 That linked article is very helpful for this! Thanks FW!

  122.  #122Emoticon on July 11, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    Lucy, try to remember that this guy is not your husband.

  123.  #123Daria on July 11, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    I got internet at my brothers house w my boyfriend lol

  124.  #124Daria on July 11, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    I feel u Gina and I am keeping my spirit free and healing everything

  125.  #125Daria on July 11, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    I’m feeling good and sleepy too


    Yum sleepyhead yum

    I love my sleepiness

    I love my face numbness

  126.  #126Beedubya on July 11, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    Thanks for remembering me SLV and Plum, it’s been such a long time.

    I have now settled back down in the UK, got a car, my own flat and a decent job, so I figured it’s time for me to get back into the dating game, I have put up a bit of a profile on a dating site, I don’t really like being on one, but it’s very hard to meet people as a single older woman, I can’t go into many places on my own, though am thinking of taking up dancing lessons??

    As for the email from ex-lover from long ago, well it’s just a general chit chat where I told him about new life in the UK, etc………

    If we were to get in contact again in a romantic way, I know for sure there will never be any kind of future together, however nothing wrong with a bit of lurve is there if he was to pop over here LOL!!

    Or should I just forget him and move on………..mmmm………but Rori says you don’t close the door, I haven’t done any of this FEELING stuff for so long, I am completely out of touch with it all now…..I need a refresher course, so will spend a lot more time reading up on the blog and see if I can learn.

    Any of you ladies had any luck doing all this stuff? I was disappointed to see some of you still here, I had thought at least one of you would have taken a trip up the aisle by now!! Maybe that is where the oldies that used to be on here are now, loved up and gone??

  127.  #127Starla on July 11, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    thank you for posting about lady gaga. i feel inspired by your bravery to suggest an alternative view of her role in pop culture. I think Rhianna and Beyonce are two more pop artists that fall into this category in their own ways.

    I am curious…you said you had an energy shift and so D contacted you twice after. What was your energy shift like? I am really needin a good shift myself

  128.  #128Beedubya on July 11, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    Disappointed to see you here in the nicest way possible of course. 😀

  129.  #129Beedubya on July 12, 2011 at 12:37 am

    Oh and I forgot to say that I have been SO MUCH in my boy energy these past 6 months or so, moving to another country, finding a car, a flat and a job has been so much hard work and having to do all this “male” stuff I have forgotten all the girl things I had learnt…….

  130.  #130Kyla on July 12, 2011 at 1:20 am

    I feel tired and wary. I don’t want to be strong today.

  131.  #131kaitlyn on July 12, 2011 at 3:10 am

    A guy was supposed to call me today but didn’t. I’m not that into him anyway.

    Adam and his overseas love interest are leaving notes of affection all over each others’ fb, and I feel really annoyed. What did I do get so dismissed? Oh, I remember…I stuck around and played the friend…I gave him carte blanche while I ignored my boundaries because I was trying prove what a virtuous gf I was second time around to make up for Paris.

    It’s very troubling to me that he’s still on my mind. I wish I wasn’t so affected by this.

    I feel like I’ve been made a fool of. Once he found closure with the drama with his ex, he quit talking to me. I feel used.

  132.  #132Ella on July 12, 2011 at 4:15 am


    You don’t have to always be strong… I know what you mean… be gentle with yourself. xx

    Lucy – How are you getting on? Although are situations are different I see some similar patterns in how we get ourselves all wound up and panicky…

    For me I definitely need to chill out, step back and breath sometimes. Hugs. xx

  133.  #133Ella on July 12, 2011 at 4:21 am

    So I have decided to accept the invite to go clubbing from the girl S.

    And I am doing it regardless of J and been feeling reasonably Rockstar about my decision. Ie: I want to say yes to the invite and go out with some new friends and have fun, regardless of what some boy is or isn’t doing…

    And I messaged her back and said yes please and also that I felt a bit nervous coming out in a group that I don’t know people that well and could I meet up with her first on the day.

    She said yes sure and told me a meeting place and then said J and his brother will be meeting us at that meeting place too!


    Now I feel nervous again, and I am going to do it anyway… and just have a fun night out regardless of what J does.

    The scenario which would trigger me the most is if he didn’t show u… that would tap into my insecurities… BUT even if that happens I will be fine. And will even enjoy it.

    I am going to be working with Daria to do some work around imagining the triggering scenarios… and my vibe, and some EFT, and I have resolved that whatever happens I am going to learn and grow, and hopefully make some new friends.

    Now I need to accept the invite on FB… oh, I feel nervous about that one. May procrastinate a bit longer before making it public.

    Sirens I feel a lil out of my depth. I hope I am doing ok.

  134.  #134Kyla on July 12, 2011 at 4:43 am

    Aw thanks Ella I feel supported 🙂

    I think its great that you are going out and meeting new people. That sounds fun and a great way to practice.

  135.  #135Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 5:09 am

    RE 116 Then Lucy maybe that is where you should go so you can get triggered and also give the new man a chance to prove himself rather than hold him responsible for what your ex did? He might help you put that experience in the past. If not then it will help you build your boundary and experiment with other things to see what actually will work. This guy might just surprise you.

  136.  #136Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 5:15 am

    AmazingMe sounds like you have a lot of nasty voices in your head, tell them to go sit in a corner. You can pass those exams, you don’t have to be a perfect mom. Who is? Your heart will never lead you to accept the wrong man. Most of the time it is because we are not following our heart why we choose the wrong man.

    Do you have Rori’s ebook or any of her products?

  137.  #137Lily T. on July 12, 2011 at 5:30 am


    I understand you want to talk to your friend in the least blamey way possible about what’s bothering you. But if this ‘something’ is so big that you aren’t sure you could/would want to live with it, perhaps it’s better you come straight out with it. All this angst, the tippy toeing around his feelings does not feel healthy to me. Can you accept that no matter what language you use to couch it, this man will be displeased by what you have to say? But that you have to say it anyway?

    Sometimes being authentic involves having to be blunt.

  138.  #138Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 5:37 am

    115 & 132
    Amazing Me I agree with FW….it sounds like the little scared girl in you has a lot to say…….I think after she sits in the corner (too cool down) she may need some good TLC lol……..I can relate….even though I’m middle age, my inner little girl takes up the negative voice microphone and has a speech for me when I’m under stress ! She just wants to make sure I look after her, look after myself…..similar to you I have a professional side to look after, children to look after….and chose a man (father of my children) for all the wrong reasons….trying very hard now not to repeat that pattern……and to lean towards loving myself and listening to my heart (like FW says your heart can never lead you to the wrong man….)……….you sound like such a strong woman and a wise woman…..tuning in and trying so hard……….wow, really living up to your name sake “amazing”. 🙂

  139.  #139Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 5:39 am


    I don’t see any reason why you have to be “strong” all the time. Why not just let yourself feel your weakness and just take a bit of time to take care of and nuture yourself?

    I sure do. When my energy isn’t particularily high, I just go with it.

  140.  #140Mel on July 12, 2011 at 5:44 am

    Good morning sirens,

    I’m feeling good today!

    I was checking into the cost of living over-seas and even found a great website that lists furnished apartment rentals. I found this super cute tiny little attic apartment that has a ladder that you climb to get to the bedroom. AND they accept pets. It’s in one of the cities I applied for a job in. Love it! 🙂

    This is all just dreaming right now because I don’t have a job yet… but I have applied for a couple and I hope I will hear back.

    I think working abroad might be the best option for me if I can figure out how. I feel like I need to replace this really unwanted negative experience with something super fun and positive. An adventure that lets me prove to myself that I can be single and independent and be okay- maybe even MORE than okay.

    I’m just going to keep looking for postings and do everything I can on my end to see if this can work out.

    A couple years ago, I applied for Irish citizenship (through my dad and grandma) for no real reason other that that I could. Many places want to hire only EU citizens, so I guess this might even come in handy!

    I want to think that things do happen for a reason, so if this is what I should do, hopefully things will begin to fall into place for me.

    In the meantime, I’m still looking for jobs back home. To see if that feels “best.” I feel a little scattered right now… putting myself out there into a bunch of different places. But hopefully one or two doors will open up that way.

  141.  #141Kyla on July 12, 2011 at 5:57 am

    Thanks Lilybelle.

    I’m just in no mood for riffing and sinking and leaning back and owning my own feelings today.

    I guess what I mean is I want to stomp and throw tantrums and scream and cry and make demands and act childish and be a brat! I want to point fingers and pass the blame around and create chaos and drama all around me.

    I don’t know I just feel powerless and miserable and tired of hearing ‘You’re stronger than this’ and ‘its only painful because it’s worth it’. Ugh well maybe I want to be protected and cared for instead of going forward scared and alone and maybe I want to believe pain is an indication that something wrong not that its right! I’m tired of struggling. Ahhhhhhhhh!

  142.  #142Lily T. on July 12, 2011 at 5:58 am

    Hi Mel.

    It feels good to hear how positive you are this morning. I feel inspired reading of your openness to adventure. And a little envious, if truth be told. 🙂

  143.  #143Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:09 am

    @134: Patricia says:
    “…and to lean towards loving myself and listening to my heart (like FW says your heart can never lead you to the wrong man….)..”

    My heart has led me to the wrong man, more than once. I believe that wrong choices in men most often happen when heart and mind are not aligned.

    I’m curious. Everyday for months I’ve been reading posts of women who are in anguish and weeping over men they have chosen. I do not believe their hearts are uninvolved.

    Has anyone here chosen the wrong man without being led by her heart?


  144.  #144Lily T. on July 12, 2011 at 6:11 am

    #139 No.

    I’ve sometimes chosen (or stayed with) the wrong men by not listening to my brain! 😉

  145.  #145Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:17 am

    @136: Mel says:
    “…A couple years ago, I applied for Irish citizenship (through my dad and grandma) for no real reason other that that I could. Many places want to hire only EU citizens, so I guess this might even come in handy!…”

    Super! You could even say “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” (thanks to Lone Plum :D) or “suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus” to emphasize your complete turnabout.


  146.  #146Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:22 am

    @140: Lily T. says:
    “…I’ve sometimes chosen (or stayed with) the wrong men by not listening to my brain!…”

    Yep! 😉


  147.  #147Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 6:24 am

    wow SLV what a great question. Well what I remember….and it was when I was in my 20s was that my heart was at that time being led by a mind that wanted children, wanted to come to my home town, wanted to settle after being away at university for over 8 years… my heart was where it was at then….maybe a little “young” at heart…lol…. this man moved back to Canada from England to be with me….ok you might say….i leaned back and he moved in forward……big time I was head over heels….we had known each other for years but only dated for 10 months before being engaged and another year were married……two years later we travelled for a month on the west coast….Californina, Arizona, BC and it didn’t go well….but I ignored it….wanted that family so bad…..wanted home life so bad and then we had started having children 2 years later….

    he was the wrong man for me later in life after our children were born…..maybe i should qualify that……because of how we both grew….it was stressful and he didn’t handle stress well…wanted to be as free as he was before we had children….and I just kept compensating….overworking and overcaretaking….my heart took a back seat to keep up with what my mind wanted…..his anger got out of control….my heart went silent and I just kept doing the mom/work hard thing……

    I don’t know if the mind eclipses the heart or the heart eclipses the mind sometimes…but I think it’s possible for them to work together….my training tells me that the brain sends electrical signals to the heart and vice versa all the time lol so the body works the way it’s suppose to…….

    I just know that as I get older I’m getting better at it….I like your view….that when the mind and heart are aligned and free to be healthy and live well that we make great choices…… 🙂

  148.  #148Starla on July 12, 2011 at 6:36 am

    I feel distraught he took me and my guy friend off his facebook.

    We were supposed to be taking space. So I’ve been giving him space. It’s been like 5 or 6 days.

    I have a feeling I’m being punished for actually giving him space. And taking some for myself.

    My therapist suggested that space isn’t ‘allowed’ in our relationship. That when I asked for a night to myself and got attacked by that man on the street, that my guy punished me for taking space by not coming to my aid.

    And that’s kind of how it’s gone.

    How sad.

    I feel terribly sad.

    I knew I deserved better, but rather than acting that way and having boundaries, I acted worse so I wouldn’t deserve better. So I could stick around.

    I just wanted things to work out.

    He may very well just be taking us off his facebook for more space and privacy, but I would have expected some sort of contact that lets me know this isn’t ‘f8ck you forever’.

    My best girl friend has some theories. Like there is obviously a misunderstanding going on in his head, or maybe this is a cry out for attention. Maybe he wants me to call him and ask him “why did you unfriend me??”

    but I don’t to be baited into drama. Really. If you have something to say or want my attention, please don’t try to achieve it this way. This is what I am trying to stop in our relationship anyway.

    So I am just going to hang tight and wait for the energy to shift. I want so much better than this. I want better than having to chase him down because he just straight up deleted me without saying what the problem is.

    He can have his deletion then. Whatever it means…if it’s short term, long term. He can have it, of course. I am learning to show respect for a man by taking No for an answer, so if he is going to show me “no,” he is going to realize that i will take it for an answer, and I won’t jump into a drama cycle trying to find my way around having to take no for an answer.

    I feel doomed. sigh. I don’t want to CD right now. I want at least a couple weeks to feel less sad. I dunno. For the first time in my life, I’m not really feeling good about men. I am thinking ‘all men are ____” type thoughts. Or “I will always just be ______” type thoughts.

    I need healing and love. I miss his hugs:( They are the only hugs I have that mean anything to me.

  149.  #149Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:53 am

    @143: Patricia


  150.  #150Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 6:59 am

    RE 143 Sounds a bit like my own experience. Chemistry was more important to me after the intial flurry of going with the flow of everything and everyone else around me and what they were doing. My heart still desires today what it wanted back then. Just that back then there was no method to the madness, no real focus on who I am and what I wanted. My heart took what I believe to be a back seat to the wishes of parents who wanted me to succeed, to my drive to achieve and to please. Looking back now I remember feeling some things I still feel today but then I felt I had a lot of time to take care of it. I even remember shutting down my heart because I felt unfit in most circumstances. Didn’t even know that my heart needed to be engaged in living much less to allow it to lead me to the right man.

  151.  #151Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 7:11 am

    wow FW I can understand what you say…shutting down one’s heart seems like the right thing to do at the time but it’s such a sad state to live in…..things feel isolating, disconnected…..exactly like you say, like we don’t fit in…..we become invisible………..maybe we have to go through it and experience it for ourselves……..maybe there’s no way around it? to get to where we want to be………..I sure didn’t have anyone that could coach me at the time…they were also more about fitting into the status quo with the family thing, job thing…be a good girl thing…… I remember when my first child was born……….I almost didn’t make it through the delivery and neither did he……we were both so sick……..but my in laws were all about me having a boy……wanting a boy in the family…… Luckily my son and I survived….he is now 17 and I had two more children, daughters….because of them I found my way back to how to love……how to keep my heart open……….despite my needing to divorce… was the best decision………for them, for me, for my heart……at least I feel fortunate to give my heart a second chance………to see what other possibilities are here to love and to be healthy in all of it….that feels like a better focus (like you say)…….that feels hopeful… life can be in colour and not black and white any more……….like my goal needs to be to keep aligned with healthy relationships with all the men in my life…..some I meet will be friends, some close buddies……….maybe someone intimate….but when the goal is to keep a healthy eye on things it all falls into place……the guy that drinks too much….well I have affection for him but to keep it healthy my heart says we stay friends (despite physical attraction)…..the married guy….my heart says keep it healthy and stay friends and play golf and get to know his wife…….the guy that lives across the province…’s going to be an email only friendship……..all different forms….all healthy…… that my heart has learned I’ll take care of it…..all good….:)

  152.  #152Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 7:15 am

    Gina, you are right on the money. Most people don’t want to look at it too much because they realize they can’t do anything about it, or they have bought into the free love and expression without any consequences. No boundaries. So this all sits just fine by them. They see the total destruction of morals as a good thing. Each person makes up their own morals. Of course that in itself is a lie because the truth is that it is just one set of morals being replaced by another. You still have to toe the line…it’s just a different line that is being drawn up these days.

    It’s no coincidence either that Katy Perry, who grew up singing in church, couldn’t get anywhere in the music industry, no matter how talented she is, until she totally sold out and started singing songs about alternative sexual lifestyles and freedom of sexual expression. Her song “I kissed a Girl” is not the kind of song she would have chosen to sing initially but after years of rejection, she was taken under the wing of a mentor that taught her she had to change her style to what it is now if she wanted to succeed. She sold out in flaming fashion.

    So as you can see, it isn’t so much that we have freedom of expression these days. if you want to succeed in certain areas, especially pop music, you have to express yourself according to the new rules.

  153.  #153Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 7:19 am

    “When we spend time judging others, we have no time to love them.” Mother Theresa.

  154.  #154Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 7:21 am

    144: Starla says:

    My best girl friend has some theories. Like there is obviously a misunderstanding going on in his head, or maybe this is a cry out for attention. Maybe he wants me to call him and ask him “why did you unfriend me??”

    but I don’t to be baited into drama. Really. If you have something to say or want my attention, please don’t try to achieve it this way. This is what I am trying to stop in our relationship anyway.


    WOW…seems like something similar to what I have been saying. That is how I have felt. Baited into drama. I don’t like drama, I want calm and adult conversation.

    Heck, just this morning, drama started up. Over nothing. It’s like that all the time and has always been like that. I know people like to believe that if this exists, it is because this is the environment that the man created, but that is wrong headed thinking. It may be true sometimes, but other times that is blatantly not true.

    It’s a no win situation.

  155.  #155Brenda on July 12, 2011 at 7:28 am

    Hi! I am hot on the trail of a job, and I had a very positive texting session with Ryan late last night for 1.5 hours! It made my day!

  156.  #156Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 7:29 am

    @146: Femininewoman

    Hi FW, I know you keep up with the dating coaches. I just read this morning’s regular Tuesday newsletter of a male dating coach. I’ll refer to as blank blank (“dump his ass”) blank. Those stories where super!!! Did you read?

    I was thinking about scraping a bit of it because of the stories I’ve been reading here lately on Rori blog. I might do it anyway. tee hee 😆

    Anyway, really good and wise motivating words, if you haven’t seen it already, aptly titled “Dump that guy…”


  157.  #157Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 7:30 am

    @151: Brenda

    Yay, Brenda! I’m going for a walk now and sending you some vibes…


  158.  #158Brenda on July 12, 2011 at 7:31 am


    RE: #149 – on judging…I really like that quote! I am sure to use it in the future. I have learned so much about judging thru Rori and her blog (ie, all of you!). Only God is all-knowing enough to be the judge, as well as all-loving enough!

    I figure as long as I’m not perfect, who am I to judge anyone? So I just love it on this imperfect blog, and I love each of you! I take the meat and leave the bones! And I think each of you is infinitely valuable and beautiful!!

    Love, Brenda

  159.  #159Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 7:35 am


    YAY! Holding space for you in my thoughts today.

    Go get ’em!

  160.  #160Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 7:39 am

    RE 150 Rusty what I understand from Gay and Katie Hendricks is that such situations can be used as an opportunity to review commitment and make new ones. I believe both have to take 100% responsibility so I am not one of those who feel it is only the other side that create the drama. The key for me as the maybe the more concious one is to speak about how I feel about what is happening and check with the other person if that is what we are committed to doing or want. Then take it from there. Your comment about “has always been” shows a possible thinking that could cause a trigger if it is verbalized. To inspire change one has to choose to respond differently.

  161.  #161Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 7:40 am

    @150: Rusty says:
    “… I know people like to believe that if this exists, it is because this is the environment that the man created…”

    Maybe they do “like to believe” that. I believe BOTH people create the drama. It’s early here where I am before noon, I don’t know your time zone but hope the rest of your day goes happier. Could you step outside the tension and do a sweet thing as a show of good will?

    Not that this is magic.. Well, it is kind of magic. Do twelve of these (in the spirit of “courtship”) with no expectation of result (romantic adventure) just for the pleasure of doing… And no arguments!!! See what happens… miracles happen. Tit for tat doesn’t work as well.



  162.  #162Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 7:42 am

    RE 152 I read it SLV. You are so funny. I don’t make reference anymore to avoid any triggers around it. I took some value from the email though but felt it was a bit harsh.

  163.  #163Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 7:44 am

    RE 157 That sounds like Gay Hendricks and John Gottman. 20 appreciations for one negative comment that one makes can work miracles in relationships. The thing is we have to want to create the miracles.

  164.  #164Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 7:50 am

    From “After the Ball” I post this to highlight that there is no side that simply wants to allow for all beliefs, diversity of opinion, etc… It is winner take all, and truth be told, the churches have totally lost the battle in little more than two decades since this book was written.


    The homosexual agenda can succeed by conversion of the average Americans emotions, mind, and will, through, a planned psychological attack in the form of propaganda to the nation via media (page 153);

    “Propaganda relies more upon emotional manipulation that upon logic, since its goal is to bring about public change” (page 162);

    Propaganda can be unabashedly subjective and one-sided, there is nothing wrong with this (page 163);

    Homosexual agenda can succeed by “desensitization” achieved by lowering the intensity of antigay emotional reactions to a level of sheer indifference (page 153);

    Homosexual agenda can succeed by “jamming” and “confusing” adversaries, so as to block or counteract the “rewarding of prejudice” (page 153);

    “Desensitizing” is “our recipe” for converting “ambivalent skeptics”;

    Make the opposition look bad by linking to Nazi horror while helping straights to see gays as victims and feel protective towards them (page 221);

    The Nazi story of “pink triangle as a symbol of victimization” should be a sufficient opening wedge into the vilification of our enemies (page 190);

    Show grisly victimization of gays and demand that readers identify themselves with either social tolerance or gruesome cruelty;

    Discourage anti-gay viewpoints by linking and calling all those that have opposing opinions to latent homosexuality (i.e., call people homophobic) (page 227)

    Jam people by pointing out that it’s inconsistent with the reader’s belief in the value of love between individuals (page 233);

    AIDS epidemic should be exploited “to increase attention and sympathy” as “victimized minority.”(page xxv)

    “We argue that for all practical purposes, gays should be considered to have been born gay, even though sexual orientation, for most humans, seems to be the product of a complex interaction between innate predispositions and environmental factors during childhood and early adolescence” (page 184);

    “Muddy the moral waters”, that is, to undercut the rationalization that justify religious opposition… this entails publicizing support by moderate churches and raising serious theological objections” (page 179);

    Portray opposing churches “as antiquated backwaters”, badly out of step with the time and with the latest findings of psychology (page 179);

    Jam the self-righteous pride by linking to a disreputable hate group (page 235);

    The main thing is to talk about gayness until the issue becomes thoroughly tiresome (page 178);

    Argue that all opposing disagreements to homosexual behavior is rooted in “Homophobia, Homohatred, and Prejudice” (page 112)

    It is acceptable to call people “Homophobic” or “Homohaters” if they do not agree 100% with homosexual views, opinions, or behavior. (page xxiii)

    A media campaign should portray only the most favorable side of gays (page 170);

    Show others accepting gays and homosexuals (page 241);

    portray heterosexuals as being like Aryans and people who are against homosexual behavior as “Nazis” and “Clansman”.

    Portray homosexual persecution as identical to Jewish persecution (page 57, 62, );

    portray homosexual persecution as identical to racial prejudice of Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics (inferring inborn) (page 62, 73);

    Portray American opposition as based solely on prejudiced, outdated, and hypocritical Victorian morals (page 51)

    All sexual morality should be abolished (pages 64 to 67);

    All speech that is opposing homosexual behavior should be banned under “clear and present danger to public order” (page 101)

    All and any news or media coverage that presents homosexual in negative form is prejudiced and invalid (page 54);

    Everyone comes out must be prepped by a media campaign carefully crafted, repeatedly displayed mass-media images of gays (page 169);

    “Gay activists have tried to manipulate the American judicial system.” Sometimes the tactic works: many executive orders (which side step the democratic process) and ordinances passed by city councils now protect certain rights (page 171);

    “Employ images that desensitize, jam, and/or convert on an emotional level” (page 173);

    “Gain access to the kinds of public media that would automatically confer legitimacy upon these messages and sponsors” (page 173);

    “Ambivalent skeptics” are our most promising targets (page 176)…

    Associate gay cause with “talk about racism, sexism, militarism, poverty, and all the conditions that oppress the un-empowered.” (page 181)

    Project gays as victims of circumstance and oppression, not as aggressive challengers (page 183);

    “Mustachioed and leathered men, drag queens, and bull dykes” should not appear in gay commercials and other public presentations (until later after wide acceptance) (page 183);

    Groups on the farthest margins of acceptability, such as NAMBLA, must play no part at all in the media campaign (page 184);

    Gays should be portrayed as victims of prejudice…graphic pictures of brutalized gays, dramatizations of job and housing insecurity, loss of child custody, public humiliation… (page 185);

    In time we see no reason why more and more diversity should not be introduced into the projected image (i.e., drag queens, pedophiles, etc.) (page 186);

    Infer and speculate that famous historical figures were gay for two reasons: first, they are dead as a door nail, hence in no position to deny the truth and sue for libel; (page 188)

    In TV and print, images of victimizers can be combined with those of their gay victims by a method propagandists call the “bracket technique” (page 190);

    The media campaign will reach straights on an emotional level, casting gays as society’s victims and inviting straights to be their protectors (page 187);

    We like television because it’s the most graphic and intrusive medium for our message (page 201)

    Over the long-term, “television and magazines” are probably the media of choice (page 204);

    Ads must manage to get the word gay into the headline or tagline (page 207);

    Each message should tap public sentiment, patriotic, or otherwise, and drill an unimpeachable agreeable proposition into the mainstreams head (page 208);

    Several years down the road, our tactics will have carved out, slice by slice, a large portion of access to mainstream media (page 213);

    Associate and link gays to good causes and non-controversial activities (page 219);

    The more people who appear to practice homosexuality, and the more innate it appears to be, the less abnormal and objectionable, and the more legitimate it will seem (which is why it is important to maintain claims to 10% of the population)(page 217)

    Stage candid interviews with gays who appear as solid citizens. Subjects in commercials should be interviewed alone, not with their lovers (for now) (page 247);

    Most people derive their impressions of the world through the national media (page 250);

    It will be a sheer delight to besmirch our tormentors, but we cannot waste our resources on revenge alone (page 189);

  165.  #165Mel on July 12, 2011 at 7:50 am

    Hey Rusty,

    LonePlum posted some links to videos a while back. One of them was on “game playing.”

    I wonder if you may find it helpful….?

    I found it interesting that while one person may initiate the “game” it only works if the other person willingly participates. This can be a long-standing pattern that develops and BOTH people get some sort of payoff from being involved in the game.

    One thing I’ve really learned through all of this (the hard way) is that we can really only change ourselves. But deciding not to play the game (OR initiate it) is something I can do.

  166.  #166Mel on July 12, 2011 at 7:54 am

    Skipping over post #160….

  167.  #167Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 7:55 am

    Marni Battista

    When you’re still haunted by your ex, you’re letting your past choose your future.

  168.  #168Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 8:00 am


    Me too and I won’t say anything else right now.

  169.  #169Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 8:02 am


    Man…Mel. Do you feel it? Can you see it in yourself? You are a Rock Star.

  170.  #170Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 8:08 am

    OK, here was the situation this morning.

    A long time ago, I tried my wife’s razor. I wanted to see what the difference in shaves would be. See, i started thinking with logic. Why does my razor go dull so fast. We have the technology to make them last much longer. But the idea behind the marketing is to make you keep coming back for more razors. If you get access to one of those guys who has the liquid oxygen tanks where they can control the temp, and take it down slowly and bring it back up slowly, you can make a razor blade last almost forever. This technology is used for many industrial applications. Somehow it aligns the molecules in a tighter, stronger formation.

    So anyway, I thought with logic, that a woman’s razor shaves a whole lot more hair, but stays sharp as long as a man’s.

    Well, the wife got mad that I used it, and of course had to advertise the fact that she had been trespassed upon to everyone we know. Well her and a friend were out one day so her friend bought another female razor for me.

    It never gets used, and sits behind my wife’s razor in the shower. Well this morning, I decide I need to shave while in the shower. I had a choice. use that razor, or get out, track water around, and get my razor. I chose the former.

    Wife comes in, sees me using that one in the shower. Goes berzerk. Evidently she had it in her mind that this razor is now hers also. I remind her that in fact this was my razor, though I never use it.

    But now the whole morning is an experience of scowls and irritated demeanor out of her. I make us lunch, finishing the tuna salad, and adding my other good things to my large lunch box cooler.

    The plan was for me to ride in with her and sit in a McD’s while working on my online class.

    But she keeps acting the injured party over NOTHING. So I held out the lunch box to her and told her to take it. I wasn’t going. In an irritated voice, she says to get in the car.

    The whole way she still wants to act the injured party.

    This is why her ex made the statement to me in confidence that she likes drama.

    i don’t see it as liking drama, i see it as having a very thin skin coupled with a need to have her feelings of being trespassed upon validated. She wants her ounce of blood. She wants to keep score and make sure you know she has been injured.

    problem is, she usually isn’t injured. It’s usually about nothing, like this. And other times, it’s about her selfishness. Everything has to be her way or she will make you pay, just like today.

    I just wish we could have nice quiet and loving times more often like we did for a few days, just a few days ago. Like the 6th through the 8th of July. Everything was clam, affectionate and loving. I want more of that.

  171.  #171Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 8:16 am


    Men get scared. They have emotions. They doubt
    themselves. They wonder if they look okay. They
    compare themselves to the men around them. When you remember that men are human too, you can stop trying to hide your emotions and your nervousness.
    So, rather than having your attention on hiding
    parts of you, be proud of who you are. I used to
    feel ashamed that I can be high-strung. I acted
    laid back and was afraid a man would run away if
    he saw the Type A side of my personality. Now I
    can laugh at it and we can laugh at it together!

    Then, take your attention off yourself and get curious about him. Ask him questions about himself. When you ask with appreciation and respect, you make it safe for him to be vulnerable with you. Then you can be human together!

    There is an art to inspiring a man to commit to you, but you have to start from honoring his truth, rather than disregarding it and hoping it will change!

    Women have a deep desire to know we’re loved.

    Men have a deep desire to know they’re useful
    and needed.

    So let men know how much you appreciate the
    time and energy he put into what he did for you or
    gave you, even if it’s not to your satisfaction!


    A man I know told me a story about a woman he was dating with bright red hair…

    One day he picked her up and she’d dyed her hair black. He was shocked. He loved her fiery red hair. When he asked her why she did it, she said, “I saw you looking at women with black hair!”

    When he told me this I yelped, as though I was punched in the stomach. I realized she’d dyed her
    hair without knowing the whole truth.

    Men love variety. If you have blonde hair, you’ll probably find your man looking at brunettes and red heads. If you’re a brunette, he’ll look at blondes and red heads. It’s important to remember that you can’t be everything to a man!

    It can be frustrating when a man you’re with looks at other women. And of course there is a need for balance. If he can’t keep his eyes off other women that’s one thing. But most men find lots of women attractive. And it doesn’t always mean he doesn’t want you.

    When you can be playful or vulnerable with this, rather than immediately making him wrong, he’ll feel closer to you and grateful that he doesn’t have to put a part of himself in a box.

    A man not looking at other women’s beauty is like a woman not looking at babies, puppies, or shoes!

    Starting to play with your own variety – how you dress, walk, talk and dance – will keep a man enticed!

    I used to find myself saying “That’s not me,” when I went shopping. And while that can be true, I’m now willing to try things on and expand who I know myself to be!

    Now, on some days I bring out my intellectual side. Other days I let my pole dancer come out and shake things up. Still other days I bring out my hippie, earthy side. I now have more facets than I ever thought possible!

    Love, Shana

  172.  #172Mel on July 12, 2011 at 8:17 am

    Hey Rusty,

    Could you try making a little joke when she gets testy over something? It seems like you two are feeding off of each others’ annoyance.

    Like maybe with the razor: “Oh… sorry, I just wondered if it were possible to have my face feel as smooth as your beautiful legs! 😉

  173.  #173Starla on July 12, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Mel 161..I want to see this video! Any idea on what i should google for or youtube search for?

  174.  #174Mel on July 12, 2011 at 8:20 am

    If you look on the sidebar, this is the first in a series of 3 videos. All three are worth watching… Thanks again LonePlum! 🙂

  175.  #175Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 8:21 am

    I don’t blame you Mel, or Lilybelle. The battle is long over. but I wanted to justify Gina’s posts, for which I felt she was attacked a bit.

    I did a research paper on this very subject. It’s called bandwagoning. I used much of this in my presentation to show how those who wish to get you on their bandwagon do so. Very few things in print are as blatant as “After the Ball.”

    These were not my words, they were words taken directly from that book, written by two high level advertising executives, who also happen to be gay.

    This was what one of them had to say in that book.

    “Please don’t confuse Conversion with political Subversion. The word ‘subversion’ has a nasty ring, of which the American people are inordinately afraid–and on their guard against. Yet, ironically, by Conversion we actually mean something far more profoundly threatening to the American Way of Life, without which no truly sweeping social change can occur. We mean conversion of the average American’s emotions, mind, and will, through a planned psychological attack, in the form of propaganda fed to the nation via the media. We mean ‘subverting’ the mechanism of prejudice to our own ends–using the very processes that made America hate us to turn their hatred into warm regard–whether they like it or not.”

    In short, it is winner take all. I am tolerant, but he states here and throughout the book that tolerance is not their end goal. That I (we) must have warm regard for gays is the end goal. That’s not tolerance. Tolerance has nothing to do with it if you have warm regard. Tolerance is accepting and living with something you disagree with. The hijacking of the world homophobic was done to stamp out any and all disagreement by labeling it with such a nasty term.

    My point here is to point out that all views are not tolerated. This country was founded on religious freedom, but religion is under attack like never before. Why? It states why in that post you skipped. They ask their followers to attack the church at every level unless the church is a moderate church and accepts their lifestyle. They see the church as being in their way.

    So my point stands. All views are not tolerated. The battle is over and a clear winner is all but declared.

  176.  #176Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 8:23 am

    168: Mel says:

    Hey Rusty,

    Could you try making a little joke when she gets testy over something? It seems like you two are feeding off of each others’ annoyance.

    Like maybe with the razor: “Oh… sorry, I just wondered if it were possible to have my face feel as smooth as your beautiful legs! 😉


    Yeah, I could probably try that.

  177.  #177Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Rusty men and women are different. Also that sounds like a little emotional girl. She might not be responding to you or the situation but something in her childhood that taught her to protect herself by fighting. It sounds immature and what I have learnt is that maturity inspires maturity. It might take you looking at the situation for what it is but choosing to respond in a mature manner rather than a logic way to get her to change. You have to be the change you want to see in her. I sense that you might say that you have been doing that and my response would be it is obviously not creating what you want. Until that happens it might be that you have to continue to change until you hit the right combination.

  178.  #178Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 8:24 am


    Skipping again.

  179.  #179Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 8:25 am

    In fact…I’m leaving for awhile.

    Be well.

  180.  #180Starla on July 12, 2011 at 8:31 am

    Rusty, I can really relate to your wife. I react the same way. I’m not saying it’s “fair” but when you’re in love and in a committed relationship, sometimes you just have to accept that people are the way they are.

    So with her, I would have lowered the tone of my voice, looked her in the eye, and said “hey, i am so sorry you’re feeling upset right now.” Walk up to her, and put your hand on the back of her neck gently. Tell her everything’s okay, and you know why she’s mad and it’s okay. You didn’t mean anything by using her razor, and if it makes her feel better you’ll get her a new one, but you’d like to start with a big hug. Then hug her. Tell her you’re not out to get her.

    Yes, i know it seems unfair. You shouldn’t “have” to do any of that stuff.

    And yet, you’re with this woman. You kind of do have to.

    I feel awful for your wife. Not because you are a bad person (you’re not) but because she has no emotional skin. What a tragic way to live. It is the worst, most hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through, and I have been robbed, assaulted, held hostage… yet it’s the relationship stuff that ruins my day and my life.

    Much love

  181.  #181Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 8:33 am

    167: Femininewoman

    It can be frustrating when a man you’re with looks at other women. And of course there is a need for balance. If he can’t keep his eyes off other women that’s one thing. But most men find lots of women attractive. And it doesn’t always mean he doesn’t want you.

    When you can be playful or vulnerable with this, rather than immediately making him wrong, he’ll feel closer to you and grateful that he doesn’t have to put a part of himself in a box.


    This goes both ways. I saw both my mom and dad, and her sister and husband do this with each other. My dad had a thing for Dolly Parton, my mom had a thing for Tom Jones. My aunt had a thing for Elvis Presley. She would joke to my uncle that she would never cheat on him…unless Elvis knocked on her door, in which case, she was gone.

    now of course he could have gotten all upset over this, but he knew it was really nothing, and besides, what were the odds of Elvis knocking on their door? pretty much none. Granted my aunt was pretty, and voted sexiest in her class her senior year, but no, Elvis wasn’t going to come knocking.

    My B-I-L had a thing for Shania Twain, and Sheena Easton. My older sister grew up seeing all of this so of course she didn’t really care, or let it bother her. Besides, she has her own ‘crushes.”

    So much better when you can just be honest and have fun with it.

    Most people don’t have that. They live lives full of lies and deceit.

  182.  #182gina on July 12, 2011 at 8:41 am

    but I am not anti-gay, I just think that the “pro-gay” agenda is anti family and is a reason why we find dating so difficult nowadays.

    I’ve read stuff about how the feminist movement of the 1960’s was a perversion of the original women’s lib movement – it was pushed on the masses by the higher ups in order to get women working so that their income would be taxable and so that kids would be raised by the state, instead of families, and would be indoctrinated at an earlier age.

    btw, I’m totally pro individual rights. I think the gay agenda is something totally different – like Rusty is saying

    one reason why the higher ups want to destroy the family unit is because it leaves us as lonely and dissatisfied individuals who have needs that aren’t being met on a deep level, and so we can endlessly try to appease ourselves with consumerism.

  183.  #183Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 8:43 am

    Sorry you feel that way Lilybelle. But it was their words, not my own that I posted.

    I hold no ill will toward anyone. but I have learned that there is no tolerance of a diversity of opinions. I learned that through my research. This book taught me much about that.

    Also, in a way, yours and Mel’s reactions back that up.

    And I’ve seen that play out on this blog with some pretty serious fights over differences of opinion.

  184.  #184Starla on July 12, 2011 at 8:44 am

    Hi Gina, I don’t know if you saw my comment above, but I am curious about your energy shift you mentioned, and how D finally contacted you once you shifted. I would like to shift my energy! Tell me more:)

  185.  #185gina on July 12, 2011 at 8:47 am

    but irregardless of her message, the main thing that I feel is important to at least consider and have a solid opinion on is whether she is an artist acting on her own accord, or if she is pushing the agenda of the world elite. This other article about her goes into more detail about the puppeteers – or at least it shows the strings that control her. I’m super curious what others think.

  186.  #186Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 8:48 am

    178: gina says:

    but I am not anti-gay,


    Neither am I. I am not pro gay, I am not anti-gay. I personally don’t care what other people do. But at the same time, I am not actually endorsing gay either. I don’t see it as normal, but then, I don’t want to push my definition of normal on others.

    The problem I have is that my “tolerance’ isn’t enough. That my live and let live attitude isn’t enough. having my own opinion, contrary to the popular opinion make me somehow wrong.

    In short, their is no tolerance for my opinion. I can live with that though. I don’t live my life just to make everybody happy.

  187.  #187Mel on July 12, 2011 at 8:48 am

    “I have learned that there is no tolerance of a diversity of opinions.” Also, in a way, yours and Mel’s reactions back that up.

    I just choose not to get involved in a debate of this nature. That is how I tolerate diversity. Knowing how I feel and being okay with the fact that not everyone agrees. I don’t feel I need to convince anyone. Just don’t want to participate.

  188.  #188Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 8:50 am

    181: gina says:

    but irregardless of her message, the main thing that I feel is important to at least consider and have a solid opinion on is whether she is an artist acting on her own accord, or if she is pushing the agenda of the world elite. This other article about her goes into more detail about the puppeteers – or at least it shows the strings that control her. I’m super curious what others think.


    They clearly don’t act on their own. Katy Perry, as I posted, was totally rejected until she agreed to change her message.

    I read a blog by her mom and they are basically mortified by this whole thing.

  189.  #189Dorothea on July 12, 2011 at 8:54 am

    Thank you for posting the video link, Mel

    This is quite dense for me. I will probably need to watch this a few times to “get” it lol

  190.  #190Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 8:56 am

    RE 179 Rusty I have to tell you that to me it seems you are making assumptions about Lilybelle’s response to what you posted. She made no comments aside from the fact that she skipped over it. Did it occur to you that it might be too long and she is busy focusing on something else so she cannot read it? At least for me the first one was so long I felt immediately intimidated so up until now I have not read through it as yet. You might be right in your assumption but the truth is that she really did not say much. As a matter of fact it could even be the same situation for me. They said they were skipping it and in doing so I can’t imagine what type of reaction they could possibly have about it.

  191.  #191Starla on July 12, 2011 at 8:56 am

    At the risk of never being taken seriously, I seriously entertain the notion that these pop stars are illuminati mind slaves.

    In my opinion, it’s a perfectly valid theory, like all other theories.

    I’ve seen enough in my political career to believe that there is a world elite with sinister motives.

  192.  #192Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 8:58 am

    RE 186 I meant the same for Mel but I see she posted her reason above.

  193.  #193gina on July 12, 2011 at 9:00 am

    DE, I’m curious about whether you even read the article. I am confused about why you mention “morals” – i don’t see how that plays into the article. The article is about how there is a shadow government, known as the Illuminati, running the show. They have no interest in your freedom of expression, they want to control you by convincing you that you are free when you are actually playing right into their hands. Lady Gaga leads the way. Stephanie Germanousky, or whatever her name is, is a good sweet girl and an amazing artist. Lady Gaga is a work of art, engineered by the higher ups and the real girl is a vehicle. a puppet.
    I feel very uncomfortable saying so, but I’ve spent many hours researching, and that is what I have found.

  194.  #194Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 9:01 am

    Possible FW, and if so I apologize, but it the second one wasn’t very long. So it appeared to me anyway, that my assumption was correct.

    I don’t judge her for it either. I learned in my research that most people, like Mel, simply don’t want to be involved. My research also turned up, in this book, that is part of their goal. To beat people down to the point that they don’t want to participate.

    The goal in this type of bandwagoning is to make those who will speak, feel like they are isolated in their thinking. So by not participating, you may still are, in a way. Like the saying in that Rush song, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

  195.  #195Vicky on July 12, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Rori, I think I royally screwed up. Need your help. Was just beginning to date a guy, we facebooked, and texted for over a month. Great sex and he called me for 4 days after ward but I was busy. then 5th day he called early in the evening, said he said he was going to be home and we agreed i’d come to see him. then 10 minutes later i’m in my car and on my way and he texts me and tells me he’s on his way out of the house, he got a reminder call of a party he had committed to. Well i freaked – knee jerk reaction – i said a horrible thing – i said that while he was at the party he could go “F” himself then. It just did’nt make sense I guess I felt like he was lying to me or just dropped me for something better to do. He was really shocked and texted me “where did this come from?” and I told him I was feeling upset because I was already on my way and had really wanted to see him, and asked him to forgive me and said I was sorry, and told him he has a right to do what he wants to do. But since then i haven’t heard from him except 1 text. He said he just wants to be alone for awhile. That was over a week ago.

    Rori – is there anything more I should say? Some feeling statement? I did tell him I was feeling really sorry and apolgized again via text last week.

    Is there anyway I can correct this? I really really like this guy. I don’t know why I reacted so strongly so quickly.


  196.  #196Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 9:07 am

    Gina, it was pointed out to me that in a song I liked, the artists, Jay-Z, Rhianna, and Kanye West all flash the Illuminati symbol multiple times. I looked and it was true. I also was shown video of many other pop icons and big time athletes doing the same. One of which was Lebron James.

    Somewhat disturbing.

    Keep in mind also that pop icons aren’t just a vehicle, they are a cover, a distraction. After the rich and powerful were beheaded in France, the world’s elite realized how vulnerable they were. Thus the need to have rich & famous people to distract the masses away from the truly rich.

    Do you even know what any of the Vanderbilts, or Rockefellers, Rothschilds, etc.. look like? They have successfully diverted attention away from themselves.

  197.  #197gina on July 12, 2011 at 9:09 am

    Pop stars are illuminati slaves…I was just typing that to feel it out. And it feels CRAZY! but there is a HUGE MASSIVE Masonic temple right around the corner from where I live Downtown, and there is illuminati symbolism all over – in sculptures, architecture, logos, etc right in my neighborhood. I feel sorta giddy, though to feel like I understand mysterious things better. I just try to make sure that learning about this stuff feels good. I find it fascinating, and I want to gain awareness and autonomy so that I am free to fulfill my individual destiny and purpose.

  198.  #198Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 9:10 am

    Anyway, I don’t think we are going to solve the whole Illuminati problem on this blog, so I shall desist. 😉

  199.  #199Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 9:12 am

    RE 192 My only reaction to such info is what can I do about that? Is there anything I can do to change that reality? And if not, why would I put my energy into gather info about them?

  200.  #200Starla on July 12, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Those families really look like reptiles.
    Just kidding.
    Sort of.

    I am feeling very protective of the object of this blog and the posters here, and I think this conversation should be held somewhere else. Not here.

    I am not saying I want you to stop talking. I’m just processing what I’m feeling. I feel triggered on both sides.

    But you’re talking to a girl who’s dedicated much of her adult life and career to fightin’ the power:P

  201.  #201Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 9:13 am

    RE 194 Oh I see I already had the answer before I posted 195

  202.  #202Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 9:19 am

    FW, the only thing you can do is not participate in it. Don’t allow yourself personally to be enslaved. It’s all anyone can do. That and talk to friends about it so that they too will resist being enslaved.

    Live your life for your own enrichment, not the monetary enrichment of others.

  203.  #203gina on July 12, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Derek and I spoke last night and I felt so turned on and into him. He started laughing at me cause he said it sounded like I was purring like a kitten. It didn’t feel good when he laughed – it was like he was resisting a very powerful invitation. And that felt a little frustrating. But I did purr and and I was alluring as I could be. And he told me how MISERABLE he is in Boston – for all the reasons why I didn’t want to go. And now I actually do feel like I want to be there even more. But not if he’s drinking. But he said “do what you gotta do, Baby…” And I dont’t even know what he meant – and he may have meant that he’s seeing someone. And somehow I don’t care…it was the sexiest thing anybody ever said to me “do what you gotta do, Baby…’ LOVED that! Anyhoo, the energy shift is that I know that love is right there, I just need to match up to it. And I think maybe I sunk a little too deep by getting as TURNED ON as I was – and I let him know all about it. I feel a litle embarrassed about that. And I wonder if that is just me trying to get him. And obviously it is. But it’s true that I do want him that badly. I wonder how it is for a guy to hear that a woman is wanting them super badly? Does that feel like she’s leaning forward. Or isn’t it hot to know that she wants you??
    Anyhoo, he was controlling himself to a degree and holding back. But all the warmthg and love and connection was there. I was completely warm, and when he said that he hadn’t called me because I b*tched at him, I just said “I don’t blame you”. But now I feel good to vibe with other guys, and I KNOW that mofo loves me, and I feel the vibes happening between us even though we haven’t spoken, and he’s across the country.
    the energy shift was that I forgave him and saw how I sucked, too. I stopped feeling angry and blamey and started to feel the love underneath, and then I totally felt connection with that Cris guy the other night, and that just made me feel open to the possibility of love all around. So I don’ put the same pressure on my relationship with Derek. Oh – and I focused on myself as a vibrational being and I became determined to line up with love. So I don’t have to worry about men, I just worry about lining up with love. I experienced how it works!!!

  204.  #204gina on July 12, 2011 at 9:25 am

    I find that people are influenced by pop culture in ways they may not be conscious of. You are what you consume. And so much of what we consume is provided for us by corporations who’s interest are money and power. I think what we can do is take some of that power back by doing simple things, like staying out of debt, gardening, creating art, supporting local arts, supporting local business, create joyful relationships…lots of things, but mostly, be weary of getting swept up in the mainstream.

  205.  #205Starla on July 12, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Thanks for sharing, Gina! I am looking forward to a more positive future in this way myself!

  206.  #206Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Gina, is it possible that Derek laughed out of joy and amusement? I can see myself in that situation and being very happy about you purring. Being amused by someone you love is not a bad thing at all. In fact, it is a very good thing. I would see it as a good kind of amused.

    If I were him, I would be disappointed if you never purred again. In short, what I am trying to say is it seems to me that you were making him happy.

    I don’t see it as him laughing at you, especially not in a demeaning way. More of a laughing because you made him happy.

  207.  #207Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 9:30 am


    lol let’s finish the chorus from Rush,….it matters:

    You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
    You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
    I will choose a path that’s clear
    I will choose freewill

  208.  #208Starla on July 12, 2011 at 9:32 am

    Yessss, Rush! This blog is a cool place today

  209.  #209Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 9:38 am

    @178: gina says:
    “…but I am not anti-gay, I just think that the “pro-gay” agenda is anti family and is a reason why we find dating so difficult nowadays…”

    Paranoid nonsense. This sound similar to “The Great Jewish International Conspiracy.” BTW, I heard someone say “I’m not ant-Semitic I just don’t like Jews.” I’ve met one or two homosexual men with some wacko ideas but probably not more so than can be found in the general population of heterosexuals.

    “…I’ve read stuff about how the feminist movement of the 1960′s was a perversion of the original women’s lib movement – it was pushed on the masses by the higher ups ..”

    LOL LOL LOL 😆 I was alive and well in the 1960s and what you wrote is more paranoid nonsense. Perhaps you experienced the 1960s in a different way than I did but you’ve gone around the bend with conspiracy theories. Or perhaps you’d simply like to return to an era when adult females had the same contractual rights BY LAW as “infants and idiots” which is to say … NONE. Did you just skip over those parts?

    Homosexual men have nothing to do with your dating problems unless you limit yourself to dating homosexual men.

    Are you a neo-Nazi? Would you admit it? I bet you wouldn’t. 😛

  210.  #210Kyla on July 12, 2011 at 9:38 am

    I feel thrilled!

    Spent what felt like a wasted afternoon with my solicitor as ex husband’s solicitor had drafted the papers wrong and we had to go through them line by line correcting them and couldn’t sign. Then as I was leaving I felt filled with hope when my lawyer informed me I DON’T have to wait another 4 years to apply for divorce here as I can apply in Canada instead woohoo!

    I feel a slight release from the earlier feelings of depression. I feel physically lighter.

  211.  #211Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 9:43 am

    @179: Rusty says:
    “…Sorry you feel that way Lilybelle. But it was their words, not my own that I posted….”

    Weasel words! You wrote you posted what you did in order to “justify” another poster’s comments.

    I’d say “own it or take it down” but I don’t think there’s a way to edit comments on the Rori blog….

    You chose those words for the reason you stated and now you write…. oh, it wasn’t me… it was them.. (tiny child voice…)

    Oh, Rusty….

  212.  #212Starla on July 12, 2011 at 9:46 am

    SLV, there is a great international Jewish conspiracy. It’s called Israel, and it was the single largest recipient of US aid from 1976-2004.

    But to be clear…it is not a “Jewish” conspiracy. It is a nationlist and racist ISRAELI conspiracy.

    I met a number of Israelis visiting my city during the Democratic National Convention who considered themselves atheists but nonetheless proudly supported what they considered their country’s right to subordinate the Palestinian people.

  213.  #213Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 9:48 am

    What would you do if you 100% accepted that there is no way of being heard or understood when the other person is closed to learning, and there is no way you are going to hear or understand when you are closed to learning?

    What to do when You Can’t Communicate

    The first thing to do is to check in with yourself and make sure that you are open to learning. If you check in and discover you are closed, angry, blaming, defensive or stressed, or that you have an agenda, then you either need to shift your intent from controlling to learning, or you need to accept that this is not a good time for you to talk. You might say, “I think I’m feeling too frustrated right now to talk about this. Let’s try again in half an hour.” Then you disengage, and do some inner work to get yourself open and caring and then go back and try again.

    If you check in and you are open, the next thing to do might seem simple, but it’s incredibly challenging for most of us. You need to 100% accept that, if you are stuck in communicating, the other person is not open, and that there is nothing you can do about it. It’s very hard for most of us to accept that we have no control over whether another person chooses to be open or closed, caring or uncaring, controlling or accepting.

    If you 100% accepted your lack of control over the other person’s intention, and 100% accepted that you can’t resolve anything when one person is closed, then you can take loving action in your own behalf.

  214.  #214Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Vicky – What are you doing? Why are you driving to “go see” any man? And why would you APOLOGIZE for being pissed that he broke your date at the last minute and left his house without INVITING you to the party? You are demonstrating what looks and seems like doormat behavior. What you are thinking and saying and doing looks like (to any man) desperate, neediness. THIS is where you need to work – and we’re all here to turn this around for you! Circular Date!! Allow men to COME TO YOU – not y0u to them…Love, Rori

  215.  #215Dorothea on July 12, 2011 at 9:49 am

    OMG Gina is not a Neo Nazi. D is hispanic! Lol I feel amused.

    Those who use labels like nazi and racist and bigot to call out someone with beliefs they see as ignorant…well technically they are really just as blind and ignorant.

  216.  #216Dorothea on July 12, 2011 at 9:50 am

    I really suck at remembering to use my new name here=/ Must. clear. cookies.

  217.  #217Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 9:58 am

    Rusty – I’m a bit concerned about how quick your wife is to jump on you, and wonder how the rest of your relationship is going…do you suppose there might be some deep well of anger built up over things that would actually be of value to talk about? Have you ever tried to “facilitate” her feelings instead of working (as almost all of us instinctively do) to smooth things over? I work a lot with men around this – if you’d like some help, let me know – I’ll write a post about how a man can facilitate a woman to open up…and bravo to you for being here and being so steadfast and helpful. Love, Rori

  218.  #218Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 9:59 am

    @158: Femininewoman says:
    “…RE 152 I read it SLV. You are so funny. I don’t make reference anymore to avoid any triggers around it. I took some value from the email though but felt it was a bit harsh….”

    You’re so funny too. I understand about not wanting to reference. The male dating coach can be blunt, irreverent and sometimes harsh, occasionally a jackass. But he is very strong on method, keeping on task and writes in a humorous way. Oops, sounds like me, maybe that’s why I continue to read him even though I have found him annoying in the past.

    And FW, it gets a little sad for me reading posts of women who are attracted (over and over OMG) to men who don’t treat them well. And the women continue to aid and abet. What’s up with that?

    The male dating coach says “dump” like a hot potato. I prefer Rori’s way of disengaging and taking care of ourselves. But sometimes it helps to learn where to look to find the “sell-by” date!


  219.  #219Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 10:05 am

    211: Dorothea says:

    OMG Gina is not a Neo Nazi. D is hispanic! Lol I feel amused.

    Those who use labels like nazi and racist and bigot to call out someone with beliefs they see as ignorant…well technically they are really just as blind and ignorant.


    I was going to post that I wasn’t surprised somebody hauled out the “Nazi” label. Which once again proves what I was saying. My research brought out this very thing, that such words are meant to shame and belittle those with views that oppose our own. It is meant to silence them.

    And SLV, I do own posting those words, which is far different than being the author of them. You are intelligent enough to see the difference.

    here’s something else for fun.

    “Godwin’s law is a humorous observation made by Mike Godwin in 1990, which has become an Internet adage. It states: “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1 (100%).” In other words, Godwin put forth the hyperbolic observation that, given enough time, in any online discussion—regardless of topic or scope—someone inevitably criticizes some point made in the discussion by comparing it to beliefs held by Hitler and the Nazis”

    Seems relevant at the moment. 😉

  220.  #220Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 10:08 am

    213: Rori Raye says:

    Rusty – I’m a bit concerned about how quick your wife is to jump on you, and wonder how the rest of your relationship is going…do you suppose there might be some deep well of anger built up over things that would actually be of value to talk about? Have you ever tried to “facilitate” her feelings instead of working (as almost all of us instinctively do) to smooth things over? I work a lot with men around this – if you’d like some help, let me know – I’ll write a post about how a man can facilitate a woman to open up…and bravo to you for being here and being so steadfast and helpful. Love, Rori


    When we can get a moment to just sit down, i want to discuss these things with her. She found our “talking stick” which is just one of my old heavy duty paint stirring sticks with the words written on it.

    I’ve posted before about this method and want to employ it as soon as possible.

  221.  #221Vicky on July 12, 2011 at 10:09 am


    thanks for responding so quickly. I was mostly apologizing for the words I used. I do still feel it was way wrong for him to cancel at this last second and to not invite me. I even texted him and said ‘if it were me I would invite you” and he just starting saying he has the right to do what he wants. So i went with the energy and said yes you do.

    I was mostly upset that I used those bad words.

    But you are right, i should not be going to him anyway. After this, I told him I needed to be just myself for awhile and for him to have a good summer. I figured if i pushed him away … if he liked me at all …. then we could start over again in the future.

  222.  #222Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 10:14 am


    while I may be wrong, it just seems to me that she doesn’t even realize how fast and hard she jumps. I wonder sometimes if I had a video camera hidden, and then allowed herself to watch, she might be shocked by what she sees.

    She does seem to have this deep need to advertise to the heavens that she has been trespassed upon. But, it should be noted that others are not allowed to be melodramatic about their beliefs that she has trespassed upon them. This is a very one sided thing with her.

    In addition, she puts far far more value on objects than I do. Things mean very little to me in the long run. I don’t like fighting over material objects. Just seems like a waste of energy.

  223.  #223Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 10:15 am

    @211: Dorothea says:
    “…OMG Gina is not a Neo Nazi. D is hispanic! Lol I feel amused…”

    Did you mistakenly conclude that speaking Spanish excludes one from having a head full of neo-Nazi conspiracy theory junk? LOL LOL

    You might be amused but it’d be better if you were thoughtful.

    Here are some more lopsided loopy conclusions. I’ve run across. The “LOL I feel amused” added is mine so as to increase the amusement factor. If not spoken in each instance, like Dorothea’s, it was probably thought… Hahaha the thought of it….!!!

    “…OMG Joe is not a Republican. Joe is Puerto Rican! Lol I feel amused…”

    “…OMG Joe doesn’t go to museums. Joe is Black! Lol I feel amused…”

    “…OMG Mary’s is not thinking about going to medical school. Mary is a girl! Lol I feel amused…”

    “…OMG Mary doesn’t read The Wall Street Journal. Mary lives in the ghettl! Lol I feel amused…”

    Duh… I won’t bother to go on. In my life I’ve heard lots of these kind of comments. In your life you’ve probably made lots of these kinds of comments.

    I realize I’m in the Rori blog “Intellectual Free Zone” as some women here have hopefully declared it to be. It’s still disappointing sometimes to actually read it.

    Don’t you worry you’re ever going to attract pointy-headed guys who only want to give you instruction lists and cause you to cry?


  224.  #224Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 10:15 am

    I feel compelled to invite us all not to go down the rabbit hole of name calling.

  225.  #225Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 10:16 am

    Rusty, Gina, and all – please, please stay away from politics, conspiracy theory and religion. Why? Because that gets us in our heads – and what we’re all about here is our hearts. You, as a man – need to be in your head – but here – you need to facilitate heart connections – so that’s YOUR work here. Encouraging head stuff is off topic.

    To put the cap on this (because – well… it’s my blog!…): If your belief is that we are all being manipulated – then you will only see and experience manipulation. If you believe in freedom, on the deepest level – you will see and experience freedom. What is, is…but it can be “interpreted” in many, many ways. Just as statistics and facts and information can be interpreted in many ways, so can our emotions, reactions and thoughts. And so – we’re working on trusting ourselves, our feelings, and cultivating the belief that this world will become peaceful if we create peace within ourselves. We are choosing to believe in love, forgiveness, compassion, and an underlying thread of goodwill. We are choosing to believe that standing up for ourselves individually can change the world collectively, regardless of “powers” that “be,” or “seem to be.”

    As a deeper, final cap: In the course of my life, in the most painful times in my life, of the friends who saved my life (literally, emotionally, psychologically) many times over – most have been gay, and so I will not tolerate any conversation at all that talks about anyone else as “other.” We are all the same. We are all human. Period.

    Thank you for your research and your links, and your sharing of information – and please leave out intellectual discourse. Love, Rori

  226.  #226Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 10:18 am

    RE 218 Rusty I sense putting a lot of value on objects might be residual leftovers from a childhood where there wasn’t much.

  227.  #227Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 10:18 am

    BTW, I find it funny to note that Godwin’s Law originated in 1990, and that book I posted from above, which instructs followers tie any belief contrary to their own with Nazis, was released in 1989.

    Now here’s the thing, most have no clue where these things come from. For most, it’s simply a case of monkey see, monkey do. You see others employ something like this, and see how effective it is, so you emulate. It’s a human thing to do. Kids do this when they emulate how their favorite athlete does things on the field/court.

  228.  #228gina on July 12, 2011 at 10:20 am

    the 1960’s were strongly fueled by LSD becoming mainstream, and that was because the CIA was practicing mind control on unwitting Americans:

  229.  #229gina on July 12, 2011 at 10:21 am

    And, yeah – I am a conspiracy theorist, because I believe the mainstream media is a propaganda machine.

  230.  #230Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Um, what? you lost me. And then you really lost me at pointy headed guys. I feel bad cuz you clearly put a lot of effort in trying to discredit what I said, and yet I understand so very little of it. Maybe it will resonate with someone else, though.

    Moving on…

  231.  #231Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 10:23 am

    With you, SLV on magic..Love Rori

  232.  #232Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 10:25 am

    222: Femininewoman says:

    RE 218 Rusty I sense putting a lot of value on objects might be residual leftovers from a childhood where there wasn’t much.


    Probably right. We both lived lives of near poverty growing up, but it seems we came away with different lessons from that experience.

    While I enjoy “things,” I don’t put much emotion into them, and don’t see them as what makes me happy.

    When we were moving, I was facing the reality that I was going to have to pack light if I were going to Cali. I have a truck but with all of my tools, the space would be limited. So I was putting a lot of ‘sentimental” things to the side.

    She started crying over this and asked how I could just put them aside so casually, as if i don’t care about those things. Many of which she bought me. I said, “Because I don’t care about these things.”

    learned we are two different people with regards to stuff like this. She ties things to people, I don’t.

    She acknowledged that she does by stating so. By saying that if I didn’t care about those things, I didn’t care about her. This is 100% not true. I don’t tie things to people, even if it came form somebody…I don’t tie it emotionally to them.

    I am freer as a result. I am not a pack rat as she is. So many things have been toted around the world, literally, as a result of her being emotionally tied to them.

    one thing I realized about that razor is that while she knows it was given to me by her friend, an older lady, that friend is now dead, so she likely confiscated it as her own, in her mind, due to where it came from.

  233.  #233gina on July 12, 2011 at 10:26 am

    with all due respect – I find the pretense of your article is inherently flawed because you are speaking about Lady Gaga as an artist, and she is not. Lady Gaga is a work of art and she communicates powerful messages in the form of occult symbols. And, if she is an “Illuminati Slave”, what does it mean for us if we become like her?

  234.  #234Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 10:28 am

    Starla – I want to give you a hug, push you out the door and help you jump start your life….can we help you do that? Here’s the sticking place for you:

    They are the only hugs I have that mean anything to me.

    Is this true? Can you know it’s true? Who would you be if it wasn’t true? (short version of Byron Katie’s “The Work”).
    The place where we all get stuck is in deriving “meaning” from ANYTHING. Love, Rori

  235.  #235Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 10:28 am

    Re 229 Gina with all due respect – can I invite you to read 209 and maybe explore if there is something to be learned here?

  236.  #236Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:30 am

    I’ll take a Rori hug:) haha.

    If it wasn’t true, I would have others to give me hugs. But I don’t. So I am confused…can you help me understand a little better where you’re trying to direct me?


  237.  #237Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 10:32 am

    215: Rusty says:

    @211: Dorothea says:
    “…OMG Gina is not a Neo Nazi. D is hispanic! Lol I feel amused.
    Those who use labels like nazi and racist and bigot to call out someone with beliefs they see as ignorant…well technically they are really just as blind and ignorant…”

    Do you also think Gina has played the “Hispanic exemption” card. LOL LOL LOL :lol

    If so, I’ll give you and Dorothea the racist label as it now fits. I don’t think Gina is ignorant, perhaps gullible, less experienced and informed and believing she is “one of the masses.” She’s entitled to her point of view. I hope she doen’t become dangerous.

    Those who use the words nazi and racist and bigot aren’t automatically blind and ignorant, technically or otherwise. Gina sounds like a neo-Nazi perhaps she doesn’t know what that is and she just says these things all by herself. I imagine she has a little uniform and flag somewhere… maybe not. Just my imagination. My visual image of her is at least as real as the “pro-gay agenda” Whatever those agenda are.

    And, it wouldn’t be a real 1940’s Nazi group. Not the real thing. But there lots of little groups out there who have similar group missions.

    Oh, I’ve heard this one too…
    “He CAN’T BE a racist or commit genocide, he’s an African.” LOL LOL

    Fellow earthlings, fellow earthlings…

    I depart.

  238.  #238Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 10:34 am

    RE 228 Can I invite you Rusty to think of her with compassion. Pack rat is name calling, though I understand where you coming from. It even breeds contempt in my opinion.

    I know it is not 100% true but that is her opinion and how she sees it. Until you can accept that as valid and right you might be stuck. Every opinion is valid and the best way is to accept and look for a third way that works for both parties.

    I feel deep compassion in my heart for her seeing your words to her about not caring. I am imagining her putting a lot of energy and love into selecting those things for you. Maybe the reason she places sentimental value on it? I also see you as prioritizing based on the best thing at the moment. Not that you were right and she wrong.

  239.  #239Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 10:35 am

    @220: Femininewoman says:
    “..I feel compelled to invite us all not to go down the rabbit hole of name calling….

    You are so funny. :


  240.  #240Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 10:38 am

    @224: gina says:
    “…the 1960′s were strongly fueled by LSD becoming mainstream, and that was because the CIA was practicing mind control on unwitting Americans…”

    Did you keep a large suppy of tin foil during those times, the better to keep you and your fellow “vigilant citizens” away from CIA mind control? I saw some guy in the park doing that.


  241.  #241AmazingMe on July 12, 2011 at 10:40 am

    Re:132, No FW I do not have her EBook I only use the tools and things I learn from you wonderful sirens for I just cannot afford the extra expense but would love to read it:) Re:134 Patricia, That felt really good to read thank you for your kind words and input it felt nice to read….I know my body my emotional breakdown last night was do to my great womanly monthly experience. Maybe crazy lady a better term, nope it felt really good to let it all out and have your responses here on the blog! That is why we are all here…to learn and heal and yes it feels good.

  242.  #242Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Starla, It’s your BELIEF and INTERPRETATION that this man “means” so much to you that’s holding you back from exploring (my “6 E’s) and discovering what really IS out there for you!

    I CHOOSE to believe what feels most good to me (rather than choosing to believe that something actually IS “true). I experience what I experience as fully as I can and don’t try to pin a “label” on it.

    Therefore, I choose to believe that there is nothing but love. Meaning – if I feel fear, I can choose to see that there IS no fear, there is only the blocks I’ve created inside me to love. Therefore my only work is not to bother with clearing away the fear and pain and “negative stuff” – but to undo my blocks to love and let it flow.

    A good life’s work…but in one moment it can get you going in a new direction and change your life….Love, Rori

  243.  #243Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 10:42 am

    RE 237 Amazing Me you realize the eBook is really inexpensive? Not to minimize your financial situation, but it sounds to me that you would benefit from the info there. It is more than worth its value.

  244.  #244Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 10:44 am

    RE 238 and it feels so peaceful when that belief starts sinking in. At time I find it demobilizes my stress response.

  245.  #245FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 10:45 am

    I am open to reading/learning/considering information from many relationship coaches. The “take what you like and leave the rest” approach helps me see things from all perspectives. I don’t always agree, but there are times when seeing/thinking circumspectly allows me to find a balance in my choices I, otherwise, might not have.

    Could someone share the link or name of the article/e-mail some of you were talking about (‘Dump that guy’)…? I would like to read it and possibly other information/opinions from this coach (and any others that you Sirens find to be helpful or interesting.)

    Thanks… 🙂

  246.  #246Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Rori, thank you very much for elaborating.

    My belief is less about the man himself, and more about my aloneness in the world. No family, just a couple of real friends.

    And I guess, applying what you just stated, I could focus instead on removing blocks that keep me locked up in aloneness.

    I am going to meditate on this today.

    Thank you again

  247.  #247AmazingMe on July 12, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Well I am going to check it out, How much is the ebook? I guess I can figure that all out:) I believe it is way more than its value without a doubt!!

  248.  #248Dorothea on July 12, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Flowerchild 241 – Evan Marc Katz

  249.  #249Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Gina – No one’s asking you to become like anyone. Occult symbols have been a part of humankind from the beginning and have always fascinated us (me, too). And yes, there is much that is out of balance and unhappy and painful in this world.

    My job is to help you find peace and love inside you and full partnership with a man in the world as it is. My job is to believe that all in the world that is not peaceful will shift as you shift AWAY from your belief in fear and find peace within yourself. My job is to help you climb out of pain and allow love in. Can you join me in this? If not, I understand, and still ask you to, along with me, drop this intellectual discussion. Love, Rori

  250.  #250Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 10:49 am

    RE 241 it might be best to share your email address where it can be sent. He expressed opposition about posting his info here.

  251.  #251Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 10:50 am

    RE 243 $20 US

  252.  #252Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 10:51 am

    @226: Starla says:
    “…I feel bad cuz you clearly put a lot of effort in trying to discredit what I said, and yet I understand so very little of it. …”

    I don’t want anyone to feel badly, including me. I didn’t put ANY EFFORT WHATSOEVER toward trying to discredit you. Perhaps that’s what you don’t understand. Nothing to worry about. Nobody is out to get you. I’m not anyway. Hugs.

    “Maybe it will resonate with someone else, though…”

    Or not, who knows.

    “..Moving on…”

    That’s best. I do. All the best to you Starla. We are here to get support to having the relationships we want. Sometimes there are distractions and my ears perk up if I detect unfairness and slamming people. I probably go “boom, boom.” Haha.


  253.  #253Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Rusty – If you can get into your masculine energy and ask her “What does it feel like to you when I do this (fill in the blank)? Or “What did it feel like to you when….” And then you listen to her at Level 2 or 3 (the ebook would help you with this). When you touch her, or have sex, see if you can give her the time to feel, and ASK her what she’s feeling as often as you can. Try not to “fix” things, but just listen, in a “coach-like” way.

    The book “Trusting You Are Loved” by Lew Epstein is a great, classic book that really works with intimacy. Love, Rori

  254.  #254Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:54 am

    I like Rori’s work because we don’t HAVE to abandon our personal world views for her tools to work.

    But I suspect Gina knows this very well. If anything, the tools are super congruent with her world view.

    I have faith we’ll all get to where we are going ,spiritually, if that’s what we choose.

  255.  #255Rori Raye on July 12, 2011 at 10:55 am

    Vicky – This guy is a LOSER for you (perhaps not in life – but for you) and I would encourage you to drop him off your horse as soon as you can. Love, Rori

  256.  #256AmazingMe on July 12, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Wow ok thanks that not a bad price FW I will be getting that sooner than later….

  257.  #257Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:59 am

    This is the funniest thing I seen all day:

    All of us involved in this ‘debate’ or whatever simply MUST click it:):)

  258.  #258Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 11:14 am

    @241: FlowerChild77 says:
    “…that you Sirens find to be helpful or interesting.)
    Thanks… ”

    Sure, I can forward to your e-mail.
    Today’s was very invigorating.

  259.  #259Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 11:15 am

    re your link (253)
    OMG that was funny! and best of all I can so laugh at myself in that mindset sometimes. Thank you for passing that along!!!! I can love that side of me too!!!

  260.  #260Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 11:17 am

    your work and your words are such a breath of fresh air……and link to so many other traditions, ideas, ancient wisdom, universal truths…… love and to our hearts…….feels like coming home when I am reminded of it. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  261.  #261Lucy on July 12, 2011 at 11:21 am

  262.  #262FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 11:24 am

    I got an e-mail this morning from Arielle Ford. Her message is SO what I need to hear right now! I want to share it with you (perhaps you already have it…)

    I don’t know how to post the link, but it’s called “Are you RUDE to yourself?”—Soulmate Secret Newsletter #111 (copied and pasted…)

    >>>”Imagine this: You have a daughter, age 10, and she looks at you and says, “you really look like s*#t today. Is that a new wrinkle on your forehead? And what about those thighs, should you be exercising more? You are such a wreck, no one is ever going to want you.”

    Chances are, you would not tolerate words like that coming from anyone and yet this is exactly the internal conversation so many of have with ourselves.

    We claim to be conscious, loving, spiritual beings who care about the people (and the world) around us, and yet we allow ourselves to spew negative thoughts in our own minds. I truly believe that as we prepare for our beloved’s arrival, we must consciously choose to fall in love with ourselves. It’s time accept and make the best of who we are and where we are in our lives. This is a time to find the inner motivation to bring out the very best in yourself – not for the sake of your soulmate but for the sake of your own happiness and fulfillment. If you’re not in love with yourself…. if you don’t have an honest and gut-level appreciation of the adorable, juicy, one-of-a-kind characteristics that only you possess…. if you haven’t yet found compassionate acceptance for your flaws and discovered the ways they have made you uniquely who you are…. if you don’t approach your body with tenderness and sensuality…. how can you expect your soulmate to do these things?

    Here’s another way to think about it: The last time you flew on an airplane, you may have heard the flight attendant explain that “in the event of a change in cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from the ceiling. You must secure your own oxygen mask before trying to help anyone else.”

    Why do they tell you this? Because when a plane is losing altitude, you only have about six seconds before you lose consciousness and if you don’t use that time to put your own mask on, you will not be in a position to assist anyone else.

    This example speaks volumes about self-love. If you aren’t nourishing yourself on all levels with love, appreciation, healthy food, positive thoughts and tenderness, you simply won’t have the inner resources to love and nourish another. Loving yourself means being as attentive to your own needs as you are to the needs of your lover. It means caring for yourself as if you’re the most important person in the world.

    The simple truth is that when you love yourself, you become absolutely irresistible. Loving yourself is one of the most powerful keys to drawing to yourself virtually everything that you desire.

    Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


    It's almost spooky how 'timely' this message is for me! 😉

  263.  #263Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 11:26 am

    233: Senior Lady Vibe

    While I do not agree with everything that Gina says, I respect her right to believe it. The topic she is on would be best described with, “where there is smoke, there is fire.”

    And with that, it draws some who add insane things to that fire. Were the CIA doing what she says? Yes, but not on large amounts of Americans. They were studying the effects of hallucinogens though. Our government has done this kind of thing before. if you would have told somebody at the end of WWII that our government was using soldiers as Guinea Pigs to study the effects of radiation on the battlefield, people would have told you that you were off your rocker. And yet, it was true. It’s not even a secret anymore. For the greater good and all, ya know.

    However, I see nothing in her words that smacks of neo-nazism. I do see your attack on her beliefs as neo-nazish.

    I do agree with your view that being a member of an ethnic group makes you exempt from anything. Just as people are wrong for assuming things about members of a majority.

    But vilifying those who differing views is nothing new…it’s just reached a new level with today’s information age and the ability to use images to sway minds.

    Here’s an example of that.

  264.  #264Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 11:29 am

    RE 257 Thanks Lucy

  265.  #265Lucy on July 12, 2011 at 11:34 am

    “A man not looking at other women’s beauty is like a woman not looking at babies, puppies, or shoes!”

    Lots of women don’t look much at babies, puppies, or shoes.

    What’s Shana’s last name? I think I read her book and “research” years ago…. and the research was very flawed and invalid.

  266.  #266FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 11:44 am

    How do I change my e-mail address on here? If I do, will my posts go into moderation?

    Thank you Dorothea and SLV. Just knowing the name should help me find it. 🙂

    If someone “googles” the e-mail address we signed up with here (even though it says it will not be published) will all our posts show up? This kind of creeps me out, as this is so personal and I used the same e-mail as I use on FB. Can anyone explain how this works?

  267.  #267AmazingMe on July 12, 2011 at 11:48 am

    We as people in general learn and heal from the experience of life everyday and for the rest of our lives. Waiting for tomorrow to come is silly if it is not promised to us….Garth Brooks if tomorrow never comes…one of my romantic favorites..

  268.  #268Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 11:51 am

    ***Shana is one of 7 incredible relationship
    experts who can help you quickly in our “7 Steps
    To Lifelong Love” program – if you’ve ever wished
    you could have a “magic bullet” to turn your love
    life around – this program is it.

    incredible tips from relationship expert Shana James,

  269.  #269FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 11:59 am

    FW/#264 So she is a relationship coach for me, is that right? I just checked out her website…

  270.  #270Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    “…I do agree with your view that being a member of an ethnic group makes you exempt from anything…”

    I hope this is a typo because this NOT my view. I DON’T believe being a member of any ethnic group makes you exempt from anything (or any group really)

    People assume all sorts of “rights” for themselves they don’t have. As in…I can call any Irish person defamatory names because my maiden name is Moran. Or I can’t be racist because I’m poor.

    It’s tiring…

  271.  #271FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    Lucy/#261 I haven’t read much from her yet—but she has a Master’s degree in psychology. Are you sure it’s the same person?

  272.  #272Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    @262: FlowerChild77 says:
    “… as this is so personal and I used the same e-mail as I use on FB. Can anyone explain how this works?…”

    I used my real e-mail addy too but later started one for blog and so I know the orgin of things. What you write here is indexed by Google. It leads to “fun” results if you use your username else…

    E-mail me and I’ll send you the early newsletters. You won’t find newsletters on owner web sites as they don’t want to duplicate it. I honor that and also keep links intact, it’s only fair. E-mail promotion forwarding is encouraged.

    Rori , as well as an owner, asked us not to post proprietary content, so I don’t. I try to use copyright “fair use” doctrine” which is only a sentence or two… but there was so much today I was “tempted to sin.” 😆
    Sometimes I do 😳 Not too often….


  273.  #273Soul Sista on July 12, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    HEY SLV!!!! I sent that acquaintance of mine a nice message letting him know my intentions if he perhaps thought it was a good idea to let that man know about me because we are both looking to settle down…I feel very good about it! i’ll keep ya posted! xoxo

  274.  #274Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    @259: Rusty says:
    “… For the greater good and all, ya know….”

    Yes, I know. I know about the government; I have been “done unto.” Perhaps it was for someone else’s good but not mine.

    I you think *I’m* a Nazi. OK. It figures. LOL 😆 Once again… Oh, the irony…


  275.  #275FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    #268/SLV Sooooo…if someone googles my FB address all my personal posts, here, will show up? I know it’s my own fault for being uninformed, but this really bothers me. A LOT! 🙁 I almost feel like crying.

  276.  #276Starla on July 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    262 – the reason a google search of me comes here is because i openly shared my email address here before.

    you should have nothing to worry about

  277.  #277Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    @269: Soul Sista says:
    “…HEY SLV!!!! I sent that acquaintance of mine a nice message letting him know my intentions if he perhaps thought it was a good idea to let that man know about me because we are both looking to settle down…I feel very good about it! i’ll keep ya posted! xoxo…”

    I was thinking more along the lines of a “fix up.” “Come have drinks with me and my friend” kind of thing rather than “a woman I know has a crush on you…

    Either way let’s see what happens. 😀

  278.  #278FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    I understand about other people’s content and not posting or forwarding e-mail, etc. How do I change my address on this blog?

  279.  #279DE on July 12, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Gina #189:

    Gosh, i feel so tempted to be sarcastic about it…hmm…i don’t want that…i want to respect your opinion(s) and choice(s) to “research” and leave u life as such…hope it brings your happiness…

    When I get worked up about people, topics…like u do on this topic…I take the opportunity to stop, look and “research” myself…very deeply…For example, you may ask yourself in what way the world or in this case, “Lady Gaga”, the creation of a conspirative world as u define it, mirrors my subconscious (things I hide very well and come out as self -righteousness…)

    I feel still on the other side of the spectrum…I feel very self secured in my knowledge and life choices…I influence the world around me…and not the other way around…if u don’t see how your tone, choice of words…scream out loud “morals” or “lack of it”…than, sorry darling, I can’t help you…

    Warm hugs,

  280.  #280Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    @271: FlowerChild77 says:
    268/SLV Sooooo…if someone googles my FB address all my personal posts, here, will show up? I know it’s my own fault for being uninformed, but this really bothers me. A LOT! I almost feel like crying…

    Don’t cry. WHATEVER you write shows up. e-mail me sweet,

  281.  #281Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    @274: FlowerChild77 says:
    “…I How do I change my address on this blog?

    You can change going forward the next time you post a comment. You cannot change what has already been indexed.

  282.  #282Starla on July 12, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Okay, so he’s deleted me from facebook (we’ve already established this) but I am now looking at his profile and our 7 mutual friends for evidence of wtf is going on.

    crack crack crack
    *steals from her mama’s purse*

    put the crack pipe down, Starla!

    Man crack.


  283.  #283Soul Sista on July 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    SLV, i didn’t word it in a way like I have a crush on him…it was more like a business letter. Because, i don’t have a personal relationship with this guy and i did not want to overstep my bounds. It was like we are looking for the same things, I am actively dating and we have a lot in common. i could meet this man and not feel attracted to him at all. And, this morning…i really don’t have a crush on him…I was on a date last night and have another one tonight. I am curious.

  284.  #284Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    @272: Starla

    Your username is a keyword as well as is everything else you post on the Internet where it is subject to being in SERPs for long tail keywords.

    Like you say… and me too… not to worry too much… But,,, there it is.


  285.  #285FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Basically, then, all my posts here might as well be on FB….? Oh, that feels SO, SO bad.

    This is one of those things where I feel very correct in saying, “Wow am I stupid…” Ugh….I should have figured this out BEFORE, but I was so happy to be here and post that I just put my address (feeling, naively, that it was ‘safe’ because it wouldn’t be posted.)

    This is one of the things I feel bad about when I think of meeting new men. Anyone who is the least bit computer savvy could take the e-mail and find all my personal stuff. I’m not ok with that. At all…. 🙁

    Talk to me, ladies (and gent.)

  286.  #286Soul Sista on July 12, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    PS Plus the man lives in England. He can learn a lot about me online and contact me if he wants to.

  287.  #287Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    @279: Soul Sista says:
    “…it was more like a business letter. ..”

    That’s cool. People do that all the time. “Could you put me in touch with so-and-so blah, blah, blah” for career reasons. Let’s see what happens. But business and dating not always the same… Oh…. you were telling us that…. 😉

    But it’s cool to have similar interests to meet.


  288.  #288FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Ohhhhhh……I JUST realized after reading your post, SLV/#268, that I should NOT have posted that Soulmate Secret e-mail. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break any rules or step on any toes.

    I need to go meditate…. 🙁

  289.  #289Starla on July 12, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    I’m not sure this makes a difference for google-ability. You would have had to actually have published your email address for it to return search hits. If you search your email address in quotes, and you’ve never shared it publicly here, you’ll return no hits.

    User names, on the other hand, are of course published. But for practical purposes they’re pretty much anonymous, unless you’re posting your photo right next to it.

  290.  #290Starla on July 12, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    I so regret being google-able. Maybe I will have Rori’s team remove that post where I shared my email.

  291.  #291Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    @281: FlowerChild77 says:
    “….I should have figured this out BEFORE, but I was so happy to be here and post that I just put my address (feeling, naively, that it was ‘safe’ because it wouldn’t be posted.)..

    You have mentioned “address” a few times.

    RORI DOES NOT PUBLISH E-MAIL ADDRESSES that you put into the submit box.

  292.  #292Soul Sista on July 12, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    My descriptions of the message I sent to him are falling short…it wasn’t cold like a business letter…it was very sweet 🙂

  293.  #293FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    Just one more question…if my user name has nothing to do with my e-mail address (totally different) and I’ve never posted my e-mail address here, will my posts still show up if the e-mail is googled?

    I’m sorry I’m being such a wah-wah baby about this, REALLY, I am. But it makes me feel like I’m standing in the middle of the freeway—naked! Not that I feel bad about being naked…but not with just anyone/everyone! (if you get my meaning, here) 🙁

    Ok, NOW I need to go meditate…. :-/

  294.  #294Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    @284: FlowerChild77 says:
    “… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break any rules or step on any toes….”

    FC77, Don’t worry about it!!!! A lot of stuff goes down here, some of it mine… 😆

    Don’t worry about posting here. If your name is Mary Smith use another name and don’t POST an email that you use everywhere. It doesn’t matter what e-mail you submit with, RORI DOES NOT PUBLISH e-mail addresses.

    Don’t worry. You can be as anonymous HERE as you want to be!!! I’d worry a whole lot more about Facebook giving telephone numbers and home addresses to third party vendors… yeah,,, uh-huh. Nothing like that here on Rori blog. It’s all safe and cozy unless we post actual names etc etc



  295.  #295FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Ok…(no, I’m still not meditating!) I feel a bit better if it’s only the user name that would be ‘googleable’—that means my blog posts would have no connection with FB, etc.

    Thank you all for answering my questions and trying to explain all this to me. I didn’t mean to ‘freak out’ about it this way…just being honest about how I feel and why it scares me.

  296.  #296Starla on July 12, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    flowerchild, no they won’t. try it yourself though. google your email you used in quotes. See what pops up.

  297.  #297Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    @289: FlowerChild77 says:
    if the e-mail is googled?

    If you haven’t put your e-mail addy anywhere online nothing will show up…

  298.  #298Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    @286: Starla says:
    I so regret being google-able. Maybe I will have Rori’s team remove that post where I shared my email.

    It might not matter, if is on some back page. Did you check to see where it came up? You might feel better about it. After you do exact (with quotes) check broad without quotes as that is how it will usually be entered. See where you are. Maybe you’ll feel better about it then.

  299.  #299FlowerChild77 on July 12, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    SLV–thank you for your reassurance and kindness. I am VERY careful on FB also. My profile (though private) has no address, phone, etc. Not even my real picture–I have an image of my favorite cartoon character as my profile pic. I only have an acct there so I can see pics my kids post of my grandkids, etc.

    I wasn’t, at all, thinking that Rori was sharing personal information (like our e-mail.) So I was correct in thinking it’s ‘safe’ due to it not being published. It’s the user name that is the connection.

    Ok, I’ve got it now. WHEW!! 🙂 Thank you so much.

    “Some people” really get upset about silly stuff, don’t they? 😉 I feel much, much better now.

  300.  #300Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    @291: FlowerChild77 says:
    “,,,that means my blog posts would have no connection with FB, etc. ..”

    No, nothing to do with FB! Of course any FB user is free to use any search engine they please.


  301.  #301Starla on July 12, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    I wrote to her support team and requested the post be removed.

    It was silly of me to leave my email address here for people to contact me. I’m a public figure to a certain extent and I get googled all the time.

  302.  #302Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    @295: FlowerChild77

    Do want some of the old newsletters you asked about? I can forward them. Get another e-mail address if you want. Gmail takes a few minutes to get a new one. Use it for blog and newsletters. etc, online dating etc.

    And you can always change your username here too! Rori encourages it so you can try out different personas etc.

    So, far I’m just “me”…. 😆 for better or worse…

  303.  #303Starla on July 12, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    OMG! 100 dollars just magically appeared in my life!

    Thank you, Universe.

    Yeah, right now 100 dollars is a sh8t ton of money for me.

  304.  #304tinque on July 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Beedubya – So nice seeing you again. I feel excited for you that you went “home”. YAY!!!


  305.  #305Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    @ Starla

    Wheeeeeeeeeee! on the money.

    Get a separate e-mail for “private” use.


  306.  #306Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    @300: tinque

    Hey, “tink!”


  307.  #307Femininewoman on July 12, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    We wanted to dash off a quick email to you today and share some fun research on hugging. There’s actually an ideal length for a hug that makes a particular difference in your connection with someone. And the magic number is…

    20 seconds!

    Yep, that’s all it takes to release oxytocin in your body. Oxytocin, as you may remember, is the bonding hormone that allows you to establish a deep connection with others.

    While 20 seconds seems like a short amount of time, think about the hugs you typically give and receive. Most are about 3 seconds or less.

    Further research has also shown that oxytocin can help reduce your blood pressure and your risk of heart disease. So, hugging is a wonderful health benefit, too!

    The next time you go to hug your mate, family member, friend or someone else you’re close to, try embracing for at least 20 seconds and experience the positive difference this can make for both of you.

    Sending you a hug ’til next time,
    Gay & Katie

  308.  #308Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    266: Senior Lady Vibe says:

    “…I do agree with your view that being a member of an ethnic group makes you exempt from anything…”

    I hope this is a typo because this NOT my view. I DON’T believe being a member of any ethnic group makes you exempt from anything (or any group really)


    Yes that was a typo. I left out NOT.

  309.  #309Starla on July 12, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    In the movement to end marijuana prohibition, I have been told by a few ‘key’ hispanic leaders that I only care about white people. They assume this because of how I look and how educated I am. They assume I have rich parents who paid my way through college, and I only care about people like me.

    They do not see the inherent racism in this. And the irony. But they are racist against people who look white, not their own race. Prejudiced against anyone who isn’t poor too.

    Of course, they do not know that while they’re droning on and on about the latino struggle they’re part of, my family WALKED here from el salvador to escape the executions in the street by the guerillas…yeah a guerilla war fueled by drug money.

    And while they’re droning on and on about how I am some suburban white girl with no clue about poor people’s struggles, they never get the chance to get to know that I grew up dirt poor, emancipated when I was in high school, and was homeless before I could put myself through college.

    La ignorancia. It’s everywhere. But we can find such an identity in finding some key thing that turns it into “us vs. them”

    That is why I said I don’t see the logic in calling a woman a neo-nazi when she is in love with a hispanic man.

    Why am I telling you all this? Because I know this personal struggle of mine identity wise and clashing with other leaders on this point, without them knowng anything about me, is a recurring theme in my LOVE life too.

    A case of mistaken identity…

    ahhh, such triggers. so much to ponder

  310.  #310tinque on July 12, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    Hey SLV….I’ve been so busy ironing out bugs and such and preparing for the treasure hunt…fun stuff


  311.  #311Laughing Goddess on July 12, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    I feel happy to report that the property owners came (I’m no longer using the term landlord, as I feel uncomfortable with it) and everything went very smoothly.

    This is the third time they have come up and I have to say I feel very comfortable and appreciated by them. I really couldn’t ask for a better situation other than owning my own home. I feel happy that they appreciated the way I was caring for the place and that they complimented my decor.

    I feel shaky in my body though. Now that it’s over, I can feel all of the anxiety I was feeling coming up in my body to be processed and removed. I feel shaky and sick to my stomach.

    I haven’t been eating very well and I think my blood sugar is out of whack.

    I’m going to focus on keeping it more in balance.

    ahhhhhhhhhh, the rest of the day is dedicated to nurturing me.

    and my house is super clean now and feels really good. I love it when my house is totally dialed in.

    I love me!

  312.  #312gina on July 12, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    i ain’t no neo nazi. I believe that there is a world elite that use the feminist movement, the environmentalist movement, the gay agenda, and all kinds of great efforts that are based in truth, as a way to control society with our consent.

    I am 100% for the the absolute liberty of every freaking person to do whatever they want so long as they do not infringe on the natural rights of another person.

  313.  #313Daria on July 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    I feel way nervous about leaving. I don’t remember feeling like this other times I’ve traveled. I feel sad and shaky and I love me and the EFT helped me feel a bit better.

  314.  #314Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    @305: Starla says:
    “…That is why I said I don’t see the logic in calling a woman a neo-nazi when she is in love with a hispanic man…:

    Loving a Spanish speaking man is not conclusive evidence a woman is a neo-nazi nor proof she is not.


  315.  #315Starla on July 12, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    Safe travels, Daria!

  316.  #316Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    @307: Laughing Goddess says:
    “…I feel happy to report that the property owners came (I’m no longer using the term landlord, as I feel uncomfortable with it) and everything went very smoothly….”

    Yay, LG! 😀

  317.  #317gina on July 12, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    I feel very weird about the conversations about being “gay” – for the record…it is the gay AGENDA, just like the feminist AGENDA, that I feel uncomfortable with. And I believe that is what Rusty was referring to, as well.
    And, yeah, you can focus on different stuff. but the reason we’re all here is because of how inauthentically we behave because of societal influence. I do feel good having knowledge about societal influence.

  318.  #318Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    @309: Daria says:
    “…I feel way nervous about leaving. I don’t remember feeling like this other times I’ve traveled. …”

    How long will you be away and will you be online?


  319.  #319Dorothea on July 12, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    I don’t know if he speaks spanish. i just know he is of a different race than her.

    Before we go any further, please google “Neo Nazi Definition” so that we are actually speaking about the same thing.:)

  320.  #320Beedubya on July 12, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    I am SOOO not connecting with you Sirens on here tonight, I FEEL like a goldfish looking into the bowl, will go to bed now and ponder on my own shortcomings…………….

  321.  #321Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    BTW, I don’t think SLV is a Nazi, I think the use of the neo-nazi thing is nazish. It is really just a ttic that people use, often without even realizing they are doing it. It is a tactic used to put the other party on the defensive. It is a tactic to divide and conquer. others will shy away from supporting anyone who is labeled anything derogatory for fear of having those labels placed on them. The tactic is to make the object of the attack feel as if they are isolated. In fact it is to isolate them.

    I know a man who is an elementary school teacher. He is also conservative. He was afraid that he was the only one that was conservative in his school. he then met another one who was, and then another. it actually took quite awhile to find this out according to him. So he came up with a scheme to find out how many were.

    I will not tell how he did this but it was pretty slick. After compiling the list of those who are, he made contact with all of them. They were all surprised to find out that there were more of them who were conservative at that school than those who aren’t. They all feared the same thing, that they were the only one, and at best, they were a vast minority at the school. The truth turned out to be different. But this is how these tactics work. You can have a lot of people feeling or thinking one way, but they never speak up because they are convinced that theirs is the minority opinion. The authors of After the Ball speak of this as a tactic.

    I don’t know that you actually consciously use it as a tactic SLV, but the method is the same. in fact, if i had not spoken up, it is quire possible that Gina would not either. She, if like most people would fear speaking further since it is our nature to want to be part of a community. Evolution has taught us that their is safety in being part of a community. You can fight off ferocious predators together that you can’t alone.

  322.  #322Mel on July 12, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Ugh… are we still on this topic?

  323.  #323Plum on July 12, 2011 at 3:31 pm

  324.  #324Plum on July 12, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    169: Starla
    Posts 30 +31 +32 +33 +34
    495 + 585


  325.  #325Plum on July 12, 2011 at 3:45 pm

  326.  #326Rusty on July 12, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    318: Mel says:

    Ugh… are we still on this topic?


    LOL 😛

  327.  #327Daria on July 12, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    I will be online… 🙂 im goin to Ny for a week and Romania for 3 months

    i feel happy i will be able to be so online that yall will not even notice im moving around

  328.  #328Daria on July 12, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    thank you Starla!

  329.  #329Daria on July 12, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    it just dawned on me that there are lots of gay people in countries that are much “freer” of certain media agendas… such a Brazil

    i feel happy that i can transcend lots of fears

  330.  #330Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    just wanted to say thank you for the posts you place here…though i am new here, I appreciate your thoughts and I have learned a lot from reading you..thank you and safe safe travels to you 🙂

  331.  #331Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 5:11 pm



    So happy and excited for your trip! Blessed travels!

  332.  #332Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    @317: Rusty says:
    “…I don’t know that you actually consciously use it as a tactic SLV, but the method is the same…”

    I’m conscious of what I do. Is it your “tactic” to suggest that I am not? I had no tactic.

    “…in fact, if i had not spoken up, it is quire possible that Gina would not either. She, if like most people would fear speaking further …”

    I doubt that. She spoke for herself very well, took on Rori and described her group. So she is not without “group.” I find her group scary, whatever they call themselves.

    I am one who often stands alone. I’ve posted things on the blog which were different from the general ideas here. I’ve been called names too, farm animal names. It stung at the time and for a time after, though even then it seemed grossly silly. I was at a more vulnerable period in my life last year.

    I plan to be around the blog for a long time to come and I wonder what will happen next winter if I post the same kinds of things. I probably will! I really like the winter season holidays a lot.

    I had described a scenario of inviting a man, who I planned to marry, to my apartment during the holidays, serving a light meal with wine, playing holiday music and looking at Christmas and display lights. I have thousands of them (literally) where I live.

    (This was a fantasy as the actual get together was with girlfriends after Christmas shopping.)
    I was told how “ick” and troubled some sirens felt to read such a thing: preparing a chicken sandwich and salad for a fiance. Cheese and fruit, dessert too!

    Maybe the “ick” part was I turned off the lights in the apartment all the better to see the Christmas display. (I always do that!) We had adult beverage also. (I’m well over 21.) I was called not “feminine” and “leaning forward” to provide such an afternoon and evening for a man who had asked me to marry him. I thought it was cool. I still do. I don’t remember that anyone else did; they were all more “feminine” than I.

    Now I “consider the source” and giggle. So I have recovered at least that much.

    Maybe I’ll be called names again this year. There’s not much I can do about it. I’ll be as happy as I can and share from time to time.

    Thanks, Rori.


  333.  #333Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    @306: tinque says:
    “…Hey SLV….I’ve been so busy ironing out bugs and such and preparing for the treasure hunt…fun stuff..”

    I’ll be looking for it. I ran into some snags and distractions and now so far behind, I might have to go into hiding for a bit.


  334.  #334Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    @317: Rusty says:
    “… You can fight off ferocious predators together that you can’t alone…”

    I might be alone so I’ll fight off whatever I can or run as fast as I can.


  335.  #335Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    @323: Daria says:
    “… i feel happy i will be able to be so online that yall will not even notice im moving around…”

    Cool, Daria. 8)


  336.  #336Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 5:32 pm


    WOW~ I love the scene you set with your fiance.

    I, too love Christmas lights. I was looking online over the weekend for strands of solar lights that I can have on my balcony and I found them! I don’t have an outlet on my balcony so the solar are going to be spectacular! I’m so happy.

    Perhaps, come the holidays, I too, will have my sweetie here and we will turn off all the lights, light all the candles and have my solar lights and battery operated lights all on and enjoy the perfect snowfall…complete with adult beverages. I can see it now. And, I will propose a toast to you, SLV, on that evening.

  337.  #337Lilybelle on July 12, 2011 at 5:42 pm


    It’s probably because I am a “feel-er-er” and not a thinker.


  338.  #338Daria on July 12, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    SLV – i feel misunderstood and a lil scared and sad to say anything

    i remember me as *the source* of the ick feeling reading about that scenario…

    when i read “consider the source” i felt tight in my tummy…

    that doesnt feel good and i feel angry

    on the other hand… i feel misunderstood… Rori teaches us to lean back and receive and the overall tone of the lovely fantasy was that the woman was providing atmosphere, food, and attention to a man

    that would work great with Rori’s tools, to create that for this *fiance* as long as it was in the context of giving back

    the missing description of “receiving” from him part gave me the impression that this was a leaning forward scenario, not a giving back – and i felt triggered by reading that

    i am putting a lot of effort to changing my past patterns of giving to a man…

    reading a scenario of giving to and entertaining a man triggered me and i felt “icky” in that moment

    it felt like a sinking feeling in my tummy

    i love my sinking feeling

    i feel bad feeling this disconnect

    and feel clumsy typing here… im sorry for any painful triggers around this…

    i dont want to go all adversarial with … anyone…

  339.  #339Daria on July 12, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    thank you Patricia, Lillybelle, and SLV for adressing my travel stuff hehe

    i dont want to make a big deal of it blog wise .. ill still be here!!!


    i feel much calmer now and ready to pack

  340.  #340Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    @332: Lilybelle

    I was thinking about putting up a tree early… like now! But I think I tossed out my tiny table top one.


  341.  #341Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    @335: Daria says:

    i feel much calmer now and ready to pack…”

    Wouldn’t it be fun if you found our soulmate in Romania? Maybe you are now stepping into the vortex at just the right time…
    You never know…


  342.  #342Plum on July 12, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    85 Gina

    *** we need to use our brains when we consume this stuff, which is as poisonous as the food and water that is immasculating men. ***

    I don’t know what her songs say, I am a free human being, I choose the television channels I watch, I chose the radio broadcasting I listen to and I buy only the music I like. And I have not chosen to listen to her yet.
    The young people around me are not interested either. I don’t know anybody who has given her their money.
    I suppose she can do what she does because free willing people chose to buy her stuff so she can keep doing the things they love.
    I choose to not give her my money and I wish her well. It takes all to make a world.

    I have “heard “ the name “lady gaga” a couple of times on television, I have seen the beginning of a clip, I felt immediately bored (by the music, not by the words, as I did not take time to even listen to the words) and I tuned to a different channel, so I really have NO idea what she sings and what you are speaking about.

    What attracts my attention in your post is that you seem to know the words she sings and you seem to know her clips and you seem to dislike them.
    Why do you inflicts a musical torture to yourself?
    You say “we need to use our brain when we consume this stuff which is poisonous”
    Well, if you are allergic to her artistic world to the point you qualify it “poisonous”, why do you consume it? Don’t you have a remote control to your television or music set?
    There is abundance of musical styles over the world, why do you focus your interest on a singer you dislike? Would you be projecting on her? Or would you recognize a part of you in her art?


  343.  #343Starla on July 12, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    I emailed you about something you’ll want to deal with. Just a reminder:):)

  344.  #344Plum on July 12, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    178: gina

    ***  I am not anti-gay, I just think that the “pro-gay” agenda is anti family and is a reason why we find dating so difficult nowadays. ***

    what is a pro-gay agenda? Can you explain, please?

    What do you mean by anti gay and pro gay?
    They are gay and that’s it, it is none of your business and I don’t see how you can be pro or against. There is no debate to have about it.
    May be when you say anti gay you mean “to forbid them to exist” and when you say pro gay you mean “to allow them to exist”.

    *** the “pro-gay” agenda is anti family***

    I really wish to understand what is the pro gay agenda, yet I don’t see how anything coming from a gay person or a video showing gay persons or books written for or by or about gay persons etc…. can work against the creation of the families and the happiness or the families.
    Families created within marriage are made of heterosexual parents who make babies. Nothing related to gay persons. I don’t see how gay persons can stop heterosexuals from marrying among themselves and from making babies.
    Some of these babies born from heterosexual parents and raised within a legal family, will blossom into gay persons.
    A family is a family.
    Gay people come from legal families too. Or did you think they grow in cauliflowers?

    Some of them create families too. Gay people can make babies outside the marriage and raise them outside the marriage.

    Same as married heterosexuals become divorced parents who raise their child outside of the marriage bound.
    Also, heterosexual men have sex with women they don’t want to hear from anymore, the woman can but kill her baby or raise him on her own. That makes more babies raised outside of the legal marriage and it is not caused by the gay persons.

    I don’t get the link you make between the heterosexuals who do not respect the marriage bound and gay persons.

    *** a reason why we find dating so difficult nowadays***

    On the contrary, I feel happy that less gay men feel forced to date women. It means more chances the man I will marry won’t be gay or bisexual.
    Not long ago the risk was huge because gay men and bisexuals would be scared to come out of the closet and they would get married with a woman and cheat on her secretly.
    I feel happy there is space for men to say clearly they are gay so they can be happy AND we don’t waste time dating them.


  345.  #345Starla on July 12, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    Well we are all just ignoring Rori’s request, it seems. We are naughty Sirens (and Sailor Rusty)

  346.  #346Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:11 pm


    Oops, I thought I had typed “your” soulmate. But if you find mine there also, send him…


  347.  #347Daria on July 12, 2011 at 6:23 pm

    Gina – i also think ‘family’ as a nuclear unit is an ‘agenda’ (an ‘older’ one thats already been integrated)

    family could be widespread, it would feel good to me to feel safe and loved and connected that way like a web

  348.  #348Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:23 pm

    @334: Daria says:
    “…i remember me as *the source* of the ick feeling reading about that scenario…”

    Oh, you weren’t the only one. Don’t worry about it, I think of it now and giggle a bit. People felt ick about me making holiday food for a fiance but didn’t say much when you were advertising for oral sex. Daria, that’s pretty funny… LOL LOL LOL 😆

    But you are part of the group and nobody says much contrary to what you choose to do. Other group members too. I think Rusty said something like that…

    Don’t worry. And no need for tight tummies. 😀

    Poor little lonesome me… It’s all good.

    the outlier….

  349.  #349Daria on July 12, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    SLV – hehe i don’t believe in soul mates

    it would feel cool to meet lots of men that i feel good to be around

  350.  #350Daria on July 12, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    SLV – hugs! thank you for your response… sorry you’re feeling alone 🙁

    and as far as this:

    “But you are part of the group and nobody says much contrary to what you choose to do”

    youve got to be kidding right? remember all the anti Daria storms that got kicked up along the way?

  351.  #351Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    @345: Daria says:
    “…SLV – hehe i don’t believe in soul mates…”

    I do. And Rori says we create them. I think so. I don’t believe there is a “the one” but I think we have lots of “ones.” Possibilities. So I hope you will meet lots of possibilities.

    But think about it…. there could be some universal connection in Romania a guy… but you moved away… and now you’re back! Anyway, it could be a sweet romantic story. Keep us clued in.

    Yeah, you got ganged up on a bit…. I guess that makes us stronger and more determined. Maybe.


  352.  #352Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:32 pm


    I was thinking…
    “… Anyway, it could be a sweet romantic story….”

    …like that movie you recommended, the woman going to Ireland for a family romantic tradition and how it turned out. I liked that movie!


  353.  #353DE on July 12, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    LonePlum #321:

    Thank you for the video…very enlightening and educational …it works well grasping the ideas while sipping wine 🙂 Salut!

    Warm hugs,

  354.  #354tinque on July 12, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    You’re not alone SLV, I’m here. lol Sending you big hugs and smoochies until a very short time from now…


  355.  #355Senior Lady Vibe on July 12, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Thanks for all the links you’ve put up. I’ll come back a bit later and check out.


  356.  #356Daria on July 12, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    okay i am now noticing stuff with Hawkman to work through

    sooooo…. im reminded of being with my highschool boyfriend

    and with getright

    here’s some issues:

    he’s showing up, a lot. and yet, it doesnt feel … too romantic

    i feel separate from him and cut off and not really connected

    i feel heavy and sad thinking of how will we survive as a family… even how will HE survive and i feel like crying typing that

    thinking of my friends that passed away

    i dont WANT to question my survival, and i feel competent to survive now and feel happy’

    but so scared that i “can’t raise a family” dna im shaking with sobs


    then theres the stuff about…

    well he ‘gets on my nerves’ a lot. i say ‘i feel thirsty’ he doesnt immediately spring into action to find me something to drink

    (unlike this other man i went on a recent date with)

    or did the other man also not spring into action when stuff wasnt readily available.. yup.. food

    so i have to actually get up and start leaving to find my own water before he joins me


    and he talks… to himself… on the phone and in person…

    “oh i have to blah blah, oh damn i hate this phone, i wonder how much money i will need to buy a car… blah blah”

    and i feel not paid attention to… but don’t know if this is an opportunity to listen at level 2 and practice curiosity and acceptance…

    or do i say i feel not paid attention to – my voice says that im demanding 100% attention and bieng picky


    he asks me questions like “i love you””do you love daddy?” or …

    or “i love your pussy””do you love this dick?” about sex…

    and im like, well uh yah kinda…

    do i say YES here because i kinda do, or do i not say antyhing or a mix? as ive been doing?

    he asks stuff like “do you miss me?” etc … i had the thought that because im not volunteering this affection, he just asks for it and is satisfied when i say ‘yes’

    or that he’s NOT satisfied with my level of appreciation and hes doing the best he can to get it out of me

    just feeling really insecure here

    and i think this is making me feel “pressured” and kinda shut down

    and aalso i feel really good that he DOES get into me…

    just lost

    feel SO out of my league in this situation (and kinda feels welcome that i get to “run”)

    really i dont want to get close to him anymore… becuase i feel sad about the future, i feel got on my nerves with how he can’t read my mind for what i want, and how everything is casual, and how i dont feel totally paid attention to in a romantic way

    and i feel STUCK

    like im stuck in a relationship where i feel trapped, not courted really

    and yet he showed up so many times, where other men haven’t really

    and i feel guilty

    and i love me


    ok his dick is small(er) compared to many men i’ve been with

    it feels GOOD when we have sex, but i keep thinking that he Must have a complex about it being small and just getting obsessed kinda with that, especially wehn he asks stuff like

    ‘is this the best sex you’ve ever had? it is for me”

    and im like

    uhh…w ell yeah it feels good

    i mean.. it DOES feel good. it might be the best

    but i m not like WOW WOW WOW about it

    it just feels good

    so im like, how can i get over that his dick is not big? i had gotten really into how a big dick looks over the past couple of years

    and the truth is his smaller dick feels great in sex,

    but sex HURTS!!


    like the condom irritation kinda hurt wich feels frustrating to me

    and i dont know whats fear of intimacy, or what do i do…

    im just glad im not committed

    feeling just overwhelmed totally with it

  357.  #357Daria on July 12, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    love to everyone!

    i really wish i had Rori aroudn to help me through all this stuff with getting close to this man…

    i feel so wow and out of my league and comfort zone about it

    maybe i will write Rori, but dont want to busy her too much

    ill just see what happens on this trip

  358.  #358Daria on July 12, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    the men showing up lately have been showing up with Desires to go to Brazil!

    some of them without my even saying that that is MY dream

    !!! yay!!!

  359.  #359DE on July 12, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    Wow…I just remembered….

    Today, I signed up my son at a kids club…so, sometimes I like to have some giggles with him…

    While I was filling out the paperwork, I read out loud the area where they ask u about your ethnic background…I look back at my son…and ask “are u Asian?…u eyes kinda look Asian…”…he giggles back and says..”mom, stop being a racist…”…I giggle back of course…then, i go the next one where is asking male or female…i look back at him…and ask again…”are u male or female?”…he giggles with annoyance this time…”Mom…stop being sexist!!!”…

    Hmm…and he is only 11 years old…wow…

    So, to him the mere use of the words immediately defined for him that someone was racist or sexist…I felt enlightened by his insight…

  360.  #360Butterfly wings on July 12, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    318: I was thinking the same thing Mel!

    For those who missed it, see Rori’s comment #221.

    For anyone who cares, I was supposed to do Zumba with a gf last night so she cancelled and I ended up having pizza with my daughter instead.

    I feel fat – even though I know I don’t look it! I need to find a way to get motivated to exercise but it’s sooo cold here right now. Blah! Bring on spring!!! 😉

  361.  #361DE on July 12, 2011 at 7:05 pm


    Oh my dear…here is my selfish fear…u gonna enjoy yourself so much in our home country that u will not want to return…not anytime soon…:(

    And that’s my selfish fear 🙁

    I was still hoping to have a one of a lifetime po*t smoking party with ya 😉 I am still a “virgin” in that respect…

    Warm hugs,

  362.  #362Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    may I? re 352

    when I hear those things from a man, always questioning, needing reassurance from me, talking aloud…..I feel uncomfortable….because his discomfort is his own and it feels like he’s down loading it onto me……it almost has a narcissistic feel to it….so it is endless…….that’s why it doesn’t feel like being courted…… he has the endless need for supply from you instead…..

    I recently started up an email conversation from a man I met on eharmony…..seems really nice…great conversationalist and great emailer…but lives 7 hours away….I’m not willing to travel that far but I would consider something within an hour…..he has been emailing anyway despite knowing how I feel…..and I’ve enjoyed the emails…but in the last few days he speaks about how busy he is, how little time he has when he’s working 12 hour shifts……4 days in a row…..and his last words tonight were “I’m feeling drained tonight for some reason”…….quite a shift in energy from the initial interest….within a week!

    and it triggered me and I thought, “wow there’s no room for a relationship for this guy”….”there’s no room for me”…I”m not worthy….maybe it’ s my fear of intimacy again…..I’m getting confused…..

    and then I stopped myself!!!! I thought “hey I’ve seen this before”!

    it ‘s not about’s about him!

    in the past I’d be only too quick to own it as mine….
    but not this time…..

    If you feel like that’s happening to you in any way with this man…..I just want to support you in loving yourself…..appreciating yourself and trusting the feelings that come up…….especially now as you are embarking on a new adventure…….it would be so easy for this to derail you and sabotage your trip and your plans…..

    sending you good vibes for clarity……

  363.  #363Patricia on July 12, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    and it’s getting late here…off to bed for this chickie……sleep well all…thank you for a good and very interesting day on this blog….

  364.  #364Daria on July 12, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    thank you Patricia…

    i have to practice here… to let him know how im feeling without pushing him away

  365.  #365Wildflower on July 12, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    I had a recent date with a man who is very handsome and nice. He asked me for my number after the date and called a couple days later and asked if I wanted to get drinks one night this week. He asked me when I was available and I told him I could meet him after my class on Thursday since I would already be in the city and at the time it seemed convenient for both of us and like a fun idea. Now I feel worried I should have held out for him to pick me up or something. Yes it still sounds like fun but the “convenient for both of us” part feels like nails on a chalkboard. When I ask myself how I”m feeling I guess the answer would be scared. I’m feeling scared I have this man I’m attracted to and I’ll somehow find a way to f*%k it up. I feel terrified of not catching my overfunctioning in time and having to back pedal. I’m also wondering if it’s not so much the meeting him but just my nasty voice telling me to second guess myself and not to get my hopes up. If it was some guy I had no interest in I would just meet him after my class if I felt like it or wouldn’t if I didn’t feel like it. Then again part of me feels disappointed he didn’t call the very next day and offer a more romantic date than drinks. Maybe I’m feeling like me offering to meet him out is confirming the casualness of this. The thing that kills me is it was my own d@mn idea–not his. I’m sure had I just said…I’m available THursday and Friday…or something like that he would have offered to pick me up since he knows I don’t like to drive to men. Maybe this is the learning experience from this. I feel so confused and worried and triggered. I know that I’m putting too much on this one man. I must sound crazy writing all this about one man but there is something really triggering me–like this feels familiar or something–and I just can’t quite figure it out. I guess I feel happy I’m catching myself when I start overfunctioning (I guess???). I’ve been really good about stating my boundaries with this guy (in a FM way) up until this point. I told him I don’t feel comfortable driving to men or calling men. I feel like I’m not seeing the forest from the trees here. Maybe I need to sink in to my feelings more. I will try that.

  366.  #366Emerson on July 12, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    276 Hi SLV!!

    I googled my email address that I use for this blog and nothing came up…I’ve never shared it on the site though within a message/blog post…I feel confused….

  367.  #367Emerson on July 12, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    362 Nevermind, I kept readign the posts and answered my own questions 🙂

  368.  #368Starla on July 12, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    Thank you Starla for doing my dishes
    Thank you for cooking delicious organic food
    Thank you for sharing with my best friend
    Thank you for decorating my house a bit
    Thank you for being gentle to me
    Thank you for not engaging in triggering, potentially dramatic and privacy invading conversation with ‘my guy’s’ friend when he IMd me tonight.
    Thank you for just not risking the bad feelings even though I don’t know it’s going to be dramatic for a fact. Thanks for putting me first and not taking the risk when it would have been superfluous and unnecessary.
    Thank you for being so gentle and protective!
    It really means a lot! Thank you, Starla!

  369.  #369alias girl on July 12, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    some woman said to me today “thanks for the advice.”

    DOH! i wasn’t trying to give her advice!!!! dang it. i’m sworn off the advice giving. i was trying to “help” her find her way through her own confusion and i guess i got carried away when i declared a “SOLUTION”.


    in other news, i have another contender for the alias girl sex program which is good news seeing as how persisent-nice-guy has managed to disqualify himself. for now.

    this guy is irreverent-fun-guy! and i feel attracted sexually sometimes and he is totally not my type. and also not really a long term potential.


    i had a lovely day!

    YAE! i feel unattached to outcomes in my life!!!

  370.  #370gina on July 12, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    I don’t even want to talk about homosexuality. I only said “I’m not anti gay” because I felt dismayed that tolerance of was even coming up: as in “OF COURSE I don’t give a hoot what people do”.

    I’m just saying that the elite hide behind movements that seem good, but actually are ways for them to reshape society according to their vision.

    Daria, yeah, the family unit is it’s own construct, and I do consider whether it is right for me. But if there is a small group of people who intentionally try to shape our perceptions so that we will behave according to their financial and political goals, I feel compelled to understand them and their motives. Precisely because Nazis existed and rose to power.

  371.  #371Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    Thank you starla for washing my face
    thank you for brushing my teeth

  372.  #372alias girl on July 12, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    i just ate 1 and 1/2 homemade chocolate muffins!

    and they are delicious!

    they are so delicious i have been eating them for breakfast!

    and now i might take a nice epsom salt bath! i haven’t had a bath in a while. ah!

    oh and goddess beauty tip:

    SULFATE FREE SHAMPOO. can i hear an amen?

  373.  #373Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    Alias girl – AMEN

    i just shaved my legs with olive oil yesterday. yummy

  374.  #374alias girl on July 12, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    i love me. i approve of me and all my thoughts and actions and feelings and desires. i MORE THAN APPROVE ME— I applaud me!!!

    clapclapclap!!!!! YAE ALIAS GIRL! GO! AWESOMENESS!

    I approve of my desires. even my pervy ones! even my ones not met with the universal stamp of approval. i love me!

    YAE GO! ME!

  375.  #375Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    gina – here are two awesome books around this that have inspired me and i’ve quoted from this one here before

  376.  #376Emerson on July 12, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    I am meeting a hot hot hot guy for breakfast tomorrow….he’s a recycled cd of sorts….and I’m going to work on the “im just curious” too when asking him questions….
    also I’m going to use the I wonder how often he cuts his hair, etc. wondering little things about him to stay in the moment….
    at the same time being open and warm…and shhhh…..quiet. Letting him talk.

  377.  #377Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    haha alias girl i love it!

  378.  #378Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    the other one:

    also i think A Course In Miracles is a powerful way to expand spiritual power…

    in that I create everything (even the “evil” powers) and can recreate it with my beliefs

    as well as “The Four Agreements”

    for me healing comes from embracing without judgement and seeing “evil” as a reaction to pain/illness/insanity

  379.  #379alias girl on July 12, 2011 at 10:21 pm


    i now have transitioned to an epliator. which i actually like the feeling on my legs. and now i don;t have to do it as often.

    and i’ve even used it on my gentle lady bits and have never felt more freaking pain in my entire life. tears kind of pain. and sweating. lol.

    i want laser. i will have laser soon.

    i’ve never used olive oil to shave my legs. i just used body gel. you like it though?

  380.  #380Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    the same ways some may use subliminal messages to shape my thoughts,

    i can then turn those own symbols to my benefit and healing

    iam superpowerful


  381.  #381Emerson on July 12, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    Daria I think you were the one mentioning that in an earlier post…” I wonder this or that….” about the guy…I like that idea.

    I also want to practice sinking into my feelings and not just playing nice to pretend….I do that A LOT….but I’m getting better.

  382.  #382Emerson on July 12, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    Sorry sirens, I’m sooo tired, not sure if I’m making sense….

  383.  #383Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    alias girl – my first time using it and yes i love it.

    i no longer use ANY skin hair products with any chemical stuff in them… for years

    the laser actually seemed to stimulate my lady hair to grow and spread onto my legs-( i didnt use the lunar chart for the best times for hair removal that i use now)

    laser however did amazing stuff reducing my leg hair

  384.  #384Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    Gina – oops the second link was identical to the first

    this is actually the second book

    all of this has ungrooved my perceptions

    i use a lot of my meditations and goddess consciousness to shape my worldview… i use female divinity, rastafarianism, whatever calls to me

  385.  #385Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    im feeling bummed a bit that Pleaser has disappeared and hasnt evrn returned my call with voicemail (that i left after 5 days)

    i am wondering if he found my myspace page and found it too sexually forward and judged me… i dono… feeling insecure

    i love me!!!

    i love my insecurity!

  386.  #386gina on July 12, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    I don’t have a “group”. I often get called crazy, crazy conspiracy theorist, nut job and more. Neo nazi is probably the least accurate name I’ve been given. But, no, there’s no group – I felt disturbed by stuff I see in mainstream media, and I started researching it and I found stuff that is really uncomfortable to fathom. the website i shared is one that offers a comprehensive analysis of occult symbols in pop culture – there’s no religious affiliation or anything else. Sorry I don’t easily fit into a group that is easy to dismiss or discredit. “Truth seeker” I guess is a title I identify with – at least more than “neo nazi”

  387.  #387Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Emerson – you’re making sense and sounding great!

    yes that was me on practicing curiosity! a challenge for me sometimes

  388.  #388gina on July 12, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    Thanks Daria – I’ll check it out. The beginning of it reminds me of Lady Gaga’s Born this way video, and I feel curious about that…

  389.  #389Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    Gina – i feel very glad i am in touch with my divinity

    and i know i DONT HAVE TO FEEL SCARED!!

    and that “evil” beings trying to control minds are operating out of ‘fear’

    and by my operating in love i can heal it all regardless of what control they are attempting…

    in other words… even though they may have a plan, their plan is based in fear, and by basing myself in love, i don’t have to fear that their plan will ‘work’ on me

  390.  #390Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    My personal challenge tomorrow will be: not judging others.

    Seems simple enough, but I think there is judgment that creeps into most everything we experience.

  391.  #391Daria on July 12, 2011 at 10:44 pm

    even the two books i linked, although i feel fascinated by them, i felt uncomfortable with the level of fear … but that is ok, and understandable…

    and i can heal it all by coming from a place of love and healing and divinity

    so even though evil powers may be twisting ‘good things’ to promote their ‘evil agenda’ that actually won’t work because since there is no ‘evil’ and if i choose to not believe anything that doesn’t feel good….

    then even though they try what they will actually create is MORE LOVE!

    which feels awesome to believe

    now back to work on feeling awesome and healing my beliefs

  392.  #392gina on July 12, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    I don’t feel scared as much as I feel fascinated and curious.

  393.  #393Starla on July 12, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    I feel terrified by the global power structure and all its implications.

    This is a *must* on my list of traits for a guy: He HAS to take this stuff as seriously as I do….at least in his own way. This has been a requisite of mine for many years now.

  394.  #394Daria on July 12, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    Starla – really? thank you for sharing… ive been unsure of whtether to make that a prerequisite

    i felt afraid to for now

    it’s still not a prerequisite… but that i feel “got” is a prerequisite

  395.  #395gina on July 12, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    You asked for clarity about “agendas” – Christina Alguilera’s “not myself tonight” is an example

  396.  #396gina on July 12, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    starla – I’m with you. I can’t respect a man if he isn’t at least willing to open his eyes.

  397.  #397gina on July 12, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    I feel fascinated by the info and investigation. But yeah, I do feel terrified of global power structures, too. but I feel empowered to learn about them…

  398.  #398alias girl on July 12, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    mmm i just took a nice bath and i felt like the hot water dissolve my resistance i built up over the day –almost instantly! and it felt like ahhhh.

    if someone offered me a huge jug of expensive shampoo. like the most expensive you could buy. or they offered me the cheapest brand of sulfate free shampoo. and they told me to choose. either one could be my gift. and the only stipulation was that it was for my own use, i couldn’t resell it.

    i would take the sulfate free in a heartbeat.


  399.  #399alias girl on July 12, 2011 at 11:12 pm





  400.  #400Starla on July 12, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    I feel super empowered compared to a lot of people. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to fight the power and continue to.

    I am getting back into political stuff because it is time again. I needed a break for a few months…I was feeling really worn out. But I am ready to take an active, prominent role again. Woohoo!

  401.  #401gina on July 12, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    Well, Teddy Bears are supposedly used in mind control, as referenced in Jesse Jays “price tag” video

  402.  #402gina on July 12, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    Woot Woot! Go Starla

  403.  #403alias girl on July 12, 2011 at 11:28 pm






  404.  #404gina on July 12, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    the Century of the Self is a fascinating BBC documentary about how society has been engineered over the last 100 years.


    I feel super curious about how dynamics between the sexes have changed as a result…

  405.  #405gina on July 12, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    the video is an example of cognitive dissonance – it’s about the opposite of what it seems to be about:

  406.  #406gina on July 12, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    I’m not conerned with “morals” – I’m concerned with values….

  407.  #407Daria on July 13, 2011 at 12:05 am

    i once read a woman who says she doesn’t use the word “values” … it always feels icky and sterile to me too

  408.  #408Daria on July 13, 2011 at 12:10 am

    havent found what i Do want to use tho

  409.  #409Daria on July 13, 2011 at 12:14 am

    im feeling teary!!!

    i feel so sad that Pleaser never called me again… REALLY??>


    and i feel so sad that im sending hawkman pictures of me and we’ll be separated… and that i feel distant from him anyway

    ohh i miss pleaser so much right now

    and the way he made me feel like succeeding in life was easy and inevitable

  410.  #410alias girl on July 13, 2011 at 12:18 am

    #401 gina that is interesting. thanks for the link. it might even be happening.

    but i don’t feet that drawn to it. i’m not much of a conspiracy kind of person. even if they exist.

    i just don’t want to spend my life delving into something that detracts from my joy. i mean there are many wars going on in the world and i don’t feel drawn to delve into those either.

    i understand if others want to and certainly respect their desires to do so.

    i’d rather go ice skating or cook or something.

  411.  #411Daria on July 13, 2011 at 1:00 am

    “i’d rather go ice skating or cook or something.”

    this is helpful to me.. it triggers me

    if this wasn’t alias girl whom i adore writing this, i would allow my judgements to go wild here

    “this person is shallow, and selfish, and just what i HATE about those people who mindlessly let horrible stuff happen without giving a damn, in order to support their self centered ignorance”

    and with alias girl i don’t get that, i get that she is focusing on healing by focusing on stuff that makes her feel good

    and i dont even BELIEVE in selfishness

    and i would like to heal this, i would like to not be triggered into judging people for not getting all drawn into the unfairness of the world and trying to heal it

    and yet it feels bad

    i wonder what draws me to the stuff that im drawn to

    i would like to heal this angels

    thank you

  412.  #412Senior Lady Vibe on July 13, 2011 at 3:29 am

    @382: gina says:
    “… “Truth seeker” I guess is a title I identify with – at least more than “neo nazi”…”

    I’d say that for myself also.


  413.  #413Patricia on July 13, 2011 at 8:05 am

    Seriously now… are you really going to tag one entertainers persona as the reason for all things sexual in the world? She merely represents herself in the way that she is to be who she is. If you or anyone had their own clear ideas about their own identities, there would be no need to feel threatened by Lady Gaga. Try watching her to see what it incites in yourself and use it as a message about your own fears.

  414.  #414Soul Sista on July 13, 2011 at 8:56 am

    Hey SLV! GUESS WHAT? I heard back from my acquaintance and he thought it was the sweetest thing in the world that i sent him that message about that man i maybe interested in! He basically said he knows that the man wants to start a family and will pass on the message…and that he will also keep his eyes peeled for other prospects!

    This is so fun! LOL!

  415.  #415Rusty on July 13, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Thanks for the link Daria. I find this read to be fascinating so far, and I love these quotes about the TRUTH.

    A truth’s initial commotion is directly proportional to how deeply the lie was believed. It wasn’t the
    world being round that agitated people but that the world wasn’t flat. When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly preposterous and its speaker a raving lunatic. – Dresden James

    Each progressive spirit is opposed by a thousand mediocre minds appointed to guard the past. ~
    Maurice Maeterlinck

    Contempt, prior to complete investigation, enslaves men to ignorance. – Dr. John Whitman Ray

    In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. – George Orwell

    If you want to make someone angry, tell him a lie; if you want to make him furious, tell him the truth.
    All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third, it is accepted as self-evident. – Arthur Schopenhauer Philosopher, 1788-1860

    As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. – J Billings

    Don’t confuse your opinion with the truth. – Werner Erhard

    Its a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear. – Dick Cavett

    The power to fit in with one’s social peers can be irresistible. To a human lemming, the logic behind an opinion doesn’t count as much as the power and popularity behind an opinion. – Norman Livergood

    If the truth is that ugly — which it is — then we do have to be careful about the way that we tell the truth. But to say somehow that telling the truth should be avoided because people may respond badly to the truth seems bizarre to me. – Chuck Skoro, Deacon, St. Paul’s Catholic Church


  416.  #416Senior Lady Vibe on July 13, 2011 at 9:40 am

    @410: Soul Sista says:
    “… will also keep his eyes peeled for other prospects!
    This is so fun! LOL!…”

    I’m interested to see what happens.


  417.  #417Soul Sista on July 13, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Yes well I’m back stuck out in the middle of nowhere with my mom again for a little while so I needed to bend the rules a little…lol

  418.  #418Plum on July 13, 2011 at 11:17 am

    410: Soul Sista

    oooohhhhhhhh That feels goooood!


  419.  #419Soul Sista on July 13, 2011 at 11:24 am

    thanks Plum it sure feels fun! i feel very validated, respected and supported xo

  420.  #420gina on July 13, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    No, of course I’m not saying that a performer is responsible for my identity. I’m saying that it seems to me that the music industry being used by the powers-that-be to program the masses to accept their plan for the world (police state, dumbed down society, centralized power). Lady Gaga, Rhianna, Beyonce and many other artists are used as puppets.

    I used to the believe I was impervious to media influence. But that was when I was anorexic – in reality, I was heavily influenced by societal pressures.

    Not long ago, I felt crummy that I wasn’t enjoying fame and fortune, and now I see that I was buying into media hype. This video examines the effects of celebrity culture in our society:

    I wish I hadn’t said to Rori “what does it mean if for us if we become like her” – that isn’t quite what I meant. I just think that when Rori endorses Lady Gaga, there is an inherent encouragement to emulate and relate, and I feel uncomfortable with that, given questionable nature of Lady Gaga’s persona as an illuminati puppet.

  421.  #421gina on July 13, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    So, I guess what it is, is that I feel majorly trigerred by this example of why we “shouldn’t” judge. When, to me, this is a perfect example of why we “should”.

  422.  #422gina on July 13, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Patricia, try watching her videos to see if there isn’t an obvious reason to be concerned!

  423.  #423gina on July 13, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    there is a reason why companies pay millions of bucks for advertising – it’s cause it works. When we watch entertainment, our critical brain shuts off and we thoughtlessly “learn”. I resent the implication that I am a weak person with no identity.

    I see that Derek emulates Jay-Z. I’ve heard him say “I love Rihanna” and I feel weird at the way he is unconsciously influenced by media.

  424.  #424gina on July 13, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    it’s mostly the bazooka bras and the references to mind control and persisten esoteric symbology that leaves me feeling uncomfortable.

  425.  #425Plum on July 13, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    SLV! Your bear conspiracy has been discovered! Run!


  426.  #426Plum on July 13, 2011 at 12:58 pm


  427.  #427gina on July 13, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    And Alias Girl,
    It looks like this stuff is at the heart of the wars being fought around the world. It’s at the heart of the financial crisis and other societal ills. So, it isn’t some far away problem. It is all around – and it is true that we can focus on the positive in our own lives to resist the influence. But to avoid deception and unconscious conformity, I like to be in the know.

  428.  #428Plum on July 13, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    423 Gina

    The truth? The know?
    Like this type of truth for example?
    Sorry, no funny symbols, no teddy bears, no blaming others, just plain reality.


  429.  #429gina on July 13, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    there is blaming others – the phone companies… not sure what you’re getting at here.

  430.  #430Plum on July 13, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    391: gina

    Thank you for the  Christina Alguilera’s video, I watched it

    I still don’t understand what you mean by “gay agenda”. Could you explain, please?


  431.  #431Plum on July 13, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    384: gina

    OK, I clicked and listened. Thank you.

    This song seems in alignment with this blog here.

    Could you point the words belonging to the “gay agenda” you speak of?
    Could you explain what does “gay agenda” means?

    “”It doesn’t matter if you love him,
    Or capital H-I-M
    Just put your paws up
    ’cause you were born this way, baby

    [Verse 1]
    My mama told me when I was young
    We are all born superstars

    She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
    In the glass of her boudoir

    “there’s nothin wrong with lovin who you are”
    She said, “’cause he made you perfect, babe”

    “so hold your head up girl and you’ll go far,
    Listen to me when I say”

    I’m beautiful in my way
    ’cause god makes no mistakes
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way

    Don’t hide yourself in regret
    Just love yourself and you’re set
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way

    Ooo there ain’t no other way
    Baby I was born this way
    Baby I was born this way
    Ooo there ain’t no other way
    Baby I was born-
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way

    Don’t be a drag – just be a queen
    Don’t be a drag – just be a queen
    Don’t be a drag – just be a queen
    Don’t be!

    [Verse 2]
    Give yourself prudence
    And love your friends
    Subway kid, rejoice your truth

    In the religion of the insecure
    I must be myself, respect my youth

    A different lover is not a sin
    Believe capital h-i-m (hey hey hey)
    I love my life I love this record and
    Mi amore vole fe yah (love needs faith)

    I’m beautiful in my way
    ’cause god makes no mistakes
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way

    Don’t hide yourself in regret
    Just love yourself and you’re set
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way

    Ooo there ain’t no other way
    Baby I was born this way
    Baby I was born this way
    Ooo there ain’t no other way
    Baby I was born-
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way

    Don’t be a drag, just be a queen
    Whether you’re broke or evergreen
    You’re black, white, beige, chola descent
    You’re lebanese, you’re orient
    Whether life’s disabilities
    Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
    Rejoice and love yourself today
    ’cause baby you were born this way

    No matter gay, straight, or bi,
    Lesbian, transgendered life
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born to survive
    No matter black, white or beige
    Chola or orient made
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born to be brave

    I’m beautiful in my way
    ’cause god makes no mistakes
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way

    Don’t hide yourself in regret
    Just love yourself and you’re set
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way

    I was born this way hey!
    I was born this way hey!
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way hey!

    I was born this way hey!
    I was born this way hey!
    I’m on the right track baby
    I was born this way hey! “”


  432.  #432gina on July 13, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    the way Christina is being fashionably bisexual is what I mean.

    Or when Adam lambert went on the 2009 VMAs and simulated oral sex with men and women, walked people on leashes dominatrix style, and made out with a man on stage on prime time television. that’s what I mean about an agenda being pushed on the public. He wasn’t demonstrating love between two people. He was giving a big F U to the world, and it was sanctioned by the network. And that was his breakout performance- he hadn’t earned any popularity for that type of behavior.

  433.  #433Plum on July 13, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    425 Gina

    You mean you don’t buy mobiles? Bravo, you are owning your part to help peace.


  434.  #434gina on July 13, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Born this way is another example of cognitive dissonance. The message of individuality is juxtaposed against images of conformity and mind control in the video. Here is an analysis of the occult symbols in the video:

  435.  #435gina on July 13, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    why so B*tchy? Yeah, I live in this society, and I partake in all kinds of things that sorta suck. I haven’t even said that i boycott pop music – i just said that I try to be educated as a consumer, just like you do. But my main purpose is to try to process the messages I receive from the media so that I can at least try to be conscious of how I respond. And also because I feel very curious about the puppeteers. and the Heads of big Corporations (like phone companies) ARE THE ELITE I AM REFERRING TO!!! So, we’re talking about different industries, but, in my mind, we are identifying common culprits to some of what’s majorly wrong…what do you think?

  436.  #436gina on July 13, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    here are more examples of ways that boundaries of what is “acceptable” are being challenged in ways I feel uncomfortable with:

    miley cyrus posing with father romance novel style:

    Milye Cyrus’ 8 year old sister posing for a line of children’s lingerie:

  437.  #437gina on July 13, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Maybe “born this way” sums up the “gay agenda” perfectly. Under the guise of celebrating gay pride and self acceptance, the video reveals that a forced transformation is happening according to the will of the elite (on “G.O.A.T” – government owned alien territory), which necessitates evil. It appears to be about boundless freedom and acceptance, but the video celebrates mindless conformity.

  438.  #438gina on July 13, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    And this is the speech at the beginning of the “Born this Way” video, not included in the lyrics you posted:

    On G.O.A.T, a Government Owned Alien Territory in space, a birth of magnificent and magical proportions took place. But the birth was not finite; it was infinite. As the wombs numbered, and the mitosis of the future began, it was perceived that this infamous moment in life is not temporal; it is eternal. And thus began the beginning of the new race: a race within the race of humanity, a race which bears no prejudice, no judgment, but boundless freedom. But on that same day, as the eternal mother hovered in the multiverse, another more terrifying birth took place: the birth of evil. And as she herself split into two, rotating in agony between two ultimate forces, the pendulum of choice began its dance. It seems easy, you imagine, to gravitate instantly and unwaveringly towards good. But she wondered, “How can I protect something so perfect without evil?”

  439.  #439Plum on July 13, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    428: gina

    It is not about gay people, then, it is about sex in public.
    I agree with you, I don’t want people to impose to me the sight of their sexual life.

    But you say the network sanctioned him, which tends to invalidate the conspiracy theory. All is good, you won’t be imposed such images again.
    And it is Adam Lambert who did such thing, you can’t say all gay people agree with what he did! I bet lots of them were shocked in their home, watching him.

    It is like if men who watch a porn video or a stripper would assume all women do these things in groups like in the movies or all women get naked in public like the strippers. No, it is the actresses who do that, it is part of the show. Not all women act like that. Lots of women feel bad when they watch it from their home. They don’t feel represented by porn actresses and strippers.
    It’s like when a man pays prostitutes and then is under the impression the prostitutes represent all women. Yet they don’t.

    Same for Adam Lambert, it is part of his professional image. Not all gay people act like him. He is doing his own thing.


  440.  #440Lilybelle on July 13, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    I’m going to wrap my head in tin foil and go to the park.

  441.  #441gina on July 13, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    I think i see what you mean… by “gay agenda” you though i meant that gay people had an agenda. And that is NOT AT ALL what I’m saying. I’m saying the elite use the topic of ‘gay rights’ (which is a misnomer, because groups don’t have “rights”, only individuals) in order to influence human behavior

  442.  #442gina on July 13, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    Also, I’m saying that Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert are not artists acting on their own accord. They are used by the higher ups to change societal values.

  443.  #443Senior Lady Vibe on July 13, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    @421: Plum says:
    “…SLV! Your bear conspiracy has been discovered! Run!…”

    Oh, you remembered. That was months ago. Yes, me and my fellow traveler, Brenda! Speaking of puppets… what about your poupee with the made especially for it clothes that you’ve kept all these years? That’s troublesome. Do you think there might be something hidden inside? Wasn’t there something going on in North Africa about that time…?


  444.  #444gina on July 13, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    a big question occured to me:

    The BBC documentary The Century of the Self explores how Sigmund Freud’s theory that subconscious urges control human behavior was used in advertising to influence the masses, by his nephew Edward Bernays. For instance – he was hired by a tobacco company to break the social taboo against women smoking in public. So he hired debutante women to walk down the street during a parade, staged interviews with the press, and newspapers across the country reported these affluent women were smoking “torches of freedom.”
    By associating cigarettes with the women’s lib movement, he created a psychological and emotional attachment with the product, and it worked. bernays and Freud both believed that the masses need to have an elite group of experts to control society. Unfortunately these “experts” didn’t know the dangers of smoking. But anyhoo – the point is, that people in power intentionally use emotion in order to influence people. So, I can appreciate feeling messages as a tool. And I can appreciate ‘no judgement’ as an easier way to relate to people. But, I feel resistant to the idea of operating on a purely emotional basis – seems to make one an easy target for manipulation.

    “What good fortune for the governments that the people do not think” – Adolf Hitler

  445.  #445gina on July 13, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    There are only 5 mainstream media corporations, and that is how the higher ups do their thang – so it is the heads of the network I am suspicious of. Not Adam Lambert.

  446.  #446Rori Raye on July 13, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    Gina – I’m sure you didn’t see my comment about content – so I’ll email you privately….please, no more of this…Thank you, Rori

  447.  #447gina on July 13, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    I respect your wishes, and I appreciate the help you’ve given me
    I am feeling turned off to this blog. I feel frustrated that the way that people have “annihialated” and judged me was dismissed because their view is in accordance with yours. I feel misunderstood. I feel frustrated at the post which has nothing to do with relationships, and contains your opinion on something you have superficial knowledge on. I feel frustrated that I am presenting a valid concern about whether focusing on “feelings” without judgement can leave a person susceptible to deception, and based on the post – I believe it does. So, again, I appreciate the insight you’ve offered, and I feel ready to move on. I will not comment again.

  448.  #448nikita on July 13, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    It’s critical to distinguish between emotions and feelings. Emotions come and go and are volatile, unreliable and disturbing. If you come from an emotional place you become unstable, off-center and vulnerable to negativity from others like a sponge. By feelings, I mean it in a Jungian sense when he referred to feeling type individuals. Feelings have value and give the Self direction. This kind of feeling tells you, “Yes, this feels right” or “No, this feels wrong.” It is coming from your Soul.

    i copied this from an astrological site….of all places

  449.  #449Soul Sista on July 13, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    ladies ~ i’m interested with what the Rori material has to say about something I saw in a “Christian Carter” post about “back leading.” My message to this acquaintance of my about being interested in his colleague got me wondering about it…

  450.  #450Beedubya on July 13, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    #319 Thanks Plum LOL!!

    #300 Hi Tinque, nice to be back, although I find this particular thread not exactly what I was looking for when I joined back up…….

  451.  #451Beedubya on July 13, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    Heading over to the new thread and hoping it is more in line with the way the old threads went, about learning how to do it the RR way not all this head talk 🙁

  452.  #452Femininewoman on July 14, 2011 at 5:54 am

    RE 445 SoulSista I see telling a man “I wants” as Rori teaches, what I want in my life, as a way of backleading.

  453.  #453Brenda on July 14, 2011 at 11:27 am


  454.  #454gina on July 16, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Okay, sorry, no…I do want say more..And I feel like I’m being a jerk for even being here, now. But I urgently feel like I want to be understood. I don’t like that the truth wasn’t resolved and that I got labeled crazy before things were fleshed out and obvious. But then, it’s not my job to do all the fleshing out for people. So what do I want to say…Oh, yes!

    Okay, tonight some people I work with were sharing stories of their previous addictions to Chrystal Meth. And that is a clear example of how I find pop culture disturbing – when rihanna videos juxtapose the word “sex” with a pile of skulls, that is influencing people to believe that death is sexy. Oh my gosh I guess I’m doing it again…intellectualizing. I’m sorry. I guess I just feel like this is so so important.

    I look around and see my friends in sad relationships with babyfied boys. And myself too…and I guess I blame the powers that be…And that doesn’t necessarily help me attract a man. Exept, that I’m like Starla- I need to respect a man’s perspective on the world. I don’t want him to be obsessed. but I don’t want to see him carrying on in ways that I can easily identify as being influenced by pop culture. The word Douche Bag and Tity Baby come to mind when I think of many boys my immediate friends are involved with, and it is darn dissappointing. And I do blame the mainstream fashion, music, pop-psyche, movies, TV, mags, porn, etc. It feels majorly sucky. I relate to the woman who wrote the scathing review of our current pop icon. I care much less about this artist than I do about the women and girls she influences with her absolute rejection of boundaries.

  455.  #455gina on July 17, 2011 at 12:36 am

    okay, I guess what I’m saying is that I know I must need to majorly relax in this area because I feel so trigerred around judgement that I just feel like I cannot stand not correcting the “wrongness.” But I trust that is a good thing. It’s because I have an internal system that is telling me that something isn’t good. So then that leaves me wondering what to do with that…I can imagine SLV saying “Leave!” and I wonder why SLV was so belligerent towards me…I guess this was a trigger fest. Certain words caused the most raucos. I don’t even dare think about them, much less type them out…shudder…
    I am under the impression Rori herself is feeling trigerred by all this. I can’t tell if the act of judging is what has me so intellectually determined, or if it is this topic that I feel so passionately about…I believe it’s the topic. Oh…so that’s what it is. And this is true in relationships, too…I can’t change people. I can’t change their minds, and I can’t change their behaviour; I can only change my relationship to them. And it does feel good to at least create some emotional/psychological distance between this blog and me. based on how I see I’m in a different paradigm. I wonder if I can respect where people are without trying to sway them here or there. Of course I can. Sigh…breathe…no need to inform or educate or share or teach or lecture or preach or explain. The Determined Truth Warrior in me isn’t sorry, but rest of me is sorry for doing all those verbs here on the blog…

  456.  #456sameeya on July 17, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    hello. . em too worried . . i just want to tell u that i have a crush on a guy since four years and now 2 months back i managed to talk to him . . we share a good friendship . . we talked almost all day . . and when ever i asked him to meet me he is ready to meet .. cancelled out his other programs for meeting me. . he took me to the movie and pay my ticket too in return of this favour i made him sum pouches for his sisters who live in other country . . hes is out of country these days and before leaving too i asked me to meet me he was doing his shopping for his mother , i asked him to meet me cux i got some handmade stuff for his mother he said if i wont get anythng for my mother then i will meet u, in the end he got so many things for her but still he met me . . but now at this home country hes ignoring me . . he got online on facebook but do not reply to my messages and he do reply to them but after 12 or 15 days . . what should i do to get his interest. . he will come back here in september . . do reply me

    he live in jordan . . his whole family is there. . he is completing his graduation from our country

  457.  #457Rhonda on July 20, 2011 at 9:17 am

    What is wrong with these people thinking they are allowed to tell people what they are supposed to do or not do. Lady Gaga is different and that scares them. She is a beautiful and talented artist. Leave her alone and let her be whom ever she wants to be. I love her song The Edge of Glory that she performed on American Idol. I saw nothing wrong with it. If I had her body I would show if off too. Shes just different. She doesnt deserve all the so called critics coming down on her. Just let her do what she does best. Entertain!!!

  458.  #458aspiringsiren on August 3, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    haven’t been on here in quite some time but was just dealt a huge blow and i need some advice …..Please!

    i spent the weekend away with this guy (before i went i told him that if he wanted to work on things then i would agree to go) who has been in and out of my life for the past few years. we had a great time and he asked me to call or text when i got home. i did and he didn’t say anything back.

    the next morning i sent him an email saying it doesn’t feel good to me to be ignored. had a great time with you this weekend but think i may be having expectations and then setting myself up for disappointment. what do you think? (yes i used it from one of rori’s emails)

    he responded that he wasn’t ignoring me and wasn’t sure what expectations i set up for myself. that he had a great time too but if i wanted honesty and thought that there was going to be a relationship between us then yes i was going to be disappointed but if being good friends is what i was looking for than that sounded good to him

    i thanked him for his honesty and told him that i have feelings for him that are beyond friends and i don’t want to be just friends with him

    he responded and said …i really don’t know what to do, but i’m being honest. If you can’t be just friends, then i understand that. I’m sorry but i can’t do more than just friends.

    i didn’t respond at all …. i’m completely crushed.

    we have not been in a committed relationship in the past. we live several hours apart and there is this cyle of him making contact, persuing me, talking a lot and maybe seeing each other(twice a year at the most), something happens (usually he does something that i don’t want to tolerate) and we stop talking or i tell him to get lost and he does for a few months and he makes contact again and the cycle starts over. i try to move on and he contacts me again.

    he is the man that i want to be with more than anyone and i don’t know how to break the cycle. this is the first time he has said he just wants to be friends and i feel fine with my response to him. I don’t want to be in this never ending limbo with him.

    what does it sound like to you guys is going on ?
    did i handle it the right way?

    please help me break this cycle. i want to get the guy but not at the expense of what i want for myself

    what do i say if he contacts me again to be both warm and open but also with better boundaries to ensure that i’m not setting myself for disappointment again ? i’m usually just so happy to hear from him when this happens that it’s like everything goes out the window and i forget about everything else and we end up back in the same place

    please help!

  459.  #459Femininewoman on August 3, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    RE 458 As Rori recommends, ask yourself “why am I here?”Also are you cdating?

  460.  #460aspiringsiren on August 3, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    re 459 – FW- in what context do you mean “why am i here?”

    cd’ing – not really. I don’t get out much to meet new people and seems like the guys that want to ask me out are way young or they haven’t foudn the one yet but still want to start a family (i’m already done w kids and don’t want to waste anyones time)
    and i’ve always been the …meet a guy start talking and leads into dating exclusively or meet a guy talk to him for 5 minutes and realize that i don’t want to date him at all. i know, i know… it’s worked out real well for me so far. I don’t know cd’ing just feels weird to me. I wish it didn’t but it does.

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