Leaning Back Needs Warmth, Too

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The Question:

Hi Rori, I’ve been dating this guy for 10 months, and the other day he informed me that he felt that he was doing more in the relationship than I was. I’m not sure what this means. I have been under the assumption from the tapes that a man should be the more aggressor in the relationship? Some days I just don’t know what the answer is…

At times I feel so desperate.  I feel like it is an issue of mine that I am dealing with, being in such a unhealthy marriage for so long. I know that my new guy tells me that I can’t shut him out and he has been so patient with me.

I believe he is worth all the searching and understanding that I can put into this. Otherwise I would feel it was too much work. Thank you for what you are doing to help us women be better for ourselves and the men we love…….Darla

The Answer:

Darla – it’s WAY more complex than simply pulling back – you have to be RESPONDING to him in a warm, open way…

…he calls, you call back, he leans in, you open up – it’s the INVITATION part of this, the opening up step, that’s the one you need to work on.

This is about shifting your entire “vibe”.

What you do and what you say is  a huge part of “shifting” a relationship – but the truly important part is WHERE is what you do and what you say, and how you move, and how you feel COMING FROM?

Is it coming from your deep insides, your Feminine Energy?

Or is it coming from what you THINK you should be doing and saying – from your masculine energy.

For us women, our masculine energy totally loves to close down our Feminine Energy.

It loves to keep order, to keep control, to run things, to keep emotions “out of it.”

And this is where you’re confusing what he’s saying for what you think he’s saying.

In other words, when a man says “You’re not doing enough” – he doesn’t literally mean you’re not taking enough “action.

What he means is that you’re not responding to him in a powerful way.

Our response can look like an action.

If we return a text or a phone call – that looks like an action, but it’s not coming from our masculine energy of initiation.

It’s coming from our emotional response to HIS action.

It feels for him as if you’re “doing” something – yet, in truth, you are responding to him.

Sex can look like this. Where the more we try, the more we “do”, the more we do to make him feel good – the less interest he has in us as a particular woman.

Of course, his body responds to you – and, that’s not what gets his heart going.

However, if you respond to HIM, literally go all loose and passionate and moving all your body parts, your eyes, your smiles, your kisses from your emotions and your body’s desires – he will be beside himself with interest in you.

He will be flabbergasted and amazed and dazzled by what HE has done to make YOU feel the way you feel.

He feels like a giant.

And you’ve touched his heart.

Learning how to do this in all the moments of a relationship, especially the most seemingly “ordinary” – even texting and Zooming at the begining of dating – is what being a Siren is all about.

Love, Rori

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