Love The Sensations In Your Body

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Here’s a Tweak for the last step we did in this series, about going into the SENSATIONS in your body that come up as you’re RIFFING through these Tools.

In step one, you listed your “problems.” then we Flipped them into WANTS, then we went into how wanting something feels, then to how HAVING what you Want feels – moving into the sensations in your body.

And we did it in a free-flowing, stream-of-consciousness way that you’ve coined as “Riffing” (Thank you for that new term!)

Now – I want you to slow it down.

Take each Want to a feeling of Having that Want. Start going into your body and feeling the sensations there – tension, tightness, lightness, warmth, blank, cold – follow it around your body however you notice it and feel it. NOW – stop after each GOOD, PLEASUREABLE sensation and go DEEPER.

It could look like this:

“I’m afraid I won’t know what to do with a good man if he shows up. ” (Problem)


“I WANT a good man” (Flip)


“I feel scared that I want a man, I love feeling scared, feeling scared feels exciting, my body is so terrific for having all these feelings and wanting all these things, wow, wanting a man feels like too much to ask, is it too much to ask? Who says? I don’t know – so it’s fine, I’m fine, I want, and it’s okay, and wanting a man feels sexy…” (Accepting and Loving your feelings, wants, problems no matter what – the RIFF)


“Having a man feels shaky in my shoulders, I feel all open and warm in my vagina, I feel my jaw clamp up…” (Sensations)


Start with ONE feeling or sensation that’s in your writing – like “Having a man feels….”

Then go with it into your body…”Having a man feels… shaky in my shoulders. My left shoulder feels tense now, that tension feels prickly, the prickly feels cold, prickly and cold makes my heart feel sad. Sadness feels like a lump in my heart. The lump feels metallic. Metallic feels cold, I LOVE my cold, metallic heart, it feels all shiny and special and glowing….and my glowing metallic heart is now melting, and now it feels all golden…..” (Deeper Sensations)

Okay – notice how that went – you’re going to run through sensations that feel icky, and that trigger sad and icky feelings. When that happens, just love and accept them, like I did above, just like you’ve been doing, and picture them as beautiful, and describe them truthfully and also lovingly. Take your time with EACH one. Stay with it as long as it feels good, and then stop at the good place. If it turns icky at the last second, flip it around again, love it, and then stop.

That’s plenty for one session.

Try doing it as things come up during the day. Break anything that bothers you down, just the way we have, step-by-step – write if you want, and let’s see how quickly we can go through these steps – so that you can handle ANYTHING – at a party, on a date, sitting at home, by going into your feelings, facing the fear and discomfort, and going through to the other, much happier and better-feeling, side.

This is a variation on my “Body Dialogues” – (the only place you can get them is in my Heart Connection Toolkit – the “Toolkit” is all about lifting your spirits and helping you talk to yourself in some new ways)

Let’s keep going with this, let me know how it works for you.

Love, Rori


  1.  #1Daria on October 10, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    This is wonderful…
    I am getting the hang of this…
    feels great to love my shakeys and headaches and tensions…

    I use this non-stop now…

    yesterday I practiced it through a normally tense situation and instead felt relaxed and able to function in a great way…

    This is one of the most useful tools I’ve ever used…
    Thank you…

  2.  #2alias girl on October 10, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    i want to live the life of my dream. i feel confused about that. i feel scared. i feel helpless. i feel torn in all directions like my body is taffy or a gumby doll and i am being stretched in all directions and it feels like i am losing myself i am shattering into little pieces like a space rocket shattered in space in mid flight. spontaneous combustion. could not take the pressure. so i hide away. WAITING for the day. but what does it look like? everything takes so long. there is only so much time. i feel greedy. it feels like my vagina is gnawing on a bone, like ahungry dog. it’s not enough. that feels like my fingernails want to claw and dig and dig and dig there must be a way out. and that feels like a deep dark pit in the center of my body and it feels like emptiness and it feels like lost. like a kis that’s lost her mom in the grocery store and that feels like trembling hands and body and sobs and small gasps of breath and a runny nose and i feel stuck and chained to a fenceand that feels like just don’t move and that feels sexual like i want to move my pelvis like i am fucking and that feels crazy i just judged myself and that feels like rocking and that feels like sadness and that feels like desparation and that feels like pressure in my head and sobbing and that feels like giving up. and that feels likeanger. and that feels like i have the most powerful fists and feet and body that ever lived and that feels like a wasste. and that feels like i am drowning in cloudy scummy bath water and that feels like powerless ness. and that feels like apermanent cemented hole drilled thru my heart that’s not supposed to be there. and that feels likesomeone stabbed my in the heart with aknife and just kept twisting and turning and forever bc they were trying to kill me. and that feels like sadness and cold toes and shallow breathing and a kegel exercise in my vagina and relaxation and acceptance and oh well and so what and whatever and cynicism and that feels like i could be a gangsta and turn cold and not care about anyone and that feels numb and that feelslike steel eyes. and that feels like pretend anyway and just trudge on and that feels likeso waht let’s just have sex with one of my ex’s. and that feels like self betrayal and it feels endless with no dreams coming true stilland that feels like silliness and that feels fun. like winning the lottery. hahhah. you should have heard that riff! hah hah. 🙂

  3.  #3Daria on October 11, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    wow alias girl good job!…:D

    Rori this loving sensations thing is awesome… I’ve been able to love my sensations through being cold outside waiting for the club, waking up half hung over in the morning… meeting new guys… (by the way 3 for 3 I’ve met they were all cute… and the last one said I’m so totally a Woman) It feels wonderful to actually be ABLE to love these sensations that used to make me feel ill! Now I feel ALIVE! I feel amazed that my body is able to feel ALL these different things! IT’s AMAZING!

  4.  #4Reshi on October 11, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    Knowing that my husband desires me and wants to have sex with me…well now, that would feel radiant, as I’ve said. And now I feel radiant but I also feel like I have a lead ball behind my eyes…and that’s depression, and I love my depression, because it could open my eyes to something that’s not quite right, but I also fear my depression, and the fear feels like my scalp is melting, and I love the feeling of melting, like lava running down my skull, and it feels powerful and clean, and now it’s flowing deep down into my brain, and my brain is being washed in molten lava, and it feels good, and the lead ball is shrinking but it’s still there…and now my brain feels hotter and cleaner, and the heat is running down my arms, and my forearms are melting, and it feels good–like a different kind of radiance and energy, and now I’m scared that I can’t have it and the lead ball is growing again and I feel shut down, and I love myself for feeling shut down…and now it’s back to melting in my head and in my arms and in my heart…my heart is melting so hot, like candle wax dripping over my rib cage…so sensual, and its light is filling my entire upper body and I feel warm and expanded and it’s wonderful, and there goes my head melting again…and HEY! there’s my vagina, it exists, and it’s starting to feel warm too, and the warmth is radiating from my head to the tips of my toes and it feels so wonderful and so light. And my body is filled with light and peace.

    Dang, that was fun! Let’s try another one:

    I want to feel like expressing myself will get me MORE love–even if he does respond with anger. And right now that feels very calm and relaxed, like I could just let his anger wash over me, like I’ve been prepared for it. My heart feels alive, warm, beating, isolated, and in it I feel a desire to burst out of my chest and come into the world. My heart does not want to be contained and I love it for that. And my head feels hot and melty again and the melty wax is running down the right side of my skull, and there’s that lead clamping down on the side of my head and settling in behind my eyes…and yes, I love the lead, and loving the lead feels like warmth in my vagina, and like my awareness has gone down into my belly and my belly is expanding to hold it all. And my vagina is expanding and maybe it could let some light in. I feel this white light entering through there. And I also feel it wanting to clench shut and not let the light in. And I love my vagina for both the expanding and the contracting, and hey! I think it loves me too. It feels like it’s singing and there’s a tiny flower blooming in there. LOL. And I just noticed I have a big dopey smile on my face and that’s the closest to genuine, spontaneous happiness I’ve been in months, I think! And I also feel that lead ball behind my eyes, like it’s full of a lot more tears but it’s holding on to them, locked tight, and won’t let them out. And it’s floating in an ocean, there inside my head, and I love having the ocean inside my head, and now my shoulders feel warm and relaxed and full of light, and my back is getting full of light, and my feet are getting full of light and my vagina is getting tense, like it feels something coming that it isn’t so sure about. And I love its intuition. And now my butt is feeling all warm and full of light…LOL. And now the light is just having a field day with everything in my pelvic area and it feels so warm and open and my upper body is getting all tense now.

    OK, I could do this all day. I’ve HEARD Rori go on about walking through the icky feeling to get to a better feeling about a hundred times (because I listen to Reconnect so frequently), but this is the first time I’ve experienced it and it’s really cool!

  5.  #5alias girl on October 11, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    that’s totally awesome reshi! i get so much out of reading people’s process. i feel like it moves me along at lightning speed rather than if i was just all on my own practicing rori’s tools. and ifeel like i’m not alone in this. and i feel like we are all going to have dreamy mcdreamy lives. xo 🙂

  6.  #6Bethany on October 12, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    I feel so much fear and anxiety about my relationship. I am afraid that I am going to do something horrible and push him away and that I’ll be alone forever. BUT I want to feel secure about my relationship. I want things to go smoothly. I want to invite him in. I want a good man!The fear feels like a deep, endless dark pit in my stomach. It feels echoey and hollow and spooky. Can I love this feeling? I want to. I want to love my fear, it’s just trying to protect me. Maybe it’s like a tiny quivering bunny rabbit inside me, white with a little pink nose. That’s cute and that makes me feel a little ridiculous, but it feels better than having a huge hollow pit inside my stomach.

    I also feel obsessed with him: like I can’t think of ANYTHING else, and my work is suffering because of it and that scares the crap out of me to think that since our first date, every single waking second of my day has been somehow devoted to him. That makes me kind of sick inside, like ewwww, what a muddy, gross, sticky feeling to feel obsessed with someone. It feels dangerous and kind of out of control, and my shoulders are hunching up around my ears and my back is slumping and my forehead tightening because I feel gross, it’s just icky, like something I don’t want to touch but Oh my god here it comes…I had to stop typing and let it swell up in me, the grossness…it feels like murky, greenish brown water filling me up from stomach on up to my heart. My heart feels like it’s drowning in it. I love my obsessive feelings. I can dip my hand in the murky water and it actually feels surprisingly warm, and it doesn’t smell bad like I thought it would. I love my murky water, it’s not pretty but it’s warm and proves just how powerfully I can think and feel. If I could use that and channel it where I wanted to I could do just about damned near anything!

  7.  #7Bethany on October 12, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    …Continued…and that feels like clean water, like fresh, sweet water that I can spray out of a hose whenever I want AT whatever I want and focus where I want and that feels like being in control of myself and confidence in my emotional health. That feels good!

  8.  #8Bethany on October 12, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    And good feels like my back straightening out and my shoulders dropping back, like I can count on myself to not crumple into a ball when I feel the weight of my icky feelings bearing down on me.

  9.  #9changewantedgirl on October 17, 2008 at 5:13 am

    I have had a longterm vision of a dream life and how it would feel to come true. Lately, i do not feel anywhere close to this coming true and it feels so frustrating. And i admit that self-esteem for me feels at a very low point right now. Today I woke up with a headache and tightness in my neck and hips and that feels heavy. I can’t imagine why or how I have allowed myself to become so obsessed with my relationship and with getting him to really come forward. It seems at first I was willing to take whatever crumbs he would give me. Then with some help, I was able to connect with my true feelings — i.e., I want commitment, love, great sex, affection, attention and do not want to accept anything less. That worked for a while and i felt hopeful, encouraged and excited that my dream would come true. Now it’s been an exhausting process for me — I’m finding myself stuck in anger and I really dont want to be there. I’m finding myself stuck with unfulfilled dreams, and feels teary and icky and helpless and hopeless, and it gives me a huge headache to have this happen again. I expected and wanted to be way over this hump a very long time ago. I feel scared, exhausted. And I dont know why I can let this person’s actions affect me so profoundly.

    I love my fear and putting light on it now to shift it out of my body, out of my system. It doesnt serve me I anymore. I’m afraid of my aloneness and loneliness – I know that there is more and better way of being. It is no longer serving me and I need this big huge headache to go away.

  10.  #10Rori Raye on October 17, 2008 at 11:56 am

    Dear Change Wanted: I so hear your pain and wish I could wave a magic wand for you and end it.

    Here’s a start I can offer. Start with the first post in the Power & Self Esteem series (you have to use the “next” and then use the “back” button on your browser, and use the dates of the posts to guide you).

    Write your lists – use the instructions and the other lists in the comments to help yourself, I’ll tweak each of your lists and either move you on to the next step, or ask you to rework it…and by the time you get to “Channeling” – I’m hoping you’re going to feel much better.

    This is a mysterious process. We’re trying to go through it step-by-step in a bite-size way you can DO – that will have an immediate impact on your brain and nervous system – and shift all your old habits and patterns. so – don’t think about the OUTCOME…

    Just do the steps… Love, Rori

  11.  #11Violet Heartache on November 7, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    I feel hurt and empty without you. I feel that my playfulness and joy have gone now you are gone. But I love my emptiness because it feels and desires deeply. It can be filled with my own love for myself which has not gone. I love my playfulness and joy because they are me, not you, and I still have me. I miss you and I love you but I miss me and love me too. I want to feel playful and joyful again. I am scared of feeling playful and joyful around other men because I am scared of letting you go and I am ashamed because I wish they were you and that you could see me like that. I love my emotions and feelings of loss and desire because it shows how deeply I can love and value others and how loyal I felt. I love my hurt and fear because it makes my body ache and shows how deeply I care for me and want me to be okay. I am scared of other men because I am scared of being vulnerable, rejected and hurting more. I am scared of seeing other men because I fear they may not make me feel as good as you did. It was great that you made me feel good but you made me feel unloved too. I don’t want to feel unloved. Feeling unloved made me feel empty. Being with you made me feel emptier than being without you does. I am scared of dating again because it confirms I am letting you go. It is okay if I let you go. Letting you go will not make you care for me less. Letting go of you will allow me to care for myself more.

  12.  #12Rori Raye on November 7, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    Violet, How beautiful, Thank you. Rori

  13.  #13TW on November 11, 2008 at 1:44 am

    I know now that I have to stop acting as though he is the center of my being. Who would chase someone that they know is going to be there no matter what. I do not have to ignore him but I do need to put my energy and effort into other things to get my mind off calling him and texting him. I am going to start back working out as well as hanging out like I did before and just take care of me and once he sees that he isnt just going to always be able to come into my world and pick up where HE left off then maybe he will sit his little behing down and act right.

  14.  #14TW on November 11, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    I sent my love interest a text and told him how I was feeling. I know this may not be the way to go but in order for me to start the healing process I need everything to be out in the open. There are so many things running through my mind right now. I am lonely and tired. I want someone to love me for me and respect that. Do I want him to want to spend time with me? Yes. I also want to feel good about myself though and know that I am being loved for the right reasons instead of staying for the wrong ones. Do I love him? Of course I do but I can not let a man steal my joy. I am in tears but I know I will be okay in empowering myself and making myself happy first. Tomorrow is a brighter day of me putting myself and my needs first. I am getting the boys up in the morning and going to work dressed to kill and I will from this day on. I will smile and not worry about what is going on with him anymore. If he wants to talk then he will have to contact me. I have a strange feeling before the week is out I will see him or talk to him. I will be nice as usual or maybe I won’t answer the phone. It is according to the way I am feeling at the moment. They all talk to us when they want to maybe it is time for me to stop making him the center of my world. You can not miss or value something that you feel is never going to leave you in the first place.

  15.  #15Linda on November 13, 2008 at 4:28 am

    Where can I find out more about riffing and morphing?

  16.  #16TW on November 13, 2008 at 6:13 am

    Let me know when you find out. Thanks