Manifesting Your Desires Without Trying

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This is some gorgeous stuff here – following your feelings and your thoughts around your body – and loving and accepting every single one of them…

Stacy made another wonderful comment, and I’d like to jump off from it:

I’m going to “Tweak” this – so I’ll let you know what I mean by “Tweak.” The way I work in private sessions, and the way I put together all my Tools, is to work off of something real that has happened.

It could be an event, something that happened in the physical world, like a man simply not calling, or a sexual moment, or three men showing up all at once around you at a party…and most often, it’s about words.

It’s most likely a conversation that felt confusing, or that ended badly, or that simply drifted off without getting you the result you wanted.  That result you wanted could have been to feel a man come toward you, to feel attractive, to feel satisfaction after communicating something difficult to him.

So, I “tweak” that.  You tell me what happened, and together we re-do it.  We change, in our imaginations, how it went.  We change the words, the body posture, stick Tools in to keep you on track and feel better in the moment – and then you’re WAY ahead of the game the NEXT time the same situation shows up.  (And the same situations ALWAYS show up again.)

TWEAKING is like what you do in rehearsal for a play.  We take a clear, concrete experience, and shift it.  This way – you have a NEW experience that’s actually a baby-step forward for you.  To our minds, if we do the new experience in our imaginations in a full-feeling way – our minds, hearts and bodies will experience it as REAL.

Without any effort at all, except to use your imagination, you’ll move past your old patterns and take a baby-step into something new.  All without the pain we normally cause ourselves by RESISTING our feelings.  (I’ll write more about that later.)

Here’s the important thing about TWEAKING:

You can’t make it the same as “beating yourself up.”

As we TWEAK – it’s really easy to get an “aha” that makes you feel BAD about how the situation or the conversation went originally.  It’s easy to blame yourself for how it went, to feel shame and confusion and upset – because now you can SEE what happened and what your part in it was.

So – I’m going to be saying this a lot:  YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BEAT YOURSELF UP!!! You can feel bad, you can feel icky, but you have to catch yourself if you’re beating yourself up, and you have to PUT DOWN the hammer you’re hitting your own self with.  Just put it down, and use any of my many Tools around this from my programs. (The “Walk Thorough The Tunnel” Tool in Reconnect Your Relationship is great for this – or you can just sink down into the ickiness and ride it out.  Just make sure the hammer is DOWN.)

This is our hard-and-fast rule.

Learning anything new is not for the faint-of-heart – and if I know anything about you – it’s that you are BRAVE.  You wouldn’t be reading my stuff here if you weren’t brave, because “aha” moments can go both ways.

“Aha” moments can make you feel filled with glory that you finally “get” something that’s been eluding you your whole life,  You can suddenly and forever feel empowered.

And “aha” moments can make you feel at fault.

So – just for being willing to take that 50/50 chance – you are ALREADY brave!

So – now – I want a solemn agreement between us that you will FEEL any bad feelings you feel – you’ll allow yourself to cry, feel anger, feel regret, feel what ever you feel, and then you will say to yourself – “I made an agreement with Rori to NEVER beat myself up no matter what – to take the other side of the ‘aha’ 50/50 and say to myself – ‘Because it’s happened, I’m supposed to learn something from it…'”


So – now, let’s TWEAK:

Stacy – you say here (and click here to read Stacy’s whole comment):

“So I don’t know that I necessarily have the skills to actually manifest my desires yet but certainly reducing the rage and shame around them will help!!!!! I can love my whole self…”

Yes, so absolutely about loving your whole self – and let’s not even jump to the part about “manifesting your desires” – because, in a way that’s back to the “problem-solving” thing we want to get AWAY from.

So follow that around yourself like this:

“I don’t need to ‘make anything happen.'” “I don’t have to DO anything to Manifest anything.” “Manifesting is something that happens when I’m THERE, just BEING.”

Now let’s steer clear of “reducing” anything that has to do with feelings:

“I LOVE my rage.”  “I LOVE my shame.” “I love them when they show up and I can feel them, and I even love them when they’re all stuffed down where I can’t see them.”  “MY rage and shame are parts of me, and I accept and love them whether they’re showing up big or small.” “Rage and shame are powerful energies I OWN that can HELP me.  I can USE these powerful energies – even the ones I don’t like – to follow my DESIRES.”…and on and on like that…

Try this, and let’s see if you can expand even more, love even more of yourself.

Adding in more love from me, Rori


  1.  #1Stacey on October 2, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    This last post was such a subtle post for me to understand, Rori. I had to keep coming back to read it and let it sink in. Today I let myself feel ALL of my feelings. Even the scary rage ones. And the clarity that came out of this was truly Amazing.I have less desire to act out in destructive ways or to blame others. I feel empowered. It’s weird.

  2.  #2Rori Raye on October 3, 2008 at 10:06 am

    Stacy, it’s totally amazing to follow you and your baby-steps and totally mind-blowing shifts – I so applaud you for working this way.

    Letting yourself FEEL is where it’s at – bit by bit. You’d think it would take you further down the tubes, but it doesn’t – it makes you feel strong and lifts you up.

    The pain is in the Resistance – “Sinking” into the feeling is the way to go – love, Rori

  3.  #3Daria on October 3, 2008 at 10:28 am

    Dear Rori,

    I tried to feel all my feelings too and keep telling myself I loved them. I felt so overwhelmed there was so much shame and then terror and terror and terror coming up… I feel a little calmer now but I still feel terrified that this will be my experience everytime … I don’t feel very strong at all…

  4.  #4Daria on October 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm


    wanted to add that something very unsuual is happenign rigth now!

    after falling down on my knees and cryihng again for what seemed like a really long time (without blaming and continuing to tell my feelings i love them) I have started to giggle and laugh and laugh for the past 15 minutes it seems like… it feels soooo funny and weird

    I am still laughing as I type this… WHAT IS GOING ON????

  5.  #5Daria on October 3, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    just looked at a picture of my parents and fell back down crying again i am getting flashbacks of the past where i remember repressing these “outburst” as i thought of them… i felt afraid that my crying and sadness and fear would hurt my mom who was depressed and might make me depressed to by indulging in the sadness… i understand now that i was a wrong… omg i am crying and then laughing… im pretty is sure this is what is supposed to be happening…. if someone would see me right now they might feel frightened

  6.  #6Daria on October 3, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    I feel calm and very pleased. Rori this was NOT a babystep! You tricked me! LOL…

  7.  #7Daria on October 3, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    I was talking on the phone and just heard a guy
    I used to really like say something inconsiderate in the background… I felt really angry at him… I was feeling great before… had some great news and was getting ready to go dancing.

    Now I feel like the whole side of my head got hit by a brick… My teeth are all tight, my face is hanging and I feel just exhausted. The whole feeling is in the right side of my head. I feel so sleepy. And I’m supposed to go to the club… I feel sad.

    I’m trying to sink into it but it’s in my head. I don’t know what to do… should I nap? I feel upset that one tiny comment could trigger me to feel SO angry… and I don’t want to beat myself up…

    On another note I feel like something is different in a good way for me after today… even my mom is noticing my glow…

    (a guy just called right now and talked to me and my tiredness has faded some – I would really like to know how to make it feel better on my own – I talked to it and love it even though i felt tired)

  8.  #8ann on October 18, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    I’m sitting here now and I feel unsettled. I know changes are coming in my family. I know I’m resistant to change, especially if it feels like it’s shaking up the atmosphere here. I feel the fear, I sense the feeling of not being in contol. This is all ok because I’m actually feeling it I’m not trying to run away from it. I’m learning from Rori not to beat myself up because of what I feel, think or say. I’m learning more about accepting & loving me-ALL PARTS OF ME! You ladies area God sent thanks.

  9.  #9Andrea on November 3, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    You know I find myself reliving the last conversation that I had with Jim. I find myself blaming myself of for speaking with my masculine energy and not in feeling messages. But after reading this post maybe that was ok. Maybe me being angry is leading me to my destiny and my desires. My desire was not to be treated that way and I was angry. There was nothing I could do to control his behavior. However I deserved attention and love and I had given him enough room to come forward. He did not. I had every right to be angry. I loved that I got angry. I love that I hurt and that I respected myself to say enough. I loved that I walked away.

  10.  #10Rori Raye on November 3, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    Andrea, Thank you. Here’s the thing – Emotions don’t need to be “right.” We don’t have to have a good reason to feel them. We just do. They can be irrational and unreasonable and seem horrible to us.

    It’s what we DO with them that counts. Trying to ignore them, or make them less “unruly” or more “pleasant” undermines ourselves.

    What works is to feel what we feel, and speak it as authentically, in feeling messages, and straight out as possible.

    Once we get used to that, we’ll relax in amazing new ways – and then we can Tweak for the next opportunity!

    I know that you did incredibly well, and yes – you had EVERY right to feel exactly as you felt – righteously so – and I’m thrilled that you’re doing so well now.

    Love, Rori

  11.  #11Cassandra on November 15, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    I think that I am out of order on the steps here but somehow missed this one…..and I know that this is a really important step. I am feeling so many things right now…..overwhelmed…..angry…..scared….disappointed…
    I still feel as though there is a huge wall right in front of me that I cannot get thru, over or under that frustrates me…..I feel like one minute I taek a huge step forward and then slide back 10…I hate feeling these dark feelings…it scares me to REALLY feel them and how can I love them? How can I get to the point where I REALLY and TRULY LOVE THEM? I can say that I love them but it is true in my heart? I want it to be true…I want to love me…I want to love even the darkest of dark feelings in the pit of my soul….I want them to know taht no matter how dark they are….how rageful or hateful or angry they are it doesn’t matter…….I want to love them….Ok I may stnad corrected here in that perhaps I really do love them? Maybe I do? How do I know if I do….I feel shaky all over my whole body right now….my whole body is shaking and I have been so tired these last few days….I feel like I am stuck by that wall and i don’t know what to do…..I am not even really sure what step I should be on right now as I have lost track of where I am at and don’t know what to do to move forward……I don’t like feeling this way but I guess it means that I do want to grow and love myself fully and completely. I am even frustrated in writing this post because I don’t know if I am doing it right….I feel so stuck and now I feel angry.

  12.  #12Simon Shaw at manifesting abundance on December 14, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    Yes, being appreciative and grateful of EVERYTHING (including things that may seem negative) is actually the best way to live life and manifesting the things that you want into your life!

    Thank for this great post!

    Love, Simon Shaw from
    manifesting abundance