My Biggest Heartbreak Is The Biggest Blessing of My Life – Shahrzad

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From Shahrzad – a brilliant new Rori Raye coach:

In the summer of 2013, I went through the most painful heartbreak of my life.

The man whom I worshiped with every bit of me – the one that I thought had finally given meaning to my life – the only man who I believed was the love of my life – had just given me the: “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore…” speech; walked out on me leaving me alone with the shattered pieces of my heart.

How could he do this to me?

After all I had put up with everything. I accepted every little (and huge) lie that he told me, including not telling me that he’s married.

I was willing to wait until he was ready to leave his wife for me like he said he would.

Even though I died a little every night when I pictured him sleeping next to her, but I said nothing. I stayed loyal to him, waiting for him to finally realize what a selfless amazing woman I am.

And after all of that, he’s the one leaving me?

It’s needless to say how I wasn’t able to get out of bed for weeks. I was in too much pain to even think about eating. When I finally did decide to continue living, I only had one reason: “How to get him back!”

So I started my research and read every single article and book on “how to get your ex back” that I could get my hands on.

And that’s how my journey to self-discovery started…

The more I searched about trying to get another to love me, the more I was brought to the concept of: “You have to love yourself first”. And of course I would do absolutely anything to get him back so I did everything that the books and programs told me to.

I started to take care of my body. Fed myself nutritious food, began to work out, and drank lots of water. And I started to take care of my mind by meditating, doing yoga, journaling, aligning my thoughts to things that made me feel good.

I learned about respecting my own wants and need, setting strong boundaries, and not accepting crumbs.

And without even realizing, something in me shifted.

It felt like the little empty and dark holes inside of me were starting to feel not so empty anymore. I was healing.

Soon after, when I would think about the man whom I would die for once upon a time, I would feel nothing. I couldn’t find a single reason to want him anymore. I had no desire to be with someone who would lie to me day and night.

A relationship that made me completely lose myself in order to keep him was not what I wanted anymore. I didn’t want go back to the dark hole of feeling unloved, insecure, and abandoned anymore.

I wanted the opposite. My heart wished for a loving, harmonious, and fulfilling relationship filled with honesty and loyalty. I believed in my core that’s what I truly deserved, and it didn’t take long until the universe delivered me exactly that.

Five months after the most painful day of my life, the one that put me on the path of self-discovery and self-love, I attracted a man who gave me my dream relationship.

A relationship that made me feel cherished and adored. One that makes me feel fall in love with myself, with him, and with my life every single day.

If I hadn’t gone through the intense pain that I did – if I didn’t feel crushed – I most likely wouldn’t have found my way back to myself and woken up to what a loving relationship should feel like. I wouldn’t have my amazing man who is soon to be my husband.

And for that, I feel forever grateful to the man and the day that he broke me into pieces. Because of him, I put myself back together and I feel whole, loved, and happy today and every day.

From Rori: Shahrzad has a free Facebook group you can get to know her on, and an almost full coaching schedule already – so get to her fast (pick up her freebie, too – it’s great, and you’ll get so much from everything she says about “feeling invisible”).

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Joy on September 19, 2017 at 5:57 am

    I am sorry for the pain you went through,I can imagine how all this hurt! And at the same time,I want to say congratulations for your strength to turn it all around!

    The way you describe your steps of healing inspired me so much,as I have been bored reading that taking care of myself means polished nails,hairstyling,and working out! No,it means nutritious food and taking care of our minds too.This is so right!

    Very inspiring!

  2.  #2Shahrzad on September 19, 2017 at 6:23 am

    Thank you Joy for your kind words. Yes indeed what I once thought was the worst thing that ever happened to me was the very thing that made me feel whole and stronger than ever! Life has a funny way of loving us, but it so very much loves us <3

  3.  #3Moroon on September 23, 2017 at 7:32 am

    Sirens what do you when a man just won’t let you go? When he’s so into you that it’s almost too much? Obsessed with you in both a good and a bad way? A semi-toxic man… a clueless man.. brings up fights about the same issues and then apologises endlessly? Never withdraws, never gives you space yet still argues and bickers. Carries the ball in the relationship, but is unhappy about things out of your control? When you still love him but can’t stand him at the same time? When he annoys you and antagonizes you? When he wants to be by your side all the time, when he wants you to share your problems with him, when he is always affectionate but his arguing is turning you off to the point that you no longer look forward to sex the way you used to, when little things like the way he dresses annoy you, but deep down you know you want him, but you want to change him back to way he was before he got too attached, before he started scrutinizing your every move and analysing your every word. Before he turned so needy. When he took pride in his appearance, when he still was trying to impress you. When you want to feel the butterflies again, when you want to feel infatuated again, when you want to feel turned on by him and be impatient to have sex with him again?? What do you do?
    I’m dying to get that back, because I know I still have passion for him, and I love him in general. But his low esteem is taking its toll. He argues and bickers and every time he does it just keeps turning me off more and more. I used to be crazy about him physically just the way he is for me. I want him to stop arguing (which he promised he would as he was begging for another chance for the 100th time). But I also have this issue about the way he dresses. There is no effort on his part. Should I address this and if so then how? I know we’re not supposed to try to change our men or criticize them, but I loved the way he used to look when he’d come to see me. Now it’s just gym clothes unless he comes straight after work for which he’s dressing professionally but then I know it’s not for me and therefore isn’t a massive turn on either. If I’m not allowed to address this then how can I change my perspective and become less annoyed by this man?

    Many thanks

    P,S, Shahrzad, congrats on becoming a life coach and best of luck! 🙂