Name Your Happy, Dreamy Journal – And Let’s Get What We Want

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I have several journals – some I claimed when I was out shopping for journals for gifts for friends, some were gifts to me, and they each have bits written in them. Each has a name of it’s own that I didn’t think up, it just sort of arrived with the journal. One has a quotation written across the front that seems to be its name, and one has a velvet cover, so I think of “Velvet” when I pick it up. One has detailed embossed designs, one has a flower on it’s cover.

Some sit by my bed with a pen, some sit behind my desk, one in the kitchen, one in the car.

If I’m home, I usually run for my computer when I have a thought or an idea, and I’m so fortunate to be able to do that – and when I wake up in the middle of the night, or I lie in bed in the morning thinking up new Tools and wallowing in the light – I grab my journal.

What do I write down? The GOOD things.

Years ago, I used to write my pain. It all came out and turned into a tortured novel not too many people know about. Now I write my happiness.

So – I want to invite you to do the same.

We’re all so used to analyzing, thinking through, wondering, figuring out – especially when it comes to our men – “What IS he thinking?” As though we could magically cure our relationship issues just by knowing what’s going on in his head.

Little do we know he’s probably thinking about the ball game he just saw, or the business deal that went away or the one that’s sitting on the edge, or the one that just got done. Or the moment in his work day that he hated the most or the one that made him proud. Or he’s thinking of the hair in his nose. Sometimes, as a friend once beautifully told me “He just needs to pee.”

So – make yourself a journal. Or buy one, or borrow an old notebook and tear out the old pages to start fresh. Make it pretty so you’ll use it. Make it small enough to carry with you – because it’s when we’re out at the movies, and out on the town, and out with our men that we get our most urgent thoughts. It’s then that we’re most in need of our HAPPY thoughts.

And now – name it. I’ll go around and name all my journals, too, so we can do it together…I’ll take the images I associate with each of them and make it a name. “Glorious Flower” is one. “Velvet” is another. “Home Comfort” is another. “Orange” is the last. Although those names don’t mean anything to anyone else, they mean something to me – and that’s all that counts.

So – name your journal and please comment here to let me know a bit about you and the name of your journal and how it makes you feel to write your happy thoughts and feelings in there.

Why happy thoughts and feelings?

Because the happy ones are the ones that will make you happy.

Happy breeds happy. Happy CREATES happy.

Your brain is happier on happy thoughts.

And the great thing is, you don’t have to make them up.

Even if you’re crying on the floor, devastated by what your lover has done or said, there is a happy thought and feeling in there somewhere. There’s gratitude that you have a floor. There’s happiness that you’re still breathing. There’s a dream of what you truly, absolutely WANT, even if it’s not right in front of you this moment.

Little things. Tiny things. Let’s you and I dig for those tiny, happy, grateful, silly, goofy, alive and kicking things. Let’s catch them as they fly past our brains. And let’s write them down.

If you’d like to post a few of your entries – that would be fabulous and inspiring to us all.

Happy Happy writing!

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1maya on September 10, 2008 at 2:27 am

    He gave me a notebook a few months ago (for no particular reason) and I started to write on it about the sad things and feeling I had about him.
    Then I stopped because I was not doing anything I said I would on my diary. All my ideas were about not talking to him anymore.
    But I still carry the notebook with me everywhere. So, now, Rori, I will tear out the old pages and start anew.

  2.  #2Rori Raye on September 10, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    Thank you so much for writing! Don’t worry about “things I haven’t done” …I know how that one feels, and we’ll find some other, better ways to work with those thoughts – For now, focus on writing down the Good Stuff and just shoving the bad stuff aside. Let me know how it works for you (also – your new journal’s name…)

  3.  #3Ellen DuBois on September 11, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    Dear Rori,
    You were kind enough to comment on my miscarriage site, and I thank you. I felt compelled to pay your blog a visit, and so far, I am feeling ‘lighter’ and better because of it- because of you.

    There is much to take in here, and I look forward to every minute of it. Your journal post is terrific, and it got me to ‘change my thinking’. I’m always trying to protect myself from negative energies and thoughts, but when I write, (down to the nitty gritty about my relationship), it all seems so ‘negative’. I know there’s positive everywhere, and you made me realize that even as I stand on this balance beam, wondering which side I’ll land on when I dismount, (together or apart), I know there is good in every situation. You helped awaken that seed when it comes to writing and thinking about my ‘home life’, which to me, is the most important part of life.

    Again, I’m so grateful for your wonderfully supportive comment on my site, and welcome any more you may have. Additionally, I plan on visiting your wonderful blog/site many more times. Perhaps it’ll help get my head together in terms of a loving, yet sadly distant relationship. Sometimes, we’re not even reading the same book, never mind being on the same page. But, that was negative…wasn’t it?

    Blessings to you, and thanks for all you’re doing to help others, including me.


  4.  #4Rori Raye on September 11, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    Ellen, Thank you so much for your comment, and I so hear you about not “even reading the same book…” as your husband.

    In my own life, I’ve struggled with not being in touch with my own feelings, and so, of course, that’s what my work is all about.

    As I learn to sink more and more into my own depths, what I find is that it’s my resistance to my deeper feelings that feels and comes out “negative,” and that when I sort of slide down, past that mental, resistant, “negative” place, I get to stronger feelings of fear, grief, rage – and that Joy’s there, too.

    The more I can tolerate the fear, grief and rage – the more Joy I connect with – and then that just sort of takes over. As though Joy is stronger than the other feelings, or that it’s just always there, like a light at the end of the tunnel – and that just by going INTO the tunnel, I can trust that I’ll automatically come out the other side and touch Joy.

    And then I notice that my husband’s looking at me.

    As though he can sense my energy’s shifted. It’s all magic…

    Wishing Joy to you, Love, Rori

  5.  #5katja on February 8, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    i just found that posting in the “heal your heart”-category.

    i always wanted to have a journal, carry it with me and write down how i feel and what happens in my life but i never did it. now i feel the urge to finally do it and i already have one,but never used it.

    but what do you think about having one journal to write down all your feelings,even the negative ones, and one to write down the good ones? i feel the urge to write down all my feelings. i have a lot of stuffed down anger and pain and i know it would help me to get deeper into all my feelings and be my true self to write them down.

    thank you for your answer already!


    p.s. i chose the name “lila” for my journal. this would be the one about all my feelings and the other one i would like to name “ruby” for the happy feelings. maybe i’m going to have a third one for working with your tools and i would name that “lola”.