Rori, Will you please be more explicit with your examples.. about what’s the true feminine way & what’s passive aggression?
– I know this cannot possibly feel clear for every situation – because each situation might require a completely different “Script” for you to use!
This is because it’s all about your “vibe,” and what’s underneath your words, that counts! Sometimes, … Read more and leave a comment or question for Rori »
I haven’t seen the ending yet, and I don’t know which man DeAnna – this season’s “Bachelorette” – is going to choose and how it will work out for her, but I do know this – on last night’s show, DeAnna did the work of about 10 years of therapy, completely changed the way she relates to and chooses men, and basically changed her life forever.
That’s a lot to say – and my mouth just hung open watching her make an extremely painful decision.
If you haven’t seen the episode yet, here’s what happened:
DeAnna had the field narrowed down to 4 men – and it was totally obvious to EVERYONE that she was incredibly attracted to one particular man – Graham. She even told the camera that she was “falling in love with Graham.” She talked about how “hot” he was and how much “chemistry” there was, and what a “connection” they had.
And yet – Graham was demonstrating for all of us to see what an emotionally immature, emotionally unavailable, almost “narcissistic” man is like.
He was always in his own head, heart and body, was clearly not even THINKING about what DeAnna was dealing with, totally leaning back and away from her, obviously non-committal, and YET – totally charming, sexy, sweet and adorable.
He was EXACTLY the kind of man so many of us are attracted to – and for DeAnna – he was EXACTLY the kind of man SHE’S attracted to.
So, here she was, this season’s “Bachelorette,” with her very own chance to choose a husband from 25 great candidates. And here she was – hung up on the one man – Graham – who was behaving just like the man – Brad – who’d dumped her on TV in front of millions on last season’s “Bachelor.”
She’d felt devastated and humiliated after Brad had sent her home without the engagement ring she’d been expecting. Even months later she said she was still in love with him and would take him back – though we ALL knew he had no serious interest in her at all.
So, here she was, about to REPEAT the same humiliation of falling for the one man who was NOT chasing after her, not saying loving things, talking only about himself, and leaning AWAY from her instead of TOWARD her.
In their date together, it was painful to watch DeAnna leaning in, trying to keep the conversation going, when we could ALL feel the tension between them – with him leaning away from her, not looking her in the eye, and making NO ATTEMPT to keep HER interest.
As they said goodnight, DeAnna told us that even though it hadn’t “gone well,” she still had all these powerful “feelings” for him.
What would YOU do?