Why Playing “Small” Pushes Your Man Away, And Allowing Him To See Your “Weakness” Brings Him Closer

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And, of course, we women have all been taught the exact OPPOSITE!

I was taught that if you dream big, if you laugh loud, if you want success in all areas of your life – and you’re a WOMAN – you’ll scare a man away.

And that playing “small” and “girly” would make him want you.

It would make him feel like a big man if we made sure we didn’t “show him up” with our confidence and power.

But men LOVE confidence. They love powerfulness in women. They’re excited and turned on by a woman who’s not afraid to be herself.

So – that’s the key – a woman who’s not afraid to be herself.

And, of course – that’s the thing we’re MOST afraid of – that he’ll see who we really are.

So – we’ve talked about what it’s like to feel and play “small.” Now, what does it feel and look like to be “weak”?

Let’s clarify an important point here – the way we FEEL and the way we ACT are completely different and separate things. We can either feel one way and act another, or we can act according to how we feel. Very often, we feel hurt, and so we act angry. Or we feel scared, so we act strong and take charge. Or we feel love, and so we pretend we don’t. The very smartest, best, and most fabulous thing we can do for ourselves is to find a way not to just ACT – because often that’s just a pattern we always tend to act out when we’re feeling strong feelings – but to EXPRESS how we feel.

That could look like: “I’m feeling really bad right now about the way my work is going, and so everything between us makes me feel angry” instead of what we usually do – take it out on him.

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  1.  #1dawn on December 3, 2009 at 5:18 am

    Hi. I may be putting this in the wrong place but here goes. I work in an all male environment. I run heavy equipment. All day long i go about my business with no problems. These guys respect me for my capabilities. I feel more real at work. I say and do what i want . How do i turn this around to my private life? How do I let my real self out without bulldozing them over ?

  2.  #2Jeannette on April 10, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Rori, I would like to just be Jeannette again, omit the 2! Thanks!

  3.  #3annabelle on April 23, 2011 at 7:21 am

    can i ask u any thing about my boyfriend??

  4.  #4annabelle on April 23, 2011 at 7:26 am

    well here we go….
    I have just got bk with my boyfriend, he say he is not then same, it was bad be4 he never txt me nd say he would come and see me nd never come, so i ended it and the other day he came 2 see me said he wants me bk he loves me nd missed me, so i said ok we will give it 1 more go, he said things will be better he will see me more and wnts me 2 stay more, but its gone bk 2 how it was starting with not txting what do i do, my friends think its fine, but i have the filling its not… HELP????