Stay Or Go

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…The concept that being together, in the same space, touching, loving, is not necessarily a “joint” decision – is, perhaps, a decision in every moment by each of you independently – and so if one of you is lagging, feeling distance, the other can, through attention, bring the other through the block just by being there.

This is partnership.

AND – sometimes we have to teach a man through example, and sometimes we just want to walk away.

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  1.  #1Teresa Clement on June 30, 2019 at 4:44 pm

    Hi Rori, I feel confused about what you’re saying here. This seems different from what I’ve heard you say about if a man withdraws. You usually say to let the space be, and seek other avenues of emotional fulfillment. What’s different about this?

    When you say “sometimes we just want to walk away,” what do you mean? Can you tell me more?

  2.  #2Clare on July 9, 2019 at 6:54 am

    I am so in LOVE with this concept, Rori. It sits really well within me, alongside everything I have learned from you about leaning back. It feels good besides what you say about the waterwheel and receiving love and feeling that and then letting that flow out of you. Sometimes a man “withdraws” right there, right in front of you, in your presence. Sometimes a man shouts, “Leave me alone! Go away!” And your job is just to let that really land inside you and feel around it and follow your gut. And sometimes you won’t feel good and you may want to say, “Yeah you know honey, this feels bad. I’m going to take some space now too.” And other times you gut will say, this is where I need to be. And then you may say, “You know I hear you! You just don’t want anyone near you right now. And yet I’m right here honey, I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to sit here with my coffee/knitting/book (whatever feels good to you right then) and I’m beside you in this GRRRR you have for me. So you just GRRRRR away as much as you need.” And sometimes, from across the room, you’ll sense a sadness in your man from across the room and your gut will be like – I need to touch that man right now. And you’ll just move on over and put a gentle hand in him. Not to get him to speak or to shift his sadness or to “do” or “get” anything. But just because that’s where your guts and heart are leading you. This does not feel like leaning forward or “initiating” to me. It feels like being a goddess. Like being all about the moment and not about the outcome. About being super-connected to yourself and being where you are (rather than over focused on him). It’s about love and partnership at a very deep level. It’s about total self-trust and courage. It is something I have started to glimpse in my own life after five years of working Rori’s material through and and I’m just so grateful for her “baby step” approach that has got me here.

  3.  #3mary on July 15, 2019 at 7:44 pm


    I read the title “Stay or Go” and thought, “Oh, I have to read it! She’s speaking directly to me!”

    Oh, I miss the blog so much.

    Not wanting to get onto Facebook!