The Carnival Of Feelings

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Inside me I feel so much I can’t even keep it straight. Carousels and rollercoasters – an entire theme park of emotion. A carnival of feelings.

And – who cares what those feelings are!

I can say I feel mad at this, I feel sad from that, I feel glad because of this, I feel afraid of that….but it really doesn’t matter.

The only reason for discovering any of it is to become more aware of my triggers – but beyond that – it really doesn’t matter.

The only thing that matters is that I feel them fully – and then decide where I want my thoughts to be.

I get to decide what ride I take, what thought I think, where I go, what I do, what I say. I get to let my feelings out, I get to express, I get to choose what to let out, let go, let fly.

I get to be there while this carnival is flourishing – and I can either be miserable in it, or indifferent to it, or celebrate it.  I can even join in and go whoo-hah!

And that’s only in ONE moment!  I get all the other moments to choose different things.

And if I feel so anxious in the presence of the carnival – I get to breathe and make peace with the Ferris wheel and the river raft experience and even the shooting galleries.  I can even point pistols if I want.  I can feel the guilt but not let it run me.

I can either love the carnival or hate it or be indifferent to it or shut it down. I can go to sleep.  I can go to sleep and still be awake.

So –what do I choose?

More important – what do YOU choose?

Love, Rori

 

 

 

 

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834 Comments

  1.  #1Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Hello, world. 😀



  2.  #2tinque on June 16, 2011 at 7:51 am

    Hello my friend SLV – HAH!!!

    xxoo



  3.  #3Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 7:53 am

    Do you think I can play my steel drums at that carnival?



  4.  #4Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 7:55 am

    Tinque if it doesn’t matter why is it that there is so much energy around forcing people to “speak” their feelings here rather than just plain share.



  5.  #5tinque on June 16, 2011 at 7:56 am

    Of course Femininewoman.

    xxoo



  6.  #6Simply Shannon on June 16, 2011 at 8:02 am

    I love this post.

    Life really is a carnival. It’s meant to be fun!

    I get to do what ever I want. And what I’m choosing now is what I want. And I’m always choosing. Always. Now.

    It’s never done and I can’t get it wrong. Brilliant.

    My feelings are my gauge, like the steering wheel on my car. If I’m mad or upset about something then that’s a sign I don’t want to do “that”, whatever “that” is. I turn the wheel slightly away from that which feels bad. I move towards something that feels good. I don’t need to figure out why it feels bad… I just notice I feel bad and that’s not what I want.

    Every time I feel bad, it’s a chance to refine what I want. What a gift!!



  7.  #7Simply Shannon on June 16, 2011 at 8:03 am

    Daria, I’ve been listening to Abraham Hicks a lot lately. I’m posting this for you because it sounded so much like a riff… I couldn’t help but think of you! Love you honey!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kxX2iiV_mc



  8.  #8Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 8:04 am

    Yesterday I spoke up about something I felt uncomfortable about. I said it and he went into saying what he normally says. I sat silently and let him talk but I went deeply into my sadness. I finally responded there is nothing in it for me. I felt a shift in him and felt a knowing that he finally paid attention to what I was saying. He also acknowledged that there was nothing in the situation for me and suggested a timeline when the situation would end. This is not the traditional dating situation but I consider it a circular date because I get to share my feelings. I felt my sadness and when I walked away I ended up crying. What I took away from the experience was the fact that I sank into my feelings and it seemed that the energy was felt and something shifted. I am waiting to see what it creates for me in the future.



  9.  #9Simply Shannon on June 16, 2011 at 8:05 am

    LG, I just wanted to express my gratitude for you posting about Abraham Hicks. I resisted it for a long time. I wasn’t even conscious of my resistance but for some reason never wanted to check it out… until now. Wow. My mind is seriously blown. It feels so good!!



  10.  #10Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 8:11 am

    @6: Simply Shannon

    Hi, SS!!!

    “Thanks, for “holding the banner up for us” while Sweetie and I were away.

    I missed you. How is everything?

    xoxo
    SLV



  11.  #11Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 8:12 am

    @2: tinque

    tee hee 😆



  12.  #12Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:12 am

    SS: Yay! Yay! Yay!!!!

    I feel so excited to hear that. I know how good it felt when I finally got what they are saying. And I keep learning more and more from them.

    Thank you so much for the birthday wishes. <3



  13.  #13Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:18 am

    FW: re #4

    I was thinking maybe so that we can move onto this part.

    “The only reason for discovering any of it is to become more aware of my triggers – but beyond that – it really doesn’t matter.

    The only thing that matters is that I feel them fully – and then decide where I want my thoughts to be.”



  14.  #14Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 8:36 am

    SS you inspired me to accept that maybe I was resisting Hicks also. I heard of him through Louise Hay more than a year ago and never paid attention to anything he does. I am now listening and I feel gratitude to both you and LG. I love some of the ideas they are promoting, deconstructing thought, wow. Thank you.



  15.  #15Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 8:37 am

    I don’t have to figure it all out. What a relief. aaahhh the serenity and calm is coming in Tinque.



  16.  #16Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 8:38 am

    RE 13 I am putting those together with the Hicks deconstruction of thought. I don’t have to figure it out woohoo



  17.  #17Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 8:39 am

    SLV now I feel like saying weeeee



  18.  #18tinque on June 16, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Yay Femininewoman!!!

    xxoo



  19.  #19Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 9:12 am

    6:

    SS~

    Feels wonderful to hear from you!!

    Hope you are doing fabulously!

    ~Lilybelle.



  20.  #20Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 9:16 am

    I love this….

    “I get to decide what ride I take, what thought I think, where I go, what I do, what I say. I get to let my feelings out, I get to express, I get to choose what to let out, let go, let fly.”



  21.  #21Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 9:19 am

    @17: Femininewoman says:
    “… I feel like saying weeeee…”

    I feel like saying it too, again. I’m here at the library so I can print out some Unemployment papers. Rori’s post calls to me. I was becoming anxious and “inventing things to worry about.” The ‘what will I do” about… “things that don’t exist.”

    Sweetie is telling me “You don’t really have to worry about this. You know what to do.” Yes, I do. So why am I anxious? Hmmm, because the world isn’t perfect at this exact moment? And a bureaucrat can’t do simply math? Or she cannot find the right thing in the computer? That’s it.

    And I KNOW BETTER. I will tell others the same thing. I must give that change of idea and feeling to myself and “feel” another way about it. I’ll go on different “Rori” carnival ride. OK.

    I’ll leave the library soon; it’s too noisy in here to get much done, too much music and singing in the computer area

    😀



  22.  #22T-Girl on June 16, 2011 at 9:25 am

    I am feeling especially blonde today because when I first read the post I didn’t get it. Now that I reread it, it made me go aha! Got it! I needed these words today…now when I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster I am going to put my hands up in the air and enjoy the ride!



  23.  #23FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 9:36 am

    I resisted the Abraham stuff at first, too. I couldn’t seem to get past ‘how’ it all started and about the “channeling,” etc. But finally I got to the point where I didn’t care where it came from or what they said about it….I just wanted help 🙂

    As far as the LOA is concerned, I haven’t found anything or anyone more helpful and simple to understand than Esther and Jerry Hicks (Abraham.)

    Brenda, I am praying for you and hoping the best for your situation <3

    Daria suggested (last thread) that I get 'Toxic Men' because I tend to beat myself up. I think I could really learn and heal from this program. I know that beating myself up does not do me any good and I want to learn to love myself enough to not need to do that anymore.

    #8/FW, I'm sorry for your sadness. I understand that sometimes this is part of our healing and growth. I am also seeing results from fully sinking into my feelings. I haven't felt a real 'shift' yet—but those feelings are losing power over me. I guess that's a start.

    #4/FW–I shouldn't answer for Tinque, but I would think that 'speaking our feelings' here (as opposed to just sharing) is for practice and so other Sirens can help us 'tweak' our FMs before we use them in real situations. At least, that's the way I understand it. (Sorry for butting-in if that was only for Tinque.)

    I am so inspired by everyone's journey. <3



  24.  #24FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 9:39 am

    SLV…who is “Sweetie”? Is this a person in your life? Or is it a part of you (your boy voice?) Just curious to know 🙂



  25.  #25tinque on June 16, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Femininewoman – I don’t understand your question, #4

    xxoo



  26.  #26Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Re 23 No apologies necessary. I was just musing. I understand it is for practice if peopel choose not to practice then what?



  27.  #27T-Girl on June 16, 2011 at 9:51 am

    My 13 yo daughter is suddenly taking issue with the time I spend with poker player. She said it is because she misses her dad as she only gets to see him 4 days a month. She sees poker player more than her dad. I could sure use some advice on how to mesh my mom life with my relationship life. I don’t ever want to get to the point where I have to choose between the two. I finally feel like I have the love I deserve and have been without for so long. Poker player says we will overcome this together but I still feel scared.



  28.  #28Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 9:56 am

    Tinque Rori says above it does not matter what those feelings are. I also get the sense here that we don’t even have to speak them. We just have to feel them and decide about our thoughts and where we want to go from there on. The was some comments earlier on about “intellectual discussions” as if it had no place here. Only feeling discussion. I don’t believe I have seen Queenbee and Boomer posting since then. My concern is that they might have felt unwelcome as a result. It it doesn’t matter, if feelings don’t have to be expressed as suggested above why are the intellectual discussions frowned on?



  29.  #29Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 9:57 am

    ps I know we are practicing being in feminine energy but still our boy are a part of us.



  30.  #30Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 10:00 am

    #27
    I don’t know T-girl, this smells a little like a power play to me on your daughter’s part. Would it be possible for her to spend more time with her father?



  31.  #31FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 10:01 am

    FW/#4 I did not notice the word ‘force’ in #4–and reading your other posts, I guess I didn’t quite get it right (ie: the previous discussion about feelings vs. intellect, etc. and what is allowed and what is not supposed to be discussed.) I am interested to hear what Tinque has to say.



  32.  #32tinque on June 16, 2011 at 10:04 am

    I can’t speak for Rori, but the way I understand this is that most feelings don’t have to be expressed, acknowledged yes, but you don’t have to nor is it preferable to voice each and every little nuance.

    For the purposes of healing though, especially in the earlier stages or if something comes up to be processed, then going through the thoughts either here or in a journal can be helpful. It can help you sort through the chaos to come to another feeling, maybe a better feeling place. It can be helpful sometimes to understand from where the chaos comes, not always, but sometimes, and you can only know through experimenting.

    Does this help?

    xxoo



  33.  #33T-Girl on June 16, 2011 at 10:04 am

    Lily T, I agree. Part of me feels I am getting played but then the guilt takes over. I already had a conversation with her dad and he is going to spend more time with her during the week.



  34.  #34Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:11 am

    T-Girl I have a 14 year old girl and a 13 year old boy. I can tell you that at that age they seem to be more interested in the opposite sex than they were before and they have commented on the guys I date and which they prefer. I believe she might be feeling insignificant because of the lack of attention from dad and now what she had with you is being minimized with the presence of Poker Player. I have a friend getting married next week and my daughter tells me the 13-year old daughter of the woman is leaving to go live with her dad in Canada because she was building a relationship with her mom and now that is gone. It seems since the man came in the picture she feels she has lost the connectin she was building with her mom. I can’t advice you what to do but can tell you that I have heard a coach, Katherine Scott suggests that she asks “who is feeling insignificant here” when issues come up in relationships so that is how I deal with my kinds when they do things that seem to be crying out for attention. I have one date who gives my daugher quality time and really acts like a dad with her. I also try my best to spend time outside of focussing on academics and achievements. I am not sure things will change for your daughter immediately but I would take this as a need for attention. I am convinced she would want to see her mom happy.



  35.  #35Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:12 am

    It helps Tinque thanks.



  36.  #36Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 10:13 am

    #33 T-Girl,

    Didn’t you write recently that you thought you might be in love? I’m wondering if your daughter has perhaps picked up on that and sensing pokerplayer is becomming more important in your life, possibly permanent and therefore he would have more of a role in her life as well.

    Could she harbor a secret hope that you and her father would get back together? If so, she might feel especially threatened by the development with pokerplayer.

    I think it’s good she will spend more time with her Dad, because at least she won’t be able to use that as an excuse. You might consider occasionally doing a “special mother-daughter” outing with her as well, so she doesn’t feel pokerplayer is getting more of your attention than she is. Just some thoughts.



  37.  #37Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Tinque I have to add that Jonathan Aslay suggested in the Interview that he was mesmirized by his wife because of her feminine grace. My understanding was that for the most part she was silent during the meetup he was noticing her at with some other girl friends. I also get the sense that being feminine includes acknowledging one’s feeling and knowing how to manage it without necessarily propelling it outward, just being with it and making choices.

    I know though that journaling helps to bring our awareness sharper and as a result heal.



  38.  #38Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Lily-T I know this is addressed to T-Girl but I am wondering if it would not also be good if T-Girl could just ask her “what’s up with that?”.



  39.  #39tinque on June 16, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Yes FW, yes; beautifully said.

    xxoo



  40.  #40Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:21 am

    T-Girl I am sensing that if he calls her more also it could help. I would be concerned that if he seems to be spending more time with her and he mentions you suggested that to him, could she interpret it as you pushing her towards him and away from you so you could have the time you need for PPlayer? Remember children process things differently. What do you think?



  41.  #41kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:22 am

    I’m sick of feeling my feelings.



  42.  #42Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:23 am

    kaitlyn I have been thinking of you all morning and was holding myself back from asking about you.



  43.  #43T-Girl on June 16, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Lily an Fw, thank you. It makes so much sense what you are saying. It has been the two of us for the past year and now there is a third person in the picture. I know she likes him and even talks good things about him with her dad but I guess she is feeling like she is losing the just me and her relationship. Yesterday she was complaining that he comes over everyday which in reality he only comes over once a week. But I guess in her eyes it is every day. This will take some time to work through but I need to show her that our relationship together won’t change. I like the idea of her dad calling her because that is one thing he doesn’t do.



  44.  #44kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:38 am

    I haven’t heard from Adam. I sent him a pic of me yesterday early morning. Because he had sent pics of himself to me. It’s been over 24hrs now. Nothing.

    I guess just being a good listener and supportive while he was crying (and he was considering suicide) because his ex fiancee who left him last year with no warning is now seeing his former NA sponsor. He was bereft more over their deceit; not so much him pining for her.

    I did insinuate I’m here for him but if all it gets me is friendship, it’d feel like a demotion.

    He wrote back after our phone convo that it troubles him that friendship feels like a demotion to me and that he’s not ready to be anyone’s bf right now.

    I called back crying. He truly had no idea why I was crying. I had to explain it to him. He calmed me down and we had more talks days to follow about his ex and his friend. When I mean talks, I mean just me listening and being supportive- not giving advice. Just being femme here.

    He asked me to email him some nice things about him. It’s something we did when we were dating. I emailed a list with everything from what a kind, considerate friend he is, to his talents and smarts I admire, his c*m tastes great, his face, and how he makes me feel warm and protected.

    He writes back ‘my face? really?’ then goes into detail about how little he thinks of his looks and how he was bullied in school by girls.

    I write back ‘You’re gorgeous. I’m an artist. I know what I’m talking about. And everyone knows I have great taste. So there. xo.’

    He writes ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I suppose. Here’s some more pics of me since you seemed to ask before.’

    I write ‘Nice. Thank you. And here’s one of me. Just taken now. 8am. Uncombed hair, no makeup. For you and only you.’

    That was over 24 hrs ago. Maybe I’m feeling anxious for no reason. But I only have myself to blame if he lost attraction. I did indulge in dirty talk he instigated also- against my bff’s advice saying if Adam doesn’t want to be a boyfriend, then just be his friend, no dirty talk, no girlfriend type behavior.



  45.  #45Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 10:38 am

    FW: I have been feeling worried that some people were scared off by that as well. I feel bummed about that.

    When I have made comments about feel bored with intellectual discussions, it was never with the intention of scaring people away.

    I guess I feel a little confused here because I have seen Rori post often how this is a place to practice tools that get us in our feminine energy. I’ve also seen her say we are all coaches/gurus and encourage us to support each other. And I’ve seen here say that this isn’t a place for debate and trying to prove things.

    I wonder what is going on with you? It seems like you feel triggered around this and I feel curious to hear more about it.

    I see some similar irony to how some of us were perceiving negativity in each others words the other day. I’m having a hard time finding to the word to express myself about this, yet it seems like a similar dynamic.

    Am I making any sense here?



  46.  #46Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 10:44 am

    45:

    “I guess I feel a little confused here because I have seen Rori post often how this is a place to practice tools that get us in our feminine energy. I’ve also seen her say we are all coaches/gurus and encourage us to support each other. And I’ve seen here say that this isn’t a place for debate and trying to prove things. ”

    That is exactly what I remembered reading as well.

    Exactly.



  47.  #47Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Kaitlyn: (((hugs)))

    I don’t know what to say. I’m feeling particularly inarticulate today. Feeling good but trying to do too much at one time.

    I do hope you feel better. I believe everything will be fine. I would recommend trying to focus on something that lifts you up and not worry about what he is thinking. He’s just going through his own process.

    Is there anyway you can focus on loving you?



  48.  #48kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:46 am

    sometimes i stay away from here because it’s too distracting. i dont want to feel like i’m only here to dump my crap on you all.



  49.  #49Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:47 am

    RE 45 You are right but I am mostly choosing to remain silent. I prefer the happy carefree energy here. My concern is that I would love to see more people joining in discussions rather than leaving. For me it makes the world a smaller place. Over the last several weeks I have seen too many people leave. I want this Rori world to be all inclusive because we as women can use as much help as is available. I believe Rori, Tinque, Loneplum, you and many who comment have a lot to share and it has helped me.



  50.  #50kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:48 am

    you know what? i’m sick of men ‘going through their own process.’

    no regards to my feelings? i guess we women have to endure being treated like we don’t exist…because thats just how men are.



  51.  #51Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:48 am

    kaitlyn I would prefer you dump your crap on me rather than on Adam or yourself. I know that might come across as a habit toxic towards myself so my disclaimer is that it is not on me but the blog, wweeeeeeee



  52.  #52kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:49 am

    f$ck dave. f$ck being a siren



  53.  #53Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:50 am

    kaitlyn I just asked a man what do you think. He responded “whatever you feel is best”.



  54.  #54kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:51 am

    #52 i mean adam.
    #53 at least that’s a man who’s talking to you.



  55.  #55Eileen Mary on June 16, 2011 at 10:52 am

    I don’t think they see it that way, as if we don’t exist. They have a tendancy to say I love you and think it never be said again and are that way with most things.

    Keep yourself busy and make them look for you. 🙂



  56.  #56Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Lillybelle: Hi! I’m feeling so behind on posts. I know there were several that I wanted to respond to including some of yours.

    Instead I have been getting caught up on some things in my life which feels great too.

    Mostly though I just want to play on siren island.

    Be patient LG. There is time for everything.



  57.  #57kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:54 am

    i feel worried about being abandonned like he did last time after paris.



  58.  #58Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 10:57 am

    “I can say I feel mad at this, I feel sad from that, I feel glad because of this, I feel afraid of that….but it really doesn’t matter.”

    kaitlyn can I encourage you to read the article above?



  59.  #59kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:57 am

    so tempted (though i’d never. i’ve never been a drama queen) to just delete him off my fb and block his #.



  60.  #60kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:58 am

    58 read it. doesn’t help me feel better.

    all this place does is make me feel guilty and weak for having feelings.



  61.  #61Eileen Mary on June 16, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Kaitlyn agreed F Dave, F men, but not being a Siren that’s about you and you don’t want to say F to being you.

    I think we defeat ourselves by practing being a siren with a specific goal towards connecting with one person. It should be about connecting with yourself. Otherwise you are working too hard to connect with that man and he will feel that.

    Letting go is the hardest, especially when they don’t totally let you go. I am going through that right now. Got pulled back in by a man I thought it was all done with last week. Now he has backed off again and I have to lean back for me.

    Date myse4lf tonight pedicure time.



  62.  #62kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 11:07 am

    wtf did i do that was so bad? i was there for him. i listened. i am truly on his side with this bs his ex and sponsor guy are pulling. truly.



  63.  #63kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 11:10 am

    what if adam feels manipulated? like, i was only there being supportive to gain his trust and acceptance?



  64.  #64Nita on June 16, 2011 at 11:13 am

    i went to a tango class and at first i felt ackward the men were my fathers age. I went ahead and jumped into it not to mention that it was sensual tango so they were really close, at embracing level. I felt annoyed at two of them one had armpit odor and the other had awful breath I felt so annoyed and mad. I was mad because they wanted to be so close and however choose to have bad hygene. I felt angry at another man there who was correcting me so much even though he wasnt the teacher and when the teacher would try to explain to the class he was also at the same time explaining and it made me so annoyed. I feel so annoyed when I am in these ackward positions I am willing to be close with these strangers and to put some of myself there, however I feel offended at the lack of on the other end. Couldn’t you use gum? couldn’t you use deodorant? couldn’t you stop bossing me and be nice? Im glad I went its all learning and Im glad Im tapping into my anger. needless to say I told mr. armpitts that I would pass on hanging out and no to giving him my number



  65.  #65kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 11:16 am

    64 Nita

    start stripping. you can feel exactly like this but for money.



  66.  #66Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 11:16 am

    56:

    LG~

    🙂

    Love you.



  67.  #67Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 11:39 am

    How do I speak up for myself without being angry or aggressive? Just listed to Abraham Hicks and sense that was what I was doing in 8 above. I spoke up for myself and though I was feeling angry I was not being angry or aggressive. I can manage my energy.

    “I have not yet decided how long I am going to use you as my excuse to not allow my well being in or to cut myself off from clarity, and abundance. I am so mad at you that I will let go of life itself”. My goodness this Abraham Hicks stuff is brilliant



  68.  #68Sammie on June 16, 2011 at 11:58 am

    FW, where did you find that Hicks quote in 67? That is priceless!!!



  69.  #69Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    RE 68 Here Sammie, LG posted it before http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofRVP3HzgXQ&feature=related



  70.  #70FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    FW…yes…this is where I learned that anger can be a step up on the vibrational scale. We don’t have to stay angry, but it’s good to recognize it (and sometimes let it out/share it) so we can keep moving up the scale. (I LOVE what I learn from Abraham!) You’re right, it IS brilliant 🙂



  71.  #71Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    @24: FlowerChild77 says:
    “…who is “Sweetie”? Is this a person in your life? Or is it a part of you (your boy voice?) Just curious to know …”

    All of the above at various times. Sweetie is my best loving self, my manifested beloved and soulmate, my little boy, my big boy, my guy in my thoughts. As invisible as Harvey the Rabbit. But it seems I can feel a presence sometimes.

    Every night since March 20, 2011, I ask the question “Are you sleeping with me tonight?” That’s for Sweetie so that I can practice having a man around the house. Arielle Ford’s “Soulmate Secret” says we must make space in our lives for our beloved so this is one way I do it. It’s fun…
    😀



  72.  #72FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    kaitlyn…I’m so sorry you feel bad. I’ve thought of a few things while mulling over your story. I don’t know how long he’s been clean, but in AA/NA one of the basic rules is NO big decisions during the first year (which includes relationships.) Is it possible he wasn’t through the first year yet when you two got together? Or is he in his first year right now? This could explain a lot.

    It sounds like he just doesn’t have what you’re feeling you need right now from him. I wouldn’t think a guy who is still that affected by what his ex-fiance does is not in any position, emotionally, to start another relationship.

    I think your bff’s (at the end of #44) advice is very smart. Can you CD as long as it’s been established that Adam is not a bf? You sound very smart and very creative. I bet you can attract some very step-up men <3



  73.  #73Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    71:

    SLV~

    I love your Sweetie.



  74.  #74Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    RE 73 Lilybelle I have a male friend in my life who did that continuously. I used to laugh at him because he would even talk out loud to her when we were on the phone. He is n ow happily married to an old friend.



  75.  #75Sammie on June 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Thanks, FW #69! I looked at SS’s link and it was also quite great but not the one you had quoted. Today I was in a very low place with thoughts of needing more income and everything else feeling a bit empty and sad overall. Soooo glad to have found the Abraham links today! I want to live a more feel-good life!!!

    xoxoxo



  76.  #76Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    RE 72 There was something to that effect in the Interview this month about men.



  77.  #77FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    SLV–ok, I get it 🙂 That’s great! I have heard the “Calling In The One” call and I understand what you’re talking about. When I fall asleep each night I pretend that “he” (my happily-ever-after) is holding me. I fall asleep feeling like “he’s” right there with me. (I try not to think of xbf because I’m trying to let go of the outcome and be open to all possibilities…and he is only one such possibility and may not step up enough for me.)

    I need to get going on clearing out my house (city-wide rummage sale coming up) so I have ‘room’ for another person in my life. There are lots of things I’ve been hanging onto that only serve to tie me to the past. I am actually anxious to get rid of this stuff. I’m excited about how it will feel to be so much ‘lighter.’ 🙂



  78.  #78Sammie on June 16, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    SLV,

    I love the way you talk with your Sweetie! It is so refreshing! So many things you say feel good and wise and light hearted! I love it!!!

    Sammie



  79.  #79Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    50: kaitlyn says:

    you know what? i’m sick of men ‘going through their own process.’

    no regards to my feelings? i guess we women have to endure being treated like we don’t exist…because thats just how men are.

    Thursday, 16 June 2011 @ 10:48am

    To me, not thinking about him and focusing on lovin myself IS having regards for my feelings. When I think about him, I feel angry, guilty, scared, and pissed off. When I think about loving myself, I feel good.

    I am taking care of my feelings. I am regarding my feelings.



  80.  #80Daria on June 16, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Fw – if we were working with Rori, she would have us express in feelings, from the first sentence, and the next.

    This is challenging, and it’s Crucial to her work.

    I’ve been here 4 year maybe more, since the blog started, people come and go all the time. Usually their reasons are not what we think. There are also SO many women who read and don’t post.

    It used to be that women came here, and rori would address newcomers. Then we would all get them practicing feeling messages on blog. Their first posts would get tweaked to feeling messages. This got them practicing Quickly!

    Then they would get to practice other tools and usually encouraged to Cd.

    Roris tools are lifechanging. I feel sad to think of women coming here and remaining stuck for a long time.

    The tools don’t Work if we don’t use them. And the tools like feeling messages, are usually uncomfortable to start using… Unless you’re part of a community … Like this blog, where you’re encouraged supported reminded, even pushed a little.

    I know u don’t think it’s so important to say them. And if Rori was working with you, she would make you say them. Part of the reason you think it’s not important, is because you haven’t experienced the amazing transformation and the way interactions soften when they’re used consistently.

    I feel dissapointed that u probably hate me or have resistance built up to hearing me, and I feel very ineffectual to push u towards practicing.

    It’s like math class. U know, the idea is to learn math, not just chit chat all day. Chit chat is fine, but were here to learn math.

    This is like Rori tools school, and expressing in feeling messages is like counting. Rori is not going to ‘let you get away’ with not using them, Constantly, of u are her client.

    I only wish I had been giving out more energy when you and the new batch of ‘resistant’ sirens sirens showed up, before the sisterhood of no-we-wont-practice.

    We had a long, what seemed like battle with Jaqueline before that, which ended in her practicing them almost a year later. Even Mercedes used a couple.

    Before, those were our main ‘dissenters’.

    Now it feels overwhelming.

    It often doesn’t feel safe to me, I hear u experience it as sunshine happy… And it used to be like that for me too. Now it feels more like slogging through mud. It feels a little unfair since this is my main maybe Only source of emotional
    support.

    I have overtime since built up my own ability to support myself, so I feel glad of that. But it sucks to come here and not have support, to see lots of judgements against me, and to see women Resist the very thing they came here for.

    Rori tools.

    Feeling messages are a must.

    To dissolve conflict – on blog – again, feeling messages are a must.

    I know I’ll never see it, because you haven’t experienced it. It’s like me telling u u can breathe underwater if u go down 20 feet. The thoughts are, ‘no way’



  81.  #81Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    And I am not depending on someone else to act a certain way so that I can feel good.

    This cures fears of abandonment because I am not abandoning myself.

    How can I get mad at him when I am the one abandoning myself?

    Anyway, that’s where I am coming from. Not to say I always practice it, but I feel great when I do.

    Love you Kaitlyn <3



  82.  #82FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Oooh! I have to tell you Sirens! I ‘manifested’ $20.00 today. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but this gives my vibe a boost up so I truly believe I can do this on a bigger level. This is the significant part.

    The $20.00 was behind a larger fridge magnet. It was money that my daughter put there to pay me back for something and I’d forgotten about it for nearly a year! I was so surprised to find it. (Not so significant….just details.)

    Again…the point is that now I am much more in alignment with what I really want. (There’s a process somewhat like this in the “Ask and it is Given” book (Abraham.) The whole purpose of it is for us to “get used to” the idea of receiving money and to focus on that—-rather than the lack of it or how badly we need it.

    I’m so excited about this. Totally unexpected and JUST what I needed right now. My money vibe has been in the pits lately.

    I know it probably doesn’t sound too exciting, but anything that can boost my vibe around money is exciting to me! 😉



  83.  #83Queenbee on June 16, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Wow, this is so interesting. Love this post!

    Exactly where I am. Been in the carnival observing my feelings….

    I did sleep today until 2pm. Woke up at 4am then 6am then 8am, felt blah and decided to read in bed. I fell asleep giving myself a hug and woke up at 2pm.

    mmh, how interesting… been under my bridge for some time now.

    It’s difficult knowing what to do with all these feelings…

    I’m noticing that I spend more time under than on the bridge or going higher.

    *Sigh*. Then I’m like ‘so what!’

    I’m choosing to love myself no matter what anything looks like.

    It’s more fun loving myself than beating myself up for stuff that isn’t even what I think it is.

    I’m home alone for the next 2 weeks… then some two months more… I didn’t go to the Big Apple…

    Some feelings around that… some peace and some guilt.

    I don’t feel like crying, screaming and stamping my feet.

    It’s more like sombre.

    It’s also peaceful, quiet… I meet people and it’s fun.

    Being by myself is always an amazing experience – exciting, insightful, controlled, serene, measured, expanding…. and more.

    Last night I put on my spinning ball in my studio and danced away in front of the mirrored walls all by myself. Was so much fun!

    I’m loving my studio more and more these days and spending more time here.

    The somberness definitely comes from not being in a relationship. I miss the dates, intimacy, friendship, sharing, caring-ness… then I feel like a complete blurb for feeling this way….

    Perhaps a bit needy…

    It’s like when life itself feels like one big soup – and there’s the complimentary soup of emotions to go with it.

    So soup… that’s me now 🙁

    Loving myself. Loving my soup.

    xoxo



  84.  #84Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    @64: Nita

    B.O.? Oh, no! Can you get another partner? Someone age appropriate and yummy?

    xoxo
    SLV



  85.  #85Daria on June 16, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    OMG I said, no law enforcement on my profile, and.., I’m getting hella police officers. Lol!

    I feel amused!



  86.  #86Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    @73: Lilybelle

    Me too. 😉

    xoxo
    SLV



  87.  #87FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    #80/Daria It feels bad reading how we, who are on the blog lately, don’t measure up somehow. Between this and that we make the blog “boring” I feel uninspired to really get ‘into’ this. I didn’t know it was a competition or that we had to earn a place here.

    I come here for encouragement and to learn. I feel really sad reading that having me (and whoever else didn’t make the grade) on the blog makes it feel like “slogging through mud.”

    I know I should have just ignored this. I know better….but all I feel right now after reading your post is—-turned off and not good enough.



  88.  #88Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    @77: FlowerChild77 says:
    “…When I fall asleep each night I pretend that “he” (my happily-ever-after) is holding me. I fall asleep feeling like “he’s” right there with me. (I try not to think of xbf because I’m trying to let go of the outcome and be open to all possibilities……”

    That’s it, exactly. Another “Sweetie!” I made space for him during the day too… he has a little reading nook with a big comfy chair…he’s not always here though, takes off to do stuff with the guys… 😆

    😀



  89.  #89Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    @78: Sammie

    😀

    xoxo
    SLV



  90.  #90Daria on June 16, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    I want to ‘let go’ the anger I am getting triggered on the blog. I think last night I was holding onto it and I almost made myself sick.

    I want to forgive myself for putting myself in this situation.

    I want to forgive the other people that trigger me.

    I want to release this ‘clenching’ feeling.

    I love you Daria. I love you Daria. I love you Daria.

    My heart aches

    I love you heart . Thank you heart thankyou.

    I feel small, like 5 in the face of unfairness. Aha! It feels like being punished by my mom, where my feelings didn’t count against her overwhelming energy and it felt unfair.

    I choose to heal this.

    Angels please come amd heal this for me u have my permission thank u.

    Everyone thank u for triggering me.



  91.  #91kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    What do I do when he finally does contact me?

    This ‘be warm and open’ stuff is starting to make me feel like some sucker who is cool with men treating her like crap, blowing hot and cold whenever they see fit with no regards to my feelings.



  92.  #92kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    Hearing my bff say via text:

    “Adam said he just needs a friend right now. You lost his attraction because you decided to ignore the word friend as you continued to sign off your emails with ‘xo’ and indulge in sexual innuendos in convo.”



  93.  #93Daria on June 16, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    Flowerchild – sorry you’re feeling bad and triggered.

    U know, I think you’re doing great, and you’re practicing.

    I wasn’t referring to you, but to the people who came somewhat before u, people who don’t want to practice their feeling messages on blog.

    For you, it seems u feel guilt often, and take on responsibility for stuff that is not yours. That’s a boundary hole thing tied to beating urself up.

    What helped me stop consciously beat myself up was the ‘pit the hammer down’ tool Rori had. I imagine myself putting down the huge cartoon hammer i was bearing myself with, and instead, just feel what I feel. – which is usually stuff like humiliation, hopelessness, anger – intense feelings that I was beating myself up to keep from feeling.

    Thank you for telling me how you feel reading my post.

    It must seem like im blaming others and I can imagine that feels bad. I’m babystepping here and I’m coming out of a defensive place – I don’t feel safe,

    I also push myself, to say things I feel afraid to say, on a consistent basis, and I have a belief that this will make ne more likely to be attacked.

    The truth is it’s all My energy and that’s where the healing lies. Other people I just ‘hire’ to play out the unhealed patterns.



  94.  #94Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    Daria you addressed this to me “I know u don’t think it’s so important to say them.” and I am extremely curious about how you know that or how I am thinking? I actually shared an experience above where I used them and I have been using them and sharing at times that even you reacted to.

    I don’t like to be pushed to do anything. When I am pushed I resist. Last time I checked it was human nature. I also hear Rori teaching about not pushing for any outcome, just being. That is what resonates with me.

    Interesting to see someone who calls herself a coach and have been pushing me in particular about judgementalism to be judging me and others as being “resistant sirens” even after sharing my feelings. I guess this is deliberate to send a message. I also guess if you would pay attention you would see it. I get the sense sometimes that you are so self absorbed that you only see things that are centered around you. I also get the sense that you are a self appointed Rori police. A lot of u’s. I know. Telling me though that Rori will not let me “get away with” feels constricted and controlling. I choose to make choices in my life.

    The world evolves and obviously the Rori blog has evolved. I appreciate and respect where you are coming from but I believe the world is a big place and evolution and growth is a natural part of life. Our full being includes intellect and thoughts. Though that might be the place we spend most of our time and yes we are trying to change that here it is still a part of my makeup that I love and embrace.

    Yes a happy place because that is the thought I choose. Isn’t it amazing how people are in the same place but experience it differently. Isn’t that how life is. I believe emotions are contagious so I prefer to emote happy sunshine ones.

    I also see Lucy directly address you regarding the judgement that you choose to ignore. Is this Law of Attraction working somehow? I feel there has been direct effort to draw me into conflict but I am not interested in that so I don’t respond to harsh voices.

    Imagine that you are all the way “over there” knowing what I have experienced, interesting. I believe in respect of and to people it is my place to allow them to be who they choose to be and share what they choose to share. I have shared my opinions about what I read, I know but generally out of respect for people’s choices I don’t believe anyone should be pushed in any particular direction.



  95.  #95Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    RE 87 Can I redirect you to Abraham Hicks. Many things I usually don’t read.



  96.  #96Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Back the Carnival of Feelings on the ferriswheel “wwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeee”



  97.  #97Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Queenbee I feel happy to see you back here.



  98.  #98Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    RE 82 Yayy Flowerchild. Sending my energy to help you manifest more wwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeee



  99.  #99Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    #88 SLV

    I’m glad you clarified that. When I started reading this blog more a couple months ago I thought “Sweetie” was your blog name for your actual boyfriend. I really like the idea of visualizing a sweetie, making room for him, and imagining what he would be doing or saying.

    I’m gonna get me my own “virtual sweetie”. What shall I name him? Hmm.



  100.  #100Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    99:

    Isn’t it a wonderful idea. Lily?

    I really admire how SLV has this whole process working for her…Sweetie has has own reading nook and I would dare say, though I don’t know for sure, that there are books there for him…the soulmate rings displayed in a pretty art form arrangement and I love, love, LOVE how they go out for coffee and walks together.

    I don’t mean to talk about SLV as if she isn’t here, I just appreciate this so much and I feel kinda gooey when I hear Sweetie mentioned…

    ~Lilybelle.



  101.  #101Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    Yeah, okay….

    Sweetie has HIS own reading nook..

    Out the door for a CD with a MAN this evening.

    I even got to come home from work and get prettisul first. 😉

    This is the one with FourYearAgoPoofer.

    Hee hee



  102.  #102Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    100 Lilybelle,

    Yeah me too. Sweetie is a great partner.:)

    Better I think than some I’ve had in real life LOL!



  103.  #103Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    Hope you have fun with FourYearAgoPoofer Lil. Interesting, vedddy interesting. 🙂



  104.  #104kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    I never know what’s right. This place is too confusing.

    a) be vulnerable. use feeling messages to express your vulnerability so you don’t look like you’re blaming, and also it gets the man to open up.

    OR b) think like tinque and keep your feelings to yourself because theyre youre graemlin voices; that way you can be warm and secure.



  105.  #105kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    i grab the trapeze, fall, and die in the carnival.



  106.  #106Mel on June 16, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    I hate carnivals and roller-coasters and any kind of amusement rides. They make me sick. Kinda like I’m feeling right now. 🙁



  107.  #107tinque on June 16, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    kaitlyn – Oh kaitlyn, I feel so bad you’re hurting and feeling confused. There isn’t one way or another way. All ways are useful and valid.

    You know the analogy of being able to see the forest or the trees? Can you instead see both?

    24 hours is such a short time in boy time as you have experienced. Give him a chance. He is feeling depressed. Depressed individuals tend to lethargy.

    Breathe my dear.

    xxoo



  108.  #108Daria on June 16, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    yay! feeling excited
    HandsomeMan, who i thought was pushing for sex, has actually been consistent about calling and contacting me even though i sometimes miss his calls or dont answer his texts

    today he called and wanted to see me later, and i said ok

    i actually felt VERY OPEN AND SAFE in the convo with him!

    yay!!!

    i feel happy and excited!

    yay for me feeling closer and safer to HandsomeMan!



  109.  #109Daria on June 16, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Thank you Shannon for the Abraham link!

    I feel more pull toward abraham stuff lately

    adding abraham to channeling ‘wat to do’ list



  110.  #110Daria on June 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    FW – omg i feel so relieved you addressed this:

    `Daria you addressed this to me “I know u don’t think it’s so important to say them.” and I am extremely curious about how you know that or how I am thinking?`

    YAY! this is just NV stuff that was going on in my head “she doesnt think its important. she hates you and wont listen to you. blah blah”

    thank you for catching that – SMACK! in the catchers mit

    totally not about you

    these are fear nv’s and thoughts jumping around in my head.

    they are very familiar

    i think they’ve been with me for a Very long time

    it felt REALLY uncomfortable to “be” with the energy of what i was feeling like in my triggered state

    it feels so OVERWHELMING!

    I want to apologize to everyone for the judging and beliefs I wrote out and stuff I have done in my experiments trying to heal this…

    I felt carried away sometimes – meaning voices were “running” me

    It felt really stressful and I was engaging in SCREAMING

    NO!

    in as many ways as i could find

    and i love myself for that

    and at the same time, i just shifted my energy with some EFT and some abraham and…

    i feel so peaceful

    im feeling hte hotness, shame , agian.. these feelings are really overwhelming for me… they are remnants of a time when i was a child and didn’t have many resources to process this stuff

    i LOVE ME

    i love you guys for being here for me and triggering me to this stuff

    im choosing to believe that by “getting to” this “strong stuff” it means im really doing the BIG CHANGE work now, im down to the big scary ones that will bring tremendous and life transforming change

    its like Rori says… in the “through the tunnel” tool…

    I don’t have to climb my way out of the pits – wat i was trying to do

    I can just “let myself out” through the side door

    that feels so much more peaceful

    ***

    im noticing some tightening around my neck

    and in my tummy

    i am breathing through it

    i feel the red hotness in me again talking about this

    and that is OK!

    i love my redhotness i love me

    and that feels like a sigh of relief

    i love my sigh of relief 🙂

    and that feels like tummy gurgle

    and smile

    i love my tummy gurgle
    and smile



  111.  #111Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    Oh Mel, sorry to hear that. (((((((Hugs))))))))



  112.  #112Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    @96: Femininewoman says:
    “…Back the Carnival of Feelings on the ferriswheel “wwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeee…”

    Me too. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I don’t see many carnivals and I haven’t been to a state fair in a long, long time … but I go to park playgrounds all the time.

    I’m sometimes up, sometimes down…Teeter-totter/seesaw… although I don’t see many of these anymore… but I usually have my heels in the air… on the swings…

    wheeeeeeeeee
    😀

    xoxo
    SLV



  113.  #113Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    Lily T and Lilybelle in the Soulmate Secret and also Rori recommends emptying a drawer, making space in the cupboard, setting table for him, clearing his side of the bed. I have done all that including taking pictures of my nieces, nephews etc family members out of the bedroom. I would not be surprised if SLV have done those too. Another recommendation is a vision board or scrapbook with pictures creating your dream life. Really awesome stuff.



  114.  #114Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    @99: Lily T. says:
    “…When I started reading this blog more a couple months ago I thought “Sweetie” was your blog name for your actual boyfriend….”

    He is my *actual boyfriend* at the moment. Why not? Well, I’m not sure about the boyfriend-girlfriend deal. I’m kind of with Rori on that one. I think of him as my “partner-in-crime” or my teammate.

    Maybe “Sweetie” would like to visit the blog. He hasn’t so far…that I know of…

    xoxo
    SLV



  115.  #115Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    RE 112 Isn’t it an awesome feeling? My heels are in the air with you wheeeeeeeeeeeee



  116.  #116Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    @100: Lilybelle says:
    “…I just appreciate this so much and I feel kinda gooey when I hear Sweetie mentioned…”

    Thanks for the kind words. It’s a happy thing to have Sweetie while I’m working on my stuff.

    😀



  117.  #117Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    @113: Femininewoman says:
    “…Another recommendation is a vision board or scrapbook with pictures creating your dream life. Really awesome stuff…”

    I made some space but I haven’t done a vision board or scrapbook. Did you make any of those? I recall first hearing about these things from you. Perhaps end of summer I’ll make a treasure board/vision board kind of thing. I’m coasting along spending time with me.

    xoxo
    SLV



  118.  #118kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    Thanks, TINQUE.

    Trying to breathe and see both ways. I just feel confused as to which works when?

    He just txtd ‘Thank you…great pic.’

    I feel so mad I can’t respond. Is responding ‘You’re welcome’ ok? His self-esteem and depression is so shaky, that’s why I have to be so careful about how I word things, esp now that I’ve flooded him with compliments and admiration (a lean forward from me which he asked for), all signed ‘xo’ at the end.

    And not a single ‘xo’ back from him. He started off corresponding with me last month, signing his emails off ‘xo.’ I feel confused.



  119.  #119retailtherapycat on June 16, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    I am sitting here on the computer and the man who came to see me tonight is asleep in my bed, I feel so angry that he does not step up, I feel so angry that I can not be successful in attracting anyone on a dating site. He would not cuddle me before he went to sleep – just said “go to sleep” he has been so non commital and I exploded told him he was all f”&cking mouth and no action.

    I am sitting in my living room contemplating getting out the sofa bed rather than sleeping in my own bed with this man that Ive fallen for, who has this complete stangle hold on my emotions, who holds me in his fist with no care….

    arrrrggggghhhhh!



  120.  #120retailtherapycat on June 16, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    I feel so stiffled as he does not listen to me, I state my feelings, I am so wrapped up in him, he is so not wrapped up in me. I want to date other men, they text me and then fade away. They email me and then fade away. I want a man who will step up – I want this man to step up but I know he wont…



  121.  #121retailtherapycat on June 16, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    Why do I want this charismatic exciting man, who makes me tingle when i get a text or a phone call from him…

    Why do I want someone who is not available to me….

    Who tells me that he is not in love with me, he is just having fun…

    It does not feel like fun to me – but then text and tingle

    Damn my emotional response to him… damn it



  122.  #122Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    RE 104 kaitlyn I am not sure that Rori suggests there is a “right” way. I have seen her suggest experimenting to see what works for you. She says to lean back when you are sure you are coming from a place of needing something in return, seeking some outcome. I have seen her encourage people to lean forward if you need to prove to yourself that being the boy does not work. If you are a Rockstar and can feel like “whatever” you can lean forward. I am pretty sure I have seen her say blurting out “in the moment” is sexy. I remember Mercedes responding to that, maybe you weren’t here yet.



  123.  #123kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    retailtherapycat,

    i love your name. i had a major barney’s addiction before i had to live like a normal person. ugh.



  124.  #124tinque on June 16, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Maybe kaitlyn his thank you great pic means xoxo.
    I understand the confusion. It took me a long while to figure out the xos that were being “voiced” in other ways.

    Even if he doesn’t mean it this way (though you will never really know), imagine this is what he means. If you have to make it, and I suggest you do, make it up good.

    xxoo



  125.  #125kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    tinque,

    thank you. xo.

    lolz seriously, thats a good way of looking at it. but does it mean i’m being positive and light? or does it mean i’m being delusional?



  126.  #126Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    RE 121 That sounds just like what Johnathan Aslay describes about the chemical reaction we feel in this month’s Interview with Rori. It is the hazards of chemistry that we get when we get hooked to the Alphamale confidence. It is intoxicating because it feels good.



  127.  #127retailtherapycat on June 16, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    Thank you Kaitlyn, even window shopping is retailthrerapy – it means a lot that I am not alone on siren island tonight.

    Not ignored by everyone, even if I am ignored by this man.

    I wish you freedom and resources to shop at Barneys!

    xx



  128.  #128tinque on June 16, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    Neither. It means you’re manifesting. If nothing else you will feel better in the moment.

    xxoo



  129.  #129kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Alrighty, so what do I say to Adam? Just ‘you’re welcome’ ???

    i want to look kind but not like some crumb taker like i’ve been looking like. do y’all feel i’m looking like a crumb taker lately?



  130.  #130Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    RE 117 No scrap book with I have an email from Mind Movies that have some pictures that come very close to my perfect life. I watch it often.



  131.  #131kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    carnivals remind me of insane clown posse whom i hate.



  132.  #132Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    RE 127 retailtherapycat I wondered in the past why guys seem to roll over and fall asleep after sex. I heard a coach and have read about the hormone excretions that causes that. I guess Tinque might be best to elaborate on that. I am wondering if you did before he fell asleep?



  133.  #133Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    I am watching Sex and the City. Charlotte so reminds me of the cat so serene and relaxed in her silence sometimes.



  134.  #134Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    #113 FW, I like the idea of creating a scrapbook of my “dream life”, I’m really going to have think about what that would look like, start getting some images off the net, as I don’t subscribe to magazines. Thank you!

    #114 SLV,
    Sweetie on the blog? Rut Ro, another masculine voice, yikes! 🙂



  135.  #135Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Kaitlyn,

    You are so funny. I love it when you let it loose. 🙂



  136.  #136Daria on June 16, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    FW – i just started reading the rest of the post, but it felt bad, and i felt punched in the chest

    i skimmed a little and felt worse

    i don’t want to read it anymore

    i don’t want to feel judged either…

    as far as pushing, coaches push, a little bit.. its part of the job

    how and when to push is a skill that i don’t feel very confident in all the time



  137.  #137Violet on June 16, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

    — Eleanor Roosevelt



  138.  #138Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    RE 134 I know of coach after coach who recommends to get really clear on that.



  139.  #139Daria on June 16, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    i feel heavy hearted

    i love my heavy heart

    and that feels like…

    sigh

    i love my sigh

    and that feels like

    giglle

    i love my giggle

    and that feels like

    more smiling

    i love my more smiling

    and that feels like

    bright eyes

    i love my bright eyes

    and that feels like

    pressure on chest, big breath

    i love my pressure on chest, big breath

    and that feels like

    more smiling

    i love my more smiling

    and that feels like

    tuning out

    i love my tuning out and that feels like

    giggling

    i love my giggling and that feels like

    burping!

    i love my burping

    and that feels like

    more burping

    i love my more burping adn htat feels like

    hiccups

    i love my hiccups and that feels like

    gurgle in my chest

    i love the gurgle in my chest and that feels like

    pinch on side and big smiles

    i love my pinch on side of chest and big smile

    andt hat feels like

    pressure on chest

    i love my pressure on chest

    and that feels like half ywan

    i love jmy half ywan and that feels like

    tingling in mouth and tummy

    i lov emy tingling in mouth and tummy and that feels like

    giggling

    i love my giggling

    and that feels like

    half yawn

    i love my half ywan and that feels like

    giggling loud

    i lvoe my giggling loud and that feels like

    smile

    pinchisn nose

    i love my pinching nose and my smile



  140.  #140Daria on June 16, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    i love you part of me that feels very angry that im allowing people around who are judging you and hurting you

    im sorry for doing that to you and allowing them in our space

    i embrace you and am telling you you are PERFECT, you are DIVINE< you are beautiful and a blessing!

    and those peoeple who seem to be attacking you are divine and perfect in themselves, they actually don't mean to harm you beautiful baby

    i know you feel scared… awwww

    i want you to know you are safe, i am taking care of you

    they are just triggered and fighting mirrors pretty baby!!

    i love you love you love YOU

    you are AMAZING

    you are LOVE

    you are so perfect

    thank you for being you



  141.  #141Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    #138 FW

    A couple weeks ago DE shared a really good quote about visualizing what you want to create it. I meant to copy and save it, but I forgot.

    DE, if you’re reading can you submit it again? It was by Katherine_____



  142.  #142Violet on June 16, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    Suggestion:

    Perhaps it would be best served not to direct comments towards people that ‘trigger’ negative emotions?

    Sometimes the best response is no response at all.

    ~ Violet ~



  143.  #143tinque on June 16, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    Yes FWn it is hormones. Please no one take it personally. Even K as sensitive and cuddly as he is will doze off.

    xxoo



  144.  #144Femininewoman on June 16, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    RE 141 Hope she does. I might have missed it as I don’t remember it.



  145.  #145Daria on June 16, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    there must be a part of me that feels very angry upset and abandoned

    who screams “who are you !!! who are you to talk so loud! youre NOT supposed to!”

    who are you to live freely and uniquely and want to change the world?

    who are you to not do stuff out of responsibility, and launch on a path to shift to doing what you want only

    Abraham is bullshit!

    get back here and be a good girl!!!

    get back here and BE responsible, be an adult

    be an adult even if youre 5 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 its not an excuse!!!

    remember the 9 year old who raised 3 siblings

    you have to do that”

    who are you to defy norms?

    who are you to step up and be different

    who are you to decide that reality is malleable

    who are you to decide that life is not hard after all

    dammit life IS HARD

    an d its your job to continue living it, HARD

    not easy!”

    rarrgh

    i feel so out of control with you going all free like this!

    i feel scared!

    i feel ignored

    i feel invisible

    i feel like i dont matter, like you dont like me, i feel abandoned ”

    i feel like im “different” than you and i dont want to be like those people you are like!”

    i love and embrace this part of me

    i am in charge

    and thank you for trying to protect me

    and im going to go on flying out of my cage anyway

    im going to bloom my heart wide open

    im gonna show my power

    and i wont abandon you

    i embrace you

    i feel lik eim in a firestorm hurricane

    i love my firestorm hurricane

    mmm

    hot and windy and reaching out for the lil part of me that is separated

    i love me

    i love you little part of me



  146.  #146Violet on June 16, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    I really like how Rori used, The Carnival of Feelings as a euphinism.

    This type of writing creates a visualization and enables me to understand the ‘bigger picture’ of viewing emotions in a pleasant environment.

    I could create any environment in which to explore my emotions. It’s like creating a space in my head that feels secure and untouchable by negativity.

    One place I’d like to visualize is a rock that I used to sit on when I wanted to be in my own space.

    I would contemplate the great expanse of the universe and my relationship within it.

    Sometimes I felt insignificant. I didn’t feel like I belonged with this microorganism of people living on the face of the earth.

    Now I realize how significant each and everyone of us are. It’s unfathomable to grasp the meaning of this.

    Rori used ‘The Carnival’ in her example. I used that rock I sat on. What’s really great is that there doesn’t even need to be ‘a place’ to experiment with emotions. It can come from within.

    There is one place that supercedes all others. That is intimacy with God.

    ~ Violet ~



  147.  #147DE on June 16, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    Lily T #141:

    Wow, i feel touched u liked the quote…:) Give me a minute here…in the middle of cooking …saute prawns with garlic and steamed jasmine rice with vegetables…of course, garlic too 🙂

    Warm hugs,



  148.  #148Daria on June 16, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    “im going to pretend that you are as i want you to be, and ignore that you are as you are

    and as i get good at pretending that you are as i want you to be, you will become irrelevant, because i will be a vibrational match{ … to what i want… }”

    from Abraham hicks



  149.  #149DE on June 16, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    Quote:

    “Until you are able to see yourself living the life that you truly want, it will be difficult for you to create it.” Kath*rine Woo*ward Thomas.

    Is this the one?

    Warm hugs,



  150.  #150Lily T. on June 16, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    Thanks DE! Yes that was the one.

    Now I have it saved in a file: Wisdom from RR blog

    Warmest hugs back to you. 🙂

    (Wish I was there for dinner – yum!)



  151.  #151Daria on June 16, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    the feeling is fear, lots of tingly HOt fear, hmm wow!



  152.  #152Dawn on June 16, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Daria, 148 Feels perfect !!!!!!!



  153.  #153Emerson on June 16, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    85 Daria LOL That is so funny!



  154.  #154DE on June 16, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Kaitlyn:

    I know u are hurting and u are feeling confused…please believe me, i was u not that long ago…

    The fact that u have begun to cry, express u vulnerability…it’s just the beginning to a new U…

    When I first allowed myself to just be without caring what “he” or “she” might think of me…I cried a lot…sometimes even out of the blue…but u know what??? I felt better and stronger each time…

    Crying does not mean we are weak…to the contrary…

    Here is how I see u situation…

    You are both two wounded people…i imagine an ocean…both of you fighting for air…u holding him (like u do know, being his bs friend, listening to his whining…”)…Well, this picture reminds me of being a mother…Do u want to be Adam’s mommy???
    On a different note, I sense you are strategizing…that is why u are feeling confused…

    When I sense confusion, it is when I try to rationalize and not listen to my spirit within me…confusion means, my integrity is not aligned between my mind and my spirit…something worthy looking into..

    When I decided to cut J loose, it was because I finally accepted being wounded…very wounded animal…i needed to retreat and regain my strength…a good human being would understand…but selfish (in a toxic way) individuals don’t…so, honoring myself…not abandoning myself meant to cut all communication till I felt better…

    This is not selfish…this is the most loving thing to do…with someone…unless he/she is u kid…but even then, there are limits…

    Also, I feel extremely curious, if you read/listened to any of Rori’s programs…and if you would consider a coaching session with Rori/Tinque/Daria…It is sure much worth giving up a Versace purse/year (which by the way, i love fashion myself)…:)

    Warm hugs,



  155.  #155Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    @119: retailtherapycat says:
    “…this man that Ive fallen for, who has this complete stangle hold on my emotions, who holds me in his fist with no care….
    …arrrrggggghhhhh!…”

    Some heavy artillery and a change of perspective could be called for here. This post Rori put up might be helpful.

    https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love-life/does-he-love-you-unconditionally-evan-marc-katz/
    Love, Rori
    Friday, 19 March 2010 @ 11:56am

    😀



  156.  #156Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    @130: Femininewoman says:
    “.. I have an email from Mind Movies that have some pictures that come very close to my perfect life. I watch it often…”

    Cool. 8) Do you have the Mind Movies software? If not, the short Animoto vids are free to make and the longer ones aren’t too expensive if you don’t need a commercial license. About $5 month or $39 for whole year, something like that… for making unlimited videos automatically. Fun!

    Check it out. Your children will probably like it.

    http://animoto.com/

    xoxo
    SLV



  157.  #157Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    Mmmmm, SLV. Thanks for the link! I feel really great reading that post. I was actually having the same thought about my sweetie today. Appreciating how he loves me unconditionally.

    I was feeling insecure earlier today. I had an appt to get my hair cut and by the time I left, I felt so insecure. I liked my cut but I felt frumpy and less than for some reason being there.

    And I came home and he was so sweet and uplifting and complimentary and I felt sooooo much better.

    I feel so relieved that I chose the man who loves me unconditionally instead of the one who excites my chemistry.

    Still want to work on my own confidence so that the salon visits don’t get me down.



  158.  #158Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    DE: I’m feeling excited about the idea of partying with you on your birthday. Are you in PDX?



  159.  #159Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    FW: Wanting to tell you that you have helped me out a lot too. I feel admiration for your vibe here. I love how straightforward and direct you are. I love how you share your ideas and perspective and knowledge from lots of different coaches.

    Something you said earlier today inspired me to write about masculine energy. My phone is about to run out of juice. Will write more in a bit.



  160.  #160Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    @157: Laughing Goddess says:

    You’re welcome. I particularly like that qualifications break down into
    1) how he treats you
    2) everything else…. 😆

    Yep, I think those are my guidelines for this year and next.

    “…Still want to work on my own confidence so that the salon visits don’t get me down….”

    What about the salon visits?????

    😀



  161.  #161Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    Daria: I am also really appreciating you today. I feel some real commonality with you. I’ve really appreciating watching your evolution over the years here. I feel confident that you will make an excellent coach. Another thing I really appreciate is that in my personal interactions with you, I have seen that you really walk your talk. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the intenstiy of your emotion yet I think I get where you are coming from and I appreciate who you are and your willingness to speak your truth.



  162.  #162FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    #157/LG Whenever I to to get my hair cut/trimmed–I always feel like I look frumpy, as I sit there looking in the mirror 🙁 Just so you know you’re not alone.

    Also–is it just me? Or is there something about Wal-Mart bathrooms that make us look just hideous?? I never notice this at Kohl’s Department Store or Target, etc. But when I use the restroom at WM, I think, while I’m washing my hands and looking in the mirror, that I need to get out there and buy every beauty product they make!! My daughter and I laugh about it. I don’t know if it’s the lighting or what…

    At least I can laugh about it…



  163.  #163Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    SLV: I feel uncomfortable in the salon world. I don’t really use all the expensive products or wear make-up but I do appreciate a good haircut. And it seems like lately when I go into salons, I end up leaving feeling bad.

    The stylists can seem to understand that I like my grey streaks and I don’t want to cake my hair with products.

    And normally I feel confident and happy with my looks but not when I go to the salon, I usually end up leaving feeling frumpy and less than.

    And I know it is my stuff, my own insecurities. I just feel like a fish out of water in that world. 🙁

    I love me anyway and I like it better when I see myself as beautiful.



  164.  #164Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    The stylists **can’t** seem to understand



  165.  #165Emerson on June 16, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    162 Flowerchild said
    Also–is it just me? Or is there something about Wal-Mart bathrooms that make us look just hideous??”

    OMG…laughing so hard at this! It’s so true! Just for the record, I look pretty bad in the Target bathroom mirrors too! haha thanks for sharing!!



  166.  #166Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Flowerchild: I have noticed that I look really different in some mirrors. It’s so weird how when I am in my own space or among friends, I usually feel confident about my looks but then when I go to certain stores, or the salons, or am around certain people, I don’t.

    I’d like to feel more confidence and unconditional love for myself.



  167.  #167Jeannette on June 16, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Has anyone had someone say they’d call you back and didn’t? Steve said he was going to call me back tonight when his sister walked in and didn’t. I told him I was going to sleep at 9.



  168.  #168FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    #166/LG This is EXACTLY how I feel. And, yes. There are times when I look in the mirror and like what I see and feel good about it. And then other times I just want to crawl under a rock because I feel so ugly and lumpy and just yuk…

    THANK you for sharing this. It helps me to not feel so hopeless about changing these things to know that it’s not just me who feels this way. I sincerely thank you.<3



  169.  #169Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    @163: Laughing Goddess says:
    “…The stylists can seem to understand that I like my grey streaks and I don’t want to cake my hair with products….”

    I know that part. I avoid beauty salons. Maybe I’ll return this year… It’s like looking for a good doctor. If you want to keep trying you might find just the right stylist. I hear women that do find them, would rather give up their boyfriends than their favorite stylists…. don’t even mention giving up the colorists… LOL 😆

    😀



  170.  #170Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    113:

    Oh yes, I have the book and have been clearing space and making room AND am moving into a new apartment next weekend.

    I am on the lookout for SLV’s soulmate rings as well. I have bought ribbon to hang them from my curtain rod in my bedroom with.

    I used to keep the “extra” space in my bed filled with books and journals and such. I have quit that over the last couple of months and keep that space clear. One time, I tried to talk to MY sweetie and he denied me. He told me “we” weren’t quite ready yet but did say he was coming.

    I believed him. I also took it to mean that I had some more work to do.

    As AH says, you will never get “it” done.

    I am closer.



  171.  #171Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    @167: Jeannette says:
    “…Has anyone had someone say they’d call you back and didn’t?…”

    Yes. Sometimes I don’t call back either; I get busy, slips my mind or I fall asleep. We catch up with each other sooner or later… LOL 😆 Don’t worry about it unless you think Steve has taken ill.

    How’s the bike? Still taking it out? I think about you whizzing along when I see the teenage boys on their bikes in the park. And I saw a much older guy today on bike, musta have been 70ish maybe…
    Go, Jeannette

    😀



  172.  #172Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    FW: you mentioned something about masculine energy recently and it got me thinking.

    From what I have seen, Rori is all about us using our masculine energy. She totally encourages us to use channel it towards expressing our purpose in the world.

    It’s my understanding that the key is awareness of when we are in masculine or feminine.

    And because we are so comfortable being in our masculine, it helps to practice being in our feminine which is why circular dating is so helpful even if it’s just in the form of being feminine in our interactions with people we come across.

    The main thing is, masculine energy isn’t bad…but it’s probably not going to get us the relationship we ultimately want.



  173.  #173FlowerChild77 on June 16, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    Jeannette, yes I know that feeling. I’m thinking that Steve is probably very tired all the time and that it doesn’t take much to wipe him out energy wise.

    I’m sure you’re sick of hearing ‘reasons’ why Steve does or doesn’t do things that hurt you, but I really think that to have ‘no expectations’ right now would be the safest place for you to be coming from.

    If you can think of yourself as giving back to the Universe–just giving back–not expecting anything in return, I think your vibe would change and you may be able to bypass feeling anger and resentment…two things that will hurt you…and only you. <3

    I know it's hard, but I just think he is not able to deal with much, as sick as he is. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you–it just means that his body is failing him and he's probably doing the best he can until he gets a new liver.



  174.  #174Jeannette on June 16, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    Senior Lady Vibe, well I’m not 70ish but still no spring chicken!!! Yes I enjoy taking the bike out. I even stand up on it and let it coast like I did when I was a kid! Thanks for getting back with me kiddo!



  175.  #175Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    @170: Lilybelle says:
    “…I used to keep the “extra” space in my bed filled with books and journals and such. I have quit that over the last couple of months and keep that space clear. One time, I tried to talk to MY sweetie and he denied me. He told me “we” weren’t quite ready yet but did say he was coming….”

    I still have my bed desk, I’m looking at it right now, a little stack of DVDs and a couple legal pads. Sweetie just accepts me as I am… I feel kind of guilty sometimes… I can almost hear him sigh but he cozies up anyway… 😆

    Are you searching different supermarkets for the rings? I think you will like collecting them once you find a place or two… The ribbon idea sounds interesting…

    😀



  176.  #176Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    154:

    DE~

    I felt this, right to my heart:

    “When I first allowed myself to just be without caring what “he” or “she” might think of me…I cried a lot…sometimes even out of the blue…but u know what??? I felt better and stronger each time…

    Crying does not mean we are weak…to the contrary…”

    Owwwwie…. My heart aches.



  177.  #177Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    @174: Jeannette says:
    “…Senior Lady Vibe, well I’m not 70ish but still no spring chicken!!! …”

    Compared to the guy I saw today, you are a newly hatched chick! 😆

    xoxo
    SLV



  178.  #178Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    Hi everyone,

    Mel… thinking of you, hope you are holding up ok.

    I’ve been thinking a lot about me feelings, and I have been resistent to talk in feeling messages a lot, because I’m not just a feeling person, but a thinking person… and I don’t want to just know how someone else is feeling, I want to know what they are thinking. I also am pretty easy to read, wear my heart of my sleeve type person, so my feelings are often evident by my body language. Is it really necessary to say I feel happy when it’s obvious? I don’t have a poker face… I am easy to read. So, big question here…. do I really need to talk about me feelings so much. Do I have to say, I feel tired… can’t I just say, I’m tired?

    I think I’m an emotional person, but in a typical day… I’m pretty even keeled. I often feel the same emotions, happy, proud, concerned, frustrated, disappointed, excited, etc… but I rarely feel extreme emotions like rage, depression, thrilled, etc. But the more I think about the WHY’s in my life, why don’t I feel broader emotions…. the more I think they got lost along the way somewhere. I like to feel normal. In my marriage, lots of huge moments, good and bad, my divorce was devestating, more huge and draining emotions…. maybe I’m afraid to feel those emotions again, so I’m holding back? Being just “normal”. Maybe I protect my heart by not feeling. I like to think about the Why’s… I always get an answer, and sometimes, like tonight, something I hadn’t thought of before.

    Any ideas sirens? Anyone else notice this about themselves?



  179.  #179DE on June 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    LG #158:

    Wow, really? I feel happy if would be able to come up to PDX 🙂 Let me know 🙂

    I read about your insecurity around beauticians…/or unfamiliar faces…

    Gosh, I feel vain next to u 🙁 I wouldn’t go out without makeup…and my white hairs…make me feel very contemplative…to say the least 🙁

    If I am home, yes, I don’t mind hanging out in my pjs, hair down, and no makeup…but when I walk out…yep, I beautify myself…and I admit it does help me face the unfamiliar spaces…and people…

    I am the kinda of “friend” that has “inspired” all of my friends to do the same…i get bored with one look (including hair, makeup, designs)…hmm…wow…i sound “pretentious”…hmm 🙁 it feels bad saying it…

    warm hugs,



  180.  #180Lilybelle on June 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    It has been quite an evening.

    *sigh*

    Good night, Beautiful Sirens.



  181.  #181Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    FW: I was responding to this post

    29: Femininewoman says:

    ps I know we are practicing being in feminine energy but still our boy are a part of us.

    Thursday, 16 June 2011 @ 9:57am

    and ps, for what it’s worth, I get a really feminine vibe from you, especially when you are speaking of your interactions with men



  182.  #182DE on June 16, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    Lilybelle:

    Oh, I feel u 🙁

    Big warm hugs,



  183.  #183Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    @179: DE says:
    “…i get bored with one look (including hair, makeup, designs)…hmm…wow…i sound “pretentious”…hmm it feels bad saying it…”

    It sounds fun to me. Are you in a particular style mode at the moment?

    xoxo
    SLV



  184.  #184Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    I made a photo/quote board with poster board, magazines, markers, stickers… whatever I had, and it’s on my frig. I LOVE IT! It says Time to Thrive in huge letters, surrounded with pics of my favorite things and what I want for myself. I made it months ago though… and thinking about it now… I am kinda stuck. I did get a raise at work, which I really wanted. I made a new amazing friend… and the hot guy’s back in my pic… does look a lot like Mike2.. but a lot of what I wanted and put on there are way down the road big dreams. Maybe I need to add more small goals to keep me motivated. It’s going to be a long time until I have the kind of job to earn the money to have that big victorian home with the wraparound porch and rose garden. Stargazing and photography are on there…. I can do those now. In fact, I have been taking tons of pictures of my girls. I need to do some scrapbooking… love that. We have this amazing telescope, and there is a stargazing field close by. In the summer they have these star parties, people take their telescopes and they have huge ones there, the workers show you amazing constellations, and the amatures are all set to something different and will answer questions, help you set up, etc. I want to do that soon. It feels good in my soul when I stargaze. I feel satisfied and peaceful.. I love those feelings.



  185.  #185Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    Goodnight Lillybelle! Sweet dreams….



  186.  #186Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    SLV, you and sweetie totally inspired me. Everytime I look at my passenger seat full of crap, I feel guilty and clean it up for my sweetie when he shows up. 🙂 My bed is empty, and I just bought new bedding…. but I rarely actually make the bed. I should do that. I haven’t let Mike2 sleepover yet. I have candles in my room, it’s clean and smells pretty… but I don’t expect anyone to see it most of the time, so I rarely make the bed. Hmmm… new habit to form.



  187.  #187Senior Lady Vibe on June 16, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    @184: Turquoise3 says:
    “…We have this amazing telescope, and there is a stargazing field close by. In the summer they have these star parties, people take their telescopes and they have huge ones there, …”

    Ah, something new for me to explore… but for now I’m only going to see stars in my dreams. Almost midnight. I’ll say good night.

    xoxo
    SLV



  188.  #188DE on June 16, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    SLV

    Lol…At the moment, it’s what i call the night style…pjs and robe…lol

    I am not trendy by any means SLV…My style is really “my” style…:) I appreciate fashion to the extent it speaks to me, my heart that is 🙂

    Warm hugs,



  189.  #189Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    DE:

    Oooh, I feel sad to hear you wonder if you sound pretentious. I love looking beautiful too. My passion is more clothes though. I’ve always struggled with the hair and make-up thing. Never could really make it work for me. It seems like less is more for me in that arena.

    I love it that you get all dolled up.

    I know I do feel much more confident meeting unfamiliar people when I am feeling well put together.

    This beautician thing, I know it’s a reflection of my own judgments about myself and there is some big healing there for me in regard to my confidence and self-esteem.



  190.  #190Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Turquoise: “Maybe I need to add more small goals to keep me motivated”

    I feel good about that idea. I’m going to do that too.

    Your description of star-gazing gave me tingles.



  191.  #191Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Daria: when I said I think you will make a great coach, what I should have said is I think you already are and will continue getting better and better.

    I feel a lot of admiration for how you are stepping into the role if being a coach. It seems like you are really starting to own it and I feel inspired seeing that.



  192.  #192Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    I feel worried that I have dropped the ball on some conversations here and I feel too lazy to go back and find the posts. If I had my computer I could just do a search for them but I’m on my phone right now and I would have to scroll through and well, that’s just not going to happen. Hurts my eyeballs.

    Rusty, I know you wrote a few posts to me a while back. I’m not ignoring you, just not sure where they are.



  193.  #193Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    Thanks LG 🙂 And a day trip to the beach is in store very soon… I can think about my feelings more when I’m thinking about the environment, and how I actually do feel in those places.

    I love the beach… and it’s just Lake Erie, but I feel like I’m at the ocean. Sand between my toes, a wild wind whipping my hair around, waves crashing, sunshine blinding me and warming my skin… remembering all the summer vacations there as a child… I FEEL so much when I’m there. I love how I feel there. The next two weekends are booked, and then I’m taking off for a few days. I just planned that right now, but I need to be in a place where I feel so much and then think about what I really do want, and what needs to happen in my life. I don’t want to feel stuck, or like I’m crawling to where I want to be. I want to skip through my beautiful journey………. just wish I knew where it was taking me.



  194.  #194Nita on June 16, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    Kaitlyn hahaha I know right? atleast stripping makes money
    SLV yeah that felt so ackward and I felt obligated to do something I didn’t want to. I used to think I wasn’t receptive enough and I was working alot on Rori’s waterwheel and recieving but I feel like I was misinterpreting. She also talks about rock and also about tapping into our feelings and feeling whats comfortable. Just because I dont want to dance close with mr. armpitts doesnt mean Im not a feminine recieving person, it means that I felt uncomfortable and to take action from that feeling and make some space. I was so caught up in being receptive that I danced close while holding my breathe haha. Ok so Im realizing that you have to do what works for you. there is a balance from feeling, recieving, yet also being a selector…the tango class made me reflect alot on my relationships because i deal with these situations all the time lol



  195.  #195Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Nita, I say good for you for finding a way to make it through! I don’t know what I would have done, but I don’t think I would have danced. I might have let those stinky men ruin for me, and then blame them for why I didn’t tango. Hmm…



  196.  #196Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    Kaitlyn,

    I think you are doing really great. This is all hard, when to be vulerable, when to lean back, when to be open and available.. and I struggle with that too. When do I get to say, hey… you are totally sucking right now. What about me? I feel like to do all this, I’ll be ignoring my feelings or saying my feeling and feeling like a complainer. For example Mike2 left last Thurs. for Virginia. He came over Wed. night, tried to plan a nice date with me and the girls, but then didn’t pay for anything and bought cigars, so I was put off. He called me Thurs. and left a message, which I replied in a text, have a great time. I didn’t hear from him all weekend, which is the first time ever since our first date, that I didn’t hear from him everyday. I was busy, he was busy.. ok I thought, no big deal. Well, Tues. I texted, and asked if he was having a good time. He replied, yes… lots has changed here, it’s really grown. (he lived there) I said great and didn’t hear from him. He came back Wed. night. I was in a crappy mood, got my period, went and had an amazing dinner with my sister, was relieved he didn’t call and ask to come over because I didn’t feel like it. Today, felt kind of bad that he’s been very warm with me, and I’m holding back. So, I texted to ask if he was back. He replied, we texted a lot… but basically he was in a very frustrated mood, had to help his mom with a bunch of stuff, and knowing tonight was my last night without the girls, he said he had something to do tonight, but MAY be able to see me tomorrow. MAY. I hate that.
    I replied that was too bad, last night without the girls, and that they’d be home tomorrow and I really wanted to spend some one on one time with them because I hadn’t seen them since SUnday. He replies… Damn….

    I said I’d have a few hours free after work, and he said, Ok sweetie. I’ll see what I can do.

    I know I leaned forward… but the few times I have texted him a good morning or a smiley, he always responds how much he loves that, so thought I’d reach out a bit.

    What I was really feeling was frustrated. How can you seriously have no time to see me tonight when you’ve been gone for a fricking week? I can’t say that. He was already stressed. Do I bring it up when he does call me? Or do I let it go, and receive what he can give me?



  197.  #197Jeannette on June 16, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    FlowerChild 77, I need a whole new brain not to expect anything and just give to the universe. Another words, I shouldn’t even think of Steve as my fiance and just serve him, is that what you mean? Like a service project or something? I am an emotional creature, I am not going to pretend anything. I will give but I don’t want Steve just thinking that is what I’m here for, know what I mean? He can give back too, just in small ways. Really that is all I want. I hope this doesn’t come across as bitchy. I am a very giving person in my own way.



  198.  #198Emerson on June 16, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Quote:

    “Until you are able to see yourself living the life that you truly want, it will be difficult for you to create it.” Kath*rine Woo*ward Thomas

    DE I really like this quote…



  199.  #199Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    Jeannette… have you ever been close to anyone else who was severly ill? My sister had cancer and she died from it about a year and a half ago, after 8 years of fighting it. She had breast cancer, but it was her liver failure that killed her. There would be days upon days where we’d call… and she wouldn’t answer, or call us back. Sometimes she was just too tired, others she said she just felt so depressed that she didn’t really have anything good to talk about. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I think the vibe is here that lots of times people say they’ll call and don’t… but that Steve has a very good excuse to not call.

    I’ve often thought that if my exhusband were to get injured, paralyzed, etc. in Afghanistan, and couldn’t care for himself that I would want him to move back with us and I would take care of him. Not because of what type of relationship we could have now, but because he was the most important person in my life for a very long time, and if he needed me, I’d still be there for him. And he’s my ex! Unfortunately, you are not in a normal, engaged relationship with a healthy person who is planning ahead. He’s just trying to get from one day to the next. I know you’ve mentioned that he doesn’t seem to want you there, or for you to stay long periods of time. My sister was that way too.. She explained to me that it was just too much for her, to feel like she had to talk and be social when she felt so horrible. In trying to put myself in her place… I thought about when I was my most sick, with an awful stomach flu, cramps, migraines, and in none of those situations did company sound good. I just want to be alone when I don’t feel well.

    Steve probably just doesn’t feel like himself at all, or want you to see him feeling weak. I doubt he feels he has anything to give you right now, he’s facing his brother’s mortality, which I’m sure makes him think about his own… this might be the best it gets for a long time.

    Did you have any luck with those spouse support groups? Might be the best thing you could do. Get some support for the relationship outside of it. I hope things get better!



  200.  #200Emerson on June 16, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    199 Turquoise

    I feel sad reading your post about your sister. I am soo sorry! My heart goes out to you.

    Much love to you. hugs.



  201.  #201Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Turquoise and Kaitlyn:

    “When do I get to say, hey… you are totally sucking right now.”

    I hear what both of you are saying. It sucks when the guy is not stepping up and treating us the way we want to be treated. It sucks! We know we deserve better and they are not doing it. We feel pissed!

    This comes from leaning forward with a man. Guys do things we want them to do when they are inspired. It has to come from within. They have to think it is their idea. No man has ever treated a woman better because of nagging…period.

    Okay, I know I made some strong statements there. I feel a little uncomfortable with that. I don’t like absolutes. I hope y’all get what I am saying though.

    This is why leaning forward doesn’t work. Basically we are creating an imaginary relationship. Kaitlyn, in your case, Adam clearly told you he isn’t ready to be a bf to anyone. I agree with what your bff said. You can’t change how he feels by being nice to him and trying to boost his self-esteem. That is not what builds attraction.

    It’s our feminine mystique that build attraction. It’s our mystery, the challenge of trying to win us, their admiration for our way of interacting with the world.

    Turquoise, why are you leaning forward with this guy? I feel so angry hearing his responses. IMHO, this guy doesn’t see you as a challenge. He is taking you for granted. Make him work for it.

    These guys need a challenge. They need to win. It’s hard-wired into their brain. They don’t value something if they don’t have to work for it.

    You two deserve way better treatment. I say, quit making it so easy for them.



  202.  #202Emerson on June 16, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Daria and Sirens, yay me! I practiced feeling messages with the guy I met online, this time I told him “I don’t want to be on the phone too long,” and “I feel good about meeting you” and he immediately said yes let’s meet up sometime soon! What’s your schedule like? He was kind of akward and chatty but I just listened, and he offered to come meet me here in my town, we live about an hour away from each other.

    I’m not sure about him yet overall, of course, but I will give it a chance! Maybe meeting him this weekend.

    Thanks for your coaching Daria and the other sirens for support…I feel happy that I was able to express myself!
    I’m off to make tea and toast, then to bed. nite nite!



  203.  #203Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    The balance is to be a challenge while still remaining warm and open.

    Warm and open does not equal easy.

    And it’s hard to stay warm and open when we are also feeling needy towards them. We need them to act different so we can feel better.

    And We are also placing them on a pedastal thinking they are the only one who has te key to soothing our emotions so that we feel better.

    Guys can sense when we are in that space and they go runnin because ultimately they know they can’t fill those shoes.

    Men want a woman who knows how to soothe her own emotions.

    And that is great for us because then it means we are not dependant on them. They are more like the icing on the cake rather than the cake itself.



  204.  #204Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    The cake is us, our life, our relationship with the world.

    I truly believe that until we make it about us, until we become somewhat self-centered, we will not have the relationship we want.

    When we are feeling really into our lives, it’s feels very easy to stay warm and open. It comes naturally because we are happy and feeling good.

    That why focusing on our vibe is so crucial. When we are doing what we love and feeling proud of ourselves, we are sooo attractive.

    Not to say we have to be rockstars all the time. Vulnerablity is important too.

    But a guy feeling like he is the main source of our happiness…not good.

    It’s a balance. I get your concerns Kaitlyn. I really do.
    What do you think/feel about what I have said.



  205.  #205Jeannette on June 16, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    Turquoise 3, thanks for your powerful words. I want to come from a more loving place. I was just laying on my bed thinking of all the bitterness my mother knew and how unkind my step father would be to her and to us. Bitterness is a serious thing. I want to be healed from all the bitterness from my past. I want to be a woman who rises above past hurts and just be thankful for all the good things and people in my life. I know Steve was brought back to me for a reason. This is an opportunity for me and that is where I want my heart to be. Believe me I don’t vent to him like I do to all of you. However, I want to come from a much more joyful place no matter where I am. Thank you for sharing and I am very sorry about your sister’s passing. That must have been hard for you…It sounds like you learned a lot from your experience that you are able to share.



  206.  #206Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    And circular dating helps us not to be needy because we have other people to fulfill our social needs.



  207.  #207Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    Oh Turquoise, I feel so touched by your post to Jeanette and also in agreement with everything you said.

    Jeanette, I feel for you in this situation. Hopefully he will be able to step up in the way you want after the liver transplant. It sounds like you are feeling trusting that you want to stay with him right now?



  208.  #208Laughing Goddess on June 16, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    Emerson, nice!!!

    I’m off for a snack and then bed too. Goodnight all!



  209.  #209Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    LG, I get it… totally agree… but where I struggle is with the being vulnerable and open, yet not getting taken for granted. I feel like we aren’t supposed to complain. Basically I heat that we can say this feels bad, and then wait for them to ask why, and get in the conversation. Part of the problem is I communicate a lot by text message. I guess when it’s something I don’t like, I should say I’ll talk to you later about this. Crap… crap crap.

    I got asked out by a guy last night who went to my high school and will be in town for 3 weeks in July, he lives in Florida. I said sure, and we haven’t even chatted. I don’t even remember him, he’s like 6 years older. I also heard from an interesting guy on POF, he told me to write back if I’m interested in a date. I didn’t write back yet, wasn’t sure what I wanted to say… his profile says he has a boat, loves starry nights on it. That sounds nice, but I’m getting men who jump right to asking me out and I don’t know much about them. I’ll reply tomorrow.



  210.  #210Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    Emerson and Jeanette, thank you. Was awful. She was one of my closest friends, not just my sister. Maybe that is part of why I don’t really feel anything too big… I’ve had tremendous grief. I even lost a brother to suicide when I was a child. I grew up in a family where emotions were held in. My mother is a very strong woman.



  211.  #211Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    Thank you LG. 🙂

    I really like your cake analogy…. I want to be the cake AND the frosting… he can be the sprinkles 🙂 lol.



  212.  #212Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    And this weekend I am full of plans! My girls get back from camp tomorrow… they’ve been gone all week. I can’t wait to hear all about their adventures and see their pictures. We’ll spend the evening talking, eating and unpacking. Saturday morning they have a playoff softball game, and then we have the late morning and early afternoon to ourselves. My youngest was invited to go see Taylor Swift Sat. night with a friend for her birthday, so I decided to get my oldest and I tickets too. She loves TS, and her birthday is in August, so it’s an early present. We all have floor seats! AND… we are taking their boat down. How cool will that be? A boat ride down the Allegheny to go see Taylor Swift? I love making memories with the girls like that. So exciting!!!

    Sunday we have a father’s day picnic at 4 at my sisters. So, we can sleep in, make some food and just relax.

    I’ll be CD’ing my girls, friends and family all weekend and I LOVE it.

    Mike2 who???? 🙂 We’ll see if he steps up, but i’m leaning WAY back from now on. Thanks LG for telling me what I already knew. So easy to slip back into that same old place.



  213.  #213Turquoise3 on June 16, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    Tonight I went out for wings with Mike1 (friend) and we talk a lot about our dating stories, compare notes… the women he dates DO NOT KNOW RORI!!!! OMG, they blow up his phone, tell him they love him after 2 dates, tell him to take down his profile, want to be together constantly… lol. So good to see how far I have come!

    He did tell me though, he really likes when a woman chases him a little… and helps with domestic stuff. Making a bed while he makes coffee, helping with dishes when he cooks, nothing outrageous… but he likes that stuff. He is 36 and still single though, so maybe that says something.



  214.  #214kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    LG,

    “This is why leaning forward doesn’t work. Basically we are creating an imaginary relationship. Kaitlyn, in your case, Adam clearly told you he isn’t ready to be a bf to anyone. I agree with what your bff said. You can’t change how he feels by being nice to him and trying to boost his self-esteem. That is not what builds attraction.

    It’s our feminine mystique that build attraction. It’s our mystery, the challenge of trying to win us, their admiration for our way of interacting with the world.”

    But Adam begged and pleaded with me that he needed me to listen so he could vent. And that’s what I did. I just listened and didn’t give advice. I also did it because it was the most open he had been with me in a long time and told me he can’t be this open with people and that he trusts me.

    What am I supposed to do? be heartless and say ‘You’re strong. you’ll get through this. K thanx bye.” and hang up?



  215.  #215kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:45 pm

    PLus, if I didn’t listen and boost his self-esteem when he asked, he’d lump me in with all those other exes he complains about who don’t show their support and are selfish.

    and at least i didn’t offer to do other things like offer him to stay at my place when he was going to come to la. or offer to pay his health insurance he can’t afford.

    plus, his mom was super emotionally abusive. i don’t want to be in that’women are b1tches’ category. i’ve already proved my subpar girlfriendness by running off to a foreign country on a hook3r job.



  216.  #216Sammie on June 16, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    Kaitlyn,

    Not sure if LG went to bed…

    Me thinks that what was meant (LG will clarify) was the building up of the self-esteem things that were said rather than the listening.

    And, I so understand as I have a guy who constantly wants his self-esteem raised. He wants me to give him lots of positive feedback. And, sometimes it feels like too much!

    xoxoxo to you Kaitlyn!!!



  217.  #217Sammie on June 16, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    I want to be adored. I want my feelings to be the most important. I need to make my feelings the most important!



  218.  #218kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    And days ago when he asked for an email list of good qualities to make him feel better, I wrote him this. (it’s something we asked of each other when we were dating)

    All I got was a thank you and a story about how girls always thought he was ugly. I just wrote back ‘you’re gorgeous. i’m an artist…i know what i’m talking about. and everyone knows i have great taste. xo’

    *you are thoughtful and considerate.
    *you hold your friends dear.
    *you learned guitar at 9 yrs old.
    *you’re not in a band; you are the band.
    *no one writes like you.
    *you always overcome the most difficult sh1t.
    *You have flawless bone structure; I love your face.
    *Your c^m tastes amazing.
    *You can do the most deviant things and still be all man.
    *you make me feel warm and protected.



  219.  #219Sammie on June 16, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    Some people are more in need of feeling better about themselves than having the ability to be in a true love relationship unless they grow into a better place. That’s what I think I have come across. I want a guy who feels good about himself and me!



  220.  #220Lucy on June 16, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    87 Flowerchild. Wow! Brava! Brilliant use of Rori’s tools/FM’s to express yourself! That felt really good to read bc you were vulnerable and authentic without blaming or judging. That kind of expression will build intimacy w the right man… it came across so gentle. You’ve got this. <3



  221.  #221kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 11:14 pm

    What do I do now?

    And I still havent answered his text saying ‘great pic, kait…thanks.’



  222.  #222kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    I thought I was doing a good job of John Gray’s advice where he says men want appreciation, men want a good listener when they wanna vent.



  223.  #223Ella on June 16, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Turquoise 3 re 196

    I would not let it go. I would tell him in FMs and then lean way way back again.

    Drop the relationship ball.

    xoxox



  224.  #224Kayla on June 16, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Heyy everyone (: soo there is this guy I will call him “boo man” haha cuz he always calls me boo. . He is sweet.. he sweettalks a lot. . . But there’s a problem, he gets mad at me a lot. If I say no to something and tell him how I feel about it, or if he asks me a question and I tell him the truth, not giving him the answer he wants, he will say something like… “Ohh you’re a mood killer.” And he will get all angry, I’ve told him that it makes me feel sad that I make him upset, and that I just want to be able to talk to him without making him mad or frustrated, and sometimes he tells me what he’s feeling and other times he gets defensive.. And when he does tell me what he’s feeling, it’s not long before he gets mad about something again.. Sometimes this makes me really upset and it makes me feel like he is just being immature and it kinda makes me not want to talk to him at times. . . I do like him, but he just does things that make me not want to respond to him at times… And another thing I have realized, is that I don’t really know how he feels about me.. And I definately want to know. I know this post is kinda long, sorry about that there was just a lot to tell but if you could give me any advice on what to do and what to say to him, that would be great.
    Thanks everyone (:



  225.  #225Lucy on June 16, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    FW, I feel a strong desire to tell you that I feel very safe with you and appreciate you. <3



  226.  #226Lucy on June 16, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    I feel happy reading the comments about vision boards/treasure maps. I made mine last week and I Love it!!! I felt so good making it and the result is so beautiful and joyful. It is hanging on my bedroom wall. Our library has lots of old magazines patrons can take/cut from, so I had tons of things to choose from! I allowed intuition to guide me. Putting it on my bedroom wall changed the whole vibe of my room. Exciting!



  227.  #227Kayla on June 16, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    To FW: I agree with Lucy, I feel that your advice always makes me feel more confident(:



  228.  #228kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    TINQUE,

    I feel worried that I have decreased his attraction by being a good listener and boosting his self-esteem when he asked. Also, I kinda told him days back that I worried being so supportive and kind would put me in the friend zone and kill his attraction.

    He said:

    ‘troublesome that you think of my friendship as a demotion. What I need right now is a friend. And I don’t mean my guy buddies. I mean you. This feels like you wouldn’t be here listening unless it’s in hopes to reel me in as a boyfriend. And right now I’m not fit to be anybody’s boyfriend.’

    Like a dummy, I called him on the phone crying after that email, saying ‘This feels bad. I feel confused. You want me in nyc one minute then the next you don’t want to be my boyfriend.’

    He said we both need time and patience.

    Then the next day, he wants to talk dirty. So, what do I do? Engage in dirty talk. I’m such a horrible Siren Student…ugh.

    Then day after that, he calls and wants more reassurrance in the form of our good ol’ Great Things About You emails.

    Do I need to lean back now because I’ve overfunctioned so much and probably embarrassed myself?

    If so, how do I lean back? Is it ok if I just respond to his thank you text with a ‘You’re welcome’ and just leave him alone? Or will it look like I’m game playing?



  229.  #229kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    …and as you can see from above posts, i emailed him the list of things to reassure him, like he asked.

    i really feel like i ruined things for good. he prolly sees me as an ultimatum giver. and a crumb taker.



  230.  #230kaitlyn on June 16, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    FW,

    I like you, too.

    Kayla,

    not longer than my posts. lolz



  231.  #231Lucy on June 16, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    p.s. my treasure map is specifically a “soulmate” one… lovely, romantic, sexy, fun….



  232.  #232kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 12:10 am

    speaking of forest through the trees, i’m shaving my legs later.



  233.  #233Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 12:13 am

    Kaitlyn:

    It sounds to me like what you are doing is mostly working. The listening sounds good. And the list of his qualities that you appreciate, awesome. And I feel relieved that you didn’t offer for him to stay with you or to pay his insurance.

    I also feel good about that you are waiting to answer until you feel sure of what you want to say.

    I really don’t think you’ve made any big mistakes with him.

    Yet you are feeling frustrated and vulnerable to him abandoning you. So what can we do with that? Because that’s what is really important.

    From what I gather, it sounds like you feel pissed because you are making efforts to lift him up and you are not getting that back from him. He’s not answering in a timely manner and not showing expressions of love like xo’s and such.

    Is it possible that you are over-compensating because you feel guilt about the Paris thing?

    How would it feel to say something like this?

    Adam, I feel soooo happy to be reconnecting with you. It means so much to me. I hear that you don’t think you are ready to be a bf. I hear that and I trust that you know what you need.

    The thing is, I feel attracted to you and it feels hard to look at you as only a friend. And I am feeling challenged in this situation.

    What do you think the solution is? I want to feel happy connecting with you yet I notice myself feeling tense and upset that things aren’t happening the way I want them to. I see that this is a pattern of mine and it doesn’t feel good to go down that path.

    *******

    Would you feel comfortable saying something like that?
    Does that feel right for you?



  234.  #234Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 12:20 am

    Kaitlyn, how do you actually feel reading his last text? (If it were me, I’m guessing I’d feel a lil sad – wanting more – and a lil happy just to hear from him. Rori says we are to Feel all our feelings – so, I’d allow myself to fully feel the sadness – yet choose what to express, and I would choose to express the happy feeling. I would probably just send a :). That is taking responsibility for our own feelings, not making the man responsibile.)



  235.  #235Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 12:23 am

    I wrote that before I saw your last post. I wouldn’t say anything or at most, you’re welcome.

    It’s not game playing, its just not overfunctioning. It’s letting him lead. You aren’t taking on the responsibility of keeping the conversation rolling.

    Listening and supporting is fine but worrying about his self-esteem is more in the direction of getting in his business. And it makes men feel mothered.

    Also it sets up the dynamic of you being the emotional nurturer which then leaves you feeling like your needs aren’t getting met.

    I feel weird writing because you were writing to Tinque and I feel uncertain if you even value my perspective on this.

    Mostly I feel really good about what you are doing and I see room for little tweaks. I’m rooting for you.



  236.  #236kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 12:24 am

    Thanks, babe. I value everyone’s perscpective even when I ask for a Siren in specific. Hope that helps. xo



  237.  #237kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 12:28 am

    Sending a smiley sounds lovely to me. But if I send nothing (as you then suggest), won’t that give the message that him leaning fwd is unappreciated? Rori says be open and warm to a man when they lean fwd, right?

    And what about me asking him later ‘hey there. my life rocks, but i’m not having the greatest day today. can i get a ‘great things about me’ list? thatd feel so good to read.’



  238.  #238Daria on June 17, 2011 at 12:37 am

    LG – thank you for your comments to me. wow. i feel honored

    i love you 🙂

    i admire the way you walk your talk also, in the life you are creating for yourself



  239.  #239Daria on June 17, 2011 at 12:41 am

    Yay Emerson!



  240.  #240Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 12:43 am

    “‘troublesome that you think of my friendship as a demotion. What I need right now is a friend. And I don’t mean my guy buddies. I mean you. This feels like you wouldn’t be here listening unless it’s in hopes to reel me in as a boyfriend. And right now I’m not fit to be anybody’s boyfriend.’”

    The message that I get from this is that he thinks that once he becomes your boyfriend, there will be expectations on him that he’s not sure he is in a place to fulfill. He knows certain things are important to you, like christmas, and he doesn’t know if he can live up to that.

    Yet he really likes you and values your friendship and who you are.

    And he still feels attracted to you, hence the sexy talk.

    But he doesn’t think he can be the boyfriend you want. And he doesn’t want to deal with the pain and fighting that comes from disappointing you.

    But he likes you and is attracted to you.



  241.  #241Daria on June 17, 2011 at 12:45 am

    i went out with mom

    felt sad, in restaurant

    started feeling like crying and held it back… then remembered Rori saying to go to the bathroom

    went to the bathroom and cried and fell to my knees (in the restaurant bathroom yes)

    then felt the grief in my heart fully for the first time

    it passed gently and quickly

    went back

    it felt fun to watch the movie with mom

    then got home, my dad got us chocolates!

    i felt good, and i opened the box, its my birthday laptop im typing on

    feeling really comfortable and pleased in bed now



  242.  #242Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 12:49 am

    237: kaitlyn says:

    Sending a smiley sounds lovely to me. But if I send nothing (as you then suggest), won’t that give the message that him leaning fwd is unappreciated? Rori says be open and warm to a man when they lean fwd, right?

    And what about me asking him later ‘hey there. my life rocks, but i’m not having the greatest day today. can i get a ‘great things about me’ list? thatd feel so good to read.’

    Friday, 17 June 2011 @ 12:28am

    I like the smiley face. He did lean forward but he didn’t really give you much to work with, ya know. Smiley face feels good to me.

    And ya, the other sounds awesome too. Especially if that’s a thing that you two do for each other.

    It might be a little odd out of the blue but in this case, I love it. I would maybe wait a bit, like you said and just lean back a little for now.



  243.  #243kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 1:01 am

    A very Sireny song inspiring SURRENDER…dedicated to all y’all…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPqV4ipyMsg



  244.  #244Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 1:04 am

    237 Kait. I would definitely respond in some manner. Not sure where you read a suggestion to send nothing….?



  245.  #245Kayla on June 17, 2011 at 1:08 am

    Wait, I’m confused on Kaitlyns post when she says that Rori says to be open and warm to a man when he leans forward. But in a newsletter from Rori it said that overfunctioning and trying to make a man feel better will only push him away.. Does this mean that you should just listen and pay attention but not really give advice to a man? because I think I may have made a mistake talking to “boo man” on the phone today, he told me that he was in a bad mood and so I told him that I was going to get off of the phone because I didn’t want to make him more upset than he already was, and of course he got defensive.. Now I realize that I wasn’t being very warm and open. Ughh soo many mistakes that you can make :/



  246.  #246kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 1:11 am

    Kayla,

    hmmn good question. as for myself, i can say i definitely just listened to adam and did not give advice.



  247.  #247Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 1:17 am

    LG thank you. I am thankful to all you sirens who give me feedback. I know I am not “perfect” and I embrace my humanity and all its parts. Turquoise regarding the “I feel” my thinking is you have nothing to lose in trying it on so go for it. I think it is great that you are musing about it. It is something that I have been using for years just not all the time. I use it more since I found Rori, but when I am comfortable doing so.



  248.  #248Kayla on June 17, 2011 at 1:18 am

    Kaitlyn, I honestly think that is the best route to go, because if he is leaning forward and opening up to you then he is obviously looking for some sort of comfort… But not the type of comfort that his friends and/or mother can give him.. Maybe he is looking for the type of comfort that only a woman he feels a connection with can give him… If any of that even makes sense. Lol



  249.  #249Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 1:22 am

    Kayla, no advice-giving and no taking responsibility for his feelings (“didn’t want to make him more upset”). Think of it as a big picture of Trusting Him – you trust him to solve his problems, you trust him to manage his own feelings, etc. So, mostly just listen. This is part of why I don’t like the phone. In person, he would see the silent empathy of my countenance and the warmth and openness of my body language. I avoid phone as much as possible.



  250.  #250Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 1:23 am

    Kayla it is the vibe, you can say anything to any man. What struck me in your comments was that it was partially focused on him and how you concerned about making him feel. You told him he was upset so he took it personally. He might even have thought that he was affecting you negatively. Remember in life there are contradictions. Just because someone says they like chocolate does mean we give them a truck load of it, it can get too much.

    Regarding Rori’s post about the man, I believe in context it refers to a masculine who wants to be giving and protecting. The key is in knowing if the man is in feminine energy and would appreciate that. Awareness is key here because I have seen her advocate that sometimes we have to change the steps in the relationship dance. She says giving advice is disrespectful to the masculine when you have chosen to be the feminine.



  251.  #251Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 1:25 am

    RE 248 Kayla he will feel it in the silence, especially if you listen at level two. Put all your attention and focus on him and let him feel that you are there with him. Lucy is so spot on.



  252.  #252Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 1:26 am

    248 yes 🙂



  253.  #253Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 1:33 am

    kaitlyn just a thought…… The list is awesome but unfortunately it could create the impression that you are trying too hard or trying to convince him of something. It is one of the things CCarter talks about. I am not suggesting holding back just that you be aware about the energy you put out. It is funny how it works when we are not fully aware of all our intentions. I would encourage you to sometimes pause rather than reacting immediately, it is something I am learning to do. I will see if I can find that email from CCarter who talks about that. The good thing is that it could get him hooked on your positive affirmations so his love tank gets full. The dilemma is when it is full he might not seek connection at that time. He might also wait a bit until it starts running down again before he moves toward you. Don’t know if that make sense but I would encourage you to really pay attention to what you create and try to find that balance that works for you. I believe every relationship is different.



  254.  #254Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 2:01 am

    kaitlyn I have to admit I didn’t read all you had written before writing earlier on now I see this “This feels like you wouldn’t be here listening unless it’s in hopes to reel me in as a boyfriend”. He feels your vibe, he knows what your goal is and in my humble opinion he might need to feel that you are interested in him as a human being. He might need to feel you connecting with his spirit. I would find a way to share my passion for life my dreams for my life my connection with something bigger than me, whatever that is for you. Then ask him how about you. I might be wrong but I sense that is the subliminal message he is sending. Don’t know if this makes sense



  255.  #255Kyla on June 17, 2011 at 2:02 am

    Kaitlyn,

    I usually let R have the last word when we are communicating. I will respond to his stories or questions or compliments but if he sent me a ‘thank you’ I would not respond. I would receive the thank you with a smile and then go back to my own stuff. I don’t feel the need to keep the conversation going. If I felt resentful that I am giving more love than I’m receiving then I would not send a smiley. I would lean back and wait for him to pick up the oars. I notice I feel resentful when I am over-functioning and coming from an insecure ‘expecting a particular outcome’ vibe. I find the visualization of holding the man with tight fists and then releasing him with soft, open hands helps me feel better.



  256.  #256Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 2:05 am

    RE 228 I don’t think it was bad it shows your passion for the relationship and wanting to do it right. As Rori recommends be the cactus sometimes. Let him bring his watering can and fill you up. You seem to be sharing the real you and I believe you are getting awesome practice right now. I also believe it is a process that time and healing with mold.



  257.  #257Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 2:07 am

    RE 255 Kyla I said in my mind brilliant. The coach in the interview this month used his parents as an example and said he teaches that the man should give at least one percent more so the female gives 49% and the male 51%.



  258.  #258Kyla on June 17, 2011 at 2:13 am

    I feel a lot better today about moving and R following later. There is really nothing I can do about it. With visa’s and emigration paers, there’s not a huge amount R can do either, he’s really doing his best already. Yesterday I was letting my toddler though a tantrum. I want things my way and I want to stomp my feet and scream and cry to get what I want 🙂

    So I sat back and took a day off ‘doing’ (outside of work) to take care of me. I took a long bath, tried a new hair style, had a nap while he made dinner, caught up with friends on the phone and spent time by myself on the internet listening to feel good songs and reading articles and the blog. I felt worn out, tired and depressed and needed to give myself some space.

    Today I’m smiling at my toddler stomping and crying. I love my toddler. It is always putting me and my wants and needs first, regardless of situations and other people! I can hug my toddler and say its ok to feel angry, sad and afraid. Everything will be ok. I need to trust that everything is working perfectly.



  259.  #259Kyla on June 17, 2011 at 2:14 am

    I just received the interview cd this morning. I’m looking forward to listening to it later after work 🙂



  260.  #260kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 2:15 am

    FW,

    “He might need to feel you connecting with his spirit. I would find a way to share my passion for life my dreams for my life my connection with something bigger than me, whatever that is for you.”

    I honestly don’t know what that is yet.

    Does that mean I have no business in being open to love until I find my purpose on the planet?



  261.  #261Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 2:26 am

    That is what some coaches suggest. The difference is you are already “in a relationship” and it seems both of you have healing to do. I would encourage you to find something but don’t give up hope in yourself. I believe something to this effect came up before. Maybe connecting with something voluntary where you can put some of your energy into doing something for animals or people less fortunate than yourself.



  262.  #262kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 2:32 am

    that sucks. i still don’t know what i want to do with my life further than shoot naked girls for magazines. meanwhile, i’d like to volunteer for dressforsucess.org but their next interview for that is a long way off.



  263.  #263kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 2:33 am

    meanwhile, i just out-ed myself if anyone’s lurking.



  264.  #264Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 2:35 am

    RE 262 I would start by asking myself. It is a way to focus on you. Remember Mel has shared that her husband has started to question his life. I believe it is a clue that most of us get there eventually. You want to do that now so you can invite him to join you in your fabulous life. Give him something to look forward to.



  265.  #265kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 2:38 am

    So far he thinks my life is great and he loves my work. I’ve mentioned that I’m trying to go beyond porn. But I didn’t tell him I don’t know what that means for me. Trust me, I ask myself everyday what that means. I have no idea. And I haven’t asked him advice on my life because right now he’s flat broke and in between writing gigs and living spaces.



  266.  #266kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 2:41 am

    Nor does he ask much about my life.



  267.  #267Jeannette on June 17, 2011 at 2:46 am

    Sirens, Steve and I are still in need of a miracle. Neither one of us have much income so really this isn’t a relationship I see lasting. He is the poorest man I’ve ever dated financially and I would be carrying him that way the rest of our lives if we were to remain together. A miracle is what is needed….pretty much all the way around. I still feel impressed to help him through this no matter what.



  268.  #268Daria on June 17, 2011 at 3:43 am

    Am feeling a bit sad

    Just talked to a man and told him I had been feeling lonely…

    He said ‘I couldn’t feel lonely if I wanted to’

    ‘I have so many family and cousins and I have a lot of friends too, they keep me busy’

    I feel jealous. This is what my brothers had that I wanted so much. And then I had it for awhile w them but now since I started leaning back w men … And also everyone doesn’t hang out in the same spot as much….

    I ‘lost’ it. It seems so unfair.

    I remember some of my brothers complaining that someones always knocking on their door and I remember thinking I wish I had that problem.

    I feel like I’m extremely attractive and well liked as company because people fawn around me, but when it cones to having a web of friends and people calling me to get together it’s minimal.

    I know I probably have had months where no one has called me.

    Maybe not but still.

    I feel dissapointed and upset like god is playing a big joke on me and setting me up this way.

    🙁

    I guess there’s a way to be extremely grateful for this reminding me of my desire…

    Sometimes I think I don’t even want to be married I just want a network of friends calling me.

    I don’t feel lonely for a relationship with one man, the only time I think about that is when I’m falling in love w someone.

    I feel sad.

    And I feel double mad and discouraged that I ‘worked so hard’ to manifest that and felt so blessed when it came true…

    And then for it to slowly just drift away again to nothing.

    My phone stayed poppin.

    I feel too angry to try to visualize it into being because I don’t want to fight so hard to keep it while it drifts away, even if I Do get it.

    Maybe I’m just not meant to have happiness.

    That sounds like the right belief.

    I’m feeling sad, and I feel compulsively committed to Not let myself hope, again.

    🙁



  269.  #269Daria on June 17, 2011 at 3:45 am

    Hmm this reminds me a bit of the way I’m experiencing the blog…

    Paradise lost

    This is probably a pattern for me. Could be some remnants from feeling like I lost everything when I moved from Romania



  270.  #270Daria on June 17, 2011 at 3:51 am

    At least I’m no longer missing sex

    Am feeling all into this
    Woe is me phase

    I don’t want to feel good about anything.

    I want to feel bummed and sad and left out and powerless to create the life I want because

    It involves other people contacting me and I’m not suppose to control them



  271.  #271Brenda on June 17, 2011 at 4:35 am

    (((Jeannette))),

    I can relate….wish I knew an answer for you.

    Love, Brenda



  272.  #272Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 4:45 am

    RE 267 Jeannette it is one of my beliefs that things usually work out. The Universe conspire on our behalf. It is not always necessary to push to have any particular scenario play out. Yeah, miracles do happen.



  273.  #273Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 4:46 am

    Brenda thought about you earlier and this song started playing in my mind and spirit “You are always on my mind, you are always on my mind”



  274.  #274Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 4:57 am

    RE 233 LG and kaitlyn that reminds me of the post Loneplum sent to Mel. It also reminds me of Gay Hendricks and other coaches suggesting that sometimes things happen and we get stuck in the emotions of the past. Somes until we go back and deal with that in our relationships we cannot move forward. The theme of abandonment has also come up and I am wondering Kaitlyn if there is anywhere in your life that you are abandoning yourself?



  275.  #275may_cathy on June 17, 2011 at 5:03 am

    I like so much this blog,i want to try the free download but i can’t get it cause i dont have any credit cards and atm..i want to post my feelings also here,to share all my experience also as a woman. How could be possible to be a part of here..THANK YOU



  276.  #276Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:04 am

    RE 224 Kayla I think him calling you “boo” is his way of saying he sees you in the future and that you are his “the one”. I have experienced the “boo” calling also and iit kind of felt weird because he wasn’t really moving the relationship forward so I just went into the whatever mode and totally dropped the ball. I take it that in the moment that is how they feel.

    I would encourage you to look at Rori’s post about men getting mad. It also seems to me from what you write that he might have a pattern of blame for some reason. I would explore how I feel around the blaming and try to share to find a way to share that. I don’t like to and don’t want want to feel blamed. I would also pay attention to my communication to see if I am also doing that because it could be reflected back to me.



  277.  #277Mel on June 17, 2011 at 5:04 am

    I hate that he’s deciding. I hate that someone needs to “decide” if they love me. That feels terrible.

    I feel like my actions are under constant scrutiny. Like I can’t do or say anything negative because that will tip the scale, so to speak. I don’t know if this is true, but it’s how I feel.

    But the thing is… I’m sad. All I want to do is cry. I’m barely holding it together right now, so it’s hard to be the “happy” wife. I’m just letting myself cry. He just sits there, uncomfortable. I don’t care… what am I supposed to do? I’m sick of pretending.

    LonePlum… I’m just letting go of that leash though. You would be proud of me. 🙂



  278.  #278Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:06 am

    RE 275 may-cathy there is a lot of information below to the right of your screen. I would encourage you to read through them until you figure out how to buy the book. You are a part of here.



  279.  #279Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:08 am

    RE 277 Mel I might be wrong but I believe he is deciding if he wants to “share” love not if he loves you. I believe he does love you.



  280.  #280Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:11 am

    I have come to appreciate that love have different languages. What is yours Mel, what is his? Do you think you could learn to speak his language or if you could learn a language together?



  281.  #281Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:14 am

    Lucy, LG Kaitlyn thanks.



  282.  #282Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:19 am

    RE 209 Turquoise3 I would use one of them to practice feeling messages on, just to see what you could create with it and to feel my discomfort using them. Or maybe be surprised that they are not so bad after all.



  283.  #283Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:29 am

    Mel I just finished reading again two comments you made on this thread and I sense your anger? Is it finally coming out? Or is it still a little covered by the sadness? I am wondering if it comes out if the feeling can be shared without “being” angry?



  284.  #284Mel on June 17, 2011 at 5:31 am

    FW,

    The past few days I have felt like screaming, breaking things, punching something, punching HIM… but I’ve done none of the above.

    I feel really, really sad. But also really, really angry.



  285.  #285Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 5:40 am

    284:

    Anger is an emotion, imo, and I believe you have every right to be pist off. I can’t understand why it shouldn’t be allowed to be angry…so that you can get to the deeper underlying emotions.

    We are human after all and I think it’s important to feel it all rather than coat it or hide it. It doesn’t have to be directed AT him so that he sees and hears it. I would scream my fool head off.

    One time, I was so angry about something that I went out in my garage, grabbed a golf club, took it outside and beat the hell out of the ground for about five minutes. I can’t tell you how good that felt. I yelled, I screamed, I raged..and when I was done…I cried, sobbed on the ground in the middle of my yard. I was spent and it felt so good.

    Did it solve anything? Not for the person I was angry with but it sure did help me.



  286.  #286Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 5:43 am

    Part of what I am struggling with now, is that I didn’t get angry enough during those years…hence becoming the queen of stuffing. I’m sure feeling it all now.

    I guess that is good even if it is really, really hard.



  287.  #287Mel on June 17, 2011 at 5:46 am

    I feel like going to the dollar store and buying a bunch of glasses and then taking them outside and smashing them. I don’t really feel like cleaning that up though… so maybe that’;s not the best idea.

    Lillybelle, I wish I had a golf club! That sounds like fun! The neighbors would think I’d lost it though. Somehow that makes me laugh! 🙂



  288.  #288Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 5:49 am

    287:

    Mel, go find a bat, a big stick, anything and have at it.



  289.  #289Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:52 am

    Yayy Lilybelle I felt the energy. Mel I remember sharing my anger with someone and our relationship get so close after that. I believe the key is in how one shares that. That might be what he is afraid of right now after all that he has done. But I will not encourage you to focus on his behavior. Focus on that anger maybe try tapping on it. There has to be a way of feeling it and letting it out.



  290.  #290Mel on June 17, 2011 at 5:53 am

    *Imaginary fantasy…*

    LOL…

    Him (texting me from his campsite): “How’s it going?”
    Me: “GREAT!”
    Him: “What are you up to tonight?”
    Me: “Smashing things. :)”



  291.  #291Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:53 am

    Maybe even a boxing gym and go at that puching bag.



  292.  #292Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 5:53 am

    @204: Laughing Goddess says:
    “…The cake is us, our life, our relationship with the world…”

    Well said, LG…and all the rest of your words too.

    😀



  293.  #293Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 5:54 am

    RE 290 How about putting that in feeling messages.



  294.  #294Mel on June 17, 2011 at 6:00 am

    FW,

    Nah. He probably won’t even text me. Too busy looking at porn in his tent.

    Wow…! that was BITTER! Yikes.



  295.  #295Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:01 am

    I meant doing it here so you can get it out Mel.



  296.  #296Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 6:02 am

    @211: Turquoise3 says:
    “…I really like your cake analogy…. I want to be the cake AND the frosting… he can be the sprinkles lol…”

    I think so too… Sprinkles… and those little silver things and maybe he could light my fire with a candle or two… 😆

    😀



  297.  #297Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:03 am

    RE 294 Take your focus off him and put it on you. Write so you can practice, so you can feel your feelings.



  298.  #298Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 6:03 am

    290:

    Him (texting me from his campsite): “How’s it going?”
    Me: “GREAT!”
    Him: “What are you up to tonight?”
    Me: I feel so happy you aren’t here right now. I feel fabulous because I am bashing the hell out of everything in this house. I am feeling so inspired that I taped your picture on the tree and am practicing my bow and arrow skills. I feel TREMENDOUS because I am such a good shot. Thanks for asking.



  299.  #299Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:04 am

    Lilybelle you have me falling off my chair with laughter. This feels hilarious.



  300.  #300Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:04 am

    RE 298 That is so sexy.



  301.  #301Mel on June 17, 2011 at 6:06 am

    OMG! Where can I buy a bow and arrow? LOL!!!



  302.  #302Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:08 am

    RE 301 Mel the point is to check how you feel just reading that. Is it possible he could feel that way too if he experiences something similar. One of my first CDs from CCarter in the Interview with Rorii she suggested she encouraged someone to really share her anger. It was done with her husband in the room and he said he found it so sexy. I have to review that cd



  303.  #303Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 6:12 am

    299 and 301:

    Hee Hee.. I know it sounds ridiculous and I was giggling too but I swear, if I was close to Mel right now, I would be driving over there to pick her up and I would take her somewhere so she could TOTALLY let it out.



  304.  #304Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 6:13 am

    Hell, I want to do it FOR her. I have golf clubs in the car right now, I could go out back and beat the hell out of the ground for her.

    Grab your power, Mel, you BEAUTIFUL Siren.



  305.  #305Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 6:16 am

    @226: Lucy says:
    “…Putting it on my bedroom wall changed the whole vibe of my room. Exciting!…”

    Invigorating and motivating! How big is it and what did you use for the backing?

    xoxo
    SLV



  306.  #306Mel on June 17, 2011 at 6:29 am

    Well, at least you ladies have me smiling again. 🙂

    Lillybelly… how close do you live? LOL



  307.  #307Emerson on June 17, 2011 at 6:29 am

    Good morning everyone, it’s my 40th bday today. So far, I feel ok. LOL…but I do fee a little self conscious about it.

    I woke up this morning feeling VERY closed off to my CDs and not being able to imagine myself with anyone. I wondered to myself, is it because I’m “this age” and “set in my ways” and might as well accept that I’m going to be alone? I don’t want that and I don’t want to be alone!!! I also had a thought that to get past this feeling of being closed off, I need to start with healing. Not sure how I’m going to do that, but it’s my goal.

    Re: the posts about anger, I thought men were afraid of our anger??…help



  308.  #308Mel on June 17, 2011 at 6:31 am

    I have a carton of eggs…

    Geez, I’m going to get my self into some trouble tonight! 🙂



  309.  #309Emerson on June 17, 2011 at 6:31 am

    I feel hateful toward cliches.
    I feel thankful that I love my job.
    I feel thankful for my health.
    I feel hostile toward my younger self for being foolish.
    I feel hopeful about the future.
    I feel discouraged about my abilities to make it happen sometimes.

    Thank you sirens for this forum.



  310.  #310Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 6:34 am

    308:

    I’m in Minnesota.

    Eggs will work. Take ’em outside and pitch them as far as you can. Is there a field you can go to? You can throw them suckers and yell at the same time.
    Then you won’t have to worry about the neighbors. 😉

    Although, I say…screw the neighbors. lol



  311.  #311Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:40 am

    Just in case anyone is interested:-

    http://evolutionezine.com/chakra-healing-the-heart/



  312.  #312Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:42 am

    I see trees of green, red roses too
    I see them bloom, for me and you
    And I think to myself
    What a wonderful world

    I see skies of blue, and clouds of white
    The bright blessed day, dark sacred night
    And I think to myself
    What a wonderful world

    The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
    Are also on the faces, of people going by
    I see friends shaking hands, sayin’, “How do you do?”
    They’re really sayin’, “I love you”

    I hear babies cryin’, I watch them grow
    They’ll learn much more, than I’ll ever know
    And I think to myself
    What a wonderful world

    Yes, I think to myself
    What a wonderful world
    Oh yeah



  313.  #313Mel on June 17, 2011 at 6:43 am

    Boo, that’s a bit far. Google maps says it’s a 22 hour drive…

    We live in this pretentious little condo community. I’m sure my throwing eggs or smashing things would not be looked upon favorably.

    I’m feeling really destructive though. Just want to break something. It would feel really, really good to break something of his. Oops! I don’t know how that bottle of your precious scotch slipped out of my hands! What a shame!!



  314.  #314Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:44 am

    RE 307 Happy birthday Emerson. I believe they are afraid of our anger because we tend to stuff it down and then let it explode rather than expressing it in the moment.



  315.  #315RiverGirl on June 17, 2011 at 6:46 am

    @308

    Like!! 😉



  316.  #316RiverGirl on June 17, 2011 at 6:48 am

    Happy Birthday Emerson!!! Forties are the best! (so far anyways)



  317.  #317Emerson on June 17, 2011 at 6:51 am

    Thank you FW and RiverGirl!!

    Mel, I am picturing you throwing the eggs. Hmm, sounds kinda fun!!! Bad influence, I know….but so tempting.



  318.  #318Mel on June 17, 2011 at 6:56 am

    Happy Birthday Emerson!

    I’ll throw a couple eggs for you as I wish you a happy 40th! 🙂



  319.  #319Kyla on June 17, 2011 at 7:00 am

    Mel,

    Throwing eggs sounds like an idea 🙂

    Ways I release anger

    Admit to myself I’m angry, feel the rage until my blood boils and then –

    Scream

    Play extremely loud, heavy music and sing on the top of my voice

    Throw stones in the water

    Write an angry letter then burn it

    Gather items in the house that remind me of the anger, photos, mementos and rip them up and throw them out

    Go to a batting cage, shooting range, gym or for a run and use the anger to motivate me physically until the anger is gone and I’m exhausted

    Thank the anger for showing me what i don’t want, how i’m not treating myself the way I want to be treated and make a commitment to myself to do something to take care of me in the future.

    Rest and do something soothing.



  320.  #320Kyla on June 17, 2011 at 7:02 am

    Happy birthday Emerson 🙂



  321.  #321marina on June 17, 2011 at 7:04 am

    hello lovely dear Sirens,

    Hope you are all having a great day.!

    Haven’t posted anything here for quite a while, but whenever I return, I learn from all of you 🙂

    I am thinking about buying Rori’s Lovescripts, anybody can give a review yet?

    Thank you for sharing on Abraham Hicks as well, I love this one
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92BLLPm9Uzg&feature=related

    XXX
    marina



  322.  #322marina on June 17, 2011 at 7:05 am


  323.  #323Kyla on June 17, 2011 at 7:10 am

    Emerson,

    I think men are afraid of our anger when it’s directed at them.

    I find R responds well to my anger when I say ‘I feel angry. I don’t want … What to do you think?’ or if I’m not in a place where I can express with blame then I say ‘I feel angry. I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m going to go for a walk/hang up.’ He says he respects my anger and thanks me for sharing what makes me angry because he just wants to make me happy!

    I find feeling messages most helpful for anger. It was the main problem we had, I would be angry and blaming and R would retreat and go silent to give me space I didn’t want.



  324.  #324Kyla on June 17, 2011 at 7:11 am

    **where i can express WITHOUT blame



  325.  #325tinque on June 17, 2011 at 7:13 am

    Turqouise – “I like to feel normal. ” I was going to reply right away to this but hen decided to read a bit more, and you answered my questions around this.

    I knew from what you originally wrote that emotions were not allowed or frowned upon in your family. The tragedies you experienced only reinforced this.

    You are a cauldron of rich emotions. I see it and feel it in your posts. Yes you may think you are a thinking person, we all are, but you are also a feeling woman, a woman who is inundated with emotions, some of which you have not allowed to emerge.

    The purpose of using feeling statements, especially in the beginning and especially for someone like you is to get in touch with these buried emotions. It may seem like a small and silly thing, but it really works.

    I felt awkward and uncomfortable with it at first as do most women here. It really does start to feel more natural though it may take some time.

    Being vulnerable and keeping boundaries is not as contradictory as it sounds. We can talk more about this if you want.

    xxoo



  326.  #326Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 7:16 am

    VFeingold Clark

    Here are three important tips to help you go through the process of having “The Talk” when it is time:

    1. Whatever you do, do not start this conversation when you are upset.

    If you’ve been bottling up your feelings for too long, you may reach a boiling point where out of the blue you attack him with anger and blame. Most men will respond to anger with anger. You will not be able to have a sane conversation about the future at this point, you will only be driving a wedge between you. Wait until you feel calm and centered to broach the subject.

    2. Do not play the victim and blame him for not talking about this earlier.

    You need to take responsibility for your part in letting things go on for so long without speaking up. He’ll appreciate that you are not making him the “bad guy” and be much more open to anything you have to say.

    3. Do not demand that he give you an answer right away if he can’t.

    Most men usually need to take time think and process their thoughts about important matters. Remember, you may have been thinking about this for months or years and this is the first time he’s hearing about it. Give him the space and time to consider what his life would be like without you so he can give you an honest answer.

    There are many more things you need to consider when you’re having “The Talk” and I go into greater detail in my book.

    Having “The Talk” in the correct way can change the course of your relationship and make the difference between getting married or not, so take it seriously.

    This could be one of the most important conversations you have with your man, it’s important to prepare to do it right. I can coach you through the process if that is what you need.



  327.  #327Brenda on June 17, 2011 at 7:18 am

    Feminine Woman,

    RE: #273 – Aw, that’s sweet! Thank you! I just need some universal answers quick, that is for sure! The lady where I am staying, Miho, is already on the edge of turning me out, since my dogs are barking viciously and I am unable to pay the rent I agreed on. She had said no pregnant cat, that that would be too much, because her daughter will want one.

    I placed my pregnant cat for foster care (temporary) yesterday, and they called back, saying she was terrified: ears pinned back, low to the floor, growling and hissing. I picked her back up this morning. Right now I think I am going to have to leave here. This is just too much to impose on these people.

    It’s just where to go?? I have a call in to a Christian ministry in Lancaster county of people who used to be Amish and now they aren’t. They have a farm, and I asked if I could put my tent there and be there with my pets.

    Am I ruining my life by keeping my pets? If I give them all up for adoption, MY life would be easier for sure. But they would probably be killed. At the very least, they would not be treated as well as they are now. No one would love them like I do.

    So I come back to friends…friends stick together when times get ruff. They have been my emotional health when times were tuff. The whole reason I got Keagy (the pregnant cat) was to have a focus outside of Ryan, just after he broke up with me. She helped a lot. So isn’t it my turn to help her? She goes ballistic with anyone else when I’m not in the room. This isn’t the first time.



  328.  #328Emerson on June 17, 2011 at 7:18 am

    Thanks Kyla and Mel!



  329.  #329Brenda on June 17, 2011 at 7:24 am

    Mel and Lillybelle,

    RE: #287 – When I was moving a couple of weeks ago, a dresser and an entertainment center were damaged and not worth fixing. One of the friends helping me move asked with a glimmer in his eye, “Do you have a sledgehammer?” LOL! They had great sport for about 20 min smashing them to bits! Then a few nights later, we burned them at a party (at my friend’s house).

    Venting can be fun!



  330.  #330Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 7:24 am

    From Bob Grant

    Featured Topic: 3 Feelings He Wants You to Share…

    1. He wants you to share when you’re proud of him… If you didn’t know this already, men really like to show off. Just be sure it’s something you really do like because if you praise him, you’ll likely get more of it.

    2. He wants you to share when you’re upset, and let him know what he can do to help… The important thing is to give him a task that he can do to help. If you just want him to listen – tell him. Don’t expect him to “just know” that is what you need. A man often feels like he’s being weak just sitting there while you’re hurting. He wants to fix it. Ask him to listen, and tell him how good that makes you feel.

    3. He wants you to share when you’re excited and happy… If more women only understood how important it is for a man to be able to make you happy, it would change the complexion of many a relationship. Remember, men aren’t nearly as intuitive as your girlfriends are. Men learn by watching your reaction. A good reaction (full of nice happy feelings) means do this more. A bad reaction (when you cry or get upset) means don’t do that again.

    Yes ladies, men really are that simple….



  331.  #331DE on June 17, 2011 at 7:32 am

    Brenda:

    I feel very saddened by your situation…:( I really wish I could help somehow…

    Why would you think that they would not be cared for and they won’t be happy???? The mind set seems very negative to me…While I understand u love them, miss them, I also know u have the power to wish wonderful things for them…Our minds are very powerful Brenda!!! And you a wonderful soul!!!

    I keep reading and saying to myself…”Give yourself a chance Brenda…give your babies a chance too…”

    Btw, I had to make some very difficult decision about one of my pet (nine year pet) last year…very hard …but it was a great decision because I feel at peace ab it!

    Warm hugs,



  332.  #332tinque on June 17, 2011 at 7:33 am

    Happy Birthday Emerson, and by they way, I didn’t find K until well into my forties.

    xxoo



  333.  #333tinque on June 17, 2011 at 7:35 am

    kaitlyn- I think you handled it all brilliantly even though you feel shaky and unsure. Laughing Goddess gave you awesome advice.

    xxoo



  334.  #334DE on June 17, 2011 at 7:37 am

    Kaitlyn #243:

    Thank you for the video song…I really like it 🙂 Very soft and seductive…wow 🙂

    Warm hugs,



  335.  #335DE on June 17, 2011 at 7:41 am

    Happy B-day Emerson!!! Best wishes of love and happiness!!!

    Warm hugs,



  336.  #336Brenda on June 17, 2011 at 7:50 am

    Lillybelle,

    RE: #298 – LOL!



  337.  #337Brenda on June 17, 2011 at 7:54 am

    DE,

    RE: #331 – Well I have solid reason to think they won’t be happy…did you read my post about the cat foster people returning my cat? She was terrified. She wanted to be with me, the only person she knows and trusts.

    As for my dogs, no one else would run them offleash every night late when no one is around. And that is the highlight of their day! No one else would feed them raw meat, their natural diet. No one else would let them cuddle on the bed. They would be confined; eat boring dry dog food; have not near as much loving each day.

    My situation feels impossible…but i know that is the very atmosphere for a miracle…



  338.  #338Brenda on June 17, 2011 at 7:55 am

    Right now, this blog feels like home. It feels so good, so soothing, so comforting, to come to this familiar place and get all your feedback and emotional support! I feel like I’m among family, even tho we are all over the world! I can’t thank you all enough, just for being here. I like how I can just think and feel out loud here! That in itself helps a lot!



  339.  #339Brenda on June 17, 2011 at 7:58 am

    I had four hours of sleep. I don’t know what to do first: sleep some more (I just fell asleep at the computer); call unemployment again; pack up and leave; talk to the people where I am staying if they want me to leave; call for more foster care; jobhunt; clean the shed where my other two kitties are staying. All of this needs to be done simultaneously.

    I know I feel discouraged when I am tired. Maybe I just need to go take a nap. I don’t like to waste the office hours tho. I need sleep. And I’m horny.



  340.  #340Brenda on June 17, 2011 at 7:59 am

    Emerson,

    Happy Birthday to you!!!



  341.  #341DE on June 17, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Brenda:

    Yes, i read it…I feel sad my point is not taken..:( U create their reality…of fear, etc…because u, yourself are not letting go of it…and don’t want to create the miracle within yourself…

    U think God as a separate being and you hope He will intervene for u and your family…and I am telling u…God is in you already…and u can create u own miracle by letting go of anything that is not love…:(

    Warm hugs,



  342.  #342Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 8:14 am

    Brenda I feel happy you feel safe enough here for it to feel like home for you. I pray for you but remember to guard your thoughts and your words so you can create your reality.



  343.  #343Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 8:20 am

    Lillybelle: 298

    hahahahaha!

    That was incredible!!!!

    Wow wow wow

    nice use of feeling messages!



  344.  #344Mel on June 17, 2011 at 8:30 am

    I can feel myself boiling with rage. But this makes me laugh. Why am I finding my anger funny?

    Is it because picturing myself whacking things with a golf club or throwing eggs at a photo of his face seems SO very unlike anything I would do?



  345.  #345Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 8:31 am

    313:

    Ohhh, I feel so horrifed that the bottle of scotch fell out of my hand when I was in the garage taking a big ole swig out of it. I feel so so sad…

    (see if it drops on the floor in the garage, it won’t stink your whole house up. 😉 )



  346.  #346Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 8:34 am

    RE 344 Mel I am sure you have Rori say time and time again, feelings morph. I am imagining sharing your anger in this way with him and both of you have a good belly laugh about it together. Can you imagine how cleansing that would be and how it could help both of you to forget your problems and why you were angry?



  347.  #347Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 8:34 am

    344:

    I am telling you, Mel.. it HAS to come out. Your feeling this is telling you it has to come out.

    Honestly…take a photo outside, tape it to a tree and throw the eggs at it. All the while, FEEL the anger and drop in to it. Be prepared for a good, old fashioned sob fest after.

    And forget about the neighbors. If they ask you, just tell them you are getting your pitching arm in shape. 😉



  348.  #348DE on June 17, 2011 at 8:39 am

    Lilybelle #347:

    I concur with you…that’ right…smash some things Mel 🙂

    This reminds me of “The Diary of a Black Mad Woman”…loved the movie…and the part where she is finally ripping cloths and breaking stuff…I just love it!!! I own the movie btw…because of it …kidding :)…I love it all actually 🙂

    Warm hugs,



  349.  #349Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 8:40 am

    RE 348 Me too. I am now wondering if Mel could borrow it and watch it with hubby



  350.  #350Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 8:41 am

    I was just thinking about that time I was telling ya’ll about above..when I was beating the heck out of the ground with the golf club. I remember that I took several swings at the side of my garage too.

    I am “watching” myself in my mind and laughing my a$$ off. My work husbands think I have finally lost my mind. 😉



  351.  #351DE on June 17, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Gosh, I could never do it (smash, break, rip things…) I tried…:( My ex husband used to turn the house upside down…I felt terrified of such outburst of anger 🙁 and usually, my cloths, my stuff were the ones that took the hit…Son of a bitch…he would never choose his “collections” or mommy and daddy’s family fu*cking antics…

    Arghhh

    Warm hugs,



  352.  #352Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 8:42 am

    By the way it is “Mad Black Woman” a Tyler Perry movie



  353.  #353The_Diva on June 17, 2011 at 8:42 am

    Well, I saw the guy I’ve been working with (professionally) last night. He came to my house for our weekly session.

    As I mentioned before, Im not wanting to get in the habit of making out with him if thats all he’s interested in.

    After our session, we were chit chatting again, he starts to hold me, & I kept turning away whenever I could sense him trying to get closer to kiss me.

    I know this might seem like I was closing off to some, and perhaps it was a little, but its very important to me to NOT be doing this with him if he’s not interested in me except to be friends who make out.

    Even with the CD, its going to be impossible for me to pull that off, because I feel a stronger connection with him than with the others.

    As I was sitting there, him holding me, I wouldn’t look up at him, I just continued talking, we talked & bantered but I deliberately avoided the kissing part. And I almost said, ‘what are we doing?’ and brought up why I was doing it, but everytime I went to open my mouth, in the silences between our other conversations, it felt forced & unnatural to say something, so I didn’t.

    And he eventually gave up trying to kiss me. And I never said anything. He left looking a little sad & confused, or maybe just annoyed, I dont know.

    And Im seriously hoping I havent screwed this whole thing up. I can say I feel more confident & less shaky in my body as far as not being that girl thats his friend that he gets to fool around with.

    But I dont know whats going through his head, so I seriously hope I didnt f&*^ it all up by not saying something.



  354.  #354Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 8:43 am

    You ladies are really making my day today Lilybelly and DE. I feel so energized and alive



  355.  #355Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 8:46 am

    RE 353 How do you feel and what is your inner voice saying?



  356.  #356Mel on June 17, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Ok… so laughing at the absurdity of these angry thoughts is completely normal. What a relief!

    I WILL be stopping by the grocery store on the way home to pick up some eggs though….

    I could throw them off the bridge into the river, but somehow smashing them would feel better. Just have to find somewhere that won’t get me charged with vandalism! 😉



  357.  #357DE on June 17, 2011 at 8:46 am

    FW:

    Sweet 🙂 Lilybelle and I, are one and the same 🙂 Just kidding 🙂

    Out to work ladies…:) Hope nothing goes bad while I am gone 🙂

    Warm hugs to u all 🙂



  358.  #358Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 8:54 am

    354:

    Awwww, thank you.

    This is an honest to goodness true story. I was so angry when I did that, I KNEW if I didn’t find some outlet for it though, the person I was angry at would have felt cornered and attacked and it would have been such a horrible situation so I did the only thing I could…beat the hell out of the garage and ground. It is so funny to look at myself doing that right now. This small petite woman…raging mad and then crumpled on the groud sobbing her eyes out. Then after that was done, I laid on the grass…eyes all swollen, sweaty and hot, hair a mess and watched the clouds roll by. And I felt peaceful and knew what I needed to do then. It was kinda surreal..

    That is the point I am trying to make for Mel. I believe in order for her to authentically express her anger at her husband for ALL of this, she has to get herself from rage to anger so that when it does come out..it has a better chance of coming out in a way that feels good to them both. I believe it is extremely important to realize for Mel, that he does NOT hold all the power here. MEL has to find her power and move into it.

    Why does HE get to decide if HE loves HER and wants to continue the marriage. Why doesn’t MEL get to decide if SHE wants this too. What if Mel got to the point where she could focus on HER and what she WANTS? WOW!! I don’t believe she can do that though without dealing first, with the rage and anger she is currently feeling.

    Sheesh, does any of the $hit I am writing make sense??

    Mel, please don’t mis-interpret this as Me knowing what is best for You. It is not how I intend it at all.



  359.  #359Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 8:54 am

    DE: Enjoy this beautiful day.

    I agree with what FW said earlier. You remind me of a gorgeous kitty cat that moves gracefully, flits her fluffy tail while knowing that the greatest gift she can give someone is to let them pet her and bask in the music of her purrs.

    I love it!

    What a pretty kitty

    purrrrrrrr



  360.  #360Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 8:58 am

    Lillybelle: 348

    What a wise siren you are. The force is strong with this one.

    *said in yoda voice*

    🙂



  361.  #361DE on June 17, 2011 at 8:59 am

    LG #359:

    Wow, i feel like “purring”…and “bashing” my “eye lashes” for u Dahling…..:) So, generous of u 🙂

    Thank you, well that made my day too 🙂

    Big warm hugs,



  362.  #362Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 9:01 am

    Mel: I’m wondering if the feeling of amusement was able to come in because you acknowledged the anger. By feeling the anger, space was created within your psyche. I think you are onto something here!!!



  363.  #363The_Diva on June 17, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Re 355

    I feel like I may have regained some of my power. I can barely hear my inner voice, & I cant quite detect what its saying, but I can say I feel a little more power.

    I just wont know until I see him again. We decided as he was leaving to meet for an extra rehearsal next Tuesday. I guess I wont know until I see him then.

    Omg, I hope this does come up. I want him know where Im coming from. I think the worse thing would be if he is closed off next Tues. & he never takes it anywhere.

    Uggghh. Im feeling so many things right now…



  364.  #364Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 9:07 am

    Mel, you could throw the eggs at the back wall of your shower.



  365.  #365Mel on June 17, 2011 at 9:09 am

    Thank-you Lillybelle! I appreciate your post.

    Ok, So I printed out this photo of him on my color copier at work. I’m feeling really really mischievous. I’m smirking. I am feeling like a very bad girl. 😉

    I’m booking myself a massage at the spa for after my rage unleashing. And he’s going to foot the bill. 🙂



  366.  #366Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 9:10 am

    RE 363 To hear your inner voice try to focus your attention on the lower part of your body your heart to your belly.

    I felt jolted by your comment “I just wont know until I see him again” after you said you feel you had regained power. Are you suggesting your power is somehow tied to him? Or he has to somehow give you permission to feel your power?



  367.  #367Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Or smash them on the kitchen floor then roll around naked in the goo (best clean up the shells first lol).



  368.  #368Eileen Mary on June 17, 2011 at 9:13 am

    Still feeling waves of dispair over J the ex, but meeting a new guy tonight.

    Off topic, but think you Sirens will enjoy this from a cousin of mine.

    GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

    Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile, and naturally beautiful!

    Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

    Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

    Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

    Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

    Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

    Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

    After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages….
    An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

    THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

    Between 1 and 90, a man is like Iran. Ruled by nuts.

    THE END.



  369.  #369Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 9:13 am

    Or you could use a wooden spoon to slam gobs of pudding onto the kitchen floor then roll around naked in that.



  370.  #370Mel on June 17, 2011 at 9:15 am

    Lucy,

    PERFECT! The shower it is…. I can clean up the shells easily enough. And if he happens to find a few… hee hee, oh well!



  371.  #371Mel on June 17, 2011 at 9:16 am

    OMG Lucy! Pudding… Now that’s funny!



  372.  #372Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 9:18 am

    RE 370 If he finds a few you will be the mysterious goddess who he wonders about what her day might have been like



  373.  #373Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 9:19 am

    365:

    Now THAT is what I am talking about! You GO, girl!!!

    The shower is a great idea, Lucy!

    You have your picture ready, eggs on the way home and the shower.

    I’d go ahead and have a slug of that scotch too, for good measure. 😉



  374.  #374Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 9:19 am

    RE 369/371 That feels like the little girl throwing her tantrum. Yeah



  375.  #375Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 9:22 am

    RE 373 I feel really inspired.



  376.  #376Mel on June 17, 2011 at 9:25 am

    My mom says I used to throw the best tantrums!

    She said they’d ask me to clean my room or something and I’d say “I DON”T HAVE TO!” So she’d drag me up the stairs and with each step I’d scream “I don’t have to!” LOL. Why am I not that spunky anymore? I should be!



  377.  #377Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 9:29 am

    RE 376 You little girl is still there. Embrace her, feel her. You are still spunky.



  378.  #378Ella on June 17, 2011 at 9:32 am

    WAAAAAAAAA Vampire SCREAM!

    Feeling Sooooo frustrated right now.

    Tbh I feel completely unfulfilled with what I am attracting into my life atm.

    And I am so doing the work.

    It seems like Step up man has disappeared since I said I don’t want a fling… Pubman is just some kind of imaginary relationship I think.

    As regards to my work, whilst I have to admit that the Zumba classes are picking up my other business is so up and down.

    It relies on other people, who I recruit for the company, and is completely comission based. I have had so many people join, full of enthusiasm, only to flake at the first hurdle and it feels so frustrating.

    I don’t know maybe I have it all wrong.

    Sometimes I look around at the other women around me, all doing pretty much the opposite of the tools, and yet it looks to me as if they are so far
    ahead!

    Argh, sometimes I just feel like giving up.

    And just saying F8ck it all, and becoming a heap on the floor.

    I feel tired and exhausted from trying.

    And maybe that is the problem but really I don’t know how not to try…

    I get excited about stuff and I can’t help but hope that certain things will happen. And then feel disappointed when they don’t.

    On the other hand I also wonder if I am too closed off. Like for example does Pubman know how much I do want to be with him?

    Would it make a difference?

    All I have brought up when he has mentioned being together is objections.

    And that is bc I feel afraid to be with him cus I feel mistrustful.

    Arghhh it just feels so hard.

    How do I surrender?

    I just feel so FRUSTRATED with men choosing not to step up.

    Want to be open… and I just wish things could be easier sometimes.

    GRRRRRRWSAAAAAAAssssa



  379.  #379The_Diva on June 17, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Re 366

    No, he has hothing to do with why I decided to avoid kissing him, other than possibly being the messenger that he is. He might be more than that, I dont know.

    I made this decision for me, because I’ve been down this road before, back when I had little self esteem. I fell in love with another person in the business, we worked together & I was that girl that he was friends with be we fooled around for close to 2 years & the whole time I thought he would fall in love with me.

    He didnt. He married a girl that he was seeing while he was fooling around with me. This broke my heart & it took a very long time to heal that.

    I am now heal & open to falling in love again, but I am much too confident & fulfilled now to make those same mistakes again. I can’t & won’t go down that road again. NOTHING is worth the heartache of accepting crumbs from a man who is not interested.

    So no, this new man does not hold my power, what I meant was that I wont know what hes thinking til I see him again.

    Since nothing was said, I dont know what hes thinking. And I dont want him to take it the wrong way. I did this because I dont want to be that girl again.



  380.  #380Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 9:41 am

    RE 379 Forget about what he is thinking. If you are feeling uncomfortable with the making out you should express those feelings rather than acting out. You are a mature woman who knows what she wants. Think of yourself that way. You should not be afraid of losing him or the business with him if you don’t push aside your feelings and make out with him. He is not a mind reader though nad I would clearly tell him what I want in my life.



  381.  #381Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 9:46 am

    As a matter of fact you are The Diva and he might not be able to help himself. You are so magnetic you might be unconsciously pulling him in with your energy. Do you feel you are worthy of his attention?



  382.  #382Mel on June 17, 2011 at 9:53 am

    The massage therapist will be a man… eek! That feels frightening! Oh well, maybe I need some “man hands” LOL!



  383.  #383LonePlum on June 17, 2011 at 10:00 am

    _Lonelyness comes from lying and projecting onto others and dictating what others “should” think and feel and do. It is self abandonment.

    _Anger transforms into clarity when we question our thoughts.

    When I was 12, I was given in school the Greek philosophers to read; I remember pieces about stoicism.
    I remember one line we had to translate from ancient Greek to French.
    It said something like “I can feel peace in any circumstances, I can chose to feel happy when I am in exile, or in danger or in dislike or even when facing death. Happiness is my choice and do I have a better choice anyhow?”

    Forgive me the changes my memory is operating in the translation, it was decades ago, I remember the theory and the feeling I got from it, I don’t remember the sentences word by word.

    I also had to translate something that said more or less, “When I can’t change reality, I can chose to love what is and experience peace or I can chose to fight reality and experience fear.”

    They refer to the kindness of the cosmos in its perfection and they recommend to question our thoughts until we feel in alignment with the reality and the perfection of the cosmos.
    They recommend to question our thoughts when they cause anxiety, because they probably are not related to our inner kindness.
    They say that wrong judgments are what create destructive emotions.
    The cosmos in its kindness leave us totally free to feel PEACE no matter what. It is a choice we can make intellectually by questioning our judgments until we see the truth. Truth leads to love.

    They were about love and accepting human kind as one whole, each equal to other, no matter the outside circumstances of life, and with the freedom to stay in alignment with the reality and perfection of the cosmos.
    When Christianity became an official church in Rome, the Stoicist writings were destroyed. Thanks “God” lol enough writings have survived for us to have done our best along the centuries to keep in touch with the recipe to help love win against fear.

    I feel sure if the Greek philosophers had youtube handy, back then in the third century before Christ, they would have had EXACTLY the same type of meeting Katie Byron and the Abraham couple and so many others nowadays are having.
    I feel thrilled, I love seeing the Greek stoicism going around the world as fast as lightning, thanks to Internet!
    I love that people who can’t read or write, people who can’t access libraries, can watch youtube and learn to THINK to understand their feelings so they can CHOOSE to FEEL LOVE at last.

    Here is an example of ancient Greek theories applied in a “made easy for all tool”.
    I recommend to watch this video. It is simply LOVELY, a reminder for each of us , no matter our circumstances.

    http://www.thework.com/watch-being_gay.php

    xxx



  384.  #384The_Diva on June 17, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Re 380 & 381

    No, he is not a mindreader, & yes, I do feel I should clearly tell him whats on my mind about what I am confortable with doing if we are NOT dating.

    It just felt like last night bringing it up would have been forced, so I chose to say nothing.

    And yes, I do feel worthy of his attention. Absolutely.



  385.  #385Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 10:23 am

    Loneplum thank you. It just goes to show how we can be our own worst enemy. It’s amazing and empowering when we can accept ourselves. I can be the change I want to see in the world.



  386.  #386Eileen Mary on June 17, 2011 at 10:34 am

    Ella been feen feeling much the same as you and did say F it and dated myself the last 3 weeks. What happens? Ex stops me on the street and tells me he misses me and thinks of me always and then stays with current woman. F me! F him! Two guys from online sites want to meet. OK the one has been saying that for months I was begining to think he was married. Meeting tonight, cute, hot body, but for some reason I am not all that excited. Sunday another new guy, yawn. The ex has created a tsunami of sadness flowing over me. Miss him and trying to change the vibe as he is off having a good time with new woman he described as nice and intelligent, but not sure she is “the one”. Me on the other hand isdescribed as hot, life changing, emotionally and physically giving and always in his thoughts. WTF. I am mad, sad, confused and sexual deprived. Lot’s of local men would be happy to rectify the last.

    Then there is great blues eyes that is local that has a GF and has fliurted with me for over a year. Heard the other day that is over. Know where to hang to run into him, but was there last week and got his flirting which was returned. Could really go for this guy, but will be busy this week elsewhere. Hmmm maybe next friday he will be treated with my presence. My new perfume should be received by then that always gets a man’s attention. Gaultier 2. I love being a girl.



  387.  #387Eileen Mary on June 17, 2011 at 10:36 am

    FM I am always feel like I am my worst enemy and chase men away. I know I have more to offwer than most and all I can come up with it is a fear defense mechanism.



  388.  #388Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 11:00 am

    @262: kaitlyn says:
    “…i’d like to volunteer for dressforsucess.org but their next interview for that is a long way off…”

    Lots of not-for-profit organizations here. Volunteer opportunities as well as jobs.

    http://www.idealist.org/

    xoxo
    SLV



  389.  #389Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 11:24 am

    @267: Jeannette says:
    “…A miracle is what is needed….pretty much all the way around. I still feel impressed to help him through this no matter what….”

    A few things come to mind:
    1) Not every loving relationship must result in marriage.
    2) What dollar figure per month are you seeking? If you are concerned about money, it’s VERY IMPORTANT to have concrete numbers to avoid slipping into mindset of “lack , “poor”, “not enough”, etc How much money would be enough? If a person does not know, there is a mindset problem whether or not there are financial difficulties.
    3)Could you live and be happy on whatever amount of money you had? I bet you could! Lots of people do.
    4) If not, what’s your number? If one does not have one and worries about money, nothing will ever be enough.
    5) I’m getting kind of excited now thinking there are a bunch of guys out there that are being tossed aside only because they don’t have a lot of money.

    Yippee! What a bargain! If they meet my first qualification, I’ll sweep them all up. Assuming these guys are living in North America they will have some resources even if very little. I can deal with it, yea! Seniors get all kinds of discounts too. I have lots of imagination, I’m very resourceful and I can work miracles! Jeannette I bet you could too.

    😀



  390.  #390Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

    @277: Mel says:
    “… what am I supposed to do? I’m sick of pretending…”

    I wouldn’t pretend but I wouldn’t sit around a man crying either. If I went to the park (I love going to the park I guess you can tell) and sat on a bench I’d feel better. I’d cry there a little bit too.

    Maybe a knight in shining armor would come by and offer his assistance. I think I told that story here on the blog. The young woman was single but… a stranger, her future husband, did come along as she sat weeping on a park bench…

    And we all get to decide who we love. It’s wonderful when they love us in return.

    😀



  391.  #391Daria on June 17, 2011 at 11:45 am

    Slv – I love ur money posts



  392.  #392Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 11:46 am

    @275: may_cathy says:
    “…I like so much this blog,i want to try the free download but i can’t get it cause i dont have any credit cards and atm…”

    If you are in the U.S. use a bank debit card or buy a pre-paid one usually available at large chain drugstores or other stores. Easy Peasy.

    😀



  393.  #393Daria on June 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

    I woke up feeling good!

    And there’s 3 calls, a text, and a voicemail from…. SexyCD

    He says I know we haven’t talked in awhile but I’ve been looking at your myspace for a few Weeks and I don’t know how to say this but I really really want you, and everything that comes along with it

    That felt real nice



  394.  #394Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 11:51 am

    @391: Daria says:
    “…Slv – I love ur money posts…”

    😆 A little can go a long way and it’s fun… But if you want more money, that’s cool too. You will have more options. But there are many options available that don’t require being rich.

    😀



  395.  #395Daria on June 17, 2011 at 11:57 am

    Happy birthday Emerson!



  396.  #396Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 11:58 am

    @285: Lilybelle says:
    “…I went out in my garage, grabbed a golf club, took it outside and beat the hell out of the ground for about five minutes…”

    I’m glad that worked for you but if I was that angry and it happened to be about a guy who had “messed up ” really badly, I’d want to swing the golf club at his head! No, a golf club would not be good for me to be near… :wink”
    😀



  397.  #397turquoise3 on June 17, 2011 at 11:58 am

    Hi everyone,

    My girls are on their way home from camp. I’ve really missed them, can’t wait to spend the evening together.

    Thank you Tinque! I wouldn’t say feelings were discouraged or anything when I was growing up, my mom is just a pretty serious person and we had a lot of struggles. It was more when I was a teenager and I started feeling let down or deeply hurt by a few friends, and a guy…. that I think I started to hold my feelings in more. I can be very emotional, open, and share my feelings. I just think I tell myself not to feel things, almost like being in denial, so it doesn’t seem so bad. Or, to look at the positive of the situation….. Any help/work/support you have to offer, I’d appreciate it. Sometimes I think it’s easier for others to notice things about me, than for me to realize. Feeling messages are going to be tough…. it would get on my nerves to be around someone who constantly talked about their feelings, if they were unhappy anyways.



  398.  #398Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    @294: Mel
    “…Nah. He probably won’t even text me. Too busy looking at porn in his tent.
    Wow…! that was BITTER! Yikes…”

    But didn’t it feel good…!

    😀



  399.  #399Feminewoman on June 17, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    RE 397 turquoise3 you say feeling messages are going to be tough which is a belief that you could possibly decide to change to make it easy. For instance I noticed you first sentence and thought “”hhhmm I wonder if she could have said it felt or I felt a little lonely without them. I love my eight year olds laughter as I feel really alive when she is around. What do you think?



  400.  #400tinque on June 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Well Turquoise, I see a combination of stuffing which isn’t good for you, for feelings can fester within and end up coming out in ways you may not want as well as you wanting to protect yourself from feeling those hurts again which may have hit your hard as a teenager.

    The thing with feeling messages is you don’t have to voice each and every feeling, only the ones you feel compelled to, the ones which maybe impact you in more significant ways, AND more importantly, they are not only about negative things. The good feeling feelings are maybe more important to express than the not so good feeling ones.

    And they don’t have to always look like, “I feel…” It can be, “I love it when….” or “Yum” or “Purrrrr” and so on.

    xxoo



  401.  #401Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    @327: Brenda says:
    “…They have a farm, and I asked if I could put my tent there and be there with my pets.
    Am I ruining my life by keeping my pets? …”

    This sounds like a solution that will let you keep your animals. Good. It won’t be forever and ever. And it could be a fun adventure. Go for it!!!

    xoxo
    SLV



  402.  #402Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    @368: Eileen Mary

    ROFL 😆



  403.  #403Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    @379: The_Diva says:
    “…So no, this new man does not hold my power, what I meant was that I wont know what hes thinking til I see him again…”

    Do you think it might be a good thing to concentrate on what YOU are thinking? If he’s not asking you out, he’s perhaps thinking he’s got an easy girl who he can fool around with, have a bit of fun with and she doesn’t require much… a low maintenance woman. Has he offered anything? A cup of coffee even outside of work?

    😀



  404.  #404Daria on June 17, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    398: Senior Lady Vibe says:
    @294: Mel
    “…Nah. He probably won’t even text me. Too busy looking at porn in his tent.
    Wow…! that was BITTER! Yikes…”

    But didn’t it feel good…!

    ***

    Id guess it did feel good, and also bad. attacks feel that way, Rori told us to observe the feelings carefully around that and i finally started noticing it

    it feels good and powerful, and it feels bad, i feel removed and distant from the person

    going for the feelings and non-judgement always feels good when we are authentic



  405.  #405Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    @404: Daria says:
    398: Senior Lady Vibe says:
    @294: Mel
    “…Nah. He probably won’t even text me. Too busy looking at porn in his tent.
    Wow…! that was BITTER! Yikes…”
    But didn’t it feel good…!…
    ***Id guess it did feel good, and also bad. attacks feel that way,…”

    I don’t believe it was an attack. I do believe it was making light of a serious situation. A situation a woman can’t control anyway.

    This would be my inner dialogue… something like this:

    Yes, maybe he is in the tent looking at porn. Maybe he’s also in the tent doing something live with a couple of other guys and gals: toys and double pen. Maybe he’ll be gone for another week. Could I survive if that happened… well, I guess I could. Could I find happiness in life, well, I guess I could.

    What’s the worse thing I could imagine him doing? Could I deal with that and go on living, make a life for myself? Well, I guess I could. Am I stuck with this man and what he’s doing, well, I guess I’m not.

    If I could cope with the worse I could imagine, I can cope with what there is.

    😀



  406.  #406Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    @Emerson

    Happy birthday to you and…

    Venus Williams (31 today)
    Barry Manilow (65 today)
    Newt Gingrich (68 today)

    In honor of composer Igor Stravinsky (June 17, 1882) here is his composition “The Rite of Spring” which Walt Disney used in the classic animation masterpiece “Fantasia.” For all but the true Stravinsky fan (I’m not) the first three minutes is rather slow.

    Bear in mind, the fabulous animation in “Fantasia” was created several decades before computer generation animation. That’s a lot of hand drawn animation cels!

    Fantasia 1940 – The Rite of Spring – Part 1: Genesis
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gZbMOq_Ge8&NR=1

    😀



  407.  #407Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    Fantasia 1940 – The Rite of Spring – Part 2: Evolution
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGdK9jpn19w&feature=related



  408.  #408Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    Fantasia 1940 – The Rite of Spring – Part 3: Extinction
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M16zasqydUE&feature=related

    😀



  409.  #409Daria on June 17, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    when *i* am authentic



  410.  #410Jeannette on June 17, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    Well thanks everyone….I am very tired and probably just need not think of ANYTHING this evening. Thanks for your responses…But one thing….I would have to make enough money, that is between him and me, so that we can meet our bills and not have to act as beggars…Just a house note, utilities, food and car insurance. Cars do have to be maintained too…That’s about it I guess.



  411.  #411Daria on June 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    any blame thing, is an attack. ‘he’s probably too busy looking at porn” is an attack – in this case

    its very common to couch the attack in humor, sarcasm…

    this is a common habit and coping strategy many of us have – i know i do

    this is somewhat subtle stuff… and so it often flies under our radars

    im not sharing this to judge anyone, or point fingers at someone for attacking. this is very common, totally understandable… and

    it damages intimacy

    it helps to be really aware of our patterns and whats going on under the surface

    as rori teaches, be really aware of how it FEELS to say that

    for me it feels thrilling and powerful, and also kinda distant and lonely… i don’t feel connected or close to the person that i directed it at



  412.  #412Mel on June 17, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    “for me it feels thrilling and powerful, and also kinda distant and lonely… i don’t feel connected or close to the person that i directed it at”

    But that’s the whole reason I’m feeling this angry in the first place. Because I don’t feel close or connected. Saying that made me feel neither good nor bad… but it was just interesting to note the anger emerging.



  413.  #413The_Diva on June 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    @ 403

    Yes, we have gone out a couple of times, went for coffee & dinner after our session & then got together one day in lieu of a session.

    But that all stopped 2 weeks ago. We were texting in between meetings but that also came to a screeching hault. And 2 weeks went by where we didn’t talk except for maybe a munute in between meetings but he would still grab me & kiss me after our sessions. I remember him saying the first week, “Ok I’ll see you when i see you” & the next week “Ok, talk to you later”

    Thats why Im not comfortable making out with hi during our sessions. It would be a different story if I could tell he was pursuing me outside making out during our sessions.

    Which is why Im assuming he’s not really all that interested.



  414.  #414Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    @411: Daria says:
    “…this is somewhat subtle stuff… and so it often flies under our radars…”

    It’s not subtle; it’s bold, deliberate and “visible to radar” at least the radar of my thoughts. It’s about owning my own power of choice and ability to create my own happiness. Nobody is attacked in words or deed. Nothing uncivil has to happen.

    The technique affirms that I have control only over myself not other people but that I can cope with things that go differently than I hope. I, of course, recognize that this might not be a technique that you would use.

    Different people use different ways of doing things.

    😀



  415.  #415Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    @411: Daria says:
    “…im not sharing this to judge anyone, or point fingers at someone for attacking…”

    Well, I’ve read the word “attack” a few times in discussing what I posted when in fact there was no attack… nor would there be one.

    😀



  416.  #416Mel on June 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Going to get my massage now. Hopefully I won’t be too relaxed to chuck some eggs when I get back.



  417.  #417Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    @413: The_Diva says:
    “…Thats why Im not comfortable making out with hi during our sessions. It would be a different story if I could tell he was pursuing me outside making out during our sessions….”

    For what it’s worth, I won’t be comfortable with that either. As I read it, it seems his pursuit has slowed.

    😀



  418.  #418Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    416:

    I’ll be waiting for you when you get done chucking eggs.

    Remember…throw them as hard as you can and let it all out.



  419.  #419The_Diva on June 17, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    @ 417 Thank you.

    Yes, its seems it has, which is why I felt the need to stop making out with him. It makes me feel cheap, like he doesn’t have to DO anything outside of showing up to our weekly sessions.

    When I approached him, I approached him to work with him professionally, I wasn’t looking for a love connection.



  420.  #420Rusty on June 17, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    27: T-Girl says:

    My 13 yo daughter is suddenly taking issue with the time I spend with poker player. She said it is because she misses her dad as she only gets to see him 4 days a month. She sees poker player more than her dad. I could sure use some advice on how to mesh my mom life with my relationship life. I don’t ever want to get to the point where I have to choose between the two. I finally feel like I have the love I deserve and have been without for so long. Poker player says we will overcome this together but I still feel scared.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Does the dad want more time with her? If so, the obvious choice is to just allow the daughter more time with her dad. The question of course is how well you and her dad can work together to make this work.

    Here’s another thing. Never fear the child deciding she wants to go live with dad. Children are fickle and at one point, she will want to live with dad, but after doing that for a while, she will want to move home.

    The main thing is to parent much like you SHOULD if you are together. In other words, a united front. Agree together on how things will be and then stick to that. The point being to not allow her to play you guys against each other to get what she wants. To not allow her to just move back and forth to get what she wants. If it is legitimately just about missing one parent…let the child spend more time with that parent. If that parent is agreeable. Don’t worry about whether or not he will be “perfect” with the child. If he’s not perfect, that is good because she will see that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.



  421.  #421Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    383 Loneplum, I love that. My darling man cd talks like that. I think I love him.



  422.  #422Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    412 Mel. I perceived it as a bit of riffing…and it got you to this place of being ready to deal with your anger. Thinking of you tonight and anticipating hearing how the egg-smashing goes… <3



  423.  #423Rusty on June 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    378: EllaNo Gravatar says:

    WAAAAAAAAA Vampire SCREAM!

    Feeling Sooooo frustrated right now.

    Tbh I feel completely unfulfilled with what I am attracting into my life atm.

    And I am so doing the work.

    It seems like Step up man has disappeared since I said I don’t want a fling… Pubman is just some kind of imaginary relationship I think.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Ella, remember i told you that many many times, the much younger guy is just interested in a fling. Fine for a woman who just wants to have fun with a young tight body. But you are being true to yourself. That is not what you want. What you must do is look at the bright side. You have made room for a genuine guy to move into. If you are on dates with “step up guy” who didn’t want to step up, then you are not available for another man. So see him showing his true colors, if that is what happened, as a good thing.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Sometimes I look around at the other women around me, all doing pretty much the opposite of the tools, and yet it looks to me as if they are so far
    ahead!

    Don’t be so quick to believe this. People put up good fronts in public. For all you know, those women go home to an abusive man, or a man who gives her nothing but crumbs. or they run around giving it up to every guy they find attractive and are left feeling unfulfilled because the guy then doesn’t call for the next 3 weeks. Point is, you don’t know what is really going on unless you are a fly on the wall in their home.

    If I may make a suggestion, find a LARGE local church. Go in there some Sunday. Find out if they have groups for young (20’s/30’s) singles. It’s not a secret that many singles go there to find other singles. The idea being that they might be a bit more honest about wanting a real relationship. It does work for some. If anything, it just introduces you to new people. Sometimes just making new friends opens up doors for you…but these friends will likely have among them some genuinely nice men that ARE looking for something serious.



  424.  #424Dawn on June 17, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Anyone!! How does guarding your thoughts and words help you create a reality? Am I missing something? Doesnt feel very authentic.



  425.  #425Daria on June 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    SLV- I’m just sharing what Rori teaches.

    ‘he’s probably to busy looking at porn in his tent’

    IS an attack.

    I feel frustrated that my voice seems to trigger sone to ‘do battle’ with me.

    Nevertheless, my information is directly drawn from what Rori teaches.

    I hope it’s helpful to others to read even if it meets with resistance from some, including the person addressed.



  426.  #426Daria on June 17, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    What is subtle is that the humor is couching an attack…



  427.  #427DE on June 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Dawn #424:

    I feel a bit confused by your question…it appears to be out of context…would you elaborate a bit more?

    Warm hugs,



  428.  #428DE on June 17, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Daria #425:

    I totally agree with you…Thank you for reminding me about how humor and sarcasm are indeed cover ups of deeper feelings…and neither would help heal a relationship…

    Warm hugs,



  429.  #429Tammy on June 17, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    I have been dating since December 2010 and this is so new for me as I was married for 25+ years and I am 48 years old starting over; plus I just moved out of my hometown to a city where i know no one. So I get so bored just sitting in my apt and want to go out but just dont want to go bars by myself but I am tempted to do, lol. Plus when I go on dates i run out of things to talk about. I go to work as a preschool teacher and listen to my country music and I am a pretty laid back person. But trying to get my life back together is what i want to do and I definitely want dating as part of that. What book do you think I should start out with? I love reading all ur advice. It is great!! Tammy



  430.  #430Dawn on June 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    DE, It is something someone said here . # 342 It makes no sense to me .



  431.  #431Daria on June 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Mel – I know u don’t feel close or connected to him.

    What I’m saying is that, by attacking or blaming him (even w humor which makes it more ‘fuzzy’ to see that is indeed an attack)

    We are actually pushing away both our feelings and intimacy.

    I think it’s great to rage at him privately bust eggs and say whatever, as a therapeutic process. This is very cathartic.

    Even better than sarcasm actually.

    But after the rage, the energy shifts and we have to move back into paying attention to our feelings.

    Basically, in our head our out loud, blame is going to Not create connection, or intimacy.

    What you want is to recreate connection and intimacy with your husband.

    So rage to get it out, freely, then feel what you feel. Translate the raging to feelings.

    Be aware of these ‘blaming sarcastic thoughts’. And then notice and say wow… I must be feeling… Angry.



  432.  #432Rusty on June 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Mel

    Mel

    Mel

    I wanted to make a comment here. You might be able to see this once suggested. Do you think his “camping trip..to decide if he loves you” is an attempt by him to rock you back on your heels? To scare you into caving in and just accepting what ever he has to offer?

    What I am wondering is if he is an ENTJ or some other personality type that feels a need to be in control. Often in a good relationship this isn’t a problem but when under stress or pressure he might act out in a bad way, and feel very threatened if he feels he is losing control.

    What i would do if I were you is just keep looking out for yourself. I know that is hard in some ways but just worry about making yourself happy.

    If all he has to offer is crumbs, then let him now that isn’t enough and that you are done wasting your life on a relationship that is far less than fulfilling. I mean nobody should toss aside a relationship just because it isn’t perfect but if the person tosses nothing but table scraps, and won’t even try, then that is a different story.

    I’ll be honest. If I were you, I likely would have told him that you were leaving. That you also needed to decide if you wanted to stay in a relationship where your man gives you crumbs and then acts surprised that you aren’t happy. I would let him know that you would be gone and he could look you up and give you his decision and you would figure that info into your thinking and let him know what your decision is later.

    I don’t know why but I have this impression of you being a pretty hot looking young woman who is just invested in this relationship and the rejection you feel in it makes you feel less special than you are…makes you question your looks, personality, etc…

    Go out dancing with your friends and make it a point to make eye contact with guys you find attractive. If you see them look your way, don’t look away for at least 5 seconds. This of course is something you literally have to think about. You will have to resist the urge to look away real quick. And you will have to count. 1-2-3-4-5.

    I am willing to bet that a lot of them will approach and ask you to dance, or buy you a drink.

    This will help remind you that men do find you attractive.

    Dress sexy too. Spend some of his money to buy a hot dress to wear out to the club. Have fun and recharge your batteries.



  433.  #433Daria on June 17, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    I must be feeling… Angry, scared, dissapointed , or what not.



  434.  #434DE on June 17, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    Here is wonderful, inspiring passage (to me) written by Kath*rine Wo*dward Th*mas:

    “Speaking authentically requires us to know our own truth. Before sharing our feelings, we must understand what they are. Therefore, speaking our truth demands of us a certain rigor with ourselves. When I was learning how to identify and express the feelings I was having, I spent a lot of time journaling and reading to try to sort through the many emotions, sensations, and responses that had, for so many years, remained unnamed within me.

    I had to own feelings and thoughts that were contrary to my image of myself as a “nice” person. I had to tell the truth on myself, even at the risk of looking bad. There’s no way around it. You really can’t be that invested in looking good if you want to know the experience of love…”

    Excerpt from “Cal*ing in the O*e”

    *********************
    Thanks to Rori and awesome Daria…I have learned to go behind the “niceness” and “pretenses”…thank you for showing me how…

    Warm hugs,



  435.  #435Daria on June 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    Dawn – ‘guard thoughts and words’. My understanding is to notice when we are looping thoughts that feel bad and speaking from them.

    We want to manifest so we are in negative thoughts it won’t work.

    Using Rosa’s stop sign tool and then flipping to a healing thought helps me miraculously to breaj the loop of negative thoughts.



  436.  #436DE on June 17, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    Dawn #430:

    Well, i actually think FW meant it in the way of “pay attention to” …maybe guard was a bit misleading 🙂

    Warm hugs,



  437.  #437Daria on June 17, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Mel – I agre w rusty. After the egg breaking, which sounds awesome, I would go out too or the next day.

    Slv said to go to Vegas. That would’ve been a great move – I was voting for that one.



  438.  #438Dawn on June 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    Daria and DE, That makes sense. thanks



  439.  #439Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Rusty?

    Are you a profiler for the FBI? Lots of MB stuff coming out of you lately.

    😉



  440.  #440Kayla on June 17, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    Ohh, thanks Femininewoman and Kaitlyn.. Ugh I’m kinda bad at this.. I’m still pretty new. But practice makes perfect (: and I will forgive myself and love myself no matter what mistakes I make along the way.



  441.  #441Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    This is totally unrelated to the days topics but it’s kind of interesting, at least to me.

    So those of you who know I am moving to a new pad know how excited I am. I have been “making space” and will really REALLY be in that full speed tomorrow.

    I have this really masculine, heavy cloth shower curtain in #1 Guy’s bathroom right now and have decided that I am going to use that one in my new pad. I love it. It has thin blue stripes, along with some beige etc. Very manly..

    So I wanted to counter balance that masculinity with something feminine. I went shopping after work to find some storage bins..something that wasn’t wicker but something pretty and girly.. (found them) but the best find were towels.

    Beautiful beige towels with pretty, frilly flowers on the bottom of them, not flat as “in the fabric” but raised and poofy and frilly. I fell in love with them instantly and wasn’t sure if they would match the curtain but figured what the heck and bought them, they would be close.

    I got them home and the color is an EXACT match to the beige in the curtain. A perfect blend of masculinity and femininity for my new bath.

    Silly, right? I should do this for a living…I love it so much. And really have a talent for it.



  442.  #442Rusty on June 17, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    439: Lilybelle says:

    Rusty?

    Are you a profiler for the FBI? Lots of MB stuff coming out of you lately.

    😉

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Yes…and we are keeping our eye on you ladies. 😉

    hehe



  443.  #443DE on June 17, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    Rusty:

    That’s Hot!!! I betcha u must be retired 🙂

    Warm hugs,



  444.  #444DE on June 17, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    Lilybelle #441:

    Wow…i love reading about u experience shopping and decorating…:)

    U should share a pic on Fb when done 🙂

    Warm hugs,



  445.  #445Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    OH DE! I should take a picture of the towels so you can see how pretty.

    Hang tight..pic coming soon.

    Great idea!



  446.  #446Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    442:

    Yummy!

    I’ll leave the rest of what I was going to say out.

    Just, yummy.

    *gulp* *fanning self*

    Think Criminal Minds…”Derek”

    whew…



  447.  #447Lily T. on June 17, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Happy Birthday Emerson! 🙂



  448.  #448Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    RE 441 Not silly at all I believe interior decorating is lucrative business



  449.  #449Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    I just lost a post and I don’t have the will or time to recreate it…

    That must mean it’s time to switch hats.

    😀



  450.  #450Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    My point was missed ENTIRELY, misstated if not actually ignored. That’s OK. It works well for me, as do other things I learned.

    I’d like a partner but I’m OK without one. On the other hand, don’t be surprise if I marry again before you…

    😀



  451.  #451Senior Lady Vibe on June 17, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    450: Senior Lady Vibe says:
    My point was missed ENTIRELY, misstated if not actually ignored. That’s OK. It works well for me, as do other things I learned.

    I’d like a partner but I’m OK without one. On the other hand, don’t be surprised if I marry again before you…

    😀



  452.  #452Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    RE 422 Me too Lucy



  453.  #453Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    I love you too SLV
    I love your insights and believe I understand you a bit. I appreciate your experiences. Thanks for sharing.



  454.  #454Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    RE 429 Hi Tammy do you have Rori’s book? I would suggest getting it. I would also look up Gay Hendricks, John Gottman in the Library, they have written several on relationships. I also highly recommend The 5 Love Languages.



  455.  #455FlowerChild77 on June 17, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Lilybelle, are you going to do feng-shui in your new apartment? Just curious…and I don’t think getting excited about your new home is silly at all <3

    Environment is very important. I think it was in a Christiane Northrup book where I read that every time we are in 'awe' it's like a shot of serotonin in the brain. I realized how important it is to be surrounded by things that are very pleasing to us.

    Every time I look out on my front porch (now that it's all clean and full of greenery) I just breath in and smile. I love how it looks. There are other parts of my house that I feel this way about. (Looking at a baby can do this for me, also.) The more we can experience this feeling–imagine how much 'feel good' hormones could be floating around our brains! 🙂

    Even if it's just something simple and 'everyday'–I look for as many of those moments in a day as I can find.

    NOT silly at all, my dear! 🙂



  456.  #456Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    RE 434 DE thanks for sharing that from Woodward Thomas. Today I admitted to my boss who recently got a promotion that I feel jealous. He initiated the conversation by telling me he was feeling icky in his new office. He always tells me how he feels because he says he feels safe with me. He said he knew people must be disliking him and I shared that I was questioning my feelings towards him and might be harboring some bad feelings. He calmly admitted he knew but showed a bit of shock on his face. When I told him I was feeling jealous was when he was most calm and told me he understood.



  457.  #457Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    RE 455 Like. I have a baby’s picture right next to my computer at work. I love babies. I feel alive when I look at them



  458.  #458FlowerChild77 on June 17, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    >>>”My point was missed ENTIRELY, misstated if not actually ignored. That’s OK. It works well for me, as do other things I learned.

    I’d like a partner but I’m OK without one. On the other hand, don’t be surprised if I marry again before you…”<<<

    Were you talking about #414, SLV? I understood perfectly.



  459.  #459Mel on June 17, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    WOW! That felt GREAT!

    Don’t especially want to clean up the mess… but that really felt good!

    Rusty, you’re probably right. This is just another powerplay. Ugh. That just makes me want to smash something else.

    Also… you know what Rusty, last time we went dancing, I was getting asked to dance for every song. Had I not made a point to dance with my husband, my “card” would have been full all evening (this was one of those “social dance” thingies).

    I’m tiny (5’1 and 110lbs), have big gorgeous blue eyes, a great figure, I would say I’m really cute (button nose, rosy cheeks), and a great rump. You’re right Rusty, I AM a young hottie.

    I really don’t have the option of leaving unless it’s permanent. I would have to essentially quit my job and move myself 4000 km across the country, (I have no family/people I care about here) so if I make that trek, it’s for good.

    But what I CAN do is not just sit around here being miserable “waiting” for his decision.

    ******

    LOL, he just sent a text:

    HIM: “have a good sleep”
    Me: “Oh, I won’t be going to bed for a while, but thanks.”
    HIM: “Why?”

    How should I respond?



  460.  #460FlowerChild77 on June 17, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    #457/FW I actually “ache” to hold a baby. I had four, and their ‘babyhood’ was my favorite part. Just to hold them on my shoulder and rub their little back–maybe walking around or in a rhythmic movement to calm them–to feel their sweet little breath on my neck and the absolute softest little cheek against my face… It makes me cry to type this out..it touches such a deep part of me. Happy, grateful tears;-)

    No matter how down I feel at times, I am never at a loss for things to be grateful for–or things that take my breath away when I look at them <3



  461.  #461FlowerChild77 on June 17, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Mel..I’m happy to hear you talking about yourself with such passion! You are the prize 🙂



  462.  #462Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    Mel: I’d give a fm. How are you feeling right now? Why no sleep?



  463.  #463Rusty on June 17, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    459: Mel says:

    I’m tiny (5’1 and 110lbs), have big gorgeous blue eyes, a great figure, I would say I’m really cute (button nose, rosy cheeks), and a great rump. You’re right Rusty, I AM a young hottie.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Not that I don’t believe you…but I am going to require photos to see for myself. 😉 😛

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    I really don’t have the option of leaving unless it’s permanent. I would have to essentially quit my job and move myself 4000 km across the country, (I have no family/people I care about here) so if I make that trek, it’s for good.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    With the money that you are both making, you can’t put yourself up in a small furnished studio apartment for a few weeks? I think you should do that if you can, just to make him face the reality of an empty apartment.

    Then when he comes to you and wants you back, you could be firm yet kind and state that it is what you want also, but only under the condition that you both get into counseling and only if he makes it very clear that he has learned his lesson, and will admit that he does not like the thought of life without you.

    Oh..yeah…and in case I didn’t mention it before….pictures please. 😉



  464.  #464Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    Flowerchild: I love babies too. I want one….sort of. I’m feel a little hesitant because I also value my freedom.



  465.  #465Mel on June 17, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    LG

    I’m not feeling tired. I’m actually feeling energized after that egg throwing.

    …and I’ll be busy for a bit cleaning up that big mess I made. LOL a few of the eggs went flying OUT of the shower. I can throw hard!!

    And man raw eggs stink! GAG!



  466.  #466Mel on June 17, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    Rusty,

    My most recent photo is me wearing my beekeeping veil… so it might not be my best representation. 😉



  467.  #467Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    459:

    I feel so dang happy to hear this. What did I tell ya?

    You did me proud girl. I’ve been with you every second.

    And let me tell you what I heard in this post…

    Strength and conviction. I am SO proud of you! This is one of the reasons I wanted you to do this exercise; so you would feel your strength.

    Damn girl, I feel proud of you!



  468.  #468Rusty on June 17, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    466: Mel says:

    Rusty,

    My most recent photo is me wearing my beekeeping veil… so it might not be my best representation. 😉

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Of course…if that’s all you are wearing. 😛

    Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? hehe



  469.  #469Mel on June 17, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    Awwww, thanks Lillybelly! 🙂



  470.  #470Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    RE 459 You go Mel.



  471.  #471Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    Now, if I was there Mel, I’d take your happy egg throwing behind out for a drink or two.

    🙂



  472.  #472Mel on June 17, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Heh. Rusty, you crack me up!



  473.  #473Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Mel the cleaning will help burn up some more energy. Think you will have this experience to look back on and laugh.



  474.  #474Mel on June 17, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Rusty, I’ll email you one, but don’t really wanna put it up in such a public place. 🙂



  475.  #475FlowerChild77 on June 17, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    #464/LG I am past the age of having any more babies (51) and I’m the first to admit that my patience isn’t what it used to be; and I know I don’t have the kind of energy it takes to raise a child. I love being a grandmother, though <3

    I feel sort of selfish…this is the first time in my entire life that I've been all alone and can focus on JUST me. I've always been someone's wife or mother. It's a bit scary….but I value every day and I'm so grateful to be in this part of my life.



  476.  #476Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    RE 460 I feel your passion FlowerChild. You have me wondering if you shared that graphic passion with you guy about your love for babies.



  477.  #477Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    474:

    Rusty is just going to show all his FBI dudes.

    😉



  478.  #478Mel on June 17, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    477: LOL!



  479.  #479Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    Mel: I feel so thrilled that you are feeling better. I’m laughing imagining the whole scene. 🙂



  480.  #480Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Flowerchild: Yes, I’ve grown quite comfortable with my freedom. I will probably have a baby soon though. Sometime within the next year and a half.

    Actually, I feel really excited thinking about it.

    It will be fun. I just know it!!!



  481.  #481Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    You know Mel I would not respond to his text. He wanted to away from you so I would allow him to do that,though some here would not agree with me. I would be respecting his decision. He could use his clean break to really feel what it feels like without me and we could reconnect when he gets back.



  482.  #482Rusty on June 17, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    474: Mel says:

    Rusty, I’ll email you one, but don’t really wanna put it up in such a public place. 🙂

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Well..OK, since you are twisting my arm and all. 😉

    rusty5806@yahoo.com

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    477: Lilybelle says:

    474:

    Rusty is just going to show all his FBI dudes.

    😉

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    They already have them but they aren’t sharing. 😉



  483.  #483Rusty on June 17, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    481: Femininewoman says:

    You know Mel I would not respond to his text. He wanted to away from you so I would allow him to do that,though some here would not agree with me. I would be respecting his decision. He could use his clean break to really feel what it feels like without me and we could reconnect when he gets back.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Agree and when he wants to know why she isn’t texting back, when he gets back…just say, “I was busy.” And it would be true. She is busy getting on with her life.



  484.  #484Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    455:

    I have been doing some reading on it for sure. I’ll be focusing on the bedroom, making sure that under the bed isn’t used for storage, adding some red and yellow candles to the room, making sure I sage the new place to remove all negative energies from previous couple who lived there so that it is truly fresh and new.

    I am a decorator at heart. I love the process. I never map it out, I rarely have a plan..This is no different but when I’m all done, I typically fall in love. I have grand ideas for recovering my dining room chairs, (can be done so inexpensively) painting and such. I have another idea for bar stools for my island. I can’t wait to do that too. A can of spray paint and a teeny paint brush with a few different colors… Ideas are popping up all the time.

    Chiffon window scarves for the bedroom with soulmate rings on ribbon…so many things…

    🙂



  485.  #485Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    480:

    OMG!!! I’m so excited thinking about it for you!

    #1 Guy was the best thing that ever happened to me.



  486.  #486Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    483:

    Agreed!



  487.  #487kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    FemWoman,

    “kaitlyn I have to admit I didn’t read all you had written before writing earlier on now I see this “This feels like you wouldn’t be here listening unless it’s in hopes to reel me in as a boyfriend”. He feels your vibe, he knows what your goal is and in my humble opinion he might need to feel that you are interested in him as a human being. He might need to feel you connecting with his spirit. I would find a way to share my passion for life my dreams for my life my connection with something bigger than me, whatever that is for you. Then ask him how about you. I might be wrong but I sense that is the subliminal message he is sending. Don’t know if this makes sense.”

    I feel worried that I already ruined everything because he felt said vibe from me. And I worry that I’ll never get a chance to show him more of myself and my life because there wont be a lean fwd from him.

    Maybe my friends are right…if you have to be on a relationship blog to figure it out, he’s not the right guy for you.



  488.  #488Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    kaitlyn since you showed up here you seemed to be a worrier. Why would your friends be right and you wrong?



  489.  #489kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    Because they’re in successful relationships and I’m not.



  490.  #490Femininewoman on June 17, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    That doesn’t make them right about your relationship. What is a successful relationship anyway?



  491.  #491FlowerChild77 on June 17, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    #476/FW I was 38 when I met him (and he was 45.) He can’t have children. Since I had four of my own already, that was fine with me. (Also, it was great that I didn’t have to worry about birth control!)

    He knows my passion for life–for gardening, for antiques, for my grandchildren, for sensual experiences with him (wink-wink.)

    I don’t think he shares my passion for babies, but I remember holding my first grand baby and rocking her…trying to get her to stop crying and he was so patient. I took care of her when her mom wanted to go back to work after 6 weeks. The crying, etc. didn’t bother him at all.

    Yeah…he knows me…



  492.  #492Mel on June 17, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Rusty: Sent. 🙂



  493.  #493Nikita on June 17, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    Where is Daria ???
    I loved LG’s posts …..loved loved loved



  494.  #494Nikita on June 17, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Loved LG’s posts



  495.  #495Mel on June 17, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    I plan to be out at my lovely yoga class, or swimming in the river or something when he gets home from camping tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I’ll go out dancing.



  496.  #496FlowerChild77 on June 17, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    kaitlyn…she’s right. I’m here trying to figure out if the guy I spent the last 12 years with is the right guy for me. Rori and what she teaches has completely turned my world upside down. Guy or no guy–what I’ve learned here has changed my life and I can never ‘go back’ to the way I used to see things and handle things.

    Your friends have no right to judge you. They may mean well, but only YOU know what’s right for you. Can you see yourself taking what you’ve learned here and using it to go on with your life doing things that you enjoy and value? As long as he can contact you…you never know what might happen <3 And, in the meanwhile, you won't be "on hold" waiting….



  497.  #497Lilybelle on June 17, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    495:

    That is what I am talking about, Mel!



  498.  #498Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Kaitlyn: I can kind of see what your friends are saying. For me, it’s not about being on the blog rather more about the emotions you feel interacting with him.

    From my perspective, it seems like he doesn’t meet some important needs of yours and that you feel pretty bad in regard to his actions often.

    Ultimately though, you are the only judge of this.

    What everyone thinks doesn’t matter one bit.



  499.  #499Laughing Goddess on June 17, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Nikita: heart melting <3



  500.  #500kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    LG,

    Maybe it means I’m too needy. I don’t see Tinque whining and acting needy like I do.



  501.  #501Turquoise on June 17, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Mel… when he gets back, tell him it’s your turn to have the car and take off for the afternoon 🙂

    I’d break some dishes or something else too… I REALLY like the sound of a smashed dish. When my ex would drink a lot, I’d pour the whole damn bottle down the sink, because I could! He’d just go buy another one, but it made me feel good while doing it!!! 🙂



  502.  #502Turquoise on June 17, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    Tinque, that is a relief because I do say I love when you… I’m vocal, have been known to purr on occassion…. and do really feel my emotions show. I have to work on the stuffing. I think being a military wife made me really strong, and I learned to suck it up. Military life is not your own, they miss birthdays, anniversaries, pregnancies, births, move you to places you don’t want to go… so to adapt to that, I learned to make the best of things. I think I talk myself out of bad feelings often, which isn’t really dealing with them, jut shifting them. I’ll work on that.

    FW, you are right. I thought all those things about missing my girls, feeling lonely in the house, worried if they were ok, missing our snuggle time… I thought them all, but didn’t say all that. I guess it will be interesting to see when I really try to focus on my feelings, what I do share in feeling messages. I’m excited to experiment with this and to see what happens.

    Thanks for the support! 🙂



  503.  #503kaitlyn on June 17, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    Going out for a drink around a bunch of degenerates now…yay me



  504.  #504Lucy on June 17, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    Mel, I’m so glad you followed thru with the egg-throwing and that it felt good! <3



  505.  #505Emerson on June 17, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    Thank you DE, Tinque, Brenda and everyone else for the birthday wishes! I had a great day at work, so thankful for a job I love, and just enjoyed the day! My coworkers got me cupcakes and kept saying happy bday all day…so nice! Then after work, dinner with a friend….I feel sleepy! Thanks all for your encouragement and so far 40 seems to be ok….LOL