The Gratitude We Forget to Have – Happy Thanksgiving!

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plantinhandI liked this article – my friend Matthew Walters (you’ll hear him on my February interview with his wife Orna) is a part of Downloads For Change – so I get their newsletters – and even though this is about our “brains” and very “mental” – I thought it gave a very good illustration of how we WORK mentally – so we can adjust some of this…I couldn’t figure out how to reprint the very famous, classic graphic, so I’m just going to give you the link here, and then talk a bit about it:

http://www.downloadsforchange.com/_blog/Hypnosis_mp3_Downloads_Change_Your_Life!/post/The_Gratitude_You_Forgot_to_Have/

Needs.  Getting our needs met.  This, to me, is what relationship is all about, what we yearn for, what we feel depressed about, what we feel hopeless about or exhilarated about.  Our needs are met.  Or they’re not.  And – looking at the chart – it’s not just ANY needs that we need to be met – it’s the ones that heighten our awareness and experience of everything else that’s good.  There’s just nothing like love, romance, affection, attention, sex…

It’s not good enough to have a roof over our head.  Oh…we’re grateful for it, we’re happy we’re not out in the cold – and, there are so many who are, and so many of us who’re AFRAID we MIGHT be out in the cold except for Grace – but it just doesn’t “float our boat” to be happy about having a roof over our head.

We take the “everyday” for granted when we’re missing the big ticket items like love, romance, affection, partnership.  And on a holiday where we’re supposed to be “thankful” – it’s really, really hard to be “thankful” when we feel like there’s a big hole (perhaps many big holes) in our lives.

So – what to do?

It’s really easy to focus on “gratitude.”  Easy in a good, fun, easy way – and too easy in the “it’s easy to SAY way.”

For me…I go about this a few different ways, and I try to go about it every day in some way.

1. “The Three Blessings” that my friend Ryan Eliason taught me.  Every night (or when I want to, or think of it…) I write down in a journal three things I’m grateful for – that I feel are blessings in my life.  Once I sit down to write these things…it’s sort of amazing how many things – sometimes really SMALL things – come up for me.  Try it.

2. Look in the mirror.  Who do you see?  You see the one person in this entire world you possess.  The one person in this entire world you can totally trust, totally count on to be on your side.  The one person you can put makeup on, dress up, order around, pet, moon over, sing to…a million little things…without checking with anyone else first.  You are your treasure.

There’s no real way to argue with this!  No matter how crappy things might be at this moment, or how you’re starting to feel like things might actually be changing for you for the better (they are, if you’re doing the Tools)…you still have YOU.

Go reach out your hand and pet your image in the mirror.

Now run your hand down your other arm – slowly and sweetly, and watch yourself in the mirror.  There’s no limit to how long and how lovingly you can do this…so you can never get bored or run out of parts of you to pet.

3. Say Thank You to the you in the mirror.  In fact – say “I love you.  Thank you.”  If you want to really try something, say “I love you.  I forgive you.  Thank you.”  If you want to try the whole thing…say “I love you.  I’m sorry.  I forgive you.  Thank you.”

That about covers any emotion you could be having – from beating yourself up over something, to getting all excited about yourself (good for you!!!)

Okay, yes, you can be thankful for the roof over your head, and that some of the needs on the Maslow scale are being met, and you can be thankful that you’re on track to get all the most fabulous of your needs met by the most fabulous man…but only if it feels good.  Only if it’s true.

If you’re actually angry as anything about something…go ahead and be thankful for that!  I mean – a good bit of fire in your belly, no matter where it came from or where it’s aimed is pretty grand, isn’t it?

If you’re actually feeling tearful and sorry for yourself – be thankful for that – because then you get to back and do numbers 1 through 3 here!

4. Imagine a fabulous man (and the only thing he has to have or do in order to be fabulous is to love YOU) – standing there around you – all the time – and HE’S saying Thank You.  To YOU.

I say Thank You to you.  You just are….so wonderful.  I’m so glad to have you in my life.

Love, Rori

184 Comments

  1.  #1Angeline on November 25, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    And thank YOU Rori.

    I’m so grateful for all that you’re teaching all of us.

    I just started using the riffing tool and I feel like it’s healing a split that happened between my boy and girl energy.

    I’ve started feeling like I can connect with my boy energy in a really positive way. I feel so loved and guided by him. He’s telling me to open up and expand because he wants to see me smile.

    I figure if I’m healing the split on the inside, I can find that type of love on the outside too!

    I feel a bit sad and sore in a releasing old stuff kind of way. I feel really grateful that you’re being real about the holidays not always being the happiest time for everyone. Much love to you!



  2.  #2laughing goddess on November 25, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    wow! Thank you Rori. I feel so touched reading this.



  3.  #3laughing goddess on November 25, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    I feel soft and melty.



  4.  #4alias girl on November 26, 2009 at 12:19 am

    thank you too, rori. and thank you sirens on the island and the men who crash these shores. xoxo

    i thank all for all.



  5.  #5Daria on November 26, 2009 at 2:52 am

    what if a woman was called fly boy.

    or lil horsefly boy

    horsefly boy

    would that make the woman feel masculine?

    maybe until she stepped into her feminine

    beautiful feminine lil horsefly boy

    heheh

    a goddess named horsefly boy



  6.  #6Daria on November 26, 2009 at 3:06 am

    Rori i felt so shocked after i saw the pyramid on that site. i felt terribly yucky and guilty but didnt even realize it until i started reading your post and you said the big ticket items are basically happiness and romance and joy and feeling good

    not having a roof

    and how some of us worry

    but i love how it felt so relieving to realize the big ticket items are happiness and romance and joy and not necessarily even shelter or even food gosh

    yes humans are not brutish creatures that first have food than have joy

    our big tickets items can happen even when we are struggling for necessities of eating they happen everyday all day just like breathing

    oh this feels so relieving and honoring of spirit and life

    thank you rori this feels very right on

    i dont feel down at the holidays

    holiday = festival = celebration so if it doesnt feel good i dont even notice it

    maybe cuz i dont live on clock time lol or on day of the calendar lol everyday is a weekend on my hawaiian style tropical island where i am currently residing think im kidding

    i feel teary eyes

    i feel tight tummy

    i am afraid of “letting it flow” cuz it will flow too fast and i will drop it

    it feels scary and i throw myself off rhythm when dancing

    and thats kinda cool now that i think about it

    (notice the im important belief kicking in)

    i feel tingled and tearied

    i feel cross ankled for feeling safe like a baby in a crib

    i feel wavy and swayi too the music

    i feel ok i overthrow

    i hurricane daria

    hurrrrr

    im lil horselfly boy

    and i have come to get you

    i feel a sigh from some part of me with no thoughts

    im so deep in my body now i can feel my kidneys

    this spot in the middle of my chest

    and on the right hand side of my lower stomach

    and now some pulleys in my cheekbones

    and throat constriction

    nose constriction

    squeeze under my tummy squeeze my nose and squint

    pinches in the middle of my spine

    hot in my side arms and my pinky

    i am
    feeling
    squeezed
    and p;inched all over

    evidently i am alive
    and i am glad
    now for being pinched all over

    yay for being alive
    and feeling

    i feel a lil relieved

    hormones are like gel
    surfing on my hormones
    im learning to ride the wave
    then go back and surf it some more

    it feels like taking off flying
    when im riding the wave
    beauty
    crashing behind me
    in blue paradise
    laid back
    sprinkly back drop
    of heaven rain
    to inhale
    cleaning my body
    from the inside out
    filling with air
    salt and water
    so alive
    so free
    so gustos
    you wanna dive right in it
    i free the sea
    in the middle of my chest
    to splash planetary cosmos liquid crashes
    of pure freedom
    and abandoned joy
    lost and drunk
    with blue water
    of soulface
    surfing the wave
    of my hormones
    i inahle
    the blue breath
    of the universe
    and it is just right
    for my heart to swell
    and feel glad safe and free
    seaworthy
    slapped by the water
    salty walloped
    body fresh
    on the sufboard
    of my hormones life
    i balance
    and sway
    blue goddess



  7.  #7Daria on November 26, 2009 at 3:26 am

    Fuck you maslow you dry man

    but thank you for trying

    i feel angry and limitied

    lets try again

    at least you started

    sorry maslow

    i feel teary

    and guilty

    thank you



  8.  #8Katja on November 26, 2009 at 4:51 am

    Thank you,Rori,for being in my life! 🙂

    And everybody else,too!



  9.  #9Simply Shannon on November 26, 2009 at 7:52 am

    Thank you Rori and all amazing Sirens! I feel such gratitude to be able to come here and find understanding and compassion and triggers and fear and anger and all of the emotions I can feel now!

    Happy Thanksgiving and many blessings to all of you! Shannon



  10.  #10Maria on November 26, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Thank You! Love it!



  11.  #11Katie on November 26, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    ‘Writing down 3 things that I’m grateful for’ – at end of day – thanks for that Rori. Being grateful – it makes everything seem special. It makes me feel more loving.



  12.  #12Daria on November 26, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    My secret Lefkoe stash:

    http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free/belief7a.php

    Im not capable



  13.  #13Daria on November 26, 2009 at 5:54 pm


  14.  #14Daria on November 26, 2009 at 5:55 pm


  15.  #15Daria on November 26, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    Welcome to a new non inadequate daria. wow. took this lil scene from my childhood and FINALLY came up with a new belief about it. it had been troubling me greatly.



  16.  #16Daria on November 26, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    wow. I found LEFKOE natural confidence online streaming and i bought it for 75 dollars a month, 3 months. (the other ones don’t seem available in streaming, natural confidence has ALL the beliefs and conditionings they have)

    So now I am about to LEFKOE myself hehehehe!

    omgosh i want to do people’s attention me feels scary conditioning , and belief

    yesterday my girl saw some guys she thought I’d like. shes like oooh look. then they noticed and came over and i was closer to them

    BUT

    i put my head donw ! 6 inches from the cute guys face and pretended to be into my phone…

    he was like take my number, but i ignored him and pretended he was talking to my girl next to me

    and then shes like oh i thought you were talking to her…

    *cuz she basically noticed them for me

    hes like no im talking to you (of course i was “fascinated’ by my phone)

    so she wound up getting his number, and giving him hers… (he tried to get hers)

    so sigh

    hehe

    i was like wow. i feel suprised and not surprised that i did that at the same time

    thats what i do when a cute guys attention is on me

    grrr

    now im gonna lefkoe so instead i want to smile and do 5 secs full eye contact yeeehheee

    im sooo looking forward to this

    btw Lefkoe offers FULL LIFETIME MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

    so i feel assured with this . I will have no shame right now askign for my money back and asking for support (probably ive already eliminated some belifes so im already feeling mucho better)

    shake that money maker! woo hoo!



  17.  #17MJ on November 26, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    I’m grateful for the sirens here, and rori’s daring wisdom.

    The man I am supposed to be moving in with was here for 2 days working on my house to fix it up to sell, which he has been doing a lot lately. He suddenly announced he was leaving to go back to his city last night at 9pm- I had just had my bath, we had a fire, and I was feeling vulnerable and sad because the day before my doctor told me I have to get tested for uterine cancer.

    He knew I was upset because I cried the night before about it.

    I told him I was surprised, and hurt. I started to cry. I told him to leave right away if he was going to leave.

    He hasn’t emailed or called today. He rarely makes the first move after an emotional upset.

    I have changed since discovering this site. I am fighting the impulse to contact him- I actually feel guilty because he doesn’t like ‘scenes’!!! I feel guilty because he worked so hard on my house! I am forcing myself to confront the truth- he can’t be there for me when I need him.

    I feel terribly sad. I will not contact him.

    I love me. I am trying to be grateful that I am being tested and will soon know more about my health.

    Thank you for listening, sirens. (What do you think?)



  18.  #18Daria on November 26, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    Hugs MJ. It sounds like you are strong.

    I feel sad for your sadness, protective, proud and glad of your decision.

    I love herbal and energy medicine or for my health.

    I just ordered a pound of red clover blossoms to make overnight big tea (infusion ala Susun Weed) it is supposed to be good for uterine and reproductive health, will be my first time trying it.



  19.  #19Daria on November 26, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    I hadn’t eliminated mistakes and failure are bad, (I actually kinda noticed it still coming up), and i did it again and this time i think i nailed it for real. hehe.

    yeah buddy!

    i feel mentally tired (wow that’s pretty infrequent for me im like THE MENTAL HULK)



  20.  #20MJ on November 26, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    thank you Daria! wish I could have a cup of tea with you!



  21.  #21Daria on November 26, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    I struggled eliminating the useful : Change is difficult and takes a long time.

    I do think i eliminated it but i still feel a lil confusion lol.

    however it seems to have worked.

    I also now quickly eliminated “What makes me good enough/important is having people think well of me”

    yay

    feeels fun



  22.  #22laughing goddess on November 26, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    Daria: I feel thrilled that you got Natural Confidence. I have been wanting to get it too. I feel anticipatory to hear your results.

    And thanks for the secret stash. This work feels profound…great in combination with Rori’s stuff.

    MJ: I feel hopeful for your health. And I feel supportive. I feel understanding if how hard it can be initially to completely lean back. I feel relieved that it gets easier and easier as time goes by.



  23.  #23laughing goddess on November 27, 2009 at 12:23 am

    I feel very relieved with how the Thanksgiving gathering went. I was feeling very nervous about going but I got myself in a solid mental space, went with a fun group of friends, engaged with people, laughed, had men approach me. When I would start to feel weird or find myself thinking about what J was doing I would use the pond/river tool. I majorly leaned back from him, he waved at me from across the room when he first got there, I didn’t go anywhere near where he was hanging out, just focused on connecting with whomever I was with. So then after a while he finds me and says “there you are! I’ve been looking for you. I thought you left”. I felt sweet hearing that he was looking for me. I feel his care and love for me so strongly which feels good but also a little confusing. He said he would call tomorrow.

    I feel surrendered and trusting RIGHT NOW. I feel teetering between the edge of hopefulness and utter despair. I am finding that this situation is affecting me less significantly than it would have in the past. I do find myself slipping into wanting to eat ice cream in my bathrobe and feel sorry for myself but it is less and less and I seem to be able to pull myself out of it quicker. That feels great.



  24.  #24alias girl on November 27, 2009 at 12:25 am

    “What makes me good enough/important is having people think well of me” – i totally am eliminating this belief!!!!

    also “As you are noticing that what you have intended has not yet occurred, what you are giving your attention to is the lack of that which you want. And as you give your attention to anything, you create more of it. And so your notice that it has not yet occurred creates more of it not yet occurring. Your notice of the lack creates more of the lack.” Abraham-Hicks

    now that i’ve mastered both of these things I am a brillionaire!!!!!!



  25.  #25laughing goddess on November 27, 2009 at 12:29 am

    I kept telling myself before and during the party “everything is going to work out for me regardless of what happens tonight. So I’m just going to take anything that may trigger me with a grain of salt. Nothing that happens tonight can change the fact that everything is going to work out for me.”

    And it really helped me to feel easy about things.

    I feel good knowing that everything is working out for me.



  26.  #26laughing goddess on November 27, 2009 at 12:32 am

    AG: I feel good knowing that everything is working out for you too. We are brilliant creators of yummy good feeling experiences.



  27.  #27alias girl on November 27, 2009 at 12:39 am

    yes laughing goddess. i feel very inspired by your staying on your happy ever after road. i believe everything is working out nicely for you and me and the other sirens on here. i feel so uplifted by this belief. i feel good. i feel good to read your progress and journey.



  28.  #28alias girl on November 27, 2009 at 12:41 am

    paula i feel very good to know you are ok. i feel good to know you are experiencing community with your neighbors and will savor the good food and dates and other non-flood-related things once you are able to get back to them. i feel peaceful knowing you are safe.



  29.  #29Daria on November 27, 2009 at 1:16 am

    ag I just eliminated that one. I REALLY KNOW i eliminated that one. Its fuckin awesome right now.

    IM just feeling fuckin energized and talking shit and feeling free to say what the fuck ever and feeling all open and fun with my parents and shit

    alias girl I LOVE YOU

    thank you for the wonderful stuff you wrote for me your words feel like the sea holding me up



  30.  #30Daria on November 27, 2009 at 1:19 am

    LG and AG –

    somethign that helps me once i’ve understood that everything is happening for the best and as it should LOA style…

    I just tell myself “relax” when stuff is not going my way… or when i find myself rushing or getting frustrated…

    and its been working , although reading it now i get a weird feeling that it may sound clunky

    but basically what is the point of not relaxing… getting tense is not gonna help me “do it better” actually getting relaxed will more likely pull me in the flow…



  31.  #31Daria on November 27, 2009 at 2:04 am

    omgosh… now with these new beliefs i feel so much more open to being vulnerable…

    i was thinking if one of the guys called me i would say ” oh it hurt my feelings… i thought you really liked me and i was starting to like you… and then i havent heard from you”

    while before i was just thinking… mm well forget about him hes a dumbass who doesnt like u

    now its like
    totally feels comfortable
    to tell him that i LIKED HIM

    wow

    yipeaiai

    confidence here i come
    ive done 10 of 19 beliefs tonite



  32.  #32Daria on November 27, 2009 at 3:12 am

    Thank you Jesus!

    Thank you Angels!

    this lefkoe method is like EFT belief change on steroids…

    yankee dooodle!!!!

    and im thinking up ways to apply it myself to some other beliefs and situations

    and i feel the energy releasing as i do this seemingly simple mental process…

    i am sighing, breathing, moving around, feelingmy chest and stomach spasm.

    gosh

    logical magic

    who wouldve thought



  33.  #33Tina on November 27, 2009 at 3:43 am

    Was it wrong for me to remind my date that I am going to continue dating other men?. We were out and he received a text message from a woman , she said something about his cousin is her boss, this was the second time she texted him, the first happened when I was not around, he told me. He also told me about this text he received, he said it was from a woman, I didnt say anything about it, until I was absolutely sure about how I was feeling about it. I was feeling annoyed that he told me and a bit jealousy , go figure. anyway, he said he really likes me. I said to him,I feel really awkward and I wasnt sure how I was feeling about the text, I just know that I dont like sharing my attention with other women or him telling me about the text. I further told him that I would continue dating other men and I just wanted to make that clear, I said my ‘forever man” wouldnt have strange women texting him 🙂 and I said I feel good about that 🙂 with a big smile. I smiled because I liked the way it made me feel, I felt happy , it made me happy, I threw in the fact that I was a Goddess, thats why I had the big grin and good feelings 🙂 anyway the rest of the night went good, he promised it would never happen again, and that he would take care of it. I told him I felt good dating him , I also told him time tells us much about each other and I feel good about that. He looked kinda concerned and his facial expression was twisted up. We did go fourwheeling all day,we ate, sang songs, then the phone call lol. We took the gun but didnt shoot any wild game , I wasnt feeling in the mood for load noises 🙂 was good to have it though, for wild beast atttacks lol. I do continue to get emails from my dating site but I only put little effort in my return emails. My neighbor is starting to “pay attention” but not maning up enough for me.



  34.  #34Tina on November 27, 2009 at 3:49 am

    I did allow my date to give me a shoulder rub in the truck haha, I did remind him of the no sex, he did agree but asked if he could unhook my bra *pink hehe, I said ok sure. He emailed me this afternoon and said if he I allowed him to continue rubbing my back he would still be doing it.



  35.  #35Daria on November 27, 2009 at 4:39 am

    ok now i found it easy to brush my hair… and then my spine was hurting so lo and behold i did my lil exercise
    i brushed and flossed

    it was effortless

    maybe cuz i just erased im not worthy

    one of these beliefs

    i got the energy to treat the goddess well

    gosh it was flowy i just found myself deciding to do it



  36.  #36Daria on November 27, 2009 at 4:44 am

    gosh tina … i feel so inspired by your dates, it always seem like you really naturally get so much romance from your dates

    i will now be inspiring that romance in my dates as i lefkoe myself out



  37.  #37Lola on November 27, 2009 at 5:06 am

    Hello Rori and every one on the site.

    I’m new but I have been following this site for a while now, and although we don’t do Thanksgiving here in the UK I feel very grateful to have found Rori’s site and tools and Mercedes’ site as well.

    I wanted to ask you all what you would do if you found out that your boyfriend had lied about something and continues to do so.

    He told me had only been married once and I have found out he had been married twice (I’m not sure if he is divorced now or not, but I know that he married 6 years ago and has had another relationship in between). I’m not sure that being married twice rather than once would have had any impact on me but the lie does. Of course I will be wondering what else he would lie to me about.

    We have had a roller coaster relationship (20 months) and it has begun to turn around because I have begun to work out what my boundaries are and apply them.

    He found it hard to live with me because I have children and my teenage son had been very difficult, often verbally abusive towards me since his father left and I was trying hard to deal with that. My boyfriend was becoming more and more critical and moody and pulling away – I felt manipulated and emotionally abused. Some of the things he did and said were quite shocking and hurtful but I felt too scared of losing him to put a stop to it.

    He kept changing his mind about whether he wanted to live with us or not. He kept storming off, wouldn’t discuss anything and letting me down. Although I can see his point of view because adapting to life with a family and children that aren’t yours isn’t easy, I couldn’t take it any more as I was always crying and it was interfering with my ability to parent and do my job and told I him we needed to go back to dating, when the children are not at home with me (once a week!).

    Things began to improve, I began stating my boundaries, things were looking up and bang! – Then I found out about the lie!

    MJ – I feel sorry that your didn’t know how to support you when you needed him.
    I’d love to have tea with all of you right now.



  38.  #38Tina on November 27, 2009 at 7:18 am

    I kinda like it Daria, it’s all about YOU its all about ME. Either that or he’s just blowing smoke up my butt, I love that “smoke em out” lol, I feel like a cowboy!



  39.  #39Tina on November 27, 2009 at 7:27 am

    and I want to have lots of fun with my date without the hassle of women texting:) I’m not even all that sure how I feel about him,he is fun and a little crazy though 🙂



  40.  #40Tina on November 27, 2009 at 7:40 am

    Daria, I love your writing! your drawings too



  41.  #41Linda on November 27, 2009 at 8:31 am

    Hi everyone.

    I like this post Rori, this is again a timely and grand reminder. It is easy to fall into old habits and patterns of behavior. Something that I dont want to do. I am thankful for my journey this year. It has been tough. But… I have grown so much. I get to be my best friend, I get to count on myself, I get to be there for me and protect myself. I trust me!… I trust myself !

    I have nothing but possibility in front of me. Learning from my experiences this year and the men that have dabbled around in my time warp has been good. I am thankful for all of it. The challanges and the feel goods. Used together they help manicure and fine tune what I want and will invite into my life.

    I am not “there” all the time, but sometimes I have profound moments of happiness. I feel like I have spent enough time looking at the “I dont wants” in life so intently that I miss the joy in the little moments that present themselves to me…..for example…. I was at a mans house the other night (he asked me to come over, eat dinner and be with him and his 8 year old daughter). Okay, I could be totally closed to this because, 1) I am not really physically attracted to this man, 2) he has an 8 year old and I dont want to raise anymore kids… 3) etc etc. Or… I could be open because, 1) this guy is open and genuine and asked me to eat dinner with them. I chose to go… and I ate dinner, I drew pictures with his daughter, we talked, laughed. and then did the thing that every “MOM” says you cant do… play ball in the house.! I literally was laughing. Genuniely felt happy, giggling and being goofy and…. smiling.

    I learned something important. I would have missed that fun time if I was closed because he (this man) does not line up with my total wish list. I am not saying “settle, or give up dreams” but… I am glad that I went, there was something that was healed in me. I feel more connected to me and more open to things around me. I feel more giving and soft and real.

    ——–

    I got an email entitled “Hurry up and wait”….from Mr Scrutiny,( the man who always told me I was not enough and did not have what he needs.)…. It said, “you sure look pretty all dolled up. Thought about you a lot today… what is going on with you”?…… I felt my feelings all of them. I know he is a little boy stuckin in a mans body.. I know he is self centered…. I know he doesnt want me really or he would be with me…. His words do not affect me, with hope, or what ifs or… finally he is going to step up….

    I wrote back. “Thinking about me?…. there is probably a pill you can take that will stop that. Odd title for your email.. whats up? We will see what he does with it. I am just happy to not have it carry any weight with me. I dont care if I hear from him, I just feel free from him.

    —————–

    I have a delicious curiosity about “playing in the leaves man”… we were suppose to got out Wed but he cancelled as the last minute, saying he had to get his kids for evening….It triggered me. I shared.., you know. “Being cancelled on is hard, I have experienced this before and it does not feel good, I was looking forward to it and I am disappointed”….” I want what you want… to be made a priority”. It opened the door to a good heart to heart talk… and more chemistry. WOW the kisses he gave me were incredible. ….. We will see what happens.

    I am thankful for this blog and a place to share and get feed back. I would not be where I am today without this forum and all of you sharing too.

    Hugs… Linda

    He is guarded but really checking me out. Thats okay. I am checking him out…. “I asked him,



  42.  #42Linda on November 27, 2009 at 8:36 am

    Ooops I forgot to delete the stuff under my closing… thats okay…… I was thinking about how guarded he is, some women have hurt him too….but he is really checking me out. Thats is okay I am checking him out too. lol… more thoughts on that later.

    Linda



  43.  #43Tina on November 27, 2009 at 8:46 am

    Linda thats awesome, so who is checking you out? the leaves man or dinner man? I know I look good hehe, thank you 🙂 I have another date with truck man, I didnt sleep last night at all, I tried but ill catch up later, he said i could sleep at his house but i said no, he then suggested he bring a pillow and blanket in case i fell asleep in the truck, i said ok thats fine, im going to this olympic torch thing, not sure what its called but the torch is passing by this town today, and i wanted to see it, but stayed up all night reading grrrr to much coffee, but im going to go anyway, its an hour there so ill sleep in the truck anyway. It’s a big deal so I want to see it.



  44.  #44Rori Raye on November 27, 2009 at 11:21 am

    Lola – Welcome! First, I’m thrilled that the Tools are working for you, that you feel stronger…so sorry you’ve had such a challenge with family and this man…and all I can say is…if you’ve come this far with this man, and turned things around, and if you’re doing well with your teenage son (he’s the key to all this, by the way…I’ve found with other clients that once they straighten out the relationship with difficult and troubled sons – figuring out how to switch hats from boy to girl with them, keeping boundaries and speaking like a girl….everything gets better) – you can do this! You can merely say to him what you’ve said to us here. The thing for you is to get your feelings and your emotions within your OWN world of comfort…(and you know how I feel about stopping all sugar as being a great starting point for getting emotions back on track…)…so that you can say how you happened to find out about the other marriage, that you don’t care what his life has been in the past, all you care about is openness and honesty and trust between you now…

    If he’s turned critical and moody – he’s ANGRY. You’re going to have to go there. Find out what it is, find your own emotions around that so you can communicate anger in your household without “drama.” This is a totally incredible learning experience for both of you in intimacy. If you can do this…everything can work. (Or – he may be the wrong man for you…and not enough for a goddess like you! – you have skills now to find out!) Love, Rori



  45.  #45laughing goddess on November 27, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Hey Daria: Do you wanna connect via email to work out the details of the meetup?



  46.  #46Daria on November 27, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    LG yes! –

    ummm okay lets see… how to do this… do you want to leave your email on one of my blog posts?

    then i can email you? (maybe even erase it later if you dont want it hanging out in my comment box.. soon as i figure out how to )

    or… what do you think?



  47.  #47Daria on November 27, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    lol u can actually Call me directly and anonymously from my blog, by clicking that telephone… then i can get your email that way…

    or…

    btw do you have AIM or MSN or yahoo messenger ? ive found thats a great way to connect and keep updated and work on collaborative stuff



  48.  #48Katie on November 27, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Hi Lola
    I am also newish to working with Rori’s tools and like you have been feeling like I am on a rollercoaster emotionally with a guy who gave me edited details of his life. A rift developed and maybe it can be mended, maybe not, but I am just learning to lean back and take care of myself (and my teenage son).

    There is such strength and wisdom here and it’s so good to feel connected. I am in UK too (in South West) so if you’re passing I can always put the kettle on!



  49.  #49alias girl on November 27, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    i feel uplifted and cheered by these references to tea and putting the kettle on. i feel tickled inside. 🙂

    i met a man online (long distance-whatever). he’s like “i’ll text u all day every day.” i was like: “ok”.

    hahahah. he wasn’t kidding! haha! i feel good though. i like the energy. and he’s sweet. and possibly cute. and i needn’t worry about anything longterm. i need only stay present ion my right now and circular date and enjoy the hot water in my shower. and enjoy lying naked, flopped on my bed. and enjoy the freedom from worry. and feel appreciation for my internet access and i feel good thanksgiving is over!



  50.  #50Daria on November 27, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Any Goddesses interested in the entire LEFKOE method,

    I would be willing to split the cost with you for the online streaming videos. I already have them and i feel comfortable (morality wise) it would be ok to share costs and chip in together.

    The total amount i am paying will be 225, so if we get one or a bunch of us it will go down dramatically. PS this is OVERNIGHT LIFECHANGING WORK. and you will FEEL it.

    Im on my second day and am almost all the way thru the program.

    I was thinking of offering it for free to you all since i paid for it (and thats ok if you REALLY couldn’t afford it – tell me wassup) but now since my confidence is building and I erased the belief “im not important” i seem to be ok with taking care of myself and split cost. hehe



  51.  #51Tina on November 27, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    Rori, this post is so appropriate to what I have wrote in my journal this morning. Thank you for writing this.

    I realized, strangely, whatever things I wanted in life but did not add any attachment, clinginess or frustration to it, I have received them, in time.

    For example,

    1. I wanted to have an iphone for a very long time, but now I have Nokia N97(similar functionality of an iphone) for which I am happy about.

    2. I love pink……even at this age(28), i love barbie collection, my dad gifted me a pink barbie CD player.

    3. I was imagining to connect with my old friend for the past 12 years, coincidently I met her in the flight and she recognized me.

    I feel so grateful, magical, surprised and happy when these things happen.

    Is that how everything works? Does this work in relationships as well. Because, the other person has his/her own intentions too, I wonder how it works in relationships?



  52.  #52alias girl on November 27, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    tina. i feel, YES!



  53.  #53laughing goddess on November 27, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    Daria: my email is laughinggoddess111@gmail.com

    I feel excited to hear from you!



  54.  #54Daria on November 27, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    LG –

    ok i will write you now…

    ohh I just realized I had my goddess mail address…

    any goddess can reach me at

    magicgoddessmedicinewoman@gmail.com



  55.  #55laughing goddess on November 27, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Incoming goddess to goddess email



  56.  #56Paula on November 27, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    I feel crazed! I feel so tired of this rain and these floods. I feel trapped. OK, I feel like I’ve had more than enough now Universe. I get the message – Get out of this country and this isolated life.

    Welcome Katie. Hope it’s not too wet in the South West.

    What’s the message from guy who doesn’t want to drive to meet me? Maybe it’s ‘I feel angry…’ I feel pleased that I’m making baby steps. I didn’t suggest that I go to meet him (his latest suggestion is that I get the train across his city).

    Guy who stood me up. He says sorry, he lost my number. BUT he had my email address. I still feel angry and humiliated but I haven’t responded yet. He ‘hopes to hear from me’. Well, maybe not.

    I feel despondant. Do feeling messages really work? Does expecting to be treated better mean that one day I will be? It feels impossible to express feelings with an angry man,

    I feel soggy….



  57.  #57Jennifer on November 27, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    Well goddesses. I went out to “room mate pool night” with my room mate. We drank some drinks and ate some chicken wings and talked to some men. Whom I immediately alienated. So that was fun.
    This guy my rommie has been seeing came over and was totally drunk. He let out some sort of crazy war whoop type deal and looked at me like he was all proud. So I said (with a smile on my face) “Wow…you managed to get quite an impressive volume there!”
    At which point he looked at me like I had sprouted a third head.
    This is why I have not done well with men in the past. They don’t understand me when I talk. Before I dated B I was at a party and one guy actually looked at me and said “what are you like smart or something?”
    Great.
    Now I feel like a social moron.



  58.  #58Daria on November 27, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    Aww Jennifer hugs!

    What are you like smart or something !! wow … thought that was only in movies … ha… i would feel grossed out and turned off fast



  59.  #59Daria on November 27, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    Hugs to soggy Paula…

    I do believe that yes expecting to be treated better and especially treating myself better will “work” and get me better treatment from other people.

    It’s working with my parents, and if they werent THE BIG ONE than I dono who is.

    Ps – it is also positively influencing the way they are treating each other.



  60.  #60Tina on November 27, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    I love that my date was so feeling generous today, he took me shopping then we saw the olympic torch welcome in his town. Men like to do this, men like to do this and I like it too! 🙂 I love presents! I slept in the truck on the way home with the blanket he brought with pillow.



  61.  #61alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 1:00 am

    tina i feel awesome reading about your torch date. it feels like a very sweet and cared for kind of vibe. 🙂

    paula. big hug and a dry blanket. yes,in my experience, feeling messages will brought me higher quality men.

    daria i felt confused about leftkoe today. he asks you to say outloud negative things about yourself and then says if you feel bad when you say that about yourself you are probably holding that negative belief and i thought OR maybe i just have a negative reaction to saying terrible things about myself. which to me seems healthy. what do you think? so then i felt skeptical and i stopped listening.

    lola welcome! i feel good you are here and learning rori’s tools. how would i feel if i found out my guy lied. it would depend. it would depend on what he lied about it. it would depend on how strong the relationship between us was.

    everybody lies at some point about something. most people lie because they are trying to maintain some sort of balance for themselves that they feel they can not maintain without lying. so i might ask myself, like you are asking…”how do i feel?” and work from there. who knows, i might feel indifferent to the fact that he lied to me.



  62.  #62alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 1:22 am

    i just made a smoothie and i added oatmeal to it and i liked it. yum. i think i might try and make a pumpkinish smoothie sometime soon. 🙂

    i seem to have this Thing going on in my vibration about “being tricked” when it comes to sex and men. i have a history of fearing men will pretend they want to be in a relationship when really what they want is sex. (has happened sometimes) and then i have the history of the men who didn’t do the pretending. they fell in love with me but didn’t want to be in a “relationship” (with anyone – ever- apparently as decades later they are still single) but just wanted sex. well, actually practically all the men i’ve had sex with have fallen in love with me. i should warn men about that. you know, hey if you’re planning on tricking me you are in for a surprise. Surprise!

    but still, i was texting with my text monster today (ALL DAY) and then he made some reference to his days off and driving up here and he asked if “i wanted to meet him or if he should just come to my place”

    and i had this huge trigger reaction and immediately checked in all my baggage on our boat he had been rowing so diligently. “blah blah blah i don’t want to be tricked blah blah if a man just wants sex i prefer he just tell me blah blah” and on. and on.

    and i seriously felt done. CAPITAL D. O. N. E. done.

    now i feel like he is tricking me. he is like ‘no no no no i want to get to know you. i’m not life that. we can have sex if the time comes that it’s right. etc.’

    but i don’t believe him. i don’t want to be tricked. i have felt like this my whole life. 🙁

    this seems to not have a lot to do with him. or maybe it does. maybe he’s just the next trickster in my set of tricksters.

    🙁

    my 22 (or wqs he 21? i forgot already!) was a trickster. ok but i picked up on that on our first day. but then i still was doubting my instincts.

    but still i feel this way about ALL MEN.

    i don’t know how to undo this belief. i need leftkoe after all. to undo this belief that:

    I AM ONLY WANTED OR DESIRABLE FOR SEX ONLY, NOTHING ELSE. IF A MAN ACTS LIKE HE WANTS SOMETHING ELSE IT IS ONLY BECAUSE HE IS TRYING TO TRICK ME. I AM NOT LOVEABLE IN THE LONG-TERM, ROMANCE, GODDESS, FAIRY TALE, HAPPY EVER AFTER SENSE. I WILL NEVER HAVE THAT BECAUSE I AM TAINTED GOODS.

    oh sadness. i feel sadness. i feel pouty lip. i feel teary eyes. i feel angry about my victim stance. i love my victim stance. I LOVE IT. I LOVE MY VICTIM STANCE. i don’t know why i would love that but i do. I love my victim stance FIERCELY. i love it. i love my fears and tightness around being loved. i love my suspciousness and skepticism that turns even good things sour. I LOVE IT. I LOVE MY FEELING OF BEING TAINTED AND TOXIC AND UNWORTHY! YES! i love every single part of me. every single bitty part that has developed for MY PROTECTION. that has developed out of LOVE FOR SELF.

    i love that i love myself so much that i would do whatever i thought i had to do to protect myself. even if it meant alienating EVERYBODY and keeping EVERYBODY away from me. I wanted to be alive and survive so badly that i was willing to PUSH EVERYBODY AWAY. that’s how much i love myself. and i just want to give myself props for putting myself first.

    thank you.



  63.  #63alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 1:30 am

    i love myself.



  64.  #64Flipper on November 28, 2009 at 4:53 am

    I love myself, too. Even if I froze the other day when that terrible, demeaning remark was made to me, and wasted my energy stuffing my feelings down instead of letting my anger come to the surface, I LOVE MYSELF and that I was Trying to protect myself that way. It ‘worked’ in the past, so naturally I have this habit and I feel grateful to myself, but NOW I DON’T NEED that kind of immature protection any more. I AM GROWN UP and IN POSSESSION OF MY FULL POWER so I can PROTECT MYSELF MUCH BETTER. My scaredy, hurt FEELINGS DO NOT MAKE ME WEAK, do Not disserve me. THEY MAKE ME STRONG. THEY SPARK ME TO DEFEND MYSELF EFFECTIVELY. I LOVE MY LOUSY FEELINGS. I DON’T WANT TO STUFF THEM DOWN. I want to revel in them and I INTEND TO USE THEM AS THE BEST SHIELD I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE. THEY ARE MY FEMININE ARM, that truly protects and advances me, BUT THEY NEVER DESTROY. I LOVE THIS ARM, I am learning to even love the word – it is losing it’s twisted meaning of weapon and returning to it’s true, original meaning of SOFT, PROTECTIVE, ALL-EMBRACING, COMFORTING, SHIELDING, EXPLORING, CARESSING, GRACEFUL, CREATIVE, WARM, POWERFUL, CRADLING ***ARMS***, all around me, supporting me, MINE – never failing ME.

    And they’re the best HUGGERS anywhere – all the Sirens are invited to share in my Powerful Hugs.



  65.  #65Jennifer on November 28, 2009 at 6:31 am

    Daria..
    Yeah me too. I guess a BBq may not have been the place to discuss anthropological diffusion ism in modern America.
    Or to point out that it is largely supported by the basic principles of capitalism.
    Who knew?



  66.  #66laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 8:50 am

    Hi AG: I feel intrigued by the question you asked of Daria re: the Leskoe work and I feel inspired to share my perspective. My understanding is that the reason he asks us to say the limiting belief outloud is to see if we have vibrational resonance with it…to see if it carries an emotional charge. For example, if I say “I have blue hair” it’s not going to carry any emotional charge (because I don’t have blue hair or any beliefs around it). That statement would feel neutral to me or maybe even funny. But if I say, “I’m not good enough” and I believe it to be true, I’m going to feel bad. By the end of session, if a person has successfully eliminated the belief, saying “I’m not good enough” will feel neutral or even silly because we no longer have vibrational resonance with it. The words are neutral. We only feel bad if we believe them to be true.

    The process reminds me of some of the Abraham Hicks work in the sense that we have to start where we are at…with whatever belief or emotion is alive in the moment and then consciously explore what it feels like to allow other beliefs or emotions in based on what feels better.

    I feel so passionate and excited about this!

    Tina: your date feels sweet to me. I feel thankful for the reminder that we often get what we want when we let go of any attachment or expectation. I had that experience about five years ago in regard to moving to Hawaii. I wrote in my journal that I wanted to live in Hawaii. I had a few specifications around what I wanted. Well I wrote this down and then forgot about it because it seemed like a long shot. It seemed so far away from where I was then. Well, less than a year later I was living in Hawaii doing the things I had written in my journal and I came across that entry and I felt so amazed because I really didn’t make any effort to get there. I just met the right person by chance who led me in the right place and it all unfolded so effortlessly. I had forgotten that I even wrote that wish down in my journal. It was so cool to come across it less than a year later and see how easily it had manifested. I think it happened so easily though because I had forgotten that I even asked for it and I wasn’t actively trying to “make it happen”. I was just going with the flow and that is where I ended up.

    Anyway Tina, thank you so much for the reminder!



  67.  #67laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 8:59 am

    Flipper: I feel such power in what you wrote. I feel beauty. I feel inspired. I feel love for your feminine hugging arm!



  68.  #68Simply Shannon on November 28, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Paula: Warm dry hugs being sent your way. Feeling messages do work but may not work on a man instantly or in the way that we think they will. The point is that *I* feel better when I’m honest about what I’m feeling. They work instantly on ME. Being true feels good! I never even paid attention to my feelings before. I never even knew if I felt good or bad about anything. I mean, I may have felt “bad” for a second but I quickly stuffed it down and told myself that feeling was ridiculous. So I have two choices… keep doing what I had been doing and expecting different results (which is also the definition of insanity 🙂 ) or try something different and be true to those feelings inside of me. Which one do you want to choose?

    Jennifer: What were you feeling when the guy did a crazy war whoop call? I actually felt okay (and amused) by what you said. Maybe he reacted to the tone, i.e. your words did not match your true feelings. Does that make sense? It feels good to have intelligent conversations. That doesn’t make me (or you) a social moron. I like to feel open when I listen to others thoughts and opinions. It does feel bad if I’m talking to someone, and they are clearly being condescending to me. I feel closed off and defensive when that happens. Does any of that ring true with you? I felt amused by your note to Daria about the BBQ, but also read into it a lot of sarcasm. Choosing to talk about a topic that I feel passionate about is GREAT. Using that topic to shut everyone else out (i.e. those who have no idea or interest in what I’m talking about) does not feel good. It feels isolating and defensive. I feel curious if any of that resonates with you.

    Tina: I love reading about your dates!

    Alias Girl: I feel curious because I feel so much empathy about the sex trickery thing. I have a lot of false beliefs around sex. Of course men want sex, but woman want sex too!! Maybe the trickery is that we try to believe sex isn’t what it’s all about anyway. We all want a connection down to the fiber of our being (and what is more connected at the basic level than sex). Some men are more honest about it then others. So maybe the ones that pretend they want MORE than just sex… that’s the real trickery? It feels good to be open to all men because *I* control my body. Just because a man wants to have sex with me doesn’t mean I feel comfortable doing it. If I wait to have sex, the men who are not truly interested in connecting with me simply lose interest and leave me alone (good thing). The truth is that even if a man comes at me only wanting sex, if I remain true to me, he may be drawn in like a moth to a flame and WANT forever with me. This is about me controlling the pace *I* want to go and only having sex when *I* know it would feel good to me. For me, this also includes not taking the discussion down a sexual path too soon (and I feel guilty of doing that a lot).

    I feel good my lovely Sirens! I’m going to watch some football today and go on a date with a HOT boy tonight. I have literally given up control about it. He told me what time, and I have refrained from asking where to meet him or if he’s going to pick me up. He’ll tell me when he wants me to know. 🙂 It feels good to let go of control. It feels exciting not knowing the plan. I know enough to feel comfortable and nothing more. It feels like a surprise. I can’t wait!



  69.  #69laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 9:06 am

    Jennifer: I feel laughter about the “smart” comment. That feels like a siily thing for a guy to say. But I also feel wondering if maybe the underlying message is that you were sharing “mind” stuff and not your heart and maybe that is why you aren’t feeling socially connected.



  70.  #70laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 9:14 am

    Awww SS: I was just thinking about you and wondering how you are doing…and there you are! I feel excited about your date! I feel excited about your surrender to mystery, intrigue, and surprise. It all sounds very fun!



  71.  #71Paula on November 28, 2009 at 9:46 am

    SS – Thanks. That feels right. I feel better and good and true when I use feeling messages. Sometimes, I have to slow down and decide what the feeling is. Sometimes, there is more than one feeling. I feel clear when I express one or two feelings to a man.

    He felt angry or annoyed but I’m not worried too much about what he felt when I was being authentic.

    Roll on quality men.

    Hey, the sun came out today so maybe by next week I’ll get back to civilisation…



  72.  #72laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 10:25 am

    Paula: sending wishes your way for sunny, dry weather, a return to civilization, and higher quality men coming your way! Feeling messages rock!



  73.  #73Katie on November 28, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Hey goddesses, what’s the best way to write a profile for a dating site? Thing is I’m a novice and need a rocking online diva to advise 🙂 Please.



  74.  #74Paula on November 28, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Hey Katie. Me too! I need advice on my online profile. I’d feel SO grateful if some sirens have examples.

    Thanks LG. Sunny and dry is not too common here. That’s why I feel like moving. Quality men are not too common either 🙂



  75.  #75laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 11:24 am

    Paula and Katie: I don’t know of any profile writing divas although I seem to remember Rori has someone speak about this on one of her programs. Can’t remember any names right now tho’. If I come across any I will let you know. I feel certain your beauty and goddessness will come through no matter what you write. 🙂



  76.  #76Linda on November 28, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    So delicious leaf man has not called and we talked about going out tonite. hmmmm I tried to call but he did not answer me. I wanted to honor what I said to him first but if he does not get back with me then, I will do something else. He is proving to be a disapointment. Not so delicious any more.

    Mr Scrutiny wrote me back…he took my bait this time. Told me all about him (which he loves to do) and… asked again what is going on with me. BOY.. I just had to feel through this one. I commented on his information he gave me and then told him I loved my new job, am enjoying life and found my mojo, easin’on doen the road. LOL Then I asked… {Why are you writing me?.. I have asked before, and you did not answer… “what is going on inside that head and heart of yours”…. Is this a test?… but are you its author? LOL
    I am playing with this one… he said I was clever, intelligent and insightful… you are damn right! lol He even told me where he was working (new but old place where he used to work)… I joked and said… oh you told me where you work now… so dangerous. Maybe he wants me to pop in on him… I wont but he will think about it for a second maybe even sweat or get a bit of a tingle…. I dont care though. I must say his words in the email seemed softer. Oh well, it means nothing. I am learning and have learned with him that it means nothing. I dont really matter to him but that does not matter either. What matters is that I matter to me!

    I got dinner man who wants to go out tonite, Ex bull rider texting me, wanting to meet me today I guess, leaf man who asked me out but I have not heard from and Mr Scruitny… buzzin around in email. Oh and an older date that pops in and calls me cutie, always wanting to know if I have found anybody yet. I am feeling pursued a bit. Maybe that is imaginary but then again who knows what will happen.

    Um… can you say Goddess. I tell you someone is gonna step up, right now it is dinner man in the lead.

    Hugs.. Linda



  77.  #77alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    flipper thank you. i feel such a depth of insight and compassion from you. x0x0 i feel good you are learning to embrace all your feelings too. 🙂

    “SOFT, PROTECTIVE, ALL-EMBRACING, COMFORTING, SHIELDING, EXPLORING, CARESSING, GRACEFUL, CREATIVE, WARM, POWERFUL, CRADLING ***ARMS***, all around me, supporting me, MINE – never failing ME”

    (i feel YES!)

    laughing goddess- ah yes i feel intrigued and interested in this different perspective of yours. hmm maybe i can open back up to leftkoe. i feel amused that he and his wife have the same accent. they both have good-feeling vibes. 🙂

    simply shannon thank you a thousand times. i feel very helped. tis true. just because a man wants to have sex well of course he does. so do i!!! but i had this trigger reaction in the past and i feel confident i can redo stuff and change my perspective on it. and “have my way” with the men in my life. this will be interesting. hmmm. argh. i feel heat in my body just writing about it. I seem to have some anger around this issue. i want sex but damn you if you want sex from me. but that’s not it. it’s when i feel that’s all they want. and pretty much, in the beginning that’s what men want it seems that is how they are built. so i can be angry at all men for how they are fundamentally and intrinsically made. or i can somehow make this factor Work For Me. and “have my way” with men. thank you. 😉 now i feel a little embarrassed and guilty for all the times i was triggered by this in the past. i feel bad for men i lashed out at for just being men. argh. ok. well this will be fun to get rid of this big trigger. yae!

    oh and have fun on your HOT date, SS!

    paula i feel good the sun shone on you today. ahhh yes. i feel a little relief from he drippy wetness.

    paula and katie as far as online profiles, i have experimented with different profiles because i just kind of like to experiment with human nature. but rori goes over creating an online profile in her program. Targeting Mr Right. i believe she suggests some feeling messages. a good photo. maybe even some of your ‘happy ever after’ of what you want? i forget.

    thank you sirens for your support. i feel really helped and appreciative.



  78.  #78Simply Shannon on November 28, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    Real quick before I get ready for my date…

    AG: Boy voice: Don’t you dare get mad at yourself for feeling what you felt!!! It’s still your feelings. You feel that way for a reason. Maybe you don’t feel safe or whatever you need to feel and sex is just the trigger and so you’ve associated those bad feelings with “sex” but maybe it wasn’t the real reason. Don’t brush your feelings off. They are all valid! (((HUGS))) Okay, girl voice: It feels good to be open and see what it is that is triggering us and use it for good (kind of like wonder woman). I never have to compromise myself. A man can just want sex all he wants. It’s not what I want and I control my body. I only invite in my body those quality men who I feel safe with. That’s my boundary. As long as I live by that boundary it doesn’t matter what HE is doing.

    Katie: I’m going to post my online profile for you so that you can see it. I just changed it recently and I’m getting a LOT of response. it’s different. You’ll have to decide if it feels like “you”. Post next… Actually I’ll post my old one too and you can take from both. 🙂



  79.  #79Simply Shannon on November 28, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    Old profile…

    My goal this summer has been to go to the beach at least once a month. I feel proud to say I’m more than reaching my goal! There’s nothing quite like sand between your toes, the surf’s song in your ears, and sunshine on your body. One day I will have a beach house.

    As for me, I feel beautiful and sexy in a pair of heels and a dress. I like to be silly but I know when to be serious. I am blessed to be called mommy by two amazing boys. I cherish their laughter, their enthusiasm and their energy! As soon as I get off work, we are outside playing or at the pool. I love going on trips. (See beach comments above.) I just went tent camping on the intercoastal waterway. Pluff mud anyone? I’m a sucker for white Christmas lights. Downtown Greenville is great for catching a baseball game, dinner and drinks with friends, or just walking around. I also love relaxing at home. One of my favorite places to be in the evenings is on my screened porch, sitting in my swing.

    As for you, I want an honest man. Just be you. I want someone who knows how to have fun in any situation. I’m not perfect (shhh – don’t tell anyone!), and I don’t expect you to be either. I am looking for a long term relationship but I want to get to know you first!

    Interested? Send me an email and let’s see what happens…



  80.  #80Simply Shannon on November 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    New profile (idea stolen from Jason Savage aka Gone Savage who used to post here)…

    Rather than tell you my life story, I feel excited to share some of the things that make me feel happy.

    My Simple Pleasures:

    laughing til your mouth hurts
    happy hour
    dancing
    the smell of the ocean
    slow kisses
    a great pair of heels
    an inspiring church service
    the crack of a well hit baseball
    my children’s laughter
    a cherry Icee
    chopsticks
    old friends
    watching my children sleep
    the cool side of a pillow
    a man who leads
    a spa pedicure
    the first day of summer
    the last day of summer
    a great book
    surprises
    white Christmas lights
    a four leaf clover
    an ice cold beer
    a cozy bed
    unapologetic honesty
    vulnerability
    prayer
    true love
    unbridled affection

    What’s on your list? It would feel great to hear from you…



  81.  #81laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    I feel really good today. I got dressed up and took myself out on a lunch date. I feel amazed by how much better and confident I feel when I take the time to dress in a way that feels cute to me and spend time doing my hair, etc. I live in a small town and it’s pretty much guaranteed that I will run into someone I know whenever I go out. Often I just run out of the house without putting much effort into making sure I look and smell good and then I run into someone I know and I feel awkward and uncomfortable or I will see a cute man but won’t feel confident to flirt. So…one of the gifts I am going to give to myself is to spend more time nurturing myself, adorning myself, cultivating and celebrating my beauty. I feel inspired by J’s cat. She never overfunctions. She rests when she wants to, and spends lots of time grooming herself, and she is just so irresistible that one can’t help but want to give her affection. She is my role model.

    An interesting thing happened today. So, I was feeling like I really wanted to go on an adventure. So I just got ready to go out…acting as if I had fun plans. I felt trusting that if I made myself available, the universe would present me with something fun to do. Then I left the house with an open mind not really knowing where I was headed or what I was going to do. Then, as soon as I got in the car, this guy called. I am pretty sure he is interested in me. He hasn’t said anything super direct yet. I get the feeling he is feeling me out to see if I am open to going out with him. I WAS sort of open initially but as I am getting to know him, I feel very turned off by how much he talks. He just talks and talks. I feel totally disconnected when he does this. I try to listen but its like he is giving a speech when he talks. It doesn’t feel like there is any space for me to participate. I actually feel tortured and painful when I am around him.

    It would feel so great if I could just tell him that…but I haven’t. I feel scared of what his reaction would be. Also, he has a really negative, complaining side that I don’t want to be around.

    Sooooo goddesses, here is my question.

    I feel confused because part of me sees the synchronicity in him calling right as I was ready to go out. I had the feeling the universe would present an opportunity to me as soon as I got ready. I feel worried that I didn’t do the right thing by ignoring his call. But…I really don’t enjoy being around him and I have zero desire to hang out with him.

    I dunno if I should have taken the risk and just gone out with him or if I did the right thing by trusting my feelings and proceeding to take myself out.

    What do you all think?



  82.  #82alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    thank you simply shannon. i really feel i am letting go of this big THING that has held me back. and yes, indeed, it does, again, have to do with safety. interesting. i feel excited! yae! I AM IN CONTROL OF MY BODY. NOTHING (I MEAN NOTHING!) GETS IN MY VIBRATION, MY BODY OR MY LIFE WITHOUT MY SAY SO. tada. excellent. AH i actually feel like wonder woman!! haha!! i feel like huggin you!

    and great profiles by the way. i like both of them. if i were a man i would feel very enticed to know and date the goddess author of those profiles!! thanks for sharing.

    🙂 i feel slightly beaming. i could go to paula’s edge of the world and beam down on her and dry her flooded town.



  83.  #83laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    SS: I like reading your profiles. Thanks for sharing them!

    I really felt connected to you and felt your femininity…particularly in the first one. I felt intrigued and drawn to you 😉



  84.  #84laughing goddess on November 28, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    Nice AG! I feel really happy that you brought that up about men wanting sex. I feel a deeper understanding of the subject for myself now too. I love how we are all learning from each other.

    I can feel your beams radiating all the way out here!



  85.  #85alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    laughing goddess i feel i would have done the best thing for me by not taking his call.

    if i feel bad around someone consistently then it’s not their fault, it’s just something is not lining up. now yes i could focus on the lovely aspects of this person and just focus focus focus on whatever it is that is lovely and then this person will either show up as the loveliness that i am calling forth or that person will completely drop out of my zone altogether without me having to do anything.

    there have been times i have felt very GREAT AND UP and just wanted to SHARE it with someone. and i would pick a downer kind of person who would actually bring me back down. so in a way i was punishing myself (like i had learned as a child) for feeling so great.

    it could be totally different for you. you know, anything can turn around. depressed people get happy. complaining people become cheerleaders. so all i can say is how do you feel?

    how did you feel by not taking his call?

    or sometimes i will experiment and take the call and if it starts going south i will end it quickly.

    or sometimes i just don’t want to risk losing my buzz with someone who has been a consistent buzz kill in the past.

    🙂

    I feel lovely. 🙂

    today i am taking care of business because that is what i feel called to do.

    🙂

    I feel smiley. hopeful. appreciative.



  86.  #86alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    ooooh i feel so excited. i feel like i can let more men in now because I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE, VIBRATION AND BODY.

    They can want me all they want. They can be flipping all over themselves wanting sex. it’s really not my concern. my big lean back job is to have my way with them.

    😉

    do you hear all that splashing? oh my goodness, it is men crashing on my shore.

    lovely.
    lovely.
    alias girl.



  87.  #87alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    hahaha have my way with men. have my way with the world.

    🙂

    this mastermind group is really spectacular!



  88.  #88Jennifer on November 28, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    Simply Shannon:
    thanks for you insights.
    The war whoop startled me but then he looked so proud of it that I was trying to say something nice.
    The Bbq convo started out with a couple of guys talking about the fact that in the area we were in they have to decide between English and Spanish at the ATM. (I was in the states visiting…that’s common here in Canada but it’s English and French.) so I said “I read an article by an anthropologist about diffusionism in Modern America and he was talking about that sort of thing. But I think it’s defiantly boosted by capitalism.”
    Then came the blank looks. Then the “what are you smart” comment
    I really felt like I was going to be contributing to the conversation with that comment. But I guess not so much.
    As for the sarcasm….yes, it is a defense mechanism. I’m working on that.
    🙂



  89.  #89Jennifer on November 28, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    whoops ……meant to say definitely NOT defiantly…..



  90.  #90Flipper on November 28, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Jennifer – maybe that was the moment to end with a Rori touch ‘what do you think?’, and while they were rooting around for whatever that could be (duh, gotta find an idea to please the lady after all) you’d have had time to switch hats and slither into your soup for a feeling to share (oh I was just feeling curious about your reaction…..).

    Oh, I love this. Imprint, imprint: how to backtrack and save the day (maybe – worth an experiment anyway) – I’m ALWAYS going off into intellectual mode, and tho’ I sometimes do get that stimulating conversation, which excites ME, I soon see there’s no connection happening between their brains and parts south.

    What do you think?



  91.  #91Simply Shannon on November 28, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    So I feel pissed right now. Hot Date boy stood me up. Seriously? This still happens? Hello, it’s called send me a msg, aka common courtesy. Guess that’s what I get for not asking for specific plans. 🙂 Nah. I still feel good about not asking for all the details. He told me what time and I was ready then, but no word from him.

    Frog exiting stage left…

    Gonna attempt to find something else to do now. Blech. That’s what I feel pissed about, not him specifically but about someone being so rude about MY time.

    Jennifer: “Well yes, I do feel smart. Better watch out because the ol’ brain is firing on all cylinders today. [smile] Wow, I feel thirsty from all that brain activity. [smile]” And hopefully someone will chime in and offer to buy you a drink. 🙂 Maybe the guys just didn’t “get” what you were saying and were covering it by saying something about you being smart. No harm, no foul. Being a girl doesn’t mean playing dumb but sometimes you gotta help the boys out when they aren’t firing on all cylinders. Allows them to recover without looking like an idiot. Ya know?

    Okay, off to find some entertainment. 🙂



  92.  #92alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    what happened was

    that i learned and took on other people’s beliefs as a child. i received energy from them (often negative) and made conclusions and was told what was “true” about the world according to the (bigger) people when i was a small, vulnerable person.

    I just adopted other people’s beliefs and was told what they thought was “true”

    but “truth” —is just a thought turned to a belief. a thought turned into a belief that i told myself over and over and over and over again. and then i gathered data from my experiences that would fit my “truth” of the world.

    okeeeee….

    🙂

    ok, open up trash dumpster because i am about to dump some old beliefs that are not at all true in my paradigm anymore.

    say waaaaaaaaaht?

    pssssh…

    ah yes, what a lovely view out here on the edge of new thought.

    simply shannon. you are a goddess.

    there are so many men. so many good good yummy men who will really step up and row and want to please you and assure you and be with you and want to make specific plans that make you feel cared for.

    (ie see tina’s torch date above)

    maybe the guy even had a good reason. maybe not. but why ask why? if he’s not in front of you, he doesn’t exist.

    i hope you have a smashing time and feel lovely and self-loving and goddessey the whole night through. i hope your evening turns out so great that you feel APPRECIATIVE that he never followed up.

    🙂



  93.  #93Jennifer on November 28, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    feelings, feelings, feelings…..
    Getting a little swamped with insecurity.
    I love my insecurity.
    It’s Sat night and I’m home alone. Watching Family Guy. I keep thinking B is out having fun with some other woman. But then my brain kicks in and says “Yeah … but YOU broke up with HIM so you don’t really have a right to be upset”
    Brain is right but feelings don’t care.
    I feel afraid.
    What if men never talk to me?
    I’m allergic to cats…I can’t even be the cat lady.
    What if there ARE no men?
    Brain knows that’s not true but Feelings don’t.
    I love my feelings of fear. I love my feelings of insecurity. I love them. I love blogging about them and not eating my way through them.
    I remember being at the bar last night…
    I was uncomfortable all night. But I stuffed it. Maybe I came off sarcastic when I didn’t mean to.
    At the Bbq I was exhausted (I had driven 10 hours to go to my cousin’s wedding the next day) maybe I DID come off condescending.
    I feel bad.
    Do I feel so bad about ME that I “pre-reject” men?
    I feel teary about that idea.
    I feel a weight in my chest.
    I feel sad.
    I don’t know what to do now.
    Maybe some EFT.
    Thank God we’re out of ice cream.



  94.  #94alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    ok my fellow goddesses… i want to make a GRAND ANNOUNCEMENT

    A GRAND SIREN ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE ISLAND.

    this is top secret and yet POTENT information

    ok.

    here is my new THING to be as goddess

    ok. since i now have the sex trigger dealt with and am feeling pretty open and goddessey about that

    my new THING (rori’s been saying this since forever and even developed a whole program around it entitled, Targeting Mr Right)

    but brand new to me is my new way of being

    ALL THESE CUTIE PIES ARE IN LIKE FLYNN

    do you see? i keep turning them away because they were not pleasing

    hahahahahahahaha but now I AM HAVING MY WAY WITH THEM.

    ALL OF THEM.

    AND THEY LOVE ME HAVING MY WAY WITH THEM. AND THEY LOVE TO BE IN THE CROWD OF OTHER CUTIE PIE SUITORS UNDER MY CASTLE WINDOW. DO YOU SEE? THEY LOVE IT.

    they might gripe and feel inadequate and wonder how they measure up and rrr rrrr rrrr they will tell you.

    hahaha BUT They LOVE IT.

    and i just need to let the men send me their energy and stop sending them away. hahahahahahahahaaaaaaa

    haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahaha!

    Yes. this is the ticket to full goddessness for me.

    let them stumble and fall and text as a first form of communication. and let me share my feelings. and if they come back. GOOD FOR THEM AND GOOD FOR ME!!!! hahahahahaha

    is anyone getting this? because this is HUGE! HUGE!



  95.  #95alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    I FEEL UNDEFEATABLE! I FEEL LIKE THE WONDER-GODDESSWOMAN!

    yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!

    ah the world is wide open and giving giving giving to me.

    i feel receptive. i feel appreciating.

    🙂



  96.  #96Tina on November 28, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Five day coffee man sent me a message he said “god bless you” I sent a note back saying “thank you , I feel blessed” I’m not sure what that was about but I do feel annoyed by his comment.



  97.  #97Tina on November 28, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    I do feel blessed. I have not tried the steps above, I will though. I do something similiar to it. 🙂



  98.  #98Tina on November 28, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    I feel like yippidooda!



  99.  #99alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    i feel blessed too tina. i feel blessed you and all the sirens are here on siren island!!!!!!



  100.  #100alias girl on November 28, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    and i feel blessed for my clean car!
    and my pretty pink polished toenails and fingernails!
    and for good food!
    and fun music playing!
    and clean laundry!
    and hunkering down and getting what i wanted to get done today —with JOY!!!

    🙂

    oh, yes and the cutie pie heaven!



  101.  #101Daria on November 29, 2009 at 12:16 am

    I ran thru lefkoe Im inadequate

    besides my parents i used the situation with the boy when we were 5 and he liked another girl.

    duh im not inadequate. he might have throught that but he was wrong.

    I feel clear.

    I still have some more stuff i wanna clear on that situation.

    maybe… im not attractive…

    ha

    i feel proud of myself that i was able to do the exercise using the lil boy instead of just the parents as they were saying on the video

    cuz i had “inadequate” feelings and thats what was coming up for me as the source



  102.  #102laughing goddess on November 29, 2009 at 1:19 am

    I feel happy and proud of you daria! What a relief you must feel after letting go of that one.



  103.  #103Daria on November 29, 2009 at 3:27 am

    omgosh you dont even know

    before i write about it i want to record some other beliefs i want to erase

    im not talented

    i depend on my parents for my survival
    i can’t take care of myself

    i am not naturally in tune with my body
    im not natural/real/authentic

    im not attractive. im not feminine. im not sexual. its dangerous to be sexual. im not sexy.

    im not alive
    im not magical

    im not a goddess.



  104.  #104Daria on November 29, 2009 at 3:40 am

    ok i feel teary eyed and squeezy in my tummy to say that i love lefkoe method.

    no well what i want to say is i feel its sooo important that i tell you that it worked for me and i feeel soooo good that i feel wowed by and i feel alll anxious to share i feel like i want to share this good feeling with everyone and i feel afraid that i cant because

    no because

    i feel afraid that i cant … i feel afraid that people wont listen to me…

    i dont convince people

    i gotta redo people dont want to hear what i have to say

    or what i have to say is not important

    orrr

    people arent interested in what im interested in
    which would be
    people arent interested in what i have to GIVE
    or information i have to give
    aha
    that was on the backfixbodywork site guy’s site

    i will find it ane eliminate it hehe

    lefkoe method makes my body spasm hehe

    as my body readjust with my minds enormous amounts of energy wave and smooth jerk my body like a mermaid

    i am transforming
    legs to tail or
    i am coming anew out of sea splash white bubbles
    and champagne rose colored to salmon strawberry slices

    i froth an my pussy is crush fruluscious
    crush crush icey escapade
    scape goat beetles an blue horned nematoads
    vampire pussy
    like blood begotten burner children
    suck in the middle of the nite
    behind closed doors
    on the interstate highway
    she moans

    and moist blood flows down the trickle or her throat



  105.  #105Daria on November 29, 2009 at 4:29 am

    grr i couldnt find it

    maybe something like

    people arent interested in what i have to offer
    people arent interested in the information i have

    yeah something like that

    i am way interested with working with backfixbodywork guy to release all the stuff out my body even the inner layers so i can get not just the outer stuff thats already part of my life better but the inner stuff i am not even conscious i have… pluse free up my body sum more yum



  106.  #106Daria on November 29, 2009 at 4:49 am

    im definitely redoing im never gonna get what i want with

    im NOT gonna get what i want

    it keeps comign up for me! i havent even written how i felt tonite with a man!

    it feels like the tape in my head is clear…!! so the ones that DO come up are much clearer (like im not gonna get what i want)

    and otherwise its just chillaxing!

    even my daydreams are GOOD now! like my exes are all nice to me and good stuff is just happening in my automatic head stories

    plus with a man i feel no STRESS not worried about him, totally about me,

    feels like being in camp at like 11 when i wasnt really concerned about boys like that

    and just saying whatever

    lol

    i told this man my mind is telling a story to me

    cuz it WAS!

    lol and i was interested in it (in my head)

    but then when i said what was going on it brought me in my body
    and he said wow youre crazy

    but it was cool

    to me

    and its like im not worried about getting rejected as much

    i just feel different
    safer
    more important
    like im more me with stronger boundaries and just
    me

    like
    im very cool no matter what
    like this is me
    daria
    and thats u
    calvin
    and
    thats cool
    and im chilling in this car
    and thats cool
    and its cool
    cuz the images in my head are all good
    and i can chill

    even at the end we kinda got in an argument and he was like well im gonna go home
    and i was like ok

    i did NOT feel rejected.

    even tho i thought well this seems like im being rejected
    but WHOA i dont feel anxiety or badness
    i just feel like oh ok chillywilly

    umm
    yes
    this shit works
    it rocks

    buy it women!

    i am going to become an affiliate so you can buy it from me

    right now i still offer that you jump in and split the cost with me and i will give you my log in and password

    but you dont have to

    its just amazing

    its like soothing almost all the nvs

    so now theyre just coming up with nice shit to say in the background

    and i have no… diminishing effect feeling…

    im just stuck feeling good
    lol
    poor me
    lol
    sarcasm
    hahaaaaa

    hahahhhaahaaaa

    i did it
    i brainwashed myself into feeling good

    bruhahhahaa

    no jk
    its actually all logical and sense making as any goddess that has tried it will tell u

    and im here to tell you that the program worked
    its like having worked out and now you have a super hot body and youre like whoa i used to like
    have a not super hot body but now
    when i look in the mirror i look super hot
    and no matter how much i look i STILL look super hot lol its not changing

    well its like that but for my mind lol

    aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrhwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeehaaaah

    it feels good

    yummy good

    i got about 1/10 as tense when my mom yelled at me for going out… and she actually tried to make a big deal out of it… but i was like feeling GOOD. my mind didnt even want to think about it once i was out the door.!! except to remark how positive i felt

    omgosh

    this fuckin rocks
    this is what i was looking for

    i feel safe!
    i feel safe
    i feel safe
    i feel safe
    omgoddddd
    yesyesyes
    thank u
    all this joy is tiring me out lol

    goshwow

    i just say whatever the fuck i want to people
    just like my heroines in musicals
    like im in bye bye birdie
    ijust say what i want
    and its naturallly cool
    because im self possessed

    im self possessed
    im self posesesed
    im self possesesed

    im self possesssesd like maya angelou

    i dont have to scream or talk real loud

    i can be prim and proper and ladylike and think very highly of myself and naturally be important and quietly attractive to all men because of my natural femininity and self possessed femininty makes me automatically fuckin cool with a big fuckin on my cool ahhhhhhhhh

    gangstalicious paradise

    im in love with myself
    my fingers are doing a celebratory dance
    im feeling good good good intensely good

    and i have a feeling this is my baseline feeling

    oh halelujah i have tears squeezing out the inner corner of my eyes
    from feeoling good
    and the top of my triangle is sqquezing
    ha
    im a major mutherfuckin poet
    like whaaaa

    i cna do what i wanna do
    say what i wanna say

    oh yah

    give it to me baby
    aha
    aha

    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    can u imagine the men i will be feeling good around???????
    jesus the thought feels overwhelmingly pleasureable all the way down my spine to in my diaphragm i am squeezing it all out down to my turmyyy



  107.  #107Tina on November 29, 2009 at 5:23 am

    A little drama at karaoke night
    It was my turn to sing, I was feeling pretty rockstarish, until this woman grabbed my mic and wanted to sing lol, she said it was her fav song and wanted to sing it with me, I said no, you can sing it if you want, she handed me the mic and I put it down, I said go ahead, then I changed my mind and picked up the mic, she then grabbed the other mic, like wTF! lol, so the dj had asked me if I wanted to sing, I said ill wait, he told her to go sit down.I was with my date and he saw the whole thing go down lol. The vib in the bar changed really quickly, no fight broke out but was tense, then I was playing pool and my date is checking out two women’s asss’ like wtf! Cream pie , cream pie creampie,I walked like a goddess to get a drink (diet something) I walked pass 4 20 yr.olds of course they were checking out my ass too, I gazed 5 secs they smiled, I smiled I came back to my date he wasnt smiling, nor did he ass gaze anymore. I continued playing pool, my mind went to cream pie yummy pie(Rori Raye tool) the girl then starts dancing around me like wtf! I could feel her energy aggressive. I go outside by myself leaving my date and agressive girl and I start to feel ok again. I didnt feel intimidated just um like I need to leave for a few minutes. My date asked me if I was feeling ok, I said no Im not, I feel bad about being bullied and I didnt get to sing my song, I didnt mention the ass gazing thing. I just said to myself “I feel jeaousy yah! – you know the rest, anyway, we leave and he said that the night was different from all the other nights or times we spent together. He said oh that girl I wouldnt have let her get near you or start a fight. I said oh you think she was trying to start a fight, he said hell ya, that he started to feel tense. I thought it was just me but yeah I guess he felt it too. I never brought up the ass gazing at all, we did have a long convo later in the truck driving around backroads in the woods and drinking coffee. I dont know how this convo started but somewhere I threw in, I dont like sharing my attention or time with other females I would feel jealous and I dont like feeling jealous, it feels awful 🙂 I thought I handled myself in Goddess form 🙂 he said he wouldnt do anything to provoke or try to make me feel jealous, I just said , I am jealous person, I dont like feeling that way, he said its ok, he is too , he said he wouldnt tell me though, because he’s a man , he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek but i think he wanted to plant one on my lips , I paniced and ran in the house, saying good night!



  108.  #108Flipper on November 29, 2009 at 6:08 am

    Oh AG, I feel so glad you can let those guys in now and Have Your Way With Them. I feel reassured that you now Know What Your Way Is, and can just allow it to BE. Those are some lucky guys, your cutie pies, in for some of the best stuff in their lives, even if that’s only a nod from you in some cases.



  109.  #109Flipper on November 29, 2009 at 6:15 am

    I feel a lot of asschecking is so automatic it doesn’t even register with the perp: straight down from the eyes to the adjustable trunk handle – do not pass brain, do not avoid $200 goddess fine. I feel forgiving, but it helps that I’m usually oblivious to seeing asschecking and worse.



  110.  #110Tina on November 29, 2009 at 6:51 am

    lol flipper, your right ass checking is automatic 🙂 mic stealing isnt cool 🙁



  111.  #111Flipper on November 29, 2009 at 7:01 am

    Nope – but I feel good your singing didn’t get wasted on that crowd. I feel sure they’ll give you triple time next night out to make up for it. (When you gonna send us a link where we hear You, Rocksta’tina ?)



  112.  #112Linda on November 29, 2009 at 7:16 am

    I dont feel Goddessey this morning. I feel stuck, like I am forever gonna be stuck in my old skin. I want out. I need something sharp to puncture this barrier that is completely holding me back from breaking free. I have this visual of my skin stretched to its max and am pushing it further but it just has not ripped to release me. I want to break thru , totally shed this “old” me and run free.

    I have changed so many things in me. I feel better but I am still stuck because I am not getting or attracting into my life what I want…. I dont feel successful and still held back or stuck because in spite of everything that has changed inside and out of me. My results are the same.

    For example… the men buzzing around me right now.

    1).. Ex bull rider, begged me for a second chance for days. I was very vocal and told him how I felt and that how he treated me was not acceptible…. he said he understood. He said he wanted to meet me sooner than later, said he would call me yesterday when he got done selling wood. UM…. no call, a text telling me he went out with friends and left his phone at home. OMG what is up with people. He is texting me this morning but I dont give a Sh*t.

    2)..Yummy Leaf man… after our heart to heart on Wednesday and my telling him I did not feel he wanted to hear from me because he does not answer my phone calls or respond to texts that he invited me to make… he ignored me yesterday and stood me up for our proposed date last night….

    3) Dinner guy… i went out with him for dinner last night. He is so nice to me but I dont feel any chemistry with him….. ugh he is quality friend material.

    4) Mr Scrutiny… emailed me back. Told me that he considers me his friend and what was between us was good and right…. WTF!!! He does not have a clue how to me my friend. He said he had no desire to burn a bridge in any type of relationship that was good for him.
    UM… HELLO!… it was not good for me! All he did was reject me. Tell me that I was not enough, now he wants to maintain friendship? It makes me want to SCREAM. He ignored me, my emails, when I did finally respond to him he, was flippent and uncaring… That is not my standard of friendship at all. Today he is going to get a email spelling it all out…. I DO NOT CONSIDER HIM A FRIEND and there was NEVER a bridge built called friendship because he would not let there be one.

    So changing my behavior, speaking up, stating my piece, not inviting or allowing men into my life that dont respect or respond to what I say, has not made a difference at all. THe results are the same. I may be stronger, but no one steps up or changes or REALLY pursues me.

    HOW in the heck do you get the relationship you want really. sigh



  113.  #113Paula on November 29, 2009 at 7:56 am

    I LOVE your profile SS. Thanks. I feel like I know you much better on reading it.

    I feel protective of you Jennifer.

    I feel better today.



  114.  #114Daria on November 29, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    omgosh… coconut oil on its own almost made me gag (again), but in my smoothie its freakin delicious!!!

    yes!!!



  115.  #115Daria on November 29, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    Daria’s smoothie:

    one pear, applecider vineger, honey (beg formula for digestion)

    today added about 5 handfuls bunch of spinach (for greeness)

    2 tablespoons virgin coconut oil (for fat that replaces deposited fat)

    2 tablespoons hemp seeds (for protein apparently)

    like one 1 tablespoon chia seed ( for chia seed properties, endurance, and keeping hydrated etc)

    OK YUM

    it tastes like milky honey kiwi!

    kinda thick, could add water or raw milk, but this way rocks for me



  116.  #116Daria on November 29, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    note DO NOT PRETASTE COCCONUT OIL



  117.  #117Lola on November 29, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Rori

    Thanks you so much for your words – I feel very inspired by them.

    As I was going to spend the weekend with my boyfriend I made the decision to let the lie/marriage issue go unless I felt really moved to mention it (for instance if it was getting in the way of me relaxing and enjoying the weekend.)

    Surprisingly it didn’t and I had a lovely weekend with my boyfriend and I practiced leaning back the whole time and I think it was the best weekend we have ever spent together!!! I have lost this sense of panic that I used to get even when things were going well and I would sabotage it because I felt I wanted all the answers there and then as to where we were going!

    I will definitely talk to him about the lie/marriage thing in terms of how that is his past and I am only concerned with honesty and trust between us.

    I do feel very afraid of his anger though, as I do also with my son’s and I often feel on eggshells with both of them (I used to feel like this with my dad too: ()

    But he does listen to me now, whereas he used to close down the conversation if he didn’t like what he was hearing.

    It’s good to be here on the site!

    Lola
    Xxx



  118.  #118Lola on November 29, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Katie

    It sounds likes we are in a really similar place (and geographically!!) I’m originally from Wiltshire and have friends in North Devon so might be round for that cuppa!!! And if you’re ever in London…

    I will look out for your posts!
    Xxx



  119.  #119Lola on November 29, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    Alias girl

    Thanks for your welcome!
    What you said really clicked – You are right everyone lies at some point and everyone reacts differently to being lied to depending on the circumstances. I think he probably lied to make himself look as if he wasn’t the type to rush into commitments and make his past look more straightforward.
    I also thought I would feel weird when I saw him but I felt OK though I want him to know that value honesty above image!
    Thanks – that made me think beyond my initial reaction!

    xxx



  120.  #120tinque on November 29, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    Lola – Welcome.
    Lying is a funny thing. People often lie not to be intentionally deceptive or to necessarily keep things from you in order to keep other doors open. People lie often out of fear, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment being BIG ones. They can also lie with the thought of protecting another. This ties back to the fear thing though.
    So his lying is not necessarily a negative. As you get to know each other more and more and as you make it clear that you prefer honesty above all else, he will feel safer opening to you, especially the more he sees that it’s okay to do so, that you won’t freak out on him.
    xxoo



  121.  #121Tina on November 29, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Linda, It’s whats suppose to happen, I mean circular dating , the types of men who are attracted to you, I’m not sure about you but for me,it’s been a teaching, like what is it that I am sending out, my vibe all that. I know its discouraging. I feel jealous feelings with men I’m not attracted to lol, so what does that tell me? well I shouldnt say not attracted he is fun to hang around with, he’s very generous with stuff hehe, i like that a lot! he really listens to what I’m saying and most importantly I feel heard 🙂 I do remember somewhere back in one of my posts, that I wanted to be the pretty one lol, 1 1/2 year man was very handsome , something was lacking, i dunno, a personality maybe? doesnt matter, I felt always leaning forward, in Rori’s words, he was “outgirling” me lol. He would lean forward on occasion but I did the leaning forward mostly. I had rules about calling men, like NEVER CALL A MAN, NEVER SPEND TIME AT HIS HOUSE. I didnt know why I made these rules , I thought I was just feeling like a bitch, just little rules but I stumbled on this site and it was like oh I see, hm.

    I catch myself doing things, saying things, masculine energy type things, when I do I immediately stop.

    I have jealous feelings whether I’m attracted to a man or not, says a lot about me, it’s great, I love it haha. I love the email about “vote for me” like when feelings of jealousy come up. A year ago I would have completely given up, like there was something terribly wrong with me, like I was defective somehow, I’ll just be a miserable bitch for the rest of my life. I would have acted out in a negative way, I suppose.

    I dunno why your post triggered me to write all that but yeah, dont give up 🙂



  122.  #122Tina on November 29, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Oh flipper I do hehe, I will I will I cant say for sure when though. My son says i can borrow his cell phone hehe, why do i not have one? everyone else, my kids have one but not me, lol.



  123.  #123Nikita on November 29, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    I used the “kiss” and it felt amazing…..I could feel his engine……getting louder and more powerful…..I melted and it was so clear he was leading everything…I felt almost lazy….but still responsive…..melty kiss was marvelous!!!!

    I think it helped him “feel himself” if that’s possible…



  124.  #124Tracy on November 29, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Wow,
    Alias,
    Love the idea of dumping my old eliefs especially the negative ones….
    I realised that i have alot of i am not good enough….I need to work extra hard to get what i want…life is unfair…
    I am watching myself and how i react to situations and its amazing how someof these beliefs pop up unconsiously
    I love that am learning so much about myself….It feels good to know my good and not so good self….I feel more at peace now



  125.  #125Tracy on November 29, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    I went for a function over the weekend and i leaned back and i had two guyz checkin me out…
    One even came up and complimented my dress….the other guy though was the one i felt more attracted to…he gave me a ride home…i felt really good hanging out with him…i was abit high but i kept calm….
    Today morning i was remembering the whole thing and i felt afraid that maybe the ride guy doesn’t like me so much…i feel intrigued by him though…i feel interested in getting to know him….
    This time i want to imagine how it would be like to go out on a real date with him,how that would feel,what i would wear,the stuff we would do…..i want to imagine how it would feel to date this other guy as well….
    I feel happy that i am receiving affection and attention and i am attracting men i feel attractive….yay!



  126.  #126Tracy on November 29, 2009 at 11:25 pm

    It feels good to practise bing attracted to a guy but knowing and allowing other options to come up and receiving these options….
    it feels like good practise of leaning back and allowing the right guy to come forward….i feel god thinking about it this way….I feel the fear of loosing out if i lean back and allow other men to come in…i know that this because i feel afraid that maybe i am not good enough…i want to feel attractive and alluring and irresistable to my guy….it feel much better when he steps up and commits to us having a good loving relationship!



  127.  #127Tina on November 30, 2009 at 1:04 am

    I feel bad, he ruined my sexual sensual intimate relationship “forever” fantasy/reality. damnit oh well. We talked about sex off and on, just enough for me to be open to the discussion of sex. He asked me how I felt about it, I said of course I wouldnt be open to having sex with him at this point, we chatted some more, he asked again, then I asked him what he thought” he sent a detailed description of what he wanted to do lol. I was like oh yeah ok, so I sent him some links about tantric sex,sensual massage that sort of thing anyway, we discussed that, I was actually starting to feel turned on lol, then he mentions other women , I dont remember what he specifically said, I just didnt feel um special after that lol. oh crap then he got all mad at me for saying that I was starting to not feel good about him bringing up other women he may have had preformed certain massages with grrr. Fade in scratched record sound*



  128.  #128Tina on November 30, 2009 at 1:07 am

    This is truckman Ive been dating for three weeks. I really like things this way , I can do and say whatever I feel with a man now not later, it is a time saver a life saver, thank you Universe for bringing these lovely Goddess in to my life 🙂



  129.  #129Tracy on November 30, 2009 at 1:59 am

    Tina,
    Amen to that….i feel so energized and happy with my life….I feel grateful for all the advice and knowledge i have emersed…i feel blessed.thank you..



  130.  #130Tina on November 30, 2009 at 7:17 am

    I feel a little unhappy about my chat with truck man, well kinda…
    He did say I was “making” him feel like he was walking on eggshells, I dont see it though, I thought we were having a pleasant conversation about sex and sensuality. I’m searching through my list of feeling words, um yes, I feel doubt, I’m doubting myself , oh crap, oh no, uh uh lol. I trust myself and my feelings, I trust my feelings, doubt sucks but ok. I feel it’s inappropriate to talk to me about sex and then mention “other women” lol, I suppose I could have drove it home and told him I give great blow jobs ask the men I’ve been with 🙂 like whaaaaaaaa? but that just feels wronge,



  131.  #131Linda on November 30, 2009 at 7:50 am

    Tina: thanks for you comment, sorry I triggered you but triggers are not bad things really. If you are like me I use them now to as a flag to stop and discover what is going on inside me, decide what is going on, and how to respond. Oh… and make any adjustments inside and out if I need to.

    So I wrote Mr Scrutiny back. I dont think he will like it. I dont care. What I said and actually sending it made me feel like I took all my power back from him! It was empowering. I dont know if I will hear from him, it doesnt matter though. I left him with a choice. It is gonna be my way on my terms if there is interaction. I just feel so empowered.

    Yummy leaf man did not contact me or return any of my attempts to contact him. I wrote him and said that I needed to return a book to him and would leave it on his doorknob. I also added that I did not figure that he would just ignore me but it is what it is!… I really liked him but again respecting me it priority one for me.

    Ex bull rider called me finally. We talked for quite a while. He appologized to me agian. He said that he liked that fact that I was a mature, strong woman and had her life together. He said he respected that and that he would never tell me he would do something and not do it…. well maybe he will learn how to treat a Goddess.

    After all… if I dont treat myself Goddessey then no one else will. right?

    Linda



  132.  #132Tina on November 30, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Linda your too kind, I would have thrown the book in the garbage. ok maybe not right away, but I would have given him a grace period then chucked it! Truck man took me off his “favs list” lol, I feel angry lol really kinda mixed about it but yeah. I feel passive agressive, he took a pic of me when we were out on a date, and I used it as my main profile pic lol. fck it!



  133.  #133Tina on November 30, 2009 at 8:15 am

    ‘truck man” just sent me two off line messages to call him, I’m not 🙂 I’m going back in my shell, well with my pc and coffee. I’m still shaking my head over our convo.



  134.  #134Linda on November 30, 2009 at 10:03 am

    Tina… men love to talk about sex. They will call everytime. You go girl.



  135.  #135Linda on November 30, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    I am at work today. I feel irritated. I am so glad that I wrote what I did to Mr Scrutiny. I took my power back from him. I feel so good about that, but why do I feel irritated at him. Maybe because he did not write back. Oh well, why did I think that it would matter or I might matter.

    Linda



  136.  #136Mercedes on November 30, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    Been too long since I’ve read here! 🙁

    Just have time to subscribe today…but also wanted to take a minute to thank you Lola for the lovely comment.

    Much Love,
    Mercedes



  137.  #137gina on November 30, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    I feel so glad to finally be back online!!! it was almost a whole week without internet and i felt so restless and anxious without it. Speaking of restless and anxious, I’m going NUTS!

    I had Johnny in a good spot in my head – it was sorta tough, cause we had sex a month ago, and I haven’t heard his voice or seen him since. He texted and emailed for a while – mostly about how he’s not having any luck finding a job, and he’s very depressed. After not hearing from him for a few days, I texted “johnny johnny bo bonny” – he texted back “gina gina ta tina :)” and when I didn’t hear anything else, I was thinkin’ well he’s no fun, and it’ll be good to hear from him when he’s ready. But then a friend asked about him, and I shared that I had felt pressured to have sex with him, and that it feels like crap that he didn’t follow through by continuing to pursue me. Once I started talking about this, I began to feel increasingly worse. Then the next day, my mom asked if I had heard from him. I said no, and she was like “oh, well then it’s definitely over!” and then she went on and on about how he probably has a girlfriend or maybe he’s a player, or he’s just depressed and not functional – and in any case, she says, that I do not want him. “he’s not normal”, and it sounds to her like “he’s full of crap.” After this conversation, I felt super crappy. Then, when i didn’t hear from him at all on Thanksgiving, she was like “see? he’s not even a friend!” She thinks it’s possible that he’s just going through a rough time and is completely depressed (but even then, why doesn’t he just go get ANY job?), but her intuition is that he’s a liar, and by the sounds of him, he reminds her of Scott Peterson (the guy who murdered his wife!!) My roommate has been saying a version of the same thing. And I feel SO triggered.

    I wonder if all this anxiety I feel is really about my concern that he’s a sociopath, or am I avoiding my own feelings. I know it doesn’t really matter if he’s a sociopath, since he’s not contacting me anyway. And yet some part of me is attached to the idea that he could come around and be prince charming. And, in the case that I do hear from him, I feel very unsure of what to do: what about the fact that he put pressure on for sex and then didn’t follow through? And not contacting me on Thanksgiving? Is he officially BAD yet, or is it still not clear?? I hate the fact that it’s not clear!!!



  138.  #138Flipper on November 30, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    Gina, I’m feeling bad for you at any rate. As you said, officially (dyed-in-the wool sociopath, genuinely depressed…), it doesn’t matter. Up close and personal, among your crappy feelings – isn’t that where you’ll find Your truth?

    I “know” we’re supposed to get to the point that we’re feeling so good about ourselves and are so busy, involved, passionate about all sorts of things, that We Don’t Care if So-n-so flakes or What’sisname takes off with Whozit, but it sorta feels like ‘Not Caring’ is the goal, and that feels lousy and not very motivating.



  139.  #139alias girl on November 30, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    i believe the goal is to be excited about my life and have enough men sending me energy that it’s just not a big deal about one guy who’s not rowing.

    as lily tomlin said, the trick is to “not mind” it. and i translate that as to literally NOT PUT MY MIND ON IT. which could translate to “who cares” but not intentionally.

    my goal as goddess is to put my mind on good feeling things.

    i don’t believe rori is teaching us “not to care” as a tool or goal.

    finding things i am excited about is my goal!



  140.  #140Katie on November 30, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    Flipper – I know what you are saying about ‘not caring’ being not very motivating. I have been finding the switching attention back onto my life hard to do. Some days I seem to have really moved on then others I feel i’m back on the obsessing groove and that doesn’t feel good!

    AG – I like your reply, it feels positive and right. It is about being excited about my life. Then if mr flakey sits up and takes notice that MIGHT be a bonus, but then he’ll have to join the Q amongst all the other positive stuff going on.



  141.  #141Daria on November 30, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    this is gonna be so strange i feel weird typing about it

    im the throes of ickness

    umm
    so very weird but

    i dont even wanna write about it

    my mind is readjusting and it decided to

    show me my belief im disgusting

    it showed me horrible disgusting cruel things and it was telling me im worthless and that these things turn me on… and they WERE turning me on

    it was really weird and after i felt gross and scared and icky

    i am getting over it somewhat now but im still feeling shaken

    it was very strange

    i am very aware of my body and i guess my body and mind is still readjusting to the new me

    and so i can feel energy and am much better at letting it flow instead of cutting it off

    ie feeling my feelings

    so my feeling said to shake in bed like wave wave wave

    and i did that like a wiggle shake for like 20 straight minutes…

    it was like… one of those trauma release thingies you see

    and i kept feeling it the energy in my body and just moving as it felt good to move

    until at one point i just stopped

    so after 20 minutes there was this blissful silence in my body

    ummm

    and then thats when the weird stuff started coming up

    so yeah

    it was scary and weird

    i feel like theres a horrible child molester torturer disgusting monster man inside me

    and it was torturing me too

    it was so weird

    i tried to love it but honestly i had to get out of there fast

    then ive been feeling gross and icky for the paast hour or so

    after that

    i dono waht this is all about

    im gonna approach it as this monster guy needs healing and thats why it came up

    i asked it him and he said yes

    so yeah

    ummm
    it felt really gross and scary

    im glad im recovering from it

    it was just thinking of EVERYTHING THAT COULD BE THE MOST DISGUSTING THING IN THE WORLD

    it was gross

    i mean everything

    umm

    i feel

    quiet teary small gross sad helpless and nauseaus

    i also had a lot to drink last nite so that could be the nauseousneesss tooo

    well im interested in contacting the lefkoe ppl to see if they can do “im disgusting” with me

    or “im a sexually deviant monster”

    i think this came from when i was a lil kid and we pulled this lil girls pants down who was younger than us. then i felt really guilty

    also i used to fantasize about tying naked kids to columns in a basement and whipping them and stuff
    this was when i was a lil kid, like 4 or 5

    its either some past life stuff or else i read in a book about women getting tied to trees and whipped and so i took it from there and changed it

    i feel weird

    im just feeling weird and all shaken up

    i feel more like accepting of the world tho like all the weird scary shit people write or make movies or make pornos or wahtever

    like the ppl who eat shit and stuff

    so yeah

    i feel gross

    i dont want to eat shit and stuff or have sex with animals

    i think thats why this is coming up to heal itslef whatever it is

    i feel so weird and small and hunched and icky like violated and humiliated and tiny tryna protect whats left of me and afraid and numb

    i feel so weird

    so weird



  142.  #142Nikita on November 30, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    I don’t tell my mother about my dating life. She has had a history of poo pooing on my party…..and when the party ends…she would-I told you SO..AND POO POO SOME MORE……I will update her as to where the wedding is being held….AND THAT IS ALL…

    hugs Gina



  143.  #143Daria on November 30, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    AG I would like it if you Lefkoe too with me.

    Not because I want you to go thru what I just felt above because I think i just wave shook that out of myself.

    Because other than that the Lefkoe thing fuckin rocks. I wouldve never actually been able to wave shake myself because I wouldn’t have been able to follow my feelings pre lefkoe. I would’ve had thought that wouldve made me feel bad and iterrupt my feleing good movement.

    I just have been adjusting my thinking is just not attacking me as much anymore. And when it is its stuff i can notice and heal.

    like this im disgusting thing. I will heal this.

    and the other things ive noticed.

    and the way i felt when i heard my parents talking this morning (I cried).

    I feel like im living in a different dimension now and I want you Alias Girl to live here with me.

    I thought of writing this pre wave disgust thingy and now I Feel worried that it will sound unnattractive – still gonna crak that belief too.

    but yes i am obviously dealing with some hella difficult to feel things right now but

    I still want to have you lefkoe with me cuz i want you to feel the awesome good stuff ive been feeling and the whoas.



  144.  #144Daria on November 30, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    I am a powerful being to be able to face all this stuff.



  145.  #145laughing goddess on November 30, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Yes yes yes! When I think of “not caring” I feel bored and lousy. What I am realizing tho’ is then when I start to feel sad or obsessive about a man, it’s a sign that I need to reconnect with god and my own self love and my love for him. When I start to feel angry with him for not calling or asking me out, I remind myself that what I really want in that moment is to FEEL love…to give it and receive it and I CAN do that right this moment. I can love him and appreciate him and focus on how sweet he is even tho he isn’t calling as much as I would like. He is just responding to MY vibration that I am putting out. I don’t need to do or say anything to change his behaviour. I only have to change my own and he won’t be able to help bit respond. How could anyone resist someone who is consistently putting out a loving vibe, who is taking responsibility for their own happiness, who is creating a fun, magnificant life against all the odds. A man cannot resist that…and I know that my man won’t. I know he loves me, I know know know with all my heart that he loves me. He is just a mirror, a reflection, of the love I hold for myself. I knownthat it is inevitable that he will see that I am the prize. I’m not worried about it. I trust that I will get what I want. I trust that the universe is lining evrything up right now and that what I want will manifest into being amy moment. It could happen now or now or now. In the meantime I will use this space as an opportunity to connect with god in his/her other manifestations. Love and beauty surround me in every moment if I choose to see it. He is but one example of the myriad ways god interacts with me. I don’t want to be myopic and see him as the only good thing in my life. I don’t want to depend on his presence to feel connection and love. I want be tap in to my own source of joy, part of which comes from loving him. And I can live him regardless of what the outside circumstances look like. Unconditional love, for myself, for god’s creation, for him, for all of it. I am in control of my own vibration.



  146.  #146Daria on November 30, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    I want help

    thank u

    i feel small and shaky and afriad



  147.  #147alias girl on November 30, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    i had a dream last night that i was hugging mariah carey. not in a lesbian way (and i have nothing against lesbianism, it just wasn’t in that way) but more of a BFF way. 🙂

    ah mariah can give me divatude tips.

    i am going to be pals with mariah and kanye. haha.

    daria i would love to meet you in a new dimension if that dimension feels like perfect health and good energy and love and acceptance and courage and dreams coming true and good sex and lovely suitors and a wonderful home and spending my life, time and energy in pursuits that excite and energize me.

    is that this new dimension you speak of?

    does it include pop star diva abilities magically infused into my being?

    what do you think?

    and yeah gina i’m with nikita. i personally would stop sharing parts of my life with people that only have negativity to give back.

    which reminds me, i applied for an AWESOME freaking job today. i have to say that just the fact that these bizarro job opps are showing up in my reality feels very very good and i feel i am on a good path.

    daria i send you comforting vibes in your vulnerable state.



  148.  #148laughing goddess on November 30, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Daria: I just saw your posts and I feel protective of you. I want you to feel okay with yourself, and at ease. I want you to know that you are not disgusting or a pervert. That is just a vibration and you tuned your channel to it for a moment and you realized it didn’t feel good. It’s not who you are. It’s just a “place” that you visited for a second. You didn’t hurt anyone. You are a fabuluous living blessed human being. A moment of ickiness doesn’t change that.



  149.  #149alias girl on November 30, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    haha i had a man online just kind of

    uh

    not

    really

    rowing

    but he would say “hi” whenever he was online and carry on a short conversation and then wanting to bring the convo to sex. and then he would just stop emailing whenever he felt like it in the middle of a conversation. so he did this a couple of times and i was like ew.

    today he wrote: “hi”

    and i told him i felt uninspired. and he asked what i was up to and i told him i didn’t want pen pals.

    haha he wrote back that he didn’t know what i meant by “pen pals” and wished me good luck.

    and then BLOCKED ME. hahahaha HE BLOCKED ME from responding back. i feel amused. i feel SO MUCH OF HIS ENERGY TOWARDS ME from that. more energy than i had felt the whole time. more of a sign that he might have actually been interested more than he let on.

    haha. i swear i can still feel his energy now and this happened hours ago. i kind of bet he contacts me again. that’s what happened to a couple of other men who BLOCKED me for little reason other than me telling my feelings and don’t wants. and then they would come back. to my castle window.

    🙂

    oh and long-distance-text-monster asked me to please stop ignoring his texts. and i texted that i didn’t want to text but felt open to phone calls.

    i’ve heard nothing more from him.

    but still i have my cutie pie heaven in full force AND i am not sending these men away. even if they BLOCK me hehehe.



  150.  #150laughing goddess on November 30, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    I like that perspective AG. It feels good. It feels empowering. I feel believe that you are right on. As long as you don’t block you, nobody else can.



  151.  #151alias girl on November 30, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    thanks laughing goddess. i feel supported in a very positive way.

    i also feel very Yes and Right On when i read your post up above (the one that says it could happen now or now or now.) 🙂

    🙂



  152.  #152Daria on November 30, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    AG yes the dimension i am in is more like

    I am Bigger

    and Stronger

    energetically

    i am filling up more of my energetic space.

    I am feeling happy. today i was in bed remembering how intimacy felt

    not sexual but

    when me and my cousin were young every summer we slept in the same bed, and went out and met men everynite cuz they would come visit us to see us and we would then spend all nite talking about every detail of how we felt and what it was like with thse men

    and then the next day we would wake up knowing that we were about to meet men again and do it all again and it was fun

    and i felt that again by myself in my bed this morning

    it felt freakin awesome

    i also realized i have some I’m second best beliefs that i form with some of my friends.

    liek today inthe club when a man was checkign me out i would send out the “What are you doing checking me out, cant you see my hot friend is standing right next to me SHE is the HOT one” and i was like whoa

    ive done this since with my cousin one summer all ofa sudden she was cool and fashionable and i was dorky

    so i made some beliefs at that time

    also perhaps i made a LOT of beliefs about what im like and what is attractive dealing with that 5 year old rejection thingy

    i freakin realized how much it just paralllels the way guy with a baby is

    so freakin crazy

    im just ahaing thru life

    thank you LG

    i do believe that this is a part of me and not just a place i visited. i did tune into it, in fact i purposelly did and because of my new abilities to allow myself feel thanks to LEFKO i rode out the whole amazing and gross ride

    i am actually starting to see the empowerment of having less fear of gross stuff and also having a weird pshcho torturer killer be on my side (cuz i asked him to, when i did my very quick “stranger” visit to him after the episode).

    It did not feel good at all when i was being attacked verbally by him in my head tho. actually no the weird thing is it DID feel good and it turned me on. and that felt weird and confusing and icky.
    but then it didnt really turn me on anymore so that feels a lil reassuring

    this is actualy important for me because i was tryna heal a certain something and now i see its tied to another certain something and its all tied to “the dark side of humanity” which i just allowed myself to witness in my minds eye full blast to where simply he could not think up anything possibly more grosser to show me. so i felt kinda powerful that i witnessed and actually RAN OUT of gross things to witness.

    um yeah
    .

    i guess im in the process of healing something i didnt really have access to before. its like a “im disgusting” feeling and self loathing in a gross powerless way. liek the kinda feeling that i can see how someone having it for any extended period of time would maybe commit suicide (im not im just saying if i didnt know i was in the process of healing it and i just felt stuck with it i might feel that way).

    it was like two feelings/people, torturer and tortured person too. blah. so “deep” and not the kinda deep i usually like to face.

    although some people do like disgusting sex or stuff i may think is disgusting. and that all connected in to what i was showing. so i feel like whoa more accepting of the world and also of myself.

    i also no longer think im weird that i got turned on watchign people have sex with animals before. it just happend, it doesnt mean anything about me (this was what was troubling me initially). After what i seen in my mind trip thingy sex with animals is VERY benign. like not even a 2 on the gross scale of what i saw.



  153.  #153Daria on November 30, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    i know im writing very tmi things.

    another thing is for some reason i seem to have a belief that masturbation is gross so i guess when i would try it all these weird things might come up and also i would feel gross and throw up like in my tummy (which i am better able to release thanks to my new powers of being in my body)

    so this was all related to that. i have perhaps released this out of the outer layers of my body down there

    cuz i did that whole wave shaky thing before all this stuff came up



  154.  #154Lola on November 30, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Mercedes:
    Hope you’ve had a good time away and you’re very welcome!

    Tinque:
    Thanks for the welcome and I was very interested in your take on it. After the initial disappointment I started to ask myself what the intention was behind the lie – I think he just wanted to present a cleaner image of himself.

    Gina:
    I love how you tell your story! I’m sorry he didn’t get in touch over Thanksgiving. I have a couple of friends who, when I tell them something negative about my boyfriend get so carried away with it and where it may lead that I end up feeling very confused about what my original feelings were. It’s out of love and protection and it’s like they want me to feel the pain now rather something worse down the line.

    AG and Flipper:
    I felt today for the first time in a long time that I was able to focus clearly on the stuff around me: my little girl’s new haircut, her and her friend chattering as they ate their dinner, my grumpy teenage son saying ‘love you’ before he hung up the phone. I’m sure these things have been going on around me but it was as if I was feeling them for the first time in a long time. I think this is the road to not exactly ‘not caring’ but letting go and living again…



  155.  #155Daria on November 30, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    also when i was young a dog came and licked my leg and perhaps also my underwear and i was terrified and screaming but the man who had the dog was not getting him. i was thinking maybe he trained the dog to do that or something i felt angry at him cuz he was jsut standing there staring at me and i had a fleeting thatought that hes like enjoying this

    so then i went home to my grandma and was like eww crying a dog licked me and she was like where and i was like on my legs and she looked and she looked at me “weird” and then i felt like my tummy drop and felt “weird” too like i was gross or tainted or disgusting

    so i think i have an “im disgusting i attract dogs thing” and thats what i had just asked to heal and BEEN trying to for years even tho it seems like a lil thingy it has bugged me for the past years

    so now like i said i just saw all this stuff and was like ok im getting turned on by this but i saw so much more weird stuff that realized that im not really deviant or into dogs but rather this is some OTHER thing going on with me that is tied into other stuff

    maybe its a past life thingy like the trauma release guy said… some kinda cellular memory stuck in my body…

    the way to release that is to shake out the body and release the energy

    and basically what i just did was some VERY VIGOROUS wave shaking that shook the whole core of myself till when i ended i didnt even ‘feel’ my body i felt quiet bliss

    sooo this must be some inner stuff shaking out it wants to be healed thank you for coming up for healing

    it felt scary thank you

    it felt icky thnak you

    i love you you brave girl

    thank you thank you

    uggghh

    i love you

    its all good

    u did a great job

    and what if its not released cuz i just “saw” it and didnt get to say it 3 times?

    maybe it IS

    i mean i am no longer worried about getting turned on by sex with animals so that is already healed

    ha

    interesting way these healings have i guess

    i ask to heal one thing and instead i get to heal all the most horrible things my mind can possibly come up with

    yipee
    sortof

    i felt a lil (sarcasm) unprepared for that but i guess i could handle it at this level

    oh

    did i mention it was weird a lil earlier. I was writing stuff down for the angels to help me and then as soon as i would write it i started getting weird words coming thru,.. and thenn i realized they were the names of the angels being called or volunteering to help me

    wow

    they were weird like allowishus, ollie, lamburger, sugaro, and others

    hehe

    but i guess angels have interesting names in a weird comical to me way

    who knew

    ha



  156.  #156MJ on November 30, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    daria- you are a good person- you’ll find a way to let the rest go, and go on….



  157.  #157alias girl on November 30, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    i feel love for you goddess daria. you ARE very brave. sometimes i feel like one of My angels is named daria. 🙂



  158.  #158Daria on November 30, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    hehe MJ you are sweet thank you.

    Yes I feel glad and good now.

    I feel glad this is healing for me. I feel glad for the opportunity and power to SEE these things dead on.

    I feel really good about myself. I actually think i am very strong and brave.

    also very cool and spiritual. I did no drugs to induce this experience hehe

    it “just happened”

    ever since I did the Lefkoe program I have been feeling and seeming much more self aware and strong so I just gave myself permission to look at the icky stuff rather than tell myself nono think of something else as I did before and avoid it

    it RAN OUT OF ICKY THINGS TO SHOW TO ME!!!

    isnt that MAGNIFICENT!!!???!!!

    i think so

    i feel teary

    i am



  159.  #159Daria on November 30, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    oh thank you AG
    ! gosh that is freakin wonderful!

    i love u@!



  160.  #160Daria on November 30, 2009 at 7:03 pm

    my actual self is kind of a bitch

    that is when i was young i used to bully kids and take their cookies and not let anyo of my cousins play with my video games

    im glad i learned to share and be kind now thankyou

    BUT

    now with my stronger self lol i am kinda blunt with men lol

    i just told one of my dates from last nite (hes all… next time i want you to come to me…)

    we had so many arguments about it over the phone, but finally i did go meet him (closer to me) and OUR DATE WAS GREAT IN PERSON

    totally diff than on the phone

    but

    right now he said that again. and i felt angry deep down in my bakc on the right side and up to my throat and nose. ooh and my thihg. i felt very angry

    and i said

    im so tired of having this conversation, im gonna hang up the phone

    he said : no you wont (hes “the boss” and sure of himself)

    I said: yes I will

    and i did

    i was still feeling mad and i left my phone in the other room on silent.

    haha

    im feeling better now after telling yall this story



  161.  #161Daria on November 30, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    oh
    also i am not very much scared of rejection anymore ha
    the lefkoe thing

    not only am i not scared but not very affected

    so i was wanting to have sex mucho the past few days
    and yesterday i texted my ex – well he texted me first –

    im feeling chill on my way back from wholefoods.
    i feel like having sex right now what do you think?

    he said that sounds alrite when are you tryna do this

    i said hmmm… right now would be cool, or in a lil bit… im starting to feel shy now, im feeling insecure

    (the “alrite” part didnt feel good to me lol)

    so he said ok ill call you when i get out the shower

    i said ok

    he took like 3 hours

    i was on a date and didnt answer anymore, and then later i told him i was out

    he called me lots of times and now also called me again today hehe

    how cute

    we did not bring up sex

    which is nice

    once he took a long time and i had my other date i actualy did not feel interested in having sex anymore with him right then

    i dont feel needy for it right now either, though it would feel good if he was to initiate it in a way i like

    mmm

    yes

    i figured one of my needs at that time was sex so i decided to go and fulfill my need by saying somthing

    all in all it was a cool experiment

    didnt feel too romantic, but now i feel pursued by him

    ha

    feels nice

    i feel powerful and good



  162.  #162gina on November 30, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    Thanks for the feedback, ladies – I feel supported and better. Like a sigh of relief that I’m here and I can express myself without going into crazy analytical mode.

    Daria some of what you’re saying reminds me of a conversation I had with my roommate last night. We were talking about how disturbed we feel by what we perceive as sexual perversion, and how scared we feel of the perverted nature of men, since they are bigger and stronger and want to stick their penises in us.

    A couple of examples came up recently:
    On thanksgiving, I went to a party held by the bartenders who I recently waged a war with (I put my foot down and said that I wouldn’t be tipping them if I felt humiliated, violated, or bad while working with them. they responded by sabotaging me – not making my drinks, throwing away my tickets, being slow with my drinks, etc – and I went straight to the Boss. We have been “civil”, and the tension slowly melted as they realized that I don’t care to hold on to my money – I just want to be treated with respect.)
    I was surprised when they invited me to Thanksgiving, and I chose to accept the opportunity to improve that relationship. At the party they were SO nice. We were sitting by a fire outside, and they brought my friend and I jackets. they brought her some socks. I joked that I didn’t feel like moving cause I was so comfortable, so one of the bartenders came over and put my beer to my lips for me to drink. I wanted to move my chair, and they moved my chair for me while I was in it. I had some dirt on my shoes, so one of them got down on his hands and knees and wiped away the dirt. It all felt GREAT. My friend and I chose to leave before we were too intoxicated, and before it got too late. It was all good UNTIL the goodbye. They walked us to our cars. And i wish I could say that I looked them in the eye and thanked them for taking such good care of us…but I didnt. I let one of them go for a frontal hug and then felt sick to my stomach when his body got all close to my boobage, and I felt a subtle but viby full-body squeeze. My friend said that she got a suspicious kiss on her shoulder that gave her the willies. And we both felt UGH that we didn’t end with better boundaries. And we both suspect that their intention was to get us drunk and sleep with us. But at the same time, I sense that they genuinely enjoyed treating us well. The disturbing Perverted part of them was kept in check UNTIL that last moment when we didn’t have boundaries. But overall, I felt victorious over perversion.

    Another moment that was a lesson in innocence versus perversion…My friend is this GORGEOUS 19 year old girl, who confided in me that she was raped when she was 15 by a popular football player who was dating her friend: he told her that it wasn’t working with her friend, and he loved Her. She told him that she liked him as a friend and did not have romantic feelings towards him, but he kept coming on to her saying that she teased him and flirted with him and drove him crazy. He raped her, and when her mom took her to the police, she was told that he was ” a good boy,” and “he wouldn’t do that” and the police did nothing. Her father and boyfriend considered killing the boy, but decided that his life wasn’t worth jail time. S struggled with feeling powerless and ashamed and guilty (it really sucked for her to see Him at school). Anyway…. at the thanksgiving party, our friend L started a conversation about tattoos. She told her boyfriend that S had a really cool tattoo. S started to describe it, and then stood up to show him. She lifted up her shirt to show the tattoo that was on the side of her torso, and I saw L’s face drop as her boyfriend looked on at the sexy S. I definitely felt uncomfortable in that moment. Later, S told me that when L left the room, L’s boyfriend told S that “it just wasn’t working with L”, and he proceeded to share personal information about their relationship, even though he had just met S that night and had been with L for years. S said that she felt awful, and she wasn’t sure why he shared all that with her, but it felt totally inappropriate and bad. I sensed that when she showed her tattoo, weirdness was provoked in a way – although I want to be careful not to sound as though I “blame” her. it was heightened because there was alcohol and pot involved. When we discussed it, she said that she was just showing the tattoo cause they were talking about tattoos…it was ‘innocent’ and it reminded me of times my whole life when I was “innocently” doing something, and was surprised when people perceived it in a sexual way. But, sometimes, when i thought back to what I was “innocently” doing, I realized that I felt a little thrill or rush or power when i did what i did. or sometimes I felt shame and guilt. but rush/dread, I wasn’t aware of what those feelings signified until powerful responses from men ensued (desirable or not). Anyhoo…the inappropriate conversation with this guy was vaguely reminiscent of conversation with the guy who ended up raping her a few years ago.

    Anyway…the conversation with my roommate was about how we’ve slowly lost our innocence over the years as we realized that men are perverts. There was another example yesterday – this old guy that she thought was super adorable in a grandpa way, started hitting on her big time in front of his daughter (who’s mother he’s married to). And we realized that we both feel very disturbed by the perverted potential of men. I definitely feel this is a stuck spot for me.



  163.  #163Jennifer on November 30, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    ohhh Daria.
    I feel so protective toward you. I don’t thing you are a bad person at all
    Firstly….you clearly feel bad about an IDEA of doing something bad to someone. Bad people don’t feel bad if they actually commit the crimes. So therefore you, by definition…cannot be a bad person.
    Secondly. Sometimes I think we pick up vibes from our environment and / or past lives. If it’s something that triggers us, we tend to focus on it and make it bigger than it is. A stray thought is not a behavior pattern.
    If it was we’d all be in jail. Me especially.
    Hope you feel better soon



  164.  #164Linda on November 30, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    I wrote earlier today that I felt irritated. I also felt calm and in control of me too. Soon.. coming to me is happy. I cant wait to just feel flippin happy! My happiness fountain is about to bubble up and flow. I

    Tonite I am thinking on the emails I sent yesterday. I took my power back, I know I said this earlier today but I just feel so strong. I have had thoughts of “look what you did now” “he will never like you now”… but you know what I know these are lies that I have lived by for too long. Letting guys just do thing that did not feel good to me and not speak up or call them on it only made me miserable. If I want a quality relationships and men in my life then they will have to respect me and my needs and boundries. If they cant then they dont fit. Simple as that. Like I said yesterday. If you want to be my friend, then invest yourself into it and be a friend to me.

    I feel like a believe system in me has been dismantled and has been rebuilt. I feel like for the first time I have come to a place where I will NEVER betray myself again, I will to stay closely in touch with my feelings. I am not going to be pressured into something I feel uncomfortable with. Being connected to my feelings, speaking my heart and feelings, good and bad is empowering. No more stuffing. If things that come into my life go again how I wanna be treated or dont feel good are NOt going to be injested. Zero Tollerance Policy! This is how I am gonna KEEP the power of me that I am in touch with now.

    Remember me sharing that I wrote to ex-bull rider, telling him that I would not tolerate being ignored etc etc…. when he called me last night he said something very interesting to me. and I quote. I see you are a woman who is strong, healthy, mature and has her stuff together and I admire and like that!….. hmmmm I like that too.

    I have heard it said, if you cant stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.,..If the men that are buzzing around cant behave like a man then… they dont get to hang with me…. A man will step up, caring for myself is the key to my happiness and the rest will follow. I feel excited about the possibilities.

    Linda



  165.  #165laughing goddess on November 30, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    Haha Jennifer! I feel in agreement with what you said. “if it was, we would all be in jail” ha ha ha. So true!



  166.  #166laughing goddess on November 30, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    I vividly remember being 5 and tuning into that vibration of perversion. I had a really intense dream. It took place in a dungeon, lots of naked creatures around. I still remember the feeling to this day. I felt very disturbed at the time and still feel that today when I remember it. I agree that it could be a past life thing or tuning into the vibrations of others. I like to think of it as a vibration tho’… Like a musical note. All of the notes are available for us to play (or tune to) at any given moment. We get to choose.



  167.  #167laughing goddess on November 30, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Right on Linda!!!



  168.  #168Daria on November 30, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    Thanks ladies.

    im feeling kinda tired.

    i guess vibrating your body like youre on a chi machine while following your energy for 20 minutes should come with a warning:

    danger! stuck weird energy will be released to your forebrain

    ha

    i feel sleepy now i dont feel like going out.

    i feel resistant to lefkoe im powerless again which is a good thing since on the other side of resistance is treasure

    i feel calm



  169.  #169Rori Raye on November 30, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    Wow, Daria – you are such a poet….lovely. Rori



  170.  #170Rori Raye on November 30, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    Alias Girl, love the way you write – so…”quirky” comes to mind – but just so very “singular” – there, that’s better. Love everything you say. Love, Rori



  171.  #171laughing goddess on November 30, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Rereading Rori’s ebook. Wow! It’s awesome. I feel like I am getting it on a way deeper level this time. Wow wow wow

    I realized that from now on when I want to DO something to make it happen with J, I am going to use that energy constructively by working out, picking out cute clothes, organizing my finances, etc. vs trying to think of something to call him about or texting, etc.



  172.  #172alias girl on November 30, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    haha thanks rori. is ok. i have fully embraced “quirky” at this point. xoxo



  173.  #173alias girl on November 30, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    i love all things coconut. i can (and do) eat coconut oil right out of the jar. its supposed to be good for you. but i have always loved all things coconut. when i was little i used to love those pink coconut balls with the charlie brown characters on the package. i don’t eat those anymore because they have zero nutritional value and sugar. but coconut. yum.

    some guy says ‘maybe if he’s lucky, he’ll be my guy.’

    hmm. i think ‘sure. maybe if I’M lucky he’ll be my guy.’

    so that seems pretty good.



  174.  #174Tina on December 1, 2009 at 1:20 am

    I put my photo up to be rated so far 26-32 have given me the highest rating lol 6.83 haha, my date photo.

    Flipper thats it, my crappy feelings is where I’ll find my truth. My good feelings too.

    Alias girl, that’s to funny, I had this crazy man block me because I asked him about his cat, to be honest his cat didnt look like he wanted to be around him nevermind in the pic. I didnt say anything offensive, just a hi. he wrote something funny I just wanted to comment and he blocked me. he has since keeps looking at my profile whatever. Next year I want to buy a pug or two, I love dog training, I trained my llasa apso, he was the worst dog you ever want to meet, he bit, growled, i think he was abused , well for sure he was, he was so cute though, his first day of class he just stood with his face in the corner and didnt move, when graduation came he was the best oh i was so proud of him, when he walked with his head up across the gym floor, obeying all my commands, god, i had a tear in my eye. he was killed though by a fourwheeler he hated those things , he would chew up the tire or try too. I had to muzzle him for the first week of class and on occasion , he was up for his next advanced dog training following commands when Im not around or at least hidden behind something or away. I love dog shows 🙂 anyway the guy with the cat, hm i dunno.

    Linda I am so with you on your power thing or at least getting it back. For me, getting it back would feel like I lost it somewhere, like looking outside of myself like “out there” out of my body, im searching for my power out in the world when really I had it all along, I feel trying to get my power back is leaning forward in a lot of ways. Flipper did say something about finding my truth in crappy feelings, I think she’s on to something 🙂 like when the whole conversation/chat about sex came up with truckman, like I said , i am feeling passive agressive about how the whole convo ended, I dont like feeling passive agressive it feels awful. It felt good at the time to use a photo he took of me and plaster it on my profile hehe, still does, i have to admit but the point is I still feel this way, it’s me not him, it’s about me, He left a message on my phone to call him , a long drawn out message, he never mentioned the sex thing at all, just like oh,hey hows things? im going to be busy today, its 4pm, I just wanted to make plans with you, call me , heres my number, blah blah blah. I havnt called him , my last message to him after, his walking on eggshells thing was, ” I feel good to hear your frustration, I cant talk to you right now” he keeps leaving me his phone number to call him, like Im gonna do that, uh no, no no no. I cant deal with him and his eggshells right now.

    Passive agressive hm ok. I feel light headed, buzzing in my head, oh i dont like this feeling, I feel anxious , I feel fear, ok it was a brief wave, wow. that sucked! I dont like this feeling.



  175.  #175Tina on December 1, 2009 at 1:56 am

    oh wow, I feel excited again, I googled passive agressive behaviour and came up with tons of stuff woohooo awesome. I feel great, Im not a psychopath, well I dont feel like one. I’m reading wikipedia 🙂



  176.  #176Tina on December 1, 2009 at 2:59 am

    “The Universe’ call me a cutie-pie *blush 🙂



  177.  #177Linda on December 1, 2009 at 6:43 am

    Tina: I like you wording on power. The guy I wrote to, I had given him too much. It felt I had given it to him.. I dont think I ever lost my power, I just did not use it. Today it is fully operational. Thanks for your insight on it. I was never looking for it, just locating the strenght to step up and use it.

    Alias Girl. I enjoyed what you said about using your “dont wants’ and “feeling messages” with men and their responses…. I too often can feel their energy, case in point Mr Scrutiny. This past year… he would “block me” (in person not online) and he would come back to my castle window. I love that word picture. So these intermittent appearances of him at my castle window is to be expected. Whether he will ever admit it or not he encountered a woman he cant dismiss totally. I dont think about it in an imaginary way (him coming back and really being with me) like I used to. I dont even think of his attentions private flatery anymore. I just accept the appearances as a man who does not have the ability to claim the goddess in the castle.

    Telling him and other men (3 in a row) what I dont want, how I feel and what is acceptable will surely bring the prince to my castle.

    Linda



  178.  #178Ina on December 1, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    I need help, I’m a single mom of 3 for the last 7 months and their dad put up with so much from me for 14yrs that he couldn’t do it anymore. I am bipolar but can’t get help because I have no insurance and can barely support my kids. He still loves me but has tried to move on with 2 other people but he can’t because he loves me. I don’t want to move on or even try but want to get help for myself to try and work things out with my ex. It is so hard for both of us and I was wondering if you know where or who to go to for some kind of medicine to get better and be the real me and not some lunatic that gets mad over the stupidest things and to get over the past, his mistakes and mine! I don’t know how to do it. Please I need some mental help!



  179.  #179Melanie on December 1, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    I feel frustrated that I don’t have time to read every single thing posted on this blog by these AMAZING women!!

    I feel extremely grateful for the time I have to read at least some of the comments.

    I feel giggly and warm and chilled and wide-eyed and teary by Daria’s words and feel she should submit this to a (legitimate) poetry contest:
    Daria says:
    Fuck you maslow you dry man

    but thank you for trying

    i feel angry and limitied

    lets try again

    at least you started

    sorry maslow

    i feel teary

    and guilty

    thank you



  180.  #180Daria on December 1, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Lol Melanie!

    I feel smily!

    you think I should submit that? hehe it wasnt even a poem… ohh i feel really good thank you!!!



  181.  #181Daria on December 1, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    Thank you Rori… actually you had said im a poet back a few posts and i was like huh i didnt write anything poetic in that one.

    so then i felt good and now Ive decided to write poems hehe on here

    also the email about our poetic style feelings helped with that

    hmmf



  182.  #182Daria on December 1, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    Alias girl to me you aare very normal in Daria World. Normal as in magical and goddessy and fresh and creative and inspiring and good feelingy and trustworthy and yummy and lovely.



  183.  #183Rori Raye on December 2, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    Ina, Welcome – and in your city, or a bigger city in your state – is there no “free clinic?” Getting treated for bipolar disorder requires a bit of trial and error with drugs, and nutrition can be CRUCIAL here. I’ll bet your blood sugar is going up and down. My daughter is fast becoming an expert in hypoglycemia, and I’ll have her write a bit about what it looks like and how to start getting it under control. What you eat, and how you feel – hormones and moods – are so often determined by physical health reasons. This is something you can start doing for yourself by eating balanced meals, eating protein every 2 hours, and avoiding sugar completely. Let me know if this alone helps you, and look around for some help with drug therapy – it works – look at how great Britney Spears is doing…Love, Rori



  184.  #184alias girl on December 12, 2009 at 4:03 am

    awwww look at this. i came all the way back here to hide out and write in peace and look what i find. a sweet uplifting comment from daria. aw. i feel cheered up and calmed.

    aw i am going to copy and paste it because it feels sooooooo goooooooood. 🙂

    “Alias girl to me you aare very normal in Daria World. Normal as in magical and goddessy and fresh and creative and inspiring and good feelingy and trustworthy and yummy and lovely.”

    🙂