The Power of Love

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Saw this lovely video today – thought you might like it (and perhaps even want to pass it on…):

 

http://www.flickspire.com/r/IAAW/PowerOfLove

 

I watched it a couple of times, and then again as I’m writing this – it made me feel relaxed and peaceful (I love wonderful quotes) and wanted to pass it around (and please feel free to send it around, too).

These are good people who’re friends of my Rori Raye workΒ  –Β  and I’m a big fan of anything that feels good!

Love, Rori

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391 Comments

  1.  #1lilybelly on May 22, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    Holla!



  2.  #2lilybelly on May 22, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Beautiful, Rori. Thank you for sharing, I really appreciated this.



  3.  #3Radlove on May 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Rori,

    Beautiful! Thanks for sharing! This is what I am about!



  4.  #4Radlove on May 22, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    Watermelon Fizz

    Chunks of watermelon, blended with ice and a little water (to get it started)…squeeze in lime, add carbonated water, and yum! A delicious, healthy, refreshing drink!



  5.  #5ReceivingGirl on May 22, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Very nice video!



  6.  #6Aurora Girl on May 22, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    we are simply channels of it all…..if we let ourselves be…..and receivers of it all…..if we let ourselves be…..

    xo



  7.  #7R.N.AmazingMe on May 22, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Beautiful video it is so true and if we all lived this freedom we call love, Life itself would be so much more than we allow::)



  8.  #8ReceivingGirl on May 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    My friend sent me a pic of me & Mr. Observant from the party. I can’t stop looking at it. I have to say, I’ve never looked so happy in a picture before. I’m freaking glowing happy. He looks pretty happy too. He told me he likes the way it came out with my nice smile. πŸ™‚



  9.  #9Vi on May 22, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Allana Pratt on Releasing self-judgement and Soaring in self-esteem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfqHs0fGg-k
    It felt powerful to me! Too powerful to comprehend how she is able to speak such powerful things and drive at the same time πŸ™‚
    Love to you sirens!



  10.  #10R.N.AmazingMe on May 22, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    Ok sirens, sorry for all the giddy amd happy posts but I have to share when I feel like this! I am signing up my children and myself for hiphop dance and we will all be seperate classes but it is a great deal. Includes recidal and competitions at performing arts center here in my town. I decided to go with my heart I have always wanted to do this πŸ™‚ It will help me lose weight and I am quitting smoking again!! New job, big money, happy family, new beginnings!!! So excited my life is an open book of excitement!! YAY!@!! Single but not worried about that it will happen when it is supposed to..love to my supportive sirens!!!



  11.  #11LoveAlways on May 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    That was absolutely lovely Rori!!! I signed up for more!! I post quotes daily on my facebook. I’m going to send you a private message so you can check it out! Love is!

    LoveAlways



  12.  #12Starla on May 22, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    Alaska is so sweet to me, and he is a good hugger and cuddler. I let myself rest my head on him on the train, and he put his arm around me… and it felt nice, but ultimately i felt drained and depressed. sooooo depressed. weird.

    i don’t understand me right now.



  13.  #13LoveAlways on May 22, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    Hi Sirens – if anyone else wants to check out my timeline full of quotes, feel free to email me at siren.lovealways@gmail.com and I’ll give you the link.

    Namaste

    LoveAlways



  14.  #14Starla on May 22, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Nurse Amazing, that’s awesome! I love the giddy news. It’s my favorite kind of news:D



  15.  #15LiliBee on May 22, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    281: from last thread

    Sun Goddess,

    WOW! What a fearless siren goddess you are!

    CD’ing sure did wonders for you. You’re looking very confident in your choice.
    What does that feel like?



  16.  #16Femininewoman on May 22, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    LiliBee I feel happy you showed up. I am hoping Sun Goddess will share more of her journey so you can inspire her a bit about how to handle this juncture.



  17.  #17light heart on May 22, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    β€œThe great romance must come to an end, does come to an end. The ending is built into the gorgeousness of the experience.”

    ~Daphne Rose Kingma



  18.  #18LiliBee on May 22, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    I love Helen Kellar’s quote in this video.

    She said something like “the most beautiful things can’t be seen or heard, they are felt by the heart”.

    That really inspires me to be connected to my feelings.



  19.  #19LiliBee on May 22, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    My fear of intimacy will be put to the test in the next few weeks.

    D’s workschedule changed. He’s no longer working weekends, he’s working weekdays.
    I’m feeling tense, and worried about adapting.
    I don’t want to lose my Me time.
    I did claim it on Saturday morning, then again on Monday.
    I feel good when I’m him, but I’m feeling scared to lose myself.
    I’ve done well expressing it in FMs over the weekend, and he took it really well.

    In the past, he would usually sulk at me and pull away when I would claim my Me time.
    I was worried about that playing out again, but it didn’t.

    I had told him about what a rough week I expect to have at work.
    He called me this afternoon asking me to let him know when I would be finished work.
    When I called, he invited me over for supper and wanted to know when I’d be on my way so he could have it ready for me when I got there.

    I feel so cherished to be taken care of that way…even if I took my Me time the day before.

    He has grown up just as much as I have.



  20.  #20Starla on May 22, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    Alaska is texting me not to be mad because he bought me a car and he paid cash for it. i hope he is just goofing around!!!!!!!

    urgh i feel sick. and if it is just a joke, why joke about something like that? haha.

    wow this felt triggering. i feel amused with myself.



  21.  #21LiliBee on May 22, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    10:

    Yey RN! I’m jumping in with on the ‘quit smoking’ team.
    I love to see you so siked looking forward to this fun activity πŸ™‚



  22.  #22Starla on May 22, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    haha it’s a Hot Wheels.

    Funny. I feel excited for the Hot Wheels cuz I can park it next to my little NYC Taxi… that’s what’s up. Thank you, Alaska.



  23.  #23Starla on May 22, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    I hope Daria is traveling safely



  24.  #24Starla on May 22, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    Love to me love to me love to me

    ((((((((NVs)))))))))))))



  25.  #25Daria on May 22, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Daria’s feeling relaxed.



  26.  #26Starla on May 22, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    I am feeling very very good knowing that all of my dreams will come true. I feel bigbigbig like I can see myself for miles. I feel like I am my own secret smile. My life is really quite lovely.

    Everything I want is already mine. I can feel that I own it already. I can see it for miles and miles.



  27.  #27siren song on May 22, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    hey sirens,

    i’ve been asking my cds to do favours for me (physical tasks like moving things and fixing my bike). they kind of love it…

    guy who loves me texted me this morning about how he misses me (he saw me walking by in my new skirt) and how when he sees me ‘his heart melts’. wow…he is not a verbal man. this felt eally intense.

    so i told him i felt the same way. then hours later i asked him to help move out my old mattress from my house…he called me for the first time in a month (!!) to chat, then told me he’d call again tomorrow (!!!) before he comes over to move it.

    i have three dates this week, a video shoot and party this weekend…i’m feeling really good about cding….i wake up to at least 2 texts every morning.

    anyone who is reading this who isn’t cding and deliberating about it (like i did for a year before i did it)…i feel strongly that it’s worth a try…i haven’t felt this good…ever???



  28.  #28Starla on May 22, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    siren song, I feel so excited reading that. Thank you for sharing!



  29.  #29siren song on May 22, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    Yeah, everything gets better, feels better, starla. I feel way more feminine and i didn’t even feel weird leaning forward with guy who loves me…i kind of don’t care. Feels super-good!!



  30.  #30siren song on May 22, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    I thanked him by saying ‘thank you for your time and muscles’. I felt super-flirty. πŸ™‚



  31.  #31Rebecca on May 22, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    I have another date tonight. I am nervous… But glad to have something to focus on..
    Another worry that I have is that I’m a serial ‘dater’. I just seem to like going on dates but they don’t really lead to much more… How do other people feel about that?

    I am still thinking about my FWB guy, it is feeling very difficult not to contact him. I wonder why some people draw us in on such a deep level even when we barely know them. And all that feels weird… Maybe I should explore those feelings rather than suppressing them. Boy, I am such a worrier… I always worry ‘What does it all mean?!’ … ‘What should I do?!’ I guess that is masculine energy right? But how do you stop it?



  32.  #32Emoticon on May 22, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    LOVE this video and shared it with many people <3 <3



  33.  #33Rebecca on May 22, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    Drat! My phone won’t show quicktime..!? I can’t see this wonderful inspiring video..

    Hahah! This thought is making me laugh! I really could do with these beautiful quotes today. I have such a BIG life decision to make. It makes me feel the universe is conspiring ‘against’ me. Lol.. I always feel like this… But at the same time it’s making me smile… Why am I taking it so seriously, lol?? Why is it always the little things like this that always get to us..?! πŸ™‚



  34.  #34Emoticon on May 22, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    Siren song, I notice that when im feeling confident and dont- careish and like a CAT (Dominique’s analogy) I end up leaning forward a little bit one day and it doesnt feel bad to me at all….. *hmmmph* shift in vibe maybe???



  35.  #35Jessie1000 on May 22, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    My Beau gave me a lawnmower today.
    He is so sweet.
    My grass is like a foot high and my landlord is lazy.
    He is soo good to me.
    We had a nice workout and kickboxing was awesome!
    It hurts to type cause I worked out so much lol
    I feel tired and happy to sleep…thanks so much Rori



  36.  #36Emoticon on May 22, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    Learned two lessons a second ago…. first of all….. be careful with technology, because u may thing ure leaning forward once…. but u think ur comment didnt go thru n end up leaning forward EIGHT TIMES…. then deleting all comments after CD prolly already saw em…. well…. Emoticon, next time u feel like saying something put it on ur own FB wall…. its ur wall, u can do as u like. πŸ˜‰



  37.  #37Emoticon on May 22, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    I just realized something…. when I was a little girl…. I was turned off by guys who gave me lots of attention and was always desperate for attention from the guys who gave me absolutely NONE. I want to heal this….. I want some help, I dont know where to start but I want to heal this because even to this day I face this problem.



  38.  #38Rebecca on May 22, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    I wonder if my problem is that I need to embrace ‘baby stepping’ a tad more… Ahhh.. It feels so hard to embrace this thought.. Lightbulb… Try and remember baby step.. I rush, rush, rush everything… Especially when I am excited… Baby step, baby step, baby step… It feels so hard to go slow and take my time… And stop seeing ALL my short comings… And focusing on ALL my mistakes… Ahhhh… It’s all so difficult.. I can hear the panic in my voice, the lack of control… Nervousness.. Very unnattractive..I feel tense… I feel like everyone has the key to life except for me.. I feel like everyone else learned to do the things that I can’t do. I feel shame.. I feel massive insecurity about not being good enough the way I am… I always ‘desperately’ want to improve.. I always want to be more confident, more intelligent, have a perfect memory for facts, figures and details, know my stuff, run faster, be more confident, laugh more, talk more, learn new skills with impecible ease… Why do I always want more??! Where does this come from?! I set myself unachievable goals – and never think I am good enough.. If people don’t think I am great – then I presumme they think I am terrible. Why do I have to take things to such a major extreme?! Why can’t I ‘like’ me and feel proud of me the way I am?! Why do I always feel self conscious in conversations with the opposite sex… Some women too… They are smarter than me.. More wordly wise than me… More well travelled than me.. And I feel so small and boring and uninteresting in their presence. I feel I am dull to them. That they look at my life with pity… I want to heal this…



  39.  #39Rebecca on May 23, 2012 at 12:17 am

    I always feel like I am pathetic.. I am a slob… I am lazy… I am indecisive… I am … Blah, blah… Blah… I want to flip this.. I want to change this… I want to like myself for who I am… Arghhhhhh……….,.



  40.  #40Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 12:22 am

    I really need 2 get caked up so i can buy modern siren…. because so many things just got triggered in me right now…. even things from my childhood and I realize where I have been wrong all this time n i need to fix it. I want to fix it….. and I dont want to feel that way ever again, because right now I am crying inside. I feel almost like a fool and the only reason i put the word almost in there is out of a bit of compassion for myself…… I dont want to be attracted to guys who ignore me. NOT AT ALL ANYMORE…… i want my subconcious to make me feel immediately turned off.

    Maybe the way im feeling right now…. since it is sooooo bad that i might cry as soon as i am done typing this…. will stick with me forever and I will run for the hills anytime a man ignores me.



  41.  #41Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 12:24 am

    Rebecca…. I am interested in knowing what u *like* about yourself….and maybe ure not lazy and like me, u just enjoy relaxing πŸ™‚ I dont want us 2 beat ourselves up 4 that….. life is about the experience for me and not how much I can get done how fast? How abt u??



  42.  #42Rebecca on May 23, 2012 at 12:48 am

    Hi Emoticon, yes, you are right, but sometimes I feel I relax a little too much and I have to ‘parent’ my inner child because she is quite naughty and rebelious and always makes me late for everything..

    What do I ‘like’ about myself.. Hmm lets see.. I am extremely apt at taking care of others.. To the point where I wait on the hand and foot and fix the problems that they didn’t even know they had.. I am a good cook, a good listener, a good friend… I am imaginiative and creative, funny, poetic.. Artistic.. Able to dream BIG dreams… Good a spotting others potential…



  43.  #43Rebecca on May 23, 2012 at 12:52 am

    Ahhhh I feel so triggered today… I want to be helping me, not others… I want to move forward in my own life… Not always ‘helping’ other people with theirs… I feel so bitter and resentful and mad today… I want me to help me… Not other people… Arghhh…



  44.  #44Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 12:53 am

    Rebecca πŸ™‚

    That was nice.
    I like to compliment myself on what i AM more than what I do….it feels easier to be something that to do something, that way i cant really be hard on myself if i stop “doing what im supposed to do” cuz i will always be who im supposed to be πŸ™‚

    ur gorgeous im sure,
    ur open-hearted
    ur vulnerable
    ur caring
    u are love
    ur very feminine
    and the list goes on and on



  45.  #45Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 1:07 am

    its almost 4 am and i need to vent….. because i feel so bad about this.

    its the past its the present….. I DONT WANT IT IN MY FUTURE.

    Emoticon, why are you dating a guy who ignores you, to whom your time is not valuable, who doesnt even seem 50% to be courting you. I want to tap myself on the hand and say dont do this to yourself…..

    But i want to scream at him and say why won’t u just leave me alone if ur only gonna pay half way attention to me. I dont like it…. yes i lean forward and be nice….. when really i just want to punch him in his rock hard abs and say I FEEL THIS SMALL AROUND YOU and put up my index and thumb and show him how i feel like thumbelina!!!!

    I want to scream at him and ask him DO YOU NOT SEE ALL YOUR FRIENDS WORSHIPPING ME??? DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT THEY SEE???? MAYBE I SHOULD BE DATING THEM INSTEAD???? ….. if only they would cross that boundary lol…. i know they want to though!

    B….. i dont like the way this feels…. we have hurt each other so much in the past and i dont kno if we will ever get back to where we were after all of this. i dont feel forgiven…. by myself NO, by you HECK NOOOOO….. every day i feel like im paying for hurting you AND paying for being hurt by you…. I cant bear all the burden. that sucks a*s

    I want to show you, all your female friends hate me. I dont care, what feels bad to me is that it seems totally okay for them to hate me and I feel like its almost supported. That feels horrible. I spoke to you about this, I feel like you stopped supporting them, but I need more than that….. I need to be #1….. not number “not 1 but she’s okay guys leave her alone, im tolerating her for now” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……..

    I just cant do it anymore and i need to share those horrible feelings with you the next time i see you, whenever the F*CK that is…. cuz I cant do it thru txt anymore…. I need to share not just the words but all the feeling behind it so you understand…. and if i walk away from that conversation alone…. (i hope my knees dont buckle) but its seriously DEUCES my man.

    BLAHHHH im getting a headache from all this….
    I feel all that past hurt coming back to haunt me

    I feeeeeel sooooo sad about it
    I feel hopeless
    I feel so scared to turn my back on this relationship
    BUT this relationship has been dragged thru so much sh*t i just dont think i want it anymore…. its dirty.



  46.  #46Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 1:11 am

    Clearly there is a lesson to be learned here…. pretending sumthing didnt happen, doesnt make it go away. Face the demons. Or else they will never leave u alone…. weeks months years later.. the feelings u supressed will come back 2 haunt you.

    I kept thinking to myself, maybe the way he’s loving me is just not the way i want to be loved but does that make it any less legit….. this is not just not loving me in the way i want ot be loved….. this is a whole other ball game

    I believe he wants to make me happy….. but he is DOING THE BARE MINIMUM… AND there is so much in our past that needs to be forgiven….. i’m willing to forgive but idk if im willing to keep this relationship mayne…

    its sum sh*t…..the way i feel right now.



  47.  #47Annie on May 23, 2012 at 1:36 am

    Rori, I’m appreciating your advice very much, and think circular dating is fabulous and groundbreaking, but I now have a problem of abundance and haven’t yet found where you address it. (do you somewhere on your site or in your programs?) I am dating two absolutely wonderful men. Both have talked of marriage and seem headed that way (both relationships are only a few months old, but we are in our 50s and don’t need to wait too long, I think). I need guidance in how to choose! Thank you so much for the great work you are doing in the world, helping people with the most important, and perplexing, thing, Love.



  48.  #48Aurora Girl on May 23, 2012 at 3:45 am

    (((((Emoticon))))))



  49.  #49Aurora Girl on May 23, 2012 at 3:49 am

    Emoticon
    I feel sad when I read your post because I can relate to a time in the past when I was with someone who also didn’t step up, seem otherwise focused and i felt small and insignificant with him.

    It took a lot of courage but I made the move to back away gracefully and quietly and it was the right decision….

    It helped me know when other situations come up when they are right or not for me too (work, friendships, etc.)…….

    I listen to my intuition more now than ever….it always tells me the right thing if I don’t fight it…

    hugs to you as you move through this……(((Emoticon)….it can be hard at 4am.

    I am happy and relieved you can express yourself here and feel better……

    xo
    Aurora



  50.  #50Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 3:54 am

    http://www.selfworthsummit.com/

    Do you sometimes feel like you’ve done everything right, followed all the steps, and still nothing’s changed? Do you ever feel deep down that your life was supposed to have turned out differently?

    There is a solution – YOU.

    But we all know the truth… You have to LOVE and BELIEVE in yourself, and only then will anyone else!

    For empowering help with that, I invite you to join me for the first ever Self-Worth Summit.

    Here are just a few of the other speakers you will hear from: Bob Doyle, Marci Shimoff, Janet Attwood, Maureen Moss, Panache Desai, Rikka Zimmerman, Hans King, Harrison Klein, Yaro Stark, Danielle LaPorte, Eli Davidson, Bill Bauman, Dr. Eldon Taylor and many more…

    I’ve worked with the host, Dr. Anna Michelle, and she’s lovely, and truly doing great work. I’m really looking forward to this experience, and I can’t wait to “see” you on the calls.

    For F*R*E*E Instant Access to the SELF-WORTH SUMMIT (which is going on for the next few months…) register here.



  51.  #51Aurora Girl on May 23, 2012 at 4:01 am

    Good morning FW

    “You have to LOVE and BELIEVE in yourself”
    “You have to LOVE and BELIEVE in yourself”
    “You have to LOVE and BELIEVE in yourself”

    I feel uplifted being reminded of this. Thank you

    xo
    Aurora



  52.  #52Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 4:18 am

    Good morning AG



  53.  #53Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 4:40 am

    Good morning Sirens!

    (((Emoticon)))



  54.  #54Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 5:08 am

    Believe in your moments of revelation, believe in yourself, take action, and watch the world conspire to support you. ~ Elise Ballard



  55.  #55LoveAlways on May 23, 2012 at 5:08 am

    Good morning sirens:

    Just need to spam the blog for a minute then get moving into this lovely day. . .

    I’m feeling no energy on the dating site lately. It feels more fun to interact with men on a daily level now, so I’m still CDing. Not really feeling into going out on dates right now. My vibe is shifting and I can’t describe it. Enjoying the chance interactions with me, and they initiate and engage without any flirting tactics! I’ve had some charming encounters this week. You know, I think it started when I shifted my vibe with CD song – no expectations of him or any other man right now – just going on how I feel. I think my “me time” has taken on a new flavor. I don’t feel the urgency to hook up and go out on a date with a guy. I don’t feel like interacting with a guy that long honestly! I’m exploring and engaging in other areas of my life other than love. Not always pleasant feelings, but I feel engaged, connect and in control of my life. Hmmm, I need to explore this feeling more.



  56.  #56blue rose on May 23, 2012 at 5:19 am

    #45: Emoticon

    ((Emoticon))

    that resonated. I also feel as though I waste time on guys who aren’t all there, who don’t call enough, don’t text enough. As if they are holding out. but i keep attracting/choosing them.

    trying to work through this. so last night a guy who is half in/half out texted me twice while i was at work. the first text was a question. the second text was like 2 hours later to ask if i got the first text. what the heck? so i wrote back i got slammed at work and just got his message. he never wrote back.

    i fought the urge to write again and say i got home and could talk. i really tried to focus on what i want, and i don’t want to lead.



  57.  #57April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 5:46 am

    The following belief was unearthed in April Rose’s head/heart this morning:

    For a woman, marriage/commitment means sacrificing herself to the man.

    WTF!!!!!!



  58.  #58April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 5:47 am

    I have heard Daria talking about tapping on beliefs.

    Please, how do I do that?



  59.  #59ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 5:52 am

    @Starla

    Hot Wheels…that is cute!



  60.  #60April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 5:52 am

    I discovered this belief three days after officially taking ‘time out’ from my relationship with WM.

    Now that I am ‘free’ and ‘single’, I am dropping my defences around him.

    Nothing in my circumstances have changed. We still live together and work together.

    I feel as if I have liberated myself from the sacrifice I made. Giving my self to a man means that I flatten myself, dampen my spirit, put up walls, become angry, angry, angry.



  61.  #61ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 5:55 am

    I think my autoimmune is flaring up. I’m really tired (could just be from Saturday), I seem to be losing a lot of hair the past 3 weeks, my face is really breaking out bad (if it was only on one side, I would suspect shingles), I have a couple sores popping up, and my allergies are awful. I had blood work taken on Monday. I wonder if it will show anything. I hope this passes soon.



  62.  #62ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 5:58 am

    @31 Rebecca

    I am a worrier too. It’s a constant thing & I haven’t figured out how to stop it either. I think it is masculine energy to be like that.



  63.  #63siren song on May 23, 2012 at 6:03 am

    Emoticon,

    Yeah, i felt ok leaning forward because it wasn’t about the relationship. I was giving him a chance to be a masculine man by helping me out.



  64.  #64ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 6:08 am

    @37 Emoticon

    Me too!! All the boys who had crushes on me, I was like, Blah! Oh look over there at dreamy boy who doesn’t even know my name or that I exist!

    To this day, I feel really uncomfortable when a guy who likes me says something nice, or wants to talk to me. I think part of it is they have laser focus on me and I don’t like being in the spot light or the center of attention. I feel self-conscious and I want to run and hide.

    I’m handling this ok with Mr. Observant, even though I do feel myself wanting to hide sometimes or I hold back or can’t always look him in the eye…stuff like that. Like when he slept with me over the weekend, I don’t think I looked at him after he started kissing me. I kept my eyes closed the whole time and didn’t look at him until we were out of bed in the morning. He kept wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead and being all cute. And I didn’t even look at his face. Sigh!!



  65.  #65Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 6:10 am

    RG I was watching a show Know the Cause on TV this morning about fungus. I am wondering if that could be affecting your health.



  66.  #66Preciousnikkie on May 23, 2012 at 6:22 am

    ((((Rebecca)))) xoxoxoxo… I was feeling the same way. I keep telling myself.. I am enough… I am amazing.. I am a child of the most high God.. I am loved.. I am learning to love me more & slowly every second and moment of the day.. Woow… I am sharing my love and hurt



  67.  #67ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 6:35 am

    @55 blue rose

    I find it funny that guys think nothing about not responding to the girl, but when the girl doesn’t respond to them, it’s not ok and they have to text again until we do. It bothers them just as much as it bothers us.



  68.  #68ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 6:37 am

    @64 FW

    How would one know if fungus is the cause?



  69.  #69ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 6:39 am

    On my way to work this morning, BoatGuy pulled up next to me when driving like he used to do and was trying to get my attention. I didn’t look over. Not sure if that was a good way to handle it, but we haven’t spoken in about a month and if he wanted to talk to me, he could pick up the phone.



  70.  #70Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 6:46 am

    One way is by the amount of white film on the tongue and if there is any white patches on the gums (thrush).



  71.  #71Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 6:50 am

    RG I would encourage you to acknowledge BoatGuy otherwise it would be pretending. Also you don’t want to be using walls with anyone in your life so that way you will always be warm and open to everyone.



  72.  #72blue rose on May 23, 2012 at 6:51 am

    60: ReceivingGirl

    I hope you feel better soon πŸ™



  73.  #73ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 6:52 am

    I find myself being all excited about Mr. Observant, but also feeling cautious. I think it would be good to take things really slow. I feel uncomfortable since he is still married and I would feel uncomfortable having sex with a married man, but I also worry that I could allow myself to get caught up in the moment and say the heck with it.

    I feel it may be a good idea when we do go on a date to discuss it and let him know how I feel. I know that he will be respectful of my feelings and I feel then, he wouldn’t try to go there and then I would feel more relaxed and comfortable.

    At the same time I’m saying I’d like to take things slow, I’m sitting here wanting to go on a first date quickly and feel surprised he hasn’t called me yet. He seemed so eager, so I expected a call by now. I gave him my number and then he gave me his and said let’s talk soon, so I hope he isn’t thinking I will call him. I feel he should call me, but I also feel he’s very masculine and this is how it would go down for him too.

    So, I’m back and forth between slow, fast, slow, fast. Ugh… I am leaving for vacation in a week and I would hope to see him before that. We emailed yesterday a bit throughout the day. I also noticed he hasn’t been on POF since Sunday. He used to be on it multiple times a day. He’ll probably call me tonight when I will be at my grandpa’s bday dinner and I won’t be able to answer. LOL



  74.  #74ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 6:54 am

    @68 FW

    how do they treat fungus? An anti-fungal drug?

    @69

    I was debating if I should this morning. I will next time I see him. πŸ™‚



  75.  #75ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 6:55 am

    Thank you, blue rose!



  76.  #76blue rose on May 23, 2012 at 6:56 am

    #65 ReceivingGirl

    “I find it funny that guys think nothing about not responding to the girl, but when the girl doesn’t respond to them, it’s not ok and they have to text again until we do. It bothers them just as much as it bothers us.”

    hadn’t thought about that. it does. no one wants to feel foolish or ignored.

    my motivation for not writing back when i got home was that he didn’t say to call or write back. Also, writing to say i was home was motivated by fear: “if I don’t write back he will forget me”. impossible and silly. he will never forget me. I am not forgettable.

    so i will not write to guys if I am motivated by fear to write. I will wait until i have a different feeling.



  77.  #77Calypso on May 23, 2012 at 6:57 am

    I feel bruised this morning. GM texted me last night in response to something else I had posted on FB (He is such a stalker!) and we got into a stupid back & forth about feelings. I sort of challenged him and his insistance that he just wants to be “friends” since he keeps on texting me letting me know it bothers him that I’m dating, etc. He finally ended with, “I thought we were friends. I’ll leave you alone” and i said, “Ok”. Then I cried for hours . . .



  78.  #78Daria on May 23, 2012 at 7:08 am

    April Rose – its saved as a doc on FB siren island



  79.  #79Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 7:08 am

    Love this advice:-

    “He said he wanted to talk, and you shut him down. I understand that, and if you really didn’t want to hear, the tweak would be, I don’t want to talk about it. This is about language here. Everything you say has a tinge of β€œdirection” in it…”Let’s not…I don’t think we need to…let’s talk some other time…” And THIS is what I’d like to see you switch out for Feeling Messages. It just makes it harder to connect…it’s not warm, and just changing this much might make all the difference for you in your whole love life …he’ll be here when you get back, and you can practice on all those Englishmen! Love, Rori”



  80.  #80Starla on May 23, 2012 at 7:12 am

    Good morning, Sirens:)

    Love to me:)

    I love my Journey:)



  81.  #81Rebecca on May 23, 2012 at 7:23 am

    I don’t have anyone to practise feeling messages on and I can’t wait to use them!! πŸ™‚

    I know I need the practise because it all feels / seems totally alien to me.. Hmmm…



  82.  #82Starla on May 23, 2012 at 7:32 am

    Rebecca, just start using them here:) Use feeling messages on yourself in relating to yourself.

    It eventually becomes 2nd nature.



  83.  #83ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 7:34 am

    @78 Good morning, Starla

    @79 Rebecca It feels alien to me too. I feel more at ease using FMs in written communication, but very hard in real-life.



  84.  #84Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Rebecca I use them with everyone – at work, in the store with cashiers and person in line in front of me, my kids – everyone.



  85.  #85Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Receiving Girl,

    60 – I would look at what I’m eating….what is most life-giving and cleansing is the bulk of your intake being fruits and vegetables.



  86.  #86Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 7:41 am

    Receiving Girl,

    81 – I use them in real life, but primarily in written form right now. I have realized it is such a deep change that it helps to practice in writing, because it slows down my mind and I think it thru, reprogramming myself inside.

    Just be patient with the process and enjoy it. These are tools that will serve us for a lifetime! It becomes more and more habit, and it feels good to feel confident in what I say and how I say it.

    Baby steps.



  87.  #87Daria on May 23, 2012 at 7:42 am

    I feel upset . Triggered. I feel upset when Im reading Starla’s processing and I keep encountering judgements of a guy being ‘immature’ or ‘not a grown man’ for not talking to her.

    I feel pist and sad.

    This translates in my mind to… You are immature and acting not grown Daria for not speaking to your god sister .

    Or other people.

    You have a deficiency And

    You deserve to be yelled at shamed and punished for it and you have to tolerate that for being too immature and not powerful enough to tolerate it in the first place.

    And I feel pist and defensive and am noticing myself wanting to make wrong, shame and

    I feel whiny

    I feel scared!

    What did this show up to heal!

    I feel pist and judgemental.

    The judgements feel so tingly and hot urgent like hot bubbly soda.

    I erased them.

    Who am I blaming for not speaking to me?

    Guywho…

    I’m not really blaming him tho

    I don’t know that I’m even turned off by it hmm.

    Uhoh

    I’m feelin ‘weird’ a bit. A bit sad a bit Numb.

    I love my feelings.

    Breathe hmmmhff

    I wonder what this showed up to heal.

    I’m being mature and self loving to not speak to someone before I feel ready and desiring of it. I’m not obligated and

    They can think whatever and I still am not.

    And I feel post at them for judging me!

    In my imagination

    Rargh!!!

    And it’s good, I’m tho one with the power. The healthy one honoring myself.

    They are not! They are all in my business blaming me!

    I’m judging them for it..

    Where am I judging myself for being in someone’s business blaming them… Ok w my god brother…

    Mm I’m feeling unconfortable writing about this

    It’s like I get numb a d distracted

    (((Daria)))

    I feel sad and guilty that this post will trigger others to feel bad.

    I’m beating up on myself about that now

    No mttter wat you do you make others feel bad… Awww
    I judge my dad that way

    Hmm

    I love this about myself

    So there

    And I feel guilty saying that!

    I love myself



  88.  #88Daria on May 23, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Receiving Girl – u may not be up to this … I bet it will help autoimmune issues a lot…

    If youve ever taken raw oysters… It’s similar without the marine taste… Served raw at times in Japanese or former food…

    Quail eggs. I take 5 raw in the morning . One just about fits in a tablespoon.

    I did a 2 month stretch and I’m doing one month now.

    I feel so amazing and healthy. I don’t even get colds anymore or any respiratory issues, and my skin looks like I swallowed lit lighbulbs.



  89.  #89Daria on May 23, 2012 at 7:50 am

    They are especially used for autimmune/allergy issues. And asthma.



  90.  #90Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 7:51 am

    “Miracles come in cans!

    I can do this…

    I can do that…”

    ~ Joyce Meyer



  91.  #91Starla on May 23, 2012 at 7:52 am

    wow it must suck to always be so judgmental because you can’t resolve your own triggers after years and years. and to always be afraid of being judged because it’s what you do all the time. What a paradigm to be trapped in, yikes. I feel really bad for anyone who is in that boat:(.



  92.  #92Patricia on May 23, 2012 at 7:52 am

    Ohh Sirens back again…realizing that around B I feel like theres something not genuine. He loves me and gives to me, is honest and trustworthy. Daria said it the other day on a previous blog that pinning over E means that Im opening up my heart to someone else. (Ill get to that in a sec) I feel a bit dishonest because I feel seperateness from B and Im questioning the relationship. I can see how guys can do this..not be entirely sure about someone but because they are good to us..stay in it. Im not sure one way or the other. I want to hear the inside voices that are keeping me here..I know one of them is love and appreciation and adoration for him..but there are other NVs that are getting in the way. Right now I will explore this…I feel seperate..this feeling makes me feel disconnected..disconnection makes me feel alone..alone does not make me feel unloved but more like whats the point..OK..soo “whats the point?” Im bored…Im bored because I havent given myself permission to do anything else. Once again..my boy energy :/ where is it? My E…he inspires me..I want inspiration. B does not inspire me, it takes a lot to inspire me. B has so much earth energy..world energy..conformity. He looks to me to inspire Him but does not do more than work, work out and come home. Same routine. I love him..I feel soo much love around him…he dreams of me…Im his excitement, his entertainment..ewww I just found it. I feel entertaining..not taken seriously…will work on this with him with feeling messages of course..wow! Am I not taking myself seriously? Hmmm another question? This is how I sabotage and undo my relationships. Its one thing to be able to laugh at yourself another to be placated. He often changes his opinion of things we talk about in order to keep peace..I can see how this bothers men when we do it. He doesnt want to lose me..he feels love for me but is the foundation weak? Not sure..still exploring B. Will take some alone time with him to explore more…hmmmm I feel curious.
    Now for E…I am looking for permission to call or txt him. I asked him to stay away because he didnt know what he wanted and came to me with a confusing message, “I love you, I want to be with you, but Im not ready.” Was I right to cut all ties or should I have told him to come to me whenever he felt inspired to do so? I feel scared that he will not be the one to step up. I dont want to be motivated by fear and I have left myself no way to inspire him or give him room to discover how he really feels about me..so I feel like I gipped myself from receiving from E.
    For now Im going to start opening up my waterwheel again. I have plans away from
    B this weekend…but with him too.
    I need some miss me time and to connect with my boy.
    I am not contacting E..because I want him to take me seriously…I just hope I didnt send the message that I didnt want him..I am in love with him…hmmm. Whats done is done and I feel forgiving to myself and know I made no mistake. If he loves me..he will come back and will be ready if I am still here. If it is right with B I have to open up my heart and let him into my feelings and let him decide what to think…he has never rejected my feelings..that makes me feel loved πŸ™‚



  93.  #93Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Starla,

    89 – After Daria’s beautiful processing and feeling messages, I feel yucky reading this post.



  94.  #94Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 8:18 am

    I’ve always wondered why not cooked quail eggs? Every time I read about raw eggs I feel like gagging. Our culture have drink recipes where they use raw chicken eggs.



  95.  #95Jilly on May 23, 2012 at 8:22 am

    (((((Receiving Girl)))) hope you feel better

    Siren Song…I felt happy and smiley reading your post about asking your CD’s for help..yum!



  96.  #96Jilly on May 23, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Feminine Woman…I loved the reminder about always staying warm and open to everyone in our lives…that feels so good to read πŸ™‚



  97.  #97ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:23 am

    @83 Radlove

    Yes, I was really good and then I got stressed and lazy and laxed a bit on my diet. I’m working on getting back to it. Salad today for lunch, but tonight is grandpa’s bday with BBQ ribs πŸ™



  98.  #98ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:24 am

    @84 Radlove

    Yes, baby steps. Right now, I feel weird when using FMs like people think I talk strange or something. I’m sure it’s just because I’m not used to it and it’s my NV’s, but I will get there! πŸ™‚



  99.  #99ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:29 am

    @85 Daria

    I guess it depends on which side of it you are on. If we’re being ignored, we don’t like it. If we feel the need to ignore, then it feels ok because we know it has to do with our feelings. It’s a double-edged sword. I ignored BoatGuy this morning and it probably wasn’t the right way to handle it. We are human and not perfect. We do the best we can at the moment and I feel we need to remember that in these times. People are not necessarily out to get us. It’s about them and not about us, even though it may feel like its about us. It doesn’t mean people are bad. It’s just that we are human. Hugs to you!



  100.  #100ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:32 am

    @86 Daria

    You are right girl…I’m not up for that. I can’t even watch people eat oysters…my stomach turns queesy! πŸ™‚

    I wish I wasn’t such a picky eater!



  101.  #101ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Thank you for the suggestion, though, Daria. I feel appreciative! πŸ™‚



  102.  #102Daria on May 23, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Hmf I’m feeling frustrated that even in my new room the computer isn’t pickin up wireless.

    I’m feelin nice an chillax in the new room.

    Feelin sleepy

    Feelin glad I pooped

    Feelin Embarassed to write that

    Loving myself

    Feelin hot n sleepy



  103.  #103Daria on May 23, 2012 at 8:35 am

    Thanks Receiving Girl… Hugs back πŸ™‚



  104.  #104Jilly on May 23, 2012 at 8:36 am

    well…I am feeling so much more balanced and happy today.

    I sat with my feelings yesterday, leaned back and Rugby Man called last night to talk and our conversation felt really good and I felt really connected to him.

    I mentioned that I felt hormonal and that I should start my period in a few days and he likes knowing that AND he shared that he wouldn’t be that worried if I DIDNT start my period!!!! I felt so warm and melty and happy hearing that…it’s a big switch from being with someone who would freak out. We spent all last weekend surrounded by the cutest toddlers (both of our nieces and nephews) and they LOVE him and he is great with them. (big happy sigh)

    But we both talked about being on “Team no babies in 2012” lol I really like the idea of it just being him and I for awhile to enjoy each other.



  105.  #105ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:36 am

    @93 Thank you, Jilly!



  106.  #106Starla on May 23, 2012 at 8:36 am

    pooping is the best.



  107.  #107Daria on May 23, 2012 at 8:37 am

    Cooking the eggs changes their nutritional qualities quite a bit.

    It’s really easy to take em down in a spoon tho! They don’t taste that bad at all actually delicious someone likened them to vanilla



  108.  #108Jilly on May 23, 2012 at 8:38 am

    I loved this video and the inspirational messages…I felt so peaceful listening to the music too… πŸ™‚



  109.  #109ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:39 am

    @102 Jilly

    Awww, that feels so nice. It is nice to know the guy wouldn’t freak out. Takes less stress off us ladies. πŸ™‚



  110.  #110Starla on May 23, 2012 at 8:40 am

    I just went googling about quail eggs:

    “Cut your appetite:

    People who want to get off only a few pounds they can stop any weight loss cure if they eat quail eggs. If you drink five raw eggs in the morning on an empty stomach, up to 15 or 16 hours you will not be hungry. They cut your appetite, but also feed you and provide you the energy you need every day. Depending on everyone’s metabolism, weight loss cure with quail eggs can last until you get to the weight that you desire. However, in cases of obesity must be kept the 240 eggs cure for results to be visible.

    Eggs should be eaten raw:

    Eggs must be very fresh, drink raw in the morning on an empty stomach, instead of coffee, an hour or two before breakfast. People who can not swallow raw eggs can mix them with a little honey, fresh cheese or lemon.

    Warning! During cures with quail eggs any alcohol consumption is prohibited!”

    http://www.brighthealing.com/quail-egg-a-wonder-drug-cures-and-health-benefits/

    I feel curious and inspired.



  111.  #111Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:42 am

    FW,

    92 – I feel like gagging too about raw eggs of any kind.



  112.  #112ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:42 am

    I’ve noticed Mr. Observant doesn’t respond when I’m all Awww about something he did or if I compliment him.

    The other day he told me he was checking into my bee problem and should have an answer for me shortly. I replied, Awww, thanks! πŸ™‚ and he replied, but I felt he was ignoring that. Then, I sent him a pic of us that was taken over the weekend and he said he liked how it came out because of my nice smile. I replied, Thank you and your smile is nice too and he ignored that too, but replied something else.

    Am I making him feel uncomfortable when I get like that?



  113.  #113Daria on May 23, 2012 at 8:45 am

    Starla – yeah it sux! :(. Sometimes I wish I could die and be reborn less judgemental! πŸ™

    I didn’t want to be like this and have the parents I had and grow up CONSTANTLY judging people I mean like

    Every. single. person. I see

    I hate myself for it

    I love myself

    I love my judgement of self

    I know Everyone is in the same boat tho in some way

    And I ‘owe it to them’ to heal this in myself do they can be inspired to

    I want to ‘save them’

    And I judge that About myself too

    “”””

    I wrote this entire post to cover up that I felt so oichie I felt stabbed in the tummy and choked on my throat I feel like crying reading that post.

    Now anger is catching up and making me feel numb, my forehead lips feel numb lips jot and tingly

    Tummy turning

    I feel soooooo angry

    I love you Daria

    Total shutdown rage

    Blocking others off?

    Blocking what off

    Blocking off attacks on people I think

    Now nausea.



  114.  #114ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:45 am

    @105 & 108

    They could then be mixed in a smoothie? They taste like vanilla? Where do you buy them? I also feel curious if I’m trying to gain weight, will eating them be a problem?



  115.  #115Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Receiving Girl,

    96 – Yes, I originally felt that way too. And it is a step out of our comfort zone! So I look at it as experimental, and like Rori says, I am pleasantly surprised again and again.

    I just know that the speech patterns I was role modeled growing up were SO unhealthy and downright toxic. I see Rori as a major role model for me, and I listen to her how she writes and speaks in her programs. She is very soft on the outside and strong on the inside, as she says, even when she is addressing a controversy here on the blog.

    So for me it is a step of trust to know that she is successful.. And with being able to handle conflict in stride, we can change the world, as Rori once told me!!



  116.  #116Daria on May 23, 2012 at 8:47 am

    Pooping does rock. Thank you for writing that. I felt connected and supported.

    I feel very sad now and a tired feeling. Now sighing.

    I feel like crying but I don’t…



  117.  #117Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:48 am

    About ignoring people, I do my best to keep in mind that

    1. We all have free will.

    2. Someone has a right to not relate to me.

    It feels hard and painful at times, but I want to respect the free will of another person. It’s just hard when that person is someone to whom I feel attached and had hopes of spending the rest of my life with. πŸ™



  118.  #118Daria on May 23, 2012 at 8:50 am

    They can be mixed in a smoothie yes. Most Asian grocers have them, about 2$ for 10. Or else whole foods.

    They can actually reduce weight for people whos body is healthier with less weight and are also taken for weight loss in the same way.



  119.  #119Jilly on May 23, 2012 at 8:52 am

    Receiving Girl…yes..it felt really refreshing to hear and I feel the same way…I think that’s why it felt so good πŸ™‚

    In the past (even if there were .01% chance) using multiple forms of protection..I would still freak out and worry because I wasn’t sure about the guy..anyway it feels so good to feel this way about a man πŸ™‚

    I saw in one of Rori’s Interview with the Experts, that one of the things to look for in a man is to think that you would be delighted if your children grew up to be just like him. That you respect him that much. And I honestly can say I’ve rarely felt that way…but I definitely feel that way with Rugby Man πŸ™‚



  120.  #120Starla on May 23, 2012 at 8:53 am

    It is very very likely you will be reborn less “judgmental.” Just by saying you wish for it:) It’s also likely that you chose this life where you would be confronted with this issue, chose your parents for that purpose, etc.

    These are just my beliefs du jour, but it feels good for me to think about it. To think, “I CHOSE my mother and father” before I was even conceived.

    (((((((((starla))))))))))
    (((((((((((Daria))))))))



  121.  #121Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Receiving Girl,

    110 – When we express emotion, a man has the potential to feel weird. He is not used to it. But Rori explains that it helps him feel safe with us, and we look strong to him. We unzip our hearts, and he feels safe to open up.

    Let him deal with his discomfort. Don’t take his ignoring as rejection. He is maybe not used to hearing warm emotions expressed. Just keep stepping out and experimenting.

    If it helps you to baby step, then just describe an object in feeling messages, like a poet. For example…

    I feel so awed and hushed inside when I see this glowing sunset!

    rather than…

    Oh, what a pretty sunset!



  122.  #122Daria on May 23, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I feel numb still sad still tired still. This is a pattern my body goes into when I think ‘I e been hit!’

    What do I feel?

    Sad

    I live my sadness

    That feels like sigh

    I love my sigh.

    That feels like tight in lower spine

    I love my tight in lower spine

    Second chakra way down

    When something horrible is happening like someone I care about turning against me

    I feel like crying againanc I don’t

    It’s shut down

    More pulsing higher a bit in back

    Still hot at that low back area

    Big breath

    Wow thus is actually amazingly exciting that I get to feel through this in a safe spot and not a big deal thing!

    Smile giggly

    Still tight at that low level

    Yawn

    Mmmm I live yawns

    Still a little tight

    Jumping

    Mmmm

    Sleepy

    Mmmm

    Yawn

    Mmmm

    Sad πŸ™

    It feels conforting to be alone w my sadness ‘where they can’t bother me’ Awww

    I love me

    Sleepy eyes closing

    Still tight there

    Yawn

    Urgency to Do something else

    Hmf

    I can do something

    I don’t Have to do anything

    This is effortless

    Yawn

    Still a little tightness

    Twitching in muscles



  123.  #123Starla on May 23, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I have a secret plan… well it’s not so secret if I tell you guys, but this is my “secret” place, and I quite like having you all in my secret space:)

    I am going to work this current job of mine for the rest of the summer and then inquire with a linguistic research firm i discovered is in town about a job there. I felt so excited and “knowing” when I discovered it last night.

    I am so fortunate.
    I have such a good job now, with good money to make many things possible.
    And I am educated and talented and can go wherever I want to go:)

    ((((((((((starla)))))))))



  124.  #124ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 9:01 am

    @113 Radlove

    Yes, I wasn’t raised expressing feelings either. I don’t think my parents said “I love you” until I was almost 30 years old. Now, my dad started this new thing of requiring a hug hello and goodby and I feel so awkward about it cause it was never done my whole life.

    I don’t feel this way with my friends, I have no problem hugging them, but there are always some people who give awkward, half-hearted hugs. I always held everything inside because I didn’t feel safe sharing how I felt. I’ve been getting better the last 5 years, but I still need a lot of practice.



  125.  #125ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 9:07 am

    @116 Daria

    Ok, maybe I will try them πŸ™‚



  126.  #126Rebecca on May 23, 2012 at 9:07 am

    I feel nervous and shy… I feel upset to be dismissed and NOT valued… Sob… I feel upset that FWB man is not into me. I feel upset that he has dismissed me as a person he feel excited to get to know. I feel angry and pissed about this, and pushed aside in an aggressive manner.. I feel ignored by him, not responded too. That does not feel good. It feels hurtful and I feel angry to be dismissed. I feel ignored and unheard… Sob..



  127.  #127ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 9:08 am

    @117 Jilly

    Awww that feels so good to read.



  128.  #128ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 9:13 am

    @119 Radlove

    That makes sense. I feel he feels comfortable being open with me. He told me he’s adopted and about meeting his blood parents. He told me about his kids and his face just lit up and he had this cute smile when he was talking about them. He told me about his job and his job before that one. We talked about some dreams (like sleeping dreams) we’ve had (he dreams in color too), premonitions, experiences. We did a lot of talking about non-superficial things. It felt really nice and I feel he felt like we related to things most people can’t relate to. It was really lovely.



  129.  #129Daria on May 23, 2012 at 9:13 am

    I feel mad reading about I will be reborn less judgemental

    I feel surprised

    I’m like wait I’m not that judgemental like my gift is to not judge people that’s why I’m the coolest

    I think I mighta been just bullshiting to get someone to express compassion for me

    or expressing an NVs voice in that post I wrote

    I mean yeah I do notice I have judgements and so does everyone

    Now I’m feeling mad



  130.  #130Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Thinking a lot about emotional rollercoasters, mood swings, etc., and noticing how if my boss or a friend says something upsetting to me, it “ruins my day” sometimes.

    And thinking about what it would feel like to not have it be like this.

    It’s getting better and better though!



  131.  #131ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 9:15 am

    @121 Starla

    I love your secret plan. πŸ™‚



  132.  #132Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Daria, if you had said you wish you would be reborn with blue skin, I would have said it’s likely all the same.

    I am noticing how tiring it feels when someone is repeatedly looking for ‘negatives’ in your words and interactions with them. i feel like withdrawing from this energy. the words “not worth it” come to mind. But I don’t even know what “worth it” means, really… it’s just something catchy sounding half the time.



  133.  #133Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:25 am

    It feels so weird “dating” Alaska, because I don’t feel terribly worried about if he likes me. So I lean forward, overfunction, etc., but this doesn’t throw off his attraction one bit. Like no matter what I do or say he just wants me. Sigh. It feels freeing to be totally myself.



  134.  #134Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:27 am

    I want to spend the weekend man-free, but I am too crack addicted to do that probably!
    I will still TRY.



  135.  #135Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:30 am

    spamming, sorry
    i felt really triggered and mortified when Alaska made it sound like he REALLY bought me a car. But now I wish he had, haha. Silly Starla.



  136.  #136Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Good secret plan, Starla! πŸ™‚

    Why do you need to wait until the end of summer, though?



  137.  #137April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 9:31 am

    We haven’t talked about eyebrows in a while



  138.  #138Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:32 am

    i think i am spamming/letting my thoughts bounce around from anxiety to anxiety because i don’t want to feel/face down the bad feelings I got from being scolded by my boss (I didn’t deserve it, either).
    ((((((((starla))))))))))))



  139.  #139Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 9:32 am

    About being reborn: I feel everyone improves from life to life, if you believe in that concept.

    So there might be hope for all of us!



  140.  #140Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I hate being scolded by my boss too, Starla.

    Fortunately, it doesn’t happen very often.

    What helps me to get over it is to think about all the things she can’t do right.



  141.  #141Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:36 am

    134 Francesca,
    Because I want to stack $$ and use my health insurance here. And because I believe that my intention for a more fulfilling day job may manifest in my current job, as we are a research firm ourselves and could always end up with a long-term consumer project that is more in my line of interest:)



  142.  #142Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Tout Γ  fait logique, Starla! πŸ™‚



  143.  #143April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 9:50 am

    I missed most of the comments on the last two postings, but I did a search for FlowerChild (Flower goddess) and found nothing.
    Anyone know how she is doing?

    (((((((FlowerGoddess)))))))



  144.  #144Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Don’t the eggs smell or taste raw?



  145.  #145Radiant Rising on May 23, 2012 at 10:08 am

    (((((Starla)))))



  146.  #146Lucy on May 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

    http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com/why-men-dont-always-like-competition-advice-from-men/

    “I actually used to be a huge fan of circular dating, which refers to the practice of dating multiple people at a time to avoid investing too much into someone until you know where you stand relationship-wise. But then I met someone I really liked and my territorial side came out. I didn’t like how it felt to be one of many choices; I wanted to be the only choice. This is why I promote dating only one person at a time.”

    (Jonathon Aslay)



  147.  #147Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

    FW, I think the trick is to swallow them whole, without chewing, just like you would with raw oysters.

    Although, sometimes I do chew oysters when I eat them raw, not all of them, however.



  148.  #148Jessie1000 on May 23, 2012 at 10:12 am

    starla….I learned from grad. school how valuable criticism is for making my work better (entire defence committees have scolded me, usually publicly in front of my entire class, in emails and so on)

    I also learned how you respond to criticism helps them learn to be more gentle with you like realize that you have sensitive feelings and how sad it might make you.

    Try this…it might help. Say I feel so sensitive to criticism because of ….ur situation/or ur personality.

    Then accept all of it without one defense, argument and with a smile…its astounding, it stops the neg. vibe really quickly.

    Next, this is very authenic….praise them for their knowledge, tell them how you good you want to work for them, make them feel they are superiour…most criticism is a small percentage about improvement and alot of percentage about a power trip…im the boss, im stressed, lets pick on the little ones.

    Third, ask for more feedback after you do whatever you were asked to do better….OMG all this week I practiced what you said and wow, i found this result, make it seem like it was enjoyable…(then u usually see them more unhappy cause they couldnt steal ur joy)

    Fourth, continually bother them after with positive attention…get them coffee, smile alot, catch their eye, I swear it makes them REGRET that they ever talked to you….most people want to be left alone….lol

    Fifth, compliment their shoes…lol
    People are very shallow and insecure and I do it so much when I dont like someone that My older son immediately starts smirking cause HE knows then that I really hate their guts….lol and he knows that i will cut them up as soon as they are out of ear shot….

    My neighbour who thinks im a bag lady, avoids the sh** out of me because since she decided I wasnt cool enough to do a phd and has decided im a closet welfare recipient, and I make my son laugh every day as I run over and tell her how sexy her slippers/boots, shoes are the second I see her pop out of her house…she avoids me like the plague now….

    Sixth, tell everyone around you what great advice you got that day…so everyone knows publicly that she tried to shame you, hurt you, or maybe even was tempermental with you….Act like shes the best boss ever, dont be sarcastic, which prevents repeat criticism (the worst, when they serially criticize you)
    and makes them know how connected you are politically to everyone else in the office…Trust me they will keep their big mouths shut.

    Finally, lol lol, take the criticism with the grain of truth that all “HELPING” has within it. One boss told me that I was way too old to do a phd and he just wanted to let me know so I didnt feel disappointed when I dont get picked (FU** him –I got in and I got a huge scholarship–so shows what he knows) I thanked him for his kindness in telling me and that I was stunned that he thought about my feelings so much lol lol and then complimented his shoes and left….then I told the whole department that he had been so kind and how shocked I was that I almost didnt apply and thank god i didnt….he later looked like such an asshoooolllle AND instead of avoiding me, brought me a coffee the last time we had a meeting (my thesis defence)….a little bit intimidated by my poltics…lol lol

    Good luck Starla….hope it helps and if it doesnt, hope that it made you laugh

    Remember…omg! you have the sexiest shoes, what do you take in your coffee, IM going to get it for you right now lol lol



  149.  #149Starla on May 23, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Jessie, thank you

    Unfortunately I can’t apply any of that advice, because they were scolding me wrongly. If I listened to them, we’d all be up sh*t creek. So he can thank me later.

    What I said was, “does this REALLY bother you? because I don’t want to do this any differently.” He said no, however I ended up doing it was fine. So I asked myself why he just came over to lecture me for 5 minutes. Irritated.



  150.  #150Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

    Francesca I am trying to psyche myself up to try it but I don’t believe I could swallow it whole. I can’t even swallow okra because of how slimy it is. Maybe if I could mask the taste and texture in something else I could. It’s been years since I have had eggs in any form.



  151.  #151Starla on May 23, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Jessie, that is so funny about the shoes. This one random woman tried to punk me while I was talking to Kenya on the train. I complimented her boots. She was shocked and backed off. lol



  152.  #152ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 10:32 am

    @Jessie

    LOL, that made me laugh! πŸ™‚

    Love it!



  153.  #153ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 10:34 am

    FW I’m going to try it in a smoothie.



  154.  #154ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 10:36 am

    Mr. Observant emailed me πŸ™‚ He asked what I was eating for lunch. I think he’s impressed with my eating habits. He was asking me some questions at the party.



  155.  #155ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 10:43 am

    OOHH! He asked me if I have plans for the weekend.



  156.  #156Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 10:48 am

    Jessie, ditto what RG said @150!

    Funny story! πŸ™‚



  157.  #157Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 10:51 am

    FW@148

    Sounds like my man with avocado and mushroom; he can’t eat them because of their texture.

    Feta cheese he likes the taste of but not the texture. Says it reminds him of cardboard.

    I think mixing the eggs in with something else would be just what the doctor ordered in your case.



  158.  #158ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 10:54 am

    @155 Francesca

    I’m like your man with the avocado and mushroom. We just had this discussion at my party. My gf’s husband is like, you people are weird!! His wife is just like me! πŸ™‚



  159.  #159Starla on May 23, 2012 at 10:54 am

    I still have so much to learn
    I feel verrrryyy afraid



  160.  #160Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 10:56 am

    They have duck eggs at the health store here.

    I’ve tried them before, they’re very rich. And bigger than regular eggs.

    They are good for people who have skin problems, btw, I had totally forgotten about that.

    This man I know eats them instead of chicken eggs because he had very severe eczema.



  161.  #161Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Did the duck eggs help with the eczema?



  162.  #162ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 11:03 am

    I feel sad saying this, but maybe I need to give up peanut butter, since they say peanuts are full of fungus.



  163.  #163Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 11:04 am

    LG, that’s funny! I didn’t like avocado before, it reminded me too much of fat, which it is, but good fat.

    My poor man, though…the first time I got him to try sushi, there was a piece of avocado in it and he immediately spitted it out when he felt the texture on his tongue!

    I was laughing so hard yet feeling cheapish at the same time. I was hoping he would love sushi and I didn’t know he didn’t like avocado.

    Now there’s no way I can talk him into trying sushi again, even if I tell him I found a place where they make the best sushis in town.

    He’s burned.



  164.  #164Francesca on May 23, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Yes, FW, they did.



  165.  #165ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 11:08 am

    Francesca, yea, it’s hard to get over the texture, if that’s your thing. I made guacamole for my party, but I don’t eat it, so I always hope it tastes okay! lol



  166.  #166Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 11:36 am

    There is almond butter and other kinds of nut butter. I would definitely check out a possible link with fungus though. Giving up peanut butter for a week at least should at least start your body breaking down whatever of it is in your system. If you reintroduce it later you might get some reaction. Anyway rotating foods in and out every 4 days is a good habit, I understand.



  167.  #167Silver Moonbeam on May 23, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Daria

    Just wondering about these quail eggs you keep eating, is this a Romanian thing?

    I saw some in the supermarket first time yesterday and I don’t know why I just felt oh no yuck I could not eat those little baby eggs yet have no problem AT ALL at eating chicken’s eggs almost every day. Weird!!



  168.  #168ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 11:46 am

    FW, yes, I read that as well. I did the Clean diet in March and that required no peanut butter for 3 weeks. I know peanut butter isn’t the best for me because my stomach gets cramps if I eat it on it’s own. But, with crackers or bread, I’m ok. I prefer the taste of peanut butter over the other nut butters. I would be so sad if I had to give it up forever because I love it.



  169.  #169Ella on May 23, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Well I am sitting here contemplating.

    And… It would feel great to get this self acceptance thing down a bit better now.

    Accepting and even loving the way I look is a big one for me.

    And my relationship with food.

    So MWC took some pics of me yesterday… he always wants to take pics of me… which feels challenging for me as my belief has always been that I was camera shy and I didn’t like pics of me.

    I am putting this in the past tense as I am intending to change this.

    I just often still feel so uncomfortable in my own body. So awkward.

    And often times when a camera was brought out I would immediately tense up. And that would show in the pic… I would often look uncomfortable, esp if it was when I am not dressed up.

    And it is getting better.

    Things that help are noticing when I feel awkward, I might have a thought like ‘I am HUGE, everyone else is smaller than me’ ‘My arms are fat’ this is a common one with me and and sorta embracing that… like ‘ok, well then I love my huge, stiff shoulders’ or ‘I am a huge, sexy amazon woman, yum’ or whatever.

    And that kinda helps me relax.

    And also watching others who don’t seem to feel so uncomfortable. And noticing how they don’t seem to take themselves to seriously. Its almost like they don’t care what they look like in a picture…

    And so thinking like this helps… like ‘I am a beautiful person and it doesn’t matter what I look like in this one pic, in fact, I will pull a face!’

    These help.

    I definitely feel like I am still self sabotaging….

    Its all linked in with my relationship with food too.

    Often I think/ feel fat.

    And despite knowing the best ways for me to eat often I won’t.

    I still feel a bit ‘deperate’ around food sometimes.

    I really, really want to change all this now.

    I think the key is accepting myself as I am whilst also gently continue improving my relationship with food and viewing it as something to nourish me, instead of something to cram in my mouth when I feel anything… usually tense, and then feel guilty or try to shrug it off.

    My relationship to food has already improved loads… I don’t binge like I used to…

    And I still want to improve it more.

    I have come SOOOOOO far… and changed so much about myself.

    And I know we are never really ‘done’ and this just feels farily important to me right now… like a big piece of the puzzle.

    I would love to slow down and appreciate my food.

    But I feel kinda weird and embarressed for wanting that.

    A lot of the people who work at the pub don’t each much… and then when they do they just cram something down on the go… so I feel weird and greedy for wanting to sit and eat a nutritious meal.

    I feel afraid of being judged like ‘she is so fat… why does she sit and eat all that food’ and ‘oh look Ellas is eating again!’ – these are not real voices, just voices in my head.

    MWC doesn’t each much either.

    You don’t have to look far to see where I have learnt to obsess about my weight… my Mum has always obsessed about her weight and been trying to control it.

    At the moment as well I have a lot of resistance to slowing down and allowing myself to appreciate my food.

    I have this sabotaging belief that its a waste of time… I should be doing something else like working, or learning something on here…

    So I eat whilst I am doing something else…

    And then eat more cus I don’t feel satisfied.

    I know I am doing this to myself, and I just havn’t been able to change it yet.

    I feel so proud of myself because I don’t drink alcohol anymore and that is a HUGE change for me.

    So I know I can make changes. And I feel good about it.

    And yet it took me a while with the aclohol.

    I would like / intend to do this quicker.

    If I commit myself to this… I could do some tapping for resistance.

    And find ways to sit with and calm my anxious feelings.

    Maybe those things can help me address the eating.

    And slowing down… undo the belief that making time to nourish my body is a waste of time…

    I know its not… I would just rather be working.

    But… I can be more productive if I do this? I can have more peace with my body.

    And the self acceptance.

    That is nearly there. I can feel it.

    I am starting to make a choice to like my pics regardless of how I judge that I look.

    I would love to feel so confident and good that I just shine and don’t feel camera shy every time someone pulls out a camera.

    I would love to feel like that.

    I intend to feel like that.

    Beautiful and confident and full of self love, even when I am having a shkay or difficult time.

    So my plan is to tap on resistance to change…

    And continue to improve my relationship to food…

    Urghhhh. I just feel so resistant to it right now.



  170.  #170Silver Moonbeam on May 23, 2012 at 11:56 am

    I know Sirens are often posting from their phones these days, but please if you can, use paragraphs, it is so hard to read large blocks of type and I normally don’t as I can’t focus on the lines and lines of type.

    Thank you.



  171.  #171Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 11:57 am

    I just read that crackers and bread can be very full of fungi.



  172.  #172ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 11:58 am

    FW, I found a link about the tv program you were talking about. I would post it here, but every time I post a link, my comment doesn’t show up. It doesn’t say moderation either. This article talks about how to get rid of fungus.



  173.  #173Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    By the way RG, you know that some things we love and seem addicted to are the main things we are allergic to?



  174.  #174Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    RG just post it – the link by itself.



  175.  #175Silver Moonbeam on May 23, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    And I don’t know if you get the vegetarian equivalent of meat in the USA called Quorn, but I only had it once and man was I ill!!!! Sorry for the graphics, but think The Exorcist. πŸ™‚

    I looked it up and saw it is a kind of fungi, so please check out any meat subsitute too.



  176.  #176light heart on May 23, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    I am feeling a desire to join FB Siren Island May I please have a link sent ?
    light_heart@aol.com
    thank you kindly



  177.  #177Starla on May 23, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    we totally crave the things we are sensitive/allergic too, ESPECIALLY when a fungal/yeast imbalance is in play. The YEAST are releasing chemicals that trick your body into craving food for the yeast! Craziness.



  178.  #178Starla on May 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    Alaska gave me the hot wheels, which was so sweet. Then we went for smoothies and I got angry at him because he said I “deserved it” when I said this lady was rude for honking at me because she was angry that she almost ran me over. And I felt angry and got really defensive and we started arguing, and then I just said grrr i feel angry, i don’t want to hear I deserved something that made me feel bad! And I stayed pretty irritated. He joked about how he’d learn to keep his mouth shut, but that’s not what I want! I just want to be around people who don’t HAVE to keep their mouths shut.. i want to be around people who say supportive things!!

    He apologized and I said it was okay, but grrr, this sort of attitude was why I stopped dating him the first time around.

    I miss stupid CF. Stupid, grrr.. I feel angry



  179.  #179ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    @167 (((Ella)))

    Your post reminds me of my mom. I’ve heard her say those same things. I’m also camera shy, but I think because I’m shy to begin with. My mom will pull me in front of her when having her picture taken so that I block her because she doesn’t like how she looks. I feel so happy you are working on this. I wish my mom would work on it and be happy with herself. I wish you luck at achieving this new outlook! πŸ™‚



  180.  #180ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 12:15 pm


  181.  #181Calypso on May 23, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    I can’t stop feeling sad about my text war with GM last night. My eyes are still puffy as evidence of how hard i cried. I don’t care about anyone but him – I will force myself to CD, but it just doesn’t help very much. My heart keeps calling out for him. Every scrap of attention he gives me – good or bad just get’s me hooked on him all over again. He knows he is tearing me apart and he keeps saying he will leave me alone, but then I feel worse – I don’t want him to leave me alone. I want him to keep torturing me until he finally realizes that he loves me too much to let me go. I can smell him right now and hear his voice in my ear. I’m so crack addicted to everything about him!

    I’m terrified that he will stop visiting my FB page or even close down his account since he only uses it to stalk me. It is my connection to him on days when we don’t talk – I just watch his little green light as proof that he is checking me out . . . then he texts me about something he’s read on my site and I love it, except yesterday – he triggered me and i just lost it! Ugh . . .



  182.  #182ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    Oh look, that worked!



  183.  #183ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    @171 FW, no, I didn’t know that. That’s interesting. Self-sabotage in a totally different respect.



  184.  #184Starla on May 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    And when he said sorry all sincerely as he was dropping me off at my job, i said “it’s okay,” but actually, it’s really not okay!!!!!!



  185.  #185ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    (((Starla)))



  186.  #186Starla on May 23, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    It really concerns me when people see the world in terms of “justified” pain infliction. And I don’t want to be with a man who sees the world that way. “It’s okay to honk in people’s ears if you’re frustrated.”

    No, it’s not. It makes you an assh*le. I would have been justified throwing my smoothie at her car, but I didn’t. Because that is a downward spiral of lowliness and it’s not how I intend to live my life.



  187.  #187Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Starla I am feeling triggered by the name calling in 184 and the controlly kind of suggestion about what people should or should not be doing. People are different and are entitled their own opinions and seeing the world in whatever different kind of color they so choose.

    The energy behind the comments seem really angry.



  188.  #188Starla on May 23, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    I feel grateful for the opportunity to get even clearer on what I am looking for in a partner.



  189.  #189Silver Moonbeam on May 23, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    I know I am a tortoise not a hare in comparison to some of you Sirens, but I REALLY REALLY do not get some men……..OK PoshCD you know the one who is Ivy League and I am blue collar? Well he wrote to me last week about silky sheets or something and Zara said to write back and say I am confused about the question and I was, so I did and he wrote this this morning:

    May 23, 2012 – 8:15am
    morning i’m just lying here in bed daydreaming before another hectic day in the city, thing should calm down by next week and then hopeful you will be in my arms….
    XXX T

    and our interaction has been minimal and I have no idea of what he is on about and before RR I would have been sucked in as he is very good looking, taller than me, intelligent and a decent person but this time around I just sit back puzzled and don’t know how to reply. No more over functioning for this lady which would DEFO have been my MO pre RR.

    How to answer Sirens, I think this man is just a fantasist but I am “using” all men as practise for now, what to say?????



  190.  #190Starla on May 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    “People are different and are entitled their own opinions and seeing the world in whatever different kind of color they so choose.”

    And yet, because I am choosing to see things my way, this triggers you. Seems like a rabbit hole of hypocrisy.

    Also, the energy doesn’t SEEM angry. It IS ANGRY. Which is WHY I SAID I FEEL ANGRY.



  191.  #191April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    I’m off to the shops before they shut but when I get back I’ll be ready to do battle with some of you angry ladies here….

    Yeehah.



  192.  #192April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    In response to “You deserved it”, rather than write him off as a person that you don’t want, you had a choice to take his comment lightly or heavily.

    I often choose to take comments (that I have the power to give weight to or not) and decide to give them weight so that I can make him wrong.

    Wasn’t this the subject of the blog two threads back?



  193.  #193Starla on May 23, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    LOL April Rose loves to fight πŸ˜€



  194.  #194April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    In such an instance I am CHOOSING to feel bad.



  195.  #195April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    Dammit I missed the shops. So now I’m all fired up….



  196.  #196April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Alaska represents innocence. In his presence you don’t feel your own innocence, you feel tarnished.

    So, you punish him…..?



  197.  #197Starla on May 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I feel so guilty and awful and angry at myself, too, like i am a terrible person for feeling upset at a guy who has shown me a lot of attention over the last couple of months. and that i have no right to get angry and scale back on our interactions, or i have no right to want him less, because he’s invested so much in me. I mean, he just gave me a sweet gift today, and how dare I want to avoid him for a while!!!

    eeeeeeeeeee
    (((((((starla))))))))))



  198.  #198April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Alaska gives you the perfect opportunity to practice CHOICE.

    Default scenario: You choose to feel bad at his comment/behaviour. Then you get to judge him.

    You can choose another way. A pattern different from this. One that doesn’t lead to judgement.



  199.  #199Sun Goddess on May 23, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    LP has been texting and calling off the hook today insisting that he can and will change to make me happy. Part of me is jumping up and down feeling so excited and the realistic part of me is saying don’t believe it, a leopard never loses his spots…he can never change stay with music man. He can be your everything he has not done you wrong yet. Help Sirens!



  200.  #200April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Silver Moonbeam,

    Can you shift your viewpoint so that what this man says is actually cute for you.

    Sort of like you’d say “Aw, sweet man. That feels so lovely. I feel caught up in a whirlwind. It would feel good to meet you and talk and take things slowly first before we think about silk sheets!!”



  201.  #201Starla on May 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    april rose 194

    wow this is partly true! he does represent innocence.

    but it’s not like ‘bad starla, she doesn’t appreciate his innocent antagonizing’

    it feels BAD when he acts like that. i’m too sensitive for people who treat me like that. he keeps referring to our time together as his ‘second chance’ since this sort of thing was why i stopped dating him the first time. And I told him, I’m too sensitive to date you.



  202.  #202Starla on May 23, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    i don’t wanna make a CHOICE to entertain a guy that makes me feel bad in the same way regularly. i spent my whole life taking things as a joke and laughing along when inside i was dying inside and felt insignificant. I don’t want to squash that down any more. i don’t wanna date a man who jokes with me like i’m his baby sister and that i deserved something, or who gives me a hard time when i need help on a tough mountain trail (he said if i went hiking with him again, though, that it would be different.).

    And my anger is extra pronounced because i don’t want him the way I want CF, and that makes me very uncomfortable.

    It’s just a mess and I need to get off the mancrack PRONTO.



  203.  #203April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    Starla, you know you are perfectly entitled to choose how much time you want to spend with any man.

    You are entitled to CHOICE in all aspects of relating with men.

    First choice, however, is SELF LOVE.
    Being in self love makes it so much easier to have compassion to the man. Having compassion makes it so much easier to feel his words and actions as being neutral or positive.
    WE put the charge into his words, where often he did NOT intend any offence.



  204.  #204ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    My goodness!! I don’t even have to ask Mr. Observant questions. He just tells me everything in full detail. I’ve never experienced this before! I like it!!



  205.  #205April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Hey, hey sssshhh…. (sings lullaby) I hear panic in you.

    A simple boundary is all that is required here.
    “I don’t want to be teased. I don’t want to feel like your kid sister.”

    It’s enough. It implies (without explaining) that, as a woman, you want romance and passion.



  206.  #206Starla on May 23, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    oh g0d, now he’s texting me.

    “Ok, I messed up lunch. You. Me. [My fav restaurant] this evening.”



  207.  #207Starla on May 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    Aww thank you for the lullaby:) My mom used to sing to me every night and I loved it. happy memories:)



  208.  #208ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    April Rose – I like your advice. πŸ™‚



  209.  #209Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Receiving Girl,

    126 – Wow, that’s awesome! I love conversations like that!



  210.  #210Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    Receiving Girl,

    122 – That is sad your parents never said I love you when you were growing up.



  211.  #211ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    @207 Radlove

    Me too! I’m feeling so relaxed and excited with him. Still cautious, but that is just the thinking part of my brain.



  212.  #212Rori Raye on May 23, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Annie – Your program is Targeting Mr. Right – and you DON’T choose until one of them offers you what you want!!! Talk is cheap. After a proposal (not necessarily marriage, but buying a house, living on a boat….) you can choose! Love, Rori



  213.  #213ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    @208 Radlove

    I don’t think I ever really thought about it until I was older. I never really felt loved and accepted though. I always thought I was adopted and the child they didn’t want. My brother was always no. 1.



  214.  #214April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    I am taking back my life and creating my reality in babysteps.

    Babystep 1 (just now): breaking superstition-

    (Old superstition – it’s unlucky to first glimpse the New Moon thru’ a window)

    New superstition -The New Moon crescent is a lucky lucky lovely object to behold in the sky whether thru’ a window or thru’ the air. She blesses me with a new month of opportunity and joy.



  215.  #215April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Where have all the feisty ladies gone?

    Come on, let me have some….



  216.  #216Radiant Rising on May 23, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Starla, I would not feel good if I were told “I deserved it” either. I think I would feel pretty rageful lol. What you DESERVE is a big hug and a shoulder to cry on. You DESERVE to know you are a woman of high value and worth. Of course Alaska didn’t mean it in the way that he said it, but you are feeling down on yourself so that came off as a salt on that wound so lots and lots of hugs to you. (((YOU))).



  217.  #217April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    If anyone is interested, my eyebrows grew back.

    But I don’t like the look of the stubbly bits. I suppose I’ve got those forever now if I’m going to pluck?



  218.  #218Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    April Rose,

    Hey you little b*tch! I think you oughta have your eyelashes plucked while you’re at it! πŸ™‚



  219.  #219April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Hello feisty Radlove lady!

    I thought of some advice for you but I’m going to keep it to myself cos I know you won’t follow it.



  220.  #220Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Starla,

    133 – That is a good feeling! I feel free to be myself with K like that! I never even thot of it until I got to know walk-on-eggshells R.



  221.  #221Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    April Rose,

    219 – You better tell me your advice, B*tch, or I’ll give you a list of 100 pieces of advice!



  222.  #222sunshine on May 23, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    I feel weird on match.com. I dont know whats wrong with me but I wonder am I selfish, a brat? why is it that there is something wrong with every guy that is trying to talk to me on there I dont know I feel lazy giving them a chance. They are not cute, and they are also mostly older than my age preference. I just feel lazy putting in the effort. Sigh Im annoyed and bored and Im gonna be a brat right now. I dont like their profiles! I dont like the nightclubs or the pictures holding drinks, i also dont like the ones that state just want to relax with a good movie and are all old and lazy…i know i sound like nothing is good enough and completely a brat but it feels good to let it out



  223.  #223Starla on May 23, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    April Rose, b*tch, it’s May. April is OLD NEWS.



  224.  #224April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Radlove,

    You joined that drama group yet?
    I don’t suppose so.



  225.  #225Starla on May 23, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    Ok actually, no, fighting with women feels really weird.

    omg

    i don’t want to fight anyone:(

    A hobo cussed me out on the way to the train (I’m home now, yay!) and I felt like, jeeeez I can’t get a break today, hahahaa



  226.  #226April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    Haa haaa

    Me laffing mucho mucho.

    I thought Starla’s comment was from Radlove.



  227.  #227April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    I should have realised it was too witty to be a Radlove comment



  228.  #228Starla on May 23, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    ohhhhhh SNAP



  229.  #229Vi on May 23, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    # 135 feels like beating up to me. This is what I’ve been doing to myself all my life and I feel sad. I’ve been hurting myself.. It feels sad.. My heart ters apart into tousand tiny bits.. Thank you Universe for reminding me about what I don’t want in my life… I forgive myself for beaing myself up and will try never do it again. I love me. (((((((((((((((((((me))))))))))))))))



  230.  #230Starla on May 23, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Vi, are the numbers off? 135 is me saying i was worried he bought me a car and now i wish he had.



  231.  #231April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    What to do about eyebrow stubble? Ewww



  232.  #232Starla on May 23, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Goodness gracious i really get wrapped up in men and it turns my daily life into a rollercoaster.

    ((((((((starla)))))))))))

    i can change this



  233.  #233Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Starla,

    223 – LOL!



  234.  #234Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    April Rose,

    224 – Nah, I’m a shiftless B*tch.

    Seriously, I am going to join one when I get money. I am assuming it costs money to take acting classes. And I ain’t got no experience, cuz again, I’m a shiftless B*tch. πŸ˜†



  235.  #235Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Starla,

    225 – It’s fun to fight with women when it’s all in fun!



  236.  #236Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    April Rose,

    LOL on 227 – Listen, B8tch! I’m wittier than you! At least I don’t have stubbly eyebrows! And I don’t have an outdated name.

    Your breath is worse than a bear coming out of hibernation!



  237.  #237Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Vi,

    I would never beat YOU up…just April Rose…because we’re playin.



  238.  #238April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    How come you don’t have stubbly eyebrows? Are they great big hairy werewolf ones?



  239.  #239Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    April Rose,

    238 – LOL, how did you know? Actually, I have a unibrow, and watch out, cuz I turn into a werewolf at night, and I’ll bite you and scratch you!



  240.  #240April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    Anyone got fashion tips for grooming a unibrow?
    Coco kisses?



  241.  #241Sassy on May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    Starla,

    It just looks like to me over here in Georgia…that your seeing Alaska, cuz he’s there. You said a few weeks back that you were angry at CF, and that is fine, but, are you maybe projecting that anger on to Alaska now, cuz he’s there? I don’t know, sweet girl. I hate to see you being in such pain (that’s the momma coming out in me cuz you’re the same age as my youngest daughter and I want to protect you)
    Maybe it’s time to put Alaska back on the shelf and cd others that you don’t have a past with? Just processing some of this with you…
    Calypso, I feel your pain too, sweetie!



  242.  #242Vi on May 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    #230, Starla, thank you for asking, I felt sad reading the words “silly” and “spam”… they reminded me of how I’ve always been beating myself up..
    It’s my processings, I am sorry if it made you feel confused.
    Love to you!



  243.  #243Starla on May 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    I think the universe was just giving me what I needed (anger) to feel strong enough to back away from the mancrack. I did intend to stop being such a mancrackhead with all my heart and soul last night. Thank you, universe.



  244.  #244Vi on May 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    Starla, I wish you to have the most gorgeous car in the world!! With gorgeous Mr. Right behind the wheel πŸ™‚



  245.  #245Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    April Rose,

    May the fleas of 1000 camels infest your armpits!



  246.  #246April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Thanks Radlove.

    I realise I’ve gone and shot myself in the foot.

    Want to process some vulnerable man-stuff now.



  247.  #247April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    ((((((Emoticon)))))

    I hope we’ve made you smile, sweetheart.



  248.  #248April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    I love you, Radlove ((((((Radlove))))))



  249.  #249April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    ((((((((((men of the world)))))))))))

    ((((((mancrack))))))

    (((((((((the cracks in men’s a*ses))))))))))))



  250.  #250Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    April Rose,

    I love you too! Thank you! Hugs to you!

    What is the advice you want to give me?

    Want to process your man stuff here and I’ll lay off for a little bit?



  251.  #251Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    April Rose,

    249 – You’re ill! LOL!



  252.  #252April Rose on May 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Thanks sweetie.

    I’ll process my man-stuff tomorrow, as it’s late here and it would feel so goood to lay my head down on a soft pillow.

    As for my advice…..I’m not gonna say it cos I think u might just do it anyway……..

    Lotsa love. Night night.



  253.  #253Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    April Rose,

    Nighty night. I don’t mind if you give me the advice. As long as you take my advice to pluck your eyelashes.



  254.  #254Vi on May 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    #237 Radlove, these were my processings of how I felt re something from the post high above, I am sorry if it felt confusing. Thank you for your words, they felt so warm and caring. Love to you, playful Siren!



  255.  #255Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    Vi,

    254 – I know, I understood that. I was just being playful with you in a gentle way. πŸ™‚



  256.  #256Vi on May 23, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    #255 Radlove, at that moment I felt too worried to grasp it.. You know, I felt scared I’ve hurt someone unintentionally.. it’s my pattern – I feel so afraid of hurting people.. even if I understand in my head that it’s about the situation or it’s just not always me..
    And I feel relief that I could recognize it and express it here now. One more thing to forgive myself for.
    And one more thing to feel grateful to myself for.. and feel good about myself.

    love to (((((((me)))))))

    love to you ((((((((((Radlove)))))))))



  257.  #257Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Thank you April Rose…. u guys really did make me laugh…. especially Starla’s funny comment to you.

    Thank you everyone for the hugs πŸ™‚



  258.  #258Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Sun Goddess I will repeat what Lilibee said yesterday “hear him out”. Put him at the back of your horse and let him show you who he is. In Reconnect Rori suggests that men sometimes upgrade themselves and come back. The power is now in your hands to turn this relationship where you want it, if you keep cdating. I believe this is what LP needs and I don’t believe he is a leopard, he can change. But he has to want to do it himself.



  259.  #259Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    Sun Goddess this is the choice point that Gay Hendrick talks about that comes up in relationships. Also every man messes up, none is perfect. The moment will come when music man does. It might be in a different way but he will. Those moments can really deepen a relationship.



  260.  #260Siren Angel on May 23, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    Rori,

    Thank you for the beautiful video.



  261.  #261Siren Angel on May 23, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    Hello Sirens,

    Top Foods For Glowing Skin:

    – Papaya
    – Avocado
    – Cucumber (cucumber in smoothies, cucumber water)
    – Chia seeds

    And I now started drinking lemon water (half a lemon’s juice in WARM water) every morning first thing.



  262.  #262Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    Vi,

    256 – I relate to a lot of the things you say. No worries, I am a very loving, accepting person. Let’s find healing together.



  263.  #263Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    Siren Angel does this mean hot water is not good?



  264.  #264Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii



  265.  #265Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    Siren Angel, thank you for the tip-tips πŸ™‚



  266.  #266Siren Angel on May 23, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    FW,

    I looked it up on the internet and all the recipes specify warm (not hot) water for the lemon water… they don’t say why…



  267.  #267Sun Goddess on May 23, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    FW,
    I’m just too scared and scarred to go back right now.



  268.  #268Siren Angel on May 23, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    Hi Emoticon!



  269.  #269Siren Angel on May 23, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    FW,

    I believe the warm water is Ayurvedic (some types have to stay away from too much heat).

    Great link for lemon water benefits:

    http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4769/Why-You-Should-Drink-Warm-Water-Lemon.html



  270.  #270Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    Sun Goddess I understand but ask yourself what am I afraid of? Do you trust yourself?



  271.  #271Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Thanks Siren Angel. I have been drinking it hot, like tea in the mornings. I have been seeing some weight loss but my agenda is to use it to help eliminate toxins.



  272.  #272Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    BTW Sun Goddess I am not suggesting going back. All I am saying is don’t run away and just listen to him. You don’t have to agree to anything. You want to build your confidence to do something different. Change your patterns. Remember running away don’t solve problems. I would also look for other areas of my life that I might be running away from.



  273.  #273Patricia on May 23, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    I do a great job getting on in my life without E…what is it about him? Theres such a pull for me to txt or email him. Im observing myself right now..not feeling. Im observing E..and B. I feel anticipation, excitement and possibilities at the same time I feel discouraged and left out (seperated) from both of them. B is emotionally mature and available. E shares my vision. I know that B will put a ring on my finger. I dont have a doubt for a second. I know that E loves me with all of his heart and soul. I know he does..he does…why wouldnt he come back? Let him go out and experience, I know what he wants and you cant make another me…or any of you. Once he finds you he wont be able to leave you..he loves you. No need to ask why…he will be there. He will want to be your man. B wants to be my man but there are a few things Im not sure of..one just happened again. I felt left out with his kids. He isnt establishing me as a part..all the way yet and we have talked about buying a house..and picked out a ring. This isnt me at all…what Im picking up on is the things he is allowing to hold himself back…his kids..his mom…his ex-wife…his money. Pretty soon he wont have a reason. I will give it some more time and feeling messages and if not…we’ll have to end it. I feel strong now that I know whats happening. Now to convert this to feelings..I can do that! Im not afraid of being without him…I like being alone sometimes…lol
    Feeling cherished by E…he cherishes me. I want to feel all wrapped up and cozy..Eor B? B or E or neither…I feel all teetery and undecided and that keeps me open to other things. Tomorrow is a big study day. Im doing my personal training certification and studying for my my test for Grad school…I have such a bright future! Who needs to settle…not me!



  274.  #274siren song on May 23, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    So…i feel really sad and frustrated.

    Guy who loves me came over to help move my old mattress. He loves doing things like that. We had a nice conversation for 30 mins or so and it felt so good to be around him again.

    Then during our conversation he started crying and left. After 20 mins or so he started texting me about all of our old stuff…

    How cding made him feel angry. I stuck to my guns about cding until marriage. He was so mad. In the end, it was his choice to walk away and he stopped talking to me for almost a month…i told him i felt sad that we were back in the same place again.

    I feel super-sad. I started crying after he left my place.



  275.  #275Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 7:21 pm

    Siren Song how about stop discussing cdating with him? Next time I would just listen to him to see what he wants to give so I could stop cdating. Or maybe what is hindering him from giving me what I want. The intensity keeps suggesting to me that he really wants you. Have you asked him what commitment looks like to him and possibly when he would be ready? To see how you both match.



  276.  #276Starla on May 23, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    I felt like I was fighting with/everyone was fighting with me today. That feels so weird because it was just constant and rather pointless too… and I don’t want to ignore omens/signs.

    Dear Universe, what is your message for me?



  277.  #277Jessie1000 on May 23, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    omg i missed something today on the blog…lol
    something like people being angry at each other and pulling out eyebrows? wow, where did I go?

    My older son, who has made an appearance on this blog to tell everyone im a lesbian, over him gettin his way for sneakers…lol has had such a good day.

    My beau bought us a lawnmower and he cut my lawn and 3 neigbours came out and offered him 20–each to do their lawns too and 2 more tomorrow! He was so happy! He was already working me for a set up on his skate board!!! My beau made his day, since yesterday he was crying his eyes out…first time I saw that in years, over our home in NS and how my phd ruined his life.

    I feel happy I let my Beau give to me. I almost said no. I almost shut off the universe from good tidings…lol

    Hope that I remember this lesson and I feel so thankful that I wasnt flypaper (roris words) with my Beau and I could finally let the universe give some kindness to my little son…
    Kisses everyone!



  278.  #278Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    awwwwwww Jessieeee



  279.  #279Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    i still think ur a lesbian…. lesbihonest here….. u wanted 2 c our reaction lol….. JK JK hahahahaha



  280.  #280LiliBee on May 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    I caught up a little bit with my ole best gf tonight.
    It felt great πŸ™‚

    She told me that I look really happy, I have a twinkle in my eye she’s never seen in the 5 years she’s known me πŸ™‚
    To have someone notice that makes me feel even happier.

    D called taking a break from helping a friend with renovation work.
    He just wanted to know what I was up to and told me what he was up to.
    He called me again later to say goodnight before he headed for the shower and bed.

    I love the attention.
    But my gf and I were talking about how we miss our girly time together.
    This Me time feels so good.
    I’m feeling a little more connected to myself spending some time with my gf and now home alone reading up on the blog.

    When I heard D’s voice on the phone, I felt all tingly and smiley πŸ™‚

    Funny how space away from him feels good now.
    It just allows the lovy dovy tingly feelings to come up.
    I miss him and I’m all excited to see him again πŸ™‚



  281.  #281siren song on May 23, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    FW,

    He brings it up every time. He’s fixated on it. I like your suggestion about the questions.



  282.  #282ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    It seems like I may have finally won myself a lupus diagnosis after 10 years. I had a phone message from doctor that my blood came back low Vit. D, abnormal C3 & C4. I’ve had abnormal C4 since they first tested it 10 years ago and now that my C3 is abnormal, it’s yet another marker. Could be the whole reason why I’ve been having problems lately. Maybe my weight loss wasn’t from 3 weeks on Clean, but from this flare. I have to call tomorrow to find out more.



  283.  #283Starla on May 23, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    Maybe my anger just need to be found and let out, so the universe brought me plenty of ‘safe’ opportunities to feel my anger until it was gone. Then I missed my bus in the rain and sat on a soaked bus bench on accident and finally let it all go. And everything shifted. I found myself in the same exact street-crossing scenario, except this time the driver stopped and kindly motioned me across the street, and I backed up a few steps onto the curve and motioned her through.

    The universe is moving very quickly for me these days. Things come full circle more and more quickly. And I am also feeling very taken care of by the universe in that it will send me whatever i need to be well, and that kind of care goes beyond any earthly parental care I might lament not having.

    By the time I am winding down at home every single evening, I am feeling SO in the vortex. I always end up in the same place, in my vortex, every night. And then I wake up the next day and start all over. But I do make it back to my vortex every night.



  284.  #284ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    @266

    Too hot of water kills all the benefits of the lemon.



  285.  #285Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    ((((((((receiving girl))))))))

    may u be healed,
    may u be loved,
    may u be loving,
    may u be at peace



  286.  #286Sensual on May 23, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    Ugh why do they text about rubbish but not ask to see me! I’m fighting my will power not to suggest something or ask what r u up to? I haven’t asked any questions in this conversation yet.. But I also haven’t seen him since Friday and he said he’d take me to a movie this week….so why he is just texting nonsense I don’t know!



  287.  #287ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    Thank you, Emoticon! That feels nice πŸ™‚



  288.  #288LiliBee on May 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    Sun Goddess,

    You may or may never want to get back with LP.

    Hearing him out is just relationship practice.
    No attachment to outcome.
    If you close off to him, then you will likely close off to Musicman when that relationship gets challenged.

    That’s how I saw it when D wanted to talk to me to get me back…just relationship practice in being open, feeling my feelings, and communicating them to a man…just practice at “being” with a man.
    Not being able to “be” with a man is a challenge that will show up in future relationships.



  289.  #289ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    It didn’t take Mr. Observant long to change his plans on Sunday to see me. He hasn’t officially asked, but I’m sure that will be in his reply tomorrow. He was going in that direction in his last email. I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy change his plans to make sure he sees me.

    I’m starting to feel all the other men I’ve ever dated didn’t actually truly like me. I feel so cherished right now. Never before have I felt this way or experienced this.



  290.  #290LiliBee on May 23, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    I’ve been looking for something to replace my morning coffea when I quit smoking.

    Thanks Goddessess! It will be warm water with lemon!



  291.  #291Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    no problem RG (((((hugs)))))) to u, n hope u feel a lot better soon



  292.  #292LiliBee on May 23, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    289:

    RG,

    I’m liking this Mr. Observant πŸ™‚

    Any man that makes my sister sirens feel that way, I like.



  293.  #293ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    “The presence of anti-double stranded DNA antibodies and low complement levels strongly suggests the diagnosis of lupus and identifies the patient at increase risk of kidney damage.”

    I don’t think anti-double stranded DNA was tested this time.



  294.  #294Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    b*tches aint sh*t n they aint sayin nothing….. a hunned mother f*ckers cant tell me NOTHIN. πŸ™‚



  295.  #295Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    so people drink coffee a lot when they smoke cigarettes? I guess people who smoke weeeed drink lemon n warm water LOL



  296.  #296Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    B: It would feel so good to feel accepted as I am and I could feel free to be myself. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I feel myself with K, and he sees me in a completely different light.

    B: This truly is NOT about disrespecting you. I feel almost claustrophobic about losing you in my life, like it’s the worst thing that could ever happen. I feel beside myself, and I feel so so misunderstood. πŸ™

    R: You believe so many things about me that are negative and false that I don’t want you in my life.

    B: If that is the case, then I wonder why I think so highly of you?

    R: Even most of that, I think, is false.

    B: You are right, of course, I do not know you. It is, however, a wonderful thing when people can relax, and feel safe enough, to open up to each other and become close friends; that can never be bad. I hope you will forgive me and we can get past all my needy, pushy mess; and finally be friends without any expectations on either end.



  297.  #297LiliBee on May 23, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    283:

    Oh Yeah Starla! You’re learning leaps and bounds.

    I cheer for you being so open to learning and growing! πŸ™‚
    I feel amazed and awed at you.



  298.  #298Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    B: What do you think?

    R: We’ll see, but for now I would like to be left alone.

    B: Ok



  299.  #299ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    @292 LiliBee

    I’m liking him too….a little too much! This is going to pose a problem with me trying to be cautious with his situation. He is totally taking care of me, communicating like I’ve never experienced with a guy before, just jumping through hoops to impress me. It’s like he’s a little boy on the playground jumping up and down with his hand raised yelling, “pick me, pick me, please pick me!” πŸ™‚



  300.  #300Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    Emoticon,

    294 – You wanna get it on, b*tch?! πŸ™‚



  301.  #301Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    Radlove…. hoe im always on it



  302.  #302LiliBee on May 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    282:

    (((RG))),

    An acquaintance of mine has lupus.
    Her Dr said it was a disease triggered by extreme nervousness.

    I hope that’s not what you really have.

    Do whatever it takes to trust the universe and relax.



  303.  #303Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    I am watching Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman. I just LOVE the relationship between Dr. Mike and Sully! I think both of them are gorgeous to look at, and I love how loving and supportive he is! I like to study stuff like that to ingrain in my mind how I would like a man to treat me.



  304.  #304Radlove on May 23, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    Emoticon,

    301- You got a craw up your a$$? Let it go, ho! πŸ˜†



  305.  #305Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    well dont get mad when i start shittin on u RAD-no-LOVE



  306.  #306Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    RG I am so sorry but I am sending you healing vibes. What I did when the challenge of my fingers arose I used my mind to imagine streams of yellow light healing energy coming from the source of all energy (God, Universe whatever you call it) straight down into my fingers to help me believe I am healed. I encourage you to find a practice to exercise belief in healing yourself. Your mind, your words are powerful.



  307.  #307Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    The one friend I had with that disease told me whenever she was stressed it would flare up. I wouldn’t focus on owning or having it I would focus on saying “I am open to releasing this out of my body” while imaging it passing out of my colon.



  308.  #308ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    Thank you for the well wishes, LiliBee and FW. I appreciate them. I’ve been fighting this since I was 11 years old (I believe) and it won’t beat me. Time for bed! πŸ™‚



  309.  #309ReceivingGirl on May 23, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    Yes, stress is a biggie with this.



  310.  #310Femininewoman on May 23, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Lilibee if you could get burdock root it tastes a bit like coffee. That and dandelion root acts like a one two punch in detoxifying the liver and kidneys.



  311.  #311Tiffany on May 23, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    RG – ((hugs)) about your diagnosis. : (

    And also, about Mr. Observant, that’s great that he changed plans to see you! I don’t know. Maybe I was wrong about him before, based on what you told us. But maybe he just really likes you and is a great guy for you. I guess we’ll see!

    xo



  312.  #312Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    I just told a CD that our conversations feel WHACK to me and that i jus end up feeling bored or angry n now i just feel confused as 2 whether or not i wanna talk 2 him…… O.O …… deep breath.

    jeez…. the b*tch is out 2nite n she is jus lettin everyone have it…..



  313.  #313Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    wow wow thank you universe for sending me a line of 0% interest credit i can use to purchase an amazing car for myself.

    i just accepted the offer and i was approved instantly:)

    my life is so different these days, hahahaha yessss thank you awesome:)

    goodnight, blog. thanks for contributing to my megagrowth.



  314.  #314Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Well thats how i feel….. i think what i went thru emotionally last night put a new spin on things……. a CD who pays attention to me and gives me lots of attention and kind words and affection… 10 cool points 2 him……

    A CD who does NOT….. i get bored, irritated, i feel like ending the converation.



  315.  #315Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    Starla wowwwww….. u just said u wanted a car n THERE U GO….. i feel amazed….. and happy for u….. i wanna give u ahug ((((((((Starla))))))))))



  316.  #316Starla on May 23, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    1 more thing
    I remember when I created my intention for my perfect sofa, inspired by Alias Girl, but I had no money saved for it at the time and when I did have money I had a hard time finding one that ‘sings’ to my heart… but the intention saw itself through, and i am now typing this up from an incredibly luxurious feeling leather sectional

    i feel like anything at all is possible. when i’m chilling at home in my apartment, i feel like i’ve won the lottery compared to what i could have inherited from my upbringing, and soon I will be driving around in a sexy car, feeling like i won the lottery:)



  317.  #317Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    I still feel like i want him 2 say something 2 me tho…… but not something BORING, LIFELESS…. idk….. i was partying wit him n his friends n i danced wit all his friends but not him :$ …. nahhhhh



  318.  #318Tiffany on May 23, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Hm…noticing something about myself. I actually couldn’t watch the whole video. Sometimes I like “inspirational” videos, but this one just seemed so “cheesy” to me. lol.

    And tonight, I just got home from a nice little dinner date with a guy who used to date a friend of mine. They broke up about 5 years ago – around the same time I broke up with my fiance. Ha! He moved out to the area to be with her, and they are still friends. He met me at a party recently, and wanted to get in touch because he just REALLY wanted to talk to me.

    The thing is, he is just so NICE!! lol. As if that were a thing to complain about. But really what I mean is that he just has this sing-songy lilting voice that sometimes I find mildly annoying. Like just quit being so friendly already and be a little bada$$! lol. I like when people have a little bit of an edge – we all like that, don’t we?

    Anyway, I am trying to keep myself open to the experience. I let him drive me home, and felt myself wanting to get away at times and just go on my own. But I didn’t. I stayed in the car. And then I thanked him. He didn’t try to kiss me or anything…

    I am just wondering – what is wrong with you, girl? Why do you still want to go out with the “bad boys” when supposedly you really want love in your life? And what’s up with the video, and the nice guy? Do you not believe in love anymore? Do you not believe that it’s possible, to the point that you snicker when you see anything even remotely affirming love? Sheesh. Got to get my head on straight. At least that’s what we are trying to do here, right? Habilitate me to a LOVE focus, and not the opposite – an energy suck and a drain where I just keep throwing my love and good intentions of all sort into a vast oblivion where I’ll never get it back…we want the love coming toward me, no? This is the goal, yes?

    Okay, then. Well, [Tiffany], if you want Love, like you say you do, then you are going to have to stop rejecting it and running away from it, aren’t you? Hm?

    I am just kind of afraid of this guy smothering me with his “niceness”…I do want a guy who cares about me. But I want him to leave me alone a little bit, too. Of course, I only just met the guy. I don’t know what he’s like. I don’t know that he’s my “soul-mate” or some such. He’s just a nice guy. That’s all.

    P.S. I like my name here as “Tiffany” but I might have to change it soon. I’m not sure that I want to keep RoBoat’s legacy as the name that he gave me…not after the horrible stunt that he pulled. He doesn’t really deserve to have that much influence on my life….



  319.  #319Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Starla, thats Sybchronicity…. and it happens 4 u when u r aligned with the universe…… I am now, but i was even MORE aligned last spring…. to the point where…. i was reading and wanted a highlighter 2 highlight something but couldnt find one, then i went to the computer lab and the computer i always sit at….. there was a highlighter right in front of it.

    That day iw as watching law of attraction videos but i didnt have earphones so i coudlnt hear anything. The next day, in front of the same computer? EARPHONES u got it right!!



  320.  #320Tereana on May 23, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    Okay, so this is my new name (This is me, formerly known as “Tiffany.”)

    p.p.s. I love myself. The guy asked me the dreaded question that I hate, which is, “So, what brought you out here?” It’s so banal, I hate it. And my answer, if I ever really told anyone, is so complex. It is not that straightforward, and it’s emotional and tricky for me and I don’t like talking about it with people I don’t know very well. So I just looked him in the eye and I said, “An airplane.” Ha! Which is true. And I half expected him to keep prying, but he did not. Hallelujah! πŸ™‚ I feel proud and buoyant and happy about me honoring my boundaries about what’s comfortable for me. : )



  321.  #321Emoticon on May 23, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    Tiffany, I used to feel exactly that…. till i started closing my eyes and inhaling love and that really increased my capacity for love, so annooying cheesy stuff gave me the awwww feeling, i could tolerate and actually WANTED more romance, more inspirational quotes….. i actually started writing love notes to myself n sticking it on the wall and smiling at them every morning when i wake up….. its life changing



  322.  #322Ramona on May 23, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    i think rory has good advice but all she really wants to do is promote her book.thats why she’ll make a comment or two and then to get the rest of her advice you have to buy her book and for this reason i’m not interested.i thought at first this was going to be a good site for the issues she addresses but i feel the site and rory intentionly mislead people into buying her book.



  323.  #323Rebecca on May 23, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    β€œPeople are different and are entitled their own opinions and seeing the world in whatever different kind of color they so choose.”

    And yet, because I am choosing to see things my way, this triggers you. Seems like a rabbit hole of hypocrisy.

    Also, the energy doesn’t SEEM angry. It IS ANGRY. Which is WHY I SAID I FEEL ANGRY.

    Wow – I so see myself in this.



  324.  #324Rebecca on May 23, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    I feel so guilty and awful and angry at myself, too, like i am a terrible person for feeling upset at a guy who has shown me a lot of attention over the last couple of months. and that i have no right to get angry and scale back on our interactions, or i have no right to want him less, because he’s invested so much in me. I mean, he just gave me a sweet gift today, and how dare I want to avoid him for a while!!!

    eeeeeeeeeee
    (((((((starla))))))))))

    Starla – you remind me so much of myself, and I can see you are turning your anger in on yourself.

    You don’t ‘owe’ this man anything. You cannot win someones affection.

    I’m not sure if I am supposed to say this but it feels to me like he is homing in on your vuneralbility – and that feels yuck to me..

    Gosh, to me this is all about suppressing anger. It’s like a mirror to me…



  325.  #325Jessie1000 on May 24, 2012 at 12:16 am

    Emoticon
    I wish I was a lesbian! Honest! Women are so much easier to figure out than men!

    Omg sometimes men are such a mystery!



  326.  #326Jessie1000 on May 24, 2012 at 12:25 am

    Havent you ever thought that good guys are out of your league?

    I do all the time.

    And the good ones are exhausting. They are different in the way they smell, act, and talk and they make me so much more vulnerable.

    Also bad boys are usually HOT…like physically (whether looks is all they have to offer or not) because they learned very young that if u are good looking, you dont have to try for women, the women will come to you …if one goes, then 10 more come in…lol

    Aesthetics are very deceiving! Its nice to walk around with a hot guy, where all your girl friends tell you, omg he is so cute, and sexy and women turn around to look at him and see who you are cause you caught him!

    I think qualities are difficult to obtain, while any dude can buy a membership to the gym and buy some nice clothes (with nice fashion, even an ugly guy can get alot of attention from women) or even cars…get a hot car, get a woman fast…lol

    Im trying not to be completely shallow now on POF, cause im tired of the conceit, agression, and bossiness of certain types of men….

    I like to see how men approach a date, not just what they chit chat about….like do they ask you nicely if you would like to go out? Or just send their number and tell u to call? Do they talk about their feelings, or the size of their parts?

    I like to see if they respect older people, or if they like children, or their sisters, or their mothers….find a man who is really well socialized and you can usually tell by their positiveness and they will in turn share it with you!



  327.  #327Jessie1000 on May 24, 2012 at 12:37 am

    My thought for the day about aging.

    Life is a gift.

    So many people will never get to be 20, 30 or 40.

    Some people will never get to see wrinkles grow on their face or become a wife, a mother, or even a grandmother.

    Only 30 % of the population make it to over 40 (im not sure exactly about Canada but thats a world wide average).

    Some children die before they learn to read.

    Think of all the experiences you have had up to this second. Some people will never have the good or bad of any of your lifetimes.

    Your wrinkles, your saggy breasts, your arthritis, whatever it is, is a gift. To reach adulthood is almost a small miracle.

    Every day you wake up, you have an opportunity to make a difference in the next generation. To notice a child, to help out a mother, to support a father, to lift up someones day.

    We are all struggling together in our communities. Some people are beginning their lives, some people are suffering with old age. We can all touch each others lives with kindness and respect.

    We can all make it a point to use each and every day to bring joy into someones life. To protect a child from heartache. To support a mother who is trying her best. To love a stranger with your hospitality without asking for anything back.

    THe more we give, the more the world gives back to us and the next time you feel down and see your self as less than the person you were when you were young, stop.

    Take assessment of what you have. Not ur car or ur iphone, or ur house. Assess what is really valuable.
    Value your friendships, your lovers whether they are here for now or forever, your family, your blood relatives, your neighbours, and your present safety.

    Value your children cause your only young once. Value all children, because they are our future and our hope for the world.

    Hope that everyone is not feeling alone and I feel so incredibly lucky that I am able to meet all you lovely sirens so I dont feel so alone. And thank you for your heartfelt comments because I feel warmed by the sisterhood of this blog.

    Kisses everyone



  328.  #328Rebecca on May 24, 2012 at 1:39 am

    I feel like I keep repeating the same mistakes.. The same patterns. I want to learn and grow and be comfortable in my own skin and be happy with who I am – with or without a man.

    I still feel desperate for love in my life… I wish I could STOP feeling so DESPERATE and LONELY.

    I fill my life with abundant things. I have wide circle of friends. I DO lots of sports and have a wide variety of healthy hobbies. I circular date – which I think is brilliant. I eat well and look after myself… SO why do I feel so miserable and that my life is totally ALL wrong. And feel cursed.. That no-one is going to LOVE me. And I really feel cursed – like God is telling me that this is the cross I have to bare, like we all have to bare a cross, and this is mine… I can’t get my head around that this will ever change… I can’t believe that my life will ever change and that I will meet someone. I wish something could change in me to make it work…



  329.  #329Ella on May 24, 2012 at 2:02 am

    Good Morning Sirens.

    I am feeling excited and happy today.

    I feel excited about all the great things happening in my life.

    And I feel happy and inspired and motivated, but peaceful.

    I just watched and tapped along to Margaret Lynch’s vidoe on resistance to change. And I looked up Meetup groups near me and we do have them and there is some really cool stuff going on!!!

    I may not go but the options are there if I want them.

    Thanks Lilibee for inspiring me to check into these.

    I intend to continue making my life fabolous.

    Now I have to go and buy a couple of things for myself ready for my friend’s wedding on Sat and pay some money into the bank.

    Have a good day Sirens.



  330.  #330Rebecca on May 24, 2012 at 2:04 am

    I feel like my FWB guy has severely knocked my confidence and I feel so low. He’s humiliated me. He’s made fun of me. He’s treated me in the worse way possible – and now I feel so, so sad and depressed and I can’t see a way to climb out of it and feel confident and happy again. Usually I am such a happy person and I feel he has stolen that from me. And yet because of the rules of the game I can’t even shout at him. I can’t even tell him how unhappyhe has made me feel, or how angry he has made me feel. I know that everyone will say ‘think positive’ STOP thinking about him but there has to be better, more healing advice than this? Maybe not. I just feel like he is controling my emotions rather than me. I am a middle aged woman – I should be able to DEAL with this better. I am NOT a teenager. It is doing my head in that I have collapsed like this. Like I do everytime. There has to be a way of dealing with this but I just can’t see it. I feel like things in my life are so wrong. This is not normal. No-one should have to go through this much pain. But its happened to me so many times. And I don’t want sympathy. It’s like everything is crashing down on me. I just want a normal life because life is so short and I should be out there enjoying myself, not feeling like this. So out of control.



  331.  #331Silver Moonbeam on May 24, 2012 at 2:12 am

    #325 Jessie

    That is a beautiful, heartwarming post, {{{ HUGS }}} and thank you so much for sharing. πŸ™‚



  332.  #332Francesca on May 24, 2012 at 2:44 am

    (((Receiving Girl)))

    (((Rebecca)))



  333.  #333Sun Goddess on May 24, 2012 at 3:17 am

    FW and LiliBee,

    You both are right. I have used running away in the past to remove myself from problems. I guess I could talk to LP but I don’t want to mess anything up with music man who has not done anything wrong to me. I think the only way to not completely hurt music man is to be absolutely honest with him about what is going on.



  334.  #334Francesca on May 24, 2012 at 3:36 am

    light heart, re your post at 176, ask a friend to invite you to the group and Lizka will approve you.



  335.  #335Aurora Girl on May 24, 2012 at 4:03 am

    Good morning Sirens
    I felt uncomfortable reading the nasty girl exchanges above…..even if sirens meant it in fun….just felt like messing around in negative energy

    It reminds me of prison ranges of women inmates….they do that alot…..kinda test each other…goad each other on…..strut it….everyone thinks it`s fun until someone pushes it a little too far and then someone gets hurt, or a fight starts

    I `ve been around couples who do this…..it feels awful….toxic…..like breathing in polluted air and choking having to listen to it…..

    I feel nauseated reading it.

    xo
    Aurora



  336.  #336Aurora Girl on May 24, 2012 at 4:08 am

    324 Jessie

    “the good ones are exhausting`…

    I find that this is true! more so in how much growth happens with them and keeping up! often my own overanalyzing because some things (good things at that) are new!

    the toxic guys are exhausting too….more in regards to how much mental energy I have used in the past when in relationship with them.

    xo
    Aurora



  337.  #337Aurora Girl on May 24, 2012 at 4:19 am

    I`m just reading the blog and feeling yucky…….

    It feels like some negative energy residuals in some of the words……like someone let off a stink bomb and it`s still around…..sours the other posts….

    I don`t want this in my day…….I think I need a break from the blog….I feel anxious when I read it now…..maybe I`ve outgrown it like an old neighbourhood……except for extending well wishes…..that stands anyhow ….like walking through the street and just observing……always wish sirens well….



  338.  #338Femininewoman on May 24, 2012 at 5:11 am

    331 Sun Goddess think very clearly before going down the honest route and baring your soul to MusicMan. He has only recently asked for exclusivity. How long have you been seeing each other. Be honest with yourself and be clear that you are not yet in a relationship. He is just now asking for one.



  339.  #339Femininewoman on May 24, 2012 at 5:14 am

    Know the Cause

    They are discussing the fear factor and how it affectgs the body on the program now. They say that the physiology of fear shows that hormones related to it are higher in the morning. Fear changes your cells at the microscopic level. They are saying first thing to do is address the fear. Especially as it is connected to cancer.



  340.  #340Femininewoman on May 24, 2012 at 5:19 am

    Ashwaganda is a “great” supplement to manage stress in a natural way. It helps the adrenals. But they say we have to get the spiritual part taken care of first, it is the most important. “We have to have peace in our hearts”.

    They also suggest green tea and relora (spelling) amonst others



  341.  #341Femininewoman on May 24, 2012 at 5:20 am

    RadLove – was it you who mentioned Doug Kaufman before? He is the one who talked about the fungus link.



  342.  #342Femininewoman on May 24, 2012 at 5:26 am

    RE 333 Aurora that was how I felt about it initially. But then I thought it might help some people uncover the stranger parts of themselves or something that needs to be healed. Only as things come up in the presence of true love that we really have an opportunity to heal.

    As such I choose to skip some of the playful banter.



  343.  #343Femininewoman on May 24, 2012 at 5:28 am

    (((((((((((((((((Rebecca))))))))))))))))



  344.  #344Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 5:32 am

    FW,

    339 – No, not me.



  345.  #345Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 5:35 am

    Aurora Girl,

    335 – I hope you are not referring to my playfulness with April Rose and Emoticon? It is purely play in fun.

    We are exploring the expression of our inner stranger…to get to know the forbidden side of ourselves. And we are just playing. We love each other.



  346.  #346Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 5:37 am

    Aurora Girl,

    333 – I feel bad finding that it is our play that is bothering you. Hmmm, not sure what to think.

    April Rose and Emoticon, do you want to play off the blog, so we don’t upset people? If so, please feel free to email me at brendaearthlink@yahoo.com.



  347.  #347Francesca on May 24, 2012 at 5:38 am

    FW @337

    That’s interesting.

    I wonder if our own cells are somewhat programmed to react like that.

    Maybe it has to do with our upbringing, patterns and habits and even our own genetics.



  348.  #348Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 5:40 am

    Rebecca,

    326 – I feel much the same way. it’s hard. One idea is to read a biography or autobiography of someone you look up to as a role model. A good book like that can feel like a friend sometimes.



  349.  #349Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 5:55 am

    Rebecca,

    328 – I totally relate! What I have been learning from Rori is I can work thru that stuff better when I EMBRACE the sadness, pain, anger, etc, rather than to stuff it or push it away.

    Yes, you are HEALTHY to express your anger to him! Rori teaches us how to do that! “I feel angry. I don’t want….” or “I feel like screaming and swearing at you! I feel so pissed off at you!” This is showing yourself respect. You are letting him know how you feel, and this is valid. Even tho we are taught that it’s taboo to say that “horrible” thing: I FEEL ANGRY!

    Are you familiar with Rori’s fall to the floor tool? Honor the lil girl inside! She needs to cry! She needs to curl up in a ball! She needs to be allowed to feel mopey and sad for a while. It’s okay! You don’t have to be strong all the time. You don’t have to pretend everything is okay. Or that you’re okay. You can fall apart and then in baby steps, put yourself back together better than you were before.

    But most often, this is a process that takes lots of time. Feel free to journal on this blog. We will support you.

    Can you do something soothing for your lil girl today? What would you really like to do today? If you don’t have time, can you do it this weekend? Can you go out in nature and just hold a flower, or feel the bark on a tree? Or study the structure of a leaf?

    find some time to be a little girl today.



  350.  #350Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 5:57 am

    I feel beautiful when I take a shower and fix my hair pretty and wear makeup. I feel beautiful when my house is neat and clean. I want to feel beautiful today.

    I love you all, even you April Rose, LOL! πŸ™‚



  351.  #351Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 6:01 am

    Aurora Girl,

    I asked my lil girl why she likes to play angry. She said it is because she has SOOOOOO much anger inside from childhood, when she didn’t know why and didn’t know how to channel it.

    It feels pent up, and sometimes a harmless outlet feels healing, like punching a pillow. Also, and more notably, I think when we turn something explosive into something funny, it creates a huge inner shift!

    Then next time I am confronted with a real situation of yelling, swearing, and anger, my subconscious will more automatically shift to humor instead of anger!

    So altho it looks bad at a glance, I honestly think it is therapeutic. And again, it is like facing that “stranger” inside that Rori discusses in Toxic Men.

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I am woman! Hear me roar! πŸ˜†



  352.  #352Starla on May 24, 2012 at 6:12 am

    Rebecca, thanks for your posts to me… they felt soooo comforting to read.

    #326 You’ll bear that cross until you are really, really loving yourself. Talk to and treat yourself like your own bestest friend and lover. I find myself saying compliments to myself in a way that no man ever has (although I have received some really wonderful compliments, my own are the most fulfilling because I know me the best) and deliberately saying things like “I love me,” “love to me,” and “I forgive myself” in my head as often as I can remember to say it. It is not exactly an easy habit to get into and might even feel like an awkward lie at first, but if you commit yourself to it, it’ll start to become a natural process.

    Really learning to love yourself is the cross your bearing right now, and it’s manifesting in romantic unhappiness (and maybe other dissatisfying elements in your life, too).

    I can feel/see a wall I have in myself where my love for myself ends. I want to break down that wall and have my love for myself be infinite and never ending and abundant. That feels terrifying for me to think about, though, and I’m not actually ready to make that an intention, because I have a suspicion that the universe would throw me a lot of annoying or even dangerous situations where I can make it clear to myself and the universe that I have infinite love for myself. Maybe it doesn’t have to be like that, though. Maybe that’s MY false cross to bear.

    (((((((((((((starla))))))))))))))
    (((((((((((((rebecca)))))))))))))))



  353.  #353Rebecca on May 24, 2012 at 6:22 am

    Radlove – thank you so much for your post to me, yes, it feels a great support to me. I feel like I do need to connect with the tools to move my life forward. It feels scary… And yes, I will try am embrace.. And allow myself to feel the pain and sadness. Most times I just feel numb. Its like something doesn’t work inside me to connect to the pain.

    Yes, connecting with nature is good and soothing. I try to tell myself this. Right now I am travelling through the country side and it is beautiful… πŸ™‚



  354.  #354Lilibee on May 24, 2012 at 6:23 am

    I just ‘got’ another experience that proves what Rori teaches:

    If you use a seemingly ‘bad’ relationship to learn to the fullest, you grow, your vibe changes and you attract new people, and/or new behaviours from ones you already know, that match your new vibe.

    I did not like D’s neighbourlady vibe at all.
    We eventually locked horns, and stopped hanging around with her and her group.
    I had really enjoyed hanging around this fun loving warm caring group, until her own personal triggers tookover and triggered my deep burried issues.
    I let my feelings rise and examined them through and through, looked at myself and my triggers straight in the eye.
    I acknowledged my own issues (all about me).

    I was very sad to lose that group of friends.
    But then that left available empty space for me to find a new group of friends who are even better suited to me.
    In addition, my new vibe is open to letting them in.

    That the 1st group may have felt kind and warm at 1st, but in the long run I realized that they are all about hiding real feelings and opinions to get along with each other.
    Neighbourlady was not open to talking things out to reach an understanding and break the tension between us.
    Then the rest of the group, her sisters which I was friends with 1st, all stepped away from me eventhough they didn’t like what she was doing.
    I don’t feel good having to withhold my feelings and pretend just to buy peace as they all do.
    It feels superficial, I feel tense with stuck energy when I don’t feel ‘real’.

    This new group of friends I have been hanging around with for 2 years are total opposite.
    They are very open to honestly say what they feel and what is on their mind and they welcome the same from me with open arms.
    They speak their truth and hear each other out.
    They are very forgiving and compassionate towards one another and towards me.

    I feel so comfortable around them, so free and peaceful to be ‘real’, and I am appreciated for it.
    I feel connected to myself and them.

    They even said that they like me bc I am authentic and openminded, they know exactly where they stand with me at all times.
    That is a trait that I value highly in my friends.
    I feel secure in that environment.

    So losing a group of friends was a blessing in disguise after all, bc they did not have those values to have a real authentic relationship with.
    If none of this ‘tiff’ happened with neighbourlady, I would have stuck around with them in that ‘superficial’ energy.
    I would not have grown to be able to be open to a new group that has that ‘real’ connected flowing energy that I always wanted to live in.



  355.  #355Rebecca on May 24, 2012 at 6:39 am

    Aaah Starla – that is a lovely way of looking at things. I will try and practise that and let you know how it goes.

    Wow! Thank you πŸ™‚



  356.  #356Tam on May 24, 2012 at 6:51 am

    It’s great to practice self love and it’s such a basic ingredient in our lives…but I feel sad because it is so nice to have romantic love in our lives and I miss it so. It feels so nice to have someone care about us, and someone to care about, a special person – I know we have friends and families, but it is just not the same.
    For me it happens every 5-8 years that I meet someone whom I really click with..it so happened to be someone who had a multitude of issues this time…and he tried very hard, I know he did – but in the end if a man can’t commit fully, what to do but to silently slip away? The times with him felt so good, simple and easy and just right, no need to wear masks, being able to take about things that go deeper than with anyone else and just a sense of calm and having arrived.
    The little voice in me says ‘contact him, he is insecure and scared and needs affirmation’ – but I have to squash the little voice because I know what it feels like when he does step up, and now he has withdrawn (again) , just contacting once a week, and I am so tired of it and so sad and i just want to stop hoping and I want to move on. But how on earth does one stop the hope?
    I have even seriously dated other men whilst putting him ‘on my horse’, even a 6 month relationship, and yet he keeps coming back. But I don’t want him to, I want him to either commit or never come back again…how do I stop this vicious cycle….
    Well, time has always done it, I am just scared that he will show up again.
    Feeling pretty weak and it is silly to bemoan losing something that one never really had in the first place.
    I want to stop it!



  357.  #357Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 7:03 am

    Rebecca,

    351 – “Most times I just feel numb. Its like something doesn’t work inside me to connect to the pain.”

    Totally relate. Along the same lines I expressed to Aurora Girl about releasing my anger, I find that it helps to express my profound grief. Sometimes watching a sad movie will help me connect with my inner pain. Or sometimes watching a happy movie will do the same, as it brings up all the feelings knowing what I missed because of my upbringing…

    for me, it’s the lifelong (thus far at age 48) loss of my own family. I have been watching Little House on the Prairie for hours a day, almost obsessively! It represents those things that I long for most in life: secure, loyal family ties being at the center of it. I see them laughing, smiling, doing things together, and it feels almost alien.

    Being a wife and a mother seems like a matter of course with most women I know. Many of my friends are grandmothers! I’m not even a mother. Sure, I could have had a child and been a single mother many times over. But I want a family the right way…with a husband. And that comes first.

    It feels more impossible to me at times than climbing Mount Everest!

    The more I get into Rori’s tools and interact with the wonderful ladies on this blog, the more I realize just how messed up I was in childhood. That’s not to place blame…only to realize that my need for growth is far deeper than I realized.

    There are parts of my “stranger” that shock and disgust me at times. I want them gone, yesterday! And yet they keep surfacing, like an invisible dragon that breathes fire on my life, ruining situations with men over and over.

    I am trusting God that there is a good man for me, a man who will love me unconditionally and steadily. When I meet MY man, the one who was made for me, I have a feeling that all my weaknesses will fall away effortlessly.

    In the meantime, I consider God to be my husband. I am working on how to receive His love, to let Him be that flawless Lover to me, to love me through all my stubborness, blindness, pain, and rage…

    I wish this same healing and peace for you, too, Rebecca. So let’s just be patient with the process, and love who we are and who we are being refined to become…



  358.  #358Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 7:11 am

    Aurora Girl,

    This is a message to you and the other Sirens from Emoticon.

    Her phone is not allowing her to post right now, so she emailed me, saying, “could u apologize to AG. I feel bad that our game has made her feel so
    negatively about the blog. It is everyones safe haven. I want other sirens to feel safe n if they r getting negative energy from our games im willing to take it elsewhere.”



  359.  #359Starla on May 24, 2012 at 7:12 am

    woohoo i just got a 500 dollar windfall



  360.  #360Aurora Girl on May 24, 2012 at 7:15 am

    FW, Radlove, etc…..

    I’m not asking anyone to change anything they wish to do on the blog…..

    I feel comfortable to say I am simply noting the effect it’s having on me. I want to own it and take responsibility for it.

    Maybe I don’t wish to be in that energy where people are exploring those issues……I’ve seen enough already in my prison work and in my own life and need to move along….20 years of it was plenty….and it doesn’t serve me to engage in it or even be around it anymore……

    I am not on the Siren facebook page nor do I know any of you personally as far as I know. In that way I have only the blog to work with. I think there are dynamics that play out or grow in those other forums that colour the blog….so some of us will have the other information that will allow some comments to make sense and others of us (like me) will only be able to take it at face value…..

    not a problem……again….it’s just up to me to see how much I want to partake when it shifts……

    xo



  361.  #361Femininewoman on May 24, 2012 at 7:15 am

    Wow Lilibee

    Has any one ever experienced someone as sexy when they say “I feel angry”? I have and I have been told that by men. I believe part of the practicing/experimenting is also finding how to express anger in a way that turns on a partner. I believe that is a radical concept.



  362.  #362Starla on May 24, 2012 at 7:16 am

    Aurora Girl never said it was the play fighting. I actually thought she was talking about ME and my interactions here yesterday. But there’s no way to know without her saying, and maybe she doesn’t want to say.

    I feel really triggered, sorry, ladies. I feel like there is this “vote” for drama in all the buzz of assumption.



  363.  #363Starla on May 24, 2012 at 7:18 am

    aaaaaaaaaaaand there is aurora girl speaking for herself.

    i have the weirdest timing *NVs*



  364.  #364Femininewoman on May 24, 2012 at 7:23 am

    AG – I understand



  365.  #365Aurora Girl on May 24, 2012 at 7:31 am

    Maybe it’s just me growing to a point where I feel comfortable saying more about how I feel outloud. In doing so I’m not asking anyone to change anything. I’m just saying I feel…..

    Then it’s up to me to make a decision…..change how I do things….and sometimes ask for what I need.

    I did this with my sweety this past weekend….I felt brave enough to say what was on my feeling landscape….I didn’t want him to fix it….I didn’t want him to do anything but listen. I was just feeling it so loudly in my body that I had to say it outloud.

    His reaction spoke volumes.

    But that’s the point.
    Just because someone feels something and expresses it doesn’t mean we have to do ANYTHING at all. It’s just their feelings…..

    if they ask something of us…..then we need to consider that…

    if it triggers something in US….then for sure we have to own that…..

    so if I’m triggering someone on the blog in some way….

    isn’t that about YOU? πŸ™‚

    what do you think?

    xo
    Aurora



  366.  #366Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 8:03 am

    AG,

    358 – No, you are right. We do not want to create a negative dynamic here. I apologize and we will keep it off the blog.

    I feel curious…what kind of prison work did you do? I have corresponded with men in prison 22 years…some romantically, and some just to be a light in their dark lives.



  367.  #367Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 8:04 am

    AG,

    363 – I feel glad you are telling us how you feel. In this case, I feel sure you are right. I WANT to change when I am upsetting other people.



  368.  #368Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 8:05 am

    Starla,

    360 – She did say it was specifically our gansta talk in a previous post.



  369.  #369Rose on May 24, 2012 at 8:14 am

    Jessie!! I so loved reading about you receiving from your beau..I felt so good and smiley reading about your boy feeling happy and receiving from the universe…wow its so amazing how everything manages to fall into place…

    aww I loved what you said about aging..so true, we must value our lives all the things around us and people we love in our lives..

    Hugs xoxo



  370.  #370Rori Raye on May 24, 2012 at 9:11 am

    Tereana – if this is a qustoin you get asked a lot – please sit down and write out a FEELING MESSAGE answer. If you’re going to be “short” and shut down with every person who asks you this question – what is that going to get you? Nothing. This has nothing to do with boundaries – this is about “walls” – go take a look at my video on it – http://www.coachrori.com…Love, Rori



  371.  #371Aurora Girl on May 24, 2012 at 9:27 am

    365 Radlove
    because you asked…..and I’m comfortable sharing…but on this public blog only in a manner that feels safe….

    I think I’ve shared this before so forgive any repetition…

    I worked in the prison system in Canada with both federal and provincial inmates in a health care/mental health position shall we say working on the “front line” with men and women inmates both with groups of them and individually, during crisis, and on an everyday. I also supported correctional staff on the front line in the daily work. I did this for 20 years. Now I continue to have some of this clientele to work with but not in prisons, in the community. But I work with mostly non offenders now in a mental health/health service provision.

    And yes I read many many letters between inmates and those who wrote to them, as part of the screening process and because they asked me to. I am familiar with the dynamic of the correspondence of inmates with their friends/girlfriends/boyfriends on the “outside” as we called it.

    That stuff, that work doesn’t trigger me.

    But I see that other stuff does.
    And that’s my work in progress.
    When I stumble across stuff that triggers me I use to stuff it.
    Then I started to acknowledge it and avoid it or work through it.
    Now it seems I’m starting to say it out loud. Using FMs is a challenge sometimes.

    This blog helps with that.
    FMs challenge me to hear what I just said and really own it….and maybe understand it….maybe understand the connection to my body….

    saying the FMs outloud so someone hears them (sweety, a friend…..on a blog) feels like it brings up vulnerability

    and the chance to decide if I have to do anything with it.

    lol…..it’s like in funny way saying to myself…

    Self: “Chickie you’re busted. This feeling is real. Ha! you just said it out loud…….now what”..

    xo
    Aurora



  372.  #372Rori Raye on May 24, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Ramona – Have you read all these 650 posts here? My first take is to ask you if you have a generally suspicious nature when it comes to men. Do you assume they have a hidden agenda, and mean to hurt you? It takes a while to get to know someone. To want to write out your feelings about someone (me, too – I’m not for everyone) is great Feeling Message practice – but when we focus on our “opinions,” and they seem more important than our feelings (perhaps you feel disappointed by me?) that’s your clue that you’re pushing love away before it even gets a chance to show up for you. I don’t want to be responding to the “squeaky wheel” and aren’t interested in my defenses getting some action – and I do want to respond to anyone in moderation as much as I can. Hope you find something here that’s helpful for you. Love, Rori



  373.  #373Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Ramona,

    322 – Wow, I feel yucky reading your post! I’ve been learning from Rori for three years now, and she and her work have been ABSOLUTELY LIFE CHANGING!!!

    I feel protective of Rori. She is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met, and she very generously gives of her time to all, far more than any relationship coach I’ve seen! But even if she didn’t, her programs are well worth their cost!

    I hope for your wellbeing that you give her a chance, because she is amazing!



  374.  #374Sassy on May 24, 2012 at 10:01 am

    I feel sad, discouraged and very very unloved today. I feel like I have to always chase everyone for attention and acknowledgement. I feel used, as if the only reason anyone, even my girls, contacts me is to do something for them.
    I don’t mind helping people, serving them, whatever, but I would like to feel that someone just wants to BE with me.



  375.  #375Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Aurora Girl,

    371 – Thank you for sharing! I feel impressed! That is some tough work! Are you a psychologist?

    Working with people in prison sure changes your life’s perspective, huh? I didn’t get paid for it. At times I feel like they were all wasted years, but I know they weren’t.

    As far as anger being triggering, yes, it is to all of us, I think. What comes up in me when I hear yelling and swearing and nasty talk is fear, more than anything, and, secondarily, anger.

    I was yelled at in childhood so routinely that I have made a study of standing in the face of anger and working on getting to the point where I DON’T feel triggered to fear and anger.

    My ultimate goal is to have someone yell or swear at me and me completely feel calm and at peace as I respond in feeling messages.

    Because if you think about it, a person in an angry state is a person who is not well emotionally. Or shall I speak for myself? I struggle with anger, and when I lose my temper, I know it is not healthy. There.

    So I try to foster an attitude of feeling sad for someone in anger, knowing they have a lot of inner turmoil that needs healing.

    I used to literally tremble when someone yelled at me. There was no fight syndrome – it was strictly flight syndrome. I have learned much more how to stand up for my lil girl in a mature way.

    A major breakthrough came a year or so ago when Daria walked me thru an angry interchange on the blog. While a fight was raging among other Sirens, I was allowing the lil girl to arise for the very first time, posting stuff like, “I feel scared. Please don’t hit me.”

    I know some of the women who didn’t understand what I was doing thought I was the ultimate wimp. But it was a major breakthrough, and most of the time I quickly channel my instinctive fear into healthy anger or simply into compassion.

    It was important for me to do this, because my Dad’s angry eyes are still burned into my mind’s eyes, and I am no longer in fear of him or his memory.



  376.  #376Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 10:13 am

    {{{Rori}}}

    372



  377.  #377Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 10:20 am

    {{{Sassy}}}

    374



  378.  #378Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 10:38 am

    Where did all my playmates go? :o)



  379.  #379Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Aaaaaaaaaaaah at last I have the blog aaaall to myself!

    Let’s see, now no one can see…it’s my little secret. Hmmm. Radlove, you are wonderful!

    Shhh! Don’t tell no one!



  380.  #380Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Rori,

    372 – I admire how you went straight to being compassionate to help Ramona, even in the face of being insulted.



  381.  #381Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 10:50 am

    “Troublesome people are people in trouble.”



  382.  #382Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Guess what?!?! I’m going to meet another Siren!

    Emoticon and I were emailing, and we realized we live less than an hour’s drive from each other!!! So we are going to meet in the next couple of weeks! yay! I love meeting other Sirens! i wish I could meet you all, especially that Rori lady!



  383.  #383Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 11:35 am

    It’s been 1.5 hours! Where is everyone? πŸ™



  384.  #384April Rose on May 24, 2012 at 11:46 am

    Just a quick ‘hi’ and ‘bye’. Got a date ……



  385.  #385Sassy on May 24, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    New thread



  386.  #386Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 12:15 pm


  387.  #387Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    Sassy,

    385 – Aha! I should have known!



  388.  #388Tereana on May 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    Emoticon – Thank you for your comment in #321!

    Jessie1000 – I loved your post in 327! That was so beautifully written, I thought maybe you had copied it from somewhere else : )

    And oddly, I was thinking/feeling something similar today. Like what am I going to be really happy and proud of when I reach the end of my life? What am I going to be grateful that I spent my energy and time on, and what will be considered a “waste”? I believe that nothing we do is ever really wasted – even our “mistakes.” But we can also consciously choose to focus on that which is most important and that feeds us instead of draining us. We can fill our lives with good things that fill us up, or we can chase after the “objects” that seem to make us feel good, but that don’t really hold any sustaining qualities (i.e. the good car, the nice house, the facelift, the whatever).

    Here is to what is most important to us…

    Thank you for your beautiful thoughts!!



  389.  #389Tereana on May 24, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Hrmmm…I feel really weird and oddly singled out by Rori’s response to me in #370. I feel even embarrassed and slightly ashamed. Like maybe I did something “wrong.” But I disagree.

    Yes, the question of “what brought me” to where I live now is a very common question, and honestly, it is completely innocent on the part of the people who ask it. Heck, I’ve even asked other people the same question. And whether it is about boundaries or about walls is irrelevant to me. I respect my feelings in that I DON’T like talking about it very much.

    But my response always varies, depending on the situation, who’s asking, how well I know them, my mood, and how much I feel comfortable revealing in that moment.

    Honestly, you don’t know me, Rori. You do not know my reasons or my motives in moving, and right now it is a feeling and a reason that I want to protect. Maybe it will be good to share it some time, but right now is not the time, and I trust my body and my intuition to tell me that that is true.

    What I am trying to say here is that I honor myself, and I appreciate that the man who was sitting across from me at the table honored me, too.

    In my personal opinion, I gave a response that was True for me, and even though it might not have been a “feeling message,” it left me with the feeling of safety that means that when or if I get to know the person further, there can be opportunity for me to open up and them know more about who I am and why I have made the choices that I have made.

    Of course, I am working on breathing and entertaining the thought that there could be other ways for me to honor my feelings in the moment. There are infinite possibilities. But I was not merely “short” with him. I looked at him, and I smiled when I said it. There was no malice or “walls” in my opinion. But I honor and recognize the fact that you weren’t there, you are not me, and you do not know 100% of the situation. I do value your input….



  390.  #390Radlove on May 24, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Tereana,

    389 – I didn’t understand the question of the man to begin with, and I’m not asking you to explain.

    Let me give you my interpretation of Rori’s response from my perspective…You were asked something you didn’t feel comfortable answering, for whatever reason. When a man asks me a question I don’t want to answer, such as, “When is the last time you had sex?”, I respond, “I feel uncomfortable answering that. That feels personal.”

    The difference between that and saying something like, “Sometime within the last century”, is that my first response is unzipping my heart, speaking my FEELINGS surrounding the question…while the second answer might leave a man feeling pushed away, like a wall.

    What do you think/feel?



  391.  #391Emerson on May 25, 2012 at 12:55 am

    I”m so behind ladies…will try to catch up over the weekend. I’ve been a bit “off the grid” so I don’t know what is going on with all of you….

    I’ve had a challenging day feeling like all guys out there are chumps and “bad men”

    Hmmphf. Knowing it’s not true, but losing faith and feeling hopeless. πŸ™