The Solution Is In Changing What You’re Tolerating – Not In Changing Yourself

Siren Sanctuary1
This is a conversation from the Siren Island private Facebook group , the live coaching part of The Siren Sanctuary Membership (I have permission to publish it, because it’s so helpful!) beginning with Worksheet #1 you’ll receive to get you started on Siren Island at Day 1:
Hi Rori,
 
Here are my answers, recently I’ve been working so much on self development, subconscious beliefs, tapping and Law Of Attraction that I don’t know if I am going into my thinking masculine energy….
 
*Where do you feel your “Inner Boy” in your body?
 
in my stomach, rising up high
 
* How comfortable do you feel when tapping into your boy energy?
 
really comfortable because I am so used to doing, my job involves me being in some sort of control, so its not always easy getting away from boy energy

* Describe a time when your boy hesitated to kick in and take care of you.
 
When I wanted to be my ‘safe’ self and keep my barriers up and not be vulnerable. I was vulnerable and used feeling messages and got hurt and my boy energy with walls didn’t come up in time
* Does that happen frequently?
 
sometimes, trying to work on breaking the walls
 
* What kind of excuses does your boy use when he doesn’t help you out?
 
You should have known better, but I know thats not true
 
*When is a time your boy was right there, ready when you needed?
 
when I was stressed and overwhelmed and needed to do lots of things, sort things out
 
*How did that make you feel?
 
Good, when it got done
 

My Answer to “Z”:

Hi, this is Rori, and thank you so much for sending this to me! There’s a lot in your answers here that we can use to help you on Siren Island.
 
The thing that stands out for me is this: “When I wanted to be my ‘safe’ self and keep my barriers up and not be vulnerable. I was vulnerable and used feeling messages and got hurt and my boy energy with walls didn’t come up in time…”
 
In The Siren methodology – you don’t want to put up barriers or walls ever.
I know this sounds weird – yet, the best way to protect yourself is to be completely open.
 
What happened when you used the Feeling Message and got hurt – if you could remember the exact words and experience – we can go over it with you, moment by moment and give you fresh new words for next time.
 
Usually, what backfires is that we think we’re using Feeling messages, but we’re not really.
Learning to use them so they are TRUE for you is a big step.
 
May I post your Worksheet answers and my answer, so we can begin there?
 
Love, Rori

Z writes back:

 
Hi! Yes I’d love for you to post them up!
 
When I used feeling messages that show my sadder feelings, or my desires of wanting to do something, wanting something, I’m put down for those desires or feeling that way.
 
For example, ‘I’d love to go away this weekend!….’Whatever, shut up, you always want to go out’
 
‘I feel so peaceful being in nature’…‘Yh whatever’ ….
 
‘I feel I want a holiday/to go out to eat’…. ‘It’s not going to happen’
 
‘I feel really sad’…..‘Shut up, you’re always complaining’
 
‘I feel lonely’….‘Oh shut up (then turns away, withdraws completely, until I do some deep work on myself like leaning on the wall and bringing my energy up)

My Answer:

Z – here’s your firm answer – in CAPS: ANY MAN WHO RESPONDS TO YOU THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IS WORTHLESS TO YOU!
DROP HIM IMMEDIATELY.
WALK AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE STANDING.
NEVER LOOK BACK.
Any man who uses the words “Shut Up” more than once, after which he has profusely apologized, is not worth your time.
 
The first requirement here is to ONLY spend even a MOMENT with a man who completely appreciates you, thinks you’re the greatest thing ever, and is really, truly concerned about how you feel.
 
Feeling messages (yours are very good quality – unless underneath you’re trying to GET something….and we’ll work on that) are the way to smoke out a man’s true abilities to be a good partner for you.
Simple!
 
Love, Rori
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