The Theme Park Of YOU – StuckLand

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IMG_0577croppedblurA note about stuckness:

Do you feel like you’re stuck on one ride in your Theme Park?

Playing one role in your art work? Stuck with one media, one trick, one way, one man, one anything?

Do you feel like you always go to the same PLACE in you? the same part of your Theme Park? Do you like to hang in one corner of it and ignore the rest?

Look around you.

Every single thing – is it all mushed together? Or does each little, small, minute thing stand out?

Do you eat and swallow without tasting, look without seeing things, hear without distinguishing sounds?

Stuck is – so easy to fix!

You simply cannot become stuck if you’re aware of all the aspects of your Theme Park.

You cannot become stuck if you keep loving yourself no matter what. Too cool for that. Gotta go. Gotta keep appreciating, creating, loving, beingdoing – yes – DOING!

This is where your feminine desires and leanings simply “become” the “action”  – yes, technically carried out by your “boy” energy, but completely inspired by your feminine, organic, soul-deep energy.

Stuckness is just sitting down and building your ball and chain – and – you can even appreciate that!

You can say – wow, I’m feeling stuck. I’m just stuck here in the mud of my thoughts and my past and my future, and what isn’t here right now…and…I can appreciate that. I can embrace that. I can love my stuckness.

And the moment you let that awareness get felt – you are no longer stuck. Technically – you are moving…Go for it!!

Love, Rori

 

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18 Comments

  1.  #1Femininewoman on July 11, 2016 at 11:14 am

    What an interesting concept. The ball and chain is certainly not attractive



  2.  #2Melissa on July 11, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    Wow I needed that. That’s how I have been feeling. Have had one crazy thing happen after another. Some of it involved my doing and some not. I can start to hate myself for these clumsy sloppy decisions and actions or embrace as you said



  3.  #3Femininewoman on July 12, 2016 at 7:42 am

    Thank you for this

    “When you find yourself stuck, or afraid, ask yourself what road you’re on.

    You may answer – I’m in love! I have a great career! I couldn’t be happier! Or I’m safe and fine, I don’t need a relationship, I don’t need someone else to love me, I love myself just plenty, I don’t need more money. Or I don’t have time for all this. I’m busy, I’m tooling down my road just fine, and, Rori, what do you know about it anyway?

    Okay, so you know what’s up. You’ve made your choice, and it feels good, and here you are, and you’re right – you don’t need me.

    And if you answer I’m tired of the same-old-same-old. I’m tired of the souped-up cars and the dry runs and the circles, then, maybe, you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain by choosing “Better” and “Scary What I Really Want,” than “Safe” and “Familiar.”

    So, put on your new hat. The one marked “Adventurer!”

    Imagine that your emotions, your instincts, your heart rhythms, are a beautiful, powerful Horse you can ride across the landscape of your life. Your Horse knows the way, clean and clear, to where you want to go. And if you should ever steer it wrong, it knows the way back.

    Now, sit your Horse tall and proud. You are about to let the whole world see you shake from fear, thrill from excitement, breathe hard from anticipation, tense up from the knot in your throat and shimmer from the hope in your eyes.

    You are about to let go. The Horse of your emotions, your instincts, your connection to life, your heart, is feeling feisty. You’re about to let your Horse run free.

    Imagine doing it. Imagine tolerating the fear, the excitement, the heavy breathing, the tension, the shimmer. Imagine riding the Horse somewhere new and feeling everything you’re feeling.

    Believe that anytime you want, you can stop. Yes, you can stop. You can say No, turn back, go forward, take a rest. You can. You can say No when it doesn’t feel right, and you can say Yes when it feels right.

    Sometimes it can feel right, but it’s just a little (okay, a lot) scary. Don’t let that stop you! Fear feels way different when you’re out there riding the Horse than it does when you’re stuck stock still. Fear is many things, and it wears many faces, and we build all kinds of defenses on top of it to pretend it isn’t there or hide it away, or fight it.

    If you don’t believe Adventurers feel fear, you’ve been sitting in the safe dead-end too long. Fear is part of the Highway of Love. Bring yours along with you for the ride. Soon, it’ll get tired and old, and you’ll be too busy having fun to even notice if it’s there or not.

    So, wear your Adventurer hat (yes, you have one!), take along all your baggage, and imagine the exhilaration of having what you want.

    Then, kiss your Horse, and let it take you somewhere new…



  4.  #4Angela on July 12, 2016 at 5:33 pm

    Rori and Sirens I need your help.
    I feel like a bit of guidance would help me feel more confident right now.
    Well, where do I start? For 3 years i was in a relationship with a man, there was always arguing, jealousy from my part, i tried working on those issues but it was hard, I tried radically accepting him like Rori recommended, but I felt so drained at the end, he wouldn’t help around the house, rarely complimented me or kissed me, had momenst of rage where he broke my property, and the worst part that the second year of our relationship he stopped having sex with me. I begged and pleaded for it most nights. I felt so low so sad inside, I wanted to leave everyday but stayed because i thought he loves me and thats enough .Even if there is no sex i need to stay i can love him more. In the years we were together he never bought me gifts, never took me on nice trips, not that that is super important but come on. His reasons were that i didn’t deserve it. Or had to prove it to him to deserve it.

    I know i made terrible mistakes, i would say things that were hurtful and i still dont know why i sad mean things. Well it was maybe my lack of inner happiness. One day we had a huge argument and that was the moment that he left me for good, he had enough and walked out

    I was devastated Rori and sirens, the craziness the obsession in me took over I would call him and plead for him to come back. I am so ashamed now.
    He said no i don’t love u anymore. Leave me alone or I am getting a restraining order. I left it at that. 2 weeks later he gets a new girlfriend .

    I realized that when he left I was either going to sink lower into my despair let it control me or find out why i felt i was nothing without him, that his opinion of me matter more than my own.
    I had two choices touch the pain touch my shame my guilt at being toxic, touch all of the deep feelings and make peace with them, finally, or continue the obsession.
    I chose to go inside myself, to have faith . It is really a struggle everyday. But it feels beautiful to believe i deserve love for myself and from others.

    When i picked myself up i decided that i had to start circular dating.
    To feel wanted again.
    I am doing it. I am also working on this neediness inside me.
    I have gone on dates with some men.
    What i need help now is with this next part.
    Out of all of the guys there is one who i feel more attracted to. We have gone on a few dates now.
    The first day he picked me up he was such a gentleman. i am shy by nature and we both sat in silence i tried to be the girl, most of the time, and lean back the problem was that he would do it too.
    But the funny thing is that he said he enjoyed the silence
    He then asked me out on a second date, I let him kiss me. I let him lead, He would hold my hand kiss it. I felt comfortable letting him in. I feel peace in his presence . He doesn’t try to fill the silence in with meaningless conversation.
    He is a gentleman.

    The problem is he knows what he wants. He speaks of a relationship too soon.He says that from now on it can only go to one direction: us being to gather in the future.
    TO that i replied, i like you too, i feel we should see how it goes.
    My problem is the following ,
    I feel his uneasiness when he asks me if i am dating other men. i just change the topic is he asks me if i am still dating other people. Dont know what to do? Do i drop them ?Do i get committed to this guy ?
    Also I dont initiate contact i dont call men or text them first.
    He says that this bothers him; That it confuses him when i dont text him.
    And that he wants me to message him sometimes. I feel off balance dont know how to do it without putting too much energy into it.
    He is dreamy, sexy, kind the dream man ,for now . My fear sometimes creeps in and tells me i am not ready for this, That i will mess it up that i have to heal first.
    Rori can i be a mess and still be loved by men? I mean i had terrible jealousy and unhappiness in my past relationship. Is it possible for me to heal that now with someone else by my side?
    Is that even possible or am i getting into trouble?
    I want to trust in what he says that he sees a future with me but wont pressure me.
    I am also going on a trip out of the country my own idea i feel i need to do something good for myself.
    He has asked me if its possible to cancel, and i replied with no that trip will make me feel amazing and i want it.
    What do i do? I want to believe this man showed up for a reason , to treat me nice even if i made terrible mistakes in the past i am still lovable and i deserve a sexy kind beautiful man.
    For now will see how it goes?
    Am i right to choose this ?



  5.  #5Femininewoman on July 13, 2016 at 6:01 am

    Angela I’d say once in a while text him and see what happens.



  6.  #6Millie on July 13, 2016 at 1:23 pm

    Angela!!
    Lovely siren I so enjoyed reading about your journey. The days where you loved that man more than yourself, to now, having grown by leaps and bounds. I feel joyful hearing about your new man and boy does he sound very very masculine, which in turn will balance with such immense feminine energy as you seem to be exuding right now. Leaning back is so powerful, but in my own experience there is a point of leaning back too much to where you aren’t in the “space.” I have had men tell me that they didn’t feel I was interested because I was leaning back so much out of fear of leaning forward and pushing someone away. I’m not sure this will happen in your case, but I can say I have heard Dr. Pat Allen say that it is ok to reciprocate on a 2 to 1 ratio. Meaning he does most of the initiating and for every two times he does it you can reach out once. She advises this is very balanced especially in a committed relationship, which I know you are saying you are not ready for yet. If I were in your shoes, I would let this man know how happy I feel in his presence and am excited to explore the idea of a committed relationship with him although I don’t feel ready to agree to that now. How long have you been dating him? You could also always do the no-boyfriend speech (I think there are posts on this in the Rori archives) where you don’t fully commit until you are engaged. This keeps your value high, your options open, and let’s you choose when your ready. I hope I’m not sounding too advicey, just felt very inspired by your journey! Hope this is helpful!



  7.  #7Liquid Light on July 13, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    I agree with Millie. Very impressive turnaround, Angela! You really are getting the hang of this siren stuff! 🙂



  8.  #8Angela on July 13, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    sirens! It truly was all a dream.
    It was too good to be true.
    While Browsing through his pics online I noticed he had crossed out, Photoshop, his ring finger out of the picture.
    He’s married!
    When I brought it up he said it wasn’t true. That I was being irrational.
    But my gut feeling is telling me he is.
    Oh man he’s toxic
    Why did I think this magic was real?
    No wonder he wouldn’t contact me .
    Oh I’m not devastated but In a state of shock.
    Why is this happening to me now?
    Maybe I truly must be single for a while and totally love myself before.
    He keeps denying it. When I asked if he could prove it by taking me to his place he said no. That it was too soon.
    So I walked away. I’m feeling confused, vulnerable but I’m leaving on a trip that I will fully enjoy only for myself.
    Oh sirens



  9.  #9MissStix on July 13, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    Angela

    It doesn’t have to be too good to be true… You are worthy of all the wonderful attention and affection. Regardless of that, the men out there have infinite combinations of greatness and flawedness. How they treat you is just one of infinite greatnesses and you will find it within any number of men along with their flawednesses.
    You get to sort of lean back, loving yourself, being surprised and feeling all the wonders of it all (pleasant and unpleasant alike) and also observing. Feeling your way through and paying attention to where you want to be and don’t want to be. And then being there or making sure you’re not being there. Having your own back…
    Knowing you are worthy of proactive love.

    Too good to be true can be reframed and become…Something feels off. Which isn’t about you and doesn’t hinge on how much good could be true in your life.



  10.  #10Angela on July 13, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    I loved your comment! It sounds so true and feels better to see it this way.



  11.  #11MissStix on July 13, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    The learning never ends and I feel thrilled and excited for upcoming events. My July weekends have been luxurious and will continue to be so. It’s been raining so camping with fire permitted looks promising. I have a fabulous event to attend this weekend. I get to dress to the nines and the man is coming with me. This one is sort of my thing with some other people and he chose to come with us. I have a completely brand new dress, shoes, jewelry etc etc 🙂
    My mission is to soak it all up…The people, the energy, the gorgeous surroundings. To feel the joy and exuberant energy. Absorb and radiate 🙂
    And connect. Yes I want to connect.



  12.  #12MissStix on July 13, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    Happy if I can lend a positive spin 🙂



  13.  #13MissStix on July 13, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    I feel such cravings for surprise and joy and the charge of being surrounded by beauty.



  14.  #14Angela on July 13, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    *MIssStix



  15.  #15Femininewoman on July 13, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Yea Angela that’s why I believe in reaching out sometimes. If he is really available for you it won’t cause too much issues. If it does then pay close attention. Him leaning back and then asking you to initiate was what stood out to me in your comments. He should be working hard to impress you and it just seems he wasn’t.



  16.  #16Millie on July 13, 2016 at 11:23 pm

    Wow Angela– Didn’t see that coming! Guess I just don’t have that sixth sense when it comes to guys :/

    This is a great post… I can totally relate to feeling stuck, in fact I feel stuck now. I have a good job, but I don’t see it going anywhere. The idea of what’s next? frightens me a bit because I really don’t know what is. Or I mean, what I want to be next. Arrows are all pointing to me starting my own business and I’m scared to do that. I’m scared because I’m not blessed with great social skills. People tend to ignore and walk away from me. What if I commit to doing this and no one will help me? Or I’ve burned too many bridges, or people don’t take me seriously, or I’m entering something I know nothing about and end up wasting a ton of money I didn’t have in the first place? I can’t decide what my product would be like either. I don’t feel 100% confident in any idea right now. So, I feel stuck. I also don’t feel like I’m saving as much money as I’d like. I owe too much, I’m trying to reconsider my spending, sacrifice now, to have what I want later? I feel limited. I feel tied to my job in order to perpetuate the cycle of bills. Constantly trying to get ahead of myself. I know my financial choices are to blame for this. It’s hard to see a future or know what I want to do right now. I don’t like being alone so much, that craving for intimacy just hasn’t been satiated. I have two dates this weekend with nice guys. Let’s see what happens.



  17.  #17Indigo on July 15, 2016 at 12:11 am

    Angela,

    What I can say is that with the right guy you will have a sense of peace about contacting him or not contacting him, knowing that these small things will not destroy the relationship. The right man will not be scared off by this alone.

    Don’t lose heart because this man was married. It is normal to go through many unsuitable men on the way to finding your dream man. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist or that you are unworthy of love 🙂



  18.  #18Angela on July 15, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    Sirens, your words feel so soothing I my heart.
    Thank you for the support.
    I do believe I Will one days meet the great man I deserve .