To Get Him Back – Love Is Not The Same As Attraction, So Line Them Up Together This Way

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If you can consider this – the entire Modern Siren method is not strategic in “getting him back.”

And yet – it works!

It is based 100% on literally “giving up” on a man, and getting on with YOU. This is not as easy as it sounds.

It means to stop thinking about, stop talking about, stop wondering about a man – because the moment we “give energy” to him by even thinking about him, I believe he can feel it – with or without a text or obvious “chasing with neediness.”

This is all you have with a long-distance situation – your thoughts and energy.

There is no way to do this in an instant.

This is a self-love project.

This is a project where you become aware of where your thoughts and energy are at all times, and move them away from him consciously, without judging yourself.

It’s a mixture of being “warm” if he ever shows up or writes (no matter how angry and frustrated you feel) – and keeping “distance” by completely not caring what’s going on with him when he’s NOT showing up.

This is completely counter-intuitive.

Literally, when we feel needy – he can feel it. When we feel full of ourselves, happy, busy, satisfied, Circular Dating (to improve OURSELVES and our communication, our vibe, expression and attitude, and therefore attract better men) – he can feel that.

The key here, and the entire Modern Siren method is based on ATTRACTION.

This is not the same as “love.”

Attraction is a “pull.”

If a man doesn’t feel a “pull” toward us, he won’t show up. He can love us terrifically, but if he doesn’t feel a pull, for whatever reason, he stays back. That’s why answering your questions about his feelings for you are impossible to answer, or mean nothing.

He can love you more than everyone, he can have a terrific sexual attraction for you – AND, if he doesn’t feel a strong enough emotional pull to you, he’ll stay back and find something else to do. This is how men work. (We work that way, too, if you think about it!)

AND – the only control you have over the emotional attraction you create in the world (with clients, with producers, with money, with men, with friends…) is how you handle all your feelings inside of you – without EVER “stuffing them down.

Yes, this is self-love, self-mastery, self-awareness – this is what self-development is all about. Meditation, yoga – all of these are Tools to reach this place of self-awareness where you can feel EVERYTHING – and still only take the ACTIONS that best serve you.

Calling, texting, thinking and talking about a man, etc. that are not RESPONSES to something a man initiates, ALL express neediness, desperation, and give off a vibe to a man that instinctively does the opposite of attract him. It literally repels him.

So, for us to be angry with a man because he is not feeling an emotional attraction pull is useless. It bounces back to us – and how we are feeling needy and desperate – and just spirals everything down.

What’s important to note is that what we feel is usually lonely. sad. Feeling these things is exactly what we need to do, and then we need to solve THOSE needs for ourselves, rather than invest in being upset with any man or anyone or anything that seems to be “withholding” from us.

That just feeds our need to “make something happen”

So – this is ALL an “inner game.”

I say you can’t make a mistake, because what you do makes no difference, and will never get you what you want until you have some solid sense of how you are working inside and what’s making you do the things you do – everything has to come from inside you – and has to be understood.

It’s you that needs understanding, not a man, because he will follow your lead, if he’s meant to be with you.

I am spiritual based, and so I believe that if a man is not meant to be with you, there’s literally NOTHING you can do to change that.

It makes it way easier to “just let go of trying to make something happen.”

All of this is counter-intuitive.

You are used to making things happen, to “manifesting.” It actually works completely the opposite.

You cannot control another human. You can, however repel him with actions that come from real, genuine, lovely feelings like neediness and loneliness and unmet emotional needs if those actions come from a masculine place of “doing” and leaning forward.

The Modern Siren method is all about creating an attraction PULL. It takes a bit of practice to get used to this way of being…because you cannot create an attraction pull by “trying” or “doing” or wanting –you create it by stepping back, turning around (as we did) and moving toward anything that makes you happy and makes you feel good.

While this practice is processing – you will feel pain. The pain of loss, the pain of “shift” – all of it. I cannot soften that, anymore than I can soften my own feelings of pain, or those of my friends, when they are feeling pain. What we can all do is learn to Fall in Love with our pain, with our anger and everything else we feel – and, you’ll begin to experience how that moves the pain through much more quickly.

Men can turn around on a dime.

They forget what happened 5 minutes ago, if what’s happening right this minute triggers another feeling. This is why I don’t like unpredictable men, or men who instinctively choose to “outgirl you.”

We all have to learn how to have Heroic conversations that are risky and dangerous and deep – and it takes serious skills to put those words together in the middle of an intense moment. It’s also very painful to simply STOP doing whatever we’re used to doing to make something happen.

To step back, turn around, focus on US, and forget about any man who isn’t showing up. It’s not his fault, and it’s not yours. It just happened.

That’s what I wish for you – an ongoing learning where things just magically begin to fall into place once you learn to Lean Back, find your feelings, sit inside your feelings, your body, your heart, your soul, and notice when you feel pulled outside yourself by someone else.

Then, the work of learning to NOT get pulled outside ourselves, or to go back INSIDE ourselves when we’ve been pulled outside begins!

It’s, again, not a quick fix, and I encourage you to invest in a coach you can afford and love working with longer term.

I encourage you to spend the next few months totally on you and your relationship with YOU.

Yes, I know, it doesn’t sound like fun, but it CAN be – with Circular Dating as your “Free Therapy.”

Go here to “Choose-Your-Coach” ->

Love, Rori

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