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  1.  #1Louise on July 8, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    Hi Rori, I’ve been doing your programs over the past year and learning a lot. A couple of things I need to know is:

    There must be some men who do not “come back”‘ to you when you lean back/circular date/move on w your life etc. They can’t all possibly be positively affected yet I’ve never heard you say this. With your clients what has been the success rate?

    Also in all yr material you talk about how your man went offish before you got engaged and then two weeks after doing your stuff he asked you to marry him. But in yr program, I was re-listening to last night, you talk abt how he’d come home and talk to your daughter and the cat but ignore you.

    Did this happen twice?

    The man that I love has been, yet again, acting cold, disinterested, uncommitted yet only weeks ago he was talking about the rest of our lives etc. He says he “loves me to bits” but worries that he’s caused me pain; or he has lost the connection; or doesn’t feel in love anymore….. He’s 41 years old yet acting like a juvenile. I’m quite annoyed as he has really been putting me thru the ringer and I’m an amazing woman. We would have a fantastic life if he would just stop complicating things and enjoy it.

    After listening to your programs, again, I feel a lot stronger. I actually feel quite fed up with him and his nonsense. I’m sick of it and it’s not making me happy nor am I having any fun or joy with him at all. So I’m just leaving him to it. I’m not contacting him, I have made it clear that I love him but have had enough of his fluctuating feelings and on/off behaviour. He can either commit to me or go away.

    This week he has been calling me, sending txts but I don’t think he’s going to realise what he’s losing and commit to me. I just don’t think it works on all men and he’s probably one that it won’t work on.

    Either way I have a life to get on with, with or without him and that is what I’m focusing on. Look forward to your reply Rori.



  2.  #2Rachel on July 8, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    Dear Roi,
    I was following your blog for some time, and also saw your DVDs. I now turn to you for advise.
    I was seeing this man for five months. It was before I saw your DVDs, and we dated exclusively. After five months he told me he feels confused and nervous. He cares for me, and has feelings for me, but not the kind that he think he should have after five months, and he does not want me to develop expectations. He wanted to break up. I told him I miss him, and think that things could have worked out between us, but that I am going to think about my future and date other men. It has been 10 days since then he writes to me every day. Over the w-d he wanted to meet. I acted as if we were friends, but he wanted to hug me, and kiss me, and call me in nicknames. I did not fully cooperate, but felt confused. I know that he is searching online for other dates. I am confused and do not know what to do. Shall I tell him to stop writing to me? I am afraid that if he continues to write I will all the time him that he comes back. I would appreciate your good advice. Rachel



  3.  #3Rori Raye on July 9, 2010 at 8:59 am

    Louise – After we were married – I slid back to my old patterns, and the marriage went into the toilet. I was able to turn it around in weeks – but there were years of awfulness before I figured it out. I had no help, no Rori Raye to show me the way, therapists made things worse, I had to make it up as I went along and confront my own insecurities and fears of intimacy. Either a man will show up big time (and of course he’ll do his back-and-forth rubber band thing – we do that too – but he’ll show up) OR you’ll be BORED with his inability to do so. I feel your fed-upness, and I also hear your anger. If you can process into that, and get a bigger picture so that you’re not all involved with him emotionally (the anger is your clue that you are) – and Circular Date – things will get clear for you. Love, Rori



  4.  #4Rori Raye on July 9, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Rachel – I know how hard this is – but if you CAN just DATE him AND date other men – you MUST Circular Date with real dates! – then it might work. But if you can’t, if you’re too attached, then I’d end it with him. Otherwise, you’re damaging yourself by sitting stuck, waiting for him. One of my clients has worked with a difficult man like this, alternately being exclusive with him and Circular Dating him – and both of them have processed and worked through much of their fears and gotten closer…in most ways – this is all about you…it worked for my client…let me know how you’re doing. Love, Rori



  5.  #5Brenda on July 9, 2010 at 11:05 am

    Louise and Rachel,

    Of course I totally agree with everything Rori told you. Beyond that, what I see is as soon as you start applying Rori’s tools by leaning back, not contacting, letting the relationship go, your men start stepping up by contacting you more.

    It seems the giving up the relationship is a common ingredient before the relationship kicks into healthy gear! When you give up and walk away, that is when the men start to respond, true to Rori’s tools! You have shifted your vibe, and they notice! You have upped your degree of difficulty at the moment you turn on your heel and say, “Enough of this! I’m not going to sit around moping while you decide whether or not you’re going to grow up!”

    Just keep leaning back and circular dating!

    Rori is a very intelligent, wise lady and she is good at what she does! 🙂



  6.  #6Jacqueline on July 9, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Hi, Rori! I got out of a 10 year relationship with a married man – who had left his wife (who had cancer so he “couldn’t” divorce her, even the psychiatrist we saw agreed”) but did move out, told me we’d marry, etc; and I realize I “made up” a great deal of the relationship. But he said in WORDS all the stuff I was making up and/or believing – at the very end there was some I’m not sure stuff, but after 8 years? didn’t really hear it. Yet two years after his wife died he marries someone he told me was a psycho/lunatic b****. Now she’s 1/2 his age – the same as his daughter and he had custody of three grandchildren and needed a babysitter, but still? He MARRIED her, with her having 2 small children as well. Where is the man who was gonna show them, have what he wanted – me and tell them to kiss his ass?!!!

    I see I “managed” him like I managed at my job, and have moved up to a pretty boring guy….lol….

    But I’ve got a LOT of unresolved issues with the ten year thing, the bad advice from a dr. thing, the he let his girlfriend break up with me thing – she emailed me and he just sat back and watched, etc. And I want to tell HIM all this, and yet I know it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference.

    So, I need someone to tell me how to stop the feeling of wanting to interogate him (the next girlfriend lived 1 1/2 miles from me? where’d he find her???), why’d he marry her, etc. AND how to be okay with not ending up where I thought I’d end up for 10 years!

    PS….I’m not totally stupid, tho, I did end up with a savings account from it, which I’m sure money as a means of control is very effective could be a whole other email!

    Thanks and Love what you say……I’ve kind of lost my passion for anything but food now; sadly…..and I’m waking up to getting it back!

    Jacqueline



  7.  #7Rori Raye on July 10, 2010 at 10:32 am

    Welcome jacqueline (I dropped your last name, so please be careful to keep it to your first from now on…I won’t be able to change it again) First – yayyy for the money! and Bravo to you for waking up and getting your mojo back. You’re going to have to decide if carrying around this high charge of anger and energy around this man – regardless of how he hurt you – is good for YOU – and then just put him on the back of your horse, and go off to your grand life. Sooner rather than later you’ll just drop him off (or he’ll fall off…) and you’ll be grateful to just let all those old resentments fade – Please start by forgiving YOURSELF for anything around this you’re beating yourself up about. It was just a long opportunity to learn to love yourself and change your life for the better. Love, Rori



  8.  #8Jacqueline on July 10, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Thank you Rori – how insightful you are! Was wondering a couple of things – first, no, I KNOW I don’t want the energy, resentment, etc. in me or around me, I don’t know how to get it out! I’m willing and willing to be willing though.

    Secondly, the man I let move in with me last Dec. and I have a high level of compatibility, but not much spark (of course I’m probably addicted to “spark!”). But he’s here now, and I don’t see that marrying him is a “win.” Don’t want a ring, and definitely don’t want to entangle our finances – his are MUCH worse than mine. So, am I acting like a guy and “boyfriend” is just enough for me at this moment. If so, do I have any obligation to tell him that? I have told him I wouldn’t marry him; actually he is still married to someone he hasn’t seen in over 5 years, and yeah, I believe that mostly. I think he’d only pursue a divorce to gain a marriage to me, which definitely isn’t what I want, and something about his personality I really don’t like. So, is he another form of toxicity? Or I’m a healthy commitment phobe?!

    Then, which program would be best for me for – committment, self love, etc. I’m drawn to the toxic men thing, but do think I made major changes…during and even after the breakup I went on maybe a hundred! internet lunch dates before I even sort of liked this one; and I’m sure 89 of them were toxic, and a couple just didn’t have any chemistry or parallel kind of lives. (They were divorced with children and grandkid issues, etc. or whatever, I’m childless and pretty much family-less.)

    If I weren’t already with someone I’d go for targeting Mr. Right, but that seems mean; so do I target myself?

    Anyway, I can probably only get one program so I need to choose well. The money in the bank stays in the bank, so now I’m kind of limited. And wanting to break free of being limited, as well. But I love baby steps, I don’t want to create chaos or catastrophy…lol!

    Heart Blessings to You,
    Jacqueline



  9.  #9Louise on July 10, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    Thk for your reply Rori – esp apprec yr promptness. My man, Roger, keeps breaking up w me. Thr are always different reasons and last year he cheated on & left me for another woman but ws not in love w her. So he came back to me & we wr extremely happy, in love…. for a while. He was sincerely talking (just a couple of months ago) abt “the rest of our lives” and how he loved me to bits. Then he did his breaking up routine, very difficult to take. He hasn’t been cheating on me.

    This time I am stepping right back. I Understand yr theories Rori and think they are very smart. But question if can poss to all men.

    Roger rang me on Friday on his way home from work to say he was staying home, not coming out w us. I replied that our group of friends wr going out and I had a fantastic night, even met a cute guy!

    Today is Sunday afternoon and not one word from him. Last week he was saying he’s not sure whether he wants to be w me but then was cuddling me and we had a very big talk abt his major relationships before he met me. He said he had a fantatic night, he seems to really enjoy talking intimately.

    Anyway not one word all weekend, but I’ve kept busy and hv actually had a rlly good weekend. I’m not contacting him, which I usually do. I can not take his on/off behaviour, it’s ridiculous. I hv to take a stand – if he doesn’t want to be with me, fine, don’t be w me!

    Rori the woman he left me for last year, he never did this – break up with her – why? Was it bcs he wasn’t in love w her and therefore didn’t feel fear?

    Also do you really think he’ll step up now that I’ve totally stepped back? Even if he does return I will have to thk very very carefully abt whether to take him back as I am fed up w his lack of commitment and carry on.

    Thanks! Louise



  10.  #10Joni on July 11, 2010 at 8:38 am

    Dear Rori, I don’t know how I found my way, I have been through so much in the past year. Many things have changed, including I see the man in my life coming around. I use the things you tell me and they work. The thing is that I was starting to do all these things on my own before I found you. Now you show me that what I feel and do are the right things! Thank you for all you do. I have given your information to my daughter and daughter In-law! Loving! Joni



  11.  #11Nellie on July 11, 2010 at 10:43 am

    Dear Rori i have been seeing a man we started out as friends for months we had conversations then one day we sleeped together at the time i really was not interested in him it was kind of curiosity and i was attracted to him from the very begininig but i never saw it going anywhere due to the fact that he made it very clear he had just gotten out of a nasty divorce and wanted to be free so i made the decision to not have romantic feelings for him after our encounter he called me alot and texted me all the time he was persuing me and was very kind to me but i could not get attached because of what he wanted so i did not sleep with him anymore and then i did meet someone else and told him that we could not sleep together due to the fact that i met someone and this man wants a commited relationship well he was fine with that and said we could just be friends. but he called me even more and and told me such wonderful things all the time i really was begining to fall for him even though i was already in a relationship with someone else. well needles to say the relationship did not work out but in between me and my friend became so close and he was actually there for me emotionally after i broke up with my boyfriend after that we began going out together having sex and seeing and talking all the time. so now it has been a year he has changed his tune as far as him not wanting a relationship but he is so distant for the past month and i told him i want more from him he said we can talk about it and he said if we could come to some common ground and a agreement to what makes us both happy. i feel like he is confused of what he wants and he is not making the effort to have this talk i’m feeling confused myself although he is really a wonderful man and i truly believe he is worth whatever i have to do to continue and grow in this relationship i feel that maybe he is not ready for what i want and i want it all love, marriage. etc he is getting more distant as the weeks pass by but he is also calling me as usual so my question is where should i go from here. i really feel like he is maybe the one for me but on the other hand he is keeping me at a distance i tried all your tools and i don’t chase him at all it was working for a little while but he is not rushing to me like he did before. so what do i do now? thanks for whatever input you have.



  12.  #12Rachel on July 11, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Thank you Rori. You are wonderful. He invited me on Saturday to have a drink with his family. It was nice, but after they left, he backed off again. So i guess I will just continue with circular dating, and if he wishes, he will know how to find me.



  13.  #13Louise on July 12, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Ok all it’s now been three days, three days is that all!!! Geez it seems so much longer even tho I was really busy all weekend!

    He last rang me Friday night to say he was staying home and it’s now Monday night. I guess it feels longer as it was the entire weekend that I didn’t hear from him. I really miss him but what’s the point?

    Unless thr is a major turnaround and he stops this on/off/on/off w me and makes a commitment then it’s just a wast of time. Isn’t it great that I see it so clearly now? Even that is a step forward.

    Two months ago he “loved me to bits” and we had “the rest of our lives” then not long after he “wasn’t in love with me anymore”. I just don’t understand it at all. He’s been in a major, 12 year, relationship before me so it’s not that he can’t commit. We’re really happy when we are together and make a fantastic couple.

    I’m sick of going on about it. Thanks everyone!



  14.  #14Louise on July 12, 2010 at 3:20 am

    I’m feeling very weak & pathetic. I guess it’s still quite a shock that after being so committed to me “rest of our lives” etc he then turned around and said he wasn’t in love with me anymore.

    Yet he got a bit drunk on his birthday a week ago and was proclaiming how in love with me he is and how we have forever etc. He’s not a bad man, at all, he’s been amazingly supportive of me. He’s just so damn complicated! He over thinks everything and makes it all so hard.

    Part of me just thinks it’s over walk away. I want to call him and finalise it all. I’m just in so much pain. The rest of my life is a mess right now too which isn’t helping. I need to get thru tonight and then tomorrow I’m sure I’ll feel better.

    Louise



  15.  #15Jacqueline on July 12, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    Louise – I hope you got some sleep. You spend a lot of time focusing on what he feels in your post, I don’t see where you are “madly” in love with him. I’m with Rori, you are damaging yourself, obviously thinking in circles and not sleeping, etc. No matter what, you deserve better than that. You’ve got to find something else to think about – at least one thought about the sky, the trees, something to stop the circle. I know, we all do it, but you’re mind and emotions are there to support you – not to send this guy all your energy constantly. People who drink or drugs say a lot of stuff they don’t feel and don’t even remember, you know that, yes?……anyway, hope that today IS a better day for you!

    Best,
    J



  16.  #16Melissa on July 13, 2010 at 4:58 am

    I posted the other day on one of the commitment topics and now I cannot find it again so that I can see if there were any comments even though I checked the email option….help!



  17.  #17Rosalie on July 14, 2010 at 2:47 am

    @Jacqueline, thank you for your wise comment for Louise!

    @Louise, how are yu doing now? Have you managed to involve yourself into something interesting? 🙂 I hope so!

    I’m dealing with the same issue. We have no contact since a major fight a month ago. But he hasn’t stepped up. I don’t think he ever will… I feel that he is sucking my energy from the distance and that’s what keeps him happy.

    I WANT TO STOP THIS!!!



  18.  #18Brenda on July 14, 2010 at 7:59 am

    Louise,

    I felt very similar to how you feel last year at times with Ryan. I listened to a lot of Rori’s programs to get me through it, and I highly recommend Commitment Blueprint if you don’t have it.

    What I realized is a man won’t fall in love if you are readily available. He needs the hunt; therefore, you need to up your degree of difficulty. I can tell you have slipped into the boyfriend trap of revolving your world around him. It’s easy to do, even tho I tried not to with Ryan, since I was listening to Rori’s CDs.

    I am not an authority here, and I am still very much in process, but I think it would be a mistake to call him and end it all. Even tho you are in a lot of emotional turmoil, this is a time to face your feelings of pain and discomfort and use them as therapy to work through deep inner issues that may be being triggered through Roger.

    If I were in your position, as I was last year with Ryan, and I had it to do over again (I messed up bad in the midst of my pain), here is what I would do:

    Stop contacting him in any way where I was initiating.

    Replace the Roger obsessing with dating new men, reconnecting with girl friends, completely changing my vibe, and doing activities I like.

    Here’s what that would look like:

    Rearrange your furniture
    Rearrange your schedule and routine
    Give yourself a makeover
    Clear all clutter away in the house that doesn’t contribute to romance
    Make a list of 100 things you like to do. When you are tempted to think in circles around your maddening man, go do something you like, such as hang out with a friend, watch a movie, or paint a landscape.

    What helped me, and is still helping me (I am still in love with Ryan), is to tell my mind that Ryan is in the past, so it is time to let him go. When we hang on, it doesn’t help the relationship, if it is ever to be.

    I’ve been on this blog since April, and multiple times, I’ve read posts from women who say, “He was completely out of my life! I had moved on! And he called me from out of the blue!”

    What about finishing it with him in your heart and mind without finalizing it or verbalizing it to him? Let him miss you.



  19.  #19Jacqueline on July 14, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Hi, yall! I wanted to comment on the sucking energy from a distance – btw, Brenda, your post was so nice and a great answer to the dillema. I do believe in energy interactions (I do massage and Reiki and stuff) and also energy vampires. What helped me, Rosalie, well – not much for about TWO years- even with no contact I could hear? him “pulling” at me. Anyway I read a bunch of stuff about narcissim and narcisstic attachment – the really pathological kind; and narcissists rarely ever return to the person they were (don’t remember the exact word) but I call it feeding off of, once they get a new source, they’re off. But yet I could feel him pulling – so I also read that playing all those tapes of him in your head creates like a cassette tape and he can just plug it into his player any time he wants and grab all your energy/feeling as long as you are still playing the tape. And for a long time because I still loved him and he presented me with his situation as a lot of emergency stuff beyond his control I just played the tape. Lately I can stop. Especially after Rori told me it was just one long lesson – see, maybe I was playing the tape for myself, to make a different ending, or one where I wasn’t so “dumb,” or because I was too nice, or he still needed me because I’m like an energy master (sad humor there, btw) and he’s in such a bad situation – like the depressed man situation. BUT I realized I’m not depressed, nor narcissitic and it doesn’t feel good – it’s warping me all out of shape – literally, gaining 50 pounds. So you can tell, it felt really bad. And I came here to feel better. So, I did lots of affirmations and rituals to cut the connection and on an on, but what worked is what Rori told me – an aha moment, and realizing I was going to permanently hurt myself, was not the person he’d fallen for in any way any more….and so I really need all that energy for myself, huh? And that’s where it’s going. I will say I am so lucky I moved up into a relationship where he’s not trying to hurt me!, but you know? It did nothing to stop the thoughts. So we can do it when we realize we don’t want to hurt ourselves, and that’s when Rori’s steps, like in the post above become so helpful and important. Support helps, too, huh? I hope Louise does post back here because her pain was evident and we all want her to be better!

    Best,
    J



  20.  #20Brenda on July 14, 2010 at 11:37 am

    Hi J,

    That’s cool! I really am just parroting Rori, but doing this helps me reinforce the value of her tools. Thanks! Yes, I love the support and care I feel here!

    Brenda



  21.  #21Jacqueline on July 14, 2010 at 11:38 am

    PS – Rori, I need advice on which program???? or maybe you are going to do a fall two package special? Please let me know! PS – I read a bunch of reviews on your stuff on the web, and saw your two previous books on Amazon…..and it’s all so positive. Which is so rare, and also enviable in a business branding sense – it is so nice to see you doing good and having good in your life! Thanks again.



  22.  #22Jacqueline on July 14, 2010 at 11:39 am

    Brenda – thanks for writing, and for being here, too! Have a great day!



  23.  #23Brenda on July 14, 2010 at 11:57 am

    J,

    You’re welcome! I think Commitment Blueprint is top notch. It covers all sorts of topics and is very long, about 12 CDs I think. I mean it covers pole dancing, Purpose On the Planet (POP), and so much more.

    I love Modern Siren, too, and it is shorter and covers primarily self-esteem and using visualization to improve your relational vibe. I thoroughly enjoyed both, and I didn’t find Toxic Men as helpful.

    It is money well-spent…how can you put a value on something so life-changing? 🙂



  24.  #24Rosalie on July 14, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    @Jacqueline: Thanks again! I loved your comment, very helpful to me. My man has also NPD. You are a mind reader 🙂
    What rituals did you do to cut the energy connections? How does it work? How did you feel the effect on yourself? Can you recommend me some books, articles?
    I’m a deeply spritual person so I do believe in this. But I couldn’t put it to effective practice yet or don’t know how to.
    I have Rori’s ebook but I can’t afford her programmes 🙁



  25.  #25Rosalie on July 14, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    Oh, and I read everything I could about NPD. It was literally frightening. He is really textbook- narcissist. Phew.



  26.  #26Brenda on July 14, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    They were talking a lot about naricissists and posting articles a month or two ago on here. Sorry, I don’t remember where. It all is a blur after a while! But basically those articles said run as fast and far as you can!



  27.  #27Jacqueline on July 14, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    Hey yall….not sure about how Rori feels about different techniques here? Brenda you would know, let me know and I’ll talk some more about stuff I’ve done. Rosalie, before there was LawOfAttraction/The Secret, etc and Abraham, there were books by Sanaya Roman, and her – channeled – stuff was somewhat based on books by LaUna Huffines. Healing with Light and something else. That’s who talked about the tape thing I think – grin a cassette, yeah, it was the early 90’s! Also a very easy thing is to just get a string imagine you both at either end and break/cut/etc. it. Don’t wanna get too into this unless I get some more feedback tho. Will check in later with you gals!



  28.  #28Rosalie on July 14, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    Oh yes, I remember something… It must be here somewhere. Thank you Brenda& Jacqueline!

    Maybe we should ask Rori to get a search tool installed on the page? It would make searching for specific piece of info a bit easier.



  29.  #29Louise on July 15, 2010 at 12:39 am

    Hi all and thank you to Brenda and Jacqueline for excellent advice.

    Roger wanted us to take a break as there was a lot going on – I actually attempted suicide taking an overdose abt six weeks ago and woke up in intensive care five days later, I’d had abt 10 brain seizures and my heart stopped three times. I nearly died and cld hv been permanently disabled. I’ve never dne this before.

    We’d had a fight abt him seeing his ex g/f and lying to me abt it – he was only collecting his stuff from her, it ws innocent. Unf this coincided with a doctor, not my regular, taking me off my very strong antidepressant medication which is what we think happened as this ws extremely unusual behaviour for me.

    Anyway I spent two weeks in hospital and don’t remember doing it or anything of the previous couple of weeks. Waking up in intensive care five days later was the most frightening experience of my life. I had no idea where I was, what happened and I lost a lot of memory as well.

    Roger was amazingly supportive while I was in hospital but when I came out he wanted to end it as he blamed himself for what happened. I cldn’t believe that he wld end it a week after I came home from hospital. He was adamant and still is that he is staying in my life and will alwys be thr for me.

    Anywy he ws unsure what he wanted to do and said we shld have a break – and I was so stupid! I said it was all or nothing! I now see that he ws absolutely right abt a break, we def need it.

    After my last posting I gave in and called him on Tuesday night and we met up and he said he loves me but wnted to end it. So it’s over but I still love him and I know he loves me.

    Now I have to get smart! No more stupid behaviour. I have a major depression problem and this is being treated by medication. I now need to sort my life out and get back on track.

    Roger and I need to have a break so that I can sort my life out. I do have Rori’s Commitment Blueprint and am listening to it again. I need to be strong and focus on my life.

    Louise



  30.  #30Jacqueline on July 15, 2010 at 10:14 am

    Louise – wow, a best friend of mine did that about a year and a half ago, too. No man is worth your life….really there ARE always some other ones out there!!! I hope you’re back under a drs. care and can perk back up – no wonder you’re post was so sad. Hopefully you can focus on also nurturing yourself and finding some kind of pleasure – sounds like you could use it. IMO, men kind of don’t like it when we do really dramatic shit anyway, so I don’t think Roger’s coming back, I think he’ll run fast and far. So, yeah, you’ve gotta focus on you cuz you are all you’ve got to make your life work for you! Don’t hurt yourself for any reason again, okay? Life will hand you plenty that hurts and all you’ve got to do is feel the emotions and NOT act on them – they’ll change eventually. Good luck with all of this, and I hope you can get some counseling along with the meds?? Whatever happens, KNOW/ see you can touch people even just on here, and they can care about you and not want you to hurt yourself! so you can find that in LIFE as well.

    Jacqueline



  31.  #31Louise on July 15, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    THought I should just clarify about my overdose. I didnt’ intend to do it, it was not a “dramatic” act or something done because a man hurt me. Thr have been a lot of instances lately whr people have suicided when taken off this medication, Effexor, suddenly. The timely just happened to coincide with issues with Roger.

    Also unless you have been in the exact same position as someone who has attempted suicided no one can possibly understand – I never did before and used to be very judgemental about people who suicided thinking them selfish, weak etc.

    What I now know is that they have absolutely reached the end of their tether and can no longer take any more pain. Something goes off inside their head and they start to think very differently and strangely.



  32.  #32Rori Raye on July 15, 2010 at 11:15 pm

    Joni, Welcome…Love, Rori



  33.  #33Jacqueline on July 16, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Louise – I know what you are saying, it just hit me really hard because my best friend/boss whom I’d worked with for 17 years did the exact same thing summer before last. And I had to take over her job, and be her friend when they brought her back….. And she came back with brain damage isues and lots of other stuff, so I do understand, way too personally, and it hurts me. Your case is different if it wasjust the meds, but it doesn’t sound like it from your last sentence. Funny she at the time said she did it over a man, then got that man back, and yet they still ended up splitting up. So, that’s what I meant about Roger being gone. No matter what you do, if it’s not working, it’s not gonna work. I’m not being judgemental, I think I’ve kind of lived through this and I do have opinions about it, but it’s not that you’re weak willed – maybe too strongly willed? smile. I think it doesn’t solve anything and makes all much, much worse, that’s my experience of it. Anyway, I think it triggers me and it also really made me wonder why the one person I reached out to on here was the person with the same situation as my friend. What’s my lesson, that’s what I was thinking/wondering. But I do hope you feel better, it might take awhile after something like that!

    Best,
    J



  34.  #34Jacqueline on July 16, 2010 at 10:46 am

    Brenda – are you still here? On the Relationship Blueprint thing….does she talk about triggers? Is it as much about how to live life and relate to everybody or just men? After I got on here I realized my current relationship doesn’t have a lot of problems, smiled -reading posts took me back to when I had REAL problems in a relationship, and made mine look so much better. (Yea, a real narcissist will mess you up.)

    I am just in a place where I want some personal growth and to better my ability to interact with everyone! If you get a chance, let me know, thanks!



  35.  #35Louise on July 17, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    THanks Jacqueline, I DEFINITELY did not attempt suicide in response to Roger. And I was only giving my input on the reasons people suicide, it was not related to my issue but generalist. As I said before it all just happened to coincide, the timing was crap.



  36.  #36Jacqueline on July 18, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Hi! well I ordered the toolbox kit set, looking forward to it! Good luck to all….

    J