Turn Hurt To Happiness This Way…

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Hi, This is Rori,

Have you ever been in pain over a relationship, and a friend comes along and tells you to “relax” – and that just sounds to you like “suck it up” – or some other dismissive, easy thing for them to say?

I’ve always felt even worse when someone says something like that, and so my work has always been about NOT denying your pain – but experiencing it, working with it, accepting it, feeling it, loving it, embracing it – and moving through it.

That’s why, when I develop a Tool that has anything to do with “positive thinking,” I want you to know how it fits in to my whole Rori Raye methods and techniques.

I don’t even use the word: “positive“!

Instead of “labeling” anything at all (for me, labeling is an entirely mental – and therefore masculine – idea) I like to use words like “good feeling feelings” – that share your “feeling state” as simply and body-sensation-based as possible.

In this Tool – I want to show you a way to work with “good feeling” and “happy” thoughts that’s not meant for you to RESIST your pain – but to build, amplify, grow – and BREED more “good feeling” and Happy thoughts and feelings.

So… Ever heard that phrase – “No pain no gain”? As frustrating and pretty much obnoxious as that sounds – it’s true in a way – because on your road to Happy Ever After, whenever you move forward in your mind, heart, spirit, relationship and life, there are always Growing Pains.

It’s how we deal with the growing pains that makes all the difference about what happens next – and we can learn to USE even pain to help us get what we want.

If we’re used to experiencing pain in Love, then when we’re confronted with happiness, our minds get scared – it’s like happiness “does not compute.”

And our scared minds then do what’s automatic for them – they bounce us back into pain.

So this is our experience: Pain breeds more pain. And yet, because we instinctively “resist” happiness, happiness bounces us back into pain.

Therefore, we start to feel and believe that happiness is random, and pain is the constant in our lives.

Does this sound familiar?

Do you see yourself repeating the same kinds of patterns – being attracted to the same kind of man, getting involved too quickly, focusing on one man instead of on your own desires for yourself, focusing on your man instead of your own passion for your own life, always expecting the “other shoe to drop” and hurt to show it’s ugly face again?

Well – here’s the missing piece: If pain breeds more pain – then doesn’t it make sense that happiness could actually breed more HAPPINESS?

To really get into the practice of not only “shifting” the way you respond and react to nearly everything so you can get WAY better results faster – but seeing things actually CHANGE for you, try out Siren Island.  Your only gamble for a full month of true live coaching over zoom and in writing on the Siren Island closed Facebook group is only a $33 gamble. Go here and see what can happen for you in a month! ->

There are lots of reasons for “The Bounce” back into pain, and for now, let’s do a simple Tool to undo the Bouncing:


1. Say to yourself: Happiness makes more happiness. Happiness is the child of happiness. Therefore, I am now in the business of making more happiness for myself.

2. Say it to yourself as much as a can….

3. Now do this: Start noticing what happens inside you when you say this to yourself. Do you automatically bounce back to “resistance”? Like “How dare you tell me to be happy! What do YOU know about happy?”

4. Fall In Love with that voice inside you that told you off, that told you you’re a fool for even thinking about being happy, talking about it, thinking you know anything about being happy, or that you even DESERVE to be happy. Fall in Love with ALL that “push-back.”

5.  Stop yourself as often as you can and just notice where you’re at. Are you “thinking?” What are you thinking about?

*Say the happiness mantra and see if you get “push-back.”

*Fall in Love with the “Push-back” voice. Notice how your body is feeling and where it’s feeling it. If there’s a tension and a painful thought happening, notice it. Fall in love with it!

6. See what’s in front of you: gently redirect your energy to what’s going on around you – trees, flowers, books, the carpet, the furniture…

7. If you notice a “happy” thought drifting through your mind, notice if you’re smiling, or laughing, or that your shoulders suddenly relax and your throat loosens up…and then notice if that happy thought leads you to another happy thought – or if it goes right to the “push-back” bounce.

8. If pain or a painful thought shows up (remember the Bounce is going to continue to happen – it’s what you DO with it that counts…), then say this to yourself: “Pain – I love you! Icky, nasty thought – I Love you! You’re helpful to me! I will never abandon you, and now I’m going to look at a flower…”

9. Think of EVERYTHING as a Tool. Everything, no matter how it feels to you, looks to you, or what ANYONE says to you about it can be USED.

You can use anything and everything that happens, in some way, no matter how small, to keep you on your rightful track to your very own, all-the-time Happy Ever After – which can start for you this very moment!

If you’re looking for a live coaching program that’s effective and affordable, where you get constant attention, support, Scripting, and Rori Raye coaches and I helping you consistently and constantly – try-out Siren Island!

On the Island there’s Natalina Love, Debra Darlen, Lylian Toscano, Naomie Thompson, Beth Ellen, Eva Elly, Isabel Darling (and many others visiting all the time) – all great coaches with booming practices of their own who just love, as I do, working with you in writing on The Island.

Come see what we’re about, experience how Siren Island works as live coaching for you, and to start:tell us the specifics of what’s going on for you.

Tell us the words he said, the words you say, what you’re thinking and feeling and doing – and we’ll give you straight-shooting feedback, new words, new actions, and fresh ideas to change everything fast.

It’s literally amazing how fast things can change just from getting coached on the Island. You have only $33 to gamble for an entire 30 days of coaching to see if the Island feels like home to you (and I encourage you to think of it as gambling for at least a month to really see how it can work for you, pretty much around-the-clock!)

Go here to try Siren Island out:

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Femininewoman on March 19, 2018 at 8:52 am

    Isn’t it sad that we instinctively resist happiness

  2.  #2Femininewoman on May 10, 2018 at 10:47 am

    Hi Rori. Hope all is well with you.

  3.  #3Margaret on May 17, 2018 at 10:35 am

    Hi, I am a 39 year old woman who loves to much. I have been in an out of bad relationships since my teens. Always obsessing about some guy. I just want to love me. To take care of me. Obsessing has led me to the point where I am sick and depleted financially, physically and emotionally and has led to a complete breakdown. I cant go on like this I will die. I need a break or I will break. I cant even afford Siren Island. I just cut off a relationship with someone I was addicted to last week. Any advice would be much appreciated…

  4.  #4Angela on May 17, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    I miss Rori’s articles so much.
    Margaret, I say start reading the articles under masculine energy, heal your heart, and power and self esteem, that should help you so much.

  5.  #5Margaret on May 17, 2018 at 8:21 pm

    Thanks so much Angela…I will start…

  6.  #6Indigo on May 22, 2018 at 3:04 am


    It sounds very much to me like you need to take a break from men and take care of you. You have probably got some destructive patterns and low self-esteem which need to be healed before you should think about trying to get into a relationship. It’s my opinion that you don’t need to be healed completely, but you do need to be on the road to healing before you try to get into a relationship. You need to have awareness around the things you are doing to sabotage yourself, otherwise you will just keep getting yourself into the same situations.

    If you want change, you must do something differently. There is plenty of free advice on the internet on self-healing.

  7.  #7Femininewoman on June 7, 2018 at 6:42 am

    Happy to see a new article finally. I can’t help but wonder if Rori has been ill.

    Also wondering why there’s no link for comments.