What To Do About A Long Distance Relationship? Coach Eva Elly

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The Question:

“I feel in love with my man, have good feelings about our relationship, and generally feel loved and feel secure about him in most ways (though we live far away from each other right now, in a long-distance relationship) – and, still, I’m afraid things will just fall apart. When he doesn’t call or text often enough, I feel awful…help, please!”

The Answer From Coach Eva Elly:

Long distance relationships are difficult at the least…I have been through a couple…and I get what you mean with the good feelings, in a way the distance itself can actually bring forth an emotional intimacy quicker than in a traditional relationship…just by the fact that you are separated.

And that creates a bond that is strong just because of the distance…you can feel him…even when far away…and that is so amazing.

As long as the distance remains it is “safe” to be vulnerable, and to make sure the connection consists only of the good stuff…

It’s so wonderful that you feel loved and secure.

Can you focus on the good feelings of this? And that he IS making you feel secure?

That said…I absolutely get your fear. It is totally valid.

There is nothing wrong with it, its absolutely normal to feel that way when there has been a “texting disconnect”.

The way out is through…feeling it all….

But since you ask…it may help you to actually do a little masculine energy conceptualising too.

If you are at all prone to feel abandoned, or have experienced anything like abandonment before in your life – a long distance relationship will be Oh so triggering.

It will help you re-live those moments of love as “not available”.

I don’t know if that is you…? so don’t take this for any truth at all….

Maybe its not you. Many people connect in long distance and move it to marriage and family too, so….there are many possibilities.

But that was definitely me…back then…re-living abandonment….because I held away TRUE intimacy by connecting in long distance.

These relationships made me feel wonderful, loved, secure, fantastic…and at the same time it gave me the thrill of not being the just that, namely secure. Strange huh.

So take a look at that:

What do you feel when he is texting you? Especially after a time wise disconnect.

Do you feel a “release”?

Do you feel your heart jump, do you feel thrilled?

Do you feel all the stress go away?

Do you feel warm, loving and happy?

Is your mood in the day in anyway dependent on whether he texts you or not? Or what he is writing?

And what happens when he doesn’t text you?

What is the dialogue playing out in your head (you don’t have to write it out here if you don’t want to, just notice it)?

What does the fear feel like? How does it start?

And how intense is it?

Where in your body do you feel it?

When does it morph or shift into something else?

Please let me know…how you feel…and if you want to explore this further.

The answers to the above questions may be clues in how you want to move on with your fear and the relationship.

Lots of Love,

Note from Rori:

You can work privately with the amazing and hugely in-demand Eva, and explore and absolutely begin to solve your immediate situation with her, through the very affordable Siren Circle program here-> 

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