What To Do When He Shuts Down – And Doesn’t Sleep In The Same Bed With You

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The Question:

“Rori, I’m in a relationship and my partner has shut down, he sleeps in the other bedroom. What do I do? J”

The Answer From Natalina Love:

Dear “J”, Hi, This is Natalina Love. I’m Rori’s Siren School Director and one of the Feminine Energy Workshop hosts. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing so much pain in your relationship, I really get how awful it feels when someone you adore starts shutting down and even taking more space away…

Since you’re both still under the same roof it sounds like – that’s one thing that is still working.

You may know how Rori often talks about the ‘lean back’ and how this creates space for a man, even an avoidant or shut down man to feel compelled to lean in… To start moving toward us. Where the relationship, the romance, the friendship all have a chance to be rekindled.

Where one thing we want to do, is ask how he is…

Maybe ask what’s going on….

Ask if he’ll join us in bed tonight…

Or even share how awful it feels being distant – and we can work with feeling our way through what doesn’t feel good, without creating more discomfort, we really have to sit with how it feels being in this space ‘disconnected’

How does it feel being in the same home?

And if you can go into what’s underneath “bad” or “good” you’ll give yourself a lot more to work with too – you may like to make a list and really dive into what you feel.

How it feels.

How it feels wanting more connection – wanting to curl up with him in bed at night – how it feels wanting to have his arms around you as you drift off to bed….

Make this part of the process, of just letting yourself experience this. Experience him. Right now with the space between you, as well as how it feels being together.

Within even 2 weeks, as you’re practicing Rori’s feminine energy tools; looking out the window.

Feeling the water go down your throat as you take a drink….

Giving love and compassion to yourself and the part of you worried about the distance between you and your partner….

You’ll start seeing shifts happen.

We’re talking about reconnection, and this is absolutely possible for you. For all of us.

If you can make it to the next Feminine Energy Workshop we’ll be working with our “Relationship Dreams” I’d love to hear how the Tools are working for you and where things start feeling confusing too.

We’d love to have you join us !

Lots of Love, Natalina

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