What To Do When The Tears Won’t Stop

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The Question:

I am having issues trying to feel my emotions without getting into drama. I’ve been taught to stuff down my emotions my whole life and now that I am feeling them I find myself welling up and crying a lot. Like my husband pointed out that I have started crying 4 times in the last week and it’s feeling like drama to him.

He feels trapped and unappreciated. I feel super insecure in the relationship and it shows up as unnecessary jealousy (like I don’t even say that I feel that but he feels it). …

He keeps saying that he would rather see me happy then unhappy with him but that feels to me like he is not really committed to seeing things through and being okay with the ups and downs of relationship.

However he is still here and in reality has stuck by me for three years including about a year and a half when I went into a deep depression.

We’ve been having issues for so long (with periods in between that are really good), so I’m feeling like I keep messing up. I may be pushing him away, and I don’t want it to be the last straw.
Any advice would be tremendously helpful…

Thank you, Love Gina

My Answer:

Gina, No matter how you see yourself, we see you differently.
The concept of gorgeous, brilliant, talented you feeling insecure in a love relationship is ludicrous to those of us on the outside looking at you – and yet – I know exactly how you feel.

Here are some ideas:

1. If he’s pulling away from you, and telling you you’re “emotional” and he can’t take it – this is likely what’s happening:

Your emotion – crying – is not what’s affecting him.
It’s that he thinks it’s HIS FAULT!!!!

2. If jealousy is something triggering your tears, though that’s not where you want to be “stuck,” it’s totally as valid an emotion as any other – and you don’t want to “trash” it!
Jealousy, just like anger, can give you a boost of energy – fuel! – for trying really, really brave things like having a deep conversation where you tell the truth about yourself and what you want, rather than commenting in any way on HIS behavior.

3. If emotions are escaping you, and you feel like crying all the time but nothing’s coming out – Try sparking your tears by watching animal movies – like Homeward Bound! Everyone accepts people crying over dogs and baby kittens in trouble!!!

4. Your tears may be about frustration and anger and fear – just coming up ahead of pure sadness – all that needs to happen is getting used to the order they show up in!

5. Try crying in private as you feel your way into tears, sink into them;,write about them in the middle of the crying.

6. Depression is a suppression of anger, for me.

7. See if you can find a low-cost acting class. This will help you immeasurably in every way imaginable.
Pick the most classic, painful monologues and scenes you can – where tears are supposed to flow, and make sure the teacher is all about YOU being YOU (and not some “character”) – and see what triggers you, what goes on for you, what thoughts come before feelings, etc…

8. Fall in Love With it – whatever’s going on – whatever it is…

9. STOP eating grains, stop eating sugar.
Don’t let corn anything (that’s dextrose, dextrin – it’s in everything!) anywhere near you.
Go complete paleo for a week and see what happens – meat, vegetables, olive oil and apple cider vinegar (no lemon!) on salads, an occasional sweet potato or acorn squash. Probiotics and vitamin D a MUST!!!!!
Try Lemon Balm – my favorite thing, truly “takes the edge off”

Love, Rori

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3 Comments

  1.  #1Femininewoman on January 29, 2017 at 5:06 am

    No lemon? Oh wow



  2.  #2Mandy on February 2, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    Thanks for dietary recommendation, dearest Rori….

    Corn hates me and I had my Thyroid removed so i must treat myself like the goddess I am, eat healthfully and make sure I can get all the vitamins and minerals as I possibly ingest and absorb.

    Such a prime example of how a Diva should treat herself. Eating slowly and in a fememine manner not trying to race through dinner can be ver Sireny too 🙂



  3.  #3ruth on February 7, 2017 at 5:02 am

    Blog still playing up.I can see part of roris explanation on thre train wreck post but cant access it
    🙁