When An Ex-Boyfriend Shows Up – What To Do To Make Sense Of The Confusion

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The Question:

“Rori, I have an ex boyfriend who I still love but he runs hot and cold all the time…mostly cold. There are times he pops up and sends me a very insignificant text saying mostly nothing… I am not sure If I should respond in anyway.

For example he texts me today at 7:04 am a picture of a defensive driving course ad that is offering a discount. He writes nothing just sends the image. I have no idea what this means and obviously I don’t speak male..so how do I respond to that?

The Answer:

Dear Stacey, hi, this is Coach Natalina Love, Rori’s Siren School Director.

I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time communicating with this man, and glad that you found Rori.

What I see you talking about is truly confusing – and I have a few ideas for you.

What we are talking about is essentially communication.

Communication ALONE is an art and skill.

If you’re finding yourself racking your brains for how to respond to a man from the past – getting strange messages you don’t know what to do with…That’s a lot of mental and emotional effort.

Simply enough, I might say, just ‘leave it’ – leave the messages, don’t ‘try to understand’ what his message is. Which might sound strange but try this:

  • Imagine you’re unhooking your heart and your future from being his default emotional bank-account.
  • Detaching from making sense of what doesn’t make sense.
  • That’s a part of what I see for you – a part of your Feminine Energy power plan….
  • Trust him to build his skill set, and you work on yours.

Men who are ready and want to be understood will make it easy for you to understand.

You’ll get to see if he shows up with more clarity, and will have an easier time with more context.

Dealing with men from the past can be confusing simply in the nature of being in the past – and you are not there anymore.

You had beautiful and meaningful moments together – yet no one could possibly know what his intent is without more context – besides that he was thinking about you – and you can take that and smile – and know it’s not much to go off of.

You don’t have to chase him down to figure out what he wants.

Let him follow up with you – if there is a bigger message.

If that feels weird, fall in love with what you feel.

It may be different than what you’re used to in the past – and that’s what we want to do – something different!

And in the meantime – you practice your Tools, practice the kind of communication that feels good with everyone who shows up in your world – in front of you.

Siren School Coaches can help you with both of the ideas here, redirecting the focus of your energy and attention so you can see if he is the kind of man who has what it takes to contribute anything to the relationship of your dreams, and what that looks like.

…As well as coach you through building more communication skills, even when he’s a difficult man.

I would love to recommend you work with one of Rori’s coaches – build some protocols around how to respond, when it’s really okay not to respond immediately – and what that can look like.

You can get a one hour ‘try out’ coaching session with one of Rori’s brilliant coaches privately for $100 here, through The Siren Circle Private Coaching Program->.

And another helpful resource for you – to help you continually be building your own toolkit for emotional empowerment, love, and connection in the relationship you want – is the Monthly Feminine Energy Workshop. Always on the last Sunday of the month – The Siren community meets together over zoom for an afternoon.

There are live coaching demos, working with Rori’s tools – small intimate breakout room coaching groups – and also worksheet and recording for the event to go back and listen to all of the aha moments.

At The Feminine Energy Workshop, Tickets are only $17! Join us this month for $17 here->

A lot of people leave this up to mystery, fate, and magic….. Yet, there are actual ways to go about building skills for having the kind of love and connection we want.

You can do this, keep going, Stacey!

Love, Natalina

 

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