When Everything Turns Cranky – The Words You Use Are SO Helpful!

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The Question:

“I need the words! I have been doing this along with how you told us to “wow I really hear you and I hear you are hurt/frustrated…etc.” That has changed the momentum.

I count to 8, and this keeps me rather quiet 🤫. Please share more.

It feels like I am stuck.

Can’t tell if I was future faked or breadcrumbed last night…Need More…”

My Answer:

Dear “Need More…” First, you sound really smart – and I love how you’re trying all this out and seeing how things land, what works….

How about, instead of the effort of mentally figuring out what’s “going on” – “future faked or breadcrumbed” – you just delve inside and see how you feel?

It doesn’t matter the technical label of what he’s doing or not doing, it only matters whether or not you’re being heard and cared for, whether or not your needs are being heard and cared for, whether or not your needs are getting met.

Anger doesn’t help if you unload it on him, and frustration takes getting used to working with – but expressing the feelings of anger and frustration, that you’re feeling them, gives you emotional gravity.

Expressing strong, tough emotions in words that are hearable to a man gives you energy and power – because the experience of expressing them is a recognizable (yes, to him!) courageous, unique act of vulnerability.

It’s this “try-out” of discovering what words get you heard and cared for, what body language gets you heard and cared for, how to feel authentically you (as deep as you can sink into how you are at any moment), and then noticing how he speaks and moves toward you or away from you at any moment that gives you incredible “shifts” in all directions.  Inside and out.

All of this becomes SO helpful.

If you’d like help while you’re dating this man – try Siren Circle. These coaches are fantastic – they can “Script” you in one session (and you get three sessions, plus voice messaging coaching for 4 weeks…)->

Also – maybe YOU are a 3, or a 5 second woman – maybe you need 12!

I’d love to see you find out how YOU feel best, are best expressed, and best heard. Love, Rori

Here’s the video:

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