When He’s Not Responding to You…

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The Question:

“Rori, I am having the exact issue you speak of in a newsletter you sent, and am confused. You wrote this as a solution when a man gets distant:

‘There are many ways to do this, but the first and foremost thing you MUST do is simply… do NOTHING. That’s right, don’t pick up the phone. Don’t ask him where things are going. Don’t ask him to take you out because you want to feel wanted again. Don’t seduce him or try to impress him.

And then the second thing you must do is to hold onto yourself and tap into your own feelings about things. Then EXPRESS those feelings in an open, vulnerable way… without agendas and without compromise…’

My question is: How do I do these two things? 

My man is not responding to my texts or calls, even though I’m trying to express myself… Thank you, Frustrated…”

My Answer:

Dear Frustrated: AHHHH!!! They go together!

You CANNOT express yourself properly when it’s YOU who are initiating anything – unless you are setting the stage for a deep, high-stakes discussion/negotiation.

For that — there’s a “protocol,” a “Tool” and a “Script” to get you started.  (If you’re in need of Scripts for high-stakes talks with a man, try out Siren Circle Live Coaching Class (with Siren Island closed Facebook group included) – the coaches are brilliant at giving you the exact words to use throughout the conversation – not just the “opening…”)

In other words – DO NOTHING means just that!

ALL you do is RESPOND.

If he doesn’t text, you don’t text.

When he texts, you text a great, easy, fast, fun response.

(Siren Circle can also help you mightily with Scripting text and phone responses, so you’ll know what tosay – keeping it short and powerfully attractive –  even if you’re unhappy or mad…)

If a man is unresponsive to the ONE text you accidentally or on purpose send – that’s it.  Don’t try that again.  It was an experiment, great, and you got your scientific answer: it didn’t work.

Now Step Back.

A woman CANNOT MOVE a relationship forward.  The man has to.

This is why Circular Dating is absolutely crucial.

The thing is – if a man is NOT jumping at marrying you (really!) – then you cannot “make” him want to.

What brings him in, entices him, invites him to WANT to be with you in a committed, close way, is how you make him feel.

In the middle of all the tension and anxiety and crazyness at the beginning of a relationship – you somehow have to steady yourself.

You somehow have to NOT make a “big deal” out of him.

This doesn’t mean holding your passion back.  It doesn’t mean “cooling down” or closing up.”

It means actually ramping UP your “warmth,” while (and this is what The Modern Siren system is all about) ALSO ramping up your ability to be and feel and create “‘distance” with him.

If you ever find yourself sending out more energy to ANY man more than you’re getting from him – that’s your clue that something is amiss.

This is part of our makeup as women – throwing ourselves into a relationship full out – and it’s a gorgeous part of our makeup.

However, it makes it WAY harder for us to get what we want.

Being “cool” is one thing (awesome!) – yet, if you’re coming from being “cold” and “shutdown” and “closed” and “pretending”(which makes us feel awful and doesn’t help the connection and warmth process with a man) – learning to get “warmer” while still maintaining “distance” is the big journey!

Initiating anything with a man, texting, phone, all of that ALWAYS looks “needy” to a man. No matter how it feels to you, or the “why” of it – that’s how it feels to him.

He feels surrounded, enfolded – not loved, but “grabbed at.”

I say BRAVA to YOU, and hope you can find a way to really let a whole bunch of new men into your life from all over the US (long distance may trigger you a lot, too – yet it’s possible to work it…).

Once you get flooded with men, and they start to feel like better men to you – that’s when things will begin rolling.

If you’ve been flooded with “jerks,” or “feminine energy,” or “emotionally unavailable” men” up to now – this is what we want to see change!

If you can not think of Circular Dating as “trying to find your “one” – but instead, of getting a LOT of men in your life so you can gather data and SEE and FEEL if the quality of them is rising – that’s where you want to go.

That’s the biggest thing for you now.

One man at a time is WAY too hard and slow!!!!

Learn how to do this with a Rori Raye coach!

Siren Circle is now accepting only 10 women into 8 classes over 4 weeks for the new Siren Circle class beginning on Monday evening, March 4th, so enroll now and get the materials to download! If you’re already on Siren Island – use the “coupon” (I’ll put the code on Siren Island) to get your discount!

https://www.coachrori.com/siren-school-siren-circle/

Love, Rori

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1 Comments

  1.  #1Soul Sista on February 23, 2019 at 7:15 am

    Circular Dating…if the “haters” only REALLY knew how divine it really is! It’s not DATING – it’s free therapy!

    Even for someone like me who has felt so traumatized by men…the worst stuff.

    Cd’ng has enabled me to PRACTICE – feeling messages, feeling my feelings and my truth, expressing raw emotion and stop leaning forward in ANYTHING. Ramping up my WARMTH.

    Treat them all the same, the quality of men goes up and then the fun begins. Thank you, Rori 🙂