When You Feel Afraid You’re Going To Lose Him


The Question:

“Rori, Right now, I feel panicked because he hasn’t reached out at all. It feels like I won’t have a chance to do any of my tools. Is it too late?

I hope not…. I feel he’s completely gone. In the mean time I’ve been scheduling dates, flirting with the mailman, and filling up my schedule that would make me feel great inwardly. I don’t want to feel this way…..Jay”

What do I do for overnight changes?

My Answer:

Jay – this whole experience, in my own experience, is to bring to your awareness the level of desperation you feel.

The level of anxiety, the importance you’re giving to this man.

NO relationship can ever turn into anything when we feel like this around ANY man – no matter WHAT has happened.

You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.

Nothing to take back or redo.

There is nothing for you TO do.

You literally need to turn your back to him and gather yourself.

My advice for you is to not just pretend to date, or to make yourself feel better – but DATE.

Get one of the RRCT coaches who specialize in online dating – and GO FOR IT!!!

This is how Helena Hart met her amazing husband, within 24 hours of signing up for online dating full out!  You can DO this!!!

The key is for you to find your feet.

Find your inside strength.

NO man should EVER make you feel this upset and worried about “losing” him.

It should NEVER be that tenuous.

A man, if anything, should always be worried about losing YOU, and the creation of a true relationship is based on both partners making each other feel secure, loved, and NOT apprehensive, worried, anxious….Can you see this?

Right now, what you’re feeling is your clue to the self-worth work you need to do…and Circular Dating, real dating, will help you PRACTICE building that.

If you need help, this is the time for coaching, therapy, church! and anything else we can think of to make you feel strong again!!!!!

You are totally beautiful, successful, sexy, and smart – and you deserve a man who sees that right from the get-go.

The challenge is going to be for you to feel attracted to a man who truly WANTS you – this is what they talk about when they talk about ‘Attachment” theory.

Those of us with this issue of attraction to men who don’t really want us, in the way marriage requires being wanted!

all have to practice learning to open up to good men who want us – and THAT is the function of Circular Dating.


Love, Rori

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