When You Start To Question Yourself…

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When you feel yourself putting yourself down, questioning if there’s something “wrong” with you (perhaps you’re feeling extra “needy,” have extra expectations of a man that throw you off balance…) – can you isolate that voice that’s loudly screaming at you that you did something “wrong” (or that there’s something “wrong” with you) – and POUR LOVE ON IT?!

The REASON behind WHY all of these feelings of need feel so overwhelming is because, in your life, before you can remember even, they never were MET!

You ALWAYS have done the best you could, and felt helpless a lot of the time.

This is essentially the story of ALL of us – that helplessness and neediness as a child just sticks in our subconscious and lays there like the “control key” to your psyche.

Instead of being upset with YOURSELF, can you see that you’ve SURVIVED?

That, without the voice that’s now screaming at you so loudly, you might have crawled into an emotional hole and not even, ever, become as aware as you are now?

This is a great moment for you.

Your job is to feed the needs of YOU – and we need to find out what you need and go about creating a new sensibility for yourself that’s DEEPER than these judgments and expectations “happening” in your life.

I know this sounds fanciful.

What if NOTHING that happens actually has ANY “meaning” at all until you make the choice of the meaning it has?

So – let’s work on different “meanings!”

Love, Rori

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  1.  #1Tina on September 21, 2019 at 8:30 pm

    I feel like I saw this at a good time. I have always felt that I carried the blame for my relationships with unavailable men. My boyfriend of two years just broke up with me because he said he “loves me but is scared.” I don’t know if he means of the commitment or of me in general. I felt so terrible because I’ve tried so hard to not be needy or reactive with him. He reminded me of my first love who left me because I got so clingy after I realized he was not ready for marriage and wanted to be free. He was young, but this man is almost 40. I’m ten years younger. I thought i was a great girlfriend, but he still said I made him feel like he was walking on eggshells. I got angry at certain things, such as when he called talking about buying a house for himself and suggested I look into houses too. He didn’t seem to see why this would upset me, and he says I’m too easily triggered and he feels guilty when I get upset. It’s just hard because I’ve worked on myself so much to not be overly-reactive. I’m still struggling with carrying the weight of driving him away or making him feel smothered somehow. I knew he wasn’t ready, and I should have ended it for real after that long. I miss him terribly, he says he loves me but can’t live feeling like that. I thought he was the one, and our connection seemed so special. I fear I won’t find it again or see him again. He was so distant and wouldn’t regularly call, which bothered me especially when he was on a trip. He only texted. He said it was because he was scared. so I grew insecure and he noticed. I wish I could have been stronger and inspired him to stay. I never imagined he would hurt me so much, and I trusted him.